- 10 minutes ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:00The school budget, which Anderson single-handedly oversees, said we spent $129 on.
00:04Mouse pads. No mouse pads.
00:06You know how I feel about protecting Liz.
00:08I apologized.
00:09Previously on Elle.
00:10Robin's funeral will be in Denver, where most of her family lives.
00:13So I panicked and offered to throw her a memorial.
00:16Let me help.
00:17Whoever Robin was to you, thank you for being here today to pay your respects.
00:24I'm so sorry for your loss.
00:26I appreciate that.
00:27I kissed Elle.
00:28I don't want to look at you.
00:30I don't want to be around you.
00:31And you can tell, Elle, I am done with her, too.
00:33I don't want to lose Shannon as a friend.
00:53These are for you.
00:55And these are for your daughter.
00:58She's probably never going to speak to me again.
01:02I am so, so sorry.
01:06To both of you.
01:12You know, while I have you here, maybe you could put in a good word to Shannon?
01:16She's gone, too.
01:18Well, she's not dead, obviously.
01:20Not that there's anything wrong with that.
01:24But I'm so sorry.
01:25I kissed Miles.
01:28Your daughter had recently broken up with him.
01:31She broke up with him?
01:33I don't know if you caught that for you.
01:37You know.
01:39But I will make this right.
01:46Some of us are busy paying our respects here.
01:53Why isn't there a stop sign at this intersection?
01:58Why isn't there a stop sign at this intersection?
02:12One will suffice.
02:14Hi.
02:15I have this petition for a stop sign.
02:17There's this really dangerous intersection near our school.
02:20You'll see I have the requisite 1,000 signatures.
02:24So, you're going to win Shannon back with a stop sign?
02:28Seems like it would have been easier to just not kiss her boyfriend.
02:31Ex-boyfriend.
02:32She means ex-boyfriend.
02:35That detail's not for public consumption yet.
02:38And this isn't about Shannon and me.
02:40It's for the greater good.
02:42I can't undo the mistake I made, but this is something I can do.
02:47With your help, of course.
02:48According to our records, we already approved a stop sign at the corner of 50th and Evans last June, in
02:56fact.
02:57I can assure you, there is no such stop sign at said intersection.
03:01We approved the stop sign, but the school elected to handle contracting themselves.
03:07Sorry, I don't understand.
03:09Are you saying someone ordered a stop sign but never paid for it?
03:14It says right here.
03:15One stop sign requested by and granted to Rainier West High School Board, point of contact, Shane Anderson.
03:25I'm only happy when it rains
03:28I'm only happy when it's complicated
03:32I know, I know you can't appreciate it
03:36I'm only happy when it rains
03:48You'll want to hear about my new obsession
03:56I'm like, no, I know you can't appreciate it
04:00I'm only happy when it rains
04:05You'll want to hear about my new obsession
04:08I'm riding high upon a deep depression
04:12I'm only happy when it rains
04:15I'm only happy when it rains
04:18I'm only happy when it rains
04:27Are you following?
04:29Can you rewind a little bit?
04:31Some video store humor for you there
04:33But also I mean it, go back a little
04:35Sure, Principal Anderson either forgot to purchase the stop sign he ordered for the school entrance
04:41Or he got the school board to cough up the money and took it for himself
04:44Just like he did with the yield sign and the two-note parking signs by the truck
04:47Anderson requested and received $15,600 from the school board for campus signs alone
04:53And that doesn't even include mouse pads, tater tots, gym mats, and a bunch of other stuff we found in
04:57the school budget that doesn't exist in real life
04:59Hmm
05:00Did you pay for that candy?
05:02As if I'm going to put Blockbuster out of business, they'll be fine
05:06This is what got you fired in the first place
05:08Alright, I know you're all very excited by this theory
05:10But I think you should direct your amateur detective efforts elsewhere
05:17What is he doing here?
05:19Hey, uh, Dustin called me, filled me in
05:21Why would you do that?
