- 2 days ago
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00:00:09American Beach House
00:00:12I know a place where dreams come true
00:00:15Summer nights with an ocean view
00:00:19Gonna give you a tour
00:00:21Of our American Beach House
00:00:26Cruisin' the beach where my girls
00:00:28Here we go in my new hot two-piece
00:00:32Oh, boys are lookin' at me
00:00:36Like I'm the next big thing
00:00:38Oh, put your hands up
00:00:42Oh, it's a party
00:00:45Oh, in our American Beach House
00:00:50If you're down for some Malibu heat
00:00:54You beach girls, you're in for a treat
00:00:57Live it up with my boys
00:01:00In our American Beach House
00:01:05Don't be afraid, we're alive and we're young
00:01:08Let's make some memories, let's make some
00:01:11Crazy hot love
00:01:19Oh, put your hands up
00:01:22Oh, put your hands up
00:01:23Oh, put your hands up
00:01:23Oh...
00:01:24It's a party
00:01:26Oh, it's a party
00:01:45Put your hands up, it's a party, oh, in our American Beach House, American Beach House.
00:01:59I'm good.
00:02:00Oh.
00:02:04Hey, buddy, can you hold this for a second?
00:02:05Yeah.
00:02:07You won.
00:02:09It was like you and five other heads.
00:02:11We all want to be everyone.
00:02:13Yeah.
00:02:13Did you guys see it online?
00:02:14I didn't know it would be everyone.
00:02:19Hey, Charlie, where are you going?
00:02:20We all want to be everyone.
00:02:37Hello?
00:02:38Huh.
00:02:39I could get used to this.
00:02:41It's not bad.
00:02:43Not bad?
00:02:45Sorry, guys.
00:02:46Must have been something I ate.
00:02:48Something you ate.
00:02:50Yeah, you know, I noticed something back there in the van.
00:02:53WWWTMI.
00:02:55What?
00:02:56Way, way too much information.
00:02:58Speaking of information, I know why I'm here, but are you guys winners too, and exactly what does that mean
00:03:05and how does that work?
00:03:09If I could have your attention please, I think I can answer all of your questions.
00:03:14First of all, hello.
00:03:18Hi.
00:03:19Hi.
00:03:19And on behalf of Winfrey, the New Films International Digital Download Service, welcome.
00:03:25My name is Miss Maureen and I'm the house manager.
00:03:28You may also recognize me from the winner's notification download.
00:03:31Well, first of all, let's welcome you all.
00:03:34Uh, Charles, I hear that you're interested in, uh, technology and computers.
00:03:39A little.
00:03:40Okay.
00:03:41And Johnny, you're a college athlete?
00:03:43Yes, ma'am.
00:03:44Vincent, free med, yes?
00:03:46Absolutely.
00:03:47All right.
00:03:48Lola, have you decided on your masters yet?
00:03:50Not yet.
00:03:52Maggie, how's your fashion line coming along?
00:03:55Fantastic.
00:03:55You should check it out.
00:03:57And Jenna, I'm so glad you could get time off your teaching job to be with us.
00:04:01Well, as you can see, we've all researched you thoroughly as a prerequisite to your being invited to this beach
00:04:07house.
00:04:07I'm here to make sure everything during your prize winning stay runs smoothly.
00:04:12As all expense paid prize winners, each of you is entitled to your run of the house.
00:04:16Anything you want from the fridge, freezer, bar, access to all the games, toys, pool, fire pit,
00:04:22and 40 feet of the best beachfront property the United States has to offer for the next seven days.
00:04:28Two rules.
00:04:30One, you all have to share in the prize.
00:04:32If one of you goes home early, you all have to go home early.
00:04:38And two, no ocean swimming after dark.
00:04:42So anything you want to know about the house, ask me.
00:04:46Anything you want to know about the beach, ask Joe, the lifeguard.
00:04:50You'll find him on the beach from sunrise to sundown at the lifeguard shack.
00:05:01Those are the rules.
00:05:02Any questions?
00:05:03Great.
00:05:04Well, room assignments are on the board.
00:05:07All right.
00:05:07I say, let's stash all of our stuff in our rooms, heat up the hot tub, and the liquor cabinet.
00:05:12Let's get this party started, shall we?
00:05:14Woo!
00:05:14I'm in.
00:05:15You having me at liquor cabinet?
00:05:17Hells of the motherfucking yeah!
00:05:19We can do this.
00:05:20Wow.
00:05:29Okay, so I haven't decided which bikini I want to wear yet.
00:05:34You mean there's options?
00:05:35Of course!
00:05:36Oh, I like this purple one.
00:05:37On me or on you?
00:05:39Really?
00:05:39Yeah!
00:05:40These are my designs.
00:05:41These are all like samples.
00:05:42So I figured it'd be a perfect time to test them out.
00:05:45Yeah.
00:05:46But I think you left your steamer trunk in the hallway.
00:05:48Oh!
00:05:49Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:05:49I'll get it later.
00:05:51Dude, look.
00:05:52It's the girls' bedroom.
00:05:53You want to watch?
00:05:54What?
00:05:54You can see everything?
00:05:56Charlie, you're such a pervert, man.
00:06:00So, do you want to watch or not?
00:06:01I'm down.
00:06:02Maybe.
00:06:03Depends who's getting undressed.
00:06:05All right, ladies.
00:06:06Let's strip down and suit up.
00:06:10We'll give it a few minutes and it'll be all of them.
00:06:14There you go.
00:06:15Wait.
00:06:16Before you take anything else off.
00:06:18What?
00:06:18What's up?
00:06:19You know how in those reality shows they have like hidden cameras all over?
00:06:24I have a feeling about that Technart.
00:06:26He might have come in here and snuck a camera somewhere.
00:06:29You know, he absolutely was the first one in the house.
00:06:32Yeah.
00:06:32But, I don't know about you, but I'm not about to be recorded without my knowledge.
00:06:36Mm-mm.
00:06:37Check out this app on my phone.
00:06:40It recognizes remote camera frequencies as if it were the receiver.
00:06:43What?
00:06:44Oh, yeah.
00:06:44If there's a camera in here, it'll pick it up.
00:06:46What are they doing?
00:06:47Who cares?
00:06:49Let me see if I can...
00:06:50Oh.
00:06:51Hey, what was that?
00:06:53Really?
00:06:54There's a camera in here.
00:06:55I don't know.
00:06:56Shh.
00:06:57Okay.
00:06:57It's on right now.
00:06:59Those perverts are watching us right now.
00:07:01Yeah.
00:07:04Dude, that Lola girl, man.
00:07:06She looks so...
00:07:06But if we report it, we might all have to go home.
00:07:09Oh, no, no, no.
00:07:10That's not happening.
00:07:10We just got here.
00:07:11Okay.
00:07:12Okay.
00:07:12First, detection.
00:07:14Then, revenge.
00:07:15Okay.
00:07:16I can work with that.
00:07:17You know what?
00:07:19They're watching.
00:07:20Let's give them something to watch.
00:07:21And talk about.
00:07:23Music, please.
00:07:24Okay.
00:07:24Aw.
00:07:37Look at everything just bouncing.
00:07:39It's...
00:07:40It's just like heaven clouds.
00:07:43This is what they think girls do in real life.
00:07:48Beautiful.
00:07:48Yeah, man.
00:07:50Jeez.
00:07:52Damn.
00:07:57Hey, hypnoboy.
00:07:59Transfixation, lad.
00:08:00You in there?
00:08:01Hey, problem is I'm the same way.
00:08:02Just so you know, if you're talking about Jenna, I'm gonna have to kill you.
00:08:06No.
00:08:07I'm more of a Maggie type, man.
00:08:19No.
00:08:19Oh, no.
00:08:21What the fuck happened?
00:08:22It was just getting interesting.
00:08:24Okay, no, no, no.
00:08:24Seriously.
00:08:25Uh-oh.
00:08:26Um.
00:08:27You think they knew that we were watching them?
00:08:29Uh, yeah, I'm pretty sure.
00:08:32There's a big fuck you from her right there.
00:08:33This is not good, gentlemen.
00:08:36I mean, luckily, I can rewind this and we could...
00:08:39I could replay everything, but you guys probably don't want to be in the room,
00:08:43because...
00:08:45I mean, if you do, that's fine.
