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Transcript
00:00:13The first person I met on a film set was a pedophile.
00:00:17He was a rich local wanting to get into business
00:00:19and said he wanted to cast me in his next torture porn.
00:00:27He took videos through his living room window
00:00:29of him taking his little dog outside
00:00:31to our neighborhood children.
00:00:34He catalogued his interactions with them
00:00:36and where they lived.
00:00:37I told the police and he smiled and said
00:00:39I was a great investigator.
00:00:41He could probably solve the case on my own.
00:00:44Now I have nightmares that I'm pulling children out
00:00:47from underneath his floorboards
00:00:48to help them escape before he comes home.
00:00:53I always wanted to be an actor.
00:00:55It's fine. You look great.
00:00:57Well, you know how sometimes black can look weird
00:00:59on a black background.
00:01:00Yes, I know.
00:01:01Before we get started,
00:01:03I just want to stress that we're looking for the truth here.
00:01:07To paint a portrait of a woman you claim you once knew
00:01:11and the kind of person she was before she became, you know.
00:01:14Yeah.
00:01:15So there's no need to embellish anything
00:01:16or make it more dazzling.
00:01:18It'll already be hard enough for the audience to swallow as is.
00:01:21No, I'm not worried about them.
00:01:22Everything's subjective anyway, right?
00:01:27So you lived in a house full of actors.
00:01:30Yeah, it was sort of like a brothel.
00:01:33And how did the four of you come to live together?
00:01:36Well, I mean, we just kind of met
00:01:38through the local acting community.
00:01:40Mommy and Daddy's little girl,
00:01:42Charlie realized they were gay in high school,
00:01:44eventually coming out to a best friend
00:01:46who pretended to be supportive
00:01:47but quickly stopped responding
00:01:48and told everyone in school Charlie was in love with her.
00:01:51To make matters worse,
00:01:52their parents identified as Christians,
00:01:54although they didn't know much about the Bible
00:01:56except what they'd heard the preachers say,
00:01:57which was that homosexuals are going to hell.
00:02:00When they came out,
00:02:01their parents responded with a resounding,
00:02:03you are not gay,
00:02:04and the topic was swiftly shelved.
00:02:06Invalidated and traumatized,
00:02:08Charlie caved in on himself,
00:02:09lost their confidence,
00:02:10and developed severe anxiety.
00:02:12They became a hermit
00:02:13and channeled their identity
00:02:14into living vicariously
00:02:15through LGBTQ Instagram profiles and hashtags
00:02:18until segueing into fictional characters via acting.
00:02:21Although Charlie had great instincts as a performer,
00:02:24they stuffed them down,
00:02:25leaving their auditions drab,
00:02:27a pale comparison to what they were capable of,
00:02:29much like every other aspect of their life.
00:02:31Yeah, so Beth found this big house for cheap rent,
00:02:34and we all just four split it,
00:02:35and it was a steal.
00:02:36It's nice that you didn't feel
00:02:37any sort of competition amongst each other,
00:02:39you know, going out for the same roles and whatnot.
00:02:43Now, can you tell me a little bit
00:02:44about what it was like between you all
00:02:47before this event happened?
00:02:50Before, before, before.
00:02:52Well, I mean, it was just sort of like
00:02:54four roommates living together.
00:02:56Not really much else to say about it.
00:02:57Would you say you were all friends?
00:03:07Hello?
00:03:10Somebody!
00:03:11I know you're all home.
00:03:13I can hear you!
00:03:24Who are you?
00:03:30It's tornado season anyway.
00:03:32Oh, yeah.
00:03:33I wouldn't necessarily say we were all friends, you know?
00:03:37I actually don't remember any of their names.
00:03:40Friends?
00:03:42The best of friends.
00:03:44Yes, we were truly blessed.
00:03:55Oh, did you park behind me?
00:03:57Uh, yeah.
00:03:58Uh, I need you to move
00:03:59because I'm going to my Wednesday night church group.
00:04:02Didn't you just get home?
00:04:03Yeah.
00:04:05Okay, so why'd you park in the driveway
00:04:07if you're just gonna leave?
00:04:08Oh, because there were two empty spaces.
00:04:11Right.
00:04:12But I parked in the driveway
00:04:14because there was one empty space.
00:04:17Uh, but I'm leaving?
00:04:28Oh, Willa!
00:04:29Can I eat some of your milk?
00:04:31I mean, I'd rather you not.
00:04:37I just don't have a pre-portion to last the week.
00:04:40Oh, no.
00:04:40I just like a splash.
00:04:43Yeah.
00:04:43I'm sorry.
00:04:59Hey, do you remember if I was keeping it down for a few?
00:05:01I'm going to be recording my voiceover.
00:05:03Yeah, sure.
00:05:03Of course.
00:05:18I can still hear you.
00:05:19It sounds like you're crumbling 50 newspapers
00:05:21with a pair of snow boots.
00:05:22Oh, yeah.
00:05:22I'm sorry.
00:05:23I'm sorry.
00:05:24It's okay.
00:05:31How about you go to your room for, like, 20 minutes
00:05:34and then I'll text you when I'm done?
00:05:36Okay, sure.
00:05:44Basically, the roommates never tried getting to know each other,
00:05:47each wrapped up in their own careers,
00:05:49so their communications consisted of passive-aggressive texts,
00:05:52door slams, and tiptoeing on eggshells.
00:05:54Hags.
00:05:57Cunts!
00:05:59Sinners!
00:06:00You all know I'm allergic to nuts!
00:06:02So would you say you were all happy?
00:06:04Yeah, I wouldn't say we were happy.
00:06:06I wouldn't say we were unhappy.
00:06:08I mean, we were just moving together
00:06:09through space and time in the same place.
00:06:13Fair enough.
00:06:16So, when did all the trouble start?
00:06:18Well, I guess you could say it all started
00:06:20when Willie decided to move to L.A.
00:06:45On a highway, oh yeah.
00:06:47Yeah, on a highway, oh yeah.
00:06:50Pew!
00:06:51Pew!
00:06:53Pew!
00:06:53Ooh, yeah.
00:06:55Now take this one and run for the races.
00:06:58Ooh, yeah.
00:07:00Nobody, nobody move from the places.
00:07:03Ooh, yeah.
00:07:05Now take this one and run for the races.
00:07:08Ooh, yeah.
00:07:09Is it just for the boys and the girls in the band?
00:07:13Talk to me, man.
00:07:14Yeah.
00:07:15Talk, talk to me, oh man.
00:07:17Yeah.
00:07:18Talk to me, man.
00:07:20Is it just for the boys in the band?
00:07:22Yeah, no.
00:07:22Talk, talk to me, man.
00:07:24Yeah.
00:07:25Talk, talk to me, oh man.
00:07:27Yeah.
00:07:28Talk to me, man.
00:07:29Is it just for the boys and the girls in the band?
00:07:32There's politics in the skies
00:07:34See the animal in your eyes
00:07:36Oh, sheepies make butterflies
00:07:39Wish you were camming with those eyes
00:07:41Hey, hey, hey!
00:07:43Hey
00:07:44Hey, my friend
00:07:47Hey, then you fly it backwards, my friend
00:07:49Hey, hey, hey, hey!
00:07:59You got the room, didn't you?
00:08:02I've got to go, dude
00:08:03Oh
00:08:06Why?
00:08:08I just feel like I'm ready, you know?
