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00:00:28Transcription by CastingWords
00:00:32CastingWords
00:01:14CastingWords
00:01:25CastingWords
00:01:35CastingWords
00:02:04Transcription by CastingWords
00:02:17CastingWords
00:03:04CastingWords
00:03:11CastingWords
00:03:17CastingWords
00:03:28Wow.
00:03:30What?
00:03:31Look.
00:03:34That's pretty awesome.
00:03:36That's beautiful.
00:03:39Yeah.
00:03:40Not as beautiful as you, though.
00:03:42Really?
00:03:43Is that the best you've got?
00:03:46What if I see an opportunity?
00:03:47I'm going to take it.
00:03:49Look here, sir.
00:03:51You better be glad you're pretty.
00:03:53That's all I've got to say about that.
00:04:28Where are you going?
00:04:30You'll see.
00:04:30I'm going to take it.
00:04:31Okay.
00:04:31I'm going to take it.
00:05:02I'm going to take it.
00:05:06I'm going to take it.
00:05:12I'm going to take it.
00:05:26Oh, my God, I love Kevin.
00:05:49Oh, my God.
00:06:17Oh, my God.
00:06:45Oh, my God.
00:06:55Oh, my God.
00:06:56Oh, my God.
00:07:18Oh, my God.
00:07:33Oh, my God.
00:07:39Oh, my God.
00:07:46Oh, my God.
00:07:56Oh, my God.
00:08:13Oh, my God.
00:08:14Oh, my God.
00:08:17Oh, my God.
00:08:27Oh, my God.
00:08:31Oh, my God.
00:09:01Oh, my God.
00:09:33Oh, my God.
00:10:22Oh, my God.
00:10:31Oh, my God.
00:11:23Oh, my God.
00:11:51Oh, my God.
00:12:17Oh, my God.
00:12:20Oh, my God.
00:13:01Oh, my God.
00:13:04Oh, my God.
00:13:34Oh, my God.
00:13:45Oh, my God.
00:14:18Oh, my God.
00:14:41Oh, my God.
00:15:05Oh, my God.
00:15:15Oh, my God.
00:15:50Oh, my God.
00:16:11Oh, my God.
00:16:13watching? Hang on. Being a scream queen used to be about more than a set of longs and nice tits.
00:16:19It used to be about acting talent and the ability to show the right amount of fear
00:16:23while screaming. Nowadays, you have some bitches who don't even scream in some fucking films,
00:16:28but because they're hot, they get to be called a scream queen. It is not fair to actresses like
00:16:32Dee Wallace, Barbara Crampton, Barbara Steele, who fucking screamed their asses off trying to
00:16:37fit your damn mold. Yes. You know, all of those actresses have shown in some form of the movie
00:16:45Yes. Yes, we have bludgeoned back wall and peasant sections. Oh my god, the walk-ins tell it as
00:16:50it is. Nudity isn't the issue. Fuck it. Either way, if the bitch don't scream, she ain't a scream
00:16:56queen. Hey guys, what's up? Back me up, girls. Should a scream queen be defined as tits for talent?
00:17:02Both.
00:17:07What the fuck you look like, douchebag? Boots, boot, boot. Boots.
00:17:13All right. Hey, you guys, this ride is here. Yes, it is.
00:17:17See ya.
00:17:17I tell you, fuck ya.
00:17:20Mark, put that foot away.
00:17:23Yeah, we about to fucking reach.
00:17:29Ladies.
00:17:32Connor, where the fuck am I going?
00:17:34In the back.
00:17:35Oh my god.
00:17:40What the fuck?
00:17:42You better get in and shut the door in one box.
00:17:45Fuck.
00:17:45We're back.
00:18:18Hey Meg, pick up the damn phone already.
00:18:21We're already on our way to the woods.
00:18:23We don't know where to meet you.
00:18:25Give me a call back.
00:18:26Bye.
00:18:27So we have no clue where we're going because Meg and Luke are probably wasted.
00:18:33I tried calling her last night but they were probably busy.
00:18:38Didn't she take a beer bottle to the ass?
00:18:40Where did you hear that?
