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Taskmaster - Season 21 Episode 5 - I Corroborate
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00:02Don't look away
00:16I might just do this all day
00:37I'm Craig Davis butter me up put me in the oven for three hours at 200 degrees
00:41And you've got yourself a succulent roast that's ready to make judgments and the side dishes five comedians
00:48They've been boiled blanched and steamed. It's time to cover them in gravy and gobble them down with your eyes
00:55Please welcome
01:00Joe Iannucci
01:02Joanna Payne
01:05Joel Donner
01:07Kamel Nanjiani
01:11And next to me 13 stone of meat that has been shaped into the rough approximation of a man by
01:19an easily distracted toddler
01:22It's
01:23LITTLE ALEX HALL
01:27Thank you
01:28Thank you everybody
01:2914 stone
01:30Hello
01:32What's this week's rice category?
01:34Well this time they've brought in the most surprising quite big thing to conceal on your person
01:39I know it is it's tricky
01:41We all know it's easier to conceal things in a person but these guys know what they're doing
01:48Look at them five points for the most surprising quite big thing to conceal on your person and all five
01:53quite big things will go home
01:55Covertly with the episode winner
01:57Armando have you concealed a big thing about your person yes Einstein's theory of relativity you cannot get bigger than
02:04that
02:06It's clever
02:25It's clever
02:27Oh
02:32It's cling film meat to his legs
02:36And what's incredible is think of all Armando's achievements and look how pleased he is
02:42It's an incredibly strong start. I suspect it's all gonna really rapidly go downhill
02:49I've brought in my amethyst crystal, and this is the crystal. It's concealed somewhere on my body
02:56Well, it looks like it's just sort of probably tucked in the top of your jogging bottoms. Oh for fuck's
03:02sake
03:05We see if you're right well
03:07He was right. It's massive. It's my crystal. We keep it in the hallway and it brings good fortune and
03:13love and kindness and peace
03:15But once... It. Does. Not. I can tell you this, and this may cause you to re-evaluate the crystal
03:21For sticking it in your trousers, it's about to get you one point
03:26Kamal. We have a video. This is what Kamal has brought in
03:31BUZZER
03:31BUZZER
03:32BUZZER
03:32BUZZER
03:33BUZZER
03:35BUZZER
03:37SURPRISING!
03:38BUZZER
03:40BUZZER
03:40BUZZER
03:40BUZZER
03:40BUZZER
03:42BUZZER
03:43Sharks predate trees, that is true. By, like, hundreds of years
03:48BUZZER
03:49BUZZER
03:50It's 150, it's very close at the beginning. 150 years. Is it really 150? No, it's...
03:57BUZZER
03:58BUZZER
03:58It's millions, millions and millions. Good. A big thing. And a big concept on it.
04:04When it was big though, it wasn't hidden. When it was big though, was it?
04:06I'll tell you, your big thing wasn't concealed either.
04:10BUZZER
04:10BUZZER
04:12BUZZER
04:12Oh my God. Hello, Amy. Hello!
04:15Let's see whether you can take on Einstein's baguette legs.
04:19BUZZER
04:19Ten-man life raft.
04:21BUZZER
04:22BUZZER
04:22BUZZER
04:23Where is the life raft? No.
04:25BUZZER
04:25BUZZER
04:25Can I show you a picture?
04:28BUZZER
04:28Earlier, Amy did this.
04:30BUZZER
04:30BUZZER
04:30BUZZER
04:30And then... O allá!
04:34BUZZER
04:34BUZZER
04:34AND THE LI Deep Raph!
04:37BUZZER
04:39BUZZER
04:40BUZZER
04:43BUZZER
04:45BUZZER
04:47BUZZER
04:49BUZZER
04:52BUZZER
04:52Dig into this!
04:54You said ten... Ten men! Ten tiny men!
04:58LAUGHTER
05:01Hi, Joel. I've got a tattoo in my hair.
05:05Here's a video of me getting it done.
05:06Listen to this. Oh, this is incredible.
05:09Oh, no! No!
05:11Here's a photo of it. We weren't condoning it, but he did that.
05:16LAUGHTER
05:16Oh, my God!
05:18APPLAUSE
05:21Oh, my God!
05:24Oh, my God, it's really freaky, it's weird when you see it.
05:29LAUGHTER
05:31Oh, my God!
05:33Incredible!
05:37APPLAUSE
05:41There's no doubt the funniest thing to happen here
05:43would be for Joel to come last.
05:45LAUGHTER
05:50Like, Sharpe's doing that.
