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I have thousands and thousands of movies and TV series.
Let me know, I might have it for ya ;)
Some of my uploads get taken down pretty quickly, so enjoy them while they are available!
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FunTranscript
00:00:22Banners from Heaven
00:00:30You'll find your fortune falling all over town
00:00:35Be sure that your brother is up-up-up-up-up-upside down
00:00:40And trade them for a package of sunshine and ravioli
00:00:44Nice weather we're having, huh?
00:00:47Here in the kingdom of malaria, every day's forecast is rainy with a 100% chance of horror.
00:00:56It wasn't always like this, though.
00:00:58Years ago, malaria was a sunny land of farmers
00:01:01Until the mysterious storm clouds rolled in and never left.
00:01:06They killed our crops, and our people became poor.
00:01:11And that's when King Malbert thought up a new way for us to make money.
00:01:15Evil inventions.
00:01:17The kind that crush you, kill you, bring you back to life, then kill you again way worse.
00:01:23We invent them, and the world pays us not to unleash them.
00:01:25Oh, it's a great gig, especially if you're an evil scientist.
00:01:29Fame, fortune, a rent-free castle in the hills, they get it all.
00:01:34They're the top of the heap.
00:01:35Igor, hold the switch!
00:01:40Yes, master.
00:01:41And the bottom of the heap?
00:01:43Those are the poor slobs like me, born with a hunch on our back.
00:01:48Igors.
00:01:49Actually, that Igor's not me.
00:01:54Igor, hold the switch!
00:01:56Yes, master!
00:01:59No, no, no, that's not me either.
00:02:06That's me, see?
00:02:07I look nothing like those other guys.
00:02:08Much better looking.
00:02:10Anyway, all Igors are forced to serve evil scientists.
00:02:14Our life is a permanent graveyard shift.
00:02:17But I never wanted to be an Igor.
00:02:21I always wanted to be an evil scientist.
00:02:24Unfortunately, the hunch on my back was a one-way ticket to...
00:02:29Igor School.
00:02:30I majored in talking with a slur and graduated with the S-master's degree.
00:02:35Then I was off to find a job.
00:02:38Hi, I'm here about the Igor Wanted ad.
00:02:40My name's Igor.
00:02:41Well, of course it is.
00:02:43I've got a hunch on my back.
00:02:44What's my name gonna be, Kevin?
00:02:51They didn't appreciate my creative style.
00:02:54But eventually, I landed a job for Dr. Glickenstein.
00:02:57Pull the switch!
00:03:00Not the smartest scientist.
00:03:02His last invention was an evil lasagna.
00:03:05Didn't kill anyone.
00:03:06And it actually tasted pretty good.
00:03:08Igor!
00:03:12Igors aren't allowed to invent.
00:03:14But I still managed to work on my own inventions in secret.
00:03:16And this new one is gonna be the one that proves that I'm the biggest evil genius of them all.
00:03:21And not just another...
00:03:23Igor!
00:03:29Once they see what I can do, I'll have a whole new life.
00:03:31And I'll never have to answer to another master again.
00:03:34Sorry, master.
00:03:36What did you say?
00:03:37Oh!
00:03:38I mean...
00:03:40Sorry, master.
00:03:42I was in the bathroom.
00:03:43Had a bat stuck in the belfry, if you know what I mean, master.
00:03:47I don't want to hear your toilet manuals, you cretin!
00:03:51I give you five minutes a week to take care of your business.
00:03:54I'm not running a resort here.
00:03:57Now, get over there and pull the switch!
00:04:02Yes, master.
00:04:27Who's the failure now, mother?
00:04:41Mamie, mamie, you were right!
00:04:44I was never meant to be a scientist.
00:04:46I should have been a plumber like you!
00:04:50That was the first time he was right all day.
00:04:52You!
00:04:54Go find me a 16 gigawatt temporal transducer!
00:04:57Excuse me, master.
00:04:59Are you sure you don't mean 21 gigawatts?
00:05:02You're correcting me!
00:05:06Strike!
00:05:09I should do more improv.
00:05:13Oh, my hunch.
00:05:15Oh, there she goes.
00:05:17Much better.
00:05:18Good evening, friends!
00:05:20That's Scamper, one of my most successful inventions.
00:05:30I made him immortal, which is kind of a hassle for him since he doesn't want to live.
00:05:35Will nothing end this vicious cycle?
00:05:38I also made him talk, which is a hassle for me since he never shuts up.
00:05:42No fair!
00:05:43You wasted your immortality formula on the wrong guy, Igor.
00:05:46That's brain, one of my other inventions.
00:05:49Legend has it when the smartest man in the world died, they put his brain in a jar.
00:05:54This is not that brain.
00:05:56I want to live forever!
00:05:57I got plans and dreams!
00:05:59I got a squeaky wheel!
00:06:01Was that me?
00:06:01Really, brain?
00:06:02You want to be trapped in an endless existential nightmare forced to keep living even though
00:06:06life is meaningless and nothing matters?
00:06:10Possibly.
00:06:11What exactly did you say?
00:06:13Too bad he wasted his intelligence formula on me too, brain.
00:06:17Or should I say Brian?
00:06:20Hey, I was in a hurry.
00:06:22Stupid permanent marker.
00:06:24Enough!
00:06:25The evil science fair is in a week and Glickenstein is going to lose.
00:06:28Again!
00:06:29Okay, I get it.
00:06:30You want me to fix this invention.
00:06:32Now, I'll just need a screwdriver, some nails, and my bag of marble.
00:06:36Don't touch his invention, brain.
00:06:38Fine!
00:06:39You don't want the benefit of my brain power?
00:06:41Then farewell, Igor.
00:06:43Like a gentle fawn, I shall leap this meadow.
00:06:56On second thought, maybe I'll stick around.
00:06:58So I can watch Mr. Smarty Hunch fix Glickenstein's invention.
00:07:03I could, but you know what would happen if I did.
00:07:06The same thing he'd do if he found out I invented you two.
00:07:09He'd recycle me.
00:07:11Can you imagine being chopped up and used for body parts and God knows what else?
00:07:15Horrible.
00:07:18Oh, get in!
00:07:19Ah!
00:07:20Dang it!
00:07:21It's still here!
00:07:25If I had my shot, I could be one of the greatest evil scientists malaria has ever seen.
00:07:32They'd all cheer my name, just like they do for the great Dr. Schadenfreude.
00:07:56And now, the master of disaster, the chief of grief, a man who needs no introduction, but
00:08:02a man who will brutally torture me if he doesn't get one, Dr. Schadenfreude!
00:08:09Thank you, thank you.
00:08:10You're too kind.
00:08:12And I'm not.
00:08:13But I want to welcome you all to my annual pre-evil science fair party.
00:08:18My girlfriend, Jacqueline, you know, she may seem like a shallow, conniving wretch.
00:08:25That's all I got.
00:08:27That pretty much sums it up.
00:08:30A toast to the undefeated winner of 17 evil science fairs and the greatest evil genius in
00:08:38the world.
00:08:41Bow for the king!
00:08:46The greatest evil genius in the world.
00:08:49I remember when people used to call me that, back when the clouds destroyed our peaceful
00:08:54land of farmers, and my plan to blackmail the world saved us all.
00:09:00Yes.
00:09:01As you've told us all, over and over and over.
00:09:05Yeah?
00:09:06Well, here's more.
00:09:07Did you know that years ago, Shoddy's family name was Polkomaker?
00:09:11His family were pickle makers!
00:09:15So, what's your evil invention this year, doctor?
00:09:18Kosher or dill?
00:09:23I want to shove a pickle right where the sun don't shine.
00:09:26You mean malaria, master?
00:09:30No matter how many evil science fairs I win, I always have to bow down to that idiot.
00:09:36I will never get the respect he gets.
00:09:39Prospect?
