- 4 hours ago
Make That S01E04-6
Category
ðĨ
Short filmTranscript
00:00:01Hi, my name's Ewing. I like drawing and showing up for the boys.
00:00:06Cut me and I bleed girlsfields United. Never miss a game.
00:00:10Come on the geese, come on the geese, come on the geese, come on the geese!
00:00:15What's the score boys?
00:00:17Ewing, the scoreboard's right there.
00:00:22Technically, they've lost all their games this season.
00:00:24But I'll never give up on the lads.
00:00:27This is the guy's pleading with the ref.
00:00:33This, this is the euglet.
00:00:36He's got magical powers.
00:00:38He's taken a vow to help anyone in their time of need.
00:00:42What if the euglet teamed up with girlsfields United and helped them to win their first football game?
00:00:48Now that is a movie I'd love to see.
00:00:52This is what I love about this country.
00:00:54The devotion.
00:00:55The spirit.
00:00:56England's green and pleasant pastures.
00:00:59This is more than just a feel-good sports movie with a sprinkling of fantasy.
00:01:02This is a boy's wish.
00:01:04We can't let anything stand in our way.
00:01:09I can't beat it.
00:01:09Enough of good frick dance!uage
00:01:11new change! automatical
00:01:12regime. Flash sub.
00:01:20Leave abie.
00:01:22Take this out for
00:01:22the hunting of theamiders again. Face over.e
00:01:26us. Leave a alimentation.
00:01:28Papa! Leave the crowd.
00:01:30That's
00:01:31my fault, boss!
00:01:33Take my teeth to merOOOO.
00:01:43I couldn't wait to meet Ewan and find out more about his little green character.
00:01:47We cruised into Gernsfield to catch up with the man of the match himself.
00:01:51Congratulations, Mr O'Donoghue.
00:01:52What are your thoughts on today's selection?
00:01:56He's real.
00:01:57Oh my God, he's real.
00:01:59You must be riding high after today's fantastic result.
00:02:02Do you have anything to say to the fans at home?
00:02:04Oh my God, you're going to make my movie!
00:02:06Well, there you have it.
00:02:07The penny is dropped and the gaffer is speechless.
00:02:10At the end of the day, he's playing a real blind a great vision from the lad himself.
00:02:14Can I do one?
00:02:16Have you got one prepared?
00:02:18Yeah.
00:02:22Sorry, mate.
00:02:23I don't think we've got time.
00:02:25It's my moment, mate.
00:02:27Hmm?
00:02:30I can't wait to tell the lads about this tomorrow at training.
00:02:33Oh, you're going, what, to training as well?
00:02:36Yeah, training's just a code before kick-off, really.
00:02:38You know, they chat about cat kicks, I guess.
00:02:41And I get a goat's house raise here.
00:02:42Oh, um, are your parents around?
00:02:44We just have a few forms we'd like them to sign.
00:02:47My parents?
00:02:48No, they're in Devin.
00:02:49That's right.
00:02:50Give it here, I'll sign it.
00:02:52You know, it's nice to see a bit of paper.
00:02:55Everything's gone all digital, innit?
00:02:57I'll grab a pen.
00:03:02Devin?
00:03:03Goodness me.
00:03:04I'm dying to know more about this little Yug-Yug fella.
00:03:07He's quite charming.
00:03:08Really, he is.
00:03:09It's pronounced Yugletch.
00:03:11I'm sorry, it's just that I'm a big fan.
00:03:13I'm still surprised you got the rights.
00:03:15Honsworth is a real bulldog.
00:03:18Hold up, what's happening?
00:03:20What right?
00:03:22Houston, we have a pen.
00:03:26Uh-oh.
00:03:27Slide oversight here.
00:03:28It turns out that the Yuglet is actually a quite well-known existing English children's book character,
00:03:33created by Sir B.B.B. Honsworth.
00:03:36The Yuglet was voted the third best Briton of all time,
00:03:38has a chain of department stores,
00:03:41two airports named in his honour,
00:03:42and he can be found on the back of every ten pence coin.
00:03:45Suffice to say,
00:03:47Jess had somehow failed to include the Yuglet
00:03:49in my official dossier on the British way of life.
00:03:53I thought he got everything.
00:03:58I hope one day I can forgive him.
00:04:01How can I bring together the people of the Empire
00:04:03if I'm totally ignorant of their beautiful culture?
00:04:06Sam, he's like a national treasure.
00:04:07We had to memorise the books at school.
00:04:09There's 50 of them.
00:04:10I mean, this fella's got a reasonable selection,
00:04:13but he's missing all the classics.
00:04:15The Yuglet takes Rhodesia.
00:04:17Rhodesia?
00:04:17Yeah, that one got me through my divorce.
00:04:19Have you been living under a fucking rock?
00:04:21That's a pretty serious allegation.
00:04:23Man, the Yuglet seems like he has a lot of wisdom.
00:04:26I wish we had him in Australia,
00:04:27instead of Melanie Pelican.
00:04:30Melanie, have you been out in the sun again?
00:04:32God, you are riddled with melanomas.
00:04:36Don't forget to wear sunscreens, kids!
00:04:39Poppins give me the willies.
00:04:41Look, we can just make the movie anyway.
00:04:42We'll just say he's a different kind of gnome.
00:04:44He's a forest friend.
00:04:47Last of the noble order of the elderflower hog imps.
00:04:50Last of his kind.
00:04:52Nice.
00:04:53Is that a serious suggestion?
00:04:55This is BBB Hunsworth.
00:04:57He's going to knock off a mile away.
00:04:58Do you want him to send him the suits?
00:05:00I can't be dealing with the suits.
00:05:02It felt like Ewan's dream was just out of reach.
00:05:06We'd need a miracle to get the rights.
00:05:10Thankfully, I'm in the miracle business.
00:05:12We tracked down BBB Hunsworth
00:05:14at his unlisted country estate.
00:05:18I mean, we should cut our losses.
00:05:20Sam, he hates visitors, like hates them.
00:05:23You know, he's not been seen in public
00:05:25since he tried to filibuster the Good Friday Agreement.
00:05:27Listen, I made a promise to that sweet Ewan.
00:05:30Not just to him,
00:05:31but to these British Isles.
00:05:33We all call home.
00:05:36Winnie, don't vomit.
00:05:37Do we have some kitchen roll?
00:05:39Sorry.
00:05:40It's just pre-Huldworth's nose.
00:05:42The man is a god to me.
00:05:44I'll be alright once I'm inside.
00:05:46Inside his house.
00:05:47Jesus.
00:05:48His actual house.
00:05:53Sorry.
00:05:54If only we had some sheets of kitchen roll.
00:05:57Winnie, maybe you should set this one out.
00:05:59I'll look after him.
00:06:00No!
00:06:01Winnie, you've twice vomited.
00:06:03What if you freak out and get a stiffy?
00:06:04You can't take this away from me, no!
00:06:06Wait outside.
00:06:08Sam!
00:06:09With the only British-born members of the crew recovering outside,
00:06:12we'd have to work hard to assimilate.
00:06:14It was a privilege
00:06:15to see a traditional dipping ceremony up close.
00:06:26I found your email to be morbidly offensive.
00:06:30I'm simply not in the business of prostituting out my beloved Youglet
00:06:33to every Tom, Dick and Harry who wants to make a motion picture.
00:06:37Not after what happened last time.
00:06:39We're trying to grow up.
00:06:41Well...
00:06:42Oh, yes.
00:06:43This is not my first rude-io,
00:06:45as those fat Americans say.
00:06:47Thank the Lord we stopped that abomination.
00:06:50Can you believe they put my sweet,
00:06:51nubile Youglet
00:06:52in a baseball cap?
00:06:56Lucky bastards.
00:06:58Oh, what are we doing?
00:06:59Let's get in there, Pat.
00:07:01He can't see me.
00:07:02What?
00:07:03Didn't want to say anything,
00:07:05but I've got a bit of a history.
00:07:07With Hunsworth.
00:07:09Back when I was running game with my Uncle Pat.