05:52Obviously, I shall be giving one point to Joanna's stupid crystal.
05:57LAUGHTER
05:58That has no magical powers and can be seen from the moon.
06:02LAUGHTER
06:03So, one point's easy.
06:04Well done.
06:04Two points for Amy, three points for Kamel.
06:07Simple as that.
06:08APPLAUSE
06:09And now it's a big eye.
06:10Do you think that Einstein's work should be dismissed as quite big?
06:15Ooh. It's relative.
06:15LAUGHTER
06:17Oh, my God, can I do it?
06:22Can't a man physically scarring himself for life
06:26be beaten by baguette legs?
06:28LAUGHTER
06:28That's there forever.
06:29That's there forever.
06:30I know.
06:31But I am.
06:33I'm going to let him win.
06:35LAUGHTER
06:36That's what the people want.
06:38APPLAUSE
06:39It's OK.
06:41It's OK.
06:43It's OK.
06:43It's OK.
06:44It's OK.
06:44It's OK.
06:44Five points for another energy.
06:46APPLAUSE
06:47Let's have a proper task.
06:48Yes, and I think I know exactly which one this is.
07:06I think Amy's coming in.
07:08Hello.
07:09Coming in.
07:09Hello, Amy.
07:10I thought it might be you.
07:11Hello.
07:12Alexander Horner.
07:13I thought it was going to be you.
07:14I like it in here.
07:15Me too.
07:16What do you do in here?
07:17I do everything in here.
07:19Everything.
07:20Everything?
07:21Everything.
07:23Fall in love?
07:24Ah, not yet.
07:26Mm-mm.
07:28Is it happening now?
07:30Write down a prediction.
07:33Write down a prediction for an unlikely situation to occur
07:36in exactly 15 minutes' time.
07:39Then make that unlikely situation occur.
07:43Most unlikely situation to occur in exactly 15 minutes' time
07:46wins.
07:47Those 15 minutes start now, and you must write down your
07:50prediction within the next five minutes.
07:55LAUGHTER
07:57OK, well, I'll go for it.
07:59I don't know how I'll make it happen.
08:01Wow.
08:02Doesn't seem very likely.
08:04Very unlikely.
08:06APPLAUSE
08:09Well, I'm pretty certain our mum fell asleep, Joe.
08:13LAUGHTER
08:14You want to see some predictions?
08:16You know I do.
08:17It's Amy and Joel.
08:18Here we go.
08:19Want to read it?
08:20Yes, please.
08:21Make a hole-in-one.
08:23In golf.
08:24The golf ball will also have a picture of me on it.
08:27A Joel-in-one.
08:28A Joel-in-one.
08:29I was going to call somebody up there working.
08:31I know.
08:32Get someone in the countryside.
08:34Countryside's weird, isn't it?
08:35All sorts of mad stuff happens there.
08:40OK, you need to get a hole-in-one in exactly ten minutes' time.
08:43This kind of makes the game of golf more fun, you know?
08:45What if they had to make their own holes?
08:49Please, please.
08:51Hello.
08:52Hello.
08:52What are you doing in the next sort of 12 minutes?
08:56I'm doing bugger-all today.
08:57OK, well.
08:58I'm unwell, but I'm OK.
09:00Oh!
09:01You're unwell.
09:02It's just, I was unwell last week, and then what I did was going to a company festival
09:07from 10 o'clock in morning till 1 o'clock in morning for three days.
09:10I was just about getting better, and then I did that, so...
09:13Three minutes.
09:13OK.
09:14Anyway.
09:15I need to ask you to do something unexpected in the countryside.
09:18You know that bus stop that's across the road from your house with the mosaic?
09:22Yeah.
09:22You could go to that bus stop, couldn't you?
09:23My prediction is a man goes to a bus stop in rural England and sings a song about antelopes
09:30with dried pasta in his pockets.
09:32OK.
09:33Nine minutes, 15.
09:36Perfect.
09:38Chris, you're there.
09:39I need to...
09:40It's the filming bit.
09:41I need to...
09:41Seven minutes.
09:42Seven minutes.
09:43Film it, landscape.
09:45All right.
09:45OK, yeah.
09:47All right.
09:47Bye-bye-bye.
09:48Oh, nice.
09:48That feels good, isn't it?
09:51Whoa!
09:52Do my high end.
09:54Whoa!
09:55That went over the fence.
09:56Ooh!
09:57You're getting closer, but then you are also getting closer.
09:59I'm also getting closer.
10:01Two minutes, 20.
10:02OK.
10:02Good, good, good.
