- 4 hours ago
Philosopher Stefan Molyneux explains why we fear guilt and shame in this listener questions episode by showing how failed relationships usually come from self-deception where physical attraction blinds people to bad character. He advocates getting honest about red flags and choosing partners based on long-term parenting potential instead of short-term desire.
0:00:00 Questions in the Woods
0:02:10 Typos Signal Carelessness
0:04:04 Respecting Time and Seriousness
0:07:12 How to Show That You're Serious
0:09:43 Serious Ideas Need Serious Proof
0:12:52 My Best Work
0:16:22 Ethics in Government Funding
0:22:19 Roots of Embarrassment and Shame
0:27:00 Aging, Family, and Social Rules
0:31:58 Trees, Forests, and Concepts
0:34:03 Why Concepts Feel Real
0:37:25 Worshipping Abstractions and Categories
0:40:33 Team Sports and Meritocracy
0:49:21 Heartbreak, Truth, and Self-Deception
GET FREEDOMAIN MERCH! https://shop.freedomain.com/
SUBSCRIBE TO ME ON X! https://x.com/StefanMolyneux
Follow me on Youtube! https://www.youtube.com/@freedomain1
GET MY NEW BOOK 'PEACEFUL PARENTING', THE INTERACTIVE PEACEFUL PARENTING AI, AND THE FULL AUDIOBOOK!
https://peacefulparenting.com/
Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free!
Subscribers get 12 HOURS on the "Truth About the French Revolution," multiple interactive multi-lingual philosophy AIs trained on thousands of hours of my material - as well as AIs for Real-Time Relationships, Bitcoin, Peaceful Parenting, and Call-In Shows!
You also receive private livestreams, HUNDREDS of exclusive premium shows, early release podcasts, the 22 Part History of Philosophers series and much more!
See you soon!
https://freedomain.locals.com/support/promo/FREEDOMAIN2026
0:00:00 Questions in the Woods
0:02:10 Typos Signal Carelessness
0:04:04 Respecting Time and Seriousness
0:07:12 How to Show That You're Serious
0:09:43 Serious Ideas Need Serious Proof
0:12:52 My Best Work
0:16:22 Ethics in Government Funding
0:22:19 Roots of Embarrassment and Shame
0:27:00 Aging, Family, and Social Rules
0:31:58 Trees, Forests, and Concepts
0:34:03 Why Concepts Feel Real
0:37:25 Worshipping Abstractions and Categories
0:40:33 Team Sports and Meritocracy
0:49:21 Heartbreak, Truth, and Self-Deception
GET FREEDOMAIN MERCH! https://shop.freedomain.com/
SUBSCRIBE TO ME ON X! https://x.com/StefanMolyneux
Follow me on Youtube! https://www.youtube.com/@freedomain1
GET MY NEW BOOK 'PEACEFUL PARENTING', THE INTERACTIVE PEACEFUL PARENTING AI, AND THE FULL AUDIOBOOK!
https://peacefulparenting.com/
Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free!
Subscribers get 12 HOURS on the "Truth About the French Revolution," multiple interactive multi-lingual philosophy AIs trained on thousands of hours of my material - as well as AIs for Real-Time Relationships, Bitcoin, Peaceful Parenting, and Call-In Shows!
You also receive private livestreams, HUNDREDS of exclusive premium shows, early release podcasts, the 22 Part History of Philosophers series and much more!
See you soon!
https://freedomain.locals.com/support/promo/FREEDOMAIN2026
Category
📚
LearningTranscript
00:00:00All right, all right. Hello, everybody. It's Stefan Malini from Free Domain, and we are out and about allowing the
00:00:09tiny little biplane vampires to feast on our flesh in the woods in Canada. Delightful. So I hope you're doing
00:00:17well. I have some questions that need to be answered, or I've asked people to give me questions, and here
00:00:27they are. This is on my X account.
00:00:30at x.com slash Stefan Malini. All right. Would you be willing to review my novel formal abductive argument for
00:00:40the existence of God being the best explanation for moral absolutes? It begins with the ought of adhering to what
00:00:47is true and rejecting what is false as morally real and fortifies a personal source.
00:00:56Well, here's the funny thing.
00:00:59When, now, first of all, if you're going to ask me, and this is a bit of a nag thing.
00:01:04This comes from when I was a hiring manager, chief technical officer, director of marketing, and so on.
00:01:10And I would get resumes with typos in them. And I just toss them. I would just toss them. Because
00:01:22if you want someone
00:01:26to take a good look at something that you've done a great intellectual weight and moment, then don't have a
00:01:34typo in the message that you sent.
00:01:37This is just a basic quality thing. If, you know, one of the most valuable attributes a person can bring
00:01:45to your life is you don't have to check their work.
00:01:49That is super important. If I have employees who wrote code for me, as I did for many years, if
00:01:57I don't need to double check their work, fantastic.
00:02:01Fantastic. If I have salespeople who work for me, and I don't need to double check their proposals, fantastic. That's
00:02:10what you need.
00:02:10So, the first thing that you want to do is not have an obvious typo. It's A-H-D-E
00:02:20-R-I-N-G, ordering.
00:02:24I think it's supposed to be adhering, but how am I supposed to believe that you have solved the problem
00:02:31of ethics relative to God if you can't even catch a typo in a message that you sent, number one?
00:02:39Number two, I do call-in shows all the time. I do three call-in shows a week. Wednesday night,
00:02:477 p.m. Friday night, 7 p.m. Sundays, 10 a.m.
00:02:55And, of course, I love to talk about ethics. Ethics is the thing. I love UPB, University Preferable Behavior. My
00:03:03proof is secular ethics. I love talking philosophy.
00:03:07The call-in shows originally were supposed to be about philosophical topics. People wanted to talk about personal stuff, which
00:03:13is fine.
00:03:14But I adore talking abstractions, ethics, philosophy, and so on. So, would I be willing to review an argument?
00:03:27I have spent 21 years talking for 20 hours a week. You can also book a call-in show. Call
00:03:37-in shows are whatever you want to talk about. It could be to debate something.
00:03:42It could be to debate something. It could be to debate something. It could be about an intellectual argument, and
00:03:46so on, right?
00:03:47So, asking me if I would be willing to talk to someone about philosophy is obviously a little confusing, because
00:04:00that's what I do.
00:04:03So, this means somebody has not at all taken the time to figure out what I do, and how often
00:04:15I talk to people, and the approaches that I take, and all of that.
00:04:20So, if you can't be bothered to research anything that I do, and honestly, it's just go to my website.
00:04:27And if you follow me on X, I post all the time, remind us about my call-in shows. I
00:04:35do spontaneous call-in shows. I do call-ins.
00:04:38So, that means you haven't been to my website. You haven't checked on my work. You don't care anything about
00:04:46me, which is fine.
00:04:48I mean, it's not like you have to wake up and care everything about me, but if you don't care
00:04:53anything about me,
00:04:54then why would you care about my opinion on your theory of ethics?
00:04:58You know, this is another thing from when I was a manager and hiring people.
00:05:07I was chief technical officer and director of marketing, and what I would do is when someone came to interview,
00:05:17I would expect that they had gone to the website and learned a little bit about what we do.
00:05:23And I say this to you because I want you to have a good experience in the world.
00:05:32I want you to have a good experience in the world.
00:05:33Having a good experience in the world means getting to know people, even, you know, 10 minutes, 20 minutes.
00:05:41Ate a bug.
00:05:4210, 20 minutes.
00:05:45Just find out a little bit about me, what I do, how you can contact me.
00:05:50And if you don't care about that, if you don't care to get to know me at all, if you
00:05:57don't care to know what it is that I do or how to contact me,
00:06:02again, that's totally fine.
00:06:04But then you don't really care about your system of ethics.
00:06:08And I'm just telling you how intelligent people view your efforts in this world.
00:06:16So if you really cared about your system of ethics, then it would matter to you to find out the
00:06:28best way to get in touch with me
00:06:29and not just type out a misspelled question on my X platform, said question of which could be answered with
00:06:40a few minutes on my website.
00:06:42On my website, it says right there, call-ins.
00:06:44You can call in about anything you want.
00:06:46So then you would just book a call-in.
00:06:49By the way, call.freedomain.com.
00:06:52That's call.freedomain.com.
00:06:56Have I come to an end here?
00:06:57It's been a while since I've been in these woods.
00:07:00Let us see.
00:07:02Ba-ba!
00:07:03Have we come to the end?
00:07:05Or does it continue?
00:07:06I think that is the end.
00:07:08My only friend, the end.
00:07:11All right, let's head back.
00:07:12Now, because everyone goes through a filtering mechanism in life, right?
00:07:19They go through a filtering mechanism and they say...
00:07:22That's beautiful out here.
00:07:24They say that too.
00:07:25So they go through a filtering mechanism.
00:07:26And what they do is they say,
00:07:29Is this person serious about what it is that they want to do?
00:07:35And if you have genuinely proven ethics...
00:07:39Look, I'm not saying you haven't.
00:07:40I'd be happy to hear the argument.
00:07:42But if you have genuinely proven ethics, that is the most valuable thing in the world.
00:07:48Honestly, like, without a doubt, that is the most valuable thing in the world.
00:07:51If you have actually proven ethics.
00:07:54I mean, I believe I have proven ethics.
00:07:57I know I've proven ethics.
00:07:58So I pour mind, heart, body, and soul into getting the ideas and the arguments out there.
00:08:06Because billions of lives hang in the balance of correct ethics in the world.
00:08:12So if you genuinely believe that you have solved the problem of ethics,
00:08:20then you wouldn't just send a badly typed message to me,
00:08:25which could be answered with a two-minute view of my website.
00:08:32Or just calling in.
00:08:34You'd set yourself a reminder.
00:08:36And you'd say,
00:08:36Oh, Steph does these call-in shows.
00:08:39So if I want to talk about my system of ethics,
00:08:42all I need to do is call into Steph's show.
00:08:46And we can chat about it, which, of course, I'd be thrilled to do.
00:08:49I am not lost, but I am not found in the woods here.
00:08:52There's some part back here, but I can't find it right now.
00:08:55All right.
00:08:55So, it's sort of like if you believe you have an idea that genuinely will make a billion dollars
00:09:06or something like that, you have some sort of business idea or some sort of idea,
00:09:10then I don't know how serious your argument is.
00:09:16I don't know how serious your business proposal is.
00:09:19The only way that I can judge the information that you're providing to me
00:09:24is not whether or not the idea, the argument, the business idea, the proof.
00:09:30I can't judge whether that is a good idea or an important idea or a valuable idea.
00:09:38I can't judge that because I don't know what it is.