00:08:10Like, it's my time
00:08:13Like, if a real L.A. casting director
00:08:15got to see me
00:08:17and meet me
00:08:19and watch me do my thing
00:08:20they would champion me
00:08:22I just have to get in front of the right people
00:08:24You could do that here
00:08:26You could do that here
00:08:27There's the incentive
00:08:28Things are coming
00:08:29Really?
00:08:30This is Oklahoma
00:08:32I'm not going to book
00:08:34the barista
00:08:36or the grocery store clerk
00:08:37or any of those other character actor roles
00:08:40in the movies that come through here
00:08:42I'm a leading lady
00:08:45Yeah, but
00:08:46you did book those two lifetime movies
00:08:48Exactly
00:08:48My resume is so legit now
00:08:51It's too legit to stay here
00:08:54Yours is too
00:08:55You just
00:08:56don't have the confidence yet
00:08:59Go to L.A.
00:09:00You have to be ready to own it
00:09:02And your tapes are just, like, a little too hesitant
00:09:04Yeah
00:09:06Yeah, yeah, you're right
00:09:07I, um
00:09:10I'm just
00:09:13gonna miss you is all
00:09:16I don't really have any other friends in the house
00:09:18and everyone else
00:09:18and everyone else kind of just sucks
00:09:19The sublet girl from Facebook seems really interesting
00:09:24Maybe you two can become best friends
00:09:27and you can come live with me and WeHo
00:09:29Yeah
00:09:31Yeah, totally
00:09:32Totally
00:09:35Everything is gonna change
00:09:37when I'm gone
00:09:40I miss you, Belle
00:09:43I'm gonna miss you, too
00:09:57I'm gonna go back
00:09:59Okay
00:10:19Willa is the type of narcissist
00:10:21who would stage her own attack for public sympathy
00:10:23She has a blind confidence perfect for Los Angeles
00:10:26and that she'll do whatever whomever it takes to become famous
00:10:29She tries to overcompensate showing support for others
00:10:32in order to seem like the good guy she believes will prosper
00:10:35as she has seen before on television
00:10:37She will eventually push away everyone who can detect her insincerity
00:10:40and become a producer of films starring herself
00:10:43funded by a rich husband whom she cares nothing for
00:10:46She will subsequently cheat on and leave him for an equally narcissistic female yoga studio owner
00:10:51Together they will produce a stream of mildly successful yoga content
00:10:55create a wellness brand and live together with their pampered dogs
00:10:58Both will become cocktail alcoholics and die of liver-related issues
00:11:05Hold on, let me just have to think about it
00:11:07I can get down with them, too
00:11:11Okay, I can take it from here
00:11:12Willa!
00:11:14You're not gonna hug me goodbye?
00:11:16Oh my god
00:11:18This is all right
00:11:19This is all right
00:11:20Um, hey, you remember those HelloFresh dinners we made together
00:11:24with the little burgers and, like, the ketchup sauce?
00:11:26Yeah
00:11:29I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's stupid
00:11:31Just, um, don't miss your flight
00:11:48Okay, I'll pick up the sauce
00:11:49I'm sorry, I won't miss you
00:11:49I don't miss you
00:11:49I don't miss you
00:11:50Cause I still miss you
00:11:51I'm sorry, ma'am
00:11:53I have a job
00:11:54They got me
00:11:55I don't miss you
00:11:57I will maybe have a trust
00:12:05you gotta get rid of these rocks what why first off today at work i mean here i am trying
00:12:12to get
00:12:13my my numbers down up and get the file sent over correctly to mark and and i'm just thinking about
00:12:17these rocks and all the clutter they're causing the room they're taking up the house and and
00:12:20mark notices of course he comes over he's like hey man why why aren't the numbers heading up and
00:12:24you know something wrong at home and i have to lie i have to say everything's fine and so i
00:12:28mean just
00:12:28get rid of these rocks i mean this isn't better for me at work okay here here's another reason you
00:12:35know my parents are coming over to visit soon and and they're getting up in age and mom had that
00:12:39heart attack recently if they find the box i'm gonna have to explain to them you know what they're doing
00:12:43here why they're cluttering up the place why they're taking up so much freaking room and what happens if
00:12:47you know she has another heart attack and she dies and then we have to pay for the funeral we
00:12:51have all
00:12:52the family over dad's gonna be hanging around and he's gonna be bitching about the lack of football
00:12:55so if we can just get rid of the rocks we can avoid all of that i think if we
00:12:59explained the
00:13:01sentimentality behind him they would understand okay let me try this another way we're in a
00:13:05relationship right and so we want this relationship to grow we want us to grow together we want us to
00:13:11become more happy and if one of us is like attached to something in the past that's holding us back
00:13:15we have to give that up and so if we can just get rid of these rocks we would both
00:13:20become more happy i mean
00:13:21i would become more happy so just get rid of these rocks
00:13:51we have to give that up and so if we can just get rid of these rocks
00:14:05don't live your life with an itchy vagina choose option b clinically proven to alleviate the most
00:14:11sweaty of gym rashes option b available in any foot cream aisle not prevent to reduce the symptoms of
00:14:18crabs if you think you may be suffering from crabs if you may be suffering from crabs please contact your
00:14:39primary care physician
00:14:55shit
00:15:13so
00:15:33beth grew up in a large ultra-religious family typical for the poor and otherwise hopeless in the
00:15:38midwestern bible belt while a teenager beth developed her own personal brand of devotion to god and
00:15:43hatred of the devil after what she describes as a profound sermon she heard but cannot recall the
00:15:49specifics of this personal version of satanic panic actually coincided with an absent-minded
00:15:54viewing of the exorcist at a babysitting job but beth would never put two and two together in her own
00:15:59mind she considered joining a convent until stumbling upon a tbn special of kirk cameron talking about
00:16:04being an actor for jesus and realized she might have a much broader reach witnessing through the
00:16:09entertainment industry holy father son of god please help me be the best person i can in order to
00:16:14please you please help me to resist all sins of the flesh
00:16:38please help me live a life that's pleasing to you
00:16:42help me turn my sinful roommates to your light please help me book a life-changing role
00:16:47that will help me have more of an influence in order to do your will
00:16:52please help willa to have a safe trip and let the new girl cat
00:16:58please jesus let her be my friend don't live your life with an itchy vagina god what the
00:17:08so
00:17:13hi uh you must be cath the new roommate i'm beth um hi
00:17:19oh
00:17:23sorry these bugs are kind of heavy no sweat uh kama sutra is that middle eastern it just depends
00:17:30on the position you interested it's a ten dollar book since we're roomies now i'll give it to you for
00:17:35bus um maybe later this must be what a vampire feels like oh what's that you
00:17:46gonna invite me in oh sorry yeah come on in oh no smoking in here actually duh
00:18:00okay okay okay oh that's the selfie jesus christ god damn it hi april you must be cat yeah that's
00:18:09me
00:18:09uh what you doing in the closet here this like you can't grasp or do you need me to cross
00:18:13the
00:18:13money for you i'm just recording a voiceover audition yeah yeah yeah audition of course
00:18:18well that's a nice setup well i'll let you get back to it break legs and all that
00:18:27this is the living room area here yes it's uh pretty bare yeah i hung a picture up in here
00:18:37once but i'm