00:07:11Your uncle's called Pat as well?
00:07:14Everyone in my family is.
00:07:16We slightly borrowed the Youglet's branding
00:07:18for a business venture.
00:07:24You silly bitch!
00:07:26I had tickets for that.
00:07:28Totally ruined my 19th.
00:07:30These flash-new characters
00:07:32with their blue hair
00:07:34and bisexual tofu.
00:07:37That's not who we are.
00:07:40The Youglet is an Englishman.
00:07:42As English as fish and chips.
00:07:44Siggy and a Brompton.
00:07:46A thousand years on the West End.
00:07:47Yes, but...
00:07:48Of course, Johnny Foreigner doesn't get that.
00:07:51In truth,
00:07:53the only way that I would green-light
00:07:54a Youglet picture
00:07:55is if I knew it was going to be done properly,
00:07:58faithful to the source material,
00:08:00and with an entirely British crew,
00:08:03on screen and behind the camera.
00:08:08Oh, I simply couldn't have put it better myself,
00:08:12my lordship.
00:08:15That's exactly...
00:08:16That's exactly right.
00:08:18To be fair,
00:08:19I'm not being funny.
00:08:20You alright, love?
00:08:22Probably just having our in,
00:08:23actually.
00:08:25Love Stonehenge.
00:08:26Born and raised Stonehenge,
00:08:28myself, cafe culture.
00:08:29Absolutely bonkers,
00:08:31oi oi.
00:08:33Don't mind if I use the toilet
00:08:34on the way out.
00:08:37Love to have a go
00:08:38with the bloody toilet.
00:08:50I had no idea.
00:08:52Fellow countrymen.
00:08:56My darlings.
00:08:58Winnie,
00:08:59you weren't wrong.
00:09:00Hunsworth is a true gentleman
00:09:01of the Crumpington Order.
00:09:03His entrustings
00:09:05shall not be in vain.
00:09:06Don't tell me that.
00:09:07At least lie about him.
00:09:08What do you want about?
00:09:09He said yes.
00:09:10You got the rights.
00:09:10We got the rights.
00:09:11I just got my first kiss,
00:09:13right off top.
00:09:14A kiss
00:09:15from Hornsworth.
00:09:17That's it.
00:09:19Let's get back in there.
00:09:20Let's get back in there.
00:09:21Winnie, no.
00:09:22Winnie, no.
00:09:23With Hornsworth's blessing,
00:09:25nothing could stop us
00:09:26from bringing the euglet
00:09:27to the big screen.
00:09:29Now enough classic banter.
00:09:30Time for some footy.
00:09:42Be careful,
00:09:43he's an old dog.
00:09:44What's for lunch then?
00:09:45I'm rather peckish for lunch.
00:09:47Oh, I got sushi.
00:09:49No, no, ditch that.
00:09:50Roast dinner's all round.
00:09:51It's got to be.
00:09:54He lives.
00:09:56Be euglet.
00:09:57Make it go, Sebastian.
00:09:59Fire it up.
00:10:02Sam, I'm a little uneasy about this.
00:10:04Sebastian, you're always going on
00:10:05about puppets.
00:10:06You love puppetry.
00:10:07We may have got our wires crossed
00:10:09a little bit.
00:10:09They are my main phobia
00:10:11of the 12 major phobias.
00:10:14It's for you, Cliff.
00:10:16Wow.
00:10:17Can you speak?
00:10:18Make him, um,
00:10:19make him say my name.
00:10:21Say his name.
00:10:22Say my name.
00:10:23Say my name.
00:10:24Just say it.
00:10:25Right now.
00:10:26Say it.
00:10:27You will say his name.
00:10:28You will say my name.
00:10:29Say his name.
00:10:30Say my name.
00:10:31Now.
00:10:37I love you, Ewan.
00:10:41Oh, fuck.
00:10:42That is good.
00:10:44All right, lads.
00:10:45Let's get you into makeup, huh?
00:10:46Can you put a spell on me?
00:10:47Can you fly?
00:10:48All right, fella.
00:10:49My turn.
00:10:50Bring it in, bring it in.
00:10:59Oh.
00:11:02Wimney.
00:11:03Oh.
00:11:13What can I get for you, Missy?
00:11:14Jog on.
00:11:15Oh, that's no way to say hello to your uncle, is it?
00:11:19Enjoyed your article.
00:11:21Always good to see a pat in the paper.
00:11:23You got the keys to the kingdom.
00:11:25The euklet is ours at last.
00:11:27We're back in business.
00:11:28I don't work for you anymore, Pat.
00:11:29I've gone legit.
00:11:30Who's doing your merch?
00:11:32Knocked up a few samples, I have.
00:11:34Aye.
00:11:34Aye.
00:11:35Ha.
00:11:36Let's collab, Pat.
00:11:37I'd have to check the call sheet.
00:11:40I'm not sure we need a two-bit con man who smells like a puddle.
00:11:44You know, I didn't have the time of my life in prison.
00:11:46But they never caught you, though, did they?
00:11:48Funny, that.
00:11:50Pat, where you at?
00:11:52Sorry, that's my boss.
00:11:55The dog drank a body tits.
00:11:57Is that bad?
00:11:58Change your mind.
00:11:59No!
00:11:59Change your mind.
00:12:00Come here!
00:12:01Change your mind!
00:12:02Shut up!
00:12:02Change your mind!
00:12:03Change your mind!
00:12:04Hey, cheeky.
00:12:06I know what you're thinking.
00:12:07You want an ice cream, don't you?
00:12:09I'll get you one.
00:12:09What do you want?
00:12:10Nah.
00:12:11You know what?
00:12:12Saving myself for this roast.
00:12:16He would probably have been repulsed by me.
00:12:19Another creepy yug head drooling all over him.
00:12:23Oh, you couldn't be more wrong, sir.
00:12:28Mr. Honsworth would be proud to call you a forest friend.
00:12:32Oh, you see me.
00:12:35What kind of kid doesn't want an ice cream?
00:12:39Excuse me, this is private.
00:12:51There you are.
00:12:57That's different.
00:13:17What is that?
00:13:19Is that a dog?
00:13:23His name's the euclid.
00:13:25He wants to help us.
00:13:26Mate, we've got a massive match this month.
00:13:34I think I just found that secret weapon.
00:13:37He's got abilities.
00:14:01I'd like to incorporate a new tactic.
00:14:06Kindness.
00:14:07If the midfielders could just employ a gentle...
00:14:12Sebastian, I can see your mouth moving.
00:14:14It looks fake.
00:14:15Yeah, but I'm not even on screen.
00:14:17You're still doing it.
00:14:19What's the issue?
00:14:20I'm not on camera.
00:14:22Just don't move your mouth when you talk.
00:14:24I think ventriloquism continues to master.
00:14:27They should really teach it in schools.
00:14:31Nathan, is it?
00:14:33Quick word?
00:14:36Nobody likes when footballers get political, yeah?
00:14:39Sure.
00:14:40Excuse me!
00:14:42The suits?
00:14:44I can't be dealing with the suits.
00:14:47Sam Campbell?
00:14:48Yeah?
00:14:49You are in breach of copyright law.
00:14:52No, no.
00:14:52There's been a mistake.
00:14:53We had an agreement with Mr. Honsworth.
00:14:55Mr. Honsworth embraced us.
00:14:57A kiss on the top of the head isn't legally binding.
00:15:00Top of the head?
00:15:01Our client is not of sound mind.
00:15:02He couldn't give you the rights even if he wanted to.
00:15:05They belong to the board of trustees.
00:15:07Mr. Honsworth only has permission to appear next to the character
00:15:09in his commercials for prescription strength deodorant.
00:15:13In fact, there are grounds to file a lawsuit against Hugh
00:15:16for mental distress to our client.
00:15:18No comment.
00:15:19I know my rights.
00:15:20My client doesn't have to say anything
00:15:22without also getting to wear a nice suit.
00:15:43I ask that we may call a ploughman's truce.
00:15:46We stand together as brothers.
