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00:00Oh my God.
00:00That man's got 180 children.
00:02No, he's bigger than us, Matt.
00:04Have a look.
00:05Oh, we're not going to see an erection, are we?
00:06Oh my God, can you imagine?
00:08African greys are notorious.
00:09They're the worst behaved parrots.
00:11This steam tune doesn't help make you damn so, doesn't it?
00:14Yeah.
00:14Oh, Nigel, let's give up this showbiz life
00:17and go and live on a canal boat.
00:20Yeah.
00:21In the week we bid a fond farewell to artist David Hockney,
00:25we enjoyed lots of great telly.
00:29Rachel was shuffling her numbers on Channel 4.
00:3225, 100, 50 and 75 and the first target, 639.
00:38639, numbers up.
00:39What set maths were you?
00:41Top.
00:41No, you weren't.
00:42Yes, I was.
00:43No, you weren't.
00:44What are eight nines?
00:46What do you mean?
00:47What's eight times nine?
00:4881.
00:49Oh, OK, maybe you were.
00:51I was bottom set.
00:52What's nine times nine?
00:5581.
00:5681.
00:56So you're so thick, you didn't know I got it wrong.
00:59So eight times nine was wrong.
01:00So you were bottom set.
01:01I wasn't.
01:01I was tricking.
01:02I was.
01:02You were not.
01:03You were not.
01:04I was riddling you.
01:06More scams were being busted on the BBC.
01:09You're on the phone to a scammer, my love.
01:11You need to hang up the phone.
01:12Hang up.
01:14This is Scam Interceptors.
01:17This is Scam Interceptors.
01:20I am Nigel Hamers.
01:22Well, you know, it's amazing, isn't it, really?
01:24Have you had your medication this morning?
01:26No, I forgot to take it.
01:29Another celebrity was off-globetrotting on Disney+.
01:32Sights and experiences.
01:34That's a fang.
01:35I'm in the head.
01:35In Paris, Mexico City, London, and my hometown.
01:41You're in New York tragedy.
01:42I'll never, never forget the time you told me that you went to New York and the first place
01:49you tried was TGI's because you thought that's the home of TGI's.
01:53That was, that was you venturing out.
01:56And it was good.
01:56You preferred the one in Basildon.
01:58Way, way better in Basildon.
01:59You know, that was going to shut down.
02:01Was it?
02:02I petitioned.
02:03And is it staying?
02:03Still there.
02:04Still going.
02:05No way, because of you.
02:06Well, I like to take credit for it.
02:08But, yeah.
02:10They've got some more investment.
02:11Still going strong.
02:19In Essex.
02:20Chocolate goats.
02:21Do you know what?
02:23I should be surprised by you.
02:25You get weirder.
02:26Why have you got chocolate goats?
02:28Best mates Jordan and Perry.
02:31Okay, you're telling me if you didn't see that in the shot, you wouldn't pick it up?
02:33No, I wouldn't.
02:35Then you're an outright liar.
02:36Why would I buy a chocolate goat?
02:38Because it's, do you like chocolate?
02:40Yeah.
02:40Do you like goats?
02:43On Thursday, things were nearing fever pitch in our favourite letters and numbers game
02:48on Channel 4.
02:50What annoys me about it is when the contestant does, I'll have a consonant, please.
02:57I'll have a vowel, please.
03:00Another vowel.
03:01That is the format of the show.
03:02No, I know.
03:04What do you want?
03:05Do you want them to read them up?
03:07No, you say, I'll have five consonants and four vowels.
03:09Oh, you think, get the orc, get the orc, yeah.
03:11It's just quicker.
03:11Who does it these days?
03:12It was Anne Robinson when I was on it.
03:16Do you have an affair with Anne Robinson?
03:18No.
03:21Countdown just highlights how incredibly thick I am.
03:24No, you're good at Countdown.
03:26We'll be good.
03:26Do you know one word that always gets stuck in my head every now and again?
03:30Onomatopoeia.
03:31And I think I like that one.
03:32Because I remember learning.
03:34Wallop.
03:36That is an onomatopoeia.
03:38Is it?
03:38What does onomatopoeia mean?
03:41I like the word.
03:42Is that your favourite word?
03:43Today we start our quest to crown the Series 93 champion and the recipient of that Richard
03:51Whiteley Memorial Trophy.
03:53Do you know who Richard Whiteley was?
03:54Mm-mm.
03:55First presenter of Countdown.
03:56Right.
03:56Was Richard Whiteley in that trophy then?
03:58I don't know.
04:00What is...
04:01He's ashes.
04:02Well, let's introduce our number one seed.
04:04Patrick Thompson returns.
04:07Strong shirt.
04:08Big fan of Patrick and his shirt already.
04:10What would I be number one seed in?
04:14I'm offended.
04:15I'm offended.
04:16That took a bit too long.
04:18Start the first quarterfinal.
04:19We then.
04:20And another.
04:22G.
04:23This is what I mean.
04:24I.
04:25And another.
04:26A.
04:27Great.
04:27I've got great already.
04:29Well done, you.
04:30Great.
04:31Oh, yeah.
04:32Very good.
04:33And a final E.
04:35Goodness me.
04:36At home, I'm in the studio.
04:37Let's play Countdown.
04:38Right.
04:38So it started.
04:38Oh, my God.
04:39I'm panicking.
04:39I'm panicking.
04:41I'm panicking.
04:44Degrading.
04:45Is that in there?
04:45Treading.
04:46Treading's a good one.
04:47Grenade.
04:48You've got grenade?
04:49G-R-E-N-A-D-E.
04:51How are you so good at this?
04:53I feel like I'm on the surf with Susie Dent.
04:59I'm going to go grande.
05:00Would that count?
05:01G-R-A-N-D-E.
05:03Grande.
05:04Shredding.
05:06Shredding is really good.
05:07These are good letters.
05:08We should be able to get more than this.
05:09An eight.
05:10That's an eight.
05:11Yeah, all right.
05:12But it feels like there should be a nine here.
