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00:00Hello Duchess. Hello Rosie. It's so nice to see you. How are you? Great how are you? Good yes I'm
00:08all right thank you not too bad but very happy to be talking to you about a subject that I
00:14know the
00:14two of us care about passionately so thank you for joining me today on World Kindness Day.
00:21So tell me why is kindness such an important value to you? Well firstly I couldn't agree more this is
00:29our favorite subject isn't it Rosie? It is we could talk for hours and I know absolutely hours about it
00:34and do you remember um do you remember that lovely um that lovely lunch we had with Jo Malone and
00:40all
00:40our lovely friends and Joan Collins yeah and uh and do you remember I bought Poppy and uh Poppy my
00:47goddaughter hold on yeah like your long hair yes um and um and I bought Poppy my goddaughter who I
00:54love
00:54and it was her mummy who um died of melanoma and on uh just before she died she said Fergie
01:01remember
01:01to there should be more kindness in the world and remember that word now that must have been
01:0720 or more years ago that she died and and and so I'm I I sort of always remember her
01:14telling me that
01:15I think the first thing I had to learn was to be kind to myself and and to realize that
01:20it's okay to
01:21to be uh as people say you know slightly different or or or have a different perspective on life uh
01:29or to
01:29live I'm 61 but live in a in a world of six to eight year olds and write children books
01:36and children's
01:36yeah and so I I sometimes I said to Kate this morning I said goodness sometimes I forget that I'm
01:4261 and
01:42and I I love life so much and yeah and the way that I live it with my value system
01:49is goodness and
01:50kindness so kindness is remembering kindness is loyalty kindness is friendship and kindness is never
01:57forgetting who has been there through thick and thin through good days bad days rainy days and I've
02:05mentioned Jo and and of course you and Eduardo and Caroline and so I believe uh that I was really
02:13happy to talk to you on world kindness oh well thank you and we appreciate it and you know our
02:18relationship with you and your family is very important to me and all of us that are hello
02:21um but I think you really touched on something important there as well about kindness is not
02:27judgmental I think certainly you know we have to remember that you never quite know what is going on
02:33in somebody's life at any given time and often people do judge people by how they look or the
02:40amazing photos that are on their social media profiles but we never really know what is going
02:45on in their lives and if you treat people with kindness you're kind of setting a benchmark that you
02:51can never go wrong kind of can you well the the thing is is that kindness kindness has no boundaries
02:59kindness kindness has no uh you can't put it in a box it's yeah I'd call it altitude because yeah
03:06because I'd much rather go home uh if someone's crossed with me I'd much rather go up to them and
03:13say what what is it I'm terribly sorry if I've done something to offend you yeah thing we can fix
03:17and if they know I just hate redheads I go okay well but at least you know I've cleared my
03:25side of the
03:25street as I call it and yeah so but but but Rosie if I could come back because a lot
03:30of people think
03:31in their speedy lives now and it is so frightening out there with social media and all this is so
03:36frightening uh what is kindness and I I looked at kindness and the word and it is not just one
03:47word
03:47it's a umbrella for yeah kindness loyalty friendship yeah and that's so needed especially
03:55now isn't it we're just entering you know in a second lockdown times are really tough and challenging
04:01for a huge number of people around the country I think now is the time to kind of fire up
04:06our
04:07kindness mojo isn't it and to use it in our communities as well as in our own homes and to
04:12ourselves you know self-compassion is such an important part of it how do you kind of practice
04:19self-compassion what how are you kind to yourself in this fast-paced world well well uh Rosie um in
04:26this fast-paced world I I find that that is the key is to spot your own pressure addiction
04:33I must I must I must I must I must I must and then you suddenly stop and go why
04:38must I why yeah we
04:40pressure ourselves so much don't we my pressure button would be oh yeah I must go down I must do
04:47this I
04:48must do that I must do that's right but actually who's the judge who's the person with the whip
04:52who's the person that's making you do all this it's your own judgment of yourself so if you could
04:57take the pressure off you for a second and say how are you Sarah yeah how are you today and
05:04then you