00:15:50May the sun never set.
00:15:54And, uh...
00:15:55Meaningless.
00:15:56You have blatantly stolen our client's intellectual property.
00:15:59And that thing will need to be incinerated.
00:16:01Sebastian?
00:16:02Please, professional lawyers.
00:16:03This is all I have.
00:16:05I can't go back to my human form.
00:16:07When are we filming the penalty suit now?
00:16:09Hey?
00:16:10Not Meg.
00:16:11Go on.
00:16:12Tell him.
00:16:13Look this innocent child in the eye.
00:16:15And tell him his movie can't happen
00:16:17because we didn't get a certificate.
00:16:19Whatever it is.
00:16:21Child?
00:16:22What are you all about?
00:16:23Don't cry, Ewan.
00:16:25Don't let these bastards see you cry.
00:16:28I'm faulty.
00:16:30I'm faulty years old.
00:16:34Pins?
00:16:35No, I'm Gavin.
00:16:37Gavin?
00:16:38Fuck!
00:16:40I'm saving myself for this roast.
00:16:44I'm faulty years old.
00:16:45I'm faulty years old.
00:16:49Oh dear.
00:16:50You're 40?
00:16:51Why do you love the ooglet so much?
00:16:53You really are very thick.
00:16:55Do your research, mate.
00:16:56Everyone loves the ooglet.
00:16:57Oh, that's right.
00:16:59He's an institution.
00:17:00Come along now, Mr. Hornsworth.
00:17:02Please, if you would, could you sign for an old fan?
00:17:07Oh, Christ.
00:17:08Go on, if you're quick.
00:17:10Oh, this young whippersnapper has dug up an old classic.
00:17:12The ooglet's fingers of pygmy.
00:17:15Oh, that was a fun one.
00:17:17Um, where did you get these?
00:17:20Oh, I've had most of these since I was knee-high to a grasshopper.
00:17:23I've got the entire collection.
00:17:25The entire collection?
00:17:27Yes.
00:17:28Turns out a few of the old books had some pretty dicey titles, along with some rather troubling
00:17:33inscriptions.
00:17:34I agreed to hand over Winnie's box of evidence in exchange for the rights to the ooglet and
00:17:3812 cases of the prescription-strength deodorant for a friend.
00:17:42Ewan made me realise football isn't about what happens on the pitch.
00:17:46It's about everyone in the terraces supporting their team.
00:17:49I sacked the players and started over.
00:17:52This one is for the fans.
00:18:04No extrusion.
00:18:06Big game on Sunday, so we thought we might pay a little visit to the ref.
00:18:12Ever since the ooglet took over the firm, we've been a bit more hands-on with our schools.
00:18:22There he is!
00:18:25Football!
00:18:26Yeah!
00:18:29Shame we had to ditch the Greenfield boys.
00:18:31Jess, you still have so much to learn.
00:18:33Those guys are bored losers.
00:18:35They'll never be legendary footballers.
00:18:37Like Messi?
00:18:39Or Ronaldo?
00:18:41Ah, looks like you were a bit quick to judge your Uncle Pat-Pat.
00:18:44Winnie, that man lives by the code of the fairground.
00:18:49Sam must have given him something.
00:18:55Hey.
00:18:56The Geeks have earned a well-deserved order.
00:18:59There will be celebrations in Gernsville tonight.
00:19:02That'll be ÂĢ6.50, please, mate.
00:19:13I didn't realise these pints were for the ooglet.
00:19:16These are on the house.
00:19:40Oh!
00:19:41Okay.
00:19:42Oh, Britannia!
00:19:43Supercandles white
00:19:46Creatures never, ever, ever, shall be night
00:19:53More suit!
00:19:54What now?
00:19:56Sam Campbell
00:19:57Hello
00:19:57We've seen what you've done
00:20:02We're from the Home Office
00:20:03We would like to offer you full British citizenship
00:20:10I accept this honor
00:20:12Everything I do is to further the British cause
00:20:20Move Britannia
00:20:22Britannia rule the ways
00:20:25Britain, ever, ever, ever, shall be night
00:20:38Look, Dad, it's the Uglot
00:20:40Hello, Dad
00:20:42Hello, boy
00:20:43Are you ready to eat some nice ice cream?
00:20:46Aye!
00:20:46I can still see your fucking lips moving, mate
00:20:48It looks fake!
00:20:51Pardon me
00:20:53My name is Kabir
00:20:54I'm a chauffeur with 65,000 miles on the clock
00:20:59I am discreet
00:21:02The man I help is Mr. Abin Archer
00:21:05If I can choose anybody whose my job is to drive, I will choose him
00:21:10Good morning, Kabir
00:21:12Good morning, Mr. Abin Archer
00:21:21He is such a great man, he never raises his boys and he never throws his food out of the
00:21:27window
00:21:30Lately, Mr. Abin Archer is recovering from medical experience heart attack
00:21:36I asked them if they could cut my heart out, give it to him, but this was not allowed
00:21:42His doctor tells him he must slow down
00:21:46Please create a movie about Mr. Abin Archer's amazing life story
00:21:51You would be making a humble driver and a private equity fund manager very happy indeed
00:22:01What a heartwarming person
00:22:02Gee, it's not often you see somebody who admires their boss so much they want to make a movie for
00:22:06them
00:22:06I don't trust him
00:22:08What? He's as cute as a peach pie
00:22:11No, old money bags
00:22:13Rich people give me the cribs
00:22:38Shock, shock, shock, shock, shock
00:22:41Kick Holpic!
00:22:51With Mr. Abin Archer away for the week on business
00:22:54We decided to surprise Kabir with a luxury drive in a limousine
00:22:58This time, he'll be travelling in the back of the car
00:23:08Treat yourself to some nibbles.
00:23:12Take off your gloves.
00:23:13Oh, no, no, no, never.
00:23:16Fascinating to see how the other half live.
00:23:19Alright for some, hey.
00:23:20Your parents own a Fortune 500 company.
00:23:25So give us the lowdown on Mr. Eblen Archer.
00:23:28He's a great man.
00:23:29He even let me drive Uber over the weekend.
00:23:32Great boss.
00:23:33I suppose we're similar in that way.
00:23:35I'm always encouraging my crew to work on their own personal projects.
00:23:41Give us everything.
00:23:42What are his hobbies?
00:23:43Oh, I couldn't possibly tell you that.
00:23:45It's a need to know basis.
00:23:47I would like to know.
00:23:48We're trying to tell his life story.
00:23:51What about, um, what's Mr. Eblen Archer's first name?
00:23:55Stop.
00:23:56That's confidential information.
00:23:58He's a very private person.
00:23:59You don't have to protect him, Kabir.
00:24:02It's obvious he's in the new world order.
00:24:07Really?
00:24:09It's disgusting.
00:24:10They all have these symbols.
00:24:11One of them wears a mask.
00:24:13There was a YouTube video about it.
00:24:15But it got taken down.
00:24:16Who took it down?
00:24:17Nobody knows.
00:24:19So they meet up.
00:24:20They meet up.
00:24:21I really like this angle.
00:24:22This is good.
00:24:23It's juicy.
00:24:24They get undressed.
00:24:25And they piss everywhere.
00:24:27No.
00:24:28And they lie down really, really close to the piss.
00:24:31And they close their eyes.
00:24:33And they start rubbing each other's lumps.
00:24:35And then they stir.
00:24:36They stir.
00:24:37They stir.
00:24:38And then they move.
00:24:39And there's a tube.
00:24:40And it makes some of the piss black.
00:24:44I'm sorry.
00:24:45I thought I was telling you about it.
00:24:47Yeah, yeah.
00:24:47That's what I mean.
00:24:48Because they don't want us to know.
00:24:51It's a bit far-fetched to me.
00:24:52I think you might have gone down to a YouTube rabbit hole.
00:24:55Your parents are probably involved.
00:24:57Yeah, I bet they eat raw meat out of each other's arseholes.
00:25:01Sebastian, that is disgusting.
00:25:02There's no evidence of that.