00:09:43So, the only way that I can judge the idea prior to evaluating the idea itself
00:09:54is to judge how seriously you take the idea.
00:09:59Do you see what I mean?
00:10:01That's all I can do.
00:10:04If you send to me,
00:10:08Steph, I got the best diet book on the planet.
00:10:10Not that I'm a nutritionist or anything, but let's say that was a value to me.
00:10:13I've got the best diet book on the planet.
00:10:16And you yourself are obese.
00:10:20I'm not going to read your diet book.
00:10:24Because if you have the best diet in the world
00:10:27and you're following your diet,
00:10:28then it's not the best diet in the world because you're obese.
00:10:34If you have the best diet in the world
00:10:37but you yourself are not following that diet,
00:10:43then I know that you don't think it's the best diet in the world
00:10:47or you don't think it's important.
00:10:51So, to get the attention of serious people in this world,
00:10:56you have to have empathy
00:11:00for my time, for the time of my audience, and so on.
00:11:05And you have to take things very, very seriously
00:11:10that you're doing.
00:11:12And if you just toss off a badly typed question,
00:11:14which could be answered in a minute or two on my website,
00:11:17or you could just call in to my shows,
00:11:21I post probably 10, 12 times a week about my call-in shows.
00:11:27So that means that you haven't listened to my show,
00:11:31you don't follow me on X,
00:11:32you're just typing a badly worded missive to me
00:11:37about whether I'm going to review your argument.
00:11:40And the answer to that is no,
00:11:42because time is short
00:11:43and I wish to deal with people
00:11:45who take their ideas and arguments very seriously
00:11:48because especially a proof of ethics
00:11:53is very serious.
00:11:55It's a very serious business.
00:11:58So,
00:12:01also,
00:12:02knowing that I have a theory of ethics
00:12:05would seem to be quite important as well.
00:12:09seeing how it might work with my proof of ethics.
00:12:12So,
00:12:12I'm not trying to be a nag,
00:12:14I'm really not.
00:12:15I'm genuinely trying to help you
00:12:18as a serious person
00:12:19who's got a lot of stuff done in the world.
00:12:21This is not how a serious person
00:12:23gets anything done in the world.
00:12:26Like, I'm sorry about that.
00:12:28But I need to be frank with you.
00:12:30If you don't take your ideas seriously enough
00:12:33to do a tiny bit of research
00:12:35and check the spelling in your message,
00:12:38then why would I take your ideas
00:12:41seriously at all?
00:12:43So, maybe you do have a great proof,
00:12:45but if you want to get people
00:12:47to take you seriously,
00:12:48you need to approach
00:12:50what you're doing
00:12:51with the seriousness it deserves.
00:12:52All right.
00:12:53What's your favorite piece of content
00:12:55you have created
00:12:56over the years?
00:12:58My all-time favorite is the video
00:12:59The Story of Your Enslavement.
00:13:02Well,
00:13:04that is my Bohemian Rhapsody.
00:13:06And it is always, of course, interesting.
00:13:08You see sort of bands like Queen
00:13:09continue
00:13:10from Bohemian Rhapsody
00:13:11to absolute trash
00:13:13like Delilah,
00:13:14which was a song
00:13:14Freddie Mercury wrote about his cat,
00:13:16which is really bad.
00:13:18Having all the backup singers
00:13:20screech meow
00:13:21in falsetto
00:13:22is not even close
00:13:24to high art.
00:13:26So,
00:13:32it's quite tragic.
00:13:33Do I go out here?
00:13:34Sorry,
00:13:34I lost my wind guard
00:13:35on the microphone here.
00:13:37Some of it fell off
00:13:39and trying to find
00:13:40a tiny wind guard
00:13:41in the woods
00:13:42is not
00:13:43a productive
00:13:45use of human time.
00:13:46So,
00:13:47I just wanted to
00:13:48mention that
00:13:48as a slight distraction.
00:13:51So,
00:13:51I got to tell you guys,
00:13:55I have faults,
00:13:56of course,
00:13:57I have faults,
00:13:57and one of them
00:13:58is perhaps
00:13:59an overlove
00:14:00of my own work.
00:14:02And so,
00:14:03my favorite piece of content
00:14:05is always the one
00:14:06I'm creating
00:14:07in the moment.
00:14:08My favorite piece of content
00:14:10is what
00:14:11I am
00:14:12doing right now.
00:14:14Right now.
00:14:17and
00:14:19of course,
00:14:20I mean,
00:14:20I love the stuff
00:14:21that I've done
00:14:21in the past.
00:14:22I think my novels
00:14:23are great.
00:14:25I think that
00:14:27my documentaries
00:14:28are good
00:14:30and
00:14:35I do
00:14:35like,
00:14:37of course,
00:14:38some of the
00:14:40stuff I used
00:14:40to be able
00:14:41to put together
00:14:43with
00:14:43clips.
00:14:44Now,
00:14:45I'm trying
00:14:46a UPB movie,
00:14:47it's about half an hour long,
00:14:48which has
00:14:49AI clips
00:14:50to illustrate
00:14:51the points.
00:14:52and
00:14:55it is not
00:14:55being met
00:14:57with great positivity,
00:14:58which is fine.
00:14:59I mean,
00:14:59obviously,
00:15:00I'm trying things
00:15:01seeing if they work.
00:15:02I'm not sure
00:15:03if I will continue
00:15:03or abandon that project
00:15:05or wait
00:15:06until AI tools
00:15:07become a little bit better.
00:15:09I'm still trying
00:15:09to figure that out.
00:15:10So,
00:15:11honestly,
00:15:12the,
00:15:13if you're,
00:15:14if you're singing
00:15:14a concert,
00:15:15like if you're a singer
00:15:16or a musician
00:15:16and you're doing
00:15:17a concert,
00:15:19then what you're doing
00:15:20is hopefully
00:15:22you're not thinking
00:15:24and I know
00:15:25this is not what
00:15:25you're suggesting.
00:15:26I'm telling you
00:15:26my mindset,
00:15:27right?
00:15:28If you're a musician
00:15:29and you are creating,
00:15:33you're doing your music,
00:15:34you're performing
00:15:35in the moment,
00:15:36then your favorite
00:15:36performance
00:15:38has to be the one
00:15:38you're doing right now
00:15:40because you can't
00:15:41give a good performance
00:15:43if
00:15:45you are thinking
00:15:45about,
00:15:47wow,
00:15:47you know,
00:15:47like 10 years ago,
00:15:49man,
00:15:49did I give a really
00:15:50good performance.
00:15:52You can't really,
00:15:53I mean,
00:15:54where does Queen go
00:15:54after Live Aid,
00:15:55right?
00:15:55They have to say,
00:15:56well,
00:15:56the performance
00:15:56I'm giving right now
00:15:57is the best performance.
00:16:00So,
00:16:04the answers
00:16:05that I'm giving
00:16:05right now
00:16:06is my favorite content
00:16:08and tomorrow
00:16:09when I
00:16:12put answers
00:16:12out about something else
00:16:13or do another show
00:16:14or have another call in,
00:16:15that will be
00:16:16my favorite content.
00:16:17My favorite content
00:16:18is always
00:16:19what I'm producing
00:16:20in the moment,
00:16:20if that helps.
00:16:22Excuse me,
00:16:23somebody says,
00:16:25as part owner
00:16:26of a research
00:16:27and development company,
00:16:28is there an ethical
00:16:29consideration
00:16:29in funding?
00:16:31I find some
00:16:32of the games
00:16:32played
00:16:33to be
00:16:35distasteful.
00:16:37But if I find
00:16:38my footing
00:16:38and get things
00:16:39off the ground,
00:16:40I have to play
00:16:40the game.
00:16:41I found a political
00:16:41angle I'm going
00:16:42to exploit.
00:16:43Yeah,
00:16:44I mean,
00:16:44I used to get
00:16:45these complaints
00:16:48from people,
00:16:49you know,
00:16:49hey man,
00:16:50you're a,
00:16:51I guess I was a
00:16:52minarchist,
00:16:53like a small
00:16:53government guy,
00:16:54and you don't,
00:16:55you do some work
00:16:56with people
00:16:56who work
00:16:57with the government,
00:16:58you do some work
00:16:59with the government
00:17:00itself,
00:17:03and I frankly,
00:17:04I could not care
00:17:06less about those
00:17:08objections.
00:17:08I just want to be
00:17:09really frank about that.
00:17:10I could not even
00:17:12remotely,
00:17:13in my wildest dreams,
00:17:15care less about
00:17:16these sorts of
00:17:17objections.
00:17:18I did not create
00:17:19the system.
00:17:20I am trying to
00:17:21change the system
00:17:22for the better.
00:17:24Oh,
00:17:24here's a low branch.
00:17:25Go around or go
00:17:26under?
00:17:27Let's go around.
00:17:29Look at that,
00:17:29low branch.
00:17:31So,
00:17:32I'm not responsible
00:17:33for the system,
00:17:33I did not create
00:17:34the system.
00:17:35Most of the
00:17:36catastrophes that
00:17:37occur within the
00:17:37system were put
00:17:38in place before
00:17:39I was even born.
00:17:41In 1965,
00:17:43welfare state,
00:17:43old age pensions,
00:17:44all go back to
00:17:44the 60s and
00:17:4630s.
00:17:46So,
00:17:47I don't,
00:17:50I don't feel
00:17:51any good or
00:17:53bad,
00:17:53about
00:17:56working within
00:17:56a system
00:17:57in order to
00:17:59try to fix
00:18:00it,
00:18:02given that I
00:18:03didn't create
00:18:03the system
00:18:03and I'm not
00:18:04at all
00:18:04responsible
00:18:06for the
00:18:07negatives of
00:18:08the system.
00:18:11Was some
00:18:12forms of the
00:18:13internet developed
00:18:13by the government?
00:18:14Yeah.
00:18:15Does that mean
00:18:15I shouldn't use
00:18:16the internet?
00:18:17Yeah.
00:18:19You know,
00:18:20I just,
00:18:20I just find,
00:18:21this is not
00:18:21you,
00:18:21this is,
00:18:22this is just
00:18:22people as a
00:18:23whole.
00:18:23I just find
00:18:24this,
00:18:24you know,
00:18:24well,
00:18:25moral purity
00:18:26is impossible
00:18:27in a stained
00:18:28system and
00:18:28it's like,
00:18:29yeah.
00:18:30So,
00:18:32my goal is
00:18:33the direction
00:18:33not where you
00:18:34are.