00:09:40Prospect isn't going to keep me in baby seal boots.
00:09:44You just need to keep on winning.
00:09:47But that is spoken like a true worthless leech, who, by the way, still has not helped me steal
00:09:53this year's winning invention!
00:09:55You know, maybe if you were a real scientist, you would need me to help you cheat every year.
00:10:08And maybe I should throw you back in the gutter where I found you!
00:10:14You're one to talk, Dr. Shoddenfraud.
00:10:18You don't have the guts.
00:10:31Is Daddy still mad at me?
00:10:34Hmm, no, but you and your friend Heidi still have a little job to do.
00:10:41Oh, we're trying.
00:10:43Well, try a little bit harder.
00:10:47Because this year, I won't stop at just winning the evil science fair.
00:10:52I'm going to unleash my winning invention on the king's smug little face.
00:10:58And then he'll be the one groveling at my feet!
00:11:06You're not like, hi, there!
00:11:08Look, it's your little girlfriend, Heidi.
00:11:11You take a cocoa break, and I'll guard your plans for your new invention.
00:11:16No, wait, you're spilling my plans.
00:11:18Heidi, you're not careful enough.
00:11:19You're so sloppy sometimes.
00:11:22Oh, Popskin, I went to the evil bookstore and got you an inspirational poster.
00:11:28It's a little kitten to remind you to always take time in your day for a little torture.
00:11:38My transducer!
00:11:39Time to go!
00:11:40I have no time for cocoa or kittens.
00:11:42I have to work on my plans alone and in secret.
00:11:45All the birds, bon voyage!
00:11:48Who doesn't like tortured kittens?
00:11:52I like kittens.
00:11:54I don't like dirty little hunch people.
00:11:57Great, Jordan Freud's going to kill me.
00:12:01And why are there two transducers?
00:12:05Mofter, the 21 gigawatt might be somewhat safer, I think.
00:12:10Think?
00:12:11Eagles don't think!
00:12:12I'm using the 16 gigawatt, you fool!
00:12:16Now, get over there and pull the switch!
00:12:22What are you waiting for?
00:12:25Yes, I've got...
00:12:30Yes!
00:12:37I told you the 16 would work, you eagle!
00:12:43Behold my rocket ship!
00:12:47Born to scream through the world, unleashing pain and misery on everyone!
00:12:53I named her after you, mother!
00:12:58Now, to take the old cow for a test drive!
00:13:03Young bastards!
00:13:04The rocket is going through!
00:13:13Uh, yeah, that.
00:13:15Finally!
00:13:17Now I can throw out that rug in the foyer.
00:13:19That thing is hideous.
00:13:21We were all thinking it.
00:13:22I just said it.
00:13:24Oh, no!
00:13:25Who's that?
00:13:25What am I going to do?
00:13:26What am I going to do?
00:13:27Relax!
00:13:27This is Glickenstein's castle.
00:13:29And he doesn't have to open that door for anyone.
00:13:31Open for the king!
00:13:33Except for the king.
00:13:34Oh, my God!
00:13:35Oh, my God!
00:13:35Oh, my God!
00:13:35Oh, my God!
00:13:35He's here to see Glickenstein.
00:13:36What do I tell him?
00:13:37Tell him the truth.
00:13:38And if he kills us, I'll come back and give you a beautiful funeral.
00:13:41Right, right.
00:13:42The truth.
00:13:42That's a good option.
00:13:43Right.
00:13:45Glicky!
00:13:46Glicky, my boy.
00:13:48Where's Glicky?
00:13:49Your Highness.
00:13:51It's gone.
00:13:51Curse him!
00:13:52I need to see his invention.
00:13:54Schadenfreude is getting too popular.
00:13:56The people might make him king.
00:13:57Someone has to meet him this year with an invention more evil than his.
00:14:01Someone who can snatch Schadenfreude's number one position and rub his face in number two!
00:14:07Ew.
00:14:07Your Highness.
00:14:09Dr. Glickenstein is creating life.
00:14:12Did you say life?
00:14:15Yes.
00:14:15Thinking, breathing life that can destroy freely all on its own.
00:14:20No evil scientist has ever been able to create life!
00:14:24Oh, sure.
00:14:25They've mutated life.
00:14:26They've ended life.
00:14:27They've lasted life into a million going pieces.
00:14:30But created life?
00:14:31A weapon like that would be the greatest evil invention of all time.
00:14:37And its inventor, the greatest evil scientist of all time?
00:14:40Of course!
00:14:40This is what I've been waiting for.
00:14:42And it's your job to make sure nothing happens to Glickenstein, or I'll throw you down the recycling chute and
00:14:47use your hunch as a speed bump!
00:14:51Oh, this is big.
00:14:53Schadenfreude's winning streak is over.
00:14:54Come on, boys!
00:14:55Let's go kick some old people.
00:14:58Ow!
00:14:59Ow!
00:14:59What is wrong with you?
00:15:01That's for having a death wish.
00:15:02That's my thing.
00:15:03I am not gonna die, scamper.
00:15:07For the first time ever!
00:15:09I'm gonna live!
00:15:12Ow!
00:15:20I sometimes come down here to think.
00:15:23Wow, how interesting.
00:15:25What's next?
00:15:26You're gonna pull out a guitar and play us a song you wrote in college about being misunderstood?
00:15:43I know, right?
00:15:44And she's not even done yet.
00:15:52Baby, baby, it looks like it's gonna heal Baby, baby, it looks like it's gonna heal You better come inside,
00:16:02let me teach you how to jive
00:16:06Come on, Bigger.
00:16:07Come on, Bigger, make it bigger.
00:16:11Bigger!
00:16:11Bigger!
00:16:15Okay, jump to the left.
00:16:17Very good, now back to the right.
00:16:19No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:16:21To the left.
00:16:22Now, back to the right.
00:16:24To the right.
00:16:25To the right.
00:16:26Is that even her hand?
00:16:37And now, to make her skin indestructible.
00:16:41When you really gotta jump and dive in, then you really gotta jump and dive in, then you will.
00:16:53Did they see that?
00:16:56Shoot him again.
00:17:02And now the crucial last piece, the source of all the monster's power.
00:17:09The evil bone.
00:17:14I have to hurry. It loses its power in the light.
00:17:27That's it.
00:17:29Only one thing left to do.
00:17:31He said do.
00:17:34Pull the switch!
00:17:37Switch!
00:17:39Switch!
00:17:41Switch!
00:17:43Do not yell at me.
00:17:46Oh, I'm sorry. I was just...
00:17:49Pull the switch.
00:17:53Please pull the switch.
00:17:55That's better.
00:17:55Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait!
00:17:56Why does he get to pull the switch?
00:17:59Because I'm not an idiot, Brian.
00:18:01My name is not Brian!
00:18:02Then you must have his jar.
00:18:04Stop! You can both pull the switch.
00:18:06On the count of three.
00:18:08One!
00:18:10Hey! No fair! You said we both...
00:18:12What the fuck?
00:18:25Ah!
00:18:28Ride!
00:18:30Ride!
00:18:32Ride!
00:18:34Ride!
00:18:35Ride!
00:18:36Ride!
00:18:37Ride!
00:18:38Ride!
00:18:40Ride!
00:18:41Ride!
00:18:42I...
00:18:43I don't believe it.
00:18:46I'm a failure.
00:18:48I'm a...
00:18:49I'm an Igor.
00:18:51Get rid of that thing.
00:18:53I never want to see it again.
00:18:55Funny you should say that.
00:19:01Uh, Igor?
00:19:03Yeah, where did the monster go?
00:19:04I don't know, Brian.
00:19:05May I suggest...
00:19:07Looking behind you!
00:19:09It was just a suggestion.
00:19:18Maybe just, uh...
00:19:21Spontaneously combusted?
00:19:22Oh, yeah.