00:18:38not sure what happened
00:18:46this is our self-tape area wow i mean you guys are really professional
00:18:54yeah i'd like to think so
00:19:03oh this is uh my room
00:19:08badass jesus was pretty cool oh prophet's manual i got one too
00:19:19and uh this is april's room
00:19:27oh no what what's wrong what you don't feel that
00:19:31oh there's a malicious presence in this room what do you mean it's a dark energy i'm really
00:19:36sensitive to the spiritual realm especially when the veil is soaked in and they know it
00:19:39i gotta get the fuck out of here
00:19:46i realize now that it should have seemed suspicious but the property management
00:19:51seemed legit and there was obviously nothing wrong about the house
00:19:55there were drafts and strange electrical issues but i just didn't believe in ghosts or any of that
00:20:02oh yeah that bitch was haunted it was in april's room so
00:20:07oh hey huh i didn't know anyone was here
00:20:10yeah charlie this is kat the girl taking over willis room
00:20:13i live here too better than skid row right
00:20:16totally totally uh let's continue the tour
00:20:22it was nice to meet you and this is willis room or was willis room it's yours now
00:20:28wow she's basic as fuck huh
00:20:30yeah it's just your typical oklahoma girl she moved to la to make it big
00:20:36she's so brave i hope god gives me the courage to go out there someday
00:20:40that shit man all these fucking wife are full of swine flu
00:20:44it is
00:20:45yeah one day you're pounding the pavement and you're fucking pitiful little ass resume
00:20:49and the next you move into a crackling with a ton of homeless teens
00:20:53you can accidentally sit on a used heroin eater but there's still something in there
00:20:57it fucks you up and you can't shit for a long time someone steals your vibrator so you can't shit
00:21:03you can't nut you can't land a day job but finally you broke a role as a junkie
00:21:08but the day of you can't remember how you played it in the audition because the junk is worn off
00:21:12so you make a fucking fool out of yourself
00:21:16i'm just playing i don't use the tits as long as you stay out of trouble and keep your dicks
00:21:19out of your mouth
00:21:20oh yeah i would um definitely why did you come to oklahoma
00:21:27because ellie's fucking rough man nobody wants to pop your cherry there
00:21:31they never want to be the first person to catch you
00:21:33even if you've done a million classes and joined an acting cult for a year
00:21:36i just figured i'd get some co-stars in a smaller market
00:21:39plus it's fucking cheap
00:21:41yes well um i will let you get unpacked settled in um we'll have a meeting later just to go
00:21:49over
00:21:49house rules set some boundaries boundaries more like a mall no just like personal space things
00:21:56chores whatnot you know copy that sister
00:22:00don't live your life you can open the night
00:22:04jesus
00:22:20uh should someone go get cat
00:22:24i'll get her
00:22:38can i help you
00:22:39uh hey cat um we're about to have a house meeting in the living room if you care you join
00:22:44us or i mean
00:22:44you don't have to if you don't want to
00:22:46nice one
00:22:47all right i'm gonna read off the house rules that we all
00:22:55came up with when we moved in and if you have anything to add or any
00:22:59questions just let us know rule number one pay your rent on time
00:23:04none issue next rule number two no hard drugs
00:23:08rule number three oh wait we should probably um classify what's considered hard drugs before
00:23:14you move on any further right oh okay um well no hard drugs
00:23:20oh you know sometimes i smoke a little weed every now and again you know what i'm saying
00:23:27it's a little weed there charlie horse you know i just like hit my pipe a couple times and then
00:23:32go
00:23:32in my room and watch netflix
00:23:33that's what's up but yeah no hard drugs so obviously we're probably talking about heroin crack
00:23:43meth sure are we also talking about herbal mushrooms a little suicide and a little acid here and there
00:23:53well if you had to keep one of those what would it be acid no doubt i don't think we
00:24:00should limit
00:24:00anything that widens our perspectives to new world views philosophies and spiritual revelations
00:24:08spiritual revelations yes i agree those are important rule number three knock first and don't go into
00:24:16anyone's room without permission
00:24:20charlie you're not going to oh my gosh whoa sorry you're you're not no no no no no no no
00:24:27no no i
00:24:27know i want to watch you watch the phone right after no you four shoes off in the house
00:24:34rule number five no significant others moving in okay well my boyfriend doug came to visit for like a
00:24:41week, and that was fine. Right, guys?
00:24:51Hole number six. Wash dishes as you go.
00:24:54Oh, it's fine. I don't use dishes.
00:24:56What do you mean you don't use dishes?
00:24:58Well, I just reuse the same cup and fork and then rinse them off when I'm done and put them
00:25:02in a safe place.
00:25:04Or I just eat with my hands, you know? I don't follow along with that societal norm bullshit.
00:25:09There was a time before somebody invented silver, I know, and people just been complicating shit ever since.
00:25:15Uh, rule number seven. Respect silence when people are taping auditions.
00:25:19Yes, that rule. Can't forget that rule. It includes voiceovers.
00:25:23And finally, no parties without explicit permission via group text message.
00:25:32Well, I think this is gonna be great.
00:25:35I'm so excited.
00:25:36Me too.
00:25:36I really feel like this is gonna be perfect, and I really believe in you guys, you know?
00:25:41Not just as roommates, but also as actors.
00:25:44I really feel a successful aura just all over this fucking house.
00:25:49It's like I'm peeking into the Akashic Records, and I can't tell if it's someone's huge success.
00:25:54Like you, or you, or you.
00:25:56Or if it's all of you kind of having just, like, C-level success.
00:26:02I can't really tell you. The reading isn't quite clear. I'm still working at the King's Club.
00:26:05Really?
00:26:06Yeah. What, you guys don't feel that? It's everywhere.
00:26:10Well, except for one place.
00:26:16What do you mean?
00:26:22You've got a poltergeist in your room.
00:26:25No, I don't.
00:26:26You're trying to tell me. You don't feel anything hinky in there.
00:26:30I don't believe in hinky.
00:26:32She doesn't believe in hinky.
00:26:37Jesus.
00:26:41Once in a moment of hope for, I don't know, some cosmic divinity, I prayed that Andy Kaufman would take
00:26:48over my body, but he never should.
00:26:51And that's why hinky isn't real.
00:26:54Well, ghosts aren't real, except for the Holy Ghost. Your spirit either goes to heaven or hell.
00:26:58I wouldn't say that either. It's just an old house.
00:27:00No, no, no, no. There's definitely some mean old son of a bitch in there, and it definitely ain't no
00:27:05Kaufman.
00:27:06You guys might want to fork over the dough to have some mystic come cleanse that shit out, you know,
00:27:10before all hell breaks loose.
00:27:24Okay, um, maybe what we do is we have a housewarming party, like Welcome Cat, to have, like, a dinner.
00:27:36Yes, you don't have to do that.
00:27:39That's just, you know, too cute.
00:27:43Too cute.
00:27:44Just set up once or early.
00:27:47Throw me a party before.
00:27:50Well, that does it. Now we have to.
00:27:54Whatever, I'll let you.
00:27:57Stupid.
00:28:00Well, I'll just, I'm gonna go ahead and unpack, uh, I'll catch you guys later.
00:28:07But P.S., if anybody needs anything, um, I've been in a home invasion before, so...
00:28:14I ain't f***ing around. You guys need anything, you just f***ing holler, okay?
00:28:19Just f***ing holler.
00:28:21I don't know.
00:28:38I don't know.