05:14I bet they've got a nine.
05:14Well, go on, then.
05:15No, I don't know what it is, but they're octachamps.
05:20Tearing, tearing, tearing.
05:21T-E-A-R-I-N-G.
05:23That's a seven, Joe.
05:24Patrick.
05:25Nine.
05:26Oh, Christ.
05:27Nine?
05:28Oh, my God.
05:29I told you.
05:30Denigrate.
05:31And for you, Tom.
05:32The same word, denigrate.
05:33Just pass it over.
05:35Yes.
05:35What's denigrate?
05:36Put down.
05:38Oh, denigrate.
05:39Denigrate.
05:40Oh, he's denigrated all over me.
05:42I don't think it's that.
05:44No.
05:44Start with O.
05:46And another.
05:47I.
05:48Oi.
05:49That's a good one.
05:49And a consonant.
05:51P.
05:52O-A-P, Nigel.
05:53O-A.
05:54Another consonant, please.
05:56Lastly, T.
05:58Half a minute.
05:59Snowpoles.
06:00Mansplains nearly there.
06:03I'm just struggling with trying to think of any word.
06:07Why is it so hard?
06:11Tim's...
06:12My...
06:13Naples?
06:14No, you need two Ps.
06:16Naples.
06:16I've got a Spam.
06:18Spam?
06:19Spam.
06:21Super-at-me.
06:23And me.
06:24Spam.
06:28Snap is probably the best we've got.
06:30That's terrible.
06:31Lipo.
06:32Lipo.
06:33You're going with four, are you?
06:34No, plants.
06:35Plants.
06:35A six.
06:36Patrick.
06:37Eight.
06:38Oh, what's he got?
06:39Oh, Patrick.
06:41How on earth do you get eight out of that?
06:42Patrick's on it.
06:43That's why it's number one seed.
06:45Implants.
06:46Implants.
06:46Are we well spotted?
06:48Oh!
06:48You should have got that.
06:51Let's do numbers for the first time today.
06:54See, this is where I'm out.
06:55I'm like, there's...
06:57I should just take my glasses off.
07:0025, 100, 50, and 75, and the first target, 639.
07:05So, so, two...
07:07Oh, don't say it out loud.
07:08Oh, God.
07:10So, this is like maths?
07:11Yeah.
07:12It's not like maths, it is maths.
07:14Okay.
07:17100 times 7.
07:18Yeah, 700.
07:19700.
07:21I'm lost.
07:227 times 100 is 700.
07:25Yeah.
07:25Minus.
07:26Minus 75 gives you 625.
07:31625 plus 3, 628.
07:34That's as close as I've got.
07:38I've got 640.
07:39Go on.
07:406 times 100 is 100.
07:42Where's the 6?
07:43Oh, no.
07:45It's too hard.
07:46I don't like this part of the game.
07:48I wasn't watching this.
07:48I was watching Home and Away.
07:50Me too.
07:50It was on at the same time, wasn't it?
07:52Yeah.
07:53No child in their right mind would choose Countdown over Home and Away.
07:58You got it?
07:59I haven't got 639, no.
08:01Fuck!
08:02I've got, I've got 700.
08:03Okay, four large, 639, Patrick.
08:06Yeah, 639.
08:07Patrick.
08:08Wow.
08:09How casual.
08:10And Tom.
08:12641.
08:13641.
08:14Oh, you fool.
08:15I'll be honest, Max, I don't know if when I was in my GC,
08:19GC, maths, I would have been able to have even completed question one
08:23with you next to me.
08:24That's fair.
08:25That is fair.
08:25Oh, I don't know.
08:26Oh, maybe we do that.
08:27Then we do this.
08:27Then we'll power this.
08:28How about that?
08:29Oh, God.
08:30Ten more points to come up.
08:31They're always extra hard as we reveal our first quarterfinal.
08:36Countdown conundrum.
08:37I don't know.
08:37I'm ready for it.
08:39Conundrum's not good for me, yeah?
08:42Can you spell conundrum?
08:43C-O-N-U-N-D-R-U-M.
08:46Bloody hell, that was good.
08:47Grow up.
08:47Countdown conundrum.
08:50What?
08:51What?
08:53Oh, my God, Patrick.
08:55We're trying to play along.
08:57Ridiculous.
08:57Okay, well, uh...
08:59He's already got it.
09:00What?
09:01Uh, chrysalis.
09:02Have a look.
09:03Wow.
09:04Wow!
09:05No, that is crazy.
09:07Is that like a disease?
09:11Oh, have you got chrysalis again?
09:14Try and put that in a sentence.
09:16Chrysalis?
09:16Yeah.
09:16I'll be like, can I get two glasses of chrysalis, please?
09:19Can I get two glasses of cold, crisp chrysalis?
09:22Do you think you'd be good on it if you went on?
09:23Do you think you'd cope with the pressure?
09:25I'd just ask them to stop time.
09:26Just stop the time?
09:27You know, like Bernard's Watch.
09:29Oh, my God, what a show.
09:30That was good, right?
09:31My first crush, Bernard.
09:34On Thursday, Rav and the gang were back giving cybercriminals what for on the BBC.
09:41Scam interceptors are actually awesome.
09:43They're the people that intercept scammers.
09:45I like scams, though, so...
09:46I got one of those emails saying, we know what you've been looking at online and we will publish it
09:52all unless you pay us £10,000 now.
09:55And I was like, well, feel free to let people know that I occasionally read The Guardian online.
10:02Do you want to sit on my lap this week, Nigel?
10:04I think it would be nice.
10:06Are you scamming me?
10:07I'm only joking.
10:07I don't want your bony arse on my delicate thighs.
10:12This is Scam Interceptors.
10:17You're doing God's work.
10:18Have you ever been scammed?
10:20Er, yeah.
10:22Have you, actually?
10:23Well, it was my own fault.
10:24How?
10:25Because I believed someone when they told me to invest in oil that was coming out of Venezuela.