00:19:23Uh, sure.
00:19:24I've read about that.
00:19:25And, um...
00:19:26WHO AM I KIDDING?!
00:19:27I CAN'T READ!
00:19:29Oh!
00:19:39The...
00:19:43Ah!
00:19:47AHHHHHH!
00:19:54And just like that, she was out of their lives.
00:19:58I... I did it.
00:20:00I... I created life.
00:20:04Has that hole always been there?
00:20:08Come on!
00:20:13Let me get this straight.
00:20:15We are chasing after the bloodthirsty monster.
00:20:20Home for blind orphans.
00:20:24Oh, God, she's killing blind orphans.
00:20:27That's so... evil.
00:20:29I mean, which is great, but...
00:20:32Blind orphans?
00:20:40I want to go next.
00:20:44I wonder what diabolical deed she has planned next.
00:20:47Piggy-back rides?
00:20:48Blind orphans!
00:20:49I want to go next!
00:20:50I want to go next!
00:20:51Me, me, pity!
00:20:52Me, me!
00:20:52Blind orphans get everything!
00:20:54Me, too, me, me!
00:20:55Ah!
00:20:56Your very large friend is a sweetheart.
00:20:59No, she's not.
00:21:02I am your master, and I command you to stop this gesture of goodwill right now and put them down.
00:21:09Down!
00:21:12Okay, now you're going to march right back to the castle, got it?
00:21:16Ow!
00:21:17Ow, he's dead!
00:21:22Those are paper flowers the orphans sell.
00:21:25Sounds like someone likes them.
00:21:28You touch it, you buy it.
00:21:36Master!
00:21:37I looked inside Dr. Glickenstein's castle and didn't see anyone.
00:21:42But... but that's not all.
00:21:43Yes, it is, because your voice is annoying.
00:21:46Now, do break into Glickenstein's castle and steal the plans like Heidi failed to do.
00:21:57What did this?
00:21:59I'm guessing something big.
00:22:02Something like this.
00:22:05Life?
00:22:06Glickenstein invented life?
00:22:08I don't think he had a hand in it.
00:22:12Well, if he's toast, who invented that?
00:22:17I don't believe it.
00:22:20Wow.
00:22:21So not only is every other evil scientist smarter than you, and Igor is too?
00:22:27Oh, ouch.
00:22:29Smart is not mouthing off to the man who has just found his way to take the throne.
00:22:43Oh, baby, won't you please come home?
00:22:51We must be making a club of flowers to smash us with.
00:22:56This must be very embarrassing for you.
00:22:59I never thought that we could part
00:23:02For every hour in the day
00:23:05You can hear me say
00:23:08Baby, won't you please come home? I need you.
00:23:11Okay, clearly her evil bone wasn't activated when she came to life.
00:23:15That's it.
00:23:15Ooh, I have an idea.
00:23:16Is it about this situation?
00:23:19No.
00:23:20Is it even an idea?
00:23:23Is french fries an idea?
00:23:27So, how do you activate it?
00:23:30We need to kickstart it.
00:23:32We need to get her to commit one act of evil.
00:23:35She wouldn't hurt a fly.
00:23:39Okay, monster.
00:23:41I command you to kill that fly.
00:23:44Kill it.
00:23:46Kill it.
00:23:47Kill it, girl.
00:23:48Come on.
00:23:49You're a killer.
00:23:50Man it.
00:23:51Wound it.
00:23:51Insult it.
00:23:53Something.
00:23:54Kill it.
00:23:55Kill it.
00:23:55Kill, kill, kill.
00:23:59You were saying?
00:24:07No, no, no, no.
00:24:09You're evil.
00:24:10Evil.
00:24:12Evil.
00:24:14E...
00:24:15Eva.
00:24:16What?
00:24:17No, you're not Eva.
00:24:19Eva.
00:24:20Eva.
00:24:23What now, genius?
00:24:24Well, thank you for asking.
00:24:27What we're going to do for...
00:24:28Don't soak your brain, Brian.
00:24:30That's actually not a bad idea.
00:24:33Monster want to brainwash?
00:24:50Matt!
00:24:51Matt!
00:24:51Hi.
00:24:51I'd like to, uh...
00:24:52Hey!
00:24:53Who are you talking to?
00:24:54I'm the head guy here.
00:24:56Oh, excuse me.
00:24:57Sorry.
00:24:57What the heck is that?
00:25:00It's my aunt Eva.
00:25:01She's getting a little sweet in her old age,
00:25:03so I'd like to, I don't know, evil her up a bit.
00:25:07Sunday Night Massacre and an arsonist.
00:25:10See, they all look so good.
00:25:12How about the axe murderer brainwash?
00:25:14Oh.
00:25:15She must be very special to you.
00:25:18Oh.
00:25:21Oh.
00:25:22Oh.
00:25:23Oh.
00:25:26Oh.
00:25:26Oh.
00:25:26Oh.
00:25:26Oh.
00:25:27Oh.
00:25:37Hey!
00:25:38Don't touch that.
00:25:40It's a very complicated system.
00:25:41One wrong button,
00:25:42and you'll just be watching regular cable.
00:25:44You want to waste your nephew's money like that?
00:25:46Huh?
00:25:47Ah!
00:25:47Ah!
00:25:48Ah!
00:25:49Ah!
00:25:50Ah!
00:25:51Ah!
00:25:51Ah!
00:25:51Ah!
00:25:52Ah!
00:25:52Ah!
00:25:53Ah!
00:25:54Ah!
00:25:55Ah!
00:25:56My baby's gone on a trip to the moon,
00:25:58and she won't be done.
00:26:02Gosh, I feel like I'm sending my kid off to school for the first time.
00:26:07You know, to learn how to murder.
00:26:10Hi, how are you, Great Wings?
00:26:13Listen, could you squeeze me in for a brainwash, too?
00:26:15A nice thorough scrubbing?
00:26:17What are you, an imbecile?
00:26:19Oh!
00:26:19Oh, parley italian.
00:26:21Oh, parley italian.
00:26:21Taco grande to meet you.
00:26:22Oh, parley italian.
00:26:24Yeah.
00:26:24Take Brian to room number four.
00:26:30Wish you weren't there.
00:26:32This card teleports your enemy to you so you can destroy him in person.
00:26:36Call me old-fashioned, but what happened to cards that just blew your head off?
00:26:39Just think, Scamper, in a few short moments, I'm going to have the most evil invention of all time.
00:26:46It's my whole life savings, but I think I'm going to treat myself...
00:26:51Oh, my hutch.
00:26:54Happy Mother's Day.
00:27:00See? That's what I'm talking about. Simple, elegant, classic.
00:27:05You've seen a lot of brains, I'm sure. Mine's bigger than average, right?
00:27:11No? Hello? Can you even talk?
00:27:16Ugh, Canadian.
00:27:18Must watch TV.
00:27:21Whoops! Motherfingers!
00:27:26No! Great! Come on!
00:27:29It's cold, cold, cold, cold, cold, cold.
00:27:32Hey, monster, can I power your remote? Thank you.
00:27:40Oh, come on!
00:27:48Stupid remote!
00:27:50To plumb the depths of Blanche DuBois in Streetcar is the ultimate challenge for any modern actress.
00:28:02Well, our evil bun should be out of the oven soon.
00:28:14You're a magician.
00:28:15Estefan!
00:28:15You're a magician.
00:28:17What's that smell?
00:28:18My new air freshener.
00:28:20My new air freshener. Dead dog. Jealous?
00:28:25I don't hear anything.
00:28:31I think it worked.
00:28:34Maybe they did too much.
00:28:36Oh, was it?
00:28:37Was I too much?
00:28:39I was pushing, wasn't I?
00:28:41It was only a vocal exercise, but that is a beginner's mistake. I have to own that. That's just where
00:28:45I am.