05:23We can use the extra brain pilot, plus he's Shannon's boyfriend
05:28X
05:32What am I missing?
05:33There aren't a friendship sabbatical
05:35I'm just here to help
05:41Anyway, you were Principal Anderson's secretary for two years
05:45Do you think he could have stolen all that money?
05:47I don't know, I'm such a rule follower
05:50Well, the teachers love him, parents love him
05:54He was just a finalist for State Principal of the Year
05:57People spoke
05:58But, but, he sucks
06:01Fine, but you can't just order things and not buy them
06:06There is a record
06:07And plus, I would know
06:08I've spent hours filing receipts and invoices
06:11Did he have receipts for the stuff we don't have?
06:13Mousepads, tater tots, gym mats
06:15I don't know
06:16Because I'm staying out of it
06:18Hypothetically, where would these receipts be?
06:20In his file cabinet in his office, which is always locked
06:24Can we break in?
06:25If it opens, it can be broken into
06:27Oh
06:28I have a lot of bobby pins from my French twist period
06:34We steal Frank's master key
06:35Got it
06:36Wait, Frank the maintenance guy? I thought he was fired
06:37His schedule got shifted to weekends
06:39Budget cuts
06:41Yeah, good luck
06:42When I'd ask Frank for the key to the snack closet
06:44He'd say, from my cold, dead hand
06:46Right, because you have to pay for snacks
06:47Oh, wow
06:48Okay, so let's say we somehow get into the school on Saturday
06:52Get the key off Frank
06:53What do we do?
06:54We break into Anderson's office
06:55Make copies of the receipts
06:57Cross-reference them with the budget
06:59If anything's missing, that's evidence we can take to the school board
07:02Easy
07:02Now we just need an excuse to be in school
07:05Over the weekend
07:09Guys
07:20Hello, Rainier West High
07:21This is Liz Miller coming to you live from the A.B. room
07:24Please rise for the national anthem
07:37Coming through
07:41Dustin, principal's office, now
07:46This period was not designed for you to take a nap
07:53Take that to the principal's office
08:11For you
08:16From the League of Women Voters
08:19Thank you
08:35Listen up
08:37Operation manifest Anderson's demise
08:40By breaking into his office to expose his hypocrisy
08:43Starts now
08:45Subtle
08:46Once the detention monitor gets here
08:48We'll initiate base one
08:50Key loop sabotage
08:52I took the liberty of fleshing out the plan a bit
08:55What's that smell?
09:00Is this lavender scented?
09:03Great nose, Liz
09:05Lavender is a naturally calming fragrance
09:07And heists are known to be quite nervy
09:10Whoa
09:11When did detention get so uncool?
09:14I'm sorry, what are you doing here?
09:16Oh, turns out nine tardies is six too many
09:19So
09:21Didn't expect to see good girl Barbie serving time
09:23What'd you do?
09:24Turn in an English essay in the dialect of a valley girl?
09:28I don't speak valley
09:30I only go there for sushi and designer discounts
09:33Oh
09:33Yeah, Elle's actually the biggest badass here
09:36Really?
09:38Enlighten me
09:40Pied Anderson in the face?
09:42Don't want to talk about it
09:43Elle Woods pied the principal
09:45That's shockingly epic
09:49Thank you
09:50But it's now 9.23am
09:53Does detention not start at 9.15?
09:56Where's our monitor?
09:59Here we go
10:00I heard that
10:03You forgot your lunch
10:04Oh, I didn't
10:09I think someone might miss being at school
10:11Okay, delinquents
10:14Here's how this is going to work
10:16Every one of these books
10:18It's going to be reshelled by 3.00pm
10:20So get friendly with our Dewey Decimal System
10:33Phase one
10:50May I please request the hall pass?
11:07Frank
11:08Frank
11:47I'll show you back by now
11:519.15 cut key loop
11:5310.15 flood toilets
11:55What does this mean?
11:55Why does it smell like my grandma?
11:57Not for you
12:02Okay, you guys are being even more yourselves than usual
12:06Did you Trojan horse yourselves into detention?