10:07You've got a minute.
10:0950 seconds.
10:10Shut up.
10:13It's near the donkey.
10:1620 seconds.
10:19Five.
10:21Four.
10:21Five.
10:23Three.
10:25Two.
10:26One.
10:28That, my friend, is a dole in one.
10:31Got it.
10:32Oh, yeah?
10:33Yeah, so there's the pasta with the mosaic.
10:34Yeah.
10:35See the pasta.
10:36Yeah.
10:37Please come take this away and analyse it.
10:38What, my phone?
10:39Yeah.
10:40Yeah.
10:41Goodbye.
10:42Goodbye.
10:43Hmm.
10:44Don't scroll.
10:50I think there's a lot of people in this room going, oh, no, don't scroll.
10:54Don't scroll.
10:55No one's ever done this before.
10:57Just get someone else to do the task.
11:00And as far as I can work out, you're just getting some stranger to create a scene from Last of
11:05the Summer Wives.
11:07But how unlikely is that?
11:09Oh, it's a work of genius.
11:11Oh, good.
11:11Joel, I enjoyed the pun.
11:13I feel like, during this series, I'm getting you on the pun vibe.
11:17I think you are dragging me over to the pun side of life.
11:21I've just got a question.
11:22When you do a hole-in-one, in this instance, were you not in control of the starting point for
11:28the hole-in-one?
11:29Yeah.
11:30Yeah, I was.
11:31And I started to get closer, and then, but then it didn't feel as exciting.
11:36It's not very sportsmanlike.
11:38That's what I was thinking.
11:39I admire that.
11:40Sure, but he did violate rules 4.2A and 4.1A of golf.
11:43You're also not allowed leather trousers.
11:46No, that's fine nowadays.
11:47Oh, OK.
11:47They're cool with that.
11:49What about Last of the Summer Wives?
11:51Well, she was very keen that he filmed it landscape.
11:54Yep.
11:55Chris.
11:55Chris.
11:56Oh, Chris.
11:57You better know.
11:57I haven't heard from him much since then.
12:03He's dead now.
12:05So Chris did something at exactly 50 minutes after the task started.
12:08He sent the video.
12:09It's not perfect.
12:10This is the video.
12:13He filmed it in time-lapse mode.
12:16We are unable to retrieve it.
12:18We have no idea if he sang the song.
12:19Presumably.
12:20Presumably you did.
12:21No, but it did happen.
12:23Well, we don't know it happened.
12:24But it would be crazy to be like,
12:26yes, I'll go to a bus stop.
12:27Yes, I'll put Pat in my pockets.
12:28I'm not going to sing about antelopes.
12:30Of course he sang about antelopes.
12:31That's the easiest bit.
12:32No, the easiest bit would have been recording a video of itself.
12:37That's another one.
12:38OK, well, it is Kamel's time to shine.
12:43You know what?
12:44I could make time go backwards.
12:49That would be unlikely, wouldn't it?
12:51Yes.
12:52Yeah.
12:53Like, like if you saw that and they're all going up,
12:55wouldn't that be weird?
12:56That'd be really weird.
12:57Yeah.
12:58I mean, you can write it down.
12:59You've just got to make it happen in 10 minutes.
13:02Great.
13:03OK, well, this seems very unlikely,
13:04but you've got 10 minutes to make it happen.
13:05I have not thought this through.
13:08No.
13:09I hate saying it.
13:10Hurry up.
13:21I have made nine move makers.
13:24I have made nine move makers.
13:28I have made nine move makers.
13:31You can't move me up.
13:33Yeah.
13:38Was it OK?
13:43It's not an especially sophisticated response from me,
13:47but what I've written down is,
13:48what the fuck's going on?
13:52I make time move backwards.
13:56I saw you've reversed the film so that the sound was going up.
13:59I did not reverse it.
14:00That was happening in real time.
14:02We filmed it upside...
14:03He filmed it upside down to give the illusion that...
14:05So the sound was going up.
14:06But he was upside down in the video.
14:08No, but you thought he was the right way up
14:09because you were fooled by the illusion, remember?
14:11Oh.
14:11I think I'm the stupid one here.
14:13I think he has made time go backwards.
14:17OK, another prediction from me.
14:18During these adverts,
14:20one of your family is about to make the toilet a no-go zone again.
14:23Make them go in the garden.
14:25Bye for now.
14:30APPLAUSE
14:34Hello.
14:35Yes, hello.
14:36You join us for the second part of the show.
14:38What was happening before the break, Alex?
14:39Well, my little Greg's Benedict.