00:28:47If only I knew whether I had the it factor.
00:28:50But how can you know? I mean, you can't learn that. You just have to be born with it.
00:28:54Oh, listen to me going on and on about me, me, me.
00:28:58Let's talk about you, Igor. Do you think I have it?
00:29:01Let's thank our guest, who has taught us in one hour a lifetime worth of lessons in acting.
00:29:10Acting?
00:29:13Who changed the channel? Wait, where's the remote?
00:29:16Move it and eat this room.
00:29:18No, no, no, wait. We need to un-brainwasher.
00:29:20No can do, pal. Every wash comes with a sealant guaranteed to last a lifetime.
00:29:26In other words, buzz off.
00:29:34Okay, things to do. Sign up for yoga classes, get new headshots,
00:29:38adopt children from all over the world. Oh, time for my elocution exercises.
00:29:43I need a box of biscuits. I need a box of biscuits.
00:29:47It's just failure after failure.
00:29:49After failure, after failure. Oh, sorry. I thought we were counting off all your failures.
00:29:55...a box of mixed biscuits and biscuits.
00:29:59...a box of mixed biscuits.
00:30:00Uh-oh. Stop the carriage!
00:30:03Ow! What? What's the matter?
00:30:06I don't mean to be a prima donna, but I think I need a bigger trailer.
00:30:09After failure, after failure, after failure.
00:30:12After failure, after failure.
00:30:18That monster is about to be mine.
00:30:21Oh, really? How?
00:30:23Well, with a little something, I just stole the occasion, okay?
00:30:30Practice poses for the red carpet.
00:30:33Become an environmentalist, but still fly private when you do this.
00:30:40A shrink ray? Oh, that's a genius plan for stealing a monster.
00:30:45Hey, I don't come down the way you work. Oh, that's right. You don't work.
00:30:48So shut your cake home!
00:30:50Darling. Now, to shrink Igor and steal his monster.
00:31:00Oh, God. Did I hit it? Did I hit it? I hope I didn't hit it.
00:31:03You, sir, put the evil in evil scientist.
00:31:06Here we go.
00:31:09What the?
00:31:15Oh, God. Pull over. I'm getting jar sick.
00:31:18Someone's trying to shoot us.
00:31:20Paparazzi? Why can't those vultures leave me alone?
00:31:28This has totally ruined my spa day.
00:31:38To the right! To the right!
00:31:41This is the worst car service I've ever used.
00:31:54Now I get to watch you die.
00:31:56Hold on!
00:32:06Break, break!
00:32:08Uh-oh.
00:32:08Oh, my God, yeah!
00:32:13Oh, okay.
00:32:16Fire the rocket booster!
00:32:18I can't see who it is.
00:32:20Here I go.
00:32:21Oh, my beautiful face!
00:32:23No more doctor. Don't kill anybody.
00:32:29We're not going to make it!
00:32:30We're not going to make it!
00:32:36If only you'd made yourself indestructible.
00:32:39Indestructible?
00:32:40Indestructible!
00:32:41Who wants to be a big movie star?
00:32:42Me! Me!
00:32:43I do!
00:33:00This would be the right time to curb your suicidal tendencies.
00:33:03Hey, I can see my room from here.
00:33:11Go away.
00:33:12Look, I'm very important.
00:33:14Ew!
00:33:14What's that smell?
00:33:16Oh, yes, wait at the big whopping stench of failure.
00:33:21Ironically, at an inch tall, you still have the biggest mouth in malaria.
00:33:25Oh, yeah.
00:33:27Ah!
00:33:42You're very welcome.
00:33:44You saved my life.
00:33:45As an actor, I feel things very deeply.
00:33:48And I treasure all of life.
00:33:55F-I-Y, it's actually me you should thank.
00:33:58I was the one who changed the channel on her brainwash.
00:34:01What?
00:34:01Yep.
00:34:02And if she had been evil, she would have let us all die.
00:34:05So technically, I'm the one who saved us.
00:34:08But no need to thank me.
00:34:10Actually, a thank you would be nice.
00:34:12It could be in the form of a card or a poem.
00:34:15Your choice.
00:34:16I also like ponies.
00:34:19An axe?
00:34:21I don't want an axe.
00:34:23That's crazy.
00:34:23Why would you offer me an axe?
00:34:24You made my monster an actress!
00:34:28This is why people are afraid of hunchbacks.
00:34:30This!
00:34:31Right here!
00:34:32Oh, what play are they rehearsing?
00:34:34Rain Dead.
00:34:35Don't let him kill me!
00:34:36It's gonna be a smash.
00:34:37Don't let him kill me!
00:34:41The only thing killed here is my dream.
00:34:45Bravo!
00:34:46Bravo!
00:34:47Huh?
00:34:47Oh, you guys are so lucky to have work.
00:34:50If only I had a role I could really sink my teeth into.
00:34:54Eva, you're in luck.
00:34:56In four days, there's an audition for the lead
00:34:58in the biggest play to hit malaria
00:34:59since, um, uh...
00:35:01The desperate hunchback who grasped that straw?
00:35:04Seriously, Eva, this could be your big break.
00:35:06Oh my gosh, I don't believe it!
00:35:08What play is it?
00:35:09Play?
00:35:10What play is it?
00:35:11Is it Annie?
00:35:13Annie?
00:35:14Oh, so many terrific girls got their start playing Annie.
00:35:18Yes, that's it.
00:35:19It's Annie.
00:35:20So it's actually a musical?
00:35:29I think I just wet myself.
00:35:31Someone can sing.
00:35:33Gosh, me trying out for Annie?
00:35:36The plucky orphan whose song of hope lifts the heart of a weary nation?
00:35:41Yeah, except in this version, Annie goes nuts and battles a bunch of evil inventions in deadly,
00:35:46hand-to-hand combat.
00:35:47Wow.
00:35:48How avant-garde.
00:35:50Trust me, you were born to be in this production.
00:35:54The sun will come out tomorrow that you're...
00:36:01No, you missed it again!
00:36:03Excuse me, Igor, but I think you're supposed to say cut.
00:36:07That's for film.
00:36:08Film?
00:36:09Can you imagine a face like that on a 40-foot screen?
00:36:13All right, all right, all right, all right.
00:36:15Now, now, listen.
00:36:16Excuse me, Igor.
00:36:17I'm a little distracted.
00:36:18What?
00:36:19I think the makeup girl is out to get me.
00:36:24No, that's Brain.
00:36:25And he's not the makeup girl.
00:36:27He's the idiot.
00:36:27Now, try to remember on the word tomorrow,
00:36:30you're supposed to crush the evil invention to your left.
00:36:34You mean stage left?
00:36:35Yeah, whatever.
00:36:37You're supposed to smash into smithereens.
00:36:39I know, it's just, it looks kind of real,
00:36:42and it's hard because I would never hurt anything real.
00:36:44The props at the audition are going to look even more real,
00:36:46Eva.
00:36:47Some may even scream when you smash them.
00:36:49Oh, really?
00:36:50Yes, and they're also going to fight back.
00:36:53But it's all for reality's sake.
00:36:55But if you don't want to be a real actress...
00:36:56Oh, no, no, no, no, no, I do, I do.
00:36:58This is a block for me, but I will get through it.
00:37:01Once more, from the top, with feeling.
00:37:04I just have a teeny, teeny, tiny suggestion.
00:37:07Now, I know I'm not the director,
00:37:09but at the end of the number,
00:37:10I would love to try something like this.
00:37:12You're only a day away...
00:37:39Works for me.
00:37:47Dr. Igor, Dr. Igor von Igorstein.
00:37:51No, no, no.
00:37:52The evil Reverend Igor von Igorstein III.
00:37:55I can't believe it.
00:37:57I might actually be able to pull this off.
00:38:02Good work today, Eva.
00:38:03You took some really, um, big steps.