00:18:41Last spring break, I heard she took a beer bottle to the ass.
00:18:46I'm just saying, that's some goddamn talent.
00:18:48I want to know which end went in first.
00:18:50I heard she took it like a pro, face first.
00:18:52That sounds painful.
00:18:54Yeah, yeah. Anything's a dildo if you're brave enough.
00:18:59Are you into sissy?
00:19:00Yeah, no way.
00:19:12Keep insisting that you're saving.
00:19:18We both know your heaven's broken truth.
00:19:25This looks like as good a place as any.
00:19:27Let out the Mackie Poo!
00:19:28No, leave him in there.
00:19:30Yep, leave him there.
00:19:35Should we do it?
00:19:36No, let him sit.
00:19:39Now we know how Jane's niece feels.
00:19:41Fuck!
00:19:43Connor!
00:19:44What are you, the goddamn green arrow?
00:19:51Sitting in the back of the fucking trunk.
00:19:54Really?
00:19:55You got it!
00:19:56That's cool.
00:19:58Alright, another one.
00:19:58Connor, it looks like it's up to you.
00:20:00Good luck.
00:20:00Oh my god.
00:20:01This is a man.
00:20:02Man job.
00:20:08I can see him having me.
00:20:32Does anybody want to go check out the woods and possibly look for Megan Luke?
00:20:36Sure.
00:20:36I don't know.
00:20:37Whatever gets me away from that mouth breather.
00:20:39Well, come on.
00:20:40We'll be back later.
00:20:41Wait.
00:20:42What if we run into a bear?
00:20:44You're not going to run into a bear out here.
00:20:46The only thing you have to worry about in these woods is the dycanthrope and the combat boots.
00:20:52Just remember, my balls are bigger than yours.
00:20:55She can definitely beat your ass.
00:20:57Oh, what a beating it would be.
00:20:59I could say to see that.
00:21:01You know, Mac, you might as well go along with them.
00:21:04They do run into a bear.
00:21:06The slow-moving target really helped them get away.
00:21:09Nope.
00:21:10Or you could stay here and help me chop wood.
00:21:13Hold up, bitches!
00:21:26Meg!
00:21:27O-M-G.
00:21:28Luke!
00:21:29Will you shut the fuck up?
00:21:31Where are you guys?
00:21:35Meg!
00:21:35Meg!
00:21:36Luke!
00:21:37Where are you guys?
00:21:39Meg!
00:21:39Luke!
00:21:40Where are you guys?
00:21:42Where are you guys?
00:21:44You okay?
00:21:45Meg is seriously starting to piss me off.
00:21:47I can handle both.
00:21:48I can handle both.
00:21:49I've got two decks.
00:21:52Let's just relax and get fucked up.
00:21:56Alright.
00:21:56That sounds good.
00:22:03You want a hit?
00:22:05You want a hit?
00:22:05What the hell, sir?
00:22:11You okay?
00:22:13I think this shit's gone bad.
00:22:15Shit ain't gone bad.
00:22:17Trust me.
00:22:21See?
00:22:23What about you, Betty badass?
00:22:25You want a hit of this shit?
00:22:31Careful.
00:22:32Well, I see them.
00:22:36I've had better.
00:22:38Okay.
00:22:39I'll give you better.
00:22:52Seriously.
00:22:53I shit you not.
00:22:55Luke said, she closed her eyes, says to herself, it's just chocolate.
00:23:02Remind me never to drink after Meg.
00:23:04Right?
00:23:05Wait.
00:23:06I got one for you guys.
00:23:12So do you remember when Max set his fucking pants on fire?
00:23:18What the fuck?
00:23:20Yeah.
00:23:20He grabbed a gas can and some spilled all over his pants.
00:23:25You should have seen him running around with his pants around his ankles.
00:23:30Trying to get them off.
00:23:34Oh man.
00:23:36I think I'm ready to crash.
00:23:38Is everything okay?
00:23:38Yeah.
00:23:40I just started a little too early.
00:23:45Good night everybody.
00:23:47Good night.
00:23:51You're ready to crash.
00:23:53Yeah.
00:23:53I want to wake up early tomorrow anyways and try to track down Meg.