12:09What's going on?
12:10Okay, why don't you go stack some books?
12:11I should know if I'm about to become an unwitting accomplice
12:13To some lame secret operation
12:16Guys, um
12:18She could actually be useful
12:20Oh, thank you
12:21Why? Do we have a role for an overly confident mean girl?
12:24This is Martindale
12:24I think my fellow delinquents are up to something shady
12:26Wait, okay, you have no idea what you're doing
12:28As I said moments ago
12:29I would love to be in the loop
12:35Fine
12:35We think someone here at a very high level
12:39Is embezzling money from the school
12:43So you all wasted the only sunny Saturday
12:46In the last two months
12:47To, what?
12:49Care?
12:49You're right
12:50Super useful
12:51Okay, I'm sorry
12:51It's not like it's our own personal money
12:53The stolen funds were meant for a stop sign
12:55In the intersection where Robin had her accident
13:00Count me in
13:01Who do I bludgeon?
13:03Anderson
13:04We need to break into his office to prove it
13:18What the?
13:21Great
13:22Great
13:37Oh
13:39Miss Burke
13:40Hi
13:41Hi
13:42Oh
13:43I'm just coming from the bathroom
13:46You know, taking the scenic route
13:49Gotta keep the blood flowing, right?
13:52Detention's the enemy of cardiovascular hell
13:54Detention?
13:56Doesn't sound like Elle Woods
14:00If anyone asks, I threw a pie in Anderson's face
14:03What?
14:05I didn't actually
14:06But all my friends got detention
14:08So I decided to join them
14:10For moral support
14:12Oh
14:13Protective and caring
14:15How very cancer of you
14:17Oh, I'm a Gemini
14:19Oh
14:20Maybe cusp then
14:22No, my birthday's June 20th
14:24Purebred Gemini
14:25My sister is Gemini rising
14:28Or Gemini moon
14:30Or she dated a Gemini
14:32Wow, I have got to call my sister
14:34Sorry
14:35You should get back to detention
14:37Yes
14:37Well, there is something I never thought I'd say to you
14:40You and me both
14:41Oh, don't forget to sign up for the science fair
14:43Welcome to Medina Town Hall
14:48Like any other hall in any other town
14:51And you brought me here to do what?
14:54Well, when we first met
14:55You were very honest about my campaign needing a refresh
15:00But I don't know anything about political speeches
15:02You know about presentation
15:05All right?
15:05If it wasn't for you
15:06I would still have that mustache
15:07That nobody else told me made me look like a serial killer
15:10And I would still be dressing like, um
15:14Ted Bundy
15:15I was going to say Jordan Catalano, but
15:18From my so-called life?
15:20No
15:22Here's my question
15:24How do I get people to like me?
15:31You're going to be presenting here
15:33And against that color scheme
15:36You're going to be standing
15:40All right, get up there
15:41Let's see how the people will see you
15:42Okay
15:50Yikes
15:52That's what I'm talking about
15:53Nixon
15:54Oh
15:55He swept through his first debate with Kennedy
15:56It cost him the entire election
15:58Okay
16:00We're going to need some powder foundation
16:03Some incandescent lighting
16:04And I will send you to my chiropractor
16:07To work on your posture a bit
16:09And I know you've been kind of
16:12Experimenting with a few things up there
16:13But I'm just going to fly out my hairstylist
16:15Great
16:18Great
16:18You want to come check out my campaign office after this?
16:21Oh, I would love to
16:23But I got to pick Elle up from detention at three
16:26Detention?
16:27She seemed so sweet when she was cajoling me
16:30And to renting a booth for her homecoming
16:31Yeah
16:32She has some ludicrous theory
16:35About her principal stealing funds from the school
16:37Can you go to the other podium?
16:40Your better angle needs to face the TV cameras
16:43Hold on
16:44Elle thinks that Shane Anderson is stealing money
16:47Yes
16:47And she can be very convincing when she's invested in something
16:54I think our best bet is to do this by candlelight
17:07Phase one is complete
17:08Is phase two killing Anderson?