00:25:04Some poshios took me to a nightclub once.
00:25:07I went to the toilet.
00:25:09And you won't believe it.
00:25:11Up on the wall.
00:25:12A condom machine.
00:25:14I bet your boss is knee deep in all sorts of sordid clubs.
00:25:18I mean, he owned the wolf club.
00:25:25But I get in what I said.
00:25:27With a little persuasion, Kabir led us to Mr. Ebonatra's fortress of perversion.
00:25:32While I infiltrated the inner sanctum, Jess was fixating on an offhand comment.
00:25:36How cool is it that Sam wants us to work on our own stuff?
00:25:39Oh, he's so compassionate.
00:25:41Why can't you just give us a pay rise?
00:25:44You get paid?
00:25:47Not until February next year, that's right.
00:25:49Uh-huh, okay.
00:25:50All right then, goodbye.
00:25:53And what do we have here?
00:25:55A symbol.
00:25:55A floor swastika.
00:25:57A clue.
00:25:58Come here.
00:25:58What's all this?
00:26:00Relax.
00:26:00We just need to film an expose about Mr. Ebonatra.
00:26:03An expose about Mr. Ebonatra?
00:26:05I'm sorry.
00:26:06I meant to say a charming biopic about Mr. Ebonatra.
00:26:09Mr. Ebonatra hasn't notified us of any film crews.
00:26:12We do surprises.
00:26:13Well, the club is members only.
00:26:16If that isn't proof of disgusting scrotum-based pedophile rituals, I'm not sure what is.
00:26:22We shall become members.
00:26:24That would involve a rather substantial fee.
00:26:26Never you mind.
00:26:28The fee is something we can certainly provide.
00:26:34One moment.
00:26:38I'm thinking I'm going to show him Eleanor's Bird Bath.
00:26:42I wonder, do you think maybe he'd give me feedback on it?
00:26:46Who the fuck is Eleanor Bird Bath?
00:26:52My short film, Eleanor's Bird Bath.
00:26:57You guys said you'd read it.
00:27:06Now's your chance.
00:27:09Where's Sebastian?
00:27:11As per usual, Sebastian had wandered off and been hit in the face by a golf ball.
00:27:15Sorry!
00:27:16I shouted it into Moe, but he just stood there.
00:27:20How long was I out for?
00:27:22Did you finish the movie?
00:27:24Was it fun?
00:27:25Sebastian, we've just arrived.
00:27:27We've only been here ten minutes.
00:27:28Oh, neat.
00:27:29In that case, I was thinking maybe I could try and be the director this week.
00:27:33The director?
00:27:34Yeah, what do you say?
00:27:35I think I'm ready to step up.
00:27:37What an intriguing concept.
00:27:39Ooh, I do worry it might be difficult to insure you now that you've got a brain injury.
00:27:45What about...
00:27:50Smoke...smoke machine?
00:27:52Mmm, smoke machine.
00:27:54It's a pretty important job.
00:27:55No, it's not.
00:27:56I want to sit in the nice chair.
00:27:57I need your dad's credit card.
00:28:03What happened to your wallet?
00:28:04You've got to stop keeping it loose.
00:28:06Oh, loosey-goosey.
00:28:09Your additional donation is very generous.
00:28:12It is our policy to conduct a background check.
00:28:14No problem.
00:28:17Very nice.
00:28:18We want all access here.
00:28:20All the secret entrances.
00:28:21Well, I'm happy for you to film everywhere except the function room.
00:28:24We're setting up for our big corporate weekender.
00:28:26Eh?
00:28:27Every year we honour our top performing executives.
00:28:29So you're telling me this place will be swarming with epstillions?
00:28:33Ep-stillions?
00:28:34Half Epstein, half Reptilian.
00:28:36No, I'm not saying that.
00:28:38Why not?
00:28:38What?
00:28:40Pretty interesting article.
00:28:42Yes.
00:28:43He almost hit the hole in one.
00:28:45Hmm.
00:28:47Who's that?
00:28:48Bert.
00:28:50Bert?
00:28:51His father done everything for him.
00:28:54He is a disgraceful, shameful Bert.
00:28:58And who's that?
00:29:01Cartoon.
00:29:02Hey, I've been meaning to ask.
00:29:04You know how before in the limo...
00:29:06Oh my God.
00:29:07When he was stuffing his face?
00:29:09That was hard to watch.
00:29:13We've got to be so careful.
00:29:14I'm worried if any of these global elites even see him, they'll lose their sexual appetites
00:29:19entirely.
00:29:21I meant the personal project.
00:29:22I mean, he's not traditionally fugly.
00:29:24He's a bit of a mood killer.
00:29:25I could try covering him with a blanket.
00:29:29Jess.
00:29:30Brilliant.
00:29:33To expose the evil underbelly of the golf club, we needed to go deep undercover.
00:29:38G'day.
00:29:39Not sure we've been introduced.
00:29:41I'm Baby Murdoch.
00:29:43Bit of a billionaire, if I may say so myself.
00:29:47May I offer you an oyster, son?
00:29:51No, thank you.
00:29:53That's very kind.
00:29:55This is my butler, Smidgen.
00:29:57Well done, Smidgen.
00:29:59Lovely to meet you.
00:30:00I take it you're here for the ceremony.
00:30:02What ceremony?
00:30:04Hey!
00:30:04My nanny, Miss Thwicket.
00:30:06The highest performing CEO awards?
00:30:09Always a bit dry, aren't they?
00:30:12Yeah.
00:30:13Might duck my head in.
00:30:14Listen.
00:30:15Just between you and I, I'm desperate to unwind.
00:30:18My fifth wife!
00:30:20She's a real ball buster!
00:30:24Yes.
00:30:25I'm his wife, Daniela Rochella Sinclair.
00:30:28And I hope you don't mind, but I slept my way to the top.
00:30:32And that's just a blanket, I'm pretty sure.
00:30:37The bloke who runs this place?
00:30:39Eblen Archer.
00:30:40Do you know him?
00:30:40What's he into?
00:30:41Does he like smearing?
00:30:43Injecting things up his gooch hole?
00:30:45No, it's not like that.
00:30:47It's more sacrifices, demon meetups, long wavy knives.
00:30:51Ahem!
00:30:51Miss Thwicket!
00:30:53Governor.
00:30:54He mostly keeps to himself.
00:30:57Andrew, do you know if Eblen Archer's into anything spicy?
00:31:00Hmm.
00:31:02Well, I can't say I've ever chatted to the man.
00:31:04His son seems to be going for a bit of a rough patch at the moment.
00:31:08Oh, hello.
00:31:11Sorry, I think we met before.
00:31:12Don't remember that!
00:31:14Oh.
00:31:15Sorry, do you mind not doing that?
00:31:16Okay?
00:31:18We're not here to play games.
00:31:19Well, all I can say about the man is he did have that, um, thing installed.
00:31:25Oh, yes.
00:31:26The machine that, uh, spins around.
00:31:35It allows driver to come in and out of the car park without having to manually turn the
00:31:40car around.
00:31:41Mr. Eblen Archer is very proud of the car turn table.
00:31:45But what happens when you press the other button?
00:31:49Uh, probably slides across to reveal...
00:31:52Underground suck palace.
00:31:54No, no, it's more likely it's a secret temple filled with bowls of blood.
00:31:58I don't think so.
00:31:59I believe it's a succitorium with thousands of alopecian guards and they come over...
00:32:03Just make this stuff up.
00:32:05I've actually researched it online.
00:32:17It just went the other way.
00:32:19Time for some ads.
00:32:20And by the way, actually get some of these products.
00:32:22These are high quality products.
00:32:35I'm not seeing any smoke.
00:32:38I think it's broken.
00:32:40Can we swap?
00:32:41No, Sebastian.
00:32:42Alright, cut there.
00:32:43Mmm.
00:32:44It looks really good.
00:32:46The most boring man in the world getting driven around by the second most boring man in the
00:32:50world.
00:32:50Who wants to watch that?
00:32:52Um, hey, I was wondering...