00:28:48so what do you guys think like 50 red flags right what oh my god no i think she's i
00:28:55think
00:28:55she's kind of awesome well you don't like her she thinks my room is haunted she's insane i mean i
00:29:01hear where you're coming from but i think we're being a little too judgmental she just needs a
00:29:06little transition uh she just got here now it's her first day yeah i agree she's new we should just
00:29:15give it time yeah i second all of that and also i think you know she's just just a little
00:29:21different
00:29:21come on she's just kind of cool also we'd have to replace her in a really short amount of time
00:29:28because i cannot afford to split her rent right now true whatever
00:29:37so you liked this cat at first yeah i did no i thought she was a lunatic druggie who just
00:29:44got
00:29:44out of a cult and was going to kill us all in our sleep judge not lestie be judged right
00:29:49it's true
00:29:50i didn't actually bet her very well so then what happened well from moving on from there it was just
00:29:55all regular living his roommate stuff just feeling each other out
00:30:03so charlie april and beth stifled their suspicions and allowed their new eccentric roommate to reside
00:30:08with them though keeping an eye out for any broken regulation that might be violated which would in
00:30:13turn give them an opening to alleviate their discomfort and find a more palatable roommate
00:30:18for although they considered themselves to be progressive and artsy they were much more closed
00:30:23stop and judgmental than they realized
00:31:18stop and judgmental as having ourselves to be
00:31:25Hey, you going somewhere?
00:31:27Yeah, why?
00:31:28Just want to make sure you're doing any of his bathroom at the Bee Gees.
00:31:31Bee Gees?
00:31:33Bubbleguts.
00:32:00Bee Gees.
00:32:02Bee Gees.
00:32:02Shai sister.
00:32:04What are you doing?
00:32:05Uh, I'm just, you know, I'm just stretching.
00:32:09Cool.
00:32:10Very cool.
00:32:12Um, so I was wondering how you'd feel about, uh, helping me save a lot of money.
00:32:23Sage April's room.
00:32:24She already knows I'm gonna do it.
00:32:25She said it was okay.
00:32:26By the way, I knocked on the door before I came in, but it was already open, so I figured
00:32:30it was cool.
00:32:31Yeah, yeah, it's totally cool.
00:32:32You can come in here any time, you know?
00:32:34Like, uh, um, so, like, saging something.
00:32:39I've never, I've never done that before.
00:32:44Uh, it doesn't require experience.
00:32:46You can just, you know, fake it till you make it, like f***ing or acting.
00:32:50You just, you just do it.
00:32:51It comes to you.
00:32:53Okay.
00:32:54I'm down.
00:32:55Uh, do you just want me to, like, light the sage stick, or...?
00:33:02What I really want you to do is watch my back.
00:33:05I can watch your back.
00:33:06Probably I wouldn't want to tell anybody this, because it's a very vulnerable thing for me,
00:33:10and when you open yourself into your secrets up to strangers, you leave yourself, uh, to
00:33:14the chance that they might judge you.
00:33:16Laugh at you, make fun of you, think that b***h is f***ing off her rocker.
00:33:19She's had too much LSD, you know what I'm saying?
00:33:21Yeah.
00:33:22I know what you're saying.
00:33:23I, I don't think you're crazy.
00:33:25I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.
00:33:27Maybe a deeper bond between us she'll form, you know?
00:33:30Yeah.
00:33:32Yeah.
00:33:32Yeah.
00:33:33I can tell you my secrets too.
00:33:35We can bond.
00:33:35This is cool.
00:33:36Yeah.
00:33:42I've had night terrors my entire life, and a spirit is trying to possess my body, and
00:33:49sometimes it does get in and speak through my mouth with a different voice until I cast
00:33:53it out.
00:33:54I think they just take advantage of the sensitivity I have to their energies, use me as a vessel.
00:34:01I, I, I really don't know what they want from me.
00:34:03I don't know if it's just to be seen or heard or something nefarious.
00:34:06I have no f***ing idea.
00:34:07I just need you there to have my back in case anything bad happens.
00:34:13I can have your milk.
00:34:32Yeah, I do feel lighter in here, man.
00:34:36Well, that makes one of us.
00:35:02Daniel has always been a good son, assisting his mother in homeschooling his younger siblings
00:35:07and his father in budgeting, household repairs, and enjoying the stand-up comedy of one Jerry
00:35:11Seinfeld.
00:35:12His social experience thus far in life has been limited to his local Mormon chapter in
00:35:16his family.
00:35:17His best friend is Jedediah.
00:35:18Jedediah has had it with his whole life, what he considers to be built on a foundation
00:35:22of lies.
00:35:23The epiphany came upon him one night while studying engineering at BYU.
00:35:27His mind wandered to the process of creation, and as he thought it through more fully than he
00:35:31ever had done before, some biblical claims reveal themselves to be physically and scientifically
00:35:35impossible and therefore silly.
00:35:37He eventually dropped out and moved back home where he was forced by his parents to go on
00:35:41a mission before exceeding the age limit.
00:35:43I think we're in a part of town where you can say howdy to people and it's not weird.
00:35:47I think that it'll help them.
00:35:48They don't give a s***, man.
00:35:50It'll make them trust.
00:35:50No, it'll make us seem more trustworthy.
00:36:01Hello, my name is Elder Daniel.
00:36:03This is Elder Jedediah.
00:36:04We're with the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.
00:36:07Would you have some time to talk about Jesus?
00:36:09Um, well, actually...
00:36:10Time will expand itself for Jesus.
00:36:14Okay.
00:36:15Nice to meet you.
00:36:19Well...
00:36:26You boys want something to drink?
00:36:28Um...
00:36:29We got coffee, water, bubbly fizzies, beer...
00:36:34I'll take a beer.
00:36:35Alright.
00:36:39Peepy house.
00:36:40Thanks.
00:36:41You smoke?
00:36:43Yeah.
00:36:44Alright.
00:36:45Come with me.
00:36:53Well...
00:36:53Hi.
00:36:55It's nice to meet you.
00:36:56My name is...
00:36:57My name is Daniel.
00:36:58I told you already, but...
00:36:59I'm Beth.
00:37:00It's nice to meet you, Beth.
00:37:01That's a very pretty name.
00:37:04Um...
00:37:04Do you know about the Book of Mormon?
00:37:06No, but...
00:37:09I do know a lot about the Holy Bible.
00:37:21I like your tie.
00:37:24Oh, yeah.
00:37:27Thanks.
00:37:28What's your success rate on this whole door-to-door thing?
00:37:30Yeah.
00:37:31Only weirdos and the only people answer their door to strangers anymore, so...
00:37:36Yeah.
00:37:37Ain't that the f***ing truth.
00:37:39It's probably for the best, though.
00:37:41If I start my own club, you wanna join?
00:37:43What would we do with it?
00:37:45You ever heard of Sheila's in it?
00:37:47No.
00:37:47Yeah.
00:37:48Basically, we'd compile a list of all things we like from other courts or religions, put them
00:37:53under the umbrella of one name, collect offerings, and avoid taxes.
00:37:57You ever tried LSD?
00:38:00Obviously, but, uh...
00:38:02It's LDS, actually.
00:38:05Oh, that's what's up.
00:38:07Baptism?
00:38:07Yeah, we do that.
00:38:09Do you guys have Jesus or is it just Mary over there?
00:38:11Oh, we have both.
00:38:12Uh, prayer.
00:38:13Yeah.
00:38:14Yeah.
00:38:15Oh, Joseph Smith.
00:38:17Drink.
00:38:21Prophets.
00:38:21Yes.
00:38:22Oh, apostles.
00:38:26Don't you guys believe in polygamy?
00:38:29Not anymore.
00:38:32Hmm.
00:38:33Celibacy before marriage?
00:38:35Yeah, we have that.
00:38:36Uh, so, are you in school or do you go to work or anything?
00:38:39I'm an actor for Jesus.
00:38:41You know, I always thought that if I became a bishop or something, that I would like to
00:38:45put jokes in my sermons, you know?
00:38:46Get the crowd sort of off guard and then just hit them with a gut punch, you know?
00:38:51Nice.