17:11You guys told Kimberly?
17:12I was forced
17:13Oh, like someone forced you to wear those pants
17:15Remember when you got nicer?
17:17Can we go back to that?
17:18Okay
17:18Phase two
17:19What does consolidate and secure personal care essentials mean?
17:40Can I help you?
17:41That looks so familiar
17:44Oh, yeah, it's Cujo
17:46I kind of thought it was banned
17:48And I will therefore be prominently placing it right...
17:55Here
17:56No
17:57Your bracelet
17:59Camp Saddle Rock
18:00I saw it earlier and thought
18:03Who have I seen wearing that before?
18:06And then I thought
18:07Wait
18:08Liz has that bracelet
18:10And then I thought
18:11Get there faster
18:13Were you two at camp at the same time?
18:16Why in the world would that matter?
18:18I'm just trying to figure out what your damage is with each other
18:21With you and me
18:24We don't need to recap
18:26But Liz is like the most neutral force ever
18:28I'm sorry
18:29But Liz is not neutral
18:31Okay, so something did happen
18:33Did you have a big fight?
18:35You know, this might shock you
18:36But our lives didn't just start the second you appeared at this school
18:49What the hell is a friendship sabbatical?
18:52What?
18:53You and the running man are being weird
18:55What?
18:56No, we're not
18:57Stop playing with fire
18:59I'm not!
19:00Everyone's fine!
19:01You'll burn the place down
19:05Why are the quiet ones always
19:07Pyromaniacs
19:09And isn't Kujo banned?
19:13I'm moving to self-help
19:31So, uh
19:31I hear you and I are on some sort of embargo
19:36Embargo sabbatical
19:38Where are we?
19:39Thesaurus convention
19:44Are you okay?
19:46Yep
19:47You just shelved R.L. Stine in self-help
19:52One could argue his entire repertoire is a metaphor for the horrors of teen adolescence
19:58One could
20:02I messed up
20:05Maybe I shouldn't have told Shannon
20:08You were tiki drunk at her mom's memorial
20:11I know
20:11I screwed up
20:14But we both tried calling her
20:16She doesn't want to talk to us
20:19Not sure what else we can do
20:20Nothing
20:21We do nothing
20:22No more extended eye contact
20:25No more leaning against lockers
20:27No more
20:28Speaking to each other?
20:29I think we should avoid anything involving mouths
20:34Okay
20:36Can I ask?
20:38Respectfully
20:40Why?
20:41I mean, she already knows
20:44She's not here
20:48Because it's just not me, Miles
20:51I'm not that kind of girl
21:00Uh, there's a plumbing emergency in the ladies' room
21:03What?
21:04Did you say something?
21:06Toilets
21:09Exploded
21:11I'll call Frank
21:18How's my cue?
21:20Good luck
21:30Oh, come on
21:32Come on, come on, come on
21:50Why does every key look the same
21:52Miles?
21:56Principal Anderson
22:03Hey
22:05Did you drop this?
22:07Hilarious?
22:08I thought so
22:09Yeah, do you come up with these ahead of time
22:10Or is this just, like, off the top of your head?
22:12You think I'm funny
22:13Here's an idea
22:14Why don't you two stop fighting about
22:18The mineral economy
22:20And start getting ready for our next days
22:22Hey, guys
22:24We're screwed
22:25Sixty-one tampons
22:28And that's not to mention the super pluses
22:30They got so engorged
22:31They became one monster tampon rat king
22:37We're screwed
22:38Fire, blood, or flood
22:39I am not to be bothered on my days off
22:42Unless there's a fire, blood, or flood
22:44And you all chose the latter
22:47Mrs. Martindale
22:48You may take the rest of the day off
22:54They're all accounted for
22:56The one in the hood, he's alive
22:57He just looks comatose
23:03Uh, Miss Woods
23:07Yeah, might I ask what you're doing here?