00:38:08Thank you, Igor.
00:38:11I'm whispering to protect my voice.
00:38:13I really couldn't have done it without you.
00:38:16Isn't it beautiful?
00:38:19King Malbert has turned this country into a paradise.
00:38:22His tower shines out for all the world to see as a beacon of evil.
00:38:26And that's a good thing?
00:38:28We were nothing country until King Malbert taught us
00:38:30that the way to succeed is by doing evil.
00:38:33This is a tough town.
00:38:35Well, in this world, nice guys finish last.
00:38:39So I have to step on people to get ahead?
00:38:42Uh, yeah.
00:38:43Well, I'd rather be a good nobody than an evil somebody.
00:38:47And so would you.
00:38:49Because you're good, Igor.
00:38:51Eva, don't say that.
00:38:52It's true.
00:38:52You are good.
00:38:54Seriously, stop saying that.
00:38:55But you are.
00:38:56You've helped me with my audition.
00:38:57You've made me this delicious tea.
00:39:00You're a very good friend.
00:39:01Evil scientists don't have friends.
00:39:03Well, what are brain and scamper?
00:39:05Headaches.
00:39:05Oh, is that all I am?
00:39:09No.
00:39:10Okay, then you can be my number two friend.
00:39:13Number two friend?
00:39:15Well, who's your number one friend?
00:39:17See, you're jealous.
00:39:19You do want to be my friend.
00:39:22I guess I'm just a pushover.
00:39:26Hi, welcome to Cristal Clear.
00:39:29I'm Carl Cristal.
00:39:31Tonight, we have a very special guest.
00:39:33Someone we all love and respect.
00:39:35It's Hulker's the gassy monkey.
00:39:37But first, King Malpert.
00:39:38You're not wearing any, uh, pants.
00:39:41Hmm?
00:39:42Oh, no, I'm not.
00:39:43I figure, why does an invisible man need to wear pants?
00:39:46It's very liberating, Your Highness.
00:39:49Sire, the clouds.
00:39:51Were they a blessing or a curse?
00:39:54Well, of course.
00:39:55I would never wish the clouds on my people.
00:39:58But we rallied together for the common good
00:40:01by embracing evil.
00:40:03Oh, and look at us now.
00:40:05Respected, successful.
00:40:10What are you doing?
00:40:11Scratching my invisible...
00:40:13But getting back to my next question, sire.
00:40:15The evil science fair is two days away.
00:40:18Any predictions?
00:40:18Can anyone beat Dr. Schadenfreude?
00:40:21Well, I hate to predict.
00:40:24I mean, all the evil scientists are twisted fiends in their own right.
00:40:28That said, there may be a genius this year with an evil invention so revolutionary that
00:40:33Schadenfreude might finally get knocked off his perch.
00:40:36The only one getting knocked off his perch is you.
00:40:40Damn it, I need that monster.
00:40:42I will not be beaten by a hunchback, pot-bellied bulgy-eyed runt.
00:40:46I think he's kind of cute.
00:40:49Huh?
00:40:49Talent is attractive.
00:40:51I can just picture Igor and his monster now plotting their deadly combat maneuvers.
00:41:00I got a woman as big as a house, yes, sir.
00:41:04She's as big as a two-family house with a porch and a fence.
00:41:09You won't believe what you see when you look at her.
00:41:13She's enormous, colossal, tremendous, gigantic, immense.
00:41:17Why try to deny it?
00:41:19She's just what I like.
00:41:20If she goes on a diet, I'm going to strike her.
00:41:26The bigger the figure, the better I like her, the better I like her, the better I feed her, the
00:41:30better I feed her.
00:41:31The bigger the figure, the better the figure, the more I can love her.
00:41:54She's exactly like a watermelon, big and round and sweet.
00:42:00I ain't a party dress, she may be quite a mess, but I love her a lot, so what if
00:42:06she's not so neat?
00:42:08The bigger the figure, the better I like her, the better I like her, the better I feed her, the
00:42:16better I feed her.
00:42:17The bigger the figure, the bigger the figure, the bigger the figure, the more I can love her.
00:42:23If she ever eats me out of money, and we need rent, that'll be a cinch, cause when we're in
00:42:33a pinch, I can put her to work under a circus tent.
00:42:37The bigger the figure, the better I like her, the better I like her, the better I feed her, the
00:42:42better I feed her, the bigger the figure, the bigger the figure, the more I can love her.
00:42:48Guys, can you come in here?
00:42:50I need to talk to you.
00:42:53If she's having a woman problem, it's all yours.
00:43:12Ta-da!
00:43:14What are these?
00:43:16Opening night presents.
00:43:18I know it's technically just an audition tomorrow, but I figured, what the hay?
00:43:22They're not much, since I had to use stuff I found around here, but...
00:43:25Well, you first, brain.
00:43:27An envelope!
00:43:29You spoil me, rotten lady!
00:43:31I think we better open it.
00:43:34It's a new label for your jar.
00:43:37And brain is spelled right!
00:43:40It is, right?
00:43:41You shouldn't really worry about labels, though, because you may be a brain, but you have heart.
00:43:47And in some ways, that's more important.
00:43:50Part?
00:43:51I'd kill for a pair of feet.
00:43:54Open yours, scamper!
00:43:55It's a prehistoric evergreen.
00:43:58They live forever.
00:43:59I just want to make sure that if anything ever happens to the three of us, you always have company.
00:44:05Great.
00:44:06I must be allergic to it.
00:44:07If any luck, it'll kill me with its dinosaur-era toxins.
00:44:12Okay, we can move on to Igor now.
00:44:15No one's ever given me a gift before.
00:44:18It's something no director can be without.
00:44:22A beret!
00:44:26Voila!
00:44:27That's French for, please stop pelting me on my ridiculous hat with rocks.
00:44:31Hey, Igor!
00:44:32Where's our gift for Eva?
00:44:34Our gift?
00:44:35Oh, you guys didn't!
00:44:37We did.
00:44:39Where'd you put it, Igor?
00:44:40It's in the other room.
00:44:57Eva?
00:44:58Well, we got you this.
00:45:00It's a necklace.
00:45:10it's the most beautiful thing i've ever seen
00:45:15igor can you i would do it myself but i'm all thumbs yeah i'm sorry about that i got the
00:45:20thumbs
00:45:20on sale i'm never gonna take this off that way all of you will be close to my heart forever
00:45:30i need to go write this down in my sense memory journal oh where did i put my glitter pen
00:45:38see this is the kind of moment to be tough for someone who wasn't meant to be an evil scientist
00:45:44somebody who'd go all soft and want to tell her the truth but but lucky for us i'm evil right
00:45:51yeah lucky us i don't feel lucky
00:46:06so i'll stay on track because we're almost there and i just don't let her get into my head
00:46:17it's so hard being a little hunchback heidi um dr glickstein is under the rug i i mean under
00:46:24the weather i didn't come to see him i came to see you
00:46:37by the way and igor came by today and asked me to hand deliver this to you
00:46:44and these are my hands
00:46:47what what is it yeah i haven't any idea wish you weren't there
00:46:58oh excellent wonderful you got my card
00:47:06is everything okay i heard a strange noise oh i wasn't at the door listening to you and
00:47:13igor i just um hi we haven't met i'm eva
00:47:21oh you're upset aren't you who is a strange woman living with igor right
00:47:26well believe me igor and i are just friends as his girlfriend you have nothing to worry about
00:47:31i'm not his girlfriend you're not but the way he looks at you
00:47:37he never looks at me that way maybe some man like girls who don't look like they've been put
00:47:43together at the junkyard
00:47:47right you have a very ugly face
00:47:53well i have to go get some rest for my audition tomorrow it was nice meeting
00:47:56oh
00:47:59whoops
00:48:03audition
00:48:09so how is your cocktail
00:48:11well Kanera
00:48:12is it nice you like me
00:48:14Is it coconutty
00:48:16coconutty en eil boa
00:48:17WEIGHT
00:48:18YOU SHOULD BE SIPPING IN STYLE
00:48:21EGOR
00:48:21CRAZY STROH
00:48:23RIGHT NOWだ
00:48:23da da da da da da da da da slow
00:48:26jump in isnt
00:48:27that better doesnt that taste better excuse me
00:48:30sir but why I mean
00:48:32why am
00:48:33I here
00:48:33You can drop that slur around me. I don't even make my egos talk that way. Isn't that right, Igor?