05:05suddenly go oh okay did you have to teach yourself that kind of practice or does it come naturally did
05:11you learn it kind of over a long period of time did you learn the hard way I learned it
05:16from
05:16Knox Rosie and from um and for understanding who you are and for so many years I was running around
05:23as a people pleaser or running around trying to make everybody love me uh uh but instead I realized
05:29that once you put the oxygen mask on yourself literally like an airplane yeah then once you do
05:35that then the outward energy is so much easier because you're kinder to yourself so once you're kinder
05:42to yourself and you become aware of yourself then you it's not selfish as I was a 61 being brought
05:49up
05:49by my grandmother and people always saying selfish you're selfish to think of yourself no it's not
05:54get yourself right and then you can give so much to others yes that's true and that's the great thing
06:00about kindness isn't it it has so many benefits to yourself as well as the people you were being kind
06:05to I was talking to my little um son my six and a half year old last night about kindness
06:11and I asked
06:12him what kindness meant to him and he said kindness makes me feel as happy as it does the person
06:18that
06:18I'm being kind to and I thought gosh yes you know you you really understood it there it is about
06:24you know
06:25how you feel as well and there are so many benefits to being kind you know it improves self-confidence
06:31I even read somewhere recently that it can make you look younger because of the rush of oxygen to
06:36your body you know when you do something nice well Rosie I'm very happy about that yeah well well done
06:42well done you being a good mum to um to your son to that he knows that at six that's
06:47great yeah so
06:49well done you you must take it and then and then I think this is why I'm so determined Rosie
06:56to
06:57to bring um the kq measurement um into schools and the kindness quota so you have the eq the iq
07:05but
07:05what about the kindness quota because the interesting thing about that and that we'll come back to that
07:09later on yeah it's a lovely concept though yeah I'm really interested in that your kindness quota
07:15thank you love and we can do that later but Rosie just going back to that point the the kq
07:21um is is
07:22later and it's really exciting and that will be a whole whole whole new thing I'm bringing yeah as
07:27an ambassador for them but I I want to go back to your son saying yeah be kind to another
07:34you know
07:34it has been proven that you're right there is this rush of a hormone and I can't remember the name
07:40of it
07:41but we'll look it up afterwards won't we but it really is this hormone that makes you feel so much
07:47better yeah let me get out of your own way as I call it and you also kept the nation's
07:52children
07:52entertained with story time with Fergie and friends which was a great initiative still going on
07:59I believe hold on one minute one minute one minute I know yeah but you can keep recording
08:04okay recording because now you see once you play Fergie and friends look yeah well you entertain them
08:13with your little activities that you did as well and your outfits which is really great fun
08:18and I did I kept going Rosie on Halloween imagine monster yeah um sandwiches and yeah and I think
08:27your six-year-old might like bat um oh yeah yeah great and I saw the mummies that you made
08:32at one
08:33point as well yeah um yeah very well the cooking and we have got a little exclusive to discuss isn't
08:41there
08:41a book sort of following on from this on the subject of kindness you've got a gift of kindness book
08:47coming out that's right you're very up to date Rosie I am I got excited about an exclusive to do
08:56with
08:56this can you tell me a little bit about the book it's a children's book it's a children's book it's
09:02called the gift of kindness and yeah uh the um is the donation my side of the donation will go
09:07to
09:07uh dig actually to build out the kq foundation which is the right oh great yeah and your your
09:13six-year-old will love it what's what's his name heath heath okay he's the elder yeah and rex is
09:19five so we probably aimed at both of them yeah okay so do heath and rex by any chance like
09:27going to
09:27wonderland oh yes they do yeah we go there every year yeah right okay so it's based around heath and
09:35rex going there's two children going to okay right wander into with with mom and dad into
09:40winter wonderland and there's a little old man uh with his little dog called snowball and yeah and
09:47they don't walk past the little old man who looks um looks to you know yes we said at the
09:52beginning of
09:52this it's it's about judgment yeah he's just sitting there with his little dog and they don't
