00:28It was rather a flat
00:29day on Monday, with flat clouds floating in a flat sky, and flat birds sitting in flat
00:36trees singing flat songs.
00:40Rhubarb was feeling a bit flat too, and was kicking his heels when he noticed something
00:45which gave him an idea.
00:47Now, that would fill the day in very nicely, said Rhubarb, as he watched Custard hop-bobbing
00:54on the other side of the fence.
00:56Yes, a puppet show.
00:58I'll make some puppets and write a play, beamed Rhubarb, and planned the whole spectacular
01:03as he rambled his way up to the shed without telling a soul.
01:08Jenny Wren happened to be perched on a bough, listening to the flat day go by, when Rhubarb
01:13trundled past.
01:15Jenny saw the whole plan, and fluttered off to tell the others.
01:22All that morning, there were wisps of theatrical rehearsals wafting from the shed, as Rhubarb made
01:28his puppets, wrote the play, and perused his lines.
01:32Tragedy, drama, comic opera, whatever it was, it was bound to be a curtain raiser.
01:40Ha-ha, chortled Rhubarb as he swept out of the shed, then trundled off to find an audience,
01:47only to be met by a sea of faces.
01:50Well, I'm stage-struck, murmured Rhubarb.
01:53A full house.
01:54With that, Rhubarb went behind a special bit of fence he'd made and began.
02:01With great knowledge, together with great effort, and me, I have writ for you an excellent
02:08new play, which is to be performed for you by a cast of cut-out characters, manipulated
02:13by my own fair paws, and their lines reported to you by my own fair Bach, announced Rhubarb,
02:19and his audience sat and waited with great expectations.
02:23Not a groan nor a peep from them, noted Rhubarb.
02:26Oh, well, on with the show, then, eh?
02:28What?
02:30As a special attraction, the show will be performed entirely in original ventriloquism, as spoken
02:36in Ventnor.
02:38Good gawning, the play opened.
02:41Good gawning to Goon.
02:43Would you like a cup of coffee?
02:46No, thank you, Gary Gutsch.
02:47I'd rather have a gottle of gear.
02:53Rhubarb thought the play was very, very funny.
02:56And had hysterics.
02:58But the audience never uttered a squeak, and Rhubarb wondered why.
03:03Oi, you lot.
03:05This is a very funny play, don't you know?
03:07So why aren't you laughing, eh?
03:08Demanded Rhubarb.
03:10And why aren't you laughing, lady?
03:12He went on to custard, and poked him with his paw.
03:17Carbboard cut-outs?
03:19Screamed Rhubarb.
03:20Oh, cardboard cut-outs!
03:22He ranted as he kicked everyone over.
03:28Sniggling and smirking noises were coming from the thicket, and so Rhubarb investigated.
03:33Ah, so that's where you all are, growled Rhubarb.
03:37Why all the cardboard cut-outs?
03:40He demanded.
03:41Better that the card gets bored, dear boy, rather than us, tittered Custard with a smirk.
03:49Sometimes words fail me, ranted Rhubarb.
03:53Yeah, especially when you write plays.
03:57Chuckled Custard.
03:58It's the best duke I've heard all day, said Rabbit.
04:02And Rhubarb was laughed off the stage.
04:04Oh, my God.
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