00:18:37if you wake
00:18:38up in an
00:18:40awful and
00:18:41excrement-filled
00:18:42sewer,
00:18:43then your goal
00:18:43should be to
00:18:44get out of the
00:18:44sewer,
00:18:45not to say how
00:18:46repulsive it is
00:18:47to be in the
00:18:48sewer.
00:18:48I mean,
00:18:49of course it's
00:18:49repulsive,
00:18:49but you
00:18:50shouldn't focus
00:18:50on that.
00:18:52So,
00:18:54with regards
00:18:55to the
00:18:55system,
00:18:56the money's
00:18:57going to be
00:18:58taxed,
00:18:58the money's
00:18:59going to be
00:18:59printed,
00:18:59the money's
00:19:00going to be
00:19:00given away.
00:19:01Either you
00:19:02take it,
00:19:03or your
00:19:04enemies take
00:19:04it.
00:19:04So,
00:19:05either you
00:19:05take it
00:19:05to do
00:19:06something
00:19:06good in
00:19:06the world
00:19:07or bad
00:19:08people take
00:19:09it to
00:19:10fund doing
00:19:10bad things
00:19:11in the
00:19:11world.
00:19:12You not
00:19:13taking the
00:19:14money does
00:19:14not mean
00:19:15it goes
00:19:15back to
00:19:16the
00:19:17taxpayers.
00:19:20I mean,
00:19:21I remember
00:19:21many years
00:19:22ago,
00:19:22I was in
00:19:23a pretty
00:19:24corrupt
00:19:24business
00:19:24situation
00:19:27and I
00:19:28had taken
00:19:28a monitor
00:19:29off-site
00:19:30to do
00:19:30some R&D.
00:19:32which was
00:19:33all fine.
00:19:33I didn't
00:19:33take it
00:19:34like it
00:19:34was.
00:19:34And then
00:19:35I parted
00:19:35ways in
00:19:37a pretty
00:19:37negative
00:19:38context
00:19:39in the
00:19:39business
00:19:40situation
00:19:41and I
00:19:41kept the
00:19:42monitor
00:19:42and I
00:19:43remember
00:19:44one of
00:19:45my friends
00:19:45saying,
00:19:46oh yeah,
00:19:46but you're
00:19:47really into
00:19:47property rights,
00:19:48you never
00:19:48gave that
00:19:48monitor back.
00:19:49I'm like,
00:19:49bro,
00:19:50this is
00:19:50like 0.0001%
00:19:53of what the
00:19:53unjustly took
00:19:54from me.
00:19:54The idea
00:19:55that,
00:19:55like,
00:19:56why don't
00:19:56you go
00:19:56nag them
00:19:57about all
00:19:57the things
00:19:57they did
00:19:58wrong rather
00:19:58than nagging
00:19:59me for
00:19:59hanging on
00:19:59to something
00:20:00like this,
00:20:00which is
00:20:01like not
00:20:02of value.
00:20:03So,
00:20:04I mean,
00:20:05compared to
00:20:05what was
00:20:06taken.
00:20:07So,
00:20:07yeah,
00:20:08it's,
00:20:10yeah,
00:20:10go and
00:20:11get the
00:20:12money and
00:20:12do good
00:20:13things with
00:20:13it and
00:20:14all of
00:20:15that.
00:20:15And don't
00:20:17trouble
00:20:18yourself,
00:20:18don't bother
00:20:19yourself.
00:20:20Now,
00:20:20this doesn't
00:20:20mean that
00:20:21you would
00:20:22necessarily
00:20:22want to
00:20:23join forces
00:20:24with the
00:20:24government
00:20:25in its
00:20:25worst
00:20:25manifestations,
00:20:27for sure,
00:20:27I mean,
00:20:28I get
00:20:28that.
00:20:30but as
00:20:31far as
00:20:32being
00:20:32concerned
00:20:32about,
00:20:33I mean,
00:20:33if this
00:20:34is taxpayer
00:20:34money,
00:20:35as far as
00:20:35being concerned
00:20:36about it,
00:20:36I mean,
00:20:37it's one
00:20:37thing where
00:20:38if you
00:20:40don't take
00:20:40the money,
00:20:41the money
00:20:41then goes
00:20:42back to
00:20:43people,
00:20:44but it
00:20:44doesn't,
00:20:44right?
00:20:45If you've
00:20:45ever worked
00:20:46in the
00:20:46government,
00:20:46and I did
00:20:47very briefly,
00:20:48but if you
00:20:48ever worked
00:20:48in the
00:20:49government,
00:20:49actually,
00:20:50I worked
00:20:50with the
00:20:50government a
00:20:51number of
00:20:51times,
00:20:51I worked
00:20:52in the
00:20:52government,
00:20:52I think
00:20:52once,
00:20:55then you
00:20:56know that
00:20:57the government
00:20:58will spend
00:20:59its money
00:21:02no matter
00:21:03what,
00:21:03because if
00:21:04they don't
00:21:04spend their
00:21:05money,
00:21:05they get
00:21:05less money
00:21:06in the
00:21:07next round
00:21:07of funding,
00:21:08right?
00:21:08So if they've
00:21:08got a
00:21:10billion dollar
00:21:11budget,
00:21:11and they only
00:21:12spend 900
00:21:13million,
00:21:13their concern
00:21:14is that they'll
00:21:14only get 900
00:21:15million dollars
00:21:16in the next
00:21:17budget round.
00:21:18So they will
00:21:19go and spend
00:21:20100 million
00:21:20dollars just to
00:21:21tough up their
00:21:22budget,
00:21:22and in a way,
00:21:23they don't even
00:21:24really care what
00:21:24it's on.
00:21:25So, I mean,
00:21:27that money is
00:21:27going out to
00:21:28the void,
00:21:29and you might
00:21:30as well get
00:21:30your money and
00:21:32use it to raise
00:21:33your family and
00:21:34do good with
00:21:36all of that,
00:21:39and it's
00:21:40perfectly legal,
00:21:41you're being
00:21:42taxed to pay
00:21:42for it anyway,
00:21:43there's nothing
00:21:44wrong with
00:21:45getting some of
00:21:46your tax money
00:21:46back and all
00:21:49of that,
00:21:49and you know,
00:21:50you work to
00:21:51improve the
00:21:51system,
00:21:51you work to
00:21:52improve
00:21:54society as
00:21:54a whole,
00:21:56and I
00:21:57don't really
00:21:58care,
00:21:58I mean,
00:21:59obviously,
00:21:59you don't
00:21:59want to do
00:22:00evil things
00:22:01directly,
00:22:01I get all
00:22:02of that,
00:22:02don't go
00:22:03up gas
00:22:03stations or
00:22:03whatever it
00:22:04is,
00:22:04right?
00:22:06But,
00:22:08working legally
00:22:08within the
00:22:09system to
00:22:10gain resources
00:22:11to do good
00:22:12and to raise
00:22:13peacefully
00:22:13parented
00:22:14children,
00:22:15go to it,
00:22:16I give you a
00:22:16paper blessing
00:22:17if that meant
00:22:17anything in this
00:22:18context.
00:22:19All right,
00:22:20so,
00:22:22what are the
00:22:23root causes
00:22:24of a terror
00:22:25of humiliation
00:22:26or embarrassment?
00:22:28Well,
00:22:28there's two.
00:22:30There's two.
00:22:31So,
00:22:33British people
00:22:34are famously
00:22:36shy of
00:22:37embarrassment.
00:22:38There's a great
00:22:38speech from
00:22:39John Cleese
00:22:40in A Fish
00:22:41Called Wanda
00:22:41about this,
00:22:43you know,
00:22:43like,
00:22:44oh,
00:22:44we live in
00:22:45terror,
00:22:45you know,
00:22:46you ask
00:22:46someone,
00:22:47how's your
00:22:47wife,
00:22:47and you
00:22:47find out
00:22:48that she
00:22:49died,
00:22:50you know,
00:22:51last month,
00:22:52and you're
00:22:52just crushed
00:22:53with embarrassment
00:22:54and horror
00:22:54and so on.
00:22:57And,
00:22:57the reason for
00:22:58that is
00:22:59quite simple,
00:23:00that England
00:23:00spent a
00:23:02number of
00:23:02centuries
00:23:04killing off
00:23:05people who
00:23:06were disapproved
00:23:07of socially.
00:23:08Now,
00:23:09of course,
00:23:09a lot of
00:23:09these were
00:23:10thieves,
00:23:11rapists,
00:23:12murderers,
00:23:12and so on,
00:23:12right?
00:23:13So,
00:23:13England
00:23:14spent
00:23:14hundreds
00:23:15and hundreds
00:23:16of years
00:23:17killing off
00:23:18people or
00:23:19economically
00:23:21or genetically
00:23:22disabling them,
00:23:23right?
00:23:23Put them in
00:23:24prison for the
00:23:24rest of their
00:23:24lives or send
00:23:25them to
00:23:25Australia where
00:23:27they can breed
00:23:28with kangaroos
00:23:29or something.
00:23:29I'm not a
00:23:29biologist,
00:23:30but something
00:23:30like that.
00:23:32So,
00:23:33in England,
00:23:36those who
00:23:37did not
00:23:38fear
00:23:40social
00:23:41disapproval
00:23:44died.
00:23:44or died
00:23:45off.
00:23:45Their genes
00:23:46died off.
00:23:47So,
00:23:47the only
00:23:48genes that
00:23:48were
00:23:49remained
00:23:49were those
00:23:50that were
00:23:52very
00:23:52concerned
00:23:53and frightened
00:23:54of
00:23:55social
00:23:56disapproval
00:23:57because social
00:23:58disapproval
00:23:58meant genetic
00:23:59death.
00:24:02And so,
00:24:04it is a
00:24:05multi-hundred-year
00:24:07program
00:24:09of ensuring
00:24:10that only
00:24:11those
00:24:11who care
00:24:13the most
00:24:13about social
00:24:14disapproval
00:24:14get to
00:24:15survive,
00:24:15which is
00:24:16why you
00:24:16end up
00:24:17with an
00:24:17internally
00:24:18policed
00:24:18high-trust
00:24:19society.
00:24:22And that
00:24:23process has
00:24:23gone on.
00:24:24In other
00:24:24cultures,
00:24:25they tend
00:24:26to promote
00:24:26the most
00:24:27aggressive
00:24:27or violent
00:24:29and,
00:24:30I mean,
00:24:30I'm sure you
00:24:31know about
00:24:31the fox
00:24:32experiment by
00:24:32the Russian
00:24:35breeder.