09:57rush off to go on the big wheel or on the games they they actually go up to him and
10:01say hello you know
10:03hi there yeah can we get you some hot chocolate and he says so kind of you but you i
10:09can give you a
10:10hot chestnut so they take the hot chestnut and immediately they're transported into the um a victorian
10:17fair in 18. oh wow oh amazing they go back in time time and it's to teach children about the
10:24uh
10:24victorian period and the history and they go and they go along and they they follow the little snowball
10:31and now they're all dressed in victorian clothes and they go and follow little snowball and snowball
10:35takes them to an orphanage and there is the nasty woman who's being very nasty to all the children
10:41are very grumpy and um and then they say they knock on the door and and the lady says what
10:47do
10:47you want and the two rex and heath say yeah please come please come to the fair it'd be so
10:52fun
10:52yeah it's me i'm just an old bag nobody wants me and of course by the act of kindness she
10:58changed
10:59yeah and therefore she changes all the lives right they feel great then snowball takes them back to
11:05winter wonderland and they go home and dad how lovely it sounds magical i'll have to read that
11:12to my children yeah don't worry you'll get you'll get a book sounds gorgeous it's very exciting and
11:18again a reminder of that that kindness really is quite an old-fashioned value isn't it it's just good
11:23old-fashioned manners yes actually rex said that when i asked him about what kindness meant and he said
11:29it's being polite yeah which i sort of said well that sums it up as well isn't it it's just
11:34good
11:34old-fashioned manners well we quite like rex as well you see because my father my father always
11:41brought me up to say that the uh that the uh the person in the kitchen was just as important
11:47as the
11:48table yeah and don't ever forget that they've they've gone out done the shopping they've cooked
11:53the lovely dinner why are you not remembering that they're just as important yeah and then also the
11:58other thing i have is in this day which is so fast so easy just to drop a whatsapp isn't
12:05it
12:05but what about a handwritten note you're very good with your handwritten notes i've had handwritten
12:11note from you and you do lovely little illustrations on them you've got beautiful handwriting thank you
12:17yes i remember that yeah i've kept my um i do that i do do a fountain pen and i
12:23yeah i think if rosie
12:25if heath and rex have cooked me some lovely um bats bickies or whatever yeah at um yeah then the
12:32least i can do is write a little note yes well we will have to make sure that that happens
12:38um now we
12:39touched a little bit on the online world sort of going back to that you know we live in this
12:44fast
12:44paced world now where the online world has become you know just as important as the real world to
12:49many extents i mean look at us here talking through a screen um but the online world has lots of
12:55negativity around it um especially at the moment and people are suffering from trolling and negative
13:01comments how do you deal with kind of that aspect of being online what's your experience of that world
13:07well when i because i live at uh with heath and rex this age group i find it really yeah
13:13i find it
13:14really cruel i yeah i have to say it's one of my big things that really affects my heart um
13:20being a
13:20golden-hearted rebel uh as i just i just oh my goodness please be nice to each other why do
13:28you have
13:28to be so judgmental but i do understand if somebody is really hurting and they're reaching out and lashing
13:34out they don't really mean to they're just in fear that they haven't done the work and you need to
13:40do
13:40work you know you need that's very gracious of you yeah to think of the other person but how does
13:47that
13:47make you feel yourself do you read these comments uh well uh yes i do i absolutely do and i
13:53have done
13:54and for i've been in the public life now for 34 years or something and i'm still just as sensitive
13:59as
13:59i was when i started and uh and you know when they wrote 82 percent would sleep with the goat
14:04than
14:04fergie well that was in the papers and now it's on social media and i do understand it's so cruel
14:13and and it's so i i do know i'm lost for words as to what to do so i think
14:19the only thing we can do
14:21is lead by example and the example is is to when all men doubt you you write you you raise
14:27your game
14:28and you yeah and and mother theresa did that lovely poem which says um if people are unfair be fair
14:34anyway you know if people are on time be kind anyway so i think yeah the game i have in
14:40answer
14:40to your question is the crueler people are to me the more that i smile right and the more determined