00:38:52Yeah.
00:38:53Can I hear one?
00:38:55You should...
00:38:56I probably...
00:38:56I don't know if I should...
00:39:00Yeah.
00:39:01Yeah.
00:39:02Uh, yeah, I've got one.
00:39:03Um, why don't...
00:39:06Why don't the Lamanites like Muay Thai?
00:39:10Why?
00:39:11Uh, because they can't stand knee fights.
00:39:14Oh, my God.
00:39:15Are you okay?
00:39:16Are you okay?
00:39:16I'm sorry.
00:39:17I shouldn't use my best joke.
00:39:18Aren't you supposed to keep an arm's length distance away from any women on your mission?
00:39:23You know, um, I should probably let you know before we go any further, you know, I don't
00:39:28want to lead you on or anything, but I am very devout about LDS and therefore unconvertible.
00:39:36How devout?
00:39:38Extremely devout.
00:39:53Oh, my God.
00:39:55Uh-uh-uh.
00:39:57Show me your boobies first, come on.
00:40:00No, baby wants to see your pee pee first.
00:40:03No, show me your boobies first.
00:40:06Just a tidbit.
00:40:07Just a tidbit.
00:40:19Did you write your own bible verses? I wouldn't call them bible verses. No this just kind of reads
00:40:27like Psalms. Maybe uh, Interior Castle by Saint Teresa of Avila. Sainthood.
00:40:44Daniel, would you like to pray with me?
00:40:54Jed, we have to go now. Go. Get your bike. Please get your bike. It's right here. It's right here.
00:40:58What's going on, man? We have to go. We were not prepared for this.
00:41:01We have to go gird ourselves a little better before we can come back here.
00:41:05There's a lot of stuff we didn't plan on.
00:41:08See you at my party Friday.
00:41:10See ya.
00:41:11Okay, well perfect. We can come back. We can talk to him then.
00:41:19What happened with you two?
00:41:21Hi. Are you staying in room 722?
00:41:27Stupid.
00:41:35Hey Chicken Little, whatcha doing?
00:41:37Hey, um, just uh, writing my memoirs.
00:41:41Nice.
00:41:43Uh, do you think you could do me a little teeny tiny one week old fetus size favorite?
00:41:50Yeah, whatever you want.
00:41:53Think we could smoke some of that flowery home?
00:41:57You do photography?
00:41:59Uh, nah.
00:42:01These are good.
00:42:02Nah.
00:42:04I'm thinking of moving to L.A.
00:42:07Ew, why?
00:42:08Look at you, you look so cute.
00:42:10I'm not cute. I'm sexy.
00:42:12You're great.
00:42:14Nobody's gonna cast me here looking like this bullshit.
00:42:18Like, people want blonde, big boobs, especially for those Lifetime movies.
00:42:24That's all we get here.
00:42:26Yeah, nobody knows who they are when they're 16 anyways.
00:42:29When do you know who you are?
00:42:31I don't know, when you decide to stop giving a f*** and just do whatever you want.
00:42:36You know, stay true to yourself.
00:42:38Yeah, I, my parents pay my bills so I can't really do that.
00:42:42Well, that's your problem.
00:42:44You shouldn't let anybody hold financial power over you, man.
00:42:47When was the last time you dated it, girl?
00:42:49I haven't.
00:42:50You just do your own thing.
00:42:52That's probably why you're not getting cast.
00:42:54You're looking for approval instead of approving yourself.
00:42:56Well, because you're parents?
00:42:57No, it's just because it's really hard to find, um, gay girls in Oklahoma.
00:43:02Wait, are you a virgin?
00:43:04I, um, I have had sex with a girl once.
00:43:08As soon as you start doing whatever the f*** you wanna do, be creative, the better.
00:43:14Someday, my princess is gonna come, but when that day happens, I'm gonna f***ing straight tap that shit for a
00:43:21whole week.
00:43:22Cause man, right now I'm about to blow, dude.
00:43:28Hey, can I paint you?
00:43:29What?
00:43:31Can I paint you?
00:43:33Like, paint on, like, a canvas? Like, me?
00:43:36Very good.
00:43:37Either way.
00:46:30Take your time.
00:46:33What are you looking at?
00:46:35You fucking bitch.
00:46:36You wanna lick this pussy?
00:46:39Wait, can we start over?
00:46:41Yeah, yeah, totally.
00:46:45And we're rolling again.
00:46:49What are you looking at, you fucking bitch?
00:46:51You wanna pussy?
00:46:54Can we maybe just start from the second scene first?
00:46:58Who are you?
00:46:59What do you mean?
00:47:00I mean, like, what's your character backstory?
00:47:03Well, there wasn't much in the breakdown, so I just assumed that she was a girl from a broken home,
00:47:08drugs, daddy issues.
00:47:10She was probably raped at 13 and never got the help that she needed, so she went down this path
00:47:15of self-destruction.
00:47:16She never really knew who she was, so that's what brought her to today with Rudy and Vance, why she's
00:47:22about to cut them for this heroin, while she'll OD in the last scene.
00:47:25You've created too much separation between yourself and the character.
00:47:29You said she'll OD, she, she, she, not I.
00:47:34I just don't want too many voices in my head.
00:47:36I think this character's a lot more close to the real you than you think.
00:47:41Like, this character is you, just under a little bit different circumstances, right?
00:47:47Are you close with your family?
00:47:49What do you mean? I mean, I'm close with my mom. She's my best friend.
00:47:54You mean you're her babysitter? Yeah, that makes a lot of sense.
00:47:58I don't know.
00:48:00What about this thug? Does he satisfy you?
00:48:03You're just a piece of you that's been long left neglected.
00:48:07What does this have to do with my character?
00:48:16Jade is April Anderson.
00:48:18If April Anderson had a really hot and cool boyfriend named Rod, when you were 18 and he was 25
00:48:28and you want to impress him so bad, you really do have daddy issues.
00:48:35I do?
00:48:38Yeah.
00:48:39Because you had no one there for you in your life when you were sad and lonely.
00:48:45Because you tried to tell your mommy, right? You tried to tell her, but what did she do?
00:48:49She just walked away. So then what did you do?
00:48:52You tried to make up for the relationships in your life with men like Rod, mixing the heroin.
00:48:57When the heroin will never let you down, right? Not like mommy, not like daddy, not like Rod.
00:49:03These motherfuckers right here are trying to take away the only thing that helps you drop out.
00:49:08The only thing that doesn't let you down.
00:49:22What are you looking at, you fucking bitch?
00:49:26You want to lick this pussy?
00:49:28You want to suck on this tiny puckered up butthole?
00:49:31Well, fuck you.
00:49:33Fuck all of you.
00:49:35H is my family now.
00:49:37H is my home.
00:49:39So give me that little baggie before I cut all of you motherfuckers.
00:49:46And walk out of here like I never knew you.
00:49:51I think we got that one.
00:49:54Yeah.
00:49:57So you said find an outlet, right?
00:49:59This is my dance. I want to show it to you.
00:50:07This is a manifestation of my inner turmoil.
00:50:10Lights.
00:50:23To me.
00:50:29What do you mean there?
00:50:30I don't know what you mean there.
00:50:33You can change it.
00:50:35Exactly.
00:50:35You can change it.
00:50:36I need to go of my mind.
00:50:40I'm sorry.
00:50:41Since before I'm not сДĐčчас, it's hard to think.
00:50:45In that moment, Kat, aka Pamela Lewis, thought about what it would have been like to have real parents and
00:50:51healthy mentors growing up, like what she was for Charlie.