14:41They're predicting unlikely situations
14:44to occur within 15 minutes of them opening up the task.
14:47Next, it's Joanna.
14:49That's my prediction.
14:50Would you mind reading it out to me?
14:51A donkey comes into the garden
14:53wearing a wig and costume on a skateboard.
14:57I'm doing tumble tosses on the lawn.
15:01I just heard a bell.
15:03Hey!
15:04How are you?
15:06How are you doing?
15:07I haven't seen you for so long.
15:10What?
15:10Oh my gosh, I can sense something.
15:12I can mind read him and he's asking if I want to go dancing.
15:16You want to dance with me?
15:19Come to me, donkey.
15:21Come to me.
15:22Woo!
15:23Oh, this is amazing.
15:25And we both dance together.
15:27And then we sit and eat chocolate.
15:29There we go.
15:31You have that there.
15:32What?
15:33That is your time up, unfortunately, Joanna.
15:35Sorry, donkey.
15:41It's just fascinating for me.
15:42There's so much detail.
15:44My feeling is that you just had that story ready in your brain.
15:47Yes!
15:49When I saw the donkey, I had to work with him.
15:51He was beautiful.
15:52The fact that I could put a wig on it.
15:55I could put on him as well and dress him up.
15:57Then I saw, I think it was a police woman's hat.
15:59No, no, no.
15:59I don't need to hear the story again.
16:02LAUGHTER
16:02Well, it was fascinating.
16:04In the context of this show and medically.
16:07LAUGHTER
16:09Who's next?
16:09Who's next?
16:09Well, finally, predictably, it is Armando.
16:13Here we go.
16:14Hello, welcome to a Yorkshire vet.
16:17I'm Scottish.
16:19Vets are Scottish.
16:20James Herriot.
16:22And I'm going to deal with this poor little chappy here.
16:26Mackenzie Crook is his name.
16:28And he's got a thing called Shepparton, which is, he's gone solid on the outside, but his insides are very
16:34liquefied.
16:35And I think it's because he, erm, there's a blockage.
16:38He ate a little wee egg two days ago.
16:41And we're going to see if we can just try and dislodge the egg.
16:45So, I've got some pellets that are full of ruffage.
16:48So, one little pellet goes in.
16:51Hey.
16:52Yeah.
16:53I think we're loosening up.
16:55Second pellet.
16:57Yeah, here we go.
16:58I'll just give her another.
16:59A wee third pellet.
17:01See if that does it.
17:03Oh!
17:04Jeez.
17:06Oh, my word.
17:07He's gone and farted out a fucking horse.
17:11My God!
17:13Mackenzie, you're saved.
17:14We were going to have you on Sunday, but I think we're going to be having that one.
17:21Do you mind reading me your prediction?
17:22Yeah.
17:25I predict a sheep will fart out an ostrich.
17:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
17:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
17:35Yep.
17:36An emotional situation.
17:37I've no notes on this.
17:38This is an excellent piece of work.
17:40You're doing well today, aren't you, baguette boy?
17:43LAUGHTER
17:44Before you do the points, can I just...
17:46I've asked Chris if you'd send me a voice note of a song.
17:49It's going to mess with the scoring system, but as you wish.
17:54Please answer.
17:55I just sent you a voice note.
17:58Can you just confirm for Greg that you did...
18:00This is because I could lose points here, mate.
18:02Can I just say, I'm just thrilled you're alive.
18:05LAUGHTER
18:07This is it.
18:09This is it.
18:09Uh, uh.
18:10It's the...
18:11Can you believe that it's an antelope?
18:14It's not a cantaloupe.
18:17Oh, cos it's an antelope.
18:19Then it was, like, a rap solo for 20 minutes.
18:22Yeah.
18:23OK, thank you very much.
18:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
18:29I loved all of them.
18:31I genuinely did.
18:32So I'm not giving anyone one point.
18:34I love them so much, I'm not giving anyone two points.
18:38Ooh!
18:40I am, however, going to clump together
18:42Amy, Joel and Joanna and give them three points.
18:46Oh.
18:47Amy Joel has given them three points.
18:48OK.
18:49There must be a jump up for the sheer creativity
18:53involved in making time, or that way.
18:57LAUGHTER
18:58And you know what got Armando the five points?
19:01No.
19:01It was the fact that he took some time
19:03to put moisture over the ostrich's face.
19:06LAUGHTER
19:06So, four to Camille, five to Armando.
19:08For the details sometimes.
19:11CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
19:12Scoreboard, please, scoreboard boy.
19:14Yes, you won't believe it.
