- 1 week ago
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00:00:08Swing, oh, swing, come on and swing, come on and swing,
00:00:41come on and swing, come on and swing.
00:00:58¶¶
00:01:27¶¶
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00:02:21¶¶
00:02:22Los Angeles, California, a land of enchantment.
00:02:27Los Angeles freeway system, of course, is world famous.
00:02:31I find them absolutely smashing.
00:02:35¶¶
00:02:37I repeat, absolutely smashing.
00:02:43¶¶
00:02:44And that, of course, is the City Hall,
00:02:46housing the busy offices of municipal government,
00:02:49where hard-working, dedicated civil servants
00:02:52grapple with the problems of a growing community.
00:02:55Charlie, stop that!
00:02:57Oh, that tickles!
00:03:00Arms outstretched to the weary traveller,
00:03:04LA is known as the Friendly City,
00:03:07always welcoming its guests into her generous bosom.
00:03:12This area is truly the shopping centre of the world.
00:03:17Our citizens are avid readers,
00:03:20a labyrinth of learning.
00:03:23Educational institutes abound to bring erudition, knowledge and culture.
00:03:31Los Angeles is noted for its epicurean splendour.
00:03:37To please the most selective gourmet.
00:03:42Excuse me.
00:03:44Los Angeles, California, the movie capital of the world.
00:03:48Only here are we allowed to witness the great classics
00:03:52in their purest cinematic art form.
00:03:56Always cultural, always educational.
00:04:01A land of enchantment.
00:04:03The seat of solid government.
00:04:05The citadel of culture, a labyrinth of learning.
00:04:09The citadel of knowledge, always onward to bring erudition,
00:04:13information, skill and culture.
00:04:17Always cultural, always educational.
00:04:22Ah!
00:04:23Oh!
00:04:24Here I am now, Sir Hubert here, arriving at my place of worship.
00:04:28Oops!
00:04:29Oh!
00:04:30Capital idea of mine to have opened an office on the west coast.
00:04:34Gold lure magazine.
00:04:35Owner and publisher.
00:04:37Yes.
00:04:38Sex is bound to become as big a thing out here as it is in New York.
00:04:42After all, they're catching up on everything.
00:04:45I know, I know.
00:04:46It's been said that Sir Hubert here has a dirty mind.
00:04:50Well, I just can't help it.
00:04:51Oop!
00:04:53Oop!
00:04:54Oop!
00:04:55Oop!
00:05:00You're welcome, madam.
00:05:02We are now entering the veritable nerve center of my operations.
00:05:07From here radiates Sir Hubert's contribution.
00:05:11Oh, absolutely charming.
00:05:14Charming!
00:05:15Hmm.
00:05:17Boom-ba-dum-boom!
00:05:18Ooh!
00:05:19I say I do love my work.
00:05:21Whoops!
00:05:22Good morning!
00:05:23Boom-boom-boom-boom-boom-boom-boom-boom-boom-boom-boom-boom-boom-boom.
00:05:25This, of course, is my sanctum sanctorum.
00:05:28And Sir Hubert here is ready for another day of toil.
00:05:31Ah!
00:05:31Ha-ha, my senior editor's office, Richard Colby.
00:05:34Just in from New York to supervise a layout for our year-end edition.
00:05:38Whoops!
00:05:39Hmm.
00:05:40That's my daughter, Karen.
00:05:42No, the one on the left.
00:05:46Oh.
00:05:47Oh, good morning, Father.
00:05:49Morning, Sir Hubert.
00:05:51Oh, uh, I've got the Four Seasons layout.
00:05:53Thought you might want to look at the dummy.
00:05:55Rather.
00:05:56I like it.
00:05:57Less obvious than what we've been doing.
00:05:58A little more tasteful.
00:06:00And a bit tame, don't you think?
00:06:01No, I don't think so.
00:06:02Sir Hubert, we still have to get it through the mails.
00:06:05You know, even for a girly magazine, there's such a thing as good taste.
00:06:08My dear fella, one seldom gets rich from being wholesome, you know.
00:06:11Well, you've got the touch, Sir Hubert.
00:06:13You're one of the most unholdsome men around.
00:06:15Ha-ha.
00:06:16Oh, thanks very much.
00:06:17That's very kind of you.
00:06:17But I can't take all the credit.
00:06:19It's the English in me, you know.
00:06:20Yes, we've just had years and years to cultivate our depravity.
00:06:25I'm afraid it'll be decades before you Americans catch up.
00:06:27And with your help, I'm sure we'll make it so.
00:06:29Oh, do you really think so?
00:06:30Thanks, ma'am.
00:06:30Yes, that's quite all right.
00:06:33Yes?
00:06:33Your Aunt Cora's on four.
00:06:35Right.
00:06:36Aunt Cora!
00:06:37Dicky!
00:06:38You naughty boy!
00:06:39Why didn't you come out and stay with me?
00:06:41I'm sorry, Aunt Cora.
00:06:42Too much to do in town.
00:06:43Listen, I'd like you to come in and have lunch with me.
00:06:46I'm with Sir Hubert now.
00:06:47That old bag of dirt.
00:06:50Aunt Cora says hello.
00:06:51Thanks very much.
00:06:52Charming lady.
00:06:54Fine.
00:06:55One o'clock.
00:06:56I'm anxious for you and Karen to get better acquainted.
00:06:58She's a wonderful...
00:06:59Oh, come off it, Dicky.
00:07:00I know you just like her because she's fancy in the feathers.
00:07:04We'll call you later, Aunt Cora.
00:07:06Yeah.
00:07:06Bye.
00:07:07Oh, poor dear.
00:07:08She doesn't hear too well on the phone.
00:07:10I say, my dear fella, now what about this layout, what?
00:07:13I will not stand around while you two start arguing policy.
00:07:16Nothing to argue.
00:07:17It's already in the works, Sir Hubert.
00:07:18I gave it the go-ahead.
00:07:19Oh.
00:07:20Come on.
00:07:26Heaven's sake, darling.
00:07:27Remember, it's dressed.
00:07:29Oh, and don't be late.
00:07:30Phil and Dorothy are flying all the way down from Carmel, just to meet you.
00:07:34Right.
00:07:34Excuse me.
00:07:35I'd like to see you.
00:07:36Yes, I know Mr. Colby.
00:07:37He's busy.
00:07:39Hello.
00:07:40Mr. Colby.
00:07:41Oh, good morning, girls.
00:07:42I'll be with you as soon as I can.
00:07:43Just one moment.
00:07:44Mr. Colby.
00:07:45Ready for you in the gallery.
00:07:46Oh, thanks, Tim.
00:07:47Mr. Colby.
00:07:47Excuse me.
00:07:48My name's Kelly Olsen, SSO-N, and I've been sending you all the time.
00:07:50I see my things in here to West Coast.
00:07:52Now, hold your chin up, will you?
00:07:54Uh-huh.
00:07:58Now, turn around, will you?
00:07:59Oh, but...
00:08:00Turn around.
00:08:00Turn around.
00:08:01That's it.
00:08:01Now, stay right there.
00:08:03No.
00:08:03No, stay right there.
00:08:04No, you don't...
00:08:05Now, hold it.
00:08:06Just one moment.
00:08:06Just one moment.
00:08:10Yeah.
00:08:12Let's test her out for spring.
00:08:14Oh, no.
00:08:15No, you don't understand.
00:08:16I'm...
00:08:16Wait a minute.
00:08:17You're a very lucky girl.
00:08:18Mr. Colby has a great eye.
00:08:19Hi.
00:08:20Good morning, Colin.
00:08:21Is that the set-up?
00:08:22No.
00:08:23No, that's not right.
00:08:24I'll tell you about...
00:08:24Raise this a little higher.
00:08:26No, get a down shot on that.
00:08:28Okay, miss.
00:08:29You can take them off.
00:08:30In there.