00:24:36he took
00:24:38foxes,
00:24:40divided them
00:24:40into two
00:24:41groups,
00:24:42the most
00:24:42and least
00:24:43aggressive,
00:24:44and he
00:24:45had the
00:24:45least
00:24:45aggressive
00:24:46breed,
00:24:46but the
00:24:46least
00:24:46aggressive
00:24:47and the
00:24:47most
00:24:47aggressive
00:24:47breed,
00:24:48but the
00:24:48most
00:24:48aggressive,
00:24:49and within
00:24:49a very
00:24:50short
00:24:50amount
00:24:50of time,
00:24:51a couple
00:24:51of generations,
00:24:52he ended
00:24:53up with
00:24:53tame
00:24:55foxes
00:24:56and crazy
00:24:56aggressive
00:24:57pitbull-style
00:24:58foxes.
00:25:01So if
00:25:02you're
00:25:03sort of
00:25:03from
00:25:03northwestern
00:25:05Europe
00:25:05in
00:25:05particular,
00:25:09then the
00:25:11reason why
00:25:12you're afraid
00:25:12of humiliation
00:25:13and embarrassment
00:25:13is because
00:25:16your ancestors
00:25:17survived by
00:25:19having a
00:25:21heavy focus
00:25:22on being
00:25:24approved of
00:25:24socially,
00:25:25and because
00:25:26of that,
00:25:27you,
00:25:28exist,
00:25:29and therefore
00:25:30you have a
00:25:31very heightened
00:25:32genetic
00:25:33response to
00:25:34humiliation
00:25:35and embarrassment
00:25:36and social
00:25:39disapproval.
00:25:40So women,
00:25:41of course,
00:25:42would not want
00:25:43to breed
00:25:44with men
00:25:45in England
00:25:46when this
00:25:47whole process
00:25:48was going
00:25:48on.
00:25:49Women would
00:25:50not want
00:25:50to breed
00:25:51with men
00:25:55who did
00:25:56not care
00:25:56about social
00:25:57cues,
00:25:58because those
00:25:59men would
00:25:59be more
00:26:00likely to
00:26:00run afoul
00:26:01of society
00:26:01and get
00:26:02killed,
00:26:02imprisoned,
00:26:03or exiled.
00:26:05And, you
00:26:06know, this is
00:26:06probably more
00:26:07true of the
00:26:08upper classes
00:26:09to a large
00:26:10degree, but
00:26:11it's fairly
00:26:12true as a
00:26:12whole.
00:26:14So,
00:26:16that's one
00:26:16reason.
00:26:17And this is
00:26:18why a lot
00:26:19of people have
00:26:19a great fear
00:26:20of public
00:26:20speaking,
00:26:21speaking.
00:26:22Because public
00:26:23speaking was
00:26:24generally your
00:26:25last-dish effort
00:26:26to save your
00:26:27life when
00:26:27society turned
00:26:28on you and
00:26:29you were
00:26:30accused of
00:26:30something terrible
00:26:32and then you
00:26:33were allowed to
00:26:33speak in your
00:26:34own defense.
00:26:34Well, you
00:26:35didn't want to
00:26:35end up in
00:26:36that kind of
00:26:36situation at
00:26:37all, right?
00:26:37Because it
00:26:38meant things
00:26:38were going
00:26:38very badly
00:26:39to you.
00:26:40So,
00:26:42because of
00:26:42that,
00:26:45we don't
00:26:46like public
00:26:46speaking.
00:26:48We want to
00:26:49avoid situations
00:26:49of public
00:26:50speaking because
00:26:51public speaking
00:26:51generally occurred
00:26:53after being
00:26:53called out for
00:26:54some horrible
00:26:55crime that
00:26:55would lead to
00:26:55genetic death
00:26:56in one way,
00:26:57form, or
00:26:58another.
00:27:00Hmm.
00:27:01Quite ghoul-enabled.
00:27:03Right, see, this
00:27:03is me without
00:27:06skin softening.
00:27:07So, all right.
00:27:09Hey, you know
00:27:09what?
00:27:10Pushing 60, I'm
00:27:11good with it.
00:27:11I'm good with
00:27:13it.
00:27:14Aging is
00:27:15great.
00:27:16I love being
00:27:17in a time of
00:27:17life where all
00:27:18my major
00:27:19decisions have
00:27:19been made.
00:27:20I love it.
00:27:21I know how
00:27:22many kids I'm
00:27:22going to have.
00:27:23I know who
00:27:24I'm going to
00:27:24spend the rest
00:27:24of my life
00:27:25with, which
00:27:25is my wife.
00:27:27I know what
00:27:27I'm going to
00:27:28be doing with
00:27:29my life, which
00:27:29is wandering
00:27:30the woods,
00:27:31crying my barbaric
00:27:32yorps to the
00:27:33rooftops of the
00:27:34world, and echoing
00:27:35chimes of infinite
00:27:36reason, and all
00:27:38of those decisions.
00:27:39You know, I
00:27:40haven't had those
00:27:41in years, but
00:27:43you ever have
00:27:43those dreams
00:27:44where you forget
00:27:45your exam, or
00:27:46you have an
00:27:47exam that you're
00:27:48not ready for?
00:27:48I mean, that's
00:27:49all in the past
00:27:50for me.
00:27:50I know exactly
00:27:51what I'm going
00:27:51to be doing
00:27:52for the rest
00:27:52of my life, and
00:27:54who I'm going
00:27:55to be doing
00:27:55it with.
00:27:56It's a
00:27:57beautiful place
00:27:57to be.
00:27:58A lovely,
00:27:59lovely place
00:27:59to be.
00:28:00So, aging
00:28:04is beautiful.
00:28:04Now, of course,
00:28:05I'm still
00:28:06only 59.8, so
00:28:10the worst
00:28:10is yet to
00:28:11come, but
00:28:12this is a
00:28:12sweet spot
00:28:14of happiness,
00:28:15contentment,
00:28:16security,
00:28:17beauty, and
00:28:18thank you for
00:28:18all of that.
00:28:20In the
00:28:21family,
00:28:23right, so
00:28:24families had
00:28:25to raise
00:28:26children when
00:28:27social disapproval
00:28:28meant genetic
00:28:28death, then
00:28:30there was no
00:28:30point having
00:28:31children unless
00:28:31you got
00:28:32them to
00:28:32obey social
00:28:34rules, and
00:28:34it didn't
00:28:35really matter
00:28:35what the
00:28:35content of
00:28:36those social
00:28:36rules was,
00:28:37you had to
00:28:37obey the
00:28:38social rules.
00:28:39No, it's
00:28:39just a fact.
00:28:45So, parents
00:28:46had to
00:28:49inflict ostracism
00:28:50or threats
00:28:50of ostracism.
00:28:51I keep
00:28:52walking through
00:28:52spider webs.
00:28:53Hopefully,
00:28:53nothing's going
00:28:54to bite my
00:28:54jugular.
00:28:55Let's find
00:28:55out, shall
00:28:56we?
00:28:57Maybe this
00:28:57is going
00:28:57to be found
00:28:58footage down
00:28:59the road.
00:28:59But,
00:29:02parents had
00:29:03to inflict
00:29:05the threat
00:29:06of ostracism
00:29:07on their
00:29:07children.
00:29:09Otherwise,
00:29:11those children
00:29:11would grow up,
00:29:12break social
00:29:12rules, and
00:29:13it would be
00:29:13genetic death,
00:29:14and really
00:29:14what's the
00:29:14point of
00:29:15having children
00:29:15if they
00:29:15themselves
00:29:16are not
00:29:16going to
00:29:16have
00:29:16children?
00:29:17Oh, how
00:29:18pretty, right?
00:29:19Lovely little
00:29:20spot.
00:29:21So,
00:29:24your parents
00:29:24have to
00:29:25shame and
00:29:26bully you,
00:29:29and that's
00:29:30part of,
00:29:31it's all
00:29:31part of
00:29:31growing up
00:29:32and being
00:29:32British.
00:29:33I remember
00:29:33being at
00:29:34a friend's
00:29:35place,
00:29:36and he
00:29:37was playing
00:29:37a video
00:29:38game,
00:29:38his parents
00:29:38were in
00:29:38the room,
00:29:39he was
00:29:39playing a
00:29:40video game,
00:29:41and he
00:29:41pulled off
00:29:42this amazing
00:29:42move,
00:29:43and I
00:29:44quoted
00:29:45from
00:29:46Monty
00:29:47Python's
00:29:50Life of
00:29:51Brian.
00:29:51A guy
00:29:52steps off
00:29:53a bridge
00:29:54and is
00:29:55caught by
00:29:55space aliens
00:29:56and goes
00:29:57all over
00:29:57the universe,
00:29:58comes back,
00:29:58crashes,
00:29:59and walks
00:29:59away from
00:30:00the crash.
00:30:01And a
00:30:02passerby says,
00:30:03oh, you
00:30:04jammy bastard,
00:30:06which means
00:30:06you lucky
00:30:08guy.
00:30:08And I
00:30:09thought it
00:30:09was a
00:30:09pretty funny
00:30:10line,
00:30:10and I
00:30:11was like
00:30:11maybe 12
00:30:12or 13,
00:30:13and I
00:30:16said,
00:30:17when this
00:30:17guy pulled
00:30:18off this
00:30:18amazing move
00:30:19on a video
00:30:19game,
00:30:20I said,
00:30:20oh, you
00:30:21jammy
00:30:21bastard,
00:30:23quoting the
00:30:23movie.
00:30:24And of
00:30:24course,
00:30:25my brother
00:30:25kicked me
00:30:27hard in
00:30:28a subterranean
00:30:29fashion and
00:30:30gave me a
00:30:31glare of
00:30:33how could
00:30:34you possibly
00:30:34say something
00:30:35like this.
00:30:35Now, of
00:30:36course, he
00:30:36had quoted
00:30:37this line
00:30:37countless
00:30:37times,
00:30:39but it
00:30:40was bad,
00:30:41you see,
00:30:41it was
00:30:41bad.
00:30:41It's funny
00:30:42things I
00:30:43remember
00:30:43from almost
00:30:4650 years
00:30:47ago.
00:30:48And that
00:30:49is like
00:30:51disapproved
00:30:51of.
00:30:52I remember
00:30:53lining up.
00:30:53I was
00:30:54lining up
00:30:55to get
00:30:55tickets
00:30:57to a
00:30:58show.
00:31:00I thought
00:31:01it was
00:31:01in the
00:31:01lineup.
00:31:01Turns out
00:31:02that there
00:31:02was just
00:31:02a gap
00:31:02for people
00:31:03to get
00:31:03through.