14:48you are to rise up yes i am and and i really and i will keep smiling and i think
14:55rosie in all my i know
14:57many young people have probably no idea who this mad redhead is but but if you look back at every
15:02single photograph and that has ever been photographed for me you'll find me smiling except for one
15:08photograph i remember yeah that takes a lot of strength doesn't it and the building of resilience
15:13which is kind of quite exhausting to have to do so i think you know part of what we want
15:19to do
15:19together i think you know is to spread this message of kindness because it's very sad that reading
15:25commentary on your social media account should put you into such a bad place and make you feel so
15:30upset it's unnecessary well i think i think it's beyond rosie actually unnecessary i think it is
15:37abhorrent i think rolling i think uh the tweets i think the i i i find it abhorrent that that
15:47that you
15:48can waste your time to be so cruel to another member of the human race i i i well i
15:55i guess
15:56people go around shooting animals and taking rhinos um horns off and people are very cruel and i don't
16:03understand why that why they're so cool and and and the complacency of people that would do this
16:09it it's just that's why we have to get kq into schools we've got kindness for young people but
16:16sounds like heath and rex are good examples well yes i mean that we try yeah and um but i
16:22think having
16:22that greater accountability online is going to be really important in the future as well you know so
16:28that people remember you know that there is a human being at the other end of that social media account
16:34and that they have to be accountable for the commentary that they make you know because
16:38there are all these false accounts and things like that you know it just feels a bit out of control
16:43and so which is why i certainly feel it's so important that we push our hello to kindness campaign
16:49which was launched in reaction to the growing negativity we were seeing especially within the
16:54social media world and you know members of our team spending a disproportionate amount of time
16:59blocking users deleting racist bullying sexist you know commentary it's just you know we wanted to
17:07make a stand and say this is not okay in our world you know we have to think about people's
17:13feelings
17:13well it's too easy it's far too easy to feel bad about yourself and therefore beat someone else up
17:20you know you really have to look at why you would put another person down yeah because in fact you're
17:26jealous is it because you wish to be that person all right well then reach out and say how can
17:32you
17:32help me rather than oh you must be awful because yeah yeah now we talked as well a bit about
17:40teaching
17:40kindness in our children um your beautiful daughters who had a great year by all accounts with a wedding
17:48and a baby on the way um how did you teach the value of kindness in them well you're you're
17:54sweet it
17:55sounds to me rose you've been great with rex and heath uh so you know what to do i i
18:00believe you
18:01lead by example and one of the things i really notice is if you um when you go and speak
18:07to your
18:08children as a parent if you go and speak to your children um shut the telephone off turn the television
18:13off shut the door and say hi i'm here you show them the same respect as you would another just
18:19because
18:19they're little people you know five and six or whatever age why are they not entitled to be
18:25listened to why are they not entitled to their invoice i mean look what heath and rex told you
18:31um and yeah that was out of that just be polite and have balance well and being properly present
18:38yeah how about when you're talking to someone they're looking down at the telephone
18:41does that not drive you mad yeah why not just say excuse me for one minute could you just
18:46could look me in the eye yeah for children the most important thing is lead by example
18:52and try and remember that just because you're known as an adult are you really an adult just
18:58just be human you make mistakes on a daily basis too so just go to your children and say oh
19:05oh dear
19:06sorry did i annoy you today or how are you or yeah or can i make things better or perhaps
19:11you're
19:12angry with mommy and daddy so i did the five nuggets i call it which is you know how was
19:18school
19:18today you know and then and you see their reaction but it means that you're listening
19:24yeah it's so important because you do have to teach empathy in children you know other they're not born
19:31empathetic it's something that you is a learned behavior you know to develop that part of the brain
19:37is a developmental stage so we have to sort of always encourage them you know to to show