19:14Armando's got maximum points.
19:16He's in the lead with ten.
19:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
19:19Wow.
19:21May we have another task, please?
19:23Of course.
19:24And it's team time.
19:26Oh!
19:26What's our favourite fish?
19:28Sardines!
19:29LAUGHTER
19:35MUSIC PLAYS
19:42Après trois.
19:44Ooh!
19:47Oh!
19:48Oh!
19:48Oh, no.
19:49That's sad.
19:51After you.
19:53Oh, my gosh.
19:54Wow.
19:56Wow.
19:57It's quite, uh...
19:59Shall we get it out from underneath?
20:00Quite traumatic, yeah.
20:05LAUGHTER
20:07There you go.
20:07He's fine now.
20:08You know what?
20:08I think that's really going to help him.
20:11Yeah, great.
20:12Oh, no.
20:14LAUGHTER
20:15No, I think he's fine,
20:16because he doesn't need to shake,
20:17because he's, like, in the water now,
20:19so...
20:19He's not having trouble breathing.
20:21He's...
20:22If I open this...
20:23And it says,
20:24Do not wet...
20:24And it says,
20:24Keep the fish alive.
20:25Oh, keep the fish dry.
20:28LAUGHTER
20:31Win sardines.
20:32Split up and search for Alex.
20:34Ah!
20:34Oh, yes!
20:35You must not be within sight
20:37of each other while searching.
20:38Except for two of you
20:39who must hold hands at all times.
20:42Also, you must only whisper,
20:44and when you find Alex,
20:45you must stay with him
20:46and remain silent.
20:47Fastest team to all find Alex,
20:49get three sardines in the tin
20:51and shut the lid wins.
20:52Your time started when you opened the task.
20:54Right.
20:55We can't...
20:55Hang on.
20:56OK, so what do we do?
20:57Who wants to hold hands?
20:58I'd like to go with someone.
21:00I don't want to go on my own.
21:02OK.
21:03OK.
21:03Oh, no.
21:04Oh, that felt bad.
21:05No, all good.
21:06Go for it.
21:07Go away, American boy.
21:09LAUGHTER
21:12I'm sorry.
21:14You go...
21:14You go away.
21:15Let's look for Alex,
21:16and we'll look for Alex.
21:16We'll go inside.
21:18It feels so weird
21:19to hold the hand of another woman.
21:20I know.
21:20I'm so sorry to your
21:21beautiful, beautiful wife.
21:24Who can I whisper?
21:26It's like now I'm inviting you home.
21:29LAUGHTER
21:29Don't bother your hands.
21:30It's like we're here.
21:31Sorry, wife.
21:35LAUGHTER
21:37APPLAUSE
21:38APPLAUSE
21:40Pretty straightforward with the team of two,
21:42but, my God, the other team had all sorts of stuff going on,
21:45didn't they?
21:46International bullying, adultery, death of animals.
21:50We'd better get stuck in and see how this plays out.
21:53Sardines.
21:54You love sardines.
21:55We play it together quite often.
21:56You made me hide.
21:57That's the end of the game.
21:59Ready?
22:01LAUGHTER
22:01It's sardines time.
22:04Alex.
22:05Alex.
22:06Alex.
22:11Alex.
22:13Alex.
22:14Alex.
22:14Are you following the jukebox?
22:16I feel like we're searching for someone to have sex.
22:20LAUGHTER
22:22OK.
22:24OK.
22:26OK.
22:26He's got to be outside.
22:27He's got to be outside.
22:29Camille hasn't come in.
22:32Alex.
22:35Well, he's found him, and he's somewhere.
22:39Alex.
22:54This is the ten.
22:56This is the ten.
22:57We need one more, sorry.
22:59Oh, man.
23:03There.
23:03Caravan.
23:04Shall we have sex in the caravan?
23:14Oh
23:15All right, that's what's with friends a couple years ago
23:26I
23:33This is hope it feels so why don't you know what it very seriously
23:39One person was left, sir. They couldn't find it. They were very upset
23:54One more
23:59I've got the clock. You did it. Yeah
24:08I
24:09Didn't turn as messy as I feared at one point. I
24:12Particularly fear to the turn messy when you said it's like we're searching for somewhere to have sex
24:17Next thing you did was open a pretty small spice cupboard
24:22Do you want to talk about the friendship that was ruined last time you played this if our friends watch
24:26it
24:26They will know exactly what we're talking about. My wife is right there. She can corroborate
24:31I corroborate. Thank you
24:34What a great system you guys have got
24:38Jamel found me in five minutes, and I think ironically our friendship started at that point. We had a lovely
24:42chapter there, didn't we?