00:31:05And there
00:31:05was this
00:31:06stodgy
00:31:06British
00:31:07couple
00:31:07behind me
00:31:08who said
00:31:08when I
00:31:09got into
00:31:09line,
00:31:10and apparently
00:31:10I'd cut
00:31:11in front
00:31:11of them,
00:31:11we said,
00:31:12well,
00:31:12that's a
00:31:12bit much.
00:31:13Well,
00:31:14that's a
00:31:14bit much.
00:31:15There's
00:31:15contempt and
00:31:16scorn and
00:31:17all this
00:31:17sort of
00:31:17stuff.
00:31:18It's very
00:31:18big,
00:31:19of course,
00:31:19in Japanese
00:31:20culture as
00:31:21well.
00:31:23In Japan,
00:31:24sometimes people
00:31:25will have
00:31:25operations so
00:31:26that they
00:31:26can't blush
00:31:26anymore because
00:31:27they don't
00:31:27want it to
00:31:28give themselves
00:31:29away in
00:31:29negotiations.
00:31:31I'm literally
00:31:31Frodo with
00:31:32Shelob at the
00:31:33moment.
00:31:33I'm so
00:31:33covered in
00:31:35spider webs.
00:31:36Sorry,
00:31:37spiders.
00:31:37I know you
00:31:38worked hard,
00:31:39but your
00:31:40spangly butt
00:31:40juice is now
00:31:41my lively
00:31:43cocoon.
00:31:44I love the
00:31:45way my
00:31:45language brain
00:31:46works.
00:31:46Where do
00:31:47these sentences
00:31:47come from?
00:31:48I don't know,
00:31:49but they're
00:31:49fun.
00:31:51It's also
00:31:52personal.
00:31:53But yeah,
00:31:54it's a
00:31:54survival
00:31:54mechanism.
00:31:56It's a
00:31:57survival
00:31:58mechanism.
00:32:00The
00:32:00difference
00:32:03between
00:32:03categories of
00:32:04emergent
00:32:05properties and
00:32:05relationships
00:32:06slash
00:32:06associations
00:32:07seems to
00:32:07be a
00:32:07major
00:32:07root of
00:32:08profound
00:32:09problems
00:32:09between
00:32:10people and
00:32:10ideas.
00:32:10Take,
00:32:11for example,
00:32:11trees,
00:32:11emergent
00:32:12property,
00:32:12versus a
00:32:13forest,
00:32:14association,
00:32:14or relationship.
00:32:15What do
00:32:15you think?
00:32:15It is
00:32:16tough.
00:32:16It is
00:32:17tough for
00:32:19people to
00:32:21say that
00:32:23trees exist
00:32:28and forests
00:32:29don't.
00:32:29Now, of
00:32:30course, I
00:32:31understand that
00:32:35when we say
00:32:36trees exist,
00:32:37trees exist,
00:32:38sorry, plural,
00:32:39singular, trees
00:32:40exist and forests
00:32:41don't, well, the
00:32:42tree is a
00:32:43label for
00:32:43something as
00:32:44well.
00:32:45Frankly, the
00:32:46only thing that
00:32:47exists are
00:32:48atoms and
00:32:49energy.
00:32:52The only
00:32:52things that
00:32:53exist are
00:32:53atoms and
00:32:54energy.
00:32:56So, when
00:32:57it comes to
00:33:00a tree,
00:33:01right, we
00:33:01got some
00:33:02around here,
00:33:03right, here's
00:33:04our forest,
00:33:05here's our
00:33:05individual trees.
00:33:06The forest
00:33:07doesn't exist
00:33:08because it's
00:33:09not an
00:33:09aggregation of
00:33:10atoms.
00:33:11You could say
00:33:11that the
00:33:11roots kind
00:33:12of get
00:33:12entangled
00:33:12and so on,
00:33:13but it's
00:33:13still discrete
00:33:13entities.
00:33:15The trees
00:33:16exist, it's
00:33:17our label
00:33:18for the
00:33:18aggregation of
00:33:19matter and
00:33:20energy, the
00:33:21trunk, the
00:33:22cellulose, the
00:33:24chlorophyll, the
00:33:24leaves, the
00:33:25branches, blah,
00:33:25blah, blah,
00:33:26the bark.
00:33:26So, the
00:33:28label, tree,
00:33:31is actually
00:33:32for something
00:33:34that you can
00:33:34touch, right?
00:33:35So, here I am.
00:33:37I touch the
00:33:38tree, I cannot
00:33:38pass through the
00:33:39tree.
00:33:41However, I can
00:33:42pass through the
00:33:42forest, he
00:33:44said with his
00:33:44light-up chin.
00:33:45So, I can
00:33:46pass through the
00:33:46forest, I cannot
00:33:48pass through the
00:33:49tree.
00:33:49The tree is
00:33:50tightly packed,
00:33:51matter and
00:33:51energy, the
00:33:52forest is an
00:33:53abstraction to
00:33:54describe this
00:33:55here aggregation
00:33:57of trees.
00:34:04So, yeah,
00:34:05people do have
00:34:05a tough time
00:34:07with concepts
00:34:08that don't
00:34:08exist, and
00:34:08that's because
00:34:10people live
00:34:12in concepts.
00:34:14They live in
00:34:15gods, they
00:34:16live in
00:34:17countries, they
00:34:19live in
00:34:19collectivizations of
00:34:21just about every
00:34:21kind, and
00:34:24because people
00:34:25live in
00:34:26concepts, they
00:34:28have a very
00:34:29tough time saying
00:34:30the concepts
00:34:30don't exist.
00:34:31It would be
00:34:32like, the
00:34:34equivalent would
00:34:35be if somebody,
00:34:36like here I am
00:34:37walking through
00:34:37the woods,
00:34:38right, and
00:34:39if somebody
00:34:40were able to
00:34:41prove to me
00:34:42that these
00:34:43woods that I
00:34:43am walking
00:34:44through, this
00:34:44is my eye
00:34:45level, the
00:34:46woods that I'm
00:34:47walking through
00:34:47are just a
00:34:48simulation, it's
00:34:49not real, I'm
00:34:50in some sort of
00:34:50holodeck or
00:34:51some sort of
00:34:51matrix-style
00:34:52simulation or
00:34:53something like
00:34:53that, right?
00:34:54So, if somebody
00:34:55would have
00:34:56proved that to
00:34:56me, it would
00:34:58dissolve my
00:34:58sense of
00:34:59reality and I
00:34:59would feel
00:35:00insane, that
00:35:02that which I
00:35:03think exists,
00:35:04right?
00:35:04Like, if I
00:35:06were to, you
00:35:07know, here's
00:35:08my hand, here's
00:35:08the tree, right?
00:35:09If I were to
00:35:10try and put my
00:35:11hand through the
00:35:11tree, right, I'll
00:35:13never be able to
00:35:13put my hand
00:35:14through the
00:35:14tree, it will
00:35:15never happen.
00:35:16However, if
00:35:19somebody were to
00:35:20say to me, if
00:35:20you don't believe
00:35:21in the tree, you
00:35:21can pass your
00:35:22hand through it,
00:35:23if I were to
00:35:24turn the tree
00:35:27from a thing, an
00:35:28object, to a
00:35:29concept, I can
00:35:30walk through the
00:35:31concept of a
00:35:31forest, there's
00:35:32nothing barring me,
00:35:33even a tightly
00:35:34packed forest I
00:35:35can cut my way
00:35:35through, I
00:35:35certainly have
00:35:36in the past.
00:35:36So, if I
00:35:38were to, if
00:35:39somebody were
00:35:40to say to
00:35:40me, but if
00:35:40you don't
00:35:40believe in
00:35:41the tree, you
00:35:41can put your
00:35:42hand through
00:35:42it, that
00:35:43would blow
00:35:44my gourd,
00:35:45man, and
00:35:46that would
00:35:46absolutely shatter
00:35:48my sense of
00:35:49empirical reality.
00:35:51It would be
00:35:51the equivalent,
00:35:52it would be the
00:35:53equivalent to
00:35:53me of losing
00:35:55my mind.
00:35:57Because when
00:35:58you lose your
00:35:58mind, you see
00:35:59things that
00:35:59aren't there,
00:36:00and you don't
00:36:01see things that
00:36:01aren't there.
00:36:03You live in a
00:36:04hallucination.
00:36:04So, if
00:36:05somebody would
00:36:05have proved to
00:36:05me that
00:36:09empirical reality
00:36:11was a
00:36:11hallucination, and
00:36:13that there were
00:36:14no properties
00:36:14outside of the
00:36:15mind that could
00:36:16not be changed
00:36:16by the mind,
00:36:18like a video
00:36:18game, right?
00:36:19You can make
00:36:19people fly, you
00:36:20can make people
00:36:23burrow, and so
00:36:24on, right?
00:36:24so, if someone
00:36:26were to
00:36:28approve to
00:36:29me that I
00:36:31could walk
00:36:31through a tree
00:36:32if I
00:36:32disbelieved in
00:36:33it, that
00:36:33would have
00:36:35me feel
00:36:36insane, because
00:36:37then the
00:36:37great danger
00:36:38would be that
00:36:39if I, you
00:36:40know, the
00:36:40clipping
00:36:41problem, you
00:36:41ever have this
00:36:42where you
00:36:42fall through
00:36:42a map, in
00:36:43a video game
00:36:44you look up
00:36:44and you see
00:36:45the map
00:36:45sort of
00:36:45flying away
00:36:46up, so
00:36:48if I
00:36:49could walk
00:36:49through a
00:36:50tree, or
00:36:51my hand
00:36:51could shimmer
00:36:52through a
00:36:52tree, if
00:36:54I didn't
00:36:54believe in
00:36:55the tree,
00:36:58then the
00:36:59great danger
00:36:59would be that
00:37:00I would
00:37:00stop believing
00:37:00in the
00:37:01ground, I
00:37:01would fall
00:37:02through the
00:37:03ground
00:37:03forever, I
00:37:03don't know
00:37:04what that
00:37:04would be,
00:37:04but I
00:37:05would be
00:37:05lost to
00:37:06the world,
00:37:07my genes
00:37:07would be
00:37:07lost to
00:37:08reproduction,
00:37:09etc, etc,
00:37:10etc.
00:37:11So, people
00:37:12live in
00:37:14cloud castles,
00:37:15and they
00:37:16don't like to
00:37:16find out
00:37:17that these
00:37:17cloud castles
00:37:18aren't real
00:37:18in the
00:37:18same way
00:37:19that you
00:37:20don't want
00:37:20to wake
00:37:20up and
00:37:22realize that
00:37:22your entire
00:37:23life has
00:37:23been a
00:37:23psychotic
00:37:24delusion.