10:34When the team aren't intercepting scam calls...
10:37They're like doing jigsaw puzzles.
10:40They're busy looking into other types of scams.
10:43This is good, actually.
10:44This is a good education, especially for me.
10:46Interceptor Mark...
10:47I feel like I know him.
10:48...has been looking into one of the fastest growing and manipulative scams out there.
10:53Go on, what is it?
10:54We've been looking into what we're calling a celebrity impersonation scam.
10:58Oh, I don't know him.
10:59I've had this.
11:00I've had a DM from someone saying, hello, I'm Diana Ross, and I need money to help me get back
11:07to America after I've been on tour.
11:09So, we set up a Facebook profile.
11:11I had my picture, my face on it, and I joined some celebrity groups for fans of these celebrities all
11:17around the world.
11:18Oh, my God.
11:19There was once upon a time someone thought I was JB from JLS.
11:23I know.
11:24That's just...
11:25Now, we can see four people claiming to be the legitimate Reese Witherspoon.
11:29Reese Witherspoon, is that a pub?
11:31No, that's Witherspoon, isn't it?
11:33Reese Witherspoon is a famous actress.
11:37Imagine.
11:37Oh, my God.
11:38Reese Witherspoon wants to shag me.
11:39That's mad.
11:40This person is claiming to be Reese Witherspoon and opens with a cold message saying, hello, sweetheart, with a little
11:45kiss.
11:46Hello, sweetheart.
11:47Hello, sweetheart.
11:49She's become a market trader for me, Stantos.
11:52So, you've questioned it.
11:53Is this Reese?
11:54And the reply...
11:55Yes, of course, babe.
11:57Any problem.
12:00Babe.
12:02That's how Reese speaks.
12:05This is a close vibe.
12:07Yeah, right, chicken.
12:08The scammer at this point sent me this video.
12:10I didn't ask for this.
12:12This is an interesting watch.
12:13It's the first half of Legally Blonde.
12:15Hello.
12:15I'm real.
12:16So, if you don't believe me, I don't know what to tell you.
12:18This is me.
12:19Have a good day.
12:23Just moving really strangely.
12:25Hello.
12:26This is me.
12:27If you don't believe me, then that's okay.
12:28Have a good day.
12:29After about a week of chatting, last night I got these messages from Reese to purchase a VIP card.
12:36Here we go.
12:38Get your credit card out.
12:39I had a message from someone claiming to be Reese Willerspoon Management.
12:44They said their name was Rick Yorn.
12:46Rick what?
12:47Rick Yorn.
12:48There is a legitimate Hollywood producer called Rick Yorn.
12:51Can't be very successful if he's got a second business.
12:55We know for sure that the person Mark is talking to is a scammer.
12:59Time to give them a call and try to get some answers.
13:03It's Eamon Holmes, isn't it?
13:05Rick, mate, answer the phone.
13:07Hi.
13:08Is that Reese's manager?
13:18Oh, come on, mate.
13:20My brother, I'm sorry.
13:22Come on.
13:23I'm sorry.
13:23Your name is not Rick Yorn.
13:25Yeah, I'm doing really good.
13:28I'm confused with what you're asking me to do.
13:30Look, Rebs, try not to laugh.
13:32We have the local VIP.
13:34We have the golden VIP.
13:36The golden VIP cost $2,000.
13:40You want top of the range, don't you?
13:42We want top of the range.
13:43Constant access to Reese.
13:46Hello.
13:48Is that Reese's manager?
13:49Oh, Rav's taken over.
13:51It's like he's giving his dad the phone.
13:52Rick, my name's Rav Wilding.
13:54I actually work on a programme at the BBC called Scam Interceptors.
13:57And I want to know why you're pretending to be Rick Yorn
13:59and stealing people's money.
14:00Go on, go for it.
14:01Oh, here we go.
14:02Rav's on it now.
14:03Come on.
14:04Get him.
14:05Your name's not Rick.
14:06You're not a manager.
14:07You're nothing to do with an actor.
14:08You're stealing people's money.
14:09Why?
14:10Oh, Rav.
14:11Rav's getting a bit lemon, isn't he?
14:12Yeah.
14:13Because you aren't a manager.
14:14You're a mug.
14:14That's what you are.
14:16He's very forceful, isn't he?
14:18But the scammers aren't finished.
14:20What?
14:21Oh, my God.
14:22Here's Reese.
14:22I want to tell you that I'm the real Reese Witherspoon I know.
14:27There are a lot of imposters claiming to be.
14:30But I want to let you know I'm the real Reese Witherspoon.
14:35No, no.
14:36Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
14:38That's the Reese I know and love.
14:40The eyes, mate.
14:41Yeah.
14:41Hi.
14:43I'm Reese Witherspoon and I know that people impersonate me, but...
14:48Look at the eyes.
14:48They're everywhere, aren't they?
14:50It's like art.
14:50Wow.
14:51What about that?
14:52And they'll be doing that with not just Reese.
14:54You know, every celebrity you can think of.
14:56They're doing it about me.
14:57No, but, you know, A-lister ones.
15:01Well, there wouldn't be any takers for you, would there?
15:03Let's face it.
15:05Maybe the odd one.
15:07That'd be very odd.
15:10Enough London.
15:12The other day, I've been trying to, like, count calories.
15:15Bloody hell, you'll be there for ages counting yours.
15:18Rude.
15:19Good friends Max and George.
15:21Because I love, like, sauces.
15:23Mm.
15:24So I weighed out my tomato ketchup,
15:27and in one, just, like, how much I was going to use,
15:30and it was, like, 300 calories of tomato ketchup.
15:33How much tomato ketchup are you?
15:34300?
15:35300 calories.
15:36How much tomato ketchup are you putting in?
15:37A lot.
15:38I love tomato ketchup.
15:39I have tomato ketchup on anything.
15:41So, feasibly, if you just knocked tomato ketchup off of your diet...
15:45I'd be two-dimensional.
15:49Skinnyest man that I've ever lived.