24:43Yeah, we it was actually very nice. Yeah, I think I'm better at talking to people in the dark not
24:48making eye contact
24:50The others took a further 10 minutes to find me so it was a total of 15 minutes and 10
24:56seconds
24:56Oh
24:59Hey, that's it. We're halfway through. We can't stop now. He's got nothing else in his life
25:03We'll see you in a minute
25:15You know what that means Alex means we need to complete the sardines task. Here's the team of twos attempt.
25:21It's Armando and Joanna
25:23I don't know
25:24To fall find Alex get three sardines in the tin and shut the lid wins so basically our first thing
25:28is find Alex
25:29Alex and the team you go there. I'll go and look. I'll go
25:34Where is Alex? Alex, are you in here? Are you in there? Are you in there?
25:39Oh
25:52Where are you?
25:58Right, sorry
26:01He's not gonna be in a bloody cab, is he?
26:06Where is he?
26:12Hello?
26:16Hello?
26:16Hello, Jonathan.
26:18Where do we get the sardines from?
26:21Where do we get the sardines from?
26:23Well, it's beyond the sardines.
26:25It says, I'll put them in the tent.
26:27Beyond the tent. This is kind of in-shaped.
26:29OK.
26:34I know she's found him.
26:38And I'm now just spending the rest of my days wandering around.
26:49Sardine!
26:54We're having trouble with the four guinea pigs.
26:57They've all got to be neutered.
26:58Yeah. Will you do that?
27:00Yeah.
27:02Yeah, so we've got to put the guinea pigs in a bin outside.
27:06Oh, yeah.
27:06Which we're quite looking forward to.
27:08In a bin?
27:08In a bin.
27:09In a bin.
27:10Yeah.
27:12If they get over the playroom,
27:15my dad can't even go into the same room as them.
27:20I've been here for seven days now.
27:22Please, someone come and find me.
27:33I don't know why that helps.
27:37Er, hang on.
27:39What's this?
27:43Oh!
27:44Quick, get in.
27:45Because all of us have to get in.
27:46Do we?
27:47But we have to find...
27:47We have to find...
27:52Is that glass just shut?
27:53Is it shut?
27:54Is it shut?
27:54Yes.
27:55Everyone breathe.
27:56Let me go.
27:57Your glass is closed.
27:58I've stopped the clock.
27:59We can leave it in.
28:00Thanks, Dean.
28:01You've found me.
28:06You personally neuter guinea pigs in your home.
28:10I don't personally do it, but I did...
28:13I mean, my God, in the space of film,
28:15and I had about...
28:16I had four of them neutered.
28:17OK.
28:18Why can't your dad be in the same room as the guinea pig?
28:20What?
28:21Because of the hay.
28:22And I think he's allergic to them,
28:24and we've only just discovered it.
28:25Oh.
28:25He had to go home.
28:27He had to go back to Swansea.
28:28He had to leave.
28:29He got all...
28:30But that's not the reason why the guinea pigs were neutered?
28:32No, they were neutered.
28:33Because they were getting all aggressive,
28:35and there was a whole big testosterone thing going on,
28:37and it was like, oh, my God, who's the alpha?
28:39Does the crystals not help with any of this?
28:45Why did you keep squeaking that little horn?
28:47I thought the horn might be funny,
28:49and then make wherever you are laugh spontaneously.
28:54Ah!
28:54To kind of smoke you out, in a way.
28:56I do find horns funny.
28:57I do find them funny, yeah.
28:58But I also did become unaware of the passage of time.
29:04Tell me some times, then I'll hand out some points,
29:06then we'll move on.
29:07Team of three took 15 minutes.
29:08Joanna took three minutes 15 to find me.
29:11Yeah.
29:12Amanda took a further nine minutes.
29:15Oh!
29:15So their total was 12 minutes 15 seconds.
29:18They win the task!
29:21So it was five points to Joanna and Amanda,
29:24but how many for the team of three?
29:25Well, they were still pretty quick, weren't they?
29:26Yeah, three and a half minutes behind.
29:28Three points?
29:28Yeah.
29:29Yeah.
29:29OK, three points for the team of three.
29:31There you go.
29:32Very good.
29:33One more task, please.
29:34Yes.
29:34And, without giving too much away,
29:37boink, boink, plop.
29:39Oh.
29:52Hello.
29:54Ooh, wow.
29:55Mm.
29:56Oh, my gosh.
29:57Oh, my gosh.