00:48:39Oh, oh, that's right, master.
00:48:43How many times do I have to tell you? Call me Frederick. Okay, that's my name.
00:48:47Okay, Frederick.
00:48:49I have to get back. Dr. Glickenstein will be missing me.
00:48:53Somehow, I think he's missing more than his right-hand man.
00:48:58Iggy, baby, I know all about Glickenstein and his deadness.
00:49:04I also know about your monster.
00:49:07I'm gonna guess your plan.
00:49:09You win the evil science fair, and then everyone looks past the hunched thing,
00:49:13and they accept you for the real you.
00:49:15You grab the girl of your dreams, and you cha-cha-cha your way to a happy ending.
00:49:19Am I close on this?
00:49:20No, not entirely.
00:49:23I don't know how to cha-cha.
00:49:25We're a lot alike, Igor.
00:49:28I want to be more as well, but society, it won't let me. It stops me.
00:49:32So this is my plan.
00:49:34I enter evil science fair with your monster, and then I win.
00:49:37I turn the monster on the king.
00:49:40Ding-dong, the king is dead.
00:49:41Long live the new king, me!
00:49:45And then you come in as malaria's new evil scientist, doctor, Igor.
00:49:51So what do you say to that? Is that nice? Is that really nice?
00:49:54You want to overthrow the king?
00:49:56I thought you wanted to be an evil scientist.
00:49:59I do, but...
00:50:00Stop thinking like an Igor.
00:50:01Evil scientists do not let anyone stand in their way.
00:50:05Yes, I know. They step on people to get ahead.
00:50:08Exactly!
00:50:10She'll never do it.
00:50:11She?
00:50:12The monster. She isn't evil.
00:50:13Something went wrong, and her evil bone was never activated.
00:50:16So how do we get this evil bone up and running, huh?
00:50:19We kick it, we slap it, we take it to the movies, call it Irene?
00:50:24She needs to commit an evil act, but since she's not evil, she won't.
00:50:29Well, your troubles are over there, because I can get a woman to do absolutely anything.
00:50:34I-I don't know.
00:50:36Don't tell me that you have feelings for this thing.
00:50:39No.
00:50:40Good.
00:50:41Because that would be pathetic.
00:50:44I can give you everything you have ever wanted.
00:50:50I think I need to go.
00:50:51Look, the evil science fair is in a few hours.
00:50:54You are either with me or against me.
00:50:56Yes or no?
00:51:02I take that as a no.
00:51:04What are you going to do now, smart guy?
00:51:09Yes.
00:51:12Huh?
00:51:14Ha-ha-ha-o!
00:51:23Oh!
00:51:29Uh!
00:51:31Fredrick!
00:51:34Fredrick!
00:51:34Why are you swimming?
00:51:35We just ate ten minutes ago!
00:51:37Get off me, you buffoon!
00:51:39Oh, my God.
00:52:09Okay, we finished your costume. I just hope it's cinched enough at the waist.
00:52:14Obviously, if I had more time, I would have made it flare out a little bit more over the knees.
00:52:17Stop touching it, Brain. I'm creating a look here.
00:52:21You guys are my friends, so you'll tell me the truth, right?
00:52:25Uh, sure.
00:52:27Do you think I'm pretty?
00:52:33Brain!
00:52:34Get me a tub of eyeliner, a pound of lipstick,
00:52:36and if all else fails, the severed head of a supermodel.
00:52:40Okay, the jacuzzi has got a bathroom. I know that now.
00:52:45Please, please, take your own sweet time. I'm loving it here.
00:52:48Oh, really?
00:52:50Well, then maybe you should stay down there with your Igor, Pupchin.
00:52:54You know something?
00:52:55He's a good listener. He's got soft hands,
00:52:58and unlike you, he sometimes shaves his legs.
00:53:10Wait. No kissing Heidi.
00:53:16Lord, you like me better as Heidi.
00:53:19Hmm. Jacqueline Heidi. Jacqueline Heidi.
00:53:23It would be really swell if you didn't go psycho girlfriend on me right now.
00:53:27I'm not psycho!
00:53:29Obviously not.
00:53:31How would you feel if every day you had to be 13 different people?
00:53:36I'm Jacqueline, your girlfriend.
00:53:41Then I'm Dr. Knockmeyer's girlfriend.
00:53:45Then I'm Dr. Groner's girlfriend.
00:53:47All for you, to help you steal inventions year after year.
00:53:53And I still say those stolen pills were the best invention yet.
00:53:57Well, this time they really paid off.
00:54:00Guess what mommy found out about our favorite little monster.
00:54:03Or should I say, actress.
00:54:05Oh.
00:54:08Eva!
00:54:14Eva!
00:54:15Eva!
00:54:32I'm ready for my close-up, Mr. Director.
00:54:42Oh, no. This isn't happening.
00:54:45That graceful, that graceful keeps smiling.
00:54:53Too close?
00:54:55No, Eva, you look...
00:54:57You look beautiful.
00:54:59Oh, this is such a cliche.
00:55:01A leading lady falling for her director.
00:55:04Well, you're not used to high heels.
00:55:08Oh, you mean...
00:55:11Our work here is done.
00:55:12Our work?
00:55:14You spent the entire time playing with a piece of ribbon.
00:55:22Eva, about the audition.
00:55:24I think I've given you the wrong direction.
00:55:26But...
00:55:26I feel so prepared.
00:55:29No.
00:55:29I've been trying to make you play a role that you're not right for.
00:55:33What?
00:55:33I have to tell you the truth.
00:55:35You got a little leg.
00:55:37Ouchie!
00:55:38Oh, Heidi.
00:55:39I'll just be a minute.
00:55:44Oh, Igor.
00:55:45Ow.
00:55:46My ankle.
00:55:48It twisted like the pretzel, Igor.
00:55:53Enchanting.
00:55:55And who are you?
00:55:57Someone who does not want your unique gifts to go to waste.
00:56:03Are you a talent agent?
00:56:05I was so deep down worried that when you opened the card, I thought I lost you forever.
00:56:12Heidi, I need to tell you something.
00:56:14I don't know what it is, but I feel like for the first time in my life, I'm seeing the
00:56:21real Igor.
00:56:23And I think I'm in love with him.
00:56:30Wow.
00:56:32When it rains, it pours.
00:56:34No.
00:56:35No.
00:56:35Igor is a liar.
00:56:37He does this.
00:56:38Igor would never lie to me.
00:56:40Igor cares about me.
00:56:41Cares?
00:56:42He doesn't care?
00:56:43Because he built you to be a weapon.
00:56:46No.
00:56:47No.
00:56:47No.
00:56:48You're wrong.
00:56:49He'll never look at you and see a woman.
00:56:51All he will ever see is a monster.
00:56:54I don't believe you.
00:56:56Open your eyes.
00:56:58Igor has someone else in mind for your role.
00:57:07There's nothing more for you here.
00:57:09Come with me.
00:57:10I will make you a star.
00:57:36What's wrong?
00:57:38I can't believe I'm saying this, but I've made someone else.
00:57:41I mean, I've met someone else, who I made.
00:57:45It's complicated.
00:57:46Wait a minute.
00:57:47You're rejecting me?
00:57:49I'm sorry.