00:08:46I really don't want to be in the room.
00:08:47I can always use an extra hand.
00:08:48I will gladly leave the room.
00:08:50I've been practicing these new techniques.
00:08:52You want us to leave, Charlie?
00:08:53No, you can stay.
00:08:53You want some alone time?
00:08:54Rub one out.
00:08:55I mean, everyone can arrive.
00:09:41Oh, man, I can't take it.
00:09:45Which one?
00:09:47Maggie, the brunette.
00:09:50Good taste.
00:09:51But, you know, there's not a bad apple in that whole bunch there, buddy.
00:09:54It's so frustrating.
00:09:56I don't think she even knows I exist.
00:09:58Well, then you have to make sure she does.
00:10:02Wait, no offense.
00:10:04You think I'm going to take romantic advice from an old lifeguard?
00:10:08Oh, nice.
00:10:10I'll answer that in two parts.
00:10:12Number one, I'm hung like a orangutan.
00:10:15Hey, big guy.
00:10:16You got enough air down there?
00:10:18Number two, all this talk about how men think that women think that size doesn't matter, it's BS, man.
00:10:26I mean, look at me.
00:10:27I'm an okay-looking guy.
00:10:28I mean, I got a pretty good physique, natural tan and everything.
00:10:32But all I do is sit up there in that tower and wait for them to come to me.
00:10:35If I don't mind saying so myself, I have saved my fair share of relationships.
00:10:41Because when I'm not up in that tower, I'm a marriage counselor in Santa Monica.
00:10:46Dr. Joe, the lifeguard, marriage counselor McKay, at your service.
00:10:50You're kidding, right?
00:10:51About which part?
00:10:52The marriage counseling part?
00:10:53No.
00:10:54About the part getting more sex than a man can handle in a lifetime.
00:10:58It's true, man.
00:11:00It's true.
00:11:01But I'll be honest with you, it's not enough that you want them.
00:11:05They have to pick you.
00:11:07So how do we make that happen here?
00:11:09Okay, now listen up, because I'm only going to tell you this once, all right?
00:11:11I want you to go down to the pier, get a candle.
00:11:15And then tonight, I want you to stand outside of her bedroom window.
00:11:18Not too close, mind you.
00:11:20Yeah, don't want to creep her out.
00:11:23Are you sure about this?
00:11:24Just stand outside of her window, okay?
00:11:27With your lit candle.
00:11:29Selfless in your vigil.
00:11:31Through rain or shine.
00:11:39Look at me now.
00:11:40Whoa.
00:11:41Whoa.
00:11:42Dude.
00:11:42Wow.
00:11:43Look at me now.
00:11:45Look at me now.
00:11:45Look at me now.
00:11:46Look at me now.
00:11:47Come on.
00:11:50Woo!
00:11:52Yeah, buddy!
00:11:54Awesome.
00:11:55I like it.
00:12:06All right.
00:12:07Let's go to the pier.
00:12:15All right.
00:12:16I want to show you if you want to.
00:12:18If you want to.
00:12:19No.
00:12:21Bye-bye.
00:12:26Bye.
00:12:28Good night, ladies.
00:12:29Good night.
00:12:31Oh, oh, oh.
00:12:34It's a seal.
00:12:35I know.
00:12:37Uh, well, I'm gonna turn in.
00:12:44I will see you in the morning.
00:12:47Ladies, good night.
00:12:49Good night.
00:12:50What about your jacket?
00:12:50Keep it, so I can recognize you the next time I see you.
00:13:14Mind if I join you?
00:13:15Of course.
00:13:16Get in.
00:13:17Oh, this is one of the perks of the job.
00:13:20Next to meeting nice new people like you.
00:13:22So what exactly do you do?
00:13:24Oh, I'm a lot of different things.
00:13:27House manager, sometimes cook, yoga instructor, tour guide,
00:13:33friend if someone ever needs one.
00:13:35I'd like to try the yoga if I can.
00:13:377 AM out here tomorrow morning.
00:13:39Oh.
00:13:40And when's the second class?
00:13:42If anyone would know second class, it'd be good.
00:13:46Nice.
00:13:48Oh, God.
00:13:51That was a big splash.
00:13:53Shh, shh, shh, shh.
00:13:55I love you.
00:13:57No!
00:13:59I do like foreplay, especially who knows what he's doing.
00:14:03Class.
00:14:05Okay, so I have a confession to make.
00:14:10I haven't actually done it.
00:14:15You've got to be kidding me.
00:14:17I know.
00:14:18I'm a nasty little teaser girl.
00:14:20But I was raised old fashioned, so, yeah, I'm a virgin.
00:14:25And I'm okay with that, but I do everything else.
00:14:29Not really everything.
00:14:31So you're waiting for the honeymoon?
00:14:33No, it's nothing like that.
00:14:36When I meet the great guy, I'll know it.
00:14:38What about you, Lola?
00:14:40Lover, boyfriend, ex-husband, ex-murderer.
00:14:44I've actually never been in love.
00:14:47I don't even know what love feels like.
00:14:51Miss Maureen?
00:14:53Oh, just Maureen.
00:14:55Um, let's just say that Love and I are old and...
00:15:00dear friends.
00:15:02But there's nothing quite like the feeling of being in love or...
00:15:08or giving to someone, or the high of being in love.
00:15:13I guess...
00:15:15I don't have a clue.
00:15:17Trust yourself.
00:15:18You'll know.
00:15:21Well, I guess I'm gonna call it a night.
00:15:23Or take a long walk on the beach.
00:15:25I haven't decided yet.
00:15:27Yeah, well...
00:15:28Bedtime for me.
00:15:30And then...
00:15:31Yoga at the ass crack of dawn.
00:15:34Me too.
00:15:35Thanks for your advice, Maureen.
00:15:48There's no way.
00:15:49There would be a little horse.
00:15:49It's a little too...
00:15:51There's no horse, but...
00:15:51No!
00:15:52I can't do any...
00:15:52I can't do any...
00:15:58What up, my friend?
00:16:04I can't do any horse.
00:16:04You can...
00:16:07There's no horse.
00:16:09Come out.
00:16:14Come out. It's okay.
00:16:25Sorry if I creeped you out.
00:16:28I was looking at Maggie.
00:16:31She's so beautiful.
00:16:34And, well, now, you...
00:16:41There's nothing wrong with looking.
00:16:44Have you tried telling her?
00:16:47Yeah, I could never do that.
00:16:49Well, never say never.
00:16:51I think you can man up quite nicely if given the chance.
00:16:59Could you hand me my robe on your way up?
00:17:06Yeah.
00:17:07Yeah.
00:17:28That's your robe?
00:17:30The blue one.
00:17:54You could just leave it here.
00:17:56All right.
00:18:10I'm just gonna...
00:18:12Come here.
00:18:23I'm just gonna...
00:18:31Go.
00:18:31Good.
00:18:36Good.
00:18:41Good night.
00:18:42Go.
00:18:43Good night.
00:18:43Good night.
00:18:45I'll be back.
00:18:46Good night.
00:18:46Good night.
00:18:56Hey, it's you.
00:19:01I thought I'd seen all I was going to see of you tonight.
00:19:04What are you doing out here?
00:19:06I couldn't sleep.
00:19:08Why not?
00:19:09I was thinking about you.
00:19:12Oh.
00:19:13Jenna, Jenna.
00:19:16Wherefore art thou?
00:19:18With love's light wings,
00:19:20these stony limits cannot hold the love out.
00:19:24Wilt thou leave me so unsatisfied?
00:19:29And what satisfaction canst thou have tonight?
00:19:34Well, he didn't write it like this,
00:19:35but Shakespeare, he would say, come down to me.
00:19:39Um, yeah, give me a minute.
00:19:41Come on, I got you.
00:19:43I'll catch you.
00:19:44Are you sure?
00:19:44Yeah, come down.
00:19:46Okay.
00:19:48Piece of cake.
00:19:49Ready?
00:19:50Ready.
00:19:51Ready?
00:19:51Go.
00:19:53Are you okay?
00:19:55The crotch is on my face.
00:19:58Was that catch me or crotch me?
00:20:01Crotch is on my face.
00:20:04Crotch me, got it.
00:20:05I kind of like it.
00:20:07Wait.
00:20:08You like that?