00:32:55Why are you shaking?
00:32:56Uh, sorry.
00:32:57I accidentally wrote a short film.
00:32:59Um, Eleanor's Bird Bath.
00:33:01It's probably nothing but I would just, um, I would love some notes on it.
00:33:04Would you look at it?
00:33:05Yeah.
00:33:06This is a short film.
00:33:07It's as thick as the Holy Bible.
00:33:09I'll trim it down.
00:33:10Thank you so, so much.
00:33:12Can you give Dipstick a hand?
00:33:13Yeah.
00:33:16Do you understand the metaphor?
00:33:19The sparrow is in fact the spirit of Eleanor's dead fiancÃĐ.
00:33:23Sebastian, press the button.
00:33:24You're running it!
00:33:27Kabir, how do you feel about trying some dialogue?
00:33:30Mr. Eblene Archer prefers silence.
00:33:33He prefers silence.
00:33:35Well, we'd love you to say something.
00:33:38Like what?
00:33:39Anything.
00:33:53I've never done this before.
00:33:55Just talk!
00:33:56Improvise!
00:33:59Futurama?
00:34:01Soft drink?
00:34:02That's what you say is Futurama and soft drink?
00:34:07We need to get him some training.
00:34:09ASAP!
00:34:10We were forced to enrol Kabir in a level one improv course.
00:34:13Marty's the best.
00:34:15And then just repeat after me.
00:34:16Wah wah.
00:34:17Wah wah.
00:34:18Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah.
00:34:20Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah.
00:34:22And just...
00:34:24Ooh!
00:34:26Ooh!
00:34:27Yes, yes, but it is rather large.
00:34:30I'm sorry sir, we only make big clocks.
00:34:33Yes, you do.
00:34:34But I only came in for a scale and polish.
00:34:37Oh, he's adding stuff like that.
00:34:39Action!
00:34:40Yes, and did you hear about the person who bought an alarm clock that was too big?
00:34:44No, tell me more.
00:34:47First of all, they bought it from a dentist.
00:34:52Very funny for a dentist to sell an alarm clock instead of the teeth.
00:34:58Sebastian, easy on the smoke.
00:35:00Yeah.
00:35:03Hey, turn it off!
00:35:04I'm trying!
00:35:05Sebastian!
00:35:06I can't!
00:35:07All right.
00:35:08Just turn it off!
00:35:09Turn it off!
00:35:13Let's just lose the smoke machine.
00:35:15Why would there even be smoke inside the car?
00:35:17Right?
00:35:19What do I do that...
00:35:22Maybe we can co-direct Safdie Brothers style?
00:35:24Might be best you sit this one out, buddy.
00:35:35How can we liven this up?
00:35:37What do you think, Winnie?
00:35:38Should we go handheld?
00:35:43Let's just scrap this scene.
00:35:44It's not working.
00:35:45It's a turd!
00:35:46We'll get an early start tomorrow.
00:35:48Big finale.
00:35:49The heart attack.
00:35:51Oh, absolutely not.
00:35:52It's much too personal.
00:35:55He wouldn't want that to be in the movie.
00:35:59Kimmy, can I have a quick word?
00:36:01How can I make a bottle of wine?
00:36:03If you won't give me a single gripe!
00:36:06I'm sorry, Mr. Director.
00:36:07I felt bad for shouting.
00:36:09And grabbing.
00:36:10But I wasn't the only one feeling frustrated.
00:36:12Sebastian was drowning his sorrows.
00:36:15Bartender, fetch me another sack.
00:36:17Yes, sir.
00:36:20Yo, three more scotch and whiskies, please.
00:36:23Neat.
00:36:24Very well, Mr. Adlon Archer.
00:36:26You're the one they call Bert?
00:36:29That's right.
00:36:30Have you been watching me?
00:36:33You don't work for my dad, do you?
00:36:35No.
00:36:36Apparently I'm not allowed.
00:36:39These are on me, by the way.
00:36:45Bro, you know what's really funny?
00:36:47I used to have that same credit card.
00:36:50But then my dad took it for me.
00:36:55I think I like you.
00:37:01Bro, we have a great deal in common, I tell you that.
00:37:04If anything, my parents are holding me back.
00:37:06Sam acts like their money is the only reason I'm on the team.
00:37:10The only reason I'm not in charge is the green-eyed monster.
00:37:14A.K.A. Jealousy.
00:37:15My dad is always riding me too hard.
00:37:19One time, I got so angry about it, I tried to punch a hole in my own head.
00:37:25And that's when they tried to lock me up.
00:37:27A.K.A. send me to art therapy class.
00:37:30What does that mean?
00:37:31I'll show you, bro.
00:37:36You make these?
00:37:37Yeah.
00:37:39They're fascinating.
00:37:40Thank you, bro.
00:37:42One day my dream is to become an amazing sculptor, like Michelangelo.
00:37:46You know him?
00:37:47What's funny is, I showed my dad these, and I told him I wanted to leave the family business.
00:37:54And he had a heart attack, man.
00:37:56Imagine that.
00:37:58Basically no one is rocking with me anymore because of that.
00:38:01It's not actually your fault.
00:38:03Nobody should live in someone else's shadow.
00:38:05From what I've researched and what I know, shadow is the absence of light.
00:38:10You're a good guy.
00:38:12Let's do another round, Ricky. Let's go.
00:38:14Come on, boys. I really need to close up.
00:38:17Ricky, I don't want to be a douchebag, man, but my dad kind of owns you, right?
00:38:20Right.
00:38:21Right, Ricky?
00:38:22That is right, yeah.
00:38:24So get us some more drinks, please.
00:38:26Right you are.
00:38:27And get some cheese for the boy.
00:38:29The next morning I was at an all-time low.
00:38:32I was starting to wonder if there was even a single pedophile at the club.
00:38:36Hey, chin up. There's got to be one of this thing tonight.
00:38:41Thanks, Pat.
00:38:43Yeah.
00:38:44Surely there's a pedophile here.
00:38:46Pedophile.
00:38:48Pedophile.
00:38:49Pedophile.
00:38:51They've got very close-set eyes.
00:38:52No.
00:38:53They're sensitive to life.
00:38:54What long necks?
00:38:55They're very misunderstood.
00:38:57I'm going to have to come clean here.
00:38:59Hadn't really done our homework on this one.
00:39:02My team and I have since gone through a series of briefings about this community.
00:39:06From our employers at Channel 4.
00:39:08Who are not pedophiles.
00:39:10Hey, Sam. I made some amends to my script.
00:39:12I thought you were going to cut it down.
00:39:14Yeah, I tried, but then I had an idea for a subplot with the gardener.
00:39:17I've got time. You should read it now.
00:39:22Why no?
00:39:27Hmm.
00:39:29Jack's bread bath. Nice.
00:39:33Oh.
00:39:34Why didn't I think of that?
00:39:36Looks like we were onto something.
00:39:38Some bastards nicked my camera.
00:39:43The culprit?
00:39:44Sebastian.
00:39:45He was developing a nasty habit of lying on the ground in disgrace.
00:39:50Me thinks a bender.
00:39:52We've all been there.
00:39:55Sebastian.
00:39:56I'm livid.
00:39:58I'm ashamed.
00:40:00Hey, what's up, guys? I'm Bert.
00:40:02You've been playing with my tackle.
00:40:08Bro, you're kind of nice with the camera, man.
00:40:10I play with it when people are sleeping, man.
00:40:12You didn't get permission for this.
00:40:14Yo, Ricky, get on this shit. Try it.
00:40:16Ricky.
00:40:21This is creepy.
00:40:32Bro, I don't know if I like, I don't know if I like what you're doing there.
00:40:35Don't be sucking on me.
00:40:37Nasty, nasty.
00:40:38Bro, I got an idea.
00:40:40Let's go make something, bro.
00:40:41I thought we had an agreement.
00:40:43I want that thing out of there.
00:40:45What?
00:40:53What is this?
00:40:54A big red breast?
00:40:56Commander for you.