23:18I am here to serve my time
23:19Just like everyone else
23:21Uh-huh
23:21Well, I'm just looking at my roster here
23:23I got the athlete
23:24The basket case
23:25The princess
23:26The criminal
23:27But no Elle Woods
23:28So
23:28What are you doing here, Miss Woods?
23:33You remember
23:35When I piked in the face
23:39When you
23:39I'm sorry, when you what?
23:41You know
23:43When I piked in the face
23:44I, no, I don't understand anything you're saying
23:48When she piked you in the face
23:51Oh
23:52What, you
23:53You mean the lemon meringue you gifted me
23:56For some woman thing?
23:59What?
24:02Seriously, why are you here?
24:09To scare myself straight
24:10Well, I guess now you're here
24:13Because you lied
24:15New deal
24:16No more hall passes
24:19We are all staying put
24:21Until three
24:23What if we need to use the facilities?
24:26Then I guess you're gonna have to get familiar
24:28With the concept of holding it
24:36Oh, my God
24:38You're Ally Sheedy?
24:41Elle Woods
24:42No, in the breakfast club
24:43There's the whole thing where they learn that Ally Sheedy didn't even have to be in detention
24:46She just
24:47Showed up
24:51Okay, I couldn't do it
24:52I really tried
24:53I even went to his office with the pie
24:56But I'm not a natural rule breaker
24:59And the consequences really flashed before your eyes once you're face to face with them
25:04Can you imagine
25:05Can you imagine what it's like inside her head?
25:06Wait, I'm sorry
25:06I thought that I was Ally Sheedy
25:08And I thought that you were Molly Ringwald
25:11Am I Molly Ringwald?
25:12Maybe we should have seen coming that Elle's bad at being bad
25:16Guys, whatever
25:17Elle's a model citizen
25:18We knew this
25:19We have more important things to deal with right now
25:20We need a plan B
25:45Yo, Kyle
25:48Wake up
25:49You wouldn't happen to have your, uh, you-know-what, would you?
25:54Have his what?
26:03All right, Mr. Jekkelson
26:04See you soon
26:09Principal Anderson
26:10We need you to settle an argument for us
26:13Do I actually need a pregnancy test to know that I'm pregnant?
26:17Uh
26:17I vote yes
26:19And I feel like those tests are just the patriarchy
26:22Trying to normalize corporations
26:23Charging women for something they already know about their own bodies
26:25Good point
26:26I do know when I'm ovulating
26:29Thoughts?
26:30Um
26:31Have you talked to your parents about this?
26:34Oh, my parents are religious
26:36We can't talk about sex
26:39Yeah
26:40Um, see Mrs. Nelson
26:42In the guidance counselor's office next week
26:44I'm sure she has a pamphlet
26:45Yeah, or something like that
26:50Okay
26:52Hmm
26:53I felt a kick
26:54Oh
26:55Oh?
26:56Is that a contraction?
26:58Yeah, I think that's what those feel like
27:00Like, itches, right?
27:01Uh
27:04Does anyone hear that?
27:06Hear what?
27:07I think it's coming from the ceiling
27:09Oh, my God, is that a rat?
27:11Yeah
27:12What?
27:13A rat?
27:14Yeah, you don't hear those old toenails?
27:15We should call maintenance
27:17No, no, no, no, no
27:19No, no, no
27:21This can wait until Monday
27:34Yikes
27:35Principal Anderson
27:36If there is a rat trapped in our school air ducts
27:39We, as the most evolved species of mammal in this room
27:42Are responsible for its well-being
27:44It's a rat
27:46A rat without access to food or water
27:48Not to mention daylight
27:51When was the last time these vents were cleaned?
27:53Anyone?
27:54I genuinely have no idea
27:56Do I need to make a call into PETA's own Linda McCartney
27:59And alert her to the inhumane living conditions at Rainier West High?
28:04Also, if it dies, it'll smell really bad
28:19Hey, Frank, it's Shane
28:22Yeah
28:23Would you mind bringing a ladder up to the library?