00:20:09Wait.
00:20:09Shh, shh, stop.
00:20:11Somebody's coming.
00:20:12He's coming.
00:20:13He's coming.
00:20:17Stop.
00:20:18Somebody's coming.
00:20:19Oh, shh.
00:20:21Oh.
00:20:24Are you okay, dear?
00:20:26Out here all by yourself?
00:20:27Um, yeah.
00:20:31Mm-hmm.
00:20:32Yeah.
00:20:34Uh-huh.
00:20:36Oh, you happen to be sitting right here on my favorite walking path to the beach.
00:20:42Uh-huh.
00:20:45Uh-huh.
00:20:47Uh-huh.
00:20:48Uh-huh.
00:20:49Uh-huh.
00:20:51Uh-huh.
00:20:51Uh-huh.
00:20:52Uh-huh.
00:20:53To burn off all my excess sexual energy.
00:20:58Uh-huh.
00:20:59Uh-huh.
00:21:00Uh-huh.
00:21:01So, uh, did you come here with a group or by yourself?
00:21:06Um, I, it's just, no, I mean, uh, it's just me.
00:21:12Uh-huh.
00:21:14Uh-huh.
00:21:14Uh-huh.
00:21:15Oh, poor dear, you're shivering.
00:21:17Is there anything, anything else, else that I can, uh, that I can do for you, ma'am?
00:21:25Ma'am?
00:21:26Oh.
00:21:27God.
00:21:28Would you want a blanket?
00:21:29Oh.
00:21:30Oh, no, no.
00:21:32Oh, here.
00:21:32No, thank you.
00:21:33Here.
00:21:33Take my shawl.
00:21:34No.
00:21:35Uh-huh.
00:21:36Uh-huh.
00:21:38Well.
00:21:38Is that better?
00:21:40Uh-huh.
00:21:42Uh-huh.
00:21:42Uh-huh.
00:21:43Uh-huh.
00:21:46Uh-huh.
00:21:51Beekaboo.
00:21:52Hi.
00:21:53See you.
00:21:55Ho, ho, ho.
00:21:56Aw.
00:21:57Was it as good for you as much for me, young fella?
00:22:02Ho, ho, ho, ho?
00:22:03Me too.
00:22:05Jesus, lady.
00:22:07Oh, Jesus.
00:22:08I'm going to leave you my number with Miss Marine, okay?
00:22:12Mm-hmm.
00:22:13Uh-huh.
00:22:14Uh-huh.
00:22:15and I'm right down the road in the assisted living facility okay and young
00:22:21lady you need to share it's important thank you I guess
00:22:45I'm not alone saying cuz you wanna show your love
00:22:52do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do do
00:23:02do do do do do do
00:23:03see that we're free we can do almost anything no one's better than we on the beach
00:23:11that we're all just waiting for don't you hear it go do do do do do do do do do
00:23:17do do do do do
00:23:17seriously rogue sharks are not a real thing they're just people get mistaken for seals
00:23:21all the time that's why shark attacks seriously what are you doing launching
00:23:25around for I need your help first of all I'm not lounging around I'm cooling down
00:23:33after my yoga workout okay you caught me I'm icing my cooch trying to see if it'll
00:23:40overwork again I think I split something in half I need to work on my downward dog you
00:23:47know I mean yeah yeah okay help me up help me up no not you all right you're done what
00:23:57do you need my help with well Lola was jogging on the beach and she found a baby
00:24:02seal in distress she went and got Joe the lifeguard and he called a vet really nice guy he took
00:24:20the
00:24:20seal to the marine mammal Institute and now Lola wants to throw a benefit party to help raise money
00:24:25to kill the seal how'd I do well Maggie's in so am I you're already really yep I'm thinking we
00:24:41can do
00:24:41it here out here yeah yeah I'm seeing a live band maybe a couple hundred people cocktails a rave oh
00:24:51yes
00:24:51good I mean there's a whole stipulation about trying not to break anything rule but I'm sure
00:24:57we can talk that over with Maureen so you've done this before oh yeah yeah it's just like a runway
00:25:03show
00:25:03without the models less bitching involved and who knows what else I can wrangle up by Friday night
00:25:09by the way I decided the parts on Friday yay not you hey excuse me you got a quick second
00:25:23um sure
00:25:25what's up nice to meet you man Mandy West friends call me Andy West Coast it's a little joke I'm
00:25:31a
00:25:31talent agent it's literally my job go around scouting people look for fresh faces like yourself my car
00:25:36yeah yeah I'm sure you hear this all the time you my friend you've got that face for filming TV
00:25:43so
00:25:45so what if I was interested do you have any headshots no what's that a drink you're funny buddy going
00:25:52up
00:25:52to the bartender being like hey bartender look at a little headshot on the rocks no no no seriously
00:25:57seriously I they're just pictures man usually done by a professional you got those I don't look here's
00:26:03what I'm gonna do man I'm gonna get my guy on this he's gonna take care of you all right
00:26:05just do
00:26:06me a favor just be here tomorrow same place same time sure haha so do me a favor right where's
00:26:12something a little fancier white shirt there might be the commission man got to take this tomorrow
00:26:18right yeah yeah yeah huh
00:26:41selfless in your vigil selfless through rain or shine through rain or shine through rain or shine
00:26:59morning sailors some rainstorm we had last night huh
00:27:10what you doing well you've all been such good boys I decided to make you my special irresistible
00:27:21almost instant chocolate pudding really very nice of you oh no it's nothing and you guys really deserve it
00:27:47what you got there some free samples for absolutely not not until it's finished
00:28:13are those dolphins oh right out there I love dolphins huh no I think so I think I really see
00:28:18them oh pudding
00:28:20can I have some you know actually it's just for the boys oh really yeah it's special guy pudding
00:28:28guy pudding I've never heard of that yeah I was wondering about some of those yoga poses you want to
00:28:34show me some sure
00:28:35sure
00:28:36and now let's eat up boys
00:28:40mmm
00:28:49mmm
00:28:50mmm
00:28:50mmm
00:28:51oh oh yeah that's the stuff this is some of the best pudding I've ever eaten the best
00:28:56no thanks what's the special ingredient what do you mean what makes it taste so good well my mom taught
00:29:04me how to make it and
00:29:05she always said that the special ingredient was love love it's nice isn't it well I'll catch you guys later
00:29:14and I hope it all comes out all right
00:29:20I don't know what you meant by that women they always say things that don't even make sense
00:29:33awesome
00:29:40it's like an orgasm in your mouth
00:29:41mmm
00:29:46mmm
00:29:47mmm
00:29:48mmm
00:29:49mmm
00:29:49fuck it
00:29:52I'll try to get every bit
00:29:56that's a good idea
00:29:57yeah
00:29:59mmm
00:30:02mmm
00:30:04mmm
00:30:04mmm
00:30:04mmm
00:30:04mmm
00:30:05mmm
00:30:06oh that's so good
00:30:18Revenge is sweet, especially when it's splitting.
00:30:24Battle stations?
00:30:25Battle stations!
00:30:27So she's on the phone?
00:30:29Yep.
00:30:29Okay.
00:30:30It's only a matter of time.
00:30:32Okay.
00:30:33Now we wait.
00:30:35What are you doing?
00:30:36What are you up to?
00:30:37Nothing.
00:30:38Really?
00:30:39Uh huh.
00:30:40Out with it or I'll tickle it out of you.
00:30:42Double dog dare you.
00:30:44Really?
00:30:44Uh huh.
00:30:45Really?
00:30:45Really?
00:30:48Are you gonna tell me?
00:30:50Okay, so Lola wanted to get back at the boys' for their little camera gags so she planted
00:31:03their camera in their own toilet.
00:31:04I modified it.
00:31:05Ew, why?
00:31:07Ew is right, but I use gloves.
00:31:10Sanitary.
00:31:11Okay, so here's the best part.
00:31:13Then I may or may not have fed them chocolate pudding with laxatives.
00:31:20Oh my god!
00:31:21Yes, it's only a matter of time before we'll be able to see and hear the results of our little
00:31:26experiment.
00:31:27Guys, guys, who wants to go play some Santa football, huh?
00:31:32Yeah, maybe we can get the girls to join?
00:31:39What the hell?
00:31:40No!
00:31:41No!
00:31:49Oh my gosh.