00:57:50For that big, bumpy thing?
00:57:53How do you know about...
00:57:55I mean, this isn't even the sexiest me, but come on.
00:57:59Look at you.
00:58:01You're hideous.
00:58:02You really are.
00:58:04And I kissed you.
00:58:06Oh, yuck.
00:58:08Uh, um...
00:58:11You're a monster.
00:58:13And as we know, monsters only exist to be used.
00:58:18Oh, schadenfreude.
00:58:22Eva!
00:58:30Seize him!
00:58:32Where's Lickenstein?
00:58:34And before you answer, you should know that someone sent me this!
00:58:40Your Highness, he's dead.
00:58:44And he didn't invent life, did he?
00:58:46No.
00:58:48I did.
00:58:51An Igor inventing.
00:58:53Silence!
00:58:55Hunchy invented life, eh?
00:58:57Well, where is it?
00:58:59It's a she, and I think someone's taken her.
00:59:01Well, if she comes back,
00:59:04we'll just tell her where to find you.
00:59:07In the Igor recycling plant!
00:59:10No! Please!
00:59:11No!
00:59:12No!
00:59:15Eva, where are you?
00:59:19Eva!
00:59:31Eva!
00:59:55Lock your doors and hide your loved ones!
00:59:58It's the annual Evil Science Fair!
01:00:02I'm Carl Kristall, and I'm coming to you live!
01:00:04Invisible.
01:00:05And totally, or not your all.
01:00:09Fans are taking their seats, including King Malbert himself.
01:00:13Don't touch me!
01:00:15Meanwhile, these scientists are in their locker rooms prepping their evil inventions.
01:00:36Here we are, a dressing room fit for a leading lady.
01:00:41Wow, listen to Pat.
01:00:43How many girls are auditioning for this project?
01:00:59I'm going to go save him.
01:01:00Wait.
01:01:01Look, maybe I'm not a genius, okay?
01:01:03But I know one thing.
01:01:05I have to try.
01:01:07No, I was going to say, wait.
01:01:08I'm coming with you.
01:01:12On three.
01:01:14One.
01:01:15Hey, no fair!
01:01:17Woo!
01:01:25What are you doing here?
01:01:27We're here to rescue you!
01:01:31I don't want to be rescued.
01:01:33I'm an Igor, and this is what happens to us.
01:01:39Figures.
01:01:40Just when I decided I want to live.
01:01:47Don't peek.
01:01:48Don't worry.
01:01:51I hope I can still do a decent audition without Igor's help.
01:01:54Trust me.
01:01:56I'm the one that's going to bring out the re-you.
01:02:01This isn't you, Igor.
01:02:03Where's all that stupid optimism and annoying can-do attitude?
01:02:06I tried to be someone different, but the world wouldn't let me.
01:02:09Don't you want to go after Eva and save her from schadenfreude?
01:02:14Are you actually trying to hypnotize me, brain?
01:02:16Yes, but if that's not working, then how about that?
01:02:22Ow!
01:02:23Eva needs you, and you're the only hunchback that can stand tall and fight for her.
01:02:30Brain, that may be the smartest thing you've ever said.
01:02:35Reach, brain, reach!
01:02:37You should have killed me with a longer arm!
01:02:43Huh?
01:02:44Huh?
01:02:44What?
01:02:45Like, this is the first time I've gnawed my own feet off?
01:02:53Who says rabbit's feet are lucky?
01:02:57Wheels don't fail me now!
01:03:02Wheels fail me!
01:03:04Wheels fail me!
01:03:12Wait this way!
01:03:18What are you doing?
01:03:19Looking for the secret passage?
01:03:21There's always a secret passage!
01:03:22Darn it, brain, there's no secret passage.
01:03:25It's over.
01:03:33I'm sorry, you were saying?
01:03:35Technically, it's a secret staircase.
01:03:42Welcome to you and the millions of viewers around the globe.
01:03:47They come from all corners.
01:03:49And just look at them.
01:03:51They're all worried, sick about one thing.
01:03:54World peace.
01:03:55Well, tonight, it's within their grasp.
01:03:58And it has but a small price.
01:03:59And that price is...
01:04:00One hundred billion dollars!
01:04:09And I, for one, I think they can do it.
01:04:11And if they don't?
01:04:12Well, the evil invention last standing will be unleashed on the world.
01:04:15Oh!
01:04:17Just be too horrible to imagine!
01:04:30Where are we?
01:04:32And why am I panting?
01:04:34I don't have lungs.
01:04:35The tower of the king's castle. Look, there's the Kiliseum.
01:04:42Wow. I don't know what it is, but I want one.
01:04:46It's the beacon of evil on top of the royal castle.
01:04:51Wait. Is it a beacon?
01:04:54Whoa, whoa, whoa! Where are you going?
01:04:57And bring me back a toy!
01:05:05Whoa!
01:05:35Whoa!
01:05:44Whoa!
01:05:55The king's beacon is really a weather ray.
01:05:59King Malpert is making the storm clouds.
01:06:06Oh, shit! I beseech you!
01:06:08He lied to us.
01:06:11Yeah, it's right there. We need to give.
01:06:14Just like we need to be evil.
01:06:16You need to be evil.
01:06:19I know my choreography, if that's what you mean.
01:06:21I think you need to go deeper. Have you ever done anything evil?
01:06:26No.
01:06:27Well then, how can you play it truthfully?
01:06:29You know, you can't get this part if you fake it.
01:06:31Hit me!
01:06:32What?
01:06:33Hit me!
01:06:34I could never hit anyone.
01:06:36Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
01:06:38Igor was right. You are not an actress.
01:06:41Yes, I am.
01:06:42Oh, no, you're not. No wonder he chose Heidi.
01:06:45I mean, you know, she's beautiful, and you are not.
01:06:48She has got talent, and you do not.
01:06:50Don't you say that.
01:06:51Look at you. You are pathetic!
01:06:53No, I'm not.
01:06:54What?
01:06:55Yes, you are. You are just a big, freaky...
01:06:57Here it is, baby. Buckle up, here it comes.
01:06:59You are an ugly monster.
01:07:01You couldn't act your way out of...
01:07:03You are a ugly monster.
01:07:04I have no idea!
01:07:21We've... got... Annie!
01:07:26Malarians!
01:07:28Let's get... evil!
01:07:30Yeah.
01:07:54What? You're gonna lower yourself down?
01:07:56You've got your job, I've got mine. I'm coming, Eva.
01:08:00And bring me back a toy!
01:08:21That was close.
01:08:23He's okay. He's okay.
01:08:32I'm coming, Eva.
01:08:38Hold the switch!
01:08:42And here comes this year's evil inventions!
01:08:47Whoa!
01:08:51Whoa!
01:09:02Whoa!
01:09:08Whoa!
01:09:16What a menagerie of mayhem-loving monstrosities!
01:09:26Take a good look, world. Any of these could be coming for you.
01:09:31Only one evil invention left.
01:09:34Time for my crowning achievement.
01:09:37Hold the switch!
01:09:59That's Dr. Schadenfreude's invention?
01:10:08Eva!
01:10:10Let the battle begin!
01:10:12No!
01:10:18The son of a mouse!
01:10:23Tomorrow!
01:10:25Oh, hold on! What's this? It's fighting!
01:10:28Bet you got endowed at me tomorrow!
01:10:34And winning!
01:10:36Help me, son!
01:10:40Let me through! Let me through! I made her!
01:10:43You made her!
01:10:44Hey! Here's the genius Igor that made her!
01:10:47Just thinkin' about...
01:10:52Tomorrow...
01:10:54Please don't leave the...
01:10:57Top webs and the sorrow...
01:11:01Till there's...
01:11:04None!
01:11:05None!
01:11:06None!
01:11:08With our dead...
01:11:10Eva! Eva!
01:11:12Oh!