00:37:25See, this
00:37:26is why I
00:37:26love what
00:37:27I'm doing
00:37:27in the
00:37:27moment,
00:37:28because this
00:37:28is fantastic
00:37:29stuff, I'm
00:37:30explaining, so
00:37:30people live in
00:37:31concepts, they
00:37:31are patriotic
00:37:33to their
00:37:34countries,
00:37:34countries don't
00:37:35exist, it's
00:37:36a, you can
00:37:37walk through a
00:37:37country, right?
00:37:39They are,
00:37:40they cheer on
00:37:41their sports
00:37:42teams,
00:37:43their sports
00:37:44teams, I
00:37:46mean, the
00:37:46people exist,
00:37:47but loyalty to
00:37:48the sports
00:37:48team is just
00:37:49an accidental
00:37:50geographic
00:37:51proximity.
00:37:52Go Lakers!
00:37:55So, they
00:37:56worship gods,
00:37:58gods do not
00:37:59exist, they
00:37:59worship saints,
00:38:00they worship
00:38:01popes, as if the
00:38:02popes have a
00:38:03magical connection
00:38:03to the ultimate
00:38:04AI of God,
00:38:05which they
00:38:05don't, of
00:38:06course.
00:38:07So, people
00:38:08live, and also
00:38:09they say, you
00:38:10do for family,
00:38:11you do for
00:38:12family, my
00:38:12family is the
00:38:13best, everything
00:38:14is for the
00:38:14family, honor
00:38:15thy mother and
00:38:16thy father.
00:38:16Well, mother
00:38:17and father are
00:38:19concepts, we
00:38:20don't honor
00:38:21concepts, we
00:38:23honor individuals,
00:38:24we don't honor
00:38:24people for being
00:38:25mothers or
00:38:25fathers, we
00:38:27honor people for
00:38:28their virtues,
00:38:29which is, of
00:38:30course, it
00:38:31overlaps, there
00:38:31are mothers and
00:38:33fathers who are
00:38:33very virtuous,
00:38:35there are people
00:38:35who aren't
00:38:36mothers or
00:38:36fathers who are
00:38:37stone evil,
00:38:39so, there
00:38:40is some
00:38:40overlap, but
00:38:41it's not
00:38:41one-to-one.
00:38:43So, bad
00:38:44people want
00:38:46you to
00:38:46worship concepts
00:38:49because then
00:38:49they don't
00:38:50have to
00:38:50actually be
00:38:50good, right?
00:38:54So, somebody
00:38:55who's a bad
00:38:55entrepreneur will
00:38:56say, the
00:38:57government should
00:38:58give money to
00:38:58entrepreneurs because
00:38:59that's a category,
00:39:00but some
00:39:01entrepreneurs are
00:39:01very bad, most
00:39:02are not great
00:39:03because most
00:39:04businesses fail.
00:39:05So, people
00:39:07want to create
00:39:10concepts,
00:39:12abstractions,
00:39:13and then have
00:39:14you worship
00:39:16those abstractions.
00:39:19And then they
00:39:20inhabit those
00:39:21abstractions and
00:39:22they get the
00:39:24splash damage
00:39:24worship from
00:39:25inhabiting those
00:39:27abstractions.
00:39:29So, you know,
00:39:30teachers and
00:39:30bosses and
00:39:31parents will
00:39:32say things like,
00:39:35don't be
00:39:36disrespectful.
00:39:37you owe me
00:39:38respect.
00:39:39It's like, no
00:39:40I don't.
00:39:41I owe you
00:39:42nothing but
00:39:43justice.
00:39:44I owe you
00:39:44justice.
00:39:45If you do
00:39:45actions worthy
00:39:46of respect, I
00:39:47owe you
00:39:47respect.
00:39:48If you do
00:39:48actions worthy
00:39:49of contempt, I
00:39:50owe you
00:39:51contempt.
00:39:51And I always
00:39:52pay my bills,
00:39:53both credits
00:39:54and debits.
00:39:56So, people
00:39:56will say, well,
00:39:57I'm a teacher.
00:39:58You should
00:39:58respect me because
00:39:59of the category
00:40:00teacher.
00:40:00It's like, nope.
00:40:02Nope.
00:40:04No, I won't
00:40:05do that.
00:40:06I will never
00:40:06do that.
00:40:07I will never
00:40:08do that.
00:40:09And so, it's
00:40:10very tough for
00:40:11people who live
00:40:12their entire
00:40:12lives in
00:40:16concepts, in
00:40:17abstractions, and
00:40:18things that don't
00:40:18exist and are
00:40:19just used to
00:40:19manipulate them.
00:40:20If you say
00:40:21those things
00:40:21don't exist,
00:40:22they feel like
00:40:22they're losing
00:40:24their minds.
00:40:26And in a way,
00:40:27they are.
00:40:27They're losing
00:40:27their mindlessness.
00:40:28They are waking
00:40:29up to NPCs.
00:40:31They're NPC-dom,
00:40:32which is very
00:40:32tough.
00:40:34All right.
00:40:34Gosh, it's
00:40:34already been
00:40:3540 minutes.
00:40:38Why do people
00:40:39constantly join
00:40:39team-based sports,
00:40:40soccer, basketball,
00:40:41hockey, video
00:40:41games, just to
00:40:42be selfish?
00:40:43Even bashing or
00:40:44insulting teammates
00:40:44when losing,
00:40:45instead of being
00:40:46uplifting and
00:40:46inspiring, are
00:40:47countered by
00:40:48being positive.
00:40:49Hands getting a
00:40:50little timed
00:40:50here.
00:40:51Let me just
00:40:52raise this up a
00:40:53little so I
00:40:53don't have to
00:40:55raise my arm
00:40:55quite so much.
00:40:57The mechanics of
00:40:58philosophy are
00:40:59essential.
00:41:00I like team-based
00:41:01sports.
00:41:01I mean, I'm
00:41:02just telling you
00:41:02whether that's
00:41:03a preference or
00:41:04a prejudice
00:41:05remains to be
00:41:06seen.
00:41:06But yeah, I
00:41:08like team-based
00:41:08sports myself.
00:41:10And let's try
00:41:11this way.
00:41:13Team-based
00:41:13sports is how
00:41:14we evolve.
00:41:15So when you
00:41:16look at people's
00:41:17makeup, you
00:41:18don't look at
00:41:19them as if we
00:41:20have no genetic
00:41:21history or
00:41:22filtering history.
00:41:23So why do
00:41:25sports exist?
00:41:26Sports exist to
00:41:28train people for
00:41:29war.
00:41:30And not just
00:41:31the people who
00:41:32are playing the
00:41:32sports, but
00:41:33everyone else.
00:41:33You're supposed
00:41:34to cheer as
00:41:35magically,
00:41:37universally good
00:41:40the people who
00:41:41you are in
00:41:42physical proximity
00:41:43to.
00:41:44My tribe's
00:41:45warriors are
00:41:46magnificent,
00:41:46wonderful,
00:41:47great, and
00:41:47virtuous, and
00:41:48the other tribe's
00:41:49warriors are
00:41:49terrible, and
00:41:50evil, and
00:41:51wretched, and
00:41:52malevolent, and
00:41:52so on.
00:41:53Sorry.
00:41:55Hoisting around
00:41:56here.
00:41:57This is like
00:41:57flying through.
00:42:01Just a floating
00:42:02leaf.
00:42:02Oh, and a
00:42:03butterfly.
00:42:04Bubble-yai, as
00:42:05my daughter used
00:42:05to say.
00:42:07So sports is
00:42:08training for
00:42:09hunting and
00:42:09war.
00:42:11We understand
00:42:12all of that,
00:42:12right?
00:42:13So why do
00:42:15people, in
00:42:19men in
00:42:19particular, but
00:42:20often it happens,
00:42:21why do people
00:42:21join teams?
00:42:22Because we
00:42:23evolved with
00:42:24teams, and
00:42:25the genes that
00:42:27survived were
00:42:27those who
00:42:29mindlessly, and
00:42:30I don't say
00:42:30that as an
00:42:30insult, it's
00:42:31a necessary
00:42:31thing, but
00:42:32people who
00:42:33survived were
00:42:33those who
00:42:33mindlessly
00:42:34cheered on
00:42:35their own
00:42:35team, rather
00:42:38than, or
00:42:38you know, if
00:42:39things are
00:42:39going badly,
00:42:40then you
00:42:40betray and
00:42:40switch to
00:42:41the other
00:42:41team.
00:42:41Women do
00:42:42this a lot,
00:42:43which is why
00:42:44women, when
00:42:45they feel that
00:42:45their men are
00:42:45losing, which
00:42:46is currently
00:42:47the case in
00:42:47the West,
00:42:48women as a
00:42:49whole start to
00:42:50shift their
00:42:50sympathies towards
00:42:51the invaders,
00:42:52so that they
00:42:53will survive the
00:42:54decimation of
00:42:55their own males,
00:42:56and be able to
00:42:57reproduce with
00:42:58the invaders,
00:42:58right, so
00:42:59women have to
00:42:59switch loyalties
00:43:00on a dime, or
00:43:02of course, to
00:43:02put it my usual
00:43:03other way, women
00:43:04who refuse to
00:43:05switch loyalties
00:43:06did not survive,
00:43:07their genes did
00:43:07not survive, so
00:43:09women are loyal
00:43:10to power, because
00:43:11women are subject
00:43:12to power through
00:43:13almost all of
00:43:14human evolution,
00:43:15so, yeah, why
00:43:16do people now, why
00:43:17do men trash
00:43:18talk each other?
00:43:19Well, there's
00:43:20pretty solid
00:43:21studies out there
00:43:21that show that
00:43:22men who trash
00:43:23talk other men
00:43:25are actually better
00:43:26friends, like they'll
00:43:27do more things for
00:43:28you, they'll
00:43:28sacrifice more
00:43:29things for you,
00:43:29they'll be nicer
00:43:30for you, they'll
00:43:32go out on a limb
00:43:33for you, help you
00:43:34move, whatever,
00:43:34right?
00:43:35So, the reason
00:43:36why men trash
00:43:39talk each other
00:43:39in sports is
00:43:42because in
00:43:44hunting and
00:43:44war, if you're
00:43:46not in a raw
00:43:47meritocracy, you're
00:43:49going to lose,
00:43:51right?
00:43:52So, in hunting,
00:43:53if you have three
00:43:53spears, you have
00:43:55to give your
00:43:55spears to the
00:43:57very best
00:43:57spear thrower,
00:43:59otherwise your
00:44:00tribe is going
00:44:00to starve to
00:44:01death and
00:44:01you're all
00:44:01going to die.