00:31:51Must have been something he ate.
00:31:53You guys have the weakest stomachs.
00:32:05Oh!
00:32:07Oh!
00:32:20Oh!
00:32:22Oh!
00:32:24Oh!
00:32:26Oh!
00:32:30Oh!
00:32:31Oh!
00:32:31Oh!
00:32:32Oh!
00:32:33Oh!
00:32:34Oh!
00:32:34Oh!
00:32:37Oh!
00:32:37Oh!
00:32:46Sorry dude!
00:32:51Oh, I can't oh my god Johnny
00:33:25Oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh that was amazing. Oh, I lost my palate
00:33:46You lost five pounds.
00:33:49Oh, the abs feel good.
00:33:51Whew.
00:33:52Oh, fuck.
00:33:54Oh, fuck.
00:33:55Oh, fuck.
00:33:57Oh, not again.
00:34:02Oh, shit.
00:34:04Sorry, dude.
00:34:06No! Dude!
00:34:07Dude!
00:34:08I can't!
00:34:13I can't!
00:34:14I can't!
00:34:21A little self-prop.
00:34:23This is going on the internet, right?
00:34:26Yeah, I wonder how many YouTube hits
00:34:28do you think we're gonna get for that?
00:34:29A shitload?
00:34:31Literally!
00:34:36Bitches must die.
00:34:40Yeah.
00:34:42Group meeting.
00:34:43Group meeting.
00:34:45What the hell is that thing?
00:34:47This is, um, my special little surveillance camera.
00:34:52I found it in our bathroom.
00:34:54And in my other hand, I have hard evidence
00:34:56that we were poisoned by that bitch,
00:34:58witch, whatever.
00:35:00fished that out of the trash myself.
00:35:02The proof, gentlemen,
00:35:04is in the pudding.
00:35:06So they hid your little creeper cam on us.
00:35:10Then they took these laxatives and
00:35:11stuck them in our delicious chocolate pudding?
00:35:14You know, it was actually pretty funny.
00:35:16I mean...
00:35:16Yeah, it's probably on the web by now.
00:35:18If I know that, Lola, damn her.
00:35:20If she wants to declare war,
00:35:23then so be it.
00:35:24Dude, I doubt she put it on the internet.
00:35:27And, come on, man, you lighten up.
00:35:29Funny is funny.
00:35:30You hid the damn spy cam in the room
00:35:32when you starred this.
00:35:34Just the same.
00:35:35Look, we need to make them feel a lot guiltier about this.
00:35:39And maybe I can get guilt sex out of Maggie.
00:35:43Or, I mean, I'll even settle for a video
00:35:45that I can view on my own in my spare time.
00:35:48Or, I'll take even a single picture.
00:35:51I'm a pretty reasonable guy.
00:35:54Jenna!
00:35:59I'm so sorry.
00:36:01Yeah, not half as sorry as we all are.
00:36:04That was wicked.
00:36:06I had no idea they were gonna do it.
00:36:08Had I known, I would've warned you.
00:36:33Hey, this is Annie West.
00:36:35Sorry I can't take your call.
00:36:36Please leave me your info.
00:36:37I'll call you back.
00:36:38Ciao.
00:36:48You have to admit it was kind of funny.
00:36:50No.
00:36:51No, I don't have to.
00:36:53I'm sorry.
00:36:54You make great noises.
00:36:55Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:36:56Come on.
00:36:57Let's take a walk.
00:37:02And what are you three up to now?
00:37:07Well, to be honest, we all feel really bad about what happened.
00:37:12Especially Jenna, since we deliberately kept her out of it.
00:37:15So what we're up to is a sorry we gave you diarrhea makeup dinner.
00:37:19It's Thai food.
00:37:21Uh, the guys aren't gonna believe you.
00:37:24And I'm not sure if I believe you either after last night's little shit show.
00:37:27Please.
00:37:29Please.
00:37:29Please.
00:37:30Accept our apology.
00:37:36I accept your apology.
00:37:37Only speaking for myself though.
00:37:39The other guys, you're gonna have to work on yourselves.
00:37:42Okay.
00:37:43Alright.
00:37:49You know, there is something honest and sincere about that guy.
00:37:54Not to mention the movie star, Good Looks.
00:37:56It's a part of the package, I guess.
00:37:59Hey, Lola, I don't know what love is.
00:38:01Taking an interest in the opposite sex?
00:38:03All I said was that he's a nice guy and that's all there is to it.
00:38:07Mm-hmm.
00:38:08You know, I've been around long enough to know that when somebody says,
00:38:14and that's all there is to it, that's not all there is to it.
00:38:20Believe what you want.
00:38:21Nobody's stopping you.
00:38:23There it is.
00:38:25Lola likes Johnny.
00:38:27Lola likes Johnny.
00:38:28Lola likes Johnny.
00:38:29Stop.
00:38:29I don't want him to hear you.
00:38:31But you do like him.
00:38:32Do not.
00:38:33Do not.
00:38:34Do too.
00:38:35Do too.
00:38:36Liar, liar, hot little bikini thong pants on fire.
00:38:39Yeah.
00:38:41Well, he is kind of gorgeous.
00:38:44Okay.
00:38:47Here's what we're going to do.
00:38:48We're going to reel him in.
00:38:50Tonight, before we eat, you're going to go put on some notice me makeup,
00:38:53and I have a top of my bag that combined with your tits will knock his eyes out.
00:38:58Literally.
00:38:59All right.
00:39:00Can I trust you to behave while I'm gone?
00:39:03Of course.
00:39:04Okay then.
00:39:05See you a bit.
00:39:10What are you doing now?
00:39:12Nothing.
00:39:12Just another little secret ingredient.
00:39:15Just for the boys.
00:39:18What is it this time?
00:39:20Just a harmless gastro-erotic terrorism.
00:39:25Gastro-erotic?
00:39:26Mm-hmm.
00:39:28For someone who doesn't do it, you seem to have a purse full of party favors.
00:39:32Didn't we promise?
00:39:34Mm.
00:39:35You promised.
00:39:36Technicality.
00:39:41Dinner's ready.
00:39:45This smells really good, isn't it?
00:39:47Oh, no, Charlie.
00:39:48Um, actually, honey, that seat's taken.
00:39:52Well, I don't know we had a signed seating in that I had to make reservations.
00:39:56Charlie, could you please just come sit by me today?
00:40:12Johnny.
00:40:15Eartha Johnny!
00:40:16I'm sorry.
00:40:17I'm sorry.
00:40:18Mm-hmm.
00:40:19Mm-hmm.
00:40:20Mm-hmm.
00:40:20So what is it?
00:40:22It's an Asian fusion Muay Thai crop.
00:40:27Isn't that a mixed martial art?
00:40:30Very funny.
00:40:31So how do we know we can even trust you?
00:40:32Yeah.
00:40:33How do we know?
00:40:34I mean, it all came out all right last time, didn't it?
00:40:38Hey, as my father the doctor used to say, no poo-poo talk at dinner.
00:40:43Guys, guys, look.
00:40:45We're really, really sorry.
00:40:47Maggie spent all day in the kitchen today, working away so hard, preparing this authentic
00:40:52meal to get back into your good graces.
00:40:54So the least we can do...
00:40:55Just eat up.
00:40:58Oh.
00:41:00Here.
00:41:01Try the special sauce.
00:41:03It really helps bring out the flavor.
00:41:04So what's coming up for tonight?
00:41:07After we eat, we're going to go to an event that the party planners have lined up.
00:41:11They're having a ban, and we can check it out before our benefit party.
00:41:13All right.
00:41:14Let's go clubbing, posse.
00:41:21Okay.
00:41:22All right.
00:41:22Cool.
00:41:23So I've obviously never used that word ever in my life, nor will I ever use it again.
00:41:29I swear, I just...
00:41:34I'm sorry, guys.
00:41:36This is private party.
00:41:37You're not able to get inside.
00:41:39Have a good night, guys.
00:41:40Have a good night.
00:41:42Excuse me.
00:41:43Sorry.
00:41:43Sorry.
00:41:44Excuse me.
00:41:45Let me handle this, ladies.
00:41:46I don't think so.
00:41:47Hi.
00:41:48What's up?
00:41:49We're looking for the big guy.
00:41:50Oh, that would be me.