19:43compassion yeah and that starts very much in the home doesn't it now of course before we go
19:49looking ahead to 2021 and a year that we all hope fingers crossed and prayers that we're going to be
19:57able
19:57to reset and sort of rebuild and reconnect with one another um it's also a year where you're set to
20:04become a grandmother which is very exciting and um how are you going to go about sort of teaching
20:11that kind of empathy and that kindness in the new family member oh you're so funny i i if anyone's
20:20seen fergie and friends you will know that that that is just what every minute you do yeah you're
20:26going to be their best buddy aren't you you'll be the grandmother and also that sort of really cozy
20:33moment uh with i remember my grandmother and i think rather nice rosie maybe later on we should
20:39talk about uh a project about would you remember your grandmother's words you know it might be rather
20:44a lovely yeah yes that is true my grandmother was the kindest woman yeah and i kind of like that
20:51feeling and uh so so we might do that together we could i love that maybe i could go and
20:58interview
20:58with you lovely people that remember their grannies and be your granny day yes that's a
21:04lovely idea because the older generation you know and especially now with what we're going through
21:09you know loneliness and the mental health issues are not just you know there's a lot of buzz around
21:14mental health in younger people which obviously is a huge issue too but also the elderly you know
21:20suffering from loneliness well you could you could we could do the hello hello to kindness granny awards
21:26yes your best granny yes but the thing is i remember my granny and i remember the most exciting thing
21:34ever was going over to her house and having a um some raspberries with with cream jersey lovely
21:44uh caster sugar and the sugar the sugar bowl was a red glass and it had as it this silver
21:52spoon was
21:53like a spade so it was amusing to dig sugar yeah and then she grated digestive biscuits on top really
22:01oh wow and it's so funny to to think i i will never forget it and i think the raspberries
22:07came out of a
22:08tin then and yeah and it was so long ago and i but i'll never forget it and even today
22:15when i sort of
22:17see raspberries i think of a wonderful happy heart moment in my heart she taught you about kindness
22:23as well didn't she your grandmother yes yeah so you'll be the kindest grandmother to this lovely
22:29little grandchild that will come along and brighten up 2021 well i call it i call it joy bubbles actually
22:36rosie i think that that there are joy bubbles everywhere and and i think rex and heath will agree
22:42you don't know where joy bubbles might appear you know i always say that there fairies everywhere you
22:47don't know whether they're going to appear right and uh and and of course joy bubbles is really what
22:53i'm about and so yeah yes i'm very proud of this year and my girls i mean i'm no no
22:59more proud of my
23:00girls that end flying to the moment i mean they couldn't get more proud of my two beautiful girls
23:04yes yeah well great examples of of of really practicing what you preach and being gentle being
23:11kind and and kindness they are so empathetic and they really are exceptional exceptional girls and
23:18leading by example yeah yeah i love what princess eugenie's done with her scoliosis you know and
23:25encouraging all of those you know young people with their scars to be proud of them i mean that's an
23:31incredibly kind selfless act isn't it and also Beatrice with her dyslexia and talking about it
23:38you know they certainly are the most humble people i know well i had a fantastic mother and i'm really
23:47glad and thrilled to call you a friend Sarah and i really enjoyed our chat so let's celebrate world
23:53kindness day but it's not just about today it's about every day you know and making the practice of
23:59kindness you know part of your daily routine whether that's to yourself or to you know your
24:05loved ones or within the wider communities we need it so badly right now don't we so badly and i'm
24:12just
24:12so proud to to sort of sit in that world i love it it makes it feels good doesn't it
24:19yeah feels gentle
24:21well thank you for being so open today it was really lovely to see you to see you rosie we
24:26could
24:26go on for hours we could go on that will be the end of the official one yeah and now
24:32and now we have
24:33the real gossip thank you so much i'll send um rex and heath a book today oh i can't wait
24:42to read
24:42that i'd love that we'll make some biscuits as well i'll look up the bats all right back bickies
24:49all right thank you take care bye
24:52you
24:53you
24:58you
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