00:44:02I'm not
00:44:02kidding about
00:44:03this, right?
00:44:04Meritocracy is
00:44:05life, which is
00:44:06why any attack
00:44:06upon meritocracy
00:44:08is an attack
00:44:08upon the
00:44:09survival of
00:44:09the civilization
00:44:10itself, which
00:44:11is why I've
00:44:12railed against
00:44:12these things
00:44:13for many, many
00:44:14years.
00:44:16So, the
00:44:17reason why men
00:44:18trash talk each
00:44:18other is ego
00:44:20or vanity is the
00:44:22opposite of
00:44:23meritocracy.
00:44:24So, if John
00:44:25Deacon, who
00:44:26was not a
00:44:26singer, said,
00:44:28Freddie Mercury,
00:44:29you should play
00:44:29the bass and
00:44:30I'll be the
00:44:30singer, well,
00:44:31Freddie Mercury
00:44:32was a great
00:44:32singer and
00:44:32performer, and
00:44:34so Freddie Mercury
00:44:35should do it for
00:44:36the best of the
00:44:36band, right?
00:44:40So, obviously,
00:44:41John Deacon had
00:44:43to put his ego
00:44:43aside and do
00:44:44what was best
00:44:44for the band.
00:44:45Take a silly
00:44:46example, right?
00:44:47So, the reason
00:44:49why men
00:44:49trash talk each
00:44:50other is to
00:44:52make sure that
00:44:53vanity does not
00:44:54grow to the
00:44:55point that it
00:44:56overwhelms
00:44:59meritocracy and
00:45:02destroys the
00:45:02tribe.
00:45:04So, that's
00:45:05why men, you
00:45:07know, everybody
00:45:08wants to be the
00:45:10Ulysses, everybody
00:45:11wants to be the
00:45:14head, the
00:45:15chieftain,
00:45:16everybody wants
00:45:16to be in
00:45:17charge, everybody
00:45:17wants to be the
00:45:19alpha, and so
00:45:19on, but the
00:45:21only way that the
00:45:21tribe can survive
00:45:22is if only the
00:45:24best person gets
00:45:25the resources, and
00:45:27capitalism is just
00:45:28an extension of
00:45:29that.
00:45:31So, yeah, you
00:45:33have to trash
00:45:33talk to make
00:45:35sure that people
00:45:35don't get angry.
00:45:37It's the old
00:45:37thing like in
00:45:39Sotter or in,
00:45:42let's see, what
00:45:43else, volleyball.
00:45:44So, in
00:45:44volleyball, we've
00:45:45all gone through
00:45:45this process.
00:45:46If you've ever
00:45:47played volleyball,
00:45:49it's three
00:45:52bumps or
00:45:53hand flicks on
00:45:56each side.
00:45:58So, the ball
00:45:58goes over, you
00:45:59get one, two,
00:46:00three, and then
00:46:00on the third
00:46:01one it has to
00:46:01go back over.
00:46:02So, what you
00:46:03generally do is
00:46:04you will do a
00:46:04set, you'll set
00:46:05it up.
00:46:06So, what you'll
00:46:07do is send it
00:46:08high, close to
00:46:09the net, so
00:46:09that somebody can
00:46:10spike it.
00:46:11So, everybody
00:46:12goes through this
00:46:12process, and
00:46:13what they do
00:46:14is they say
00:46:15to themselves,
00:46:17I'm going to
00:46:18try and set
00:46:20this person up
00:46:21with a good
00:46:22spike, right?
00:46:23And that's what
00:46:24everybody says.
00:46:25And we try
00:46:26this, right?
00:46:29And if the
00:46:30person fumbles
00:46:31the ball
00:46:32repeatedly, then
00:46:34everybody who
00:46:34wants a decent
00:46:35game, assuming
00:46:35you're not just
00:46:36practicing, says,
00:46:38okay, well, I'm
00:46:39not going to
00:46:40send the ball to
00:46:42this person
00:46:42anymore, because
00:46:45they, I'm just
00:46:46losing the point.
00:46:47So, instead of
00:46:48setting it up,
00:46:49one, two,
00:46:50three, I'm just
00:46:51going to send it
00:46:51back over the
00:46:52net.
00:46:54It's the same
00:46:54thing with soccer,
00:46:55of course, you're
00:46:56going down.
00:46:57Towards the
00:46:57enemy goal, or
00:46:58the opposing
00:46:59team's goal, and
00:47:01you're going to
00:47:01pass the ball or
00:47:02not.
00:47:03If you pass the
00:47:03ball, that's good,
00:47:04because people are
00:47:04swarming you, you
00:47:05pass the ball,
00:47:06somebody else can
00:47:06have a clear
00:47:06shot.
00:47:08And if you pass
00:47:09the ball, and
00:47:11the other person
00:47:12screws it up,
00:47:13right, they kick
00:47:14badly, they kick
00:47:15wrong, they trip,
00:47:15they fall, they
00:47:16give it to the
00:47:16other team or
00:47:17whatever, I mean,
00:47:19you'll maybe try
00:47:19it once or twice
00:47:20more to see if it
00:47:20was just a bad
00:47:22accident or
00:47:23coincidence, but
00:47:24at some point,
00:47:25what you're going
00:47:26to do is you're
00:47:27going to stop
00:47:28passing the ball
00:47:28to that guy.
00:47:30And then what
00:47:31happens?
00:47:34Well, the guy
00:47:36keeps yelling,
00:47:37I'm open, I'm
00:47:38open.
00:47:40And then you
00:47:41don't pass to him
00:47:41because he sucks,
00:47:42and he's going to
00:47:43lose the ball to
00:47:44the opposing
00:47:45team.
00:47:46So what do you
00:47:47do?
00:47:50Well, you just
00:47:51charge down and
00:47:52try and score the
00:47:52goal yourself.
00:47:53And then he
00:47:53gets angry and
00:47:54he says, I
00:47:57was open, why
00:47:57aren't you
00:47:58passing to me?
00:47:58And then there's
00:47:59conflict, right?
00:48:00And so what's
00:48:01the answer?
00:48:01Well, the answer
00:48:01is every time I
00:48:02pass it to you,
00:48:03you fumble.
00:48:04You need to get
00:48:04better at the
00:48:05game if you
00:48:05want to get
00:48:06passed to.
00:48:07Because if you're
00:48:07bad at the
00:48:08game, same
00:48:09thing in
00:48:10basketball, right,
00:48:10you pass the
00:48:11ball, somebody
00:48:11drops it, fumbles
00:48:12it, gives it to
00:48:13the opposing team,
00:48:14so you might as
00:48:15well try it by the
00:48:16three-pointer, and
00:48:17so on, right?
00:48:18So men have to
00:48:20trash talk each
00:48:20other to make
00:48:22sure that vanity
00:48:24doesn't grow to
00:48:25the point where
00:48:26there's an
00:48:27inefficient allocation
00:48:28of resources which
00:48:29causes your tribe to
00:48:30starve or everyone to
00:48:32get killed in a war.
00:48:34So if you only have
00:48:37three swords and
00:48:38twenty guys, you
00:48:40give the three
00:48:41swords to the
00:48:41biggest, strongest,
00:48:43fastest, best
00:48:44swordsman.
00:48:46Or to put it
00:48:47another way, as
00:48:48usual, those
00:48:50tribes that
00:48:52chose to let
00:48:53vanity, entitlement
00:48:54and demand
00:48:59allocate resources
00:49:01and they'd give
00:49:02the spear or the
00:49:05sword to the
00:49:06person who
00:49:07complained the
00:49:07most, those
00:49:08people lost the
00:49:10battles, got
00:49:12wiped out.
00:49:12Those people
00:49:17did not hunt
00:49:18effectively and
00:49:19got wiped out, so
00:49:20that's why.
00:49:21All right.
00:49:23Let's do one
00:49:24more.
00:49:24Thank you for
00:49:25your patience.
00:49:26I hope you like
00:49:26this format.
00:49:27For me, it's
00:49:27nice being out in
00:49:27the woods.
00:49:30So, a 23-year-old
00:49:31male struggling with
00:49:32trust issues,
00:49:33attachment issues,
00:49:33and life direction
00:49:34after heartbreak
00:49:35eight months ago.
00:49:36How to correctly
00:49:36approach self-reflection
00:49:37and orienting
00:49:39yourself in life
00:49:39without getting
00:49:40too stuck in your
00:49:40head or mentally
00:49:41masturbating?
00:49:43So, I'm sorry
00:49:45about your
00:49:46heartbreak.
00:49:48Heartbreak
00:49:49generally managed
00:49:50or wisely
00:49:51managed.
00:49:52If you manage
00:49:53heartbreak
00:49:54wisely, it turns
00:49:56into the best
00:49:56thing ever.
00:49:57So, of course,
00:49:58I dated before
00:49:59I got married.
00:50:00My wife didn't,
00:50:01of course.
00:50:02I rescued her
00:50:02from the nunnery,
00:50:03but I dated
00:50:04before I got
00:50:04married.
00:50:05And, of course,
00:50:06when a relationship
00:50:07didn't work out,
00:50:08I thought it was
00:50:08a bad thing.
00:50:11However, I love
00:50:12being married to
00:50:13my wife so much
00:50:14that I look at
00:50:15every single
00:50:16relationship that
00:50:16didn't work out
00:50:17in the past as
00:50:18a glorious godsend
00:50:19that opened the
00:50:20way up to the
00:50:21magnificent cathedral
00:50:23of girly world
00:50:24that I live in
00:50:25now.
00:50:26So, it's a good
00:50:29thing.
00:50:29In business,
00:50:31I often felt
00:50:33that I was putting
00:50:34in more effort
00:50:35than other people,
00:50:35and I was somewhat
00:50:36exploited.
00:50:36Most of those
00:50:38business relationships
00:50:39didn't work out,
00:50:41but now I get
00:50:42to freedomain.com
00:50:44slash donate
00:50:44to help out the
00:50:45show.
00:50:45Come on,
00:50:46this is great
00:50:46stuff.
00:50:47Can't get this
00:50:48anywhere else,
00:50:48and you never
00:50:48will be able
00:50:49to get this
00:50:50anywhere else.
00:50:50It is a singular
00:50:51conversation that
00:50:53we're having here.
00:50:54But all the
00:50:55business relationships
00:50:56that didn't work
00:50:57out put me on
00:50:57the path to
00:50:59doing what I'm
00:50:59doing now.