00:41:52How can I help you tonight, guys?
00:41:54You look familiar.
00:41:55Have we met?
00:41:56We're friends with Miss Maureen.
00:41:57You must be talking about my brother.
00:42:00Brother from another mother, huh?
00:42:03Sweet Maureen.
00:42:04Do you remember that song?
00:42:06I know.
00:42:06I think you're talking about Sweet Melissa.
00:42:10There's a difference, but you're...
00:42:12Listen to me.
00:42:13I know the difference.
00:42:15Do you want to make something out of it?
00:42:18I'm capturing this on video right now, so if you try to do...
00:42:21I don't care.
00:42:22So Maureen.
00:42:24Sweet Maureen.
00:42:25Sweet Maureen.
00:42:26Of course, guys.
00:42:27Everybody.
00:42:28You can go inside.
00:42:29Take a look around.
00:42:30You can help yourself.
00:42:32Enjoy your life.
00:42:34You can stay as long as you want.
00:42:35Everybody.
00:42:36All right.
00:42:37Everybody except him.
00:42:40Love me.
00:42:42Hate me.
00:42:44You imitate me.
00:42:48Paper guns and silver lightning.
00:42:51I can feel the tension heightening.
00:42:53If it feels right, it can be so frightening.
00:42:57You may hide away.
00:43:01I'll get away.
00:43:01This band is awesome.
00:43:02You are getting for a party.
00:43:04Sure.
00:43:05I will lead the way.
00:43:09For me.
00:43:11You'll forever be one.
00:43:15I am the new black.
00:43:18I'm ready to attack.
00:43:20The girl you came for.
00:43:22I'm gonna start a war.
00:43:24I am the new black.
00:43:26You better watch your back.
00:43:28You know you want more.
00:43:31I'm causing uproar.
00:43:34I'm gonna let you do it.
00:43:36I am.
00:43:36I am.
00:43:37I'm gonna let you do it.
00:43:38I'm gonna let you go.
00:43:40I am.
00:43:41You know why?
00:43:42What happened?
00:43:42Dude.
00:43:44What did you do?
00:43:47I can do it.
00:43:50What happened?
00:43:50That's right.
00:43:51Bye.
00:43:52Stacy.
00:43:52Don't go.
00:43:53What's wrong?
00:43:54I'll stay.
00:43:55Oh, boy.
00:43:57I'm so sorry.
00:43:58You're so sorry.
00:43:58Oh, nothing, honey.
00:43:59It's harmless.
00:43:59This will be fine in eight hours.
00:44:21I am not amused at all.
00:44:26Do you know what we just went through?
00:44:29Tell me about it.
00:44:30We were just hitchhiking on the side of the road with our rock-solid cocks out.
00:44:35Nobody would pick us up.
00:44:36Nobody except that weird old lady up the street from the assisted living place.
00:44:41Hi, boys. Oh, do you need a ride?
00:44:44Oh, yeah. Um, thanks for the offer, but it doesn't look like you have any room in there, so...
00:44:50Oh, no, no, no problem. We can sit on your laps.
00:44:54What?
00:44:55We can sit on all of your laps.
00:44:57Oh, my God. No.
00:44:59Whoa!
00:45:00Guys, get out of here.
00:45:01What the fuck?
00:45:02Crazy!
00:45:03Oh, Abel!
00:45:05Florid, Abel! Florid for the beach!
00:45:07We ran. We ran. We ran to the beach. We thought we got rid of them.
00:45:11Oh, boys, could you help me, please? I really can't see the rails with this light. Do you know the
00:45:18eyes?
00:45:18Oh, where'd you go?
00:45:20Whoa!
00:45:21Oh!
00:45:22Oh!
00:45:22Hey!
00:45:23This is a nice banister!
00:45:25Yeah!
00:45:26Oh!
00:45:27Oh!
00:45:27Not a royal lady! Not a rails!
00:45:30Oh!
00:45:31Help me!
00:45:32Don't take me now!
00:45:34Oh!
00:45:35Oh!
00:45:36Oh!
00:45:36Make sure she's safe, Charlie.
00:45:39Oh!
00:45:40Oh!
00:45:42Thanks for giving me a hand!
00:45:44Oh!
00:45:45That just...
00:45:46You're welcome.
00:45:47You're welcome.
00:45:48That just happened.
00:45:49Well, that's a sweet old lady, huh?
00:45:51Yeah!
00:45:52Yeah!
00:45:53Wish you didn't grab your dick, so shut the hell up!
00:45:59Are you gonna stay mad at me all night?
00:46:02Or are we gonna put this thing to good use?
00:46:06It's not very funny, though. She almost ripped our dicks off.
00:46:08I wasn't trying to be funny. I was trying to be practical.
00:46:12Practical.
00:46:13But if you don't wanna make love, then maybe we can use it as a hat rack?
00:46:18Mm-hmm.
00:46:20Horshoes?
00:46:21Maybe a little bit of ring toss?
00:46:23Enough with the dick jokes.
00:46:24Let's do it.
00:46:25Ah!
00:46:36Ah!
00:46:43Ah!
00:46:45Ah!
00:46:51Ah!
00:46:53Ah!
00:46:54Ah!
00:46:54Ah!
00:46:55Ah!
00:46:57Ah!
00:46:58Oh, my God.
00:46:59What's with all the racket?
00:47:00Hey, everybody!
00:47:01Good morning.
00:47:02Today, you are in for a special treat.
00:47:05I am making my famous smiley face whipped cream candied pancakes with hot maple syrup.
00:47:10Mmm.
00:47:10How big of a stack can you take?
00:47:12Oh.
00:47:12After last night's little dick experiment, or should I say big dick experiment, we're never
00:47:18eating anything you guys make ever again.
00:47:19Oh.
00:47:20Yeah, you poke fun at us for the last time.
00:47:23Ah.
00:47:24Fine.
00:47:25More for us.
00:47:27I don't know about you guys, but all that dancing last night really worked up my appetite.
00:47:32I'll take a double stack.
00:47:34Pancake me.
00:47:34Coming right up.
00:47:36Yeah, I'd hate to see all that food go to waste.
00:47:38I think I'll have a couple steps as well.
00:47:40Of course you will.
00:47:41I will.
00:47:42I'm gonna show you how to eat.
00:47:44We'll use the same plate.
00:47:45No.
00:47:46No, we will not.
00:47:47It's okay.
00:47:47Too late.
00:47:53Oh, darling.
00:47:55Was it something you ate, or...?
00:47:59Oh, God, I feel awful.
00:48:00Well, not to butt in, but...
00:48:03I'm assuming you're sexually active.
00:48:08It's not like I sleep around.
00:48:11Well, is your period late, or missing in action?
00:48:14I don't think it's...
00:48:15I just think you might want to try one of these.
00:48:25You know how to?
00:48:26I've never had to before, if that's what you're asking.
00:48:29Well, instructions are on the packet.
00:48:32Let me know if I can do anything.
00:48:41Oh, put your hands up.
00:48:44Oh, it's the party.
00:48:47Oh, in our American Beach House.
00:48:57If you're down for some Malibu heat, you beach girls, you're in for a treat.
00:49:04Live it up with my boys, in our American Beach House.
00:49:13Whoa, let me hear you sing.
00:49:15Whoa, let me hear you sing.
00:49:20Hey, this is Annie West.
00:49:22Sorry I can't take your call.
00:49:23Please leave me your info, and I'll call you back.
00:49:25Ciao.
00:49:33You going through something right now?
00:49:35You at a turning point?
00:49:37Hey.
00:49:38Goodbye, Joe.
00:49:38Bye, honey.
00:49:41Call me from Paris.
00:49:42Oh, I will.
00:49:43Promise?
00:49:43Yes.
00:49:44Okay, all right.
00:49:45Have a safe flight, honey.
00:49:46Bye-bye.
00:49:49Damn.
00:49:51I guess you can say I'm at a turning point.
00:49:55You must be Joe the lifeguard.
00:49:57Johnny, right?
00:49:58Yeah, how'd you know that?
00:49:59Nice to meet you.
00:50:00Oh, you know, I read up on all the winners.
00:50:03I like to know who's on my beach.
00:50:06So what's going on?
00:50:08Well, I'm not sure.
00:50:08I mean, everything's just happening so fast and more different than I would have ever expected.