00:23:57But I don't want to go to sleep.
00:24:00You don't have to go to sleep.
00:24:02Oh.
00:24:02Well you can't just leave me here with this.
00:24:06He's got boner for you.
00:24:09Have fun.
00:24:10Nope.
00:24:32You got everything?
00:24:33Yep.
00:24:34All locked up tight in the truck.
00:24:35How about the food?
00:24:36200 yards from the campsite just like the book said.
00:24:42Are you tired?
00:24:44Yeah.
00:24:44I'm weak.
00:24:46Oh daddy I like it.
00:25:05It's getting really hot in here.
00:25:07Open the door.
00:25:14It's getting really hot in here.
00:25:30Oh daddy!,
00:25:39what are you doing tonight? Oh
00:25:40god. There
00:25:40you go! Uh...
00:25:45What the fuck?
00:26:16What the fuck?
00:26:42You fucking perv, what the fuck do you think you're doing?
00:26:45I'm, uh, I was trying to watch Eaterpuss.
00:26:52Do that again.
00:26:54Fuck off.
00:27:08Rising shine, creeper.
00:27:11What the fuck?
00:27:13That's what you get for being a creepy, peeping motherfucker.
00:27:17What the fuck?
00:27:21What the fuck did you do to my chair?
00:27:24Broke it with my magnum dong.
00:27:26Oh, George.
00:27:27Parker, I'm using your Gary.
00:27:31Coleman's intent to change now.
00:27:36Come on, Mac.
00:27:37Get your shit together so we can go.
00:27:42Alex, I heard some wrestling last night, did you guys go looking for Megan Luke?
00:27:49No, we crashed right after you guys did.
00:27:54That wrestling you guys heard last night was Mac joining the Black Eyed Perks Club.
00:28:00It looks like his initiation went well.
00:28:10What the fuck did you drink last night, you alcoholic?
00:28:14You guys ready now?
00:28:17Yeah.
00:28:17Hang on.
00:28:18I got something for Jay.
00:28:21You fucking connoisseurus?
00:28:30You want to help me with this cooler?
00:28:33Sure.
00:28:36This way, fuckhead.
00:28:38Sure.
00:28:51I haven't thought of you in so long
00:28:55I hope you're well, I hope you're okay
00:28:58Haven't thought of you in so long
00:29:01And I'd like to keep it that way
00:29:17I haven't seen you around here
00:29:20I haven't seen you around here
00:29:21I'm afraid
00:29:22I'm a silly dude
00:29:25Holy cock
00:29:27I'm taller than a fifth grader
00:29:30Break time
00:29:32Tie tie car
00:29:35Alright, so let's make sure
00:29:36I'm not going to slow that piece of shit
00:29:39Alright
00:29:39Good morning
00:29:41Get me down
00:29:43Ugh
00:29:48Do you think they're okay?
00:29:49Who?
00:29:51Megan Luke
00:29:53I thought we were here to relax and have some fun
00:29:56You need to stop worrying about other people
00:29:59Focus on you
00:30:01Or
00:30:02Better yet
00:30:03Us
00:30:05Last time I checked
00:30:06They were grown-ass adults with their own lives and own issues
00:30:13I have a brilliant idea
00:30:17Lacey goes topless
00:30:20That's one of that in my dreams
00:30:23We win
00:30:29I know you have a big heart
00:30:31And you worry about everything
00:30:34But sometimes people just need to get away
00:30:36Go off the good fur bed
00:30:40Look, we're about to be tossed into the buying pan
00:30:44No financial aid
00:30:45No help from mommy and daddy
00:30:46It's the first one of the time
00:30:48I mean, that's why we're all up here
00:30:51To get away from everything
00:30:53Cutterie boots
00:30:56So
00:30:57Have a dream
00:31:00And let all your problems just fade to the background
00:31:05You're right
00:31:06And that's why I love you
00:31:10Now go get me a beer
00:31:13You know
00:31:13This doesn't make me the bitch
00:31:20Am I the only one to get in?