00:51:00If I had been
00:51:00more happy in
00:51:01business, I would
00:51:02have been less
00:51:02likely to do
00:51:03the world a solid
00:51:04and talk philosophy
00:51:06instead of write
00:51:07code and manage
00:51:08people and do
00:51:09sales and negotiate
00:51:10contracts and all
00:51:11the stuff that I
00:51:12was doing in the
00:51:12business world.
00:51:13Oh, how pretty.
00:51:15What a lovely day.
00:51:17It's actually crazy
00:51:18hot up here at the
00:51:20moment, but not so
00:51:21bad in the shade.
00:51:22And I can't even
00:51:23tell you how much
00:51:24smoke spray I have
00:51:25on.
00:51:25Absolutely necessary.
00:51:26I couldn't be out
00:51:26here otherwise.
00:51:27But it's all
00:51:28natural.
00:51:32So, it's made
00:51:34with whale
00:51:34semen, sperm
00:51:35whale semen, so it
00:51:37actually lowers my
00:51:38testosterone, but
00:51:40inside joke.
00:51:41So, everything that
00:51:46seems negative in
00:51:47your life, assuming
00:51:48that you apply
00:51:49yourself consistency
00:51:50to honesty,
00:51:51integrity, and
00:51:51virtue, everything
00:51:53that is negative in
00:51:55your life becomes a
00:51:57positive if you seek
00:51:59moral improvement.
00:52:02So, why don't
00:52:03relationships work
00:52:03out?
00:52:04It's either because
00:52:06you lied to her,
00:52:09she lied to you,
00:52:11or you lied to
00:52:12yourself.
00:52:12Now, maybe she
00:52:13lied to herself, but
00:52:14she's not here, so I
00:52:15can't really judge
00:52:15that.
00:52:16So, why don't
00:52:17relationships work
00:52:17out?
00:52:20Because you lied
00:52:21to yourself.
00:52:21Usually, the most
00:52:22common thing is you
00:52:23find someone when
00:52:24you've got the
00:52:24hots for her, right?
00:52:26She's a smoke
00:52:27show, and she
00:52:31has some particular
00:52:31attribute you find
00:52:32attractive, and then
00:52:33you lied to her, to
00:52:34yourself, about how
00:52:35virtuous she is, and
00:52:36what a nice person
00:52:37she is, and how
00:52:37smart she is, and so
00:52:38on, right?
00:52:40I can't have been
00:52:40alone in that.
00:52:42I know I'm not.
00:52:43So, it's the R
00:52:44selected versus K
00:52:45selected.
00:52:45R selected goes for
00:52:46physical attributes, K
00:52:47selected goes for
00:52:48moral qualities, right?
00:52:50R selected is for
00:52:52your nuts.
00:52:53You'll take nuts for
00:52:54your nuts.
00:52:56K selected is for
00:52:58your children.
00:52:59R selected means you
00:53:01want someone who's
00:53:02hot in bed, and you
00:53:03find sexy, and K
00:53:05selected is you want
00:53:06someone who's going to
00:53:07be a good mother for
00:53:07your children.
00:53:09And, you know, these
00:53:09are overlapping, blah,
00:53:10blah, blah, right?
00:53:12I was sort of aware
00:53:13that I don't want
00:53:14people to think, oh,
00:53:14my God, he doesn't
00:53:16find his wife sexy.
00:53:16I really do, but it's
00:53:18the qualities of
00:53:19character that make it
00:53:20last.
00:53:21So, generally, what
00:53:22happens is people, a
00:53:25lie to themselves, and
00:53:26they say, this woman
00:53:28that I find sexy has
00:53:30all these qualities of
00:53:31character, right?
00:53:34And so you get into
00:53:35relationships for
00:53:36reasons of lust, and
00:53:38then you lie to
00:53:39yourself about the
00:53:40qualities of character
00:53:41that the woman
00:53:42possesses.
00:53:44And then, eventually, your
00:53:46lust wears out, and the
00:53:49negative to bad qualities
00:53:51of her character remain.
00:53:54Right?
00:53:55You know that old saying,
00:53:57like, no matter how hot
00:53:57the woman is, there's
00:53:59someone in the world who's
00:54:00tired of sleeping with
00:54:01her.
00:54:02I don't think it's put
00:54:03quite that way, but you
00:54:04know what I mean.
00:54:06So, why did you end up in
00:54:08a bad relationship?
00:54:11Because, you know, you
00:54:12lie to yourself.
00:54:13And I say this with
00:54:14sympathy, and it's not
00:54:15like I've never done it,
00:54:16so, you know, I say this
00:54:17with all humility.
00:54:20But, yeah, you lie to
00:54:20yourself.
00:54:21And, also, either you
00:54:23had people in your life
00:54:24who didn't give you good
00:54:25advice, right?
00:54:27Oh, that's quite an
00:54:28overgrown path here.
00:54:29Either you had people in
00:54:30your life who didn't give
00:54:31you good advice, which
00:54:32means that you need to
00:54:33improve the quality of
00:54:34people in your life, or
00:54:36you had people in your
00:54:37life who gave you good
00:54:38advice, and you didn't
00:54:39listen to it.
00:54:40And why wouldn't you
00:54:40listen to good advice?
00:54:41Well, for reasons of
00:54:42lust.
00:54:44So, it's a shame, and
00:54:45it's tough, and I don't
00:54:47mean to not sympathize
00:54:47with your heartbreak, but
00:54:49it's really just a ball
00:54:49break.
00:54:50That's all it is.
00:54:51You ran out of lust, and
00:54:53in your post-not clarity,
00:54:55you saw the person, the
00:54:57woman, as she actually
00:54:57was, and you found that
00:54:59you did not like her in
00:55:01particular, or maybe the
00:55:02reverse happened.
00:55:05But the way to solve
00:55:06that, the way to deal
00:55:07with that is to
00:55:08continually, I can go
00:55:10into the void here, the
00:55:12way to solve that, or to
00:55:13fix that, is to
00:55:14continuously work upon
00:55:15moral self-improvement.
00:55:17Aim to be more direct,
00:55:18more honest, don't lie to
00:55:19yourself.
00:55:20If you're turned on by a
00:55:21woman, which is fine, it's
00:55:22healthy, there's nothing
00:55:23wrong with it, but not at
00:55:24the expense of qualities of
00:55:25character, but if you find
00:55:27yourself turned on by a
00:55:28woman, then you have to
00:55:30really look for the red
00:55:31flags that tell you whether
00:55:34she is a good person or
00:55:37not.
00:55:38In other words, instead of
00:55:40looking at her through the
00:55:43distortionary matrix lens of
00:55:45infinite hormones, and the
00:55:47short-term reproductive
00:55:48strategy of mere physical
00:55:50characteristics are selected,
00:55:51what you need to do is look at
00:55:56a woman that you're attracted
00:55:57to through the lens of your
00:56:04child, and instead of thinking
00:56:08how great it would be to have a
00:56:11naughty weekend away, which is
00:56:12fine, look at how is my child
00:56:17going to perceive this woman when
00:56:20the child is ill, and the woman
00:56:23has to go and take care of this
00:56:26baby or toddler for the third or
00:56:28fourth time at night, right?
00:56:33Instead of looking at the woman
00:56:35from the standpoint of your bed,
00:56:39you have to look at the woman from
00:56:42the standpoint of your child's bed.
00:56:46Let's say the baby is colicky, let's
00:56:49say the baby having other kinds of
00:56:51digestive problems, and the baby has
00:56:53been crying for two days straight.
00:56:57Is the woman going to be impatient
00:56:58and angry and so on, or is the
00:57:02woman going to dissolve in sympathy
00:57:05at how difficult it is for the child?
00:57:08And I'm not saying never have any
00:57:09impatience or whatever.
00:57:10I mean, obviously a baby crying is
00:57:12designed to be a negative stimulus so
00:57:15that you can fix whatever problem or
00:57:17hope to, but how is the woman going
00:57:25to be with a baby who cries a lot?
00:57:32Is she going to move heaven and earth
00:57:34to make that baby happy and
00:57:36comfortable and try and figure out the
00:57:40solution in a peaceful and patient
00:57:41manner?
00:57:43Well, that's good then, right?
00:57:46But instead of looking down at your
00:57:47woman in a bed, look up at your
00:57:49woman from your child's bed and try
00:57:52to determine how good or bad a mother
00:57:57she's going to be.
00:57:59And again, just to reiterate the
00:58:01obvious, this is not to say that
00:58:03sexual lust is bad, that's fine, it's
00:58:06great, I mean, you've got to have some
00:58:08lust, otherwise you're not going to
00:58:09have the kids, really.
00:58:13But the sadness that you're feeling is
00:58:16the sadness, deep down, of
00:58:19disappointment that you are lying to
00:58:22yourself.
00:58:22Or, of course, the other way that we
00:58:24lie to ourselves is that the woman
00:58:27we're attracted to does something
00:58:28negative or bad or wrong, kind of
00:58:30horrible or selfish or thoughtless or
00:58:32whatever it is.
00:58:34And maybe she doesn't apologize or
00:58:36whatever.
00:58:37And what do we say?
00:58:37We say, oh, that's a one-time thing.
00:58:40I mean, she was in a bad mood, she'd
00:58:42had a difficult day, you know, she's
00:58:45got PMS, or, you know, we sort of make
00:58:47up these excuses.
00:58:50And why do we make up these excuses?
00:58:51Because we want to continue to have
00:58:52sexual access.
00:58:55So, we're not sad at the breakup.
00:58:58We are depressed at our ability to lie
00:59:02to ourselves.
00:59:06And if you understand that, and you
00:59:08say, well, look, moving forward, I'm
00:59:10really going to work hard to tell the
00:59:12truth about my relationships, to not
00:59:16make stuff up, to not lie, to not
00:59:18sugarcoat, to not make excuses, to not
00:59:21gaslight myself about quality that does
00:59:23not appear to be manifesting.
00:59:27You shall not pass.
00:59:29Actually, I think I will.
00:59:30So, a little bridge here for those who
00:59:32are just listening.
00:59:33I hope you have a wonderful week.
00:59:37And sorry to those who watched my
00:59:38Quake show last night.
00:59:40I didn't realize that the bit rate was
00:59:42too low, which is why the graphics
00:59:44weren't great, but I think I have
00:59:45fixed that now.
00:59:47freedomain.com slash donate to help
00:59:49out the show.
00:59:49I'll get to the rest of the questions
00:59:50later.
00:59:51Thank you so much, my friends.
00:59:52Have yourself a wonderful, wonderful
00:59:54day.
00:59:55I really do appreciate the
00:59:56opportunity to talk to you about
01:00:00virtues and values and truth and
01:00:02philosophy.
01:00:03freedomain.com slash donate.
01:00:04Bye.
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