00:08:30Miss Olsen, we're going to photograph you on this wing.
00:08:33And wear this.
00:08:34Here.
00:08:34Go on.
00:08:35Put it on.
00:08:35In there.
00:08:40Now, don't worry.
00:08:42If too much shows, we can always retouch the photograph.
00:08:44Tim, take these photos.
00:08:46I'll look at them later with the prints.
00:08:47No, they're not photographs.
00:08:48That's what I'm trying to explain to you.
00:08:50I don't take them off.
00:08:52I'm not a model.
00:08:53I'm a writer.
00:08:54What?
00:08:55Yeah.
00:08:56Oh, there's stories.
00:08:58Kelly.
00:08:59What are you doing here?
00:09:00Come on, Mr. Colby.
00:09:01Well, that's what I'm trying to explain.
00:09:03I came in to show him my stories, and the next thing I know, he's taking my clothes off.
00:09:08I'm sorry, Mr. Colby.
00:09:10She's sort of an excitable girl.
00:09:12Come on, Kelly.
00:09:12Get out of here.
00:09:13Wait a minute.
00:09:14Let's have it all over again.
00:09:16Slowly.
00:09:16Yes, Mr. Colby.
00:09:18Certainly.
00:09:18I'm a writer.
00:09:19And I've been sending my stories to your West Coast assistant, Mr. Jenkins.
00:09:22And he's turned them all down, as of every other magazine I've submitted to.
00:09:27But I'm sure that if you read them yourself, you will find them fresh, imaginative, and
00:09:31well worth publishing.
00:09:36Well, how are the stories?
00:09:38They're not girl lure, Mr. Colby.
00:09:41More ladies' home journal.
00:09:43I see.
00:09:46The offer to model, it still stands.
00:09:48You know, there's good money in it if you just-
00:09:50I am not a nudie.
00:09:52I'm a writer.
00:09:54Okay.
00:09:55Tim, let's look for another girl.
00:09:57I'll get started with-
00:09:57But what about my stories?
00:09:59Sorry, you heard, Mr. Jenkins.
00:10:00Not for us.
00:10:01Too innocent.
00:10:02Well, that's just it.
00:10:03Does everything have to be dirty?
00:10:05You know, Mr. Colby, there is more to people than just sex glands.
00:10:07Kelly.
00:10:08Has any one of you stories ever won an O'Henry Award?
00:10:10None.
00:10:11Have they?
00:10:12No.
00:10:13Ah, that's what I thought.
00:10:14Or any other literary prize for that matter.
00:10:17Miss Hulson, where are you from?
00:10:19St. Paul.
00:10:20Parents there?
00:10:20Boyfriend planning a way at your absence?
00:10:22Go home, get married, write for the church papers.
00:10:25Oof, I hear that one more time.
00:10:26Come on, Billy.
00:10:27I'm gonna send them to Playboy, Esquire.
00:10:29You're gonna be very sorry, Mr. Colby, when I'm a famous author.
00:10:31This is your last chance, your very last.
00:10:33And final chance.
00:10:34Too bad.
00:10:36I'd like to see her on that swing.
00:10:39Too innocent.
00:10:40Go home, get married.
00:10:42The only thing he left out was have babies.
00:10:44You know, you're troubled.
00:10:46You're nuts!
00:10:47You think life is one great big ball.
00:10:49Everybody in it wears a funny face.
00:10:51I know.
00:10:53I'm gonna go in there and see his boss.
00:10:56Sir Hubert?
00:11:00Yes.
00:11:01No.
00:11:02Yes.
00:11:03No.
00:11:03Kill it!
00:11:12I say!
00:11:13Knock, girl!
00:11:14Knock!
00:11:15Sorry.
00:11:20That's it.
00:11:21That's it.
00:11:22That is it.
00:11:22That's what?
00:11:23That's girl lore.
00:11:24And so is that.
00:11:25And that.
00:11:27And that.
00:11:28And that.
00:11:28Sex, flesh, hanky-panky.
00:11:30That's what they want.
00:11:31You know, like those lured paperbacks on the newsstand.
00:11:35Paperbacks.
00:11:36I got it, Sammy.
00:11:38I got it.
00:11:39I know how to get published.
00:11:45They want sex?
00:11:46They'll get it.
00:11:48I'll take the best of the paperbacks.
00:11:50No, I mean the worst.
00:12:06Hi, Kelly.
00:12:07Where have you been?
00:12:08Shopping.
00:12:14Hey, looks like you're gonna do some reading, hey?
00:12:16Mm-mm.
00:12:16Writing.
00:12:27Baby, don't want me round no more.
00:12:29Round no more.
00:12:30Round no more.
00:12:31Round no more.
00:12:31She's got her way up close and door.
00:12:33Up close and door.
00:12:34Close and door.
00:12:34Close and door.
00:12:35Where have you been?
00:12:36Come on.
00:12:36Everybody's here.
00:12:37Sorry, Eddie.
00:12:38Could you please take these to my room?
00:12:39Sure, Kelly.
00:12:44Rowan, virgin.
00:12:49They gotta be kidding.
00:12:50Yeah, darling.
00:12:53I gotta be kidding.
00:13:04I'm sorry, Eddie.
00:13:05I can't today.
00:13:07Warren.
00:13:10Warren.
00:13:11Oh, hi, Carol.
00:13:13Jungle mating rhythms.
00:13:14Kinda grabs you, doesn't it?
00:13:15It's great, Warren.
00:13:16Look, I need my roller back.
00:13:18Oh, sure, sure.
00:13:19I'm going to buy the new book.
00:13:21Crazy. Look.
00:13:22What are you protesting now?
00:13:24I don't know. Something will come up.
00:13:27Here.
00:13:29Thanks. Cool.
00:14:01Sergeant Hooker.
00:14:02Hi, Kelly.
00:14:03Hi. I was wondering if I could borrow some pencils,
00:14:05the things I'm going to do in the book.
00:14:07Oh, help yourself. Right over there.
00:14:09Okay.
00:14:11Pretty.
00:14:12Still stuck in my Van Gogh period.
00:14:15Just can't shake it.
00:14:17Take some more, honey.
00:14:18I can fill it up.
00:14:19That's all I need from the department.
00:14:21You know something, Sergeant Hooker?
00:14:22You are the very nicest man on the whole Los Angeles Vice Squad.
00:14:27You know something, Kelly?
00:14:28What?
00:14:28I'm awfully fond of you, too.
00:14:31Hey, are you protesting something, too?
00:14:33Oh, gosh, no. I just painted them for Warren.
00:14:36Oh, okay. Thank you.
00:14:40Oh, yeah!
00:14:42Oh, yeah!
00:14:44Oh, yeah!
00:14:46Oh, yeah!
00:14:48Oh, yeah!
00:14:49Oh, yeah!
00:14:50Oh, yeah!
00:14:53Oh, yeah!
00:14:56Oh, yeah!
00:14:59Oh, yeah!
00:15:00Oh, yeah!
00:15:01Oh, yeah!
00:15:02Oh, yeah!
00:15:02Oh, yeah!
00:15:04Oh, yeah!
00:15:04Oh, yeah!
00:15:05Oh, yeah!
00:15:06Oh, yeah!
00:15:07Oh, yeah!
00:15:07Oh, yeah!
00:15:08All right.
00:15:09Too innocent, huh?
00:15:10Wish they want.
00:15:12Well, here goes.
00:15:20Oh, my God.
00:15:54Oh, my God.
00:16:17Oh, my God.
00:16:30Kelly, what's the matter?
00:16:35It's finished.
00:16:37Great.
00:16:39Okay, now, let's find the beginning.
00:16:41Great, great.
00:16:43Don't tear it.
00:16:44No, no, no, no, no.
00:16:48Here's 41.
00:16:49Great. All right, well, let's start here.
00:16:53Um, 34. What's this?
00:16:5642.
00:16:57Well, that's a good place to start.