00:50:14Well, then you're just like everybody else.
00:50:17Well, I mean, you're from around here.
00:50:19Did people just come up to you on the beach and, you know, give you a chance to get into
00:50:25movies and TV?
00:50:26Is it a guy or a girl?
00:50:28It was a guy.
00:50:30Did he touch your penis with any part of his body?
00:50:33Whoa, whoa, no, no, no, absolutely not.
00:50:34Okay, but I just wanted to get that out of the way.
00:50:36Well, that's good.
00:50:37Listen, I guess it happens, you know, sometimes.
00:50:42And if that business is something you're interested in, then I think you should go do it.
00:50:47Thank you, Joe.
00:50:48Hey, you're welcome.
00:50:49Hey, good luck with that.
00:50:51Let me know what happens.
00:50:53It wasn't supposed to be like this.
00:50:55And it happened so long ago, and he wasn't the one.
00:51:01Well, he must have been good for something.
00:51:07I don't think that's what we need right now.
00:51:09And the worst part is things were going so great with Vincent.
00:51:13He would have been that one in a million guy, and when I tell him, it'll ruin everything.
00:51:19Maybe don't tell him.
00:51:21You can make it, like, your little secret.
00:51:23I could never be that immoral and unethical.
00:51:26I could never do that to a guy that I care about.
00:51:29What are you going to do about the baby?
00:51:31I could never be that person either.
00:51:33I'm a modern girl, but...
00:51:35You don't have to justify yourself to anybody.
00:51:37Just do what's good for you.
00:51:40Maybe what you and Vincent have is strong enough.
00:51:43No, it's not.
00:51:44It's...
00:51:45I can't.
00:51:45I can't do it to him.
00:51:46I can't.
00:51:47I...
00:51:51I can't.
00:51:55What she needs is time.
00:52:13Hey, Johnny.
00:52:15Hey, Lola.
00:52:18Nice suit.
00:52:20So I'm about to get in the hot tub.
00:52:22Would you care to join me?
00:52:24I guess so.
00:52:27I don't want to twist your arm.
00:52:30I'm sorry.
00:52:31Don't take it the wrong way, but I guess...
00:52:33Not a lot of us are just having the greatest day.
00:52:35What have you heard?
00:52:38Nothing.
00:52:38I've heard nothing from nobody.
00:52:40That's the problem.
00:52:43So?
00:52:44Come on in.
00:52:45I don't usually go for the jock type, but...
00:52:48I think in your situation I'll make an exception.
00:52:51Well, aren't you a sweetheart?
00:52:53Yeah.
00:52:54You know, I'm not just some highly successful college athlete.
00:52:57You know, I have hopes and feelings and dreams, too.
00:53:00And even a degree.
00:53:01What exactly did you study?
00:53:03Well, I was a phys ed major, and then one day I had a...
00:53:06Moment of clarity, you could say, as I was walking by the theater building.
00:53:13Changed it around a little bit.
00:53:17Well, I thought you didn't go for the hunk type.
00:53:21Like I said, I'm willing to make an exception.
00:53:27You didn't put anything in the water, did you?
00:53:29I mean, after the last couple times, I gotta ask.
00:53:31Nope, just me.
00:53:35Alright then.
00:53:41Let's go.
00:53:42So, a horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, why the long face?
00:53:48Get it?
00:53:49No, I guess I needed that.
00:53:51I guess I'm just at a crossroads right now, and where I'm from, it's flatland as far as the eye
00:53:56can see in every direction.
00:53:57I've never even seen the ocean before until a week ago.
00:54:01And now I'm swimming in it, and just a few days ago, a complete stranger walked up to me and
00:54:07gave me a chance to live my dreams.
00:54:09And how often does that happen?
00:54:11Of course, he hasn't called or done shit since then, but I can already see that it's a much bigger
00:54:16world than I ever thought.
00:54:19And I have more choices than I ever imagined.
00:54:21I think I'm gonna move here.
00:54:23You're impulsive, wouldn't you say?
00:54:25Maybe, but I don't got anything telling me down back home, and I'm already here now.
00:54:45I don't know what to say.
00:54:48You don't say anything if you don't want to.
00:54:55Oh!
00:54:57So sexy.
00:55:06Look at me now.
00:55:08Look at me now.
00:55:08Look at me now.
00:55:18Jenna?
00:55:21Hey, Jenna?
00:55:25Shoot.
00:55:25You made yourself hard to find.
00:55:28And you found me anyway.
00:55:30What does that say?
00:55:34It says a lot, actually.
00:55:39Look, I have kind of been avoiding you, and we do need to talk.
00:55:46This is all moving way too fast for me, and I can't...
00:55:52I, I, I need, it needs to stop. I can't...
00:55:59Okay.
00:56:04We're, we're moving too fast.
00:56:06I mean, okay, so we, so we slow down. I mean, I'm okay with that. We can just...
00:56:10No, no, no, no, you're not understanding me. I don't want to slow it down. I need...
00:56:15I think I made a huge mistake, and I need to break it off.
00:56:22I...
00:56:23In fact, I don't think I'm gonna be here tomorrow. I'm leaving.
00:56:26What?
00:56:29You can't leave.
00:56:31If you leave it, it's over for us.
00:56:34It's over for everybody. Everybody in the house. Do you really want to do that?
00:56:38I mean, you can't be serious.
00:56:40We've got a great thing going, you and I.
00:56:42Right?
00:56:43I can't.
00:56:50I'll build my world around you.
00:56:54I can't just let you walk out of my life, no?
00:56:57Goodbye, Vincent.
00:56:59I hope I never see your face again.
00:57:03I know, I know where I'm not wanted. I'm still leaving.
00:57:07No, you stay.
00:57:09Okay.
00:57:10I'm gonna go.
00:57:31You know, you're not so sicker at Myrus back again.
00:57:34Yeah, I know.
00:57:36It's kinda cute.
00:57:39It's kinda cute.
00:57:44Can't you release a little charm by his show of affection?
00:57:47What do you want me to do? Give him a pity BJ just because he's holding a candle?
00:57:50No one's ever held a candle for me before.
00:57:53Well, if you think it's so sweet, why don't you go give him a pity blow job for the both
00:57:57of us?
00:57:59However, if I did do it, it would be the blow job he'd jack off to for the rest of
00:58:04his life.
00:58:05I would be on his mental wall of shame the nasty girl who swallowed his whole load of the crazy
00:58:13beach house
00:58:15He remember me forever
00:58:17Sorry Charlie
00:58:19Not gonna happen
00:58:26Hi
00:58:30I'll be back later
00:58:34I plan to
00:58:39Hi, what are you doing here? I came to pick you up. We'll go to the beach. I mean, yeah,
00:58:46okay, let's go
00:59:16Hey, pop the chair could you use a beer? Yeah, please and thank you
00:59:33So what's happening?
00:59:42You know Jenna's thinking about leaving tomorrow any idea why
00:59:47No, but what's the deal man? I mean, I can get lowly to go talk to her but what's going
00:59:54on?
00:59:56Jenna you want to come down from up there?
01:00:02Look we both know that you're being up there isn't gonna solve anything in your life
01:00:07So come down or I'm coming up
01:00:11You're a really nice lady and
01:00:14I appreciate you coming all the way out here in the dark where I didn't think anyone would find me
01:00:19For the second time this week
01:00:22But just because you did find me doesn't mean that you know me
01:00:28You don't know me at all
01:00:30And you don't know anything
01:00:32About what my life has been like
01:00:34All right, that's it. I'm coming up
01:00:38Look I know you well enough to know that you love children and you wouldn't do anything to endanger a
01:00:44child's life
01:00:49I was just thinking things over
01:00:53I broke it off with Vincent
01:00:56And I don't think you're gonna like it but I don't think that I can stay here any longer
01:01:05I don't know how much more fun I can take
01:01:10It happens
01:01:12And hey, you don't have to make any decisions tonight
01:01:16Why don't you sleep on it?
01:01:25Look who it is
01:01:29May I?
01:01:30Yeah, sure
01:01:35To love
01:01:35Hey, fuck you
01:01:39What happened to you guys? I thought you guys were on top of the world. What happened?
01:01:58Why the hell you do that? Can I get another brother?