00:40:58That's it.
00:40:58No more personal projects.
00:41:06And who is this?
00:41:08No, no, no. Let's look at that.
00:41:10Don't look at that.
00:41:12I'll give you ÂĢ400 for it.
00:41:14More if you can get me the full pair.
00:41:16ÂĢ1,000.
00:41:18It makes me rock hard.
00:41:21ÂĢ1,500 with VAT.
00:41:23Henderson, I need this more than you do.
00:41:25ÂĢ2,000.
00:41:26ÂĢ800.
00:41:27That's less.
00:41:27So what?
00:41:29ÂĢ5,000.
00:41:34Daddy?
00:41:38Sebastian, that's their moment, I think.
00:41:40So, basically, Mr. Abernachter's meeting in Zurich got pushed back.
00:41:44He flew home and ruined our surprise.
00:41:46We didn't get a chance to finish the movie,
00:41:48so we had to make do with Sebastian's footage.
00:41:51I hate you!
00:41:53I hate you!
00:41:55I hate you!
00:41:56Die!
00:41:57Die!
00:41:58Mr. Abernachter said that Kavir had crossed the line.
00:42:02And sadly, made the decision to let him go.
00:42:05But what a send off.
00:42:19I believe in miracles.
00:42:23They happen all the time.
00:42:28I try to make a movie for you.
00:42:33All about your life.
00:42:37And in my mind, I'm driving.
00:42:40And you're there right behind me.
00:42:42I'm fast downtown.
00:42:44With the windows down.
00:42:47People passing by saying,
00:42:49Hey, I like that guy.
00:42:51But we can't stop.
00:42:52We've got somewhere to be.
00:42:57We've got somewhere to be.
00:43:01We've got somewhere to be.
00:43:03We've got somewhere to be.
00:43:07We've got somewhere to be.
00:43:08We've got somewhere to be.
00:43:10This is a very special episode of Make That Movie.
00:43:14Last night, authorities were alerted to what has now been classified as a national emergency.
00:43:19A young couple, identified as Philip and Robin Noonan,
00:43:22were taking part in a commercial tour of the Krenly Grotto Caves.
00:43:26After becoming separated from their group,
00:43:28a flash flood has left the newlyweds trapped underground.
00:43:32A full-scale rescue operation is currently underway.
00:43:36Every second counts.
00:43:38I have been chosen to make an original movie for the couple,
00:43:41to lift their spirits as they fight for their lives.
00:43:46Noonans, you are not alone.
00:43:53I know this wasn't in the diary, but this is a big one.
00:43:56It's all over the news.
00:43:58It's actually a very shocking situation.
00:44:00Please be respectful.
00:44:02So sorry about that.
00:44:04Sorry, my sisters.
00:44:05I was supposed to meet them at the airport.
00:44:07Huh?
00:44:08No, it's nothing.
00:44:09We were just going to hike the Camino de Santiago.
00:44:11This kind of pilgrimage thing.
00:44:13Stupid.
00:44:14Oh, you've been planning that for months.
00:44:18All nine sisters taking the Camino.
00:44:21Yeah.
00:44:22This fucking job.
00:44:24Oh, spare me.
00:44:25There's going to be other bottomless brunches, Pat.
00:44:28Yeah, whatever.
00:44:29Let's get a move on.
00:44:30Can I use the toilet real quick?
00:44:32Sebastian, they said if it rains again, they'll definitely die.
00:44:35Of course.
00:44:36Come on.
00:45:08The Friendly
00:45:09Time was of the essence, as we descended upon the rescue site.
00:45:15The emergency response team could breathe a sigh of relief.
00:45:18The cavalry had arrived, and they were cave ready.
00:45:28First things first, I needed to strategise with the head of the operation, Dina, a lady
00:45:33who I believe is some sort of dirt scientist, not to say really.
00:45:37Okay, so we've established a pilot sharp crew to deliver food, water and medicine.
00:45:41Now the decision we need to land on is whether or not we expand the passage from above,
00:45:45or we drill through the rock to the eastern side of the cave.
00:45:47Question, how loud is this drilling going to be?
00:45:51You're the movie guy who unplugged the generator.
00:45:54You should get one with more sockets.
00:45:55Yeah, can I ask who requested your department's involvement?
00:45:58It came from the top.
00:46:00Are you from New Zealand?
00:46:04Dina, we've got picture.
00:46:05Okay.
00:46:07Where are we going?
00:46:09A hydraulic winch can pull three tons.
00:46:12It's the best in the world.
00:46:13And who's looking after Apricot?
00:46:15Oh, is Apricot okay?
00:46:17Is he scared?
00:46:17Apricot?
00:46:18Is that a pet?
00:46:20Hello?
00:46:21Apologies for that.
00:46:22We're daisy chaining the transmitters.
00:46:24Can you hear us?
00:46:25It's coming.
00:46:26Nerdens.
00:46:27How are you holding up?
00:46:28We're surviving.
00:46:30I love that.
00:46:31I'm Sam Campbell.
00:46:32Head of entertainment on this one.
00:46:34I'm gonna be making a movie for you guys.
00:46:37Keep you going down there.
00:46:38That is actually not something we-
00:46:39Oh, wow.
00:46:41Hello?
00:46:42The connection keeps dropping.
00:46:44Is that better?
00:46:45Hot chocolate.
00:46:46For you.
00:46:47You should've just gone back to Disneyland Paris.
00:46:49Look, this briefing is for essential contributors.
00:46:52So you and your team need to leave.
00:46:53Dina!
00:46:54Where are the toilets up in this cave?
00:46:57Hey!
00:46:58The people!
00:46:59I can't believe what's happening to you.
00:47:02Very shocking.
00:47:03I swear, I'm suing that tour guide.
00:47:05Look, it's very important that you tell me what the diameter-
00:47:08Did it say anywhere on the website we weren't allowed to be barefoot in the cave?
00:47:11Barefoot?
00:47:14It's a human, right?
00:47:15Okay, I'm gonna have to interject here.
00:47:17As medical research, people who choose to wear shoes often have weaker, deformed feet.
00:47:22They resent us.
00:47:23It's getting harder and harder to co-exist with the shoe community.
00:47:26I wish someone told me I'd be talking to some fellow barefooters.
00:47:30Oh my god.
00:47:31No way.
00:47:32He was just wearing shoes.
00:47:33I don't think so.
00:47:34I've been a barefooter for 15 years.
00:47:36Never looked back.
00:47:37Wait, is the movie gonna be about the course?
00:47:39No, nobody is making a movie, okay?
00:47:41We can send you down a movie that already exists.
00:47:45What do you want to do?
00:47:46Moana 2?
00:47:48We've already seen it.
00:47:50If my memory serves me correctly, I believe Moana is barefoot.
00:47:55I like the sound of this guy.
00:47:57He sounds playful.
00:47:58And so, will our movie be animated?
00:48:01What's the idea?
00:48:02The idea?
00:48:06What were we thinking?
00:48:08Oh, um.
00:48:10So, it's a movie.
00:48:11It's definitely about feet.
00:48:12It's a family of feet.
00:48:15And they are going on a journey.
00:48:17And then they, all of a sudden, there's this hand and a giant.
00:48:20And this giant hand is a really mean hand.
00:48:23And then it comes up to them and then it says, you're gonna wear shoes.
00:48:26And then they go, no!
00:48:28And so then there's a big fade, but the shoes lose and the feet win.
00:48:36Thank you so much.
00:48:39You ever been to Costa Coffee?
00:48:41Yeah.
00:48:43You know how they got the big cup outside?
00:48:45Mm-hmm.
00:48:47I once got trapped inside of one of those.
00:48:51Yeah.
00:48:52We've lost the feet.
00:48:53Oh!
00:48:56How have you been?
00:48:58While I said about installing Final Draft on Dina's special computers, Pat took a quick breather above ground.
00:49:05And who's this?
00:49:08I'll borrow your lighter.
00:49:12Do you want a cigarette?
00:49:14I don't touch it.
00:49:17I try and stare at an open flame at least once a day.