00:16:59Hello?
00:17:00Kelly, are you all right?
00:17:01Mom, of course I'm all right.
00:17:03Dear, all of a sudden, I had the strangest feeling something was wrong.
00:17:07Mom, you've got to stop calling from St. Paul.
00:17:10I'm perfectly able to take good care of myself.
00:17:12How's Dad?
00:17:13Oh, he's fine. Here he is.
00:17:14Oh, good. Hi, Kelly. How are you, sweetheart?
00:17:17Look, I'm in an awful hurry.
00:17:18Why don't I write you at the end of the week, okay?
00:17:20All right, dear.
00:17:22Oh, Kelly, don't forget to take your vitamins.
00:17:24Mom will be angry.
00:17:25Okay, Mom. Love to you and Dad.
00:17:28Let's hurry up and get everything together so I can take to Mr. Colby to read.
00:17:34And so, gentlemen, as your delighted eyes will tell you by just a glance at these lovelets,
00:17:37what contour, eh?
00:17:39Ah, yes, what topography.
00:17:41Girl lure is international in scope and no expense has been spared
00:17:45to bring to our discriminating readers beauty from around the world.
00:18:09Well, as we said, gentlemen, it's the policy of girl lure to give new talent a chance.
00:18:17Oh, Mr. Colby, Mr. Colby, then you will read my new story, won't you?
00:18:23It's brand new, fresh out of the typewriter,
00:18:25and it's just full of all the sexy and exciting things that I know your readers will love.
00:18:29Oh, it's true, gentlemen, it's true.
00:18:31Mr. Colby's so helpful to newcomers.
00:18:36Certainly, certainly. I'll be glad to read it, Miss.
00:18:38Olson, S-S-O-N.
00:18:40Well, I guess I'll come back for your answer tomorrow.
00:18:43Bye. Bye.
00:18:45Bye.
00:18:45Bye.
00:18:48Mr. Colby read it, said thank you, but it doesn't suit our needs.
00:18:53How can you say that? It's filthy.
00:18:55Well, it may be, but it's not girl lure.
00:18:58Thank you so much. Good day.
00:19:04I tell you, Roy, they're just fine. Run them all, will you?
00:19:07Good, will do.
00:19:08I got a draw.
00:19:10Mr. Colby.
00:19:14Hey, Tim, take a look at these.
00:19:16What do you think?
00:19:18Rick thought these were pretty good. He liked this one particularly.
00:19:21It's good. It's kind of unusual.
00:19:23Good.
00:19:25Good.
00:19:31Hi, Mr. Colby.
00:19:34What is it with you?
00:19:36You pop up in the darndest places.
00:19:38I thought maybe you didn't like the story because of the typing.
00:19:43The typing.
00:19:44Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, Miss Olsen, that wasn't it.
00:19:47Actually, I found the story quite interesting.
00:19:49You did?
00:19:50Did I say interesting?
00:19:51Yes.
00:19:51Now, that's an understatement.
00:19:53Fascinating.
00:19:54Fascinating?
00:19:55Now, fascinating and it's an emptiness.
00:19:57Interesting that you should think I would even consider publishing a shambles like that.
00:20:00What?
00:20:01You know, that's what's wrong with so many of you kids today.
00:20:03You even live life like it's a shambles.
00:20:05The more disorderly, the more disrespectful, the more chaotic, the better you seem to like it.
00:20:10Now, just a minute.
00:20:12No sense of propriety, no sense of decency busting into the washroom here.
00:20:16What's the matter with your parents letting you grow up like that?
00:20:19Now, you leave my parents out of this.
00:20:20All right, then, about your so-called work.
00:20:23As a writer, you're lazy and a fraud.
00:20:26A fraud?
00:20:26The story's a mountain of familiarity, undoubtedly put together from everything you've read.
00:20:32Nothing fresh about it, nothing real, not a true moment in it.
00:20:37Oh, is that so?
00:20:38And the central character, the swinger.
00:20:42Now, that's a farce.
00:20:43That's completely unbelievable.
00:20:45Dealer in an illegal gambling den.
00:20:47Stripper, party girl, street walker, whatnot.
00:20:50No one that young could possibly be that depraved.
00:20:52She wouldn't have had the time.
00:20:58Oh, you're so smart, aren't you?
00:21:01You know everything.
00:21:02Enough.
00:21:05Well, that just shows you how much you know about real life.
00:21:08For your information, every single bit of depravity in the story happens to have happened.
00:21:13Uh-huh.
00:21:14The swinger just happens to be my life's story.
00:21:21Oh, I say, Richard!
00:21:28Richard!
00:21:28Oh, car dealer, stripper, party girl!
00:21:32Oh, I say, jolly good!
00:21:34Sir Hubert, it's nonsense.
00:21:35The girl's a fake.
00:21:36Oh, you never know, my dear, honey.
00:21:37You never know.
00:21:38Now, look here.
00:21:39If this is true, we have our own real live nymphette.
00:21:43So, Sir Hubert's hooked.
00:21:45He wants to publish it.
00:21:46He thinks the swinger is really Kelly's autobiography.
00:21:49They think you're really the swinger.
00:21:51Yeah, Sammy, go on, go on.
00:21:53Listen.
00:21:54Well, Sir Hubert and Mr. Colby are coming out tonight just to see how depraved Kelly really is.
00:22:01What?
00:22:01Yeah, yeah, thanks a lot, Sammy.
00:22:03We'll cook up something just great for them to come in on.
00:22:06Bye-bye.
00:22:07Oh, but, but it just popped out of me.
00:22:09I was so mad.
00:22:10I certainly didn't mean it.
00:22:12Yeah, but they'll never know that when we get through.
00:22:14Right, Sarge?
00:22:15Come on.
00:22:16Smut with those guys is a way of life.
00:22:18They'll believe anything as long as it's suggestive enough.
00:22:38This looks like it.
00:22:39My dear fellow, I sense something foul.
00:22:42I hear something foul.
00:22:44Jolly good clunk.
00:22:45Sergeant Hooker.
00:22:46Come in, Sergeant Hooker.
00:22:47Okay, Warren.
00:22:48Yeah.
00:22:49They're here and we're ready to start.
00:22:50We'll be there.
00:22:51Right.
00:23:01Beat it, man.
00:23:02This is a private man.
00:23:06I say this was positively degenerate.
00:23:19Oh, my dear fellow, feast your eyes on that.
00:23:23I say this is a private man.
00:23:41Oh, my God.
00:24:19Oh, my God.
00:24:46Oh, my God.
00:24:50Oh, my God.
00:25:09Let's go!
00:25:14Open up!
00:25:15Open up!
00:25:16This is Sergeant Hooker of the first squad.
00:25:18Open up!
00:25:19All right, boys. Knock it in!
00:25:28Get over there!
00:25:35Laurel!
00:25:37Kelly, are you behaving yourself?
00:25:41Uh, uh, sure, Mom. Sure, of course.
00:25:43I don't know, dear. I just had the most peculiar dream.
00:25:49What's that?
00:25:50Uh, uh, it's Bonanza. The TV's on.
00:25:53What was that noise?
00:25:55Bonanza.
00:25:56Bonanza's on now?
00:25:57Look, Mom, I can't talk right now.
00:25:59Well, all right, dear. Just as long as everything's all right.
00:26:03Good night.
00:26:04Don't forget to take your vitamins.
00:26:05Come on.
00:26:06Okay, I won't. And I'd lift you and death.
00:26:08Hey, Kelly, come on, come on. They're out by the side of the house.
00:26:12Oh, you were wonderful. Thank you so much.
00:26:15Hey, come on.
00:26:16Hey, come on.
00:26:20Hey, come on.
00:26:22Hey, come on.
00:26:22All right, take them downtown and throw in the basement.
00:26:25We'll call me two pounds.
00:26:27Get the rest of them out of here.
00:26:28Let's go. Come on.