28:27Oh, and a jar of peanut butter
28:31For the rat, not for me
28:39Busy day
28:40I noticed that, too
28:48It sounds like he's right up here, Frank
28:52Give me that peanut butter
28:53No
29:08Spot me
29:09Oh, yeah
29:11Spot me
29:12Oh, yeah
29:38Gotcha
29:43Giant freaking rat
29:46That is no rat
29:48That is a ferret
29:51Okay, take it
29:54I am not touching that
29:57Kyle, how many times do we need to tell you
30:00No ferrets in school
30:02Get up here
30:08Uh, would you mind telling us how that thing got in the vents?
30:11Uh, yeah, I must have dozed off
30:13Sir
30:14I have six brothers and three sisters
30:15Uh-huh
30:17And this is the only place I really get any sleep
30:19Okay
30:19Well, then you'll be happy to know
30:21You're due back here next Saturday
30:23Alone
30:25Uh, thank you very much, sir
30:39Excuse me
30:41Uh, Principal Anderson, I think Kimberly's trying to get your attention
30:46What is it?
30:53Oh, my God
30:55Kimberly, do you have a peanut allergy?
30:59Uh, aren't those fatal?
31:00Did you bring your EpiPen?
31:02You know, you should really make a habit of keeping an unexpired pin on your person at all times
31:07In the event of an anaphylactic emergency
31:08Well, maybe if she doesn't die right now, she'll bear that in mind
31:11Uh, no, there is one
31:13It's in, uh, the nurse's office
31:15Um, uh, keep her calm
31:17Uh, and if any of you set foot outside this room
31:20You will be expelled
31:29God, I'm good
31:33I told you she'd be useful
31:34Okay, let's do this
31:36Anderson's old
31:37I give him four minutes to get the pen
31:39Tops
31:40That gives me three
31:41Yeah, are we sure we want to do this, guys?
31:43He said we could be expelled
31:44Well, if anyone's going to do this quickly
31:45It's going to be the fastest runner at this school
31:51To me, I'm the fastest runner
31:53We know
31:54Okay, I'll see you at 1121
31:56Bye
32:10For a second there, I thought you were in real danger
32:12Have you considered pursuing the theatrical arts?
32:15Should someone be standing lookout?
32:34My old neighbor discovered the Culkin family at a diner
32:36If you want to put yourself on tape, I could send it to her
32:38Huh, um, acting's not really my thing
32:46Is that funny?
32:49Kinda, yeah, considering
32:51Oh, really?
32:52Considering
32:53What?
32:55Oh, do you really need me to spell it out?
32:58Whatever
32:58I might
33:00Benefit from
33:02Some spelling out
33:08Okay
33:09Okay
33:09Okay
33:09Okay
33:10Okay
33:10Okay
33:11Okay
33:16Okay
33:17Okay
33:19Kimberly's good at acting
33:20Because she's in a perpetual state of performance
33:24Okay
33:24Okay
33:24Okay
33:24Say what you want
33:25I know who I am
33:27Great
33:27I know who you are too
33:28Great
33:29Then we have something in common
33:30You mean besides the fact you both have a thing for each other
33:37Okay
33:38Come on
33:40Come on Shane
33:41Come on Shane
33:43Up
33:44Happy
33:46Happy
33:47Pen
33:48This book you were fighting about earlier features two ladies looking very wistful, like full of wist.
33:57You were making fun of Liz for reading it, but I looked inside and you had checked it out from
34:01the library yourself multiple times.
34:04And then you have that secret drawer full of secret things.
34:07Okay. All right. Okay.
34:23What secret things?
34:24Your scenes. And also that camp bracelet.
34:27You went through my stuff?
34:28Not on purpose. But I think something happened between you two at that camp. Like romantically.
34:35And now you're caught in this whole Sam and Diane thing.
34:38From tears.
34:47You don't hate each other. You like each other. It's so cute.
34:57I don't know where you're going with this one.
35:02What's going on now?
35:03Oh my God.
35:05I did it again, didn't I?
35:07I don't know why my gaydar is so off.