00:50:54But in the ghettos of Oklahoma, where oil and Jesus reign supreme over education and health care just didn't work
00:50:59out that way.
00:51:00Her teachers didn't get paid enough to make a living, hated their jobs, stressed about money, their own lost potential,
00:51:06never made enough to get out, take it out on students, eyeballing you, trying to catch you slipping.
00:51:10Talk down to you like you're stupid, making you give up, making you stupid.
00:51:14No vocabulary to articulate yourself. Who can learn from somebody who's got it out for you?
00:51:19Metal detectors, drug dogs, kids in gangs, drunk and high, try to blend in, slide by.
00:51:24No money to get out, take a puff and a swig and try to escape the fact that you're f***ed
00:51:27by the system.
00:51:29Find a mentor, they give you knowledge in exchange for sex.
00:51:32Look for God, nobody's there but crooks.
00:51:34They want your last dime, say it's for God, their God, the right God, no chance.
00:51:38See behind the curtain enough and you can make your own racket.
00:51:42Dear Jesus, I hope I make you proud.
00:51:46Please let this party be really fun and help me be better friends with my roommates.
00:51:54Please let Daniel be there and help me book a life-changing role, only if it's your will, of course.
00:52:02I just want to live a life that's pleasing to you.
00:52:06You want to live a life that's pleasing to you?
00:52:08Yes, Father, more than anything.
00:52:13Father, what would you like me to do?
00:52:21Are you there?
00:52:26Please be there.
00:52:28I don't want to be alone anymore.
00:52:30No, I don't want to be alone anymore.
00:52:31No, I don't want to be alone.
00:52:36No, I don't want to be alone anymore.
00:52:37Nobody loves me.
00:52:43Please be there.
00:52:55I'm not going to have to go.
00:52:56I'm not going to...
00:54:45Neither did Joseph Smith. He's a rambler man. Just like Hank Williams. Just like Pop Dylan. Just like every hobo
00:54:53from here to Hoboken.
00:54:54I think you're a rambler man right now.
00:54:57Oh, good. I'll find a way to get rich off of it. Turn me into a rock star and I'll
00:55:04march like Jesus, you know? Go with this Jesus dick.
00:55:07I don't need that. Please just let me get through my spiel, huh?
00:55:10What's the hearer spiel, babe?
00:55:12It's the hearer spiel.
00:55:15Hi.
00:55:16Oh, no. I think we're okay.
00:55:18Ah, Jehovah!
00:55:18Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, not really. We're Mormons. It's different. A lot of people make that mistake, actually.
00:55:25Oh.
00:55:28So, do you boys slip in Del City?
00:55:31Yep. Old Del. Del shitty.
00:55:34Kat, you're with me from here, right?
00:55:36Yeah. Left a few years back.
00:55:40Did you leave for acting?
00:55:43No, I left to find more open-minded people.
00:55:47Did you find me?
00:55:48I found that the open-minded can also be the small-minded.
00:55:52Then I found spirituality and took a real deep dive. I was actually pretty sold for a while.
00:55:58Until I realized it was all a crock of shit and I should probably just find an angle.
00:56:02Interesting.
00:56:03So, what is your angle?
00:56:05If you can't beat them, join them. Then beat them at their own game.
00:56:10Who do you need to beat?
00:56:12The world.
00:56:12Yes, the world is full of sin.
00:56:15You know, you might want to think about changing up your look.
00:56:17Dan, you want to convert?
00:56:19He's right. If you want to join him, you've got to blend in.
00:56:22A mask of sanity in order to convert the masses.
00:56:25Believe me, I'm working on a rebranding of sorts.
00:56:27Well, I like to think that it's important to have a tradition in God, you know?
00:56:31Without God, there would be anarchism.
00:56:33Or just science.
00:56:34People need a moral compass. You know, like Jesus Christ.
00:56:37Yes, Jesus' example helps to save us from ourselves and our sinful natures.
00:56:42Yeah, but like there's also, you know, people that just want to be good people.
00:56:48You know, the Bible can be used to sway people to agendas, you know?
00:56:52But not the Book of Mormon.
00:56:54Ho there, brother. You're talking nonsense now.
00:56:57I once met a spirit in the Black Hills who said all the things we devote our time to,
00:57:01whether it be religion, spirituality, or just eating yourselves to death,
00:57:05or just time-sucking rabbit holes,
00:57:06and then all the life will go on, no matter what you devote your time to.
00:57:10We're all going to be dust anyways.
00:57:12Yeah, I mean, you know, when life began on the star planet Kolob...
00:57:17Kolob, Daniel, you are so funny.
00:57:21Yep, that's Daniel.
00:57:23He says some pretty wild things to get her eyes out of people sometimes, don't you?
00:57:30Well, that's fancy.
00:57:32Well, it was a Scientology parting gift.
00:57:35I felt that I was deserving of a seventh package of sorts.
00:57:39The blood is in here, you son.
00:57:41Yes, master, there.
00:57:42From grapes that have burst forth of their mother's womb
00:57:45at the very edge of angst and frustration
00:57:48to live a new kind of existence,
00:57:51forgoing death as wasted fruits on the vine,
00:57:55bled out slowly from pure skin like a slaughtered lamb,
00:57:58grown from fields of lovers and orgies, death and doom,
00:58:02cries out to be drunk until its final drop,
00:58:05is returned to a new womb, a new seed to begin again.
00:58:08It always finds a way.
00:58:10Drink me at your own risk,
00:58:11for this night all will reap what they sow to the last drop.
00:58:16Ba-da-da-da-da.
00:58:18Drink responsibly.
00:58:19Well, cheers to Kat and her new home
00:58:24and to love and confidence.
00:58:27To Doug, to my career and cosmic hope.
00:58:36To the blood of the Lamb, though.
00:58:42And to God's will.
00:58:43To spiritual revelations.
00:58:54What?
00:58:58To drama for story is supreme.
00:59:02No one's forcing you to do anything.
00:59:04You forced me.
00:59:05You forced me to think about things,
00:59:07and now I'm ruined.
00:59:09What didn't you want to think about?
00:59:10My life, the world, the truth.
00:59:14Because without it, what?
00:59:16You've got to find something new to believe in?
00:59:18Is that it?
00:59:19No, without it, I've wasted my whole life.
00:59:22I don't have other stuff.
00:59:23You have other stuff.
00:59:24I don't have other stuff.
00:59:25I've spent 22 years only on this,
00:59:27and without this, I'm nothing.
00:59:28Without this, I'm a fraud like these people.
00:59:31Speak for yourself.
00:59:32I never pretended to believe in anything.
00:59:34You're the biggest fraud of all.
00:59:35Your whole job is pretending.
00:59:37Relax, Daniel.
00:59:38I can't just relax.
00:59:39I'm not like you.
00:59:39I can't just relax when I know
00:59:42that there's nothing.
00:59:43I know that there's nothing.
00:59:45I know you guys are right.
00:59:46I know the world doesn't mean anything,
00:59:48and that we're all going to die,
00:59:50and that none of what we do here matters.
00:59:52I know that.
01:00:00Be still, Daniel.
01:00:18I'd like to apologize to all of you
01:00:22for ruining your evening.
01:00:26Daniel!
01:00:29Well, should we play a game?
01:00:48Don't you know what I'm doing?
01:00:50Come on.
01:00:52You know what I'm doing.
01:00:52You dance for me.
01:00:53You know what I'm doing.
01:00:54Max on the box.
01:00:55You don't care about your thoughts.
01:00:57You don't feel what you feel.
01:00:59Girl, no, I don't hear you.