00:26:31What publicity.
00:26:32What notoriety as we exploit the evil little thing along with her true life story.
00:26:38So you but every nasty thing ever said about you is absolutely true.
00:26:41Oh, do you know anything, sir? That's damn nice of you.
00:26:43That's quite all right. It's a pleasure.
00:26:45There she is! There she is! Get her! Get her quickly!
00:26:47Get her! Get her!
00:26:48Hey! Hey!
00:26:49Oh, you typical!
00:26:51Shh! Now, look here. Here's the program, old fellow.
00:26:54Oh, excuse me. How do you do? Sir Hubert here.
00:26:56Owner, publisher of girl lure. Filthy rich and all that sort of thing.
00:26:59Now, look. We'll hide her in my place until the story's ready for publication.
00:27:03Nope. Nope. Not yours. Not a chance.
00:27:05My Anne's place at the beach.
00:27:07Then we'll have a little discussion about your program.
00:27:09I'm not going anyplace with you two.
00:27:12You just shut up and do as you're told, hear me?
00:27:14Oh!
00:27:24It's too bad they had a busting so soon, man.
00:27:26You would have seen some real action out of sight.
00:27:29I saw enough.
00:27:30You know, I owe you an apology.
00:27:32I said the swinger was unbelievable.
00:27:34Well, I've changed my mind.
00:27:36If anything, you were holding back.
00:27:39Don't you worry about how your folks would feel?
00:27:41Oh, come on! That's why I learned it all.
00:27:43Mom and Pop are the biggest swingers in St. Paul.
00:27:46Tell that to Sir Hubert and he'll run a feature on them, too.
00:27:49He will?
00:27:50Mm-hmm.
00:27:50I mean, they can't get hold of them.
00:27:54They're in jail.
00:27:55Now, look.
00:27:56Haven't you ever tried to straighten yourself out?
00:27:58The square line?
00:28:00Oh, I think about it sometimes.
00:28:02I mean, there must be something to it or else why would so many people be on it?
00:28:05They're hooked.
00:28:10Oh, sometimes I even think I might even try, uh, give it a real good try, you know?
00:28:15Get reformed and all that jazz.
00:28:17That Higgins cat.
00:28:19Who?
00:28:20You know, the English professor in the picture.
00:28:22You know, uh, the stuffy John that made a lady out of a piece of garbage.
00:28:25A package?
00:28:26Yeah, that's the one.
00:28:28Hmm.
00:28:29I wonder if he could pull a thing off like that with me.
00:28:35Nah.
00:28:35Not a chance.
00:28:36I'm too far going.
00:28:38I'm afraid so.
00:28:41And don't start showing off your legs for me.
00:28:44It won't do you any good.
00:28:45What?
00:28:51What are you looking for?
00:28:53The bottle, man.
00:28:54Where do you keep the job?
00:28:55There's no jug.
00:28:56Will you put all the...
00:28:58That's my license.
00:28:59Don't...
00:28:59Stop that, will you?
00:29:15Come on.
00:29:29All right, this way.
00:29:30And keep quiet.
00:29:32My aunt's probably asleep.
00:29:33Mmm, man, what a pad.
00:29:35We could really tear this place up.
00:29:37Dickie?
00:29:38Is that you?
00:29:39Why, yes, Ankara.
00:29:41Oh, Dickie.
00:29:43I thought it was your car.
00:29:47Who's this?
00:29:48Well, I'll tell you about her in a minute, Ankara.
00:29:50I've got to call Karen.
00:29:53I don't want to shock you, but I'd like her to stay here tonight.
00:29:57Oh, certainly.
00:29:58She can have Brenda's room.
00:30:00I'll get her some night things.
00:30:02Good.
00:30:02She's a darling little thing, isn't she?
00:30:05Now you're getting smart.
00:30:06Yeah?
00:30:09Karen?
00:30:10Richard, where are you?
00:30:12The party started ages ago.
00:30:14I'm sorry, Karen, but I got tied up in some business.
00:30:17Well, drop it and get over here this instant.
00:30:19Karen, I can.
00:30:20You see, we came across this orgy in Laurel Canyon.
00:30:23Half-naked girl that we're using as a paintbrush.
00:30:26What?
00:30:27Well, your father's got some rotten scheme to use...
00:30:31I'm sorry, I can't talk now.
00:30:32She's stealing the bourbon.
00:30:33Bourbon?
00:30:34Richard, where are you?
00:30:35Sorry about the party.
00:30:37I'll call you tomorrow.
00:30:38Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
00:30:40Hey!
00:30:40There'll be none of that.
00:30:42And another thing, while you're here, you'll watch your manners and your language.
00:30:45Oh, thank you, Aunt Cora.
00:30:47Now you sleep in here tonight.
00:30:48And you see this?
00:30:49It's a tub.
00:30:51Take a bath.
00:30:52Of course I'm gonna take a bath.
00:30:57You may think I'm a little rough with her, Aunt Cora, but you can't believe the life she's led.
00:31:01The car chief.
00:31:03The party girl.
00:31:04And it's all documented in her book.
00:31:07And he wants to publish that story?
00:31:09Yep.
00:31:11Nonsense.
00:31:11That child depraved?
00:31:13That sweet young thing?
00:31:15Oh, I don't believe it.
00:31:17Well, I didn't either.
00:31:18Certainly not when I first met her.
00:31:20Not even when she popped up in the men's washroom.
00:31:22But when the vice squad broke down the doors, I was sold.
00:31:26I don't know, Aunt Cora.
00:31:27Maybe it's happening all over the country.
00:31:29Sweet young things going bad.
00:31:31The hard sell.
00:31:32The soft sell.
00:31:32The sex sell.
00:31:33In my own little way, I guess I've been a contributor.
00:31:36Well, I'm sick of it.
00:31:37Of Sir Hubert's slimy schemes.
00:31:39And especially of Sir Hubert himself.
00:31:42Good for you.
00:31:43Oh, how I like to see him busted by the fuzz.
00:31:46Listen, Aunt Cora, do you mind if she stays on indefinitely?
00:31:49Not at all.
00:31:50Maybe I can learn something.
00:31:52No, Aunt Cora.
00:31:53She's the one who should do the learning.
00:31:57Yeah.
00:31:59Why not?
00:32:00Why not?
00:32:01Why not what?
00:32:05Transform her.
00:32:06Turn her from a miserable, shameless thing
00:32:08into some kind of a decent lady with decent manners.
00:32:12And the proper lady-like inhibitions.
00:32:14Just like my fair lady.
00:32:16Hmm?
00:32:16Oh, I didn't mean it that way, Dicky.
00:32:19I think the idea's a blast.
00:32:20And then, when Sir Hubert comes looking for an evil thing to exploit,
00:32:25he'll have the shock of his life.
00:32:27Right.
00:32:27Why would the little ugly old dumb people have himself a coronary?
00:32:34What do I do?
00:32:35You're chaperoning, Aunt Cora.
00:32:36But now remember, it's a secret.
00:32:38Even from Karen.
00:32:38I don't want a chance her tipping her father.
00:32:42Now go on, go to sleep.
00:32:43We'll talk about it in the morning.
00:32:45Check.
00:32:46Oh, let's hoist him good, the old bratfink.
00:33:02Oh!
00:33:03Oh!
00:33:03Hey, it's me, Sergeant Hooker.
00:33:05Oh!
00:33:05My goodness, I didn't recognize you.
00:33:08Disguise.
00:33:09To be at one with the environment, so to speak.
00:33:12Sergeant, thank you so much for bringing in the vice squad to help out.
00:33:16Oh, shucks, Kelly. It was nothing.
00:33:17Them guys needed to practice anyway.
00:33:20How's it going?
00:33:21Well, I don't know.
00:33:22He's planning to reform me.
00:33:24He thinks I'm a miserable, shameless little...
00:33:27That's wonderful! It worked!