01:02:01Yeah, if you really want one
01:02:07Trooper
01:02:17He's killing it
01:02:18Wow!
01:02:20Have you seen this shit before? I've never seen anything like that before
01:02:29Dude, what? Why are you doing that?
01:02:32Doing what?
01:02:33Drinking like that
01:02:36I hate beer
01:02:38I hate the taste of it
01:02:40I hate the smell of it
01:02:43I hate the texture
01:02:45It's the only way I can keep it down
01:02:47It's a place trick I learned at a college fraternity
01:02:52Huh
01:02:53A trick that you learned
01:02:56At a fraternity
01:02:57You don't even look like a frat guy at all
01:03:00Turns out I wasn't
01:03:02I put up with their nonsense and they uh
01:03:06They blackballed me on the first round
01:03:08Said I didn't fit the mold
01:03:11The only thing I did get out of those guys was that stupid trick
01:03:15And a different sense of who I was
01:03:19And wasn't
01:03:20Well, let's change that
01:03:22New business
01:03:24This
01:03:25This meeting of the Brotherhood is now in session
01:03:27I nominate Charlie as the new president
01:03:29All in favor, say aye
01:03:31Aye
01:03:31Aye
01:03:34It's unanimous
01:03:36Charlie is the new president of the Brotherhood
01:03:38Woo! Speech! Speech! Speech!
01:03:42Beverage first
01:03:43And then speech
01:03:59I would like to thank the Brotherhood
01:04:04For recognizing my leadership potential
01:04:09I also want to say that this honor
01:04:13May be the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me
01:04:17To Brotherhood
01:04:19Brotherhood
01:04:24Shit, do you think he's alright?
01:04:26Yeah, I think the grass cushioned his ball
01:04:28No, that's...
01:04:29That's probably the best he's ever been
01:04:34No
01:04:51Well, that's a nice gesture
01:04:54Oh, my God, this fucker's heavy
01:04:55You know what, dude?
01:04:57You're a pretty decent guy
01:04:59The Brotherhood never leaves a man behind
01:05:01Alright, Charlie
01:05:03Time for bed
01:05:10Today's a big day
01:05:11And tonight's the big night
01:05:14Party!
01:05:15What? What?
01:05:17Oh, later, after yoga
01:05:19We need to go make sure everything's going smoothly
01:05:21For the benefit party
01:05:22And I want to call the vet and check on little Stanley
01:05:25Actually, today we have a bigger problem than that
01:05:27Jenna has broken things off with Vincent
01:05:31OMG, but they're so good together!
01:05:34Last night at the beach, she was talking about going home early
01:05:37And if she leaves the beach house, then you all have to go home
01:05:41We can't let her leave like this
01:05:42It ruins it for her and for the rest of us
01:05:44I can't stop her
01:05:46Only you guys can
01:05:47And you might not have a lot of time
01:05:54I know your mind's already made up on this, but can we talk?
01:05:58I have made up my mind
01:05:59I don't think there's much you can say to make me change it
01:06:03Well, that's what friends are for
01:06:07You and Vincent made such a powerful connection
01:06:09Don't you think you at least owe it to them to tell the truth?
01:06:12I don't know
01:06:13I love him so much, but I can't do that to him
01:06:18He's got his whole life planned out
01:06:21It's not fair
01:06:23You have to admit, so much has already happened this week
01:06:26So many good things
01:06:28And we don't want to lose that
01:06:29We don't want to lose you
01:06:31We're just trying to keep you from making what could be the biggest mistake of your life
01:06:35In case you missed it, it's kind of already happened
01:06:38I mean, this is me trying to deal with the consequences of it all
01:06:43There's not always one right answer
01:06:46Sit down
01:06:48I'll make you some tea
01:07:21You don't make a decision that's going to affect the rest of your life in the heat of the moment
01:07:27Every decision we make sets into motion a powerful chain of events
01:07:32Everything you've ever done
01:07:33And a lot of what you will do is based on these decisions
01:07:38And all of them lead to different possible outcomes
01:07:42So I need to choose
01:07:44You don't just have to choose, you have to choose wisely
01:07:48What do you think you would do if you told him?
01:07:50What? Like, hey, lover, I'm pregnant
01:07:52It's not yours
01:07:54Still want to get married and live the rest of our lives together?
01:07:57I can't do that to him
01:07:58He made a commitment to you
01:08:01Doesn't he even deserve a chance to be a part of that?
01:08:05Morning
01:08:06I hope I'm not interrupting
01:08:08No, we're just
01:08:11Nice PJs
01:08:12Thanks, I guess
01:08:15Look, I've got to be honest
01:08:18I was standing in the hall
01:08:20Were you spying on us again?
01:08:22No, no, no, I didn't mean to
01:08:23I just, I got up to take a big piss
01:08:25W-T-M-I-A
01:08:27W-T-M
01:08:29Way too much information, again
01:08:31And?
01:08:34Well, I heard it all
01:08:37I guess
01:08:38Well, then come here
01:08:39You're just going to have to be one of the girls
01:08:41And we'll swear you to secrecy
01:08:45I'm okay with the secrecy, but
01:08:47Do I need to be one of the girls?
01:08:49Yes, it's a sisterhood
01:08:51Swear it
01:08:52So, I'm a brother and a sister?
01:08:55Just promise you won't say anything to anyone
01:08:58I promise
01:09:01Okay, now go pee
01:09:12Mind if I join you?
01:09:14Please
01:09:23So, what brings you all the way out here?
01:09:25I come out here everyday if I can
01:09:28There's something just so magical about the ocean
01:09:31If you let yourself feel it, it can heal you
01:09:36I'm trying to decide what I feel
01:09:40I'm proud of you, you know
01:09:43I'm just trying to do the right thing
01:09:46You didn't have to tell us you were there
01:09:48I thought about not doing the right thing, but
01:09:51I couldn't
01:09:52You remind me a lot of someone I used to know
01:09:57Who was it?
01:10:00My guy
01:10:02So, where is he?
01:10:05He was a career soldier, an officer
01:10:08He didn't make it back from Afghanistan
01:10:11I'm so sorry
01:10:14You know, I loved him because he stood up for what he believed in
01:10:19I see a little bit of that in you
01:10:22You know, you're a good guy Charlie
01:10:25He didn't deserve to be treated the way Maggie treated you
01:10:28It's confusing because
01:10:30I wanted her
01:10:32And now, I feel sorry for her
01:10:35You know
01:10:38I guess for her anyway
01:10:41I'm not the one
01:10:43Well, maybe you are the one
01:10:45Just like you said, not for her
01:10:56Do you want to finish what you were thinking about that first night at the hot tub?
01:11:05Does she want me to jerk off on the drapes?
01:11:17Yes
01:11:18Oh, yeah
01:11:21Sometimes you gotta
01:11:23Jump into it
01:11:26Sometimes you gotta take a chance
01:11:29Sometimes you gotta
01:11:32Take a leap of faith
01:11:34Might just be worth it
01:11:37I'll take you there
01:11:40I'll take you there
01:11:41And you won't find
01:11:42What you're looking for
01:11:46I'll take you there
01:11:48I'll take you there
01:11:51Maybe you'll see
01:11:53You're walking to the sunset before
01:11:56I'll take you there
01:12:12Look, you are an amazing person and you have no idea what he's gonna say
01:12:16Don't you think you should give him a chance?
01:12:18You don't know how hard it can be
01:12:21I mean
01:12:22I mean
01:12:22My parents never got married
01:12:25I was a so-called love child
01:12:26But there was never any love around in my early life
01:12:28They didn't stay together
01:12:30I don't even think I saw my dad any time after I was five
01:12:34I guess you can say I'm a little sensitive
01:12:37Wow
01:12:40I had no idea
01:12:41Yeah
01:12:42It's not like I walk around with a sign around my neck
01:12:45Well
01:12:47Unless you read through the lines
01:12:49And then the sign says
01:12:52Beautiful, intelligent, caring woman
01:12:54With a painful childhood
01:12:57Spends her life
01:12:58Taking care of other people's
01:13:01Issue kids
01:13:02Hoping that the man of her dreams will walk through the door
01:13:05And when he does
01:13:06And it's not exactly perfect
01:13:09She throws it all away
01:13:10And chickens out on her own happiness
01:13:19Nice moves
01:13:20Oh, thanks
01:13:21You should take those on so you think he can dance
01:13:22You think?