00:31:22Yeah
00:31:22You're right
00:31:23You're right
00:31:25You're right
00:31:35You're right
00:31:38You're right
00:31:40You're right
00:31:41You're right
00:31:43You're right
00:31:43You're right
00:31:45You're right
00:31:46You're right
00:31:46You're right
00:31:47You're right
00:31:50You're right
00:31:51You're right
00:31:52You're right
00:31:52You're right
00:31:52You're right
00:31:56what the hell are you kids doing back here
00:31:58oh um you know we're just camping for the weekend
00:32:01trying to have a good time we're just trying to unwind from school
00:32:06well it looks like you found a nice spot to take a dip
00:32:09yeah this place is really nice
00:32:12excuse me sir you haven't seen our friends they came up about a day ago
00:32:16and we haven't been able to find them or their campsite
00:32:18negative these woods are pretty big there's lots of places to slip in
00:32:22and out of you know tight places for privacy if you know what i mean
00:32:29but um i'll let you kids get back to having your fun and uh i got things to do
00:32:34and creatures to protect
00:32:40wow that guy was a little um a little fucking weird don't you think
00:32:45he was just staring at your tits
00:32:47well you know what he was actually kind of cute
00:32:50and he probably has a really big dick
00:33:03a couple angles save that for later
00:33:08get the live action now oh yeah
00:33:15oh fuck yeah
00:33:16this is all shit
00:33:23fuck
00:33:40oh god
00:34:00lacy
00:34:01what
00:34:03bill murray
00:34:05oh god
00:34:06chris farley
00:34:07adam sandler
00:34:09fuck my life
00:34:10go
00:34:10let's see
00:34:12i married chris
00:34:15definitely fuck bill
00:34:16and
00:34:19adam's a fucking goner
00:34:20what i don't know
00:34:24okay
00:34:25okay
00:34:25parker
00:34:27this one's for you
00:34:28hit me
00:34:33okay
00:34:34okay
00:34:35okay
00:34:35okay
00:34:36ben affleck
00:34:37bat flag
00:34:38shut up
00:34:39george carlin
00:34:41and
00:34:44that's the price
00:34:48old sack of bones
00:34:53okay bone
00:34:55kevin smith
00:34:56kevin smith baby
00:34:56all the way
00:34:57oh
00:35:00all right
00:35:01all right
00:35:02oh lesbians
00:35:04parker just lost the game
00:35:06let's get to the bed
00:35:08what are you doing at
00:35:09i know you want some parker's pants
00:35:11yeah yeah yeah
00:35:13but see i like dick so
00:35:14right here
00:35:15well you don't want his
00:35:16oh god
00:35:19so okay lesbians
00:35:21yes
00:35:22this is a very serious question
00:35:24yes
00:35:24yes
00:35:25yes
00:35:25why not the giant of these
00:35:27like
00:35:27all right
00:35:28i think it's about that time too
00:35:30threesome
00:35:31no you're gross
00:35:33get out of here
00:35:36you're not gonna fall asleep on me are you
00:35:38you know damn well i have no intention of falling asleep
00:35:43her
00:35:48oh my god
00:35:49i'm all by myself
00:35:50i'm all by myself
00:35:51all right
00:35:51alright
00:35:51thank you
00:35:53i'm the one with the back
00:35:54ladies
00:35:54i'm the one with the back
00:35:58ladies
00:35:59Fancy meeting you here.
00:36:04What?
00:36:04What's wrong?
00:36:06I'm sorry, I just can't stop thinking about Megan and Luke.
00:36:10I mean, we've been out here for days.
00:36:12I mean, we haven't seen or heard from them at all.
00:36:15I mean, when something happened, what the hurt?
00:36:19There's rangers everywhere in this park.
00:36:22I'm sure if something were to go wrong,
00:36:25the ranger would find them.
00:36:27Are you sure?
00:36:31I guess.
00:36:33Look, it's been a while since we've gotten this far.
00:36:36Do you remember the first time?
00:36:40Yeah.
00:36:43We didn't leave the apartment for, what, three whole days?
00:36:47Exactly.
00:36:49Let's do the same.
00:36:51Let's just stay in this tent for the next three days.
00:36:53Fuck everybody else.
00:37:02Ladies, do you want to play a game?