00:33:29Well, it didn't have to work out that well, did it?
00:33:31What's the matter?
00:33:32You falling for him?
00:33:34Falling for him?
00:33:35I think I'm gonna hang around and keep an eye on things.
00:33:38The way this is shaping up, I don't think either of you know what you're doing.
00:33:59I'll just show him how miserable and shameless I can be.
00:34:16Kelly?
00:34:19Kelly, come on. It's time to get up.
00:34:23Kelly, did you hear me?
00:34:25Oh, no.
00:34:37The trouble will never hurt her.
00:34:40All right, Kelly.
00:34:42On your feet.
00:34:45Kelly?
00:34:46Kelly, did you hear me? Wake up.
00:34:48Hi.
00:34:49Come on. Wake up. Wake up.
00:34:50Oh, I know. You got me all boosted up so you could produce me.
00:34:55Kelly, come on. Put your arms around my neck. That's it. Now, up we go.
00:35:02Kelly.
00:35:04Come on, now. On your feet.
00:35:07Come on. On your feet.
00:35:17Yeah, it's very funny, Kelly.
00:35:19Come on.
00:35:22Here we go.
00:35:29He is here. Look at the car.
00:35:41Hey, you fellas are all awake. He can't wait to shower with me.
00:35:46All right. Come on.
00:35:49Come on.
00:35:50Come on.
00:35:50Come on.
00:35:56Come on.
00:36:00Come on.
00:36:03Come on.
00:36:03Hey, you know what?
00:36:05He pushed me up.
00:36:07It's the juice plate.
00:36:08Kelly.
00:36:09It's all right.
00:36:10It's all right.
00:36:12It's all right.
00:36:13It's all right.
00:36:14Come on in.
00:36:15Let's have a party.
00:36:17Karen.
00:36:18Father.
00:36:19Take me home.
00:36:20Sadly, my dear, yes.
00:36:22At least I'll walk you to the car.
00:36:24Splendid.
00:36:26Karen.
00:36:30Karen.
00:36:32Karen.
00:36:33Karen, wait.
00:36:39Karen.
00:36:41Karen, wait a minute.
00:36:45It's not what you think, honey.
00:36:46No, darling.
00:36:47It never is.
00:36:50Father, aren't you going to say anything?
00:36:51What?
00:36:51Oh, yes.
00:36:52Yes, indeed.
00:36:52Now, look here, old man.
00:36:53It's hardly cricket.
00:36:54I saw her thirst.
00:36:56Hmm?
00:36:57Oh, rather.
00:36:58Now, look here, old man.
00:36:59It's hardly cricket.
00:37:00You're engaged to my daughter.
00:37:01Who is that little trollop, anyway?
00:37:04That's the girl.
00:37:05Never mind.
00:37:06Who cares?
00:37:07Oh, come on, Father.
00:37:08Karen.
00:37:08Karen.
00:37:09Oh, wait a minute.
00:37:09Let me explain.
00:37:10Wait.
00:37:11Hannibal, don't leave yet.
00:37:12Karen.
00:37:12Karen, look.
00:37:13If you just get out of the car, I'll explain.
00:37:15Karen, I want to explain.
00:37:16The girl is with...
00:37:17Karen.
00:37:18Karen.
00:37:19Karen.
00:37:31You listen to me.
00:37:33Here are some of the ground rules.
00:37:35Early to bed.
00:37:36Early to rise.
00:37:37No fellas around.
00:37:39Got it?
00:37:40Oh, dear.
00:37:41I...
00:37:42I don't know if I can stand that.
00:37:43I mean, I...
00:37:44I have such...
00:37:45Malaya Flores?
00:37:45Now, hiya, Dave.
00:37:46It's Richard Colby.
00:37:48Listen, will you please send two dozen long stem roses to Miss Karen Charles?
00:37:52Yeah.
00:37:53Yeah, same address.
00:37:54With a note.
00:37:55Supper at your place tonight for sure.
00:37:59Love, Rick.
00:38:02Bye-bye.
00:38:04I'll meet you at three o'clock for a little culture.
00:38:08Culture?
00:38:09Oh, come on.
00:38:10You must be kidding me.
00:38:12No, not at all.
00:38:13A little culture won't do you too much harm.
00:38:14Yes, sir.
00:38:15Oh, thank you, Walter.
00:38:16Here, put these on.
00:38:18I'll drop you off at the office and my aunt will pick you up there and take you to Saks.
00:38:21At Sir Hubert's expense.
00:38:23And while you're doing that, will you try something unique for me?
00:38:26What?
00:38:27Stay out of trouble.
00:38:36Hello, hello there.
00:38:38Oh, how nice to see you again so soon.
00:38:41Do come in, come in.
00:38:42No, thank you, Sir Hubert.
00:38:43I'm waiting for Mrs. Fowler.
00:38:45Oh, yes, certainly, yes.
00:38:46But in the meantime, let Sir Hubert here explain some of our plans for your story.
00:38:52What story?
00:38:53Well, your story.
00:38:54The Swinger.
00:38:55On a Swinger?
00:38:56Yes, come along, my dear.
00:38:58Do come along.
00:38:59Please.
00:39:00After you, sir.
00:39:01After you.
00:39:02After you.
00:39:03Oh, all right.
00:39:08Charming.
00:39:10Charming.
00:39:12Lovely, my dear.
00:39:15Yes, well that's another romance.
00:39:18On with the real stuff of life.
00:39:20Huh?
00:39:33The old maestro's at work again.
00:39:35No, no, no, no.
00:39:36Just a minute.
00:39:37You said you were going to tell me about it.
00:39:39I know I will.
00:39:39I know.
00:39:40Aha.
00:39:41Oh, Jackie.
00:39:43Aha.
00:39:44Come here, come here.
00:39:46Come here, my little partridge.
00:39:49Oh.
00:39:50Oh, are you all right?
00:39:51No, no, no, no.
00:39:52It's nothing.
00:39:52No, just part of the game.
00:40:08Hey, you know, I feel like I'm on vacation.
00:40:11Enjoy it.
00:40:30No, no, no, no.
00:40:31Just a second there.
00:40:32Hold on.
00:40:33What does it matter?
00:40:34After all, you're so depraved anyway.
00:40:37That's what I mean, Sir Hubert.
00:40:38You don't want me.
00:40:39I'm so cheap.
00:40:40Ta-ta, my dear.
00:40:41After all, we can't all be aristocracy.
00:41:02What's the challenge?
00:41:05Where is the, where's the, where's the challenge?
00:41:07It's up.
00:41:10I hate the challenge.
00:41:12Sir Hubert likes a sure thing.
00:41:25Are you all right, Sir Huber?
00:41:26Oh, crack it. There I go again. I feel like a positive ass.
00:41:31Oh, thank you. Thank you, thank you.
00:41:35Oh, my dear. I dare you. You may as well know the truth.
00:41:41Despite what you may think, when it comes to women, Sir Huber here is an empty barrel.
00:41:47What?
00:41:47Yes, my dear. It's no good. I'm a bumbler, that's all.
00:41:52Yes, all thumbs. And what the goodness is a handful of thumbs.
00:41:56But I thought that...
00:41:57I don't know. When I think a girl should, she won't. And when I think she won't, she will.
00:42:01Oh, fiddle fat. I always seem to zig when she wants to zag.
00:42:06But I heard that you...
00:42:07Confidential, my dear.
00:42:09I only got into this business because I thought it would make things easier.
00:42:14And it hasn't?
00:42:15A bust, my dear. Absolutely the worst kind.
00:42:19I'll wager I'm the only non-scorer in the whole game.
00:42:24Oh, you poor man.
00:42:26Yes, it is a bit humiliating, I must say.
00:42:29To have to admit that as a lecher, old stinkweed is an absolute fake.
00:42:34Fake?
00:42:34Shh, shh, shh, shh. Not so low, dear girl.