15:51This week, one of the Queer Eye fellas was on his travels
15:55looking for hot spots on Disney+.
15:57The best of the world as a travel show...
16:00That's, like...
16:01..is a good idea.
16:01Yeah.
16:02I could do the worst of the world.
16:04I go to all of the worst places in the world.
16:06Yeah.
16:06Where's the best place you've ever been?
16:08Blackpool.
16:09Right.
16:09I love it.
16:10Been on the big one, have you?
16:11Yeah, loads.
16:12Loads?
16:13Yeah.
16:13I once sat next to the bloke who set the world record
16:16for how many times he's ridden the big one.
16:19Richard Rodriguez.
16:21Every year, National Geographic names its best of the world.
16:27Oh, I was going to ask who's decided what's the best,
16:29but it's National Geographic.
16:30National Geographic.
16:31They know what's up, to be fair.
16:33Now, they've given me the best job in the world.
16:36I just saw my reflection.
16:38I'm crushing it.
16:38Why does Billy Anthony get to go and do this?
16:40I know.
16:41I'd love to do this.
16:42Not only does he look like that,
16:43but he got a phone call from his agent where they said,
16:46National Geographic want to know if you want to go around
16:48and see the best things in the world.
16:50You wouldn't say no, would you?
16:51Nice work if you can get it, right?
16:54I'm Anthony Porofsky, and this is Best of the World.
16:59What is so special about him?
17:01Why didn't I get that?
17:02Yes, of course.
17:03Hi, hello.
17:04I'm Anthony.
17:05What's your name?
17:05There's probably stairs involved, Nigel.
17:08That would be why.
17:12Where is it?
17:13Hang on.
17:13I recognise that place.
17:15Hang on a sec.
17:15Follow the Thames East,
17:17and London gets a makeover in Canary Wharf.
17:20Jesus Christ, honestly,
17:22of all the places in the world we could be watching him,
17:25and he's starting at Canary Wharf.
17:27It's sleek money-making district.
17:29Think Wall Street, but on water.
17:31What's there?
17:33Offices.
17:33Offices and Pratt.
17:34Pratt.
17:35But hidden amongst the skyscrapers
17:37is something that'll boost your body.
17:39Has he gone swimming in the Thames?
17:41No.
17:42Is that in Canary Wharf?
17:43Yeah, you can go swimming in Canary Wharf.
17:44There's so many places in London you can go swimming.
17:47This one-of-a-kind urban oasis...
17:49Urban oasis!
17:51Have a day off, Anthony.
17:53One-of-a-kind urban oasis.
17:55Are you joking?
17:56It's an absolute cesspool.
17:58It's the perfect place for Londoners
18:00to escape the daily grind.
18:02In some of the purest water you'll find in the city.
18:06What?
18:06Okay, because it's pure for London doesn't mean it's pure.
18:09Yeah.
18:10Do you know what I mean?
18:11So you're like a swim club in the financial district?
18:14What is happening?
18:15He talks like that.
18:16Oh, my God.
18:17What is happening?
18:17Oh, my God.
18:18His mind has been blown, apparently,
18:20by seeing a bit of water.
18:23Francesca and her friends.
18:24All right, mate.
18:25Someone's been down to the gym.
18:27Yeah.
18:27This is what I wanted to go swim in.
18:31At a frosty 60 degrees Fahrenheit.
18:33Mate, look at the chest.
18:34If you...
18:35He's pretty jacked to be fair.
18:36Go on, mate.
18:36You can join us.
18:38He's not hanging around.
18:38A little bit of that.
18:39So we have the Dockman's Light Railway above us.
18:41There's a railway right above this.
18:44They're selling the DLR as if it's a cool thing to look at.
18:47Oh, look.
18:48If you do some backstroke,
18:49you can see a train go past at one point.
18:52Oh, my God.
18:53You've got people walking on foot.
18:55Shut the front door.
18:56People walking on foot.
18:58Cut off from the river and fed by a natural spring.
19:02Thankfully, these crystal clear waters don't come from the Thames.
19:06Oh, there we go.
19:06So it's not the Thames.
19:08What?
19:08I mean, it's just stunning.
19:10I can't get over it.
19:11I can't get over it.
19:13Try a bit harder.
19:15Londoners love their open water swimming.
19:18Do they?
19:19Do they?
19:20We don't.
19:21Why does he say that?
19:23I don't know.
19:23He never asked that.
19:24Generalisation.
19:27Oh, you did good.
19:29I think they're just clapping his body.
19:31Yeah, they are.
19:32I would.
19:32Oh.
19:35That was good.
19:37That was a really good swim.
19:43Which way to the changing room.
19:45If you want to try something that is truly off the beaten path, I think this is one of the
19:51best things you can do.
19:59It's like the last scene in Titanic.
20:08He's dying after this.
20:10Oh, bless him.
20:13Oh, more rifles.
20:15No, loosen your clothing, Nigel.
20:17I have just to make sure everything's tickety-boo there.
20:21The mid-season finale.
20:23We've got to watch it.
20:23Mid-season finale means...
20:26It doesn't make sense, does it?
20:28Mid-season.
20:29It means in the middle of the season finale.
20:32So, it's middle.
20:33Yeah.
20:34We'll just have to watch it to know what mid-season finale means.
20:42Rival?
20:42What's that?
20:43I can't remember.
20:43I can't remember what rivals is.
20:45But everybody says it's really saucy.
20:47Saucy?
20:48Yeah, like really raunchy.
20:50What, like...
20:51Loads of sex.
20:52At home with the Braithwaite?
20:53I don't know what that is.
20:55Oh, that used to be really raunchy.
20:56OK, are you sure you're a millennium?
21:02Hi.
21:03Bit blowy.
21:04So, this is the big bad house owned by the big bad man,
21:08Tony Baddingham, and that's his son.
21:10OK.
21:10His dad and her mum are having an affair.
21:13Her dad?
21:14No.
21:14His dad and her mum are having an affair.
21:21Do you know what this is?