29:58It's a night.
29:59It's Ollie.
30:01Ollie?
30:01Mm-hmm.
30:02Shall I?
30:02Yes.
30:03Dare I?
30:06Oh, this is so warm.
30:08That's lovely.
30:09Get a ball in the glass.
30:11You may not move the pipe or the glass.
30:15The ball must travel through the pipe,
30:17and you must not do anything to influence the ball's movement
30:21after you release the ball.
30:23Fastest wins.
30:24Your time starts now.
30:26I can move this, though.
30:27Can I move this?
30:28Well, I think if you do that, the pipe might move.
30:30Yeah.
30:31Why is that there?
30:33So I can't physically do anything to do the ball,
30:35but hitting pots and pans to make it in the thing is fine?
30:38I suppose so.
30:39Oh, yeah.
30:39Good idea.
30:45OK, I get it.
30:46Yeah.
30:47We're going to bank some balls off some pans.
30:49Exactly.
30:49They couldn't affect the ball after it was moving with their own bodies,
30:52but if they set something else out, the ball could be affected by that thing.
30:55Right.
30:56Let's chat no longer.
30:57Let's crack on.
30:57OK.
30:58First up, it's bouncy boy, Mr Joel Domit.
31:01Oh.
31:04Interesting.
31:07Let's just see how it goes.
31:09This is fun.
31:10Trial and error, right?
31:18It's inconsistent, though, isn't it?
31:19No, it's exactly the same every time.
31:23Oh!
31:27It's funny that I'm finding this so fun, but I could just do this in my spare time.
31:32It's so exciting.
31:35Oh!
31:36Oh!
31:37Oh!
31:37My heart has beaten faster than it would usually.
31:40I mean, obviously...
31:41Oh!
31:42Oh!
31:45Oh!
31:47Oh!
31:49Oh!
31:52Oh!
31:57Oh, I can't get any more Rimmies.
32:00Oh, man. My life is full of rims.
32:04Ah!
32:09Seems to be bouncing out quite a lot.
32:10Mmm.
32:13Oh!
32:16The knight's done a little wee-wee.
32:18Who does that?
32:20Mate.
32:23This is the one.
32:24Oh, baby!
32:34Come on.
32:39Oh!
32:41Oh!
32:43Ha-ha!
32:45Oh!
32:46Oh, yeah.
32:50I sort of think I should start giving Joel hard.
32:53Half points every time he does a task that I think he'd be doing at home anyway.
32:59This is your area of expertise, no doubt about it.
33:02It's one of the most fun days I've had.
33:05Wow.
33:06Yeah.
33:07I don't get out much.
33:09You'd give it in 14 minutes 50 seconds.
33:11Wow.
33:11That's the standard so far.
33:13Oh, OK.
33:14Next to bounce, two people with great hair and lovely smiles.
33:16It's Amy and Camille.
33:19OK.
33:19I'm not allowed to move the pipe and I'm not allowed to move the glass.
33:23No.
33:23So what are they for?
33:25Well, people do pasta, rice, all sorts.
33:27OK.
33:30OK.
33:34Yeah.
33:35That's never happened to me before.
33:37New strategy.
33:40That's never happened to me before.
33:45All right.
33:57Is there a poltergeist in here?
33:59I mean, you guys see that this is crazy, right?
34:03That's insane, isn't it?
34:05Yeah.
34:06OK.
34:11Oh, my God.
34:12It's not straight, you know?
34:14No, I know.
34:14It's like off.
34:15Is that on purpose or was that a mistake when you guys were setting up?
34:18You don't make mistakes.
34:19We don't make mistakes.
34:21What the fuck?
34:25No.
34:28Oh, can I have a thing?
34:31So I can leave.
34:36What do I want?
34:37I want, um...
34:38What's this?
34:41Um...
34:42A thing?
34:43Like a long sock or a tube?
34:46A long sock?
34:53As long as I don't move it once it's out of my hands, it's fine.
34:56Like, if I can hold it like this.
34:58OK.
35:04Now we're cooking!
35:07Just need to prop that up.
35:11Oh, my God.
35:15Tapey, tapey, tapey.
35:18Oh!
35:28Please.
35:31There has to be another way to do this.
35:33Well, other than using an enormous measuring stick.
35:37I'll be back.
35:46Fuck!
35:47Oh!
35:47If I just keep going?
35:48They're gonna go in.
35:50It's in!
35:54Oh, baby.
35:59No, same again.
36:00I didn't...
36:01I didn't know what I thought was gonna happen.