00:42:38I don't want to let it get out.
00:42:40You see, I have a position to keep up.
00:42:43Oh, I understand.
00:42:44Shh, shh, shh, shh. Don't, don't worry.
00:42:46I understand.
00:42:49BELL RINGS
00:42:52BELL RINGS
00:42:53BELL RINGS
00:42:53BELL RINGS
00:43:03BELL RINGS
00:43:30Don't worry. Your secret's safe with me.
00:43:35Mr. Colby's office.
00:43:36Oh, long distance operator.
00:43:38Just a moment, please.
00:43:59I just got to tell you the truth. It all started when I wanted to get published. I just made
00:44:04the whole thing up.
00:44:04Of course, dear. I never thought you were depraved to begin with.
00:44:08He didn't. But I think the whole put-on's a gasser.
00:44:11Oh, well, it's all gotten a little out of hand.
00:44:15Everybody thinks such terrible things about me.
00:44:20I just got to tell Rick the truth.
00:44:22You'll do no such thing. If Dickie wants to play Pygmalion, we simply must let him.
00:44:29It'll give him something constructive to do and keep his mind off that English muffin.
00:44:34Oh, how I'd like to bake that up.
00:44:37You would?
00:44:39So, child, you will just listen to me if you love him.
00:44:43Love him?
00:44:44Well, I don't love him. I mean, I think he's very nice, but I certainly don't love him.
00:44:48Oh, of course you don't, dear.
00:44:50But just the same, the only way to handle men, the dopes, is to keep them with one foot standing
00:44:57on the oil slick.
00:44:58Then when they tumble, it's in your direction.
00:45:01Dick?
00:45:02If you're going to compete with a woman, you've got to look like a woman.
00:45:05I'm kidding.
00:45:06I'm kidding.
00:45:39I'm kidding.
00:48:09I'm just leaving, Karen. Be there in about 20 minutes.
00:48:14Yeah, I'm looking forward to it also.
00:48:17Yeah. All right. Bye.
00:48:32I gotta have a drink.
00:48:34I need a drink.
00:48:41What's the matter?
00:48:43Oh, it's nothing. Nothing's just one of my attacks.
00:48:46Of your attacks?
00:48:48Well, you know, it's just so long. You know, no booze.
00:48:52Well, I told you, didn't I? It's the monkey on my back.
00:48:55Oh, oh, oh.
00:48:58Now, look, Kelly. Kelly, you've been doing just fine.
00:49:01Now, don't give up. Don't give up.
00:49:03Oh, honestly?
00:49:04Yeah, honestly. Don't give up.
00:49:05You really think so?
00:49:06Mm-hmm.
00:49:07Oh, I've been trying to do just as you want me to.
00:49:09I know.
00:49:09Kelly, up on your feet. Up on your feet. Come on. Come on.
00:49:11Got an idea.
00:49:12Oh, wow.
00:49:13Got a wonderful idea. Now, just take this off, huh?
00:49:16Just take it all off.
00:49:17Okay.
00:49:17That's it. I've got a splendid idea. I know just what to do.
00:49:21Really?
00:49:22Yeah, wait.
00:49:35Oh, who can sleep feeling this way?
00:49:40Oh.
00:49:41Glass of warm milk. That should settle you down.
00:49:44Yeah.
00:49:45Oh.
00:49:47TV. Watch your show.
00:49:49With all those beautiful beer commercials.
00:49:52Now, look, I've got to go. I cannot stay.
00:49:56Oh, the radio. Nice, soft, soothing music.
00:50:00That's a good idea.
00:50:01Good.
00:50:06Oh, that's nice.
00:50:08Now, you go to sleep. I'll see you tomorrow.
00:50:11Okay.
00:50:12Nighty-night.
00:50:14I want to be loved with inspiration.
00:50:26I want to be loved starting tonight
00:50:33Instead of merely holding conversation
00:50:39Instead of merely holding conversation
00:50:42Hold me tight
00:50:46I want to be kissed until I tingle
00:50:54I want to be kissed starting tonight
00:51:02Crush me till our heartbeats intermingle
00:51:16I feel like acting my age
00:51:21I'm past the stage
00:51:24Of merely turtle doving
00:51:30I'm in no mood to resist
00:51:36And I insist
00:51:38The world owes me a loving
00:51:54I'm in no mood to resist
00:51:58I'm ready for that well-known turtle doving
00:52:08I'm in no mood to resist
00:52:13I'm in no mood to resist
00:52:14I'm in no mood to resist
00:52:14And I insist
00:52:15The world owes me a loving
00:52:19And I want to be thrilled to desperation.
00:52:32I want to be thrilled starting tonight with every kind of crazy new sensation.
00:52:48I want to be loved, I want to be, I want to be, I want to be loved.
00:53:41I want to be, I want to be loved.
00:53:471, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2,
00:53:511, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2,
00:53:591, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2,
00:54:041, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2,
00:54:091, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2,
00:54:121, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2
00:54:18What? Feel better already, don't you?
00:54:20Huh? No?
00:54:22Stimulates me more.
00:54:23No, no, no, no. It's not supposed to stimulate you.
00:54:25It's supposed to tire you.
00:54:26Yeah, but when I get tired, I get stimulated, baby.
00:54:33Inside. Get back into bed.
00:54:35Oh! Oh, thank you!
00:54:37Now, look, I can't stay here all night.
00:54:39Oh, I know you can't, but before you go,
00:54:42do you think that maybe I could hold onto your hand for security
00:54:45while I doze off?
00:54:46Yeah.
00:55:18When you get home, don't you go?
00:55:26You could just go around the room.
00:55:49Miss Charles?
00:55:50Yes?
00:55:51I'm afraid Dickie won't be able to make it tonight.
00:55:54The poor dear's been sitting up with a sick friend.
00:56:41Oh, oh.
00:56:44Oh.
00:56:45Water.
00:56:50Fake!
00:56:51That's right, Mr. Colby.
00:56:53This is the only nude picture of the Olsen girl I could find.
00:56:57Mallory, are you sure you've been investigating the right girl?
00:57:00Well, it's the right one, all right.
00:57:02She's so clean she hasn't even held books overdue at the library.
00:57:07You know what I think?
00:57:08What?
00:57:10I figure it's all been a put on from the very start.
00:57:25John, do me a favor, will you?
00:57:27What's up?
00:57:27Keep this under your hat.
00:57:29I don't want Sir Hubert to know about this just yet.
00:57:31Gotcha.
00:57:32See, I'm sorry the way she played you for a...
00:57:34Yeah, I know exactly what you mean.
00:57:36Anytime.
00:57:36Yeah, send the bill.
00:57:37Right.
00:57:38How do you like that?
00:57:41Oh, Sally, before I forget, send two dozen roses to Miss Charles for missing her supper last night.
00:57:46Oh, no, no, no, no, no, that's not right.
00:57:48I just sent some yesterday.
00:57:50I tell you what, make it one of those stuffed giraffes with a radio in it.
00:57:53Okay.
00:57:54Sally, when the swinger comes out, tell her I want to see her at the office right after lunch.
00:58:17That's Kelly Olsen.
00:58:18Kelly.
00:58:19Take a look at her, she's nothing.
00:58:21Aw, I read her story.
00:58:30Not bad, eh, huh?
00:58:31I made luck myself.
00:58:33That's me.
00:58:34Yes.
00:58:35Jolly good likeness, don't you think?
00:58:37You're not going to print those.
00:58:39Well, it bothered me too, I must say.
00:58:41A bit conservative, I'm afraid.
00:58:43No.
00:58:44I mean, I look...
00:58:46That's exactly how you look on every newsstand throughout the country.
00:58:50Oh, but I thought you'd decided against publishing myself.
00:58:53I mean, I thought you'd realize that they were unpublishable.
00:58:56An outrage to public decency.
00:58:58Oh, my dear lady, if there is such a thing as public decency, nobody has yet found out exactly what
00:59:04it is.