01:01:02Come on, white girl.
01:01:03I can't, I can't, okay, I'll open it up.
01:01:05I don't need your shots, shut up.
01:01:09You smell like a 40-year-old man.
01:01:16All right, Jen, let's see it.
01:01:23All right.
01:01:36We have charades.
01:01:37We remember when we got...
01:01:39It's like a kid's game.
01:01:40What?
01:01:41No, it's fun for every, everyone.
01:01:53Occupation.
01:01:54Yeah.
01:01:56Two words.
01:01:57Second one.
01:01:59Can't we at least play some music in the background,
01:02:01or are we just gonna sit here staring at each other?
01:02:05Driving?
01:02:06Drive.
01:02:07Driver.
01:02:08It's not an occupation, it's a movie.
01:02:11What?
01:02:12It's a movie.
01:02:14You've never seen Taxi Driver?
01:02:16What do you mean?
01:02:17You're an actor.
01:02:19I don't understand actors that don't watch movies.
01:02:21I... I love movies.
01:02:24Well, then watch them.
01:02:26I don't know why I'm being such a dick right now.
01:02:29I'm not being a dick, I'm just being honest.
01:02:32God, that's the problem with Midwestern people.
01:02:34They can't take criticism.
01:02:36That's why you guys never advance.
01:02:37Y'all are all just sitting around letting each other suck.
01:02:39I don't suck.
01:02:41You're just... drunk.
01:02:44Well...
01:02:44No mentor's perfect.
01:02:49Mentor?
01:02:50Oh yeah, why'd you think I was your girlfriend?
01:02:54No.
01:02:56Charlie, don't be like that.
01:02:58Dude, you gotta let your skin toughen up.
01:03:03You don't care about what people think about you?
01:03:05I don't have to pray for some comedian to come take over my body.
01:03:10What do you say?
01:03:22Where does this stuff come from?
01:03:30I just sort of feel it and free-write what comes to me.
01:03:35You just feel it?
01:03:37Is that what everyone does?
01:03:38They just feel it and then they write it down and then someone else decides that it's true and that's
01:03:42how we all got here?
01:03:44Maybe. Does it matter?
01:03:46Does it matter?
01:03:48I'm sorry.
01:03:49If it makes you a better person, does it matter?
01:03:52I don't know. I'm really confused. I'm doing really bad. I shouldn't have drank that wine. I'm a real piece
01:03:57of turd.
01:03:58Jesus drank wine.
01:03:59That doesn't make it right.
01:04:01They give it away at communion.
01:04:03Is that like sacrament?
01:04:10Open your mouth.
01:04:12What?
01:04:12I'm going to show you how we take communion.
01:04:16Okay.
01:04:40I feel like you've done this before.
01:04:43Maybe I'm just a natural.
01:04:47To the blood.
01:04:52To the blood.
01:04:54To the blood.
01:04:56To the blood.
01:04:59Okay.
01:05:10I'm not doing that.
01:05:11Why not?
01:05:13Because I hate that guy.
01:05:14Why?
01:05:16Because he's a two-bit hack that steals jokes. That's why.
01:05:25I'm going to go call Doug.
01:05:28I've got all the shit I've got to do tomorrow.
01:05:31Good night.
01:05:36Who doesn't like no hamburger?
01:05:43You know what?
01:05:44Let's just go drink for drink with the accent game.
01:05:46What's the accent game?
01:05:48That good one.
01:05:57Stupid.
01:05:59Fat.慭
01:06:02났has. Half
01:06:03girl. You.
01:06:05Yeah.
01:06:23what's it like to walk into a room dick first
01:06:28god you have such a way with words you know that do i yeah
01:06:35i mean the things you say they're like brilliant little treasure nuggets that i don't know they
01:06:42just make you seem like somebody special like jesus or manson i haven't really figured it out yet
01:06:53well the only thing that separates the prophet from the madman is that one can hold it together
01:06:59better in public so you don't believe in any religion is that possible if you believe in
01:07:08poltergeist well i don't know if there's a god i mean if i think it's probably more like a god
01:07:19is energy quantum god kind of thing more than any of that i believe in myself
01:07:28i believe in you too i'm serious
01:07:35i have this repetitive dream where i'm leading masses of people to safety in the zombie apocalypse
01:07:44zombie apocalypse
01:07:47it's not always a zombie apocalypse
01:07:52sometimes it's vampires or nazis or pedophiles or just monsters
01:08:01they teach them how to escape and then i show them how to defend themselves
01:08:08masses and masses of people
01:08:12i think it's my destiny
01:08:16will i follow you to safety
01:08:20will i follow you anywhere
01:08:24i guess pretty soon you'll be excommunicated
01:08:29yeah
01:08:31but also because
01:08:33you sound like a pied piper
01:09:02i just needed to
01:09:05book it for myself you know
01:09:07come on baby maybe you just dodged a huge bullet and you don't even know it
01:09:10i just can't believe cat got the part
01:09:16bitch
01:09:18she sabotaged me
01:09:20do you know how that feels
01:09:23to be manipulated by someone you trusted
01:09:27i let her get in my head now i keep hearing her voice
01:09:31i don't know who i am anymore
01:09:34i'll always be my superstar
01:10:02i'll always be my superstar
01:10:08hard
01:10:15oh
01:10:17and
01:10:18right
01:10:21you
01:10:22and
01:10:32waren
01:10:35Really? You're gonna take my virginity and just sneak out?
01:10:40Um, okay. Uh, first of all, I don't think it's really fair for you to say that I took your
01:10:44virginity.
01:10:45If anything, you threw it at me, and I just sort of caught it.
01:10:48So if anybody took anything from anybody, it's you taking it from me.
01:10:51And also, second of all, yes, I'm sneaking out. I don't know what to do. We weren't trained for this.
01:10:55Um, so I was gonna sneak out, but now I'm just regular leaving, which I apologize about.
01:11:00Oh, God.
01:11:00Also, this isn't me converted to Catholicism. I don't know how you guys count that, but please don't count me
01:11:05so far.
01:11:06Nobody thought you were, but fine!
01:11:08That's actually a huge relief. Should... Should I leave money?
01:11:12What?
01:11:12I don't know, for offering or damages.
01:11:15Oh, my God!
01:11:16Yeah, yeah!
01:11:17Yep, yep, okay, yep.
01:11:19Get out!
01:11:19I appreciate a great night. It was nice to meet you.
01:11:50She's gotta go. She's f***ed up.
01:11:52Yeah, she sabotaged my audition so she could book my role.
01:11:55Yeah, well, she took a shit in my underwear!
01:12:01And she also did some really sexual things with me with paint and weed and linseed oil and I don't
01:12:06even know what happened.
01:12:06And there's no f***ing way she doesn't use dishes.
01:12:10She's possessed by a demon.
01:12:11What?
01:12:12She brought a demon into this house and said it was a ghost that was already here.
01:12:17But it's not!
01:12:18It's her!
01:12:19And she's been turning us into heathens!
01:12:22Yeah, okay, but...
01:12:23What should we do? Do we kick her out?
01:12:25Yeah, I can't, but if you wanna do it...
01:12:27An exorcism!
01:12:28That's what we need to do!
01:12:31Man, okay.
01:12:34Okay.
01:12:36Okay, thanks.
01:12:42By the powers of our Lord Jesus Christ, may you be snatched away, most cunning serpents.
01:12:50Our Most High God commands you.
01:12:52He with whom, in all of your insolence, you still claim to be equal.
01:12:58Wait, is this a scene? Are you guys filming right now?