21:22This is photography.
21:23The old days.
21:24Film photography.
21:25Yeah, I know.
21:28They used to do that at school, when it was at school.
21:31What?
21:32Photography?
21:33Yeah, because when you was naughty, you got to do photography.
21:37Archie, why do you have a naked photo of my mother?
21:42That is not a line.
21:43That is not a line anyone ever wants to hear, is it?
21:49Oh, my God.
21:50How are you taking them?
21:51I didn't know that was on my camera.
21:53I did not take those, I swear.
21:55Are you going to cover this one, Archie?
21:56His dad did.
21:57I borrowed my dad's new camera.
21:59Maybe they were at the start of the film.
22:01So his dad's been snapping her mum.
22:06Look, that's Tony!
22:08Oh, God, in the mirror!
22:09Oh, dear.
22:11Proof positive.
22:12Oh, no.
22:14This is a shit show.
22:15I'll go home and show this to my mum.
22:18Caitlin, don't do anything stupid.
22:19Oh.
22:21Hello, Caitlin.
22:22What are you doing here?
22:22Oh, what are those photos, Caitlin?
22:24Can I see those?
22:25She's helping me.
22:26Interesting.
22:27With a photography project.
22:29Oh.
22:30What are you taking photos of?
22:32You do not want to know.
22:34Yeah.
22:35Don't ask.
22:36What's that a picture of?
22:37Oh, no.
22:38It's not a picture.
22:40No.
22:40I'm running out of patience, Archie.
22:43Give it to me, Caitlin, please, before I telephone your mother.
22:46Don't want to do that.
22:47Oh.
22:49This gets worse.
22:50No.
22:52Don't show the picture of your mum's tits.
22:57Caitlin!
22:57Oh.
23:01Oh, no.
23:02Oh, it's just so humiliating.
23:05Oh, no, Monica.
23:05And she's so nice.
23:09So, is she just going to turn a blind eye?
23:11She always knows that Tony is cheating on her.
23:14Mm-hmm.
23:15But she doesn't know the specifics.
23:16Daddy will be home soon, I should think.
23:20Are you staying to supper, Caitlin?
23:22Wow.
23:23Oh, really?
23:23Just to let glaze over?
23:25No.
23:25Please don't stay for supper, Caitlin.
23:27How was your day?
23:28Marvellous.
23:29Tremendous to visit.
23:30I'm sure your father is too, Caitlin.
23:32She did?
23:33She stayed for dinner.
23:34And we have a terrific actress for the new show.
23:36A new series of Four Men Went to Mow.
23:38Oh, no, now he's talking a bit hard.
23:41I can't take it.
23:42It's a lot.
23:43Why is he such a dick?
23:45Maud O'Hara.
23:46Real star in the making, that one.
23:49Look.
23:50He's going to blow in here, Archie.
23:51Camera adores her.
23:52Tony.
23:53I mean it.
23:54She's a corker.
23:55No.
23:57Wow.
23:58Dig.
23:59Tony, mate, what are you doing?
24:00This is very uncomfortable.
24:03It's really good, isn't it?
24:04Far more out.
24:05For my sake, Mum.
24:07Here we go.
24:08Don't you care?
24:10Don't get annoyed with your mum.
24:11Don't you care?
24:12Of course she cares.
24:14It was your mother's idea to cast her in the first place.
24:17Oh, my God.
24:18Oh, gosh.
24:19Oh, no, this is so awkward.
24:21Yes, I don't think she meant for you to fuck her.
24:23Are you not going to say anything?
24:25Are you really just going to sit here and pretend that nothing's happened?
24:29Yeah.
24:30Yes, that's what I was going to do, actually.
24:32It was going quite well for me.
24:33Oh, don't take it out on your mum.
24:34Oh, no.
24:35What is wrong with you?
24:36I don't know why you're taking this out on me.
24:39Yeah, me neither.
24:40Now, Archie, there are things you don't understand.
24:43Your mother and I have a...
24:45I have an understanding.
24:46I get to war with other women.
24:48She just takes it.
24:49Darling.
24:52Where's she going?
24:53She's not jumping out the window, is she?
24:56Oh, she went through a door.
24:57What is she up in there?
24:57A vortex to another world?
24:59No, it looked like she'd been on a log flume.
25:02It did.
25:02And then she'd paid a couple of quid to dry off in one of those things.
25:11With it blowing a gale outside, Monica set off to drive Caitlyn home.
25:17A very emotional drive in a storm is not what I'm advocating for.
25:22And a bit later, we saw a worried search party on the hunt for Caitlyn,
25:26who'd never made it home.
25:30Something bad's going to happen.
25:31I can feel it.
25:32I can feel it in my bones.
25:35Who's that?
25:36Who's that?
25:39No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
25:45That's Caitlyn.
25:47Oh, no.
25:47They've been in an accident.
25:49Yeah, you can tell.
25:53Where's the why?
25:55Oh, my God.
26:03Don't upset yourself, Nigel.
26:05I'm not beginning on that head.
26:09What happened?
26:10How's it gone to that to the next morning?
26:12Come in.
26:13What do you want?
26:14Oh, no.
26:15Oh, my God.
26:16What?
26:16What?
26:17What?
26:18Monica, uh...
26:19She's not here.
26:20No.
26:21Um, what?
26:23What?
26:24Don't be sorry, Tony.
26:28We found her.
26:29She's alive.
26:32Monica's dead.
26:33Wow.
26:34I don't want Monica to be dead.
26:37Monica, my wife, Monica.
26:38Yeah.
26:39Oh, no, that makes me really sad.
26:40Oh, God.
26:41Did you just say she's dead?
26:43God, he really likes her.
26:45I'm totally sorry.
26:46I'm totally sorry.
26:54You see, he loves his wife.
26:56But he's just an idiot.
26:58Well, it's a weird program, that one.
26:59You know, I thought it was a comedy.
27:01Yeah.
27:01And, uh, it's one minute's top comedy, and that's, you know, Danny Dyer's ass.