35:09I mean, hearing myself say it, the camp thing did sound like a stretch.
35:16Anderson's on his way.
35:20But Miles should be back by now.
35:33Okay.
35:36Guys, we need to do something.
35:43Oh, come on Miles.
35:45Okay, what do we do?
35:52Um...
36:08Uh, quick question. What are you doing?
36:11Anderson won't notice Miles is missing if we're all missing.
36:22What is this?
36:26Movin' on so swiftly, we'll stretch this on.
36:29I pulled the covers over here and should've pulled the alarm.
36:33Turn to my nemesis.
36:36I'm all not fucking dying.
36:38You're all missing.
36:41Oh no.
36:45I can't believe you just did that.
36:47It's just a fire alarm, but it'll go off in a second.
36:49So let's get out of here.
36:52No!
36:53Oh boy.
37:18The sprinklers didn't just go off, did they?
37:21Huh?
37:22They were triggered by one of you.
37:27Isn't that right, Dustin?
37:31Yeah.
37:31You want me to believe this doesn't fit right in on your rap sheet?
37:35Mascot vandalism.
37:36Assembly without permission.
37:38Flagrant and recurring skateboarding in the hallways.
37:41And now, turning the entire school into your own personal swimming pool.
37:46Yeah.
37:46I'm sorry.
37:47This is all some big joke to you, huh?
37:49Right?
37:49It's not, not funny.
37:51Okay.
37:52All right.
37:52Here's the deal, guys.
37:53Okay?
37:55Nobody wants to tell me who did this.
37:56We all come back here next Saturday, play this game all over again, huh?
38:00Would you like that?
38:02How's that sitting with you, Miles?
38:04Wait a second.
38:05Isn't that Notre Dame scout coming to your cross-country meet next week?
38:08You sure you want to miss that?
38:11Hmm?
38:13Okay.
38:14Liz, you're going to miss another shift at Bad Vibrations while your mom works three jobs.
38:20That seems fair, huh?
38:22And you're on such thin ice already.
38:26Glad you pulled through, Kimberly.
38:28Yeah, I'm just relieved I was able to find that spare pen hidden in my inside backpack pocket.
38:33Oh, yeah.
38:34I mean, you're not even friends with these people.
38:37And now, you're willing to take the fall for them?
38:40Huh?
38:42Oh, I guess your parents won't be bragging about you at church tomorrow.
38:47And finally,
38:50Miss Woods.
38:53Aren't you above all this?
38:55You weren't even supposed to be here.
38:58And now, you're going to let some delinquent loser add destruction of school property to a flawless high school transcript.
39:05Dustin's not a delinquent loser.
39:06Okay, well, remember that next Saturday when you're sitting next to him.
39:11I actually won't be sitting next to him.
39:13Then start pointing fingers.
39:18Because it was me.
39:21No, it wasn't.
39:22It was.
39:23I did this.
39:25And I'm willing to serve my time.
39:27This isn't the Elwoods I know.
39:29Actually, Principal Anderson,
39:31a good intention turned unexpected mess is the Elwoods I know.
39:35And I've never felt more accountable in my life.
39:40Suit yourself.
39:41And apparently, I can't have you served attention in standing water,
39:45so I'm going to have to call it for today.
39:47But I will see you next weekend.
39:53Maybe you are that kind of girl.
40:12And in conclusion, that is why a second Saturday of detention is ultimately a net positive.
40:19While we have not confirmed the existence of the stolen funds,
40:23we do believe once we find a discrepancy in Anderson's paper trail,
40:27we will have the proof we need to expose his fraud.
40:29And where is this paper trail?
40:32Developing at Walgreens.
40:33Okay, El, I didn't love when you got detention in the first place, but you started a fire and flooded
40:40your entire campus.
40:44I've started researching teen wilderness programs.
40:48I couldn't let Miles get expelled.
40:50And maybe there are other sides to me.
40:53Maybe I'm not the rule-abiding Gemini I always thought.
40:56I mean, even Miss Burke accused me of being a Cancer.