01:13:25And what would you do?
01:13:27If it's never really been there, never really done that
01:13:29Just drag him to the altar
01:13:30Try to convince him that it's his
01:13:35Yeah, probably
01:13:36Sounds like me
01:13:38The woman I've come to know
01:13:40Would want to give her baby a chance that she didn't quite get
01:13:43Two people, two parents who love her and care for her
01:13:47And would want to raise a family with her
01:13:49I mean, don't you think you at least owe it to him to tell him the truth
01:13:52And let him make that decision on his own?
01:13:54I feel like that's what you'd want someone to do for you
01:14:02Thank you everybody for coming tonight
01:14:04We're Nylon Pink
01:14:05Would we please have Lola and Maggie come join us on stage?
01:14:21Hi guys
01:14:22Hi everybody, what's up?
01:14:26Hi everybody, what's up?
01:14:27Hi
01:14:28Welcome to the Heal Arsenal Benefit Party
01:14:31Thank you all so much for coming for a great cause
01:14:36Also, I'd like to welcome Miss Maureen, who knows everyone
01:14:43Also, I'd like to thank Big Guy and the staff and crew here at the party
01:14:50They are awesome
01:14:52Everyone, please welcome
01:14:54Humanitarian and Veterinarian
01:14:56The man who is actually healing our seal, Dr. Spencer
01:15:03Thanks guys, unfortunately Stan Lee couldn't make it tonight
01:15:07But he did send this as a token of his appreciation
01:15:14Alright, everyone enjoy your night
01:15:17The band is Nylon Pink
01:15:18Let's get it on
01:15:25We'll be right back
01:15:37We'll be right back
01:15:37We'll be right back
01:15:37Johnny, Johnny, I've been looking everywhere for you
01:15:39Where have you been the past three days?
01:15:41You could have just called me back
01:15:42No, bro, I couldn't
01:15:43My phone fell in the toilet
01:15:44I left all my contacts
01:15:46On the phone with the company, it was a nightmare, man
01:15:48But I'm seriously so glad I ran into you
01:15:51Uh, Charlie, this is Andy West
01:15:53Andy West, Charlie
01:15:54Yeah, Charlie, Andy West Coast, man
01:15:55Nice to meet you
01:15:59Alright
01:16:00Johnny, seriously man, I'm glad I ran into you
01:16:02Remember how I had you wear that white shirt?
01:16:04Yeah
01:16:04Well, I had my photographer come
01:16:05Took some pictures of you
01:16:08They were great
01:16:09I got you an audition, man
01:16:11Well, that's amazing
01:16:12How do I get in touch with you?
01:16:14No, we're gonna make it easy
01:16:14I'm gonna get in touch with you, alright?
01:16:16And because of the great reunion cook-up
01:16:19You've gotta dance with me
01:16:21One time
01:16:24Excuse me, big guy
01:16:26Um, the lady's with me tonight
01:16:29Every song, all night long
01:16:32Right, Miss Maureen?
01:16:34Is it true, Maureen?
01:16:38Well, you know I'll always hold a special place for you
01:16:41But, I am with this guy tonight
01:16:44So if he says every song all night long
01:16:46Then that's it
01:16:48Well
01:16:52Good for you, my little buddy
01:16:55Give me a pie
01:16:57Enjoy your night
01:16:59See you later
01:16:59Look, just do me a favor
01:17:01Have a fun time
01:17:02I need you there tomorrow afternoon
01:17:04Tomorrow afternoon
01:17:04I'll be there
01:17:05Yeah, man
01:17:06No joke, no joke
01:17:07Look, I don't wanna ruin your buzz, alright?
01:17:08You gotta have a great party
01:17:10I'll run into you in just a little bit, alright?
01:17:11It's gonna be a good night, man
01:17:12Alright, man
01:17:17Take care
01:17:28Guys, we really had to go in there for a while
01:17:32Yeah, we did
01:17:33Hey, sorry we're late
01:17:34We just had a few things that we had to sort through, I guess
01:17:40But, uh, great party
01:17:41I mean, it's perfect time for a little announcement
01:17:46We're engaged
01:17:47Yeah!
01:17:48Oh, nice!
01:17:51Oh!
01:17:52F-F-F-F-G!
01:17:54Oh my fucking god, it's so amazing!
01:17:58I'm so happy with you!
01:18:00Oh my fucking...
01:18:43I'm so happy with you!
01:18:44I'm so happy with you!
01:19:08Here we go!
01:19:26My lipstick looks cute on you.
01:19:31I like your laugh.
01:19:32You know, besides you being all gorgeous and all,
01:19:37just drop-dead beautiful and just...
01:19:48I love you.
01:22:46Sorry I'm a man now.
01:22:47Baby, let's live our dreams tonight.
01:22:50Let's live our dreams tonight.
01:22:54Let's live our dreams tonight.
01:22:58Hold me tight.
01:22:59Don't let me go.
01:23:01It's the only way to grow.
01:23:05When it comes through love, it's just a feeling, so let it glow.
01:23:11It's not as easy as it looks.
01:23:15And they don't teach you the lesson books.
01:23:27Do people just come up to you on the beach and give you a chance to go to get into
01:23:33movies and TV?
01:23:34I mean, does that happen?
01:23:36Sometimes, I guess.
01:23:38Was it a guy or a girl?
01:23:40It was a...
01:23:41I mean, it was a guy.
01:23:42Did it look like that?
01:23:43They're growing.
01:23:44They're growing.
01:23:46So you were at a turning point.
01:23:48I can tell.
01:23:53You think that's funny?
01:23:54Let's live our dreams tonight.
01:23:57Let's live our dreams tonight.
01:23:58Yeah.
01:23:59Yeah, I'm at a...
01:24:00I'm at a turning point right now.
01:24:02Let's live our dreams tonight.
01:24:03Me too.
01:24:06That guy touched your wiener?
01:24:10With any part of his body?
01:24:12Okay.
01:24:14Okay.
01:24:15I see there's a lot of girls on TV from Malibu.
01:24:18I can't wait.
01:24:20I better make more storage space in this phone.
01:24:24Yeah, Mom.
01:24:26No, no, no, no.
01:24:27No, I'm gonna take pictures of birds.
01:24:32And squirrels.
01:24:34Not to say girls.
01:24:35I said squirrels.
01:24:36Yeah.
01:24:38Mom.
01:24:39No.
01:24:41No, I said, why did Dad call me stupid?
01:24:45He said you're stupid and I'm stupid because I came out of you.
01:24:49I just want a trip to Malibu and I'm gone for seven days.
01:24:52I'm glad.
01:24:53Can I come back, though, after seven days?
01:24:55I...
01:24:55No, I doubt I'll meet anybody to move in with.
01:24:59Come on.
01:25:00It's...
01:25:01I know.
01:25:02I am stupid.
01:25:04No, you're not.
01:25:06You are stupid.
01:25:08You are stupid.
01:25:09I'm stupid.
01:25:10Well, no.
01:25:11If I didn't have that restraining order, I'd have a job by now.
01:25:14Wouldn't I?
01:25:15Well, you shouldn't have ratted on me.
01:25:17Now, why did you do that?
01:25:19No.
01:25:21You're stupid.
01:25:22Mom, this is supposed to be a happy moment for me.
01:25:24You're ruining it.
01:25:26You're ruining it.
01:25:27Just like you said I ruined your life.
01:25:29You're ruining it for me.
01:25:32I would.
01:25:33If I could, I would marry a hooker.
01:25:36And I'd bring her over.
01:25:38And show grandma, too.
01:25:40She's even dumber.
01:25:42I'm sorry.
01:25:43I didn't mean to say that.
01:25:45You just make me say things that I don't mean.
01:25:48I mean, I do mean them, but not in the context that I'm saying that.
01:25:53You know what?
01:25:54I'm going to make a suicide video, Mom.
01:25:57Hi, guys.
01:26:02I know you may think this is a joke, but no.
01:26:07I'm leaving, and I might not come back.
01:26:10We'll set seven days, but if I find a better place to stay, I'll stay there.
01:26:15It might be hell.
01:26:16Oh, yeah.
01:26:17No, you know what?
01:26:18I'm already living in hell, Mom.
01:26:20With you!
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