01:11:15And wait! And Igor has entered the arena!
01:11:18Not my shins!
01:11:20And grins!
01:11:21Don't worry, folks!
01:11:22He'll be dead!
01:11:23Sif!
01:11:23No!
01:11:25No!
01:11:32She's almost at her big finish!
01:11:33And if we don't destroy this weather, Ray, it's really over!
01:11:36Grr!
01:11:40Grr!
01:11:42Grr!
01:11:43Grr!
01:11:43Grr!
01:11:45Grr!
01:11:48I hope the sun will come out tomorrow, so you gotta...
01:11:54Leave it to Schadenfreude!
01:11:56Destroying his enemies with a giant girl in a red dress!
01:12:00Hey!
01:12:01I can't believe Schadenfreude did it again!
01:12:06What are you doing in the king's box, Schadenfreude?
01:12:08I was about to ask you the same question, Malby!
01:12:12Malby? What's the meaning of this?
01:12:14This means you're through!
01:12:16Or should I say overthrew him?
01:12:22Hey! You unhand him!
01:12:25He's your new king!
01:12:27And if you have a problem with that, please take it up with the head of my complaint department, who's
01:12:32the big monster over there!
01:12:35Maddy?
01:12:37There's gotta be a faster way to demolish this thing!
01:12:41We're all gonna die! Except you!
01:12:44Oh yeah!
01:12:58Tomorrow!
01:13:04Tomorrow!
01:13:05Tomorrow!
01:13:07Tomorrow!
01:13:07I love ya!
01:13:10Tomorrow!
01:13:11She's gotta take this whole place apart!
01:13:17You're always the day part!
01:13:22Wait!
01:13:24This isn't you!
01:13:26I did create you to be evil!
01:13:29And I'm sorry I lied to you!
01:13:31I lied to you about everything!
01:13:35This is just a role!
01:13:37You don't have to play it!
01:13:38Yes she does!
01:13:39You're an ego!
01:13:41She's an evil invention!
01:13:43No!
01:13:44Everyone has an evil bone in their body, but we choose whether or not to use it!
01:13:50As someone I loved once said, it's better to be a good nobody than an evil somebody!
01:14:09No!
01:14:13Uh-oh!
01:14:29I'm not evil!
01:14:33I'm Eva!
01:14:36That is the correct answer!
01:14:38Igor!
01:14:39I felt like I was in a dark, horrible place!
01:14:42We all were!
01:14:44Wait!
01:14:45What's happening?
01:14:47The end of Malaria's evil role in the world!
01:14:50Camera 2!
01:14:51Oh!
01:14:52Oh!
01:14:53Excellent!
01:14:54Thank you!
01:14:55Um...
01:14:56For generations, King Malbert has kept us in the dark by creating the clouds with a weather ray!
01:15:02He lied to us!
01:15:04We trusted him and he lied to us!
01:15:06He tricked us into thinking we needed to be evil to survive!
01:15:10But we don't!
01:15:14None of us do!
01:15:19This is outrageous!
01:15:21He has no proof!
01:15:22Where's his proof?
01:15:23I demand to see proof!
01:15:27I demand to see proof!
01:15:29I demand to see!
01:15:30I demand to see!
01:15:35I demand to see!
01:15:36Eh...
01:15:37I'm sure he's fine!
01:15:38Long live King Shutterfreud!
01:15:41Everybody!
01:15:42King Malbert the Liar is dead!
01:15:44Long live King Shutterfreud!
01:15:46Everybody say long live...
01:15:48Ah!
01:15:49Ah!
01:15:51Ah!
01:15:51Ah!
01:15:51Well...
01:15:52That was a short reign!
01:15:54Hey!
01:15:55Fellas!
01:15:56I'm single again!
01:15:59No more pills!
01:16:02I can't see what I really look like!
01:16:06Oh!
01:16:07My evil days are over!
01:16:10From here on out, all evil doings will be handled by my manager slash boyfriend!
01:16:24Oh!
01:16:25Oh!
01:16:25Oh!
01:16:25Oh!
01:16:25Oh!
01:16:30Oh!
01:16:30Oh!
01:16:31Oh!
01:16:40Uh, President Igor, now that you're in charge, will pants continue to be as expensive and uncomfortable as they were
01:16:47under the previous administration?
01:16:49What? What? No. Everything's about pants.
01:16:52Why's everything about pants with you?
01:16:55There you have it. Another politician afraid to answer the tough pants-related questions of Carl Christophe.
01:17:03Pickles. All family recipe. Pickles.
01:17:09Cocos. Strudel. La-la-le-hee.
01:17:15Yuck!
01:17:19Pick me up at seven. I'm gonna go home and shave.
01:17:25Hey, Scamper, have you seen Eva?
01:17:28No. Go away.
01:17:29Hans, you're wearing this backwards.
01:17:31What are you, blind?
01:17:34Let's, uh, switch this around.
01:17:37So, what do you do?
01:17:39I'm a genius. What do you do, mister?
01:17:45I'm sorry I'm late. I-I left your opening and I'd give back at the lab.
01:17:49Oh, my necklace!
01:17:51Look inside.
01:17:57Oh, my gosh. You're really gonna make this?
01:18:01Yeah, and if it doesn't work out, then we'll just adopt.
01:18:08It's a big step, getting a pet together.
01:18:10Come on. After living with Brain and Scamper, everything will seem like a breeze.
01:18:23I can see clearly now the rain is gone.
01:18:31I can see all obstacles in my way.
01:18:39Born on the dark clouds that had me on.
01:19:08I got a bucket, got a bucket full of sunshine. I got it up and I know, but it's all
01:19:12mine. Oh, whoa.
01:19:13I got a bucket, got a bucket full of sunshine. I got it up and I know, but it's all
01:19:13mine. Oh, whoa.
01:19:16Do what you want, but you're never gonna break me. Sticks and scoops are never gonna shake me. Oh, whoa.
01:19:24Take me away, a secret place, the sweet escape
01:19:31Take me away, take me away, to better days
01:19:38Take me away, a hiding place
01:19:42I got a pocket, got a pocket full of sunshine
01:19:45I got a love and I know that it's on my nose
01:19:51Do what you want but you're never gonna break me
01:19:54Sticks and stones are never gonna shake me, no
01:19:56Never gonna shake me, never gonna shake me
01:20:00I got a pocket, got a pocket full of sunshine
01:20:02I got a love and I know that it's on my nose
01:20:09Wish that you could but you ain't gonna own me
01:20:11Do anything you can to control me, no
01:20:14You can't control me, no
01:20:16Take me away, a secret place, the sweet escape
01:20:23Take me away, take me away, to better days
01:20:30Take me away, a hiding place
01:20:34There's a phase that I go that nobody knows
01:20:39Where the rivers flow, where the rivers flow
01:20:41And I call it home, and there's no more lies
01:20:45And the darkness is like, and nobody cries
01:20:49There's only one to fly
01:20:54Take me away, a secret place, the sweet escape
01:21:00Take me away, a secret place, the sweet escape
01:21:01Take me away, take me away, to better days
01:21:07Take me away, take me away
01:21:11Take me away, a hiding place
01:21:12Take me away, and I get it into hell
01:21:16Take me away, take me away, to better days
01:21:26Take me away, I'm hiding, I'm hiding, I'm hiding
01:21:34The sun is on my side, you take me for a ride
01:21:38I smile up to the sky, I know I'll be alright
01:22:18I smile up to the sky, I know I'll be alright
01:22:26I smile up to the sky
01:22:56I smile up to the sky, I know I'll be alright
01:23:26I smile up to the sky, I know I'll be alright
01:23:56I smile up to the sky, I know I'll be alright
01:24:26I smile up to the sky
01:25:01I love you
01:25:24I love you
01:25:40I love you
01:26:09I love you
01:26:28I love you
01:26:31I love you