00:59:07Ah, there you are.
00:59:08Excuse us, Sir Hubert, I need her for a while.
00:59:10Oh, Rick, there's something I've got to tell you.
00:59:12It's very important.
00:59:13Mm-hmm.
00:59:14Did you see the artwork, Sir, when it made out?
00:59:16Yes, it's awful.
00:59:16Mm-hmm.
00:59:17That's exactly what I want to talk to you about.
00:59:19Well, you remember how desperately...
00:59:20Well, I'm tossing out all that artwork.
00:59:22I want new stuff, in-person shots.
00:59:23I want to get some realism into the campaign.
00:59:25But you don't understand.
00:59:26I want to tell you the truth.
00:59:27That's great.
00:59:28Lovely.
00:59:29Mm-hmm.
00:59:30What's all this?
00:59:30For you.
00:59:31Kelly, I've got a great idea.
00:59:32I'm going to photograph you in the exact locations your story takes place.
00:59:36Actual scenes, just as you live them.
00:59:39Mm, lovely.
00:59:40Wrap it up, Mabel.
00:59:41What?
00:59:42Just as I live them?
00:59:44Go ahead.
00:59:45Kelly, you show them.
00:59:46I've never played cards in all my life.
00:59:51Hit me.
00:59:52Huh?
00:59:53Give me a card.
00:59:54Excuse me.
00:59:55Yeah.
00:59:56I didn't double it.
00:59:58Oh, my God.
01:00:00Oh, sorry.
01:00:01Wait a minute.
01:00:02Wait a minute.
01:00:04There are those chips here.
01:00:06What?
01:00:06That's all right.
01:00:08Oh, brother, where'd you come from now?
01:00:10Oh.
01:00:13Well, pretending I was a swinger even seemed like fun at first.
01:00:16And then your aunt told me to keep it up, and so I did.
01:00:19Okay, chapter four.
01:00:20A shot of you under that lamppost there.
01:00:22But I told you none of it was true.
01:00:23It's all a thing.
01:00:24Now, just leave it to me, will you, hon?
01:00:25Now, go on.
01:00:26We'll talk about it some more after this.
01:00:28But I'll be recognized.
01:00:30Too dark.
01:00:30Besides, all I'm interested in is the figure.
01:00:32Well, as long as you know the truth.
01:00:34And when you walk, Kelly, give it a little wiggle.
01:00:39Wiggle?
01:00:40Go.
01:00:42That's it.
01:00:44All right.
01:00:45I'll wiggle.
01:00:46A little more come on.
01:00:49That's it.
01:00:50All right.
01:01:13Hi, baby.
01:01:21How about it, huh?
01:01:22What do you say?
01:01:29Boy, you said it was all a gag.
01:01:32You said there'd be no trouble.
01:01:34All right.
01:01:34All right.
01:01:34Here.
01:01:35This will buy you two steaks.
01:01:36One for your eye.
01:01:38You were just beautiful.
01:01:39Just great.
01:01:43One for the eye.
01:01:48Now, the management presents The Sexational Swinger.
01:01:55Now, go on out there and do your stuff, honey.
01:01:57I'm going to publish The Swinger as a social document.
01:02:00As a warning to all young girls like yourself.
01:02:03Hoping to keep them from a life of debasement.
01:02:07I've never stripped of my life.
01:02:08I don't know how.
01:02:10I'm scared.
01:02:17Hey, Ken.
01:02:18You're on.
01:02:18Sing.
01:02:27Bossy, get it back here.
01:02:28Boy.
01:02:30Those icy fingers up and down my spine.
01:02:37That same old witchcraft when your eyes meet mine.
01:02:44That same old tangle that I feel inside.
01:02:50And then that elevator starts its ride.
01:02:57Oh, down and down I go.
01:03:01Round and round I go.
01:03:04When I spend loving that spin I'm in.
01:03:08Under that old black magic collar.
01:03:18Oh, down and down.
01:03:24Oh, down and down.
01:03:27oh, down and down.
01:03:35Oh, down and down and down.
01:03:45Whoa!
01:03:48Oh!
01:03:48Ugg!
01:04:02Oh!
01:04:04Oh!
01:04:04Oh!
01:04:05Ah!
01:04:06Oh!
01:04:14Oh!
01:04:15Oh!
01:04:25Just like your book, Charlie, you're doing great.
01:04:28Oh, really?
01:04:29So that's what you want.
01:04:30Here goes.
01:04:44Pretty good, huh?
01:04:45Here, put your clothes on.
01:04:47That's all the photography for tonight.
01:04:51Kelly, you've been so wonderful about it all, I've got a special treat in store for you.
01:04:56A treat?
01:05:13Voila!
01:05:16I want to be in love.
01:05:19Come on.
01:05:43I want to be in love.
01:05:48I want to be in love.
01:05:48Well, you deserve a little reward.
01:05:51What?
01:05:51You know, I want to be loved.
01:06:02I want to be in love.
01:06:23I want to be in love.
01:06:25I want to be in love.
01:06:25No!
01:06:26No, but I'm not that way.
01:06:28I confessed it all, didn't I?
01:06:29Confessed?
01:06:30Come on, do you think I believe that phony confession?
01:06:32Oh, that wasn't phony.
01:06:33The other was phony.
01:06:35But what about you?
01:06:36That warning you wanted to publish.
01:06:38Keeping young girls like me from a life of debasement.
01:06:40Just as phony as your confession.
01:06:42Hey!
01:06:44I don't know who's a bigger liar.
01:06:46You or me?
01:07:00Me!
01:07:01Me!
01:07:13Hey, Kelly!
01:07:14Hey, Kelly, wait a minute.
01:07:16Newlyweds, Phil, but, oh, bless them.
01:07:25Hey, Kelly, wait a minute.
01:07:33Sergeant Hooker, Vice Squad, you're under arrest for abduction.
01:07:38All right, cut from him, take him out of here.
01:07:41It's quite late and they're about to wrap up our beach.
01:07:43You should report that there seems to be some trouble at a motel here on the Coast Highway.
01:07:46Gentlemen, I think you're making a terrible mistake.
01:07:49I haven't done anything wrong.
01:07:50May I ask, who are you?
01:07:52Jack Happy, owner and proprietor of the Seacom Motel.
01:07:56Who are they arresting?
01:07:57Mr. John Jones.
01:07:58Not to be confused with 11 other John Joneses and wives here tonight.
01:08:02Last 4th of July, we had 42 John Joneses and that was our record, you know.
01:08:07Well, what's the trouble?
01:08:08Abduction.
01:08:09Abduction.
01:08:22I have it all right.
01:08:23Kelly!
01:08:23How are you?
01:08:25Richard owner, Richard Colby.
01:08:27Richard Colby.
01:08:28Uh, legal owner, Girl Lure Publications.
01:08:31I recognize him from the magazine.
01:08:33Well, I gotta be going.
01:08:34They may want me as a witness.
01:08:35Thank you very much, sir.
01:08:37Thank you for your time.
01:08:38Uh, KTVX News in its attempt to bring you the most complete coverage of news in the Southland
01:08:43cannot vouch for the veracity of anyone who appears on its microphone.
01:08:47Cleet, keep on the air.
01:08:49We'll send out video to meet you at the police station.
01:08:51It could be that girl Lure is running some type of vice racket.
01:08:55Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep.
01:09:05Listen, I got something real important to tell you.
01:09:07Oh, I'm sorry.
01:09:08Wait a minute.
01:09:09I got...
01:09:09It's important.
01:09:11Mama!
01:09:12Kelly!
01:09:13Oh, Kelly, what are you doing here?
01:09:16Well, we phoned and phoned for days and no answers.
01:09:19So I said we'll take the economy flight to Los Angeles and see what's going on.
01:09:23Mother, I said you're worried for nothing.
01:09:25Now, there, do you see?