40:58I hope this isn't your cusp starting to present.
41:02Okay, what is this cusp thing?
41:04How you were born during a transitional sun, now you're the Gemini, but you're a little bit of Cancer too.
41:11Miss Burke was right?
41:13But you've always said I was a Gemini.
41:16June 20th, 11.59pm. It's on my birth certificate.
41:20I could have sworn I told you about this.
41:23Telling me about what?
41:24How when I was pregnant, your dad had a pool at the office and everybody bet on which day you'd
41:30be born.
41:31Not ringing any bells.
41:32You remember. It's so fun.
41:34We wanted to stay in the good graces of the head of Cedar's plastic surgery division, who had placed a
41:40bed on June 20th.
41:41Which worked out for him because I was born on June 20th.
41:45And for us, look at the fabulous life we lead.
41:48We have a favorite bistro in Paris and a pilot on speed dial.
41:55We use summer as a verb.
41:56Mom, when was I born?
41:57June 21st.
41:59Mom!
41:59At 12.01am.
42:01What is two minutes in the grand scheme of things?
42:03My whole identity.
42:05Technically, your head was out at 11.59.
42:07Great! Great!
42:09So my head's a Gemini and my body's a cancer.
42:12This changes my entire emotional narrative.
42:16Did you nominally corroborate the lie I've been living the past 16 years?
42:24No.
42:26I had a mouse on the phone.
42:28Said it's important.
42:33How does a cancer cusp even answer the phone?
42:37This was with the receipts?
42:39It was shoved in the binder.
42:40The note said, what a beautiful family.
42:43Well, it did before the sprinklers washed it off.
42:46Okay, so we had a photo of his family?
42:48Yeah, but the note is creepy.
42:49And that's not his wife.
42:50His wife has red hair.
42:52And they don't have kids.
42:55I've seen that jacket before.
42:57I knew it didn't belong to his wife.
42:59He was dismissed from a school in Sunnyside, Washington for unknown reasons.
43:02This girl's wearing a shirt that says Sunnyside.
43:04Seems like she's the unknown reason.
43:08So we're saying this girl is his daughter.
43:12Wow.
43:13I mean, I thought he was having an affair,
43:16but I never thought he'd have a whole secret family.
43:20Maybe he was stealing the money to provide for them.
43:23Yeah, but that still doesn't explain the note.
43:25Unless the money isn't for his family.
43:27It's a pretty big secret.
43:28Almost worth stealing thousands of dollars to cover up.
43:32He was paying someone to keep quiet.
43:35Someone must be blackmailing him.
43:42Guys, I need your help.
43:45It's my mom.
43:51Oh, fuck.
43:59What do they want with your mom?
44:01She swore she didn't do anything.
44:02Why were they there?
44:03This is the police.
44:05Step out of your car with your hands up.
44:08They were there to arrest her.
44:10Look, thousands of dollars in cash was reported stolen from school today.
44:14Look, right near West High.
44:16Written all over them.
44:19Those aren't mine.
44:23We found it in her car.
44:25What?
44:26That's impossible.
44:26Donna would never steal.
44:30Well, she'd never steal that much.
44:32That doesn't make any sense.
44:34Donna wasn't even at the school today.
44:35Yes, she was.
44:36Do you remember?
44:36She dropped off my lunch.
44:40Okay, but Donna was the one who told us about the receipt.
44:43And then tried to convince us not to look for them.
44:45Didn't we just realize that someone was blackmailing Anderson?
44:50I'm sorry, what are you talking about?
44:52We think Anderson has a secret family and someone knows about it.
44:59You think my mom is blackmailing him?
45:01No.
45:02No way.
45:03Donna couldn't have done this.
45:11Could she?
45:44No way.
45:49No way.
45:51No way.
45:56No way.
46:00No way.
46:03No way.
46:04No way.
46:04No way.
46:05No way.
46:06No way.
46:06No way.
46:07No way.
46:08No way.
46:08No way.
46:08No way.
46:09No way.
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