27:06Danny Dyer's ass.
27:07And next minute, they...
27:08It's all falling trees and death.
27:11Yeah, I prefer Danny Dyer's ass or that.
27:14Mmm.
27:15Do you?
27:16Uh...
27:16Well, I'm not sure, though.
27:18No, I think I'd go with death before Danny Dyer's ass.
27:23Yeah, death by tree.
27:26In Kent.
27:27Where do I start?
27:28Protein on protein.
27:29If you just got all the chicken out, put it on a fork, gave it to me, I'd be in.
27:34Harry and Matt.
27:35Yeah, but look, there's a technique...
27:36I'm not willing to do the work.
27:37Look, just so you know, there's a technique to eating wings, yeah?
27:39I've got a flat wing here.
27:41Quick break.
27:42Yeah?
27:43Yeah.
27:43Slide in.
27:45Slide in.
27:46Yeah.
27:47Done.
27:48That actually was quite impressive.
27:52On Thursday night, we tuned into a documentary about dodgy donors on BBC Two.
27:57Swipe right for sperm.
28:01Yeah.
28:01I'm not sure about this, Joe.
28:03What is it?
28:04I don't know.
28:05Oh.
28:06Yeah, right.
28:08I've actually thought about donating sperm, but then I think, do my genetics need to be
28:13passed on?
28:14No.
28:15With fertility costs soaring, people are turning to social media to make a baby.
28:20What?
28:20What?
28:21That's mad.
28:22I've been offered 20,000 US dollars for a donation before.
28:26How much?
28:27I don't know.
28:28Get you.
28:28I didn't know there were that kind of money in it.
28:30What am I doing?
28:31I'm sitting on a gold mine here.
28:33I wouldn't sit on them.
28:34But with money to be made, are desperate families being put in harm's way?
28:39He's the donor.
28:41And I'm helping women achieve their dream.
28:45I mean...
28:48I don't know if my dream is to have a baby with that man.
28:54This might sound quite silly, but sometimes, because I'm a gay man, I forget that sperm makes
28:59children.
29:00Yeah.
29:01It's just not something that I think about a lot.
29:02He calls himself Joe Donor.
29:05Joe Donor?
29:08That's the name he's given himself?
29:09A self-styled international sperm donor.
29:13To be fair, he looks like a prolific sperm donor, doesn't he?
29:16What are his credentials for sperm donating?
29:20He's got to look like a big toe.
29:22I've had about 180 life births.
29:26Oh, my God.
29:27That man's got 180 children?
29:29He's like Genghis Khan.
29:31Why are people queuing up for his sperm in particular?
29:34He's been involved in a number of family court cases where judges have warned against his
29:39actions, saying he's a danger to women.
29:41Oh, no.
29:42He wants the parental rights.
29:44You know, people want to get pregnant, and the people who want to get pregnant get pregnant,
29:48and the people who want to be safe can be safe.
29:52Oh, he's creepy as hell.
29:54Imagine falling out, that's your dad.
29:57Joe Donor meets recipients in person, but he also offers a sperm delivery service.
30:03How does he now?
30:05Sorry, wait, hang on a second.
30:06How is the sperm being delivered?
30:08If you've never heard about next day sperm delivery before.
30:13Next day delivery.
30:14That is good.
30:15The way it works is I create the sample.
30:18Oh.
30:18Oh.
30:19Create the sample.
30:21Oh, we don't need...
30:21Oh, dry, mate.
30:23And I mix it with an extender to preserve it using a blunt color needle.
30:27Oh.
30:28In a mug?
30:30He hopefully puts that in the dishwasher.
30:32The UK's fertility regulator says anyone who stores, processes, or distributes sperm without
30:38a license is breaking the law.
30:40Oh.
30:41I'll be in trouble then.
30:43So I sent Joe an email.
30:45He didn't know it was from me, though.
30:46And we had a conversation.
30:48He didn't really ask any questions about me or who I was.
30:51He just said if I sent £100 in cash to him, he would pop a sample in the post.
30:57What?
30:58£100?
30:59£100?
30:59Ah, I don't want sperm if it's costing £100.
31:02Jesus.
31:03He sent this yesterday and it arrived this morning, but I'm no expert, so I'm going to
31:08take it to a fertility clinic in Bridgend to find out exactly what we have here.
31:11A bit of natural yogurt, I wouldn't wonder.
31:15You've been ripped off, madam, in your Alice band.
31:18So here's our package.
31:21Oh, it's well packaged, isn't it?
31:23Yeah, it is.
31:23It's packed it very, very well in there.
31:25So we do have what appears to be...
31:29What's that?
31:30What is that?
31:31What is it?
31:32It's a very cold tomato passata.
31:36OK.
31:37So I'm guessing you know that.
31:37Passata?
31:38No.
31:40He's using that as the ice pack.
31:41No, he's not.
31:42Yeah.
31:43He should put that on his website.
31:44Get sperm and some of your weekly shop.
31:47And we'll do a count on this sample.
31:50Million dollar question now.
31:51Here we go.
31:56Nothing swimming around, is there?
31:58I cannot see anything moving.
32:00Oh, have they passed away?
32:03I'm not surprised.
32:04It's been in a box of tomato passata for two days.
32:07What are you expecting from it?
32:09When we told Joe Donor that the sperm cells in his sample had not survived,
32:13he questioned how we'd stored and transported it.
32:16Oh, he's fuming.
32:18He's like...
32:18Did you make sure it was on the passata?
32:19Was it next to the passata?
32:22I'd be useless for this show.
32:23I've had a prosectomy, haven't I, so...
32:24You have?
32:26Look at that.
32:27Ballless.
32:27Like a new...
32:28No, I'm not actually...
32:30I've explained this to you about four times.
32:32They don't actually chop you.
32:33Like, they don't take anything off.
32:35I still have my testicles.
32:36Sorry.
32:36Well, I've not seen proof.
32:38So, how would I know?
32:44On Thursday, it was a new drama that had us gripped on Netflix.