00:37:05I think I packed a deck of cards, actually.
00:37:07No, we don't need no goddamn cards for this fucking game.
00:37:12What's the name of the game, dipshit?
00:37:14Truth or dear.
00:37:16Oh, Jesus Christ.
00:37:18This is clear.
00:37:23Alright, Mac.
00:37:25Truth or dare?
00:37:27Dare.
00:37:27Dare.
00:37:28I dare you to try the rest of that pussy-ass drink.
00:37:32Alright, trying to get me all loosey-deucy.
00:37:35I respect that.
00:37:36Mm-hmm.
00:37:38Mm-hmm.
00:37:47Alex.
00:37:48Yeah.
00:37:49Truth or dare?
00:37:51Truth.
00:37:52Truth.
00:37:54Really?
00:37:55You gonna be a lame shit?
00:37:58Alright, alright.
00:38:01Have you ever, I don't know, been eating out in public?
00:38:07Really?
00:38:07Really, really.
00:38:08Just gonna dive right in there?
00:38:10I mean, if it's the limitation, I'll dive right in there.
00:38:12No.
00:38:12No, I haven't.
00:38:15Jesus.
00:38:16Alright, Mac.
00:38:17If that's how you wanna play it.
00:38:20Truth or dare.
00:38:25Truth.
00:38:26You pussy-ass bitch.
00:38:28You pussy-ass bitch.
00:38:49Truth.
00:38:50Eight inches.
00:38:51Just a round.
00:38:52In your dreams, little man.
00:38:55Alright.
00:38:56Jane.
00:38:57Truth.
00:38:59Or motherfucking dare?
00:39:01Dare.
00:39:02Mm-hmm.
00:39:04I dare you.
00:39:06To get to third base.
00:39:07Right here.
00:39:09Right now.
00:39:10At this campfire.
00:39:12With Alex.
00:39:12Alex. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Yeah. There you go. Daddy like me.
00:39:38What do you ladies say we move this to the toes?
00:39:40I think that sounds like a fantastic idea.
00:39:43I think it sounds like a grade A goddamn idea.
00:39:51Wow. Right.
00:39:55And your dream sucks hard.
00:39:57But hey, thanks for getting things going.
00:40:00No. Sweet dreams.
00:40:03What the fuck am I supposed to do with this?
00:40:28Goddamn it.
00:40:29Oh.
00:40:58I'm sorry.
00:40:59I'm sorry.
00:41:06Well, Jill, looks like me and you are getting into a fight tonight.
00:41:30Oh, my God.
00:42:00Oh, my God.
00:42:09Oh, my God.
00:42:11Oh, my God.
00:42:24Oh, my God.
00:42:28Oh, my God.
00:42:37Oh, my God.
00:43:00Oh, my God.
00:43:03Oh, my God.
00:43:03Oh, my God.
00:43:10Oh, my God.
00:43:23Oh, my God.
00:43:34Oh, my God.
00:43:48Oh, my God.
00:44:02Oh, my God.
00:44:03Oh, my God.
00:44:09I will be right back.
00:44:12You better hurry.
00:44:13I will.
00:44:17Don't go anywhere.
00:44:24Fuck!
00:44:56Fuck!
00:45:19Oh, no.
00:45:22Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
00:45:47Alex, holy shit.
00:45:49Jane!
00:46:13Jane, get the fuck out of here!
00:46:41Ahhhh!