01:13:02God the Father commands you!
01:13:04God the Son commands you!
01:13:06The Holy Ghost commands you!
01:13:09Oh, good job, Beth.
01:13:10It's not a scene I'm trying to rid you of your demons.
01:13:13Oh.
01:13:14Not even Christ himself could do this.
01:13:16Nice try to...
01:13:17She's trying to fix you, asshole!
01:13:18Why am I an asshole?
01:13:20You sabotaged my audition.
01:13:22I thought you were gay.
01:13:24You turned us all to sin!
01:13:26The sacred sign of the cross commands you!
01:13:30The blood of the martyrs and the intercession of all the saints commands you!
01:13:35You, thus, cursed dragon!
01:13:38And you, diabolical legions!
01:13:42Be gone, Satan!
01:13:53I love that junto!
01:13:56The two, that's gonna stay damaged.
01:14:14There are two other
01:14:19Wait a second, this really happened?
01:14:21Which part?
01:14:23Basically everything after the party.
01:14:25I'm not proud of it.
01:14:28But you all tied up one of your roommates after a party
01:14:32because one of you suggested she might be possessed?
01:14:35Are you shaming me?
01:14:38I'm just trying to wrap my head around all this and get it straight.
01:14:41So your other roommate, the red-headed April,
01:14:46she was actually possessed by a demon.
01:14:49Well, not actually a demon.
01:14:50I mean, just let me finish.
01:14:52Good dog.
01:15:07San Francisco!
01:15:09Yeah, this is my favorite spot in the Bay Area.
01:15:11It's been my favorite spot since the 1980s.
01:15:13That's how long I've been touring the circuit.
01:15:14Who doesn't like a good fish, Joe?
01:15:16Who doesn't like a good fish, Joe?
01:15:17Who doesn't like a good fish, Joe?
01:15:19Two fish in a tank.
01:15:19One fish says to the other,
01:15:20Hey, how do you drive this thing?
01:15:22Shark eats a clownfish.
01:15:24It tastes kind of funny.
01:15:25Speaking of funny,
01:15:26you know where fish keep their money?
01:15:27In a riverbank.
01:15:28Shark's favorite movie,
01:15:29Shark Shank.
01:15:30Say, I'm trying to get in touch with a fish.
01:15:32Why don't you drop him a line?
01:15:33How about a fish with a tie?
01:15:34Very sophisticated.
01:15:37You know, fish swim in salt water
01:15:38because the pepper makes him sneeze.
01:15:39Hey, what's going on with that shellfish over there?
01:15:41I don't know.
01:15:42Somebody call the clambulance, please.
01:15:45Fish walks into a bar.
01:15:46Bartender says,
01:15:47What can I get you?
01:15:48The fish says,
01:15:48Water.
01:15:49I need water.
01:15:50Easiest way to catch a fish,
01:15:51have your buddy throw one to you.
01:15:53Say, anybody in the audience
01:15:54have you got a fish sandwich?
01:15:55Fish sandwich.
01:15:56Fish sandwich.
01:15:57You guys got a fish sandwich?
01:15:58I can do a mean party trick.
01:15:59This broad knows what I'm talking about.
01:16:00Hey, nice set of pearls.
01:16:02It's a fish thing!
01:16:04This is weird.
01:16:08So after the poltergeist Mario
01:16:10was done with his set,
01:16:11all of the roommates
01:16:12were in such a state of shock
01:16:13they had no response.
01:16:14I hadn't seen this one before.
01:16:15They treated their possession
01:16:16as though it was normal
01:16:17living as roommate stuff.
01:16:19And then we just started living
01:16:20with Mario as sort of fifth roommate
01:16:22that just happened to share a room
01:16:23with April from then on.
01:16:24Oh, I got along great with Mario.
01:16:27He also came from
01:16:28a straight Catholic upbringing.
01:16:40I got along great with Mario.
01:17:05I don't know if I'd say Mario
01:17:06is my best friend.
01:17:07I think that honor still goes to Jed
01:17:09just because of our history.
01:17:11But I've definitely never connected
01:17:13with anyone like I've connected
01:17:14with Mario.
01:17:15I mean, we talk about comedy
01:17:16all the time.
01:17:17He's shown me a lot of stuff
01:17:18from when he was alive
01:17:19that I never would have seen.
01:17:20He's really helped me
01:17:22sort of hone my voice
01:17:23in a way that I don't think
01:17:24I would have done without him.
01:17:28So, what about your roommate, Kat?
01:17:30Hmm, well, I guess, you know,
01:17:32Mario kind of took all the attention
01:17:33in the house after that.
01:17:34He was just such a character.
01:17:36And then Kat kind of fell
01:17:38through the cracks,
01:17:38which she was okay with.
01:17:40I mean, especially after the exorcism.
01:17:42And she just kept saying
01:17:43she was writing a manifesto.
01:17:44And then a month later,
01:17:47she was just gone.
01:18:02Hi!
01:18:03Can I help you?
01:18:04Um, I made it.
01:18:06What a drive.
01:18:07Oh, I am Kat Carol.
01:18:11Willa, I talked to her on Facebook
01:18:13and she's letting me
01:18:14sublease her room
01:18:15while she's out of town.
01:18:16I already paid for her
01:18:18the last few months,
01:18:19but it took me a while
01:18:20to get here because
01:18:21I ended up booking this gig
01:18:22in L.A. playing a heroin addict.
01:18:24So, we had to shoot for a while
01:18:26and, but I'm here now.
01:18:30Willa said you all
01:18:32would be expecting me.
01:18:33I like your flowers
01:18:34on your face.
01:18:36Thanks!
01:18:38Your room's this way.
01:18:46So, how do you feel now?
01:18:48Um, I've been completely
01:18:50out of my body ever since.
01:18:52Uh, I've been talking
01:18:53to my parents about
01:18:54going to a center
01:18:55or a facility
01:18:56to get some professional help.
01:18:59It's just a little...
01:19:01I feel surprisingly
01:19:02at peace about the whole thing.
01:19:08Do you believe in Patricia Lewis
01:19:10even after she conned you?
01:19:12Like I said,
01:19:13it was like a brothel.
01:19:15Acting is like prostitution.
01:19:17A woman just putting themselves
01:19:19out there,
01:19:20giving themselves away
01:19:20for just a taste.
01:19:22And Jesus loved prostitutes,
01:19:23you know why?
01:19:24Because they don't let
01:19:25persecution and judges
01:19:27get in the way
01:19:27of doing the Lord's work.
01:19:29It's a real artist, too.
01:19:32David Lynch,
01:19:33Phoebe Waller-Bridge,
01:19:34that guy from The Aviator.
01:19:36The what?
01:19:38God damn it.
01:19:39All I'm saying is
01:19:40the sooner you start
01:19:41doing whatever the fuck
01:19:42you want
01:19:42and stop worrying
01:19:43about everybody else,
01:19:44the better.
01:19:58Don't talk to strangers
01:20:01They'll kiss you
01:20:03while you're down
01:20:05Follow your instincts
01:20:09Just let it all hang out
01:20:13Although you hold his hand
01:20:18Your mother won't abide
01:20:22He'll hold you like a stone
01:20:26For 1,500 miles
01:20:30It's gonna be all right
01:20:35It's gonna be all right
01:20:39Don't talk to strangers
01:20:42They'll take it all away
01:20:46Come to your senses
01:20:51Step out of the way
01:21:03Get out of the way
01:21:27It's gonna be all right
01:21:31It's gonna be all right
01:21:41Don't talk to strangers
01:21:58Don't talk to strangers
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