32:48I like a little thriller.
32:50I hate it.
32:51I literally...
32:51He's only had you a seat.
32:52I want to be firmly in my seat.
32:54He's such an amazing author, Harlan Corbin.
32:56Have you read his books?
32:58Never read his books, but I've seen the TV adaptations.
33:01Some are assuming the books are just as good.
33:09Oh, always when it starts with a happy family and kids playing.
33:13Yeah.
33:13Something's going to go wrong.
33:14Right.
33:20Oh, that's the dad in prison?
33:22He's in prison.
33:24Unless that's the way they've decorated their house.
33:27My name is David Burrows.
33:29I'm currently serving the fifth year of a life sentence for killing my little boy.
33:33No.
33:34He killed his own son?
33:36The thing is...
33:37I didn't do it.
33:38I didn't do it.
33:40Then who did it?
33:42But, I mean, why do people think he did?
33:44Well, this will all become clear now, actually.
33:47Patience is a virtue.
33:48Yeah, yes, of course.
33:49I know you haven't got long to live.
33:55Let's go, Burrows.
33:57What's going on?
33:58You have a visitor.
34:00Oh.
34:00Who's visiting him, do you think?
34:01I don't know.
34:02Your sister-in-law, Rachel Mills.
34:04She's going to have some ground-breaking news to deliver.
34:07Yeah, she's got some goss.
34:08News to deliver.
34:09News, yeah, yeah, after five years.
34:15Oh, I love this.
34:17I know.
34:17I'd love to talk on the phone like that.
34:19Hopefully you don't have to visit somebody, though, under these conditions.
34:23It looks so cool, doesn't it?
34:25Why are you here?
34:26I need to show you something.
34:28What's she going to show him?
34:29I have this friend from college, Irene.
34:31She's married, two kids, the whole thing.
34:32Right.
34:33A couple weeks ago, she posted some photos online of a trip they took to Six Flags in Springfield.
34:38Including this one.
34:39What's that?
34:40Who's on that picture?
34:41It's crazy.
34:42You come all the way down here to show me a picture of your friend, Irene, and her kids.
34:45Look closer, David.
34:45Look in the background.
34:47Who's in the background?
34:48Don't tell me his kid's in the background.
34:50Don't.
34:51Don't.
34:51Tell me what you see.
34:54Look!
34:55That's his son!
34:56Oh, look.
34:57There's his kid.
34:57In the background.
34:59Not dead.
34:59Oh, my God.
35:00I've got cute ones.
35:02He...
35:03He looks like Matthew.
35:04I know.
35:05His son's not dead.
35:06He's been framed.
35:07Wow.
35:09So that's your whole setup.
35:10I like it.
35:11We're hooked, aren't we?
35:12We are.
35:16Oh, that's just the beginning.
35:18And this is going to have more twists and turns than a pretzel.
35:21Wow.
35:22Well, I want to know what's going on, wouldn't you?
35:24You want to know what?
35:26Yeah?
35:27What's going on?
35:28Yeah, what's going on?
35:31Well, it's obviously a mystery.
35:43No, he's in on it.
35:44No, look.
35:45There's a conspiracy against him.
35:47Also, there should be an apostrophe before the S because it's David Barrow has had a visitor.
35:51You are correct.
35:52It's bad grammar.
35:54I need to take you to the infirmary.
35:58The time is...
35:59It's time for you to do what I'm telling you to do.
36:00Mm-mm.
36:02This smells off.
36:03I wouldn't trust him.
36:05No.
36:11He's got a knife.
36:12Oh, he's going to kill him.
36:14I'm sorry, Barrow's.
36:18No!
36:19Ah!
36:21Jesus Christ.
36:23Brilliant.
36:24Brilliant.
36:25Fight.
36:26Fight.
36:27Help!
36:28Go, go, go, go, go, go!
36:30Run, Davey Burrows.
36:32Run!
36:33Help!
36:34Oh, no!
36:35Shit, shit, shit.
36:36Oh!
36:37No way out now, mate.
36:38Prisoner salute!
36:39Oh!
36:40Oh, fuck!
36:41Oh, my God.
36:44What?
36:45Oh.
36:47Well, if it's not one, it's the other.
36:49What the hell?
36:50Can this man's life get any worse?
36:52A bit later, we saw the warden give him Burrows a helping hand.
37:01Oh, who's that?
37:02Oh, I see.
37:03That's a friendly face, innit?
37:08Okay, so they're best friends.
37:10That's good.
37:10Hugging is good.
37:12Give him more hugs.
37:17That's how you know people are heterosexual.
37:19They tap between.
37:22We don't do that in the gay world.
37:24What do you do in the gay world?
37:27What are you doing here?
37:29It's not obvious.
37:30We're here to break you out.
37:32Woo!
37:33There's Oat!
37:33Break him out!
37:34You're going to break him out of prison?
37:35Naughty, naughty.
37:36There's going to be a prison break?
37:39You okay?
37:40Yeah.
37:41You're that excited.
37:47Oh, they've soft costumes.
37:50Ah, that old trick.
37:55Excuse me, water.
37:56Oh, no.
37:58Oh, shit.
38:00Oh, shit.
38:04He knows something fishy is going on here.
38:06Oh, my fucking God.
38:08Oh, my God.
38:09But Ned Flanders fuck off already.
38:10Innit?
38:11Burrows?
38:12I hate watching stuff like this.
38:14It's too much for me.
38:15This is...
38:15It's too much.
38:17Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
38:18Oh, no.
38:19Oh, oh, oh.
38:21God damn it.
38:22Burrows has taken the warden hostage.
38:23Lock the prison down right now.
38:25How dramatic.
38:26Yeah.
38:26Why didn't he just shoot that guy then?
38:28Well, because then he has committed a crime.
38:31Yeah.
38:31He has killed a man.
38:35But what's the bed?
38:36He smashes through a barrier.
38:38Oh, yes.
38:39Yes.
38:40I'm moving.
38:41Get out of the way.