00:49:22I'm apricot.
00:49:24Hat.
00:49:25So whether you're a friend of the Noonans or...?
00:49:28A bit more than that.
00:49:29I'm their third.
00:49:32We're in a polycule.
00:49:33Obel phrase.
00:49:34Cheers.
00:49:36So, do you think they'll get out of there or what?
00:49:38You know, I've got couples already sniffing around.
00:49:41Hey, apricot.
00:49:43I heard you're back on the market.
00:49:45Why don't you show us a good time?
00:49:48Careful, there's broken glass.
00:49:55It wasn't just the Noonans' loved ones holding their breath.
00:49:58It seemed like the whole world was watching our mission unfold.
00:50:01The movie's already getting a ton of buzz.
00:50:03The Barefoot Brigade are really getting behind us.
00:50:06Look at all these messages.
00:50:07I mean, you did hold a press conference.
00:50:09Even Barefoot celebrities are reaching out.
00:50:11They want to help in any way they can.
00:50:13I thought our thing was working with regular people.
00:50:16Ooh.
00:50:17Why didn't you have a quick word with Winnie?
00:50:23Did you hear?
00:50:24They want a cartoon.
00:50:26Anything is possible in the world of animation.
00:50:31Yeah, it hurts my eyes.
00:50:32Winnie, just real quick.
00:50:33Sam needs you to stand down.
00:50:35Jessie, what are you on about?
00:50:36I'm really sorry.
00:50:38Just a second.
00:50:40It might not be my wheelhouse, but I can do some coloring in.
00:50:43The Barefoot Defense League have done some digging.
00:50:45And they found out you worked at Foot Locker.
00:50:48Winnie? Is that true?
00:50:49I did one trial shift during COVID.
00:50:53I was at a loose end.
00:50:55You can't do this.
00:50:57Please.
00:50:58Where will I go?
00:51:00It's my life, kiddo.
00:51:03You're all mad.
00:51:06I'll show you.
00:51:08How's that?
00:51:10This guy, Sebastian, has always rubbed me the wrong way.
00:51:13But his foot was perfect.
00:51:15Yeah, I'm having more fun with it.
00:51:16I installed him as chief concept artist
00:51:18and set about filling out our animation division.
00:51:22Now, I'm not asking anyone to jump ship.
00:51:24God, no.
00:51:26But when was the last time you just drew something for fun?
00:51:28Remember when you were a kid?
00:51:29A box of crayons, that's all we needed.
00:51:31Mum's so proud she whacks it on the fridge.
00:51:33I started making a graphic novel when I was at uni.
00:51:35Excuse me, that's amazing.
00:51:37If you've got a window, I'd love to see you have a crack at a storyboard.
00:51:40Why do they call it a storyboard?
00:51:43If it's a great story, I'm never bored.
00:51:46Sebastian, the people are in the cave.
00:51:49I'm going to need you to return to your allocated nook.
00:51:55Hey, you know how many of these rescues?
00:51:58We've probably done about four on the scale.
00:52:00I've made over 50 movies.
00:52:07It's my birthday in September.
00:52:09Dina's underlings were finally getting a taste of real leadership.
00:52:13I'd fostered a really creative atmosphere.
00:52:15And before long, we'd assembled Footopia's opening vignette.
00:52:19A long time ago, in a land unlike any you and I have ever seen,
00:52:24lived a family of travelling feet.
00:52:26They skipped and hopped and tiptoed in harmony.
00:52:31Bound only by a sacred pact of pure, unrestricted freedom.
00:52:40Unbeknownst to these gentle creatures, a darkness stirred.
00:52:47Thirsty for power, determined to shackle all that is good.
00:52:52The hand comes to us all.
00:52:57It's a masterpiece. There's no other word for it.
00:53:01Thanks for coming at such short notice, Debbie McGee.
00:53:03Wild horses wouldn't have kept me away.
00:53:05Anything for the moon.
00:53:06So, will the feet have to leave the homeland, or will they stay in face?
00:53:10Well, first things first.
00:53:12I'm going to need some celebs to provide the voices.
00:53:16You want us to play at the feast?
00:53:18Oh my god!
00:53:20The Noonans are going to be so grateful you've come on board.
00:53:23Pat!
00:53:24This is our sound recordist.
00:53:25She's going to set you up in a recording booth down in dazzling Soho.
00:53:29You what?
00:53:30Lay down some tracks.
00:53:31I've got to go all the way to fucking Soho.
00:53:34Lose the attitude.
00:53:35Is Jess driving?
00:53:36I need her to keep this Dina woman off my back.
00:53:41Oh, you're heading back to the city.
00:53:43Let me grab a lift.
00:53:44Yeah, sure. No worries.
00:53:46I love your work.
00:53:47I'm DJing at Prince.
00:53:49Early set.
00:53:51God, I was there just last week.
00:53:53What's this?
00:53:53Footprints. It's a nightclub that caters to the barefoot clientele.
00:53:59Very trendy.
00:54:00Come with.
00:54:01I'm doing the early set.
00:54:04Maybe I can get you some free drinks.
00:54:06That sounds so fun, but we're recording voices for the foot tribe
00:54:09and we're racing against the clock.
00:54:11You know what?
00:54:12Let's do it.
00:54:14I'm sure we've got time for one drink.
00:54:17An apricot, by the way.
00:54:22The next day, I awoke to find the rescue team had gone out of their way
00:54:25to rush ahead of our production.
00:54:27I knew.
00:54:28If the Noonans escaped before seeing my movie, they'd be crushed.
00:54:32They were counting on me.
00:54:33Hey, I'm a little uneasy about the hand.
00:54:35Hands are notoriously difficult to draw.
00:54:37Everybody knows that.
00:54:38You knew that going in.
00:54:39I haven't heard from Winnie.
00:54:41Should we be worried?
00:54:43Finally!
00:54:47Bus fell over.
00:54:48Really upsetting.
00:54:50Pat was clearly buckling under the pressure.
00:54:52And she wasn't the only one.
00:54:54This is so intense.
00:54:55Listen, I want you to take a breather.
00:54:57I just can't seem to calibrate the drill bit.
00:54:59It just needs...
00:54:59It's fine, don't worry.
00:55:00Okay, go for a walk.
00:55:01Take as long as you need.
00:55:02That's an order.
00:55:04Are you sure?
00:55:05You are so much more important to me with a clear head.
00:55:07Okay?
00:55:08We got this.
00:55:09Everything's going to be okay.
00:55:14What are you going to do?
00:55:17Please let me let us do.
00:55:19Let me let us do.
00:55:21That is no life at all.
00:55:24Sound is a little crunchy.
00:55:26Where did you record this?
00:55:27I got a booth.
00:55:28We've got to break!
00:55:32I didn't cut this time to run away.
00:55:35Yes!
00:55:36Yes!
00:55:37Yes!
00:55:37Yes!
00:55:41You have to find the secret change.
00:55:44No!
00:55:44Yes!
00:55:45Yes!
00:55:46This is horrible!
00:55:48Yes!
00:55:49Yes!
00:55:50Have you been drinking?
00:55:51Oh!
00:55:52At a time like this?
00:55:54Alcohol, I presume.
00:55:55Pat, you've really let me down.
00:55:57It's not a big deal.
00:55:59Are you on something?
00:56:00You are! You're pinging!
00:56:02Your eyes are UFO!
00:56:03Shut up, man!
00:56:04This is unacceptable behaviour.
00:56:06You're dismissed. Effective immediately.
00:56:09Got the link out to the Noonans.
00:56:11I'm coming, Noonans!
00:56:12With no usable audio and an estimated 900,000 drawings left to complete,
00:56:17I needed to buy us some time.
00:56:19I wish someone told me feature-length animation can take weeks.
00:56:23How's the movie looking?
00:56:24We have good news.
00:56:25Debbie McGee is attached.
00:56:27We're going to get you out today.
00:56:28Today?