00:47:07what the fuck was that
00:47:08it looked like a goddamn alien
00:47:12babe
00:47:12I gotta take a look
00:47:14just breathe
00:47:17and try to be quiet
00:47:21shh
00:47:21hey
00:47:22you good
00:47:26you're so fucked
00:47:28hold this back
00:47:30oh fuck
00:47:34you're so fucked
00:47:37what the fuck was that
00:47:40I don't know
00:47:41we need to get the fuck out of the woods
00:47:44what we need
00:47:45is a big fucking machine gun
00:47:47what we need
00:47:48is to find the ranger
00:47:50no no no
00:47:50we need some fucking katanas
00:47:52some fucking throwing stars
00:47:54some goddamn predator level fucking hunting shit
00:47:57snap the fuck out of it asshole
00:47:59what I was gonna say
00:48:00what I was gonna say
00:48:00is we need to go to the fucking car
00:48:02and get the goddamn arsenal out of it
00:48:05we should just wait it out here
00:48:07are you fucking dumb Alex
00:48:09all our friends
00:48:10just got their fucking guts
00:48:12ripped the fuck out of them
00:48:13we're not fucking sitting here
00:48:15we're going to that fucking car
00:48:17fine let's go
00:48:20come on
00:48:31where the fuck are they
00:48:33is that Meg
00:48:39no it's not Meg okay
00:48:41I can't do this anymore
00:48:43I want to go home
00:48:44I want to go home right now
00:48:46we need to fucking go
00:48:48is what we need to do
00:48:49okay
00:48:49come on let's go
00:49:03what the actual fuck
00:49:06holy shit
00:49:09I got his keys
00:49:14oh fuck
00:49:16oh my god
00:49:29I think it
00:49:30I think it ate our ovaries
00:49:32why would it do that
00:49:37now we need the fucking nunchucks
00:49:42it's a shame too
00:49:44them tits were awesome
00:49:57what in the fuck
00:49:58are you looking for
00:50:00in case that thing comes back
00:50:02we should have some fucking weapons
00:50:13fuck
00:50:19fuck
00:50:21fuck
00:50:22fuck
00:50:23fuck
00:50:24fuck
00:50:25fuck
00:50:43Jane, you've got north!
00:50:46No!
00:50:48Jane, run!
00:51:09Jane, you've got the fucking keys!
00:51:22Jane, you've got the fucking keys!
00:51:25Jane, you've got the fucking keys!
00:51:38Jane, you've got the actual keys!
00:51:45Jane, you've got the back end!
00:51:53Oh, I can't.
00:51:58Baby, I need you to keep going.
00:52:00Mm-mm.
00:52:02No.
00:52:03Baby, come on.
00:52:04I love you.
00:52:06No, come on, you gotta keep going.
00:52:09No, no, no, no, come on.
00:52:12Stay with me, okay?
00:52:14We're gonna make it out of here.
00:52:16I promise.
00:52:19Alex!
00:52:21Don't go, please don't leave me.
00:52:31Come on, come on, come on.
00:52:32Please.
00:52:40No.
00:52:41No.
00:52:44No.
00:52:57No.
00:52:59No.
00:53:00No.
00:53:01No.
00:53:02Come here.
00:53:35Come here.
00:54:02Come here.
00:54:40Come here.
00:55:03Come here.
00:55:32Come here.
00:56:02Come here.
00:56:03Come here.
00:56:33Come here.
00:56:36Come here.
00:56:37Come here.
00:56:40Come here.
00:56:41Come here.
00:57:11Come here.
00:57:41Come here.
00:57:42Come here.
00:57:43Come here.
00:58:10Come here.
00:58:40Come here.
00:59:10Come here.
00:59:40Come here.
01:00:10Come here.
01:00:40Come here.
01:01:10Come here.
01:01:40Come here.
01:01:40Come here.
01:01:40Come here.
01:02:10Come here.
01:02:37Come here.
01:02:40Come here.
01:03:11Come here.
01:03:11Come here.
01:03:36Come here.
01:03:39Come here.
01:04:24Come here.
01:04:50Come here.
01:05:04Okay.
01:05:29Come here.
01:05:32Come here.
01:06:01That'll work.
01:06:01Come here.
01:06:32What'd you say.
01:07:02What'd you say?
01:07:03I'm glad I'm glad I'm here.
01:07:04I'm here.
01:07:06I'm here.
01:07:13I'm here.
01:07:18I'm here.
01:07:19I'm here.
01:07:20I'm here.
01:07:50I'm here.
01:08:26I'm here.
01:08:50I'm here.
01:09:20I'm here.
01:09:57I'm here.
01:10:23I'm here.
01:10:26I'm here.
01:10:30I'm here.
01:11:07I'm here.
01:11:30I'm here.
01:11:31I'm here.
01:11:49I'm here.
01:12:12I'm here.
01:12:42I'm here.
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