38:42Get out of the way.
38:43Oh, here we go.
38:43He's got to pow straight into the...
38:45Yeah, yeah, yeah.
38:46Oh!
38:48Boom!
38:49Easy as that.
38:50Yeah.
38:51There we go.
38:54Do you know what?
38:55You do look at that and think,
38:56if they're that easy to drive through,
38:58what's the point of them?
38:59The warden's just escaped
39:00and the warden's become.
39:01I like the state police.
39:03God, that's good.
39:04It's really good.
39:05Your heart pumping.
39:06I'm so sucked in.
39:07I do want to break out of jail
39:08one day in my life, though.
39:10Do you?
39:10Yeah.
39:10What are you going to go down for?
39:13I'm going down for overacting.
39:15I'm going to be hard.
39:16I'll come quietly.
39:19In South London...
39:21You know the way I have terrible luck
39:23with posts getting robbed?
39:25Yeah.
39:25So I'm after buying a big box
39:28to put my posts in,
39:30like packages and stuff.
39:31Good friends Vogue and Joanne.
39:33Oh, that's clever.
39:34And I ordered it.
39:35Huge, big thing.
39:36It's the size of, like, a small man.
39:37It's the size of a 12-year-old child,
39:39I would say.
39:40I guess what happened to it?
39:41No.
39:43No.
39:43It got robbed.
39:46So it was delivered.
39:47I hadn't nailed it down yet.
39:49And they left it.
39:50So they just robbed a box?
39:51They just left it on the top
39:52and outside the door.
39:53It's crazy.
39:54How did they rob such a big box?
39:56They just lifted it and took it.
39:58Oh, my God.
39:59So the thing that was supposed
40:00to protect me from getting robbed
40:01got robbed.
40:04On Friday, BBC News blew the whistle
40:07as things kicked off stateside.
40:09I'll treat you to some water.
40:11Oh, lovely.
40:12With ice as well.
40:14That's like fine dining.
40:16Don't say I don't look after you.
40:19Get a bit of news in the world,
40:21and the dad used to say,
40:22see what's going on in the world.
40:23See what's going on in the world.
40:25Hello, and welcome to the news at one.
40:27Oh, a flare.
40:29I haven't seen a flare for a while.
40:30No.
40:31And it's a white flare.
40:32Now, after months of build-up,
40:34the 2026 World Cup is finally underway.
40:37It's coming home, mate.
40:38It's coming home.
40:40Finally.
40:41Hey, you can stop asking me
40:43when it's going to start now.
40:44Where is it even on?
40:45I think Canada.
40:47I feel like Canada.
40:48The only good thing about the World Cup
40:50is if England are doing well,
40:52everyone goes out drinking.
40:54Yeah.
40:54That's it.
40:55Sometimes they release, you know,
40:57Shakira might release a banger.
40:59That always gets me going.
41:00Shakira song this year.
41:01Shut up.
41:02Is it really?
41:02Yeah.
41:03I was joking.
41:04Is it for real?
41:04It's a Shakira song this year, yeah.
41:06Oh, my God.
41:07Meanwhile, Scotland fans have descended in Boston
41:10in force ahead of their match against Haiti.
41:13Here you go.
41:14Yay!
41:15Here you go.
41:16That's an army.
41:18Scotland's in us.
41:19Is us?
41:19Yeah, Scotland's in the World Cup.
41:20I'm in.
41:21A musical twist on the American national anthem.
41:24The piper flown in from Tain
41:26to marshal the World Cup build-up
41:27at Boston's only Scottish pub.
41:31Look at that.
41:32I did love Braveheart, though.
41:34I just can't imagine being that proud of where you're from.
41:39As the hours tick down
41:41towards Scotland kicking off against Haiti,
41:43Boston is feeling increasingly tartan.
41:46Or, as they now call it, West Scotland.
41:49They're living the dream.
41:50Look at them.
41:51I love it.
41:52I love everyone in the streets doing it.
41:54Everyone, like, forgets about their responsibilities.
41:56I love the community of it,
41:58of singing a song like that in the street for no reason.
42:01I love it.
42:02Look how happy everyone is.
42:03Yes!
42:04The working estimate for the number of travelling Scotland fans
42:08is 20,000 to 30,000.
42:10Oh, that's a lot, isn't it?
42:11It's the bleeding country.
42:13Oh, my God, that plane must have been so fun on the way there.
42:17Can you imagine?
42:18Can you imagine if you weren't travelling?
42:20If you weren't travelling for the World Cup.
42:22Yeah.
42:23Going for a job interview.
42:25Oh, God.
42:25You're still like a ween at Christmas.
42:27Honestly, it's just the buzz you get.
42:29And it all just floods back.
42:31I love the idea of being that into something, though,
42:33and kind of having a passion for it, you know?
42:35Yeah.
42:35That's where I feel about, like, brunch.
42:37Oh.
42:38Bless them.
42:39That's so lovely.
42:40I can't...
42:41I can't think of anything that I would give that much of a shit about.
42:44Maybe if, like, the Spice Girls...
42:46Have a voyage if they did a sequel.
42:47Oh, my God, 100%.
42:48Have a voyage, too.
42:49100%, George.
42:50You've hit the nail on the head there.
42:51What won't change is that when the time comes to go home,
42:54whenever that is,
42:55the football will have put them through the emotional wringer.
42:58Is that the real World Cup?
42:59No, it's a replica.
43:01Imagine.
43:01They wouldn't give it to a bunch of pissed-up Scottish fans in a pub.
43:04Don't break it, guys.
43:06Did you get on with the Scottish?
43:08Not in the slightest.
43:09Hated every bit of me.
43:11Yeah.
43:11Which is understandable.
43:13Yeah.
43:13As was the case with most nations.
43:15Yes, I think so.
43:16And people.
43:17Good luck to them, though.
43:18All the best.
43:21Good luck to you.
43:21Good luck to you.
43:21Good luck to you.
43:21Good luck to you.
43:21Good luck to you.