00:56:30We've neutralised the Eastern Tunnel,
00:56:31so there is still a risk of falling debris,
00:56:32so as soon as we reach you, we'll get you secured in PPE,
00:56:35then our team will take you back through the tunnel to our Phoenix capsules.
00:56:38Ideally, we would have sourced a model that could fit both of you at the same time,
00:56:41but that shouldn't-
00:56:41I don't want to spess up.
00:56:42Yeah, this seems really dangerous.
00:56:45We can get a bigger Phoenix, we can do that.
00:56:47Is this gonna work?
00:56:48Like, what's the proper, um...
00:56:52How do we know if...
00:56:54What is the actual chance of full survival, is what he's trying to say?
00:56:57Under these circumstances...
00:56:58What percentage?
00:57:00There are a lot of factors.
00:57:01Please, give us a percentile!
00:57:0493%.
00:57:04Don't love those odds.
00:57:06No, we'd be much more comfortable with 100%.
00:57:09You lot will have to head back to the old drawing board.
00:57:11Few adjustments, calculations...
00:57:14We need you to guarantee 100%.
00:57:16That is impossible to do.
00:57:17We cannot legally tell you 100%.
00:57:19That's what we want to work with.
00:57:21Um, we don't mind it, as long as we're out by Christmas.
00:57:24Christmas?
00:57:25Well, stay put, thanks, Dina.
00:57:27We can't misfit topia.
00:57:32We are this close.
00:57:35You are jeopardising this entire mission!
00:57:37Who the fuck are you...
00:57:38Dina was becoming very passionate.
00:57:39She and I had a bit of a will-they-won-they thing going on.
00:57:43Get out of my side! Now!
00:57:44Later.
00:57:46The Noonans would need to stay put, while I shifted our production into hyperdrive.
00:57:51Speed up, mate.
00:57:51I'd like to raise a concern.
00:57:53No time.
00:57:54Sam, I have to address the unfair treatment.
00:57:57She was on drugs.
00:57:58Her eyes were as big as dinner plates!
00:58:00No, I'm not talking about-
00:58:01The old man was slowing us down!
00:58:03What? No!
00:58:04I don't feel comfortable with us portraying all hands as evil.
00:58:08What?
00:58:09I'd like to introduce the character.
00:58:13The baby hand princess.
00:58:15She falls in love with the little foot.
00:58:17They broker a peace treaty.
00:58:20Go ahead.
00:58:21Go ahead.
00:58:25It's Jess, right?
00:58:26Yeah.
00:58:27I respect that you're trying to help out here, but this isn't a game.
00:58:31Okay?
00:58:32Have you seen the forecast?
00:58:32Totally. Of course.
00:58:34Yeah, but I think they're just adding the finishing touches.
00:58:36Why don't I believe you?
00:58:38Well...
00:58:39You only have about a minute and a half done.
00:58:41Don't tell him I said that.
00:58:42Oh my god.
00:58:44I'm sorry.
00:58:45It's just...
00:58:45It's his process.
00:58:47Can I get you anything?
00:58:48Hot chocolate?
00:58:49How do you put up with that?
00:58:53Publicly, the Dalai Lama condemned the project.
00:58:57But privately, he told me he loved it.
00:59:03Any questions?
00:59:05Train tracks, what do you got?
00:59:07Um...
00:59:08Hey, sorry.
00:59:09I'm nervous.
00:59:10You're my favorite film director ever.
00:59:13Um...
00:59:14I...
00:59:14Uh...
00:59:15Yeah.
00:59:16When you go to make a movie...
00:59:17Gonna stop you there.
00:59:19I have never made a movie.
00:59:21Never will.
00:59:22It is always a team effort.
00:59:24Always.
00:59:25Next question.
00:59:28Look, we're just trying to save these people's lives.
00:59:30Now, I know this is not an easy position to be in.
00:59:33But if there is any way, you can make him stop.
00:59:38It's just confusing.
00:59:40The hands have to be evil.
00:59:41Hands are somewhat evil.
00:59:43They point at you.
00:59:44The fist is a hand.
00:59:45They can be nice.
00:59:47They wave at you.
00:59:48They touch gently.
00:59:50They give vouchers.
00:59:51It's not up for discussion.
00:59:52You're messing with my idea.
00:59:53Your idea?
00:59:54Yeah.
00:59:55You didn't come up with it.
00:59:57You never do.
00:59:58I beg your pardon?
00:59:59You're a leech.
01:00:01You don't care about other people.
01:00:03You take their ideas and then you boss everyone around.
01:00:06I've got plenty of ideas for movies, thank you.
01:00:09Like what?
01:00:12Fine, we'll do hand, princess.
01:00:14She intrigues me.
01:00:15Say one original movie idea.
01:00:19I will.
01:00:25I'm waiting.
01:00:26And I'm ready.
01:00:27It's all set at Christmas.
01:00:29Because it is a...
01:00:30But because it's a Christmas movie.
01:00:31Because that's near the end of the year.
01:00:33So everyone's getting together as a...
01:00:35And there's just this real...
01:00:37It is the season.
01:00:38So...
01:00:39Listen.
01:00:40Honestly.
01:00:41Because...
01:00:44You know what?
01:00:45You are a thorn in my side.
01:00:47You're sacked.
01:00:48I plan to choke you.
01:00:58Sam.
01:00:59I need you to sit down.
01:01:01Kindly escort this dickhead out of my nook.
01:01:03They're gone.
01:01:04They have died.
01:01:07Huh?
01:01:08The Noonans.
01:01:10There was a tremor in the cave and...
01:01:13A rock fell on their heads.
01:01:15So they've died.
01:01:17It's really sad.
01:01:18We have to go now.
01:01:19Jess, what are you talking...
01:01:21I'm not...
01:01:23It's all my fault.
01:01:25No.
01:01:25No, no.
01:01:25Not at all.
01:01:26Are you sure they're dead?
01:01:27They might just be a little bit squished.
01:01:29They're not squished.
01:01:30They're dead.
01:01:31We know for a fact.
01:01:33They've died.
01:01:34Completely.
01:01:35Yeah.
01:01:36We just...
01:01:37I couldn't reach them in time.
01:01:39It's all over, Red Rover.
01:01:41You have to go.
01:01:43It's illegal to say 100%.
01:01:47We can't give up.
01:01:48Don't just stand there.
01:01:49We have to help them.
01:01:54What happened to the world?
01:02:02What happened to the years?
01:02:12Oh!
01:02:18Oh!
01:02:18Oh!
01:02:23Sam!
01:02:24Sam, are you okay?
01:02:29I...
01:02:31Like...
01:02:33Movies.
01:02:44He's awake
01:02:47Apricor
01:02:50Mernens
01:02:51Am I in the kingdom of heaven?
01:02:55Put a big crystal near your head
01:02:57I think it's helped with the healing
01:03:00I'll never lie to you again
01:03:01What you did was so brave
01:03:03It was?
01:03:04It was on the news
01:03:06News website
01:03:07Near the side bit
01:03:08Did you get screenshots?
01:03:10I missed it
01:03:11Sorry I gave you a spook, boss
01:03:13I fall apart when I'm on my own
01:03:16You've got a real monster
01:03:19Cheers
01:03:20Nasa said you should be here for a couple of weeks
01:03:22But it could be months
01:03:23No pet
01:03:24My sweet pet
01:03:26No
01:03:28Don't worry, we'll be here every single day
01:03:31We've been busy
01:03:32We may do something
01:03:34What's this?
01:03:36What the hell is this?
01:03:43Hi Virginia
01:03:44Did you hear about this new tradition everybody's talking about?
01:03:47Oh no, don't you start
01:03:49Christmas sounds like a fad to me
01:03:52I wouldn't get too excited
01:03:57Pay attention, water women
01:03:59While I introduce to you
01:04:02The one and only Santa Claus
01:04:10I'm looking to find a human wife
01:04:15Oh no
01:04:17The funny Christmas
01:04:29You shouldn't have done this
01:04:30You shouldn't have done this
01:04:30And the one who's soNDįķįķ
01:04:30need to find this I don't
Comments