01:09:26Why don't you go and fix some breakfast while I watch the rest of this thing on television?
01:09:30Good to see you, baby.
01:09:31You look wonderful.
01:09:32Oh, thank you, Kelly.
01:09:34Is everything all right, Kelly?
01:09:35Oh, it's great, Mom.
01:09:38Oh, Mom, it's just awful.
01:09:41It's just so terrible, the things I've done.
01:09:45I don't even know where to begin.
01:09:46It's so horrible.
01:09:47Horrible?
01:09:48Huh?
01:09:49When you called me a few weeks ago, there I was, plagiarizing a story.
01:09:54Plagiarizing?
01:09:55Plagiarizing.
01:09:55And then the next time you called, I was in the middle of an orgy.
01:09:59Orgy?
01:09:59And then the Y Squad came in and arrested everybody.
01:10:02My Squad.
01:10:03Well, never mind, dear.
01:10:06At least you've been taking your vitamins.
01:10:08Oh, I have, Mom.
01:10:09I have really faithfully.
01:10:11But see, that's not the end of it.
01:10:14Then...
01:10:15Then I was a car dealer in a gambling den.
01:10:17Car dealer?
01:10:18And then...
01:10:21A stripper.
01:10:22Stripper?
01:10:23And a street walker.
01:10:24Street walker?
01:10:25And then in that motel...
01:10:27Motel?
01:10:27A man tried to forcibly seduce me.
01:10:30Forcibly?
01:10:31Seduce?
01:10:32Seduce.
01:10:33Well, there, there.
01:10:35If you think these things are bad, will your children grow up?
01:10:40Wait a minute.
01:10:41Could it be him?
01:10:41Captain, I tell you, it's simply a misunderstanding.
01:10:44Did you or did you not forcibly take the young lady into the cavern?
01:10:47Well, I had her by the office.
01:10:48It's him.
01:10:49Hey, Corby.
01:10:50Do you have a statement?
01:10:50That's Rick.
01:10:51Wouldn't you call this an obvious case of police brutality?
01:10:54Police brutality?
01:10:55Get out of bus, Joe!
01:10:56Do it!
01:10:56What?
01:10:57Get him out of here!
01:10:58Look him out!
01:10:59Rick!
01:11:00Rick!
01:11:03Sally, what are you doing here?
01:11:04I'm protecting my job.
01:11:05I want you to bring a saw.
01:11:06I brought some chicken soup, too.
01:11:08Look, Sally, will you please call my lawyer and tell him to get down here?
01:11:10Then I want to get in.
01:11:12Hit! Hit!
01:11:12That's for police use.
01:11:15Hold me.
01:11:16Here comes Sir Hubert.
01:11:17I'm terribly bored.
01:11:18A publisher.
01:11:19I'm sorry.
01:11:19A magazine.
01:11:20Sir Hubert, if you please, if you please.
01:11:22Is there any truth to the rumor that the Seacom Hotel is a private key club for girl or executives
01:11:27and special guests?
01:11:28Poppy Cup!
01:11:29Share a rock, my dear fella.
01:11:30Don't forget, Tuck, find out where Kelly runs.
01:11:32Honest Hal here.
01:11:33Who?
01:11:33Honest Hal, Colby.
01:11:34I give you a good price for your car.
01:11:35Now, I understand those seats, they fall down into a bed.
01:11:37Who?
01:11:38Who?
01:11:39Who are you?
01:11:40Excuse me, please.
01:11:41I'll tell you who I am.
01:11:42Honest Hal.
01:11:42Squares use car dealer in Southern California.
01:11:44Step aside, please.
01:11:45I wish to see that bone-driven editor of mine.
01:11:47You know what I'm going to do special right for you, Captain?
01:11:49I'm going to give you the highest lead price for the Broken Down Squad.
01:11:52I can't for you.
01:11:54Solicity.
01:11:55Police station.
01:11:56I can't honestly say that this is a typical day at the station house, but it does show how our
01:12:02law officials have to be ready for any eventuality.
01:12:06Excuse me.
01:12:06What have you done with our ninfet?
01:12:08There's no ninfet, sir.
01:12:09It never was.
01:12:10It was all a hoax.
01:12:11It's the girls of faith.
01:12:12The authorities.
01:12:13John?
01:12:14Oh, for the sake, pay his bail or whatever.
01:12:17Let's get out of here.
01:12:18No, no, just a minute.
01:12:19There's no bail.
01:12:20He hasn't even been booked yet.
01:12:22You see, I'm still trying to find out what this is all about.
01:12:27Hey, give me my pink delight.
01:12:32Hey!
01:12:37We never saw my...
01:12:39Oh...
01:12:40Laura!
01:12:41Is Kelly with you?
01:12:42No, she is not with me.
01:12:43Her cycle's gone.
01:12:44She probably went over to her place.
01:12:46Sally, try to reach her on the phone.
01:12:47You took that child to a motel!
01:12:50Quiet!
01:12:52You gotta be ashamed of yourself taking your own that way.
01:12:54Who is this woman?
01:12:56Make off, Jack. I'm talking to my nephew.
01:12:59It's fairly crowded in here now.
01:13:03Quiet!
01:13:04Father, I believe you're here.
01:13:07Give me my pink delight.
01:13:09Thanks, buddy.
01:13:10I thought you were locked up.
01:13:11No, no, no.
01:13:16You've lost a picture.
01:13:19What is this?
01:13:20Where are you going, Kelly?
01:13:22I'm going to the police station.
01:13:25Lock her up.
01:13:26No.
01:13:27And lock him up.
01:13:28Yes.
01:13:29Gee, Captain, I'm sorry I ever arrested him in the first place.
01:13:32Let them all go.
01:13:34Clear them all out.
01:13:34They're all free.
01:13:35And after they're gone, Sergeant, you come back.
01:13:39I want to talk to you.
01:13:42Okay.
01:13:43All right, everybody, clear up.
01:13:47This is your tutti frutti, Uncle Hyman.
01:13:49Oh, thanks, Herbert.
01:13:51Oh, my God.
01:13:55Kelly, Kelly, where are you going this time of the police?
01:13:58Kelly, would you go in, please?
01:14:00Kelly, where's the pocketbook?
01:14:01Wait a minute.
01:14:02Come on, Mr. Full.
01:14:03You can ride with me.
01:14:04All right.
01:14:05Come on, get in there.
01:14:06Get in.
01:14:07Get in.
01:14:10Go ahead.
01:14:10Go ahead.
01:14:11Go ahead.
01:14:15Come on, go ahead.
01:14:16There we go.
01:14:17Go ahead.
01:14:17Get away! Go ahead!
01:14:24Impounded? That's right.
01:14:27All right.
01:14:38I'm impounded! Wait for me!
01:14:45Hey, don't leave me out!
01:14:47Come on, daughter! You can swear in the car!
01:15:17Come on!
01:15:18Come on!
01:15:37Come on!
01:15:38Come on!
01:15:40Come on!
01:15:42Come on!
01:15:44Come on!
01:15:44Come on!
01:15:48Come on!
01:15:50Come on!
01:15:52Come on!
01:15:54Come on!
01:16:23Come on!
01:16:23Come on!
01:16:33Young couple die in head-on crash!
01:16:37Is that any way to end a tender, delicate love story?
01:16:43Certainly not!
01:16:45Come on!
01:17:02Come on!
01:17:04Come on!
01:17:04Come on!
01:17:05Come on!
01:17:14Come on!
01:17:33I'll be hittying!
01:17:36You can't Tell Ball!
01:17:42Oh!
01:17:45Pop!
01:17:46Zoom!
01:17:48Zap!
01:17:50Bang!
01:17:51Bow!
01:17:54Baby, come and swing with me now.
01:17:57Baby, come and swing with me now.
01:18:01Baby, come and swing with me.
01:18:14Yeah!
01:18:42Yeah!
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