36:03I think the problem is when it hits the glass, it bounces down.
36:05Yeah.
36:06I think that is the problem.
36:07Yeah.
36:07Very good.
36:07Very good at this.
36:30I've stopped the clock.
36:35What if I'd gotten it in?
36:36Wouldn't it have been triumphant?
36:42Good.
36:42I'm actually in Hollywood that glass ball would have gone in beautifully.
36:46Not here in London, my friend.
36:47We don't have the budget.
36:50Awesome.
36:51Pretty good.
36:52Very good.
36:53Once you remembered the word tube...
36:56LAUGHTER
36:58But the system you created?
36:59Beautiful.
37:00What was a treat?
37:01Yes, and it looked great, too.
37:03LAUGHTER
37:04Really well designed.
37:05She took 22 minutes and 57 seconds.
37:09Longer than I thought.
37:10Less impressive than I thought.
37:12A nice rage starting to bubble up in you, I think.
37:15I fully came undone during that task.
37:17It felt like different parts of me were disconnecting and driving home separately.
37:23LAUGHTER
37:23So, a lot longer than Amy's Heath Robinson creation?
37:27Yes.
37:27Can I guess?
37:28Yes, it won't make any difference.
37:3013 hours?
37:32It was 33 minutes and 40.
37:35I mean, it's a hefty chunk of a day.
37:37Not that bad.
37:38What?
37:38If only you could reverse time.
37:41LAUGHTER
37:45OK, we're pausing once again.
37:47In the final part of the show, someone will head home with a life raft,
37:51meaning that Taskmaster, a futile show on the surface,
37:54might save the life of a comedian when the ice caps melt.
37:58Fink!
38:03APPLAUSE
38:07Hello again. It's part four of the show and we're nearly there.
38:11Now it's time for the final two to try to get the ball in the glass.
38:15It's Joanna and Armana.
38:18So, I can pick out a ball, but, like, how do I get it into the glass?
38:25Yeah, that will help, knowing the answer to that.
38:28Quite useless at once, like this.
38:31I am, right?
38:31I'm useless at anything sort of spatial.
38:38Yeah, I think you're influencing that ball's movement.
38:40I think so.
38:41Thought it'd be useful, but...
38:44I'm going to try.
38:45Right, what happens if I do that?
38:47I'm just going to play several.
38:48Yeah.
38:52Oh!
38:53I mean, forget the task.
38:55I just want to do this now.
38:59Why is there water?
39:03Right, I'm filling this,
39:05cos I may as well just start doing something.
39:07Sure.
39:09So, I've got this.
39:10It's a slightly jollier thing from The Handmaid's Tale.
39:16Right.
39:17Whoa.
39:18I'm so not good at anything sort of like this.
39:23Well, you never know.
39:24Anything kind of spatial.
39:26Nothing can stop you now.
39:29Well, that could.
39:31Get you in there.
39:33You know that phrase, an infinite number of monkeys?
39:36I think we're hitting that point.
39:38Oh!
39:43OK, I'm going to go for it.
39:45Right, I'm going to take a pink one.
39:47Come on.
39:48Go for it.
39:52Did it go in?
39:56I'm going to hold that there.
39:58OK, I've got it.
40:00I'm holding it down.
40:00I'm holding the glass down.
40:04Please, go on.
40:07Yes!
40:08You've got a shakey choke.
40:09You've got a ball in the glass.
40:10I've got a ball in the glass.
40:19The power stance was incredible.
40:22Show a picture of her power stance, please.
40:25Of course.
40:25Of course.
40:26Here it is.
40:27Bang!
40:28Oh, dear.
40:31That's so good.
40:33Why did you say that kind of water?
40:35You know, before I went in, right, they said to me,
40:37you're going to love this one.
40:38And I went in and I thought,
40:39oh, my God, I have no idea how you can put these things together.
40:43And so I saw there was a jug, so I thought, water's involved somewhere.
40:45I'm bringing more water in.
40:47And then I thought, sod this for a laugh, I'm getting a tube.
40:49LAUGHTER
40:53Yeah, that's what happened.
40:54That's what happened.
40:55That's what happened, yeah, the tube is brilliant.
40:58Armando, I wrote down, this is the most fun I've seen Armando have so far.
41:01Yeah, I mean, I've had fun in all the tasks.
41:03I know.
41:03But I thought you were, like, inventing games within games.
41:06Again, lack of awareness of time.
41:09OK, well, we know that Kamal took 33 minutes.
41:12He gets one point for that.
41:14Amy, 22 minutes, is in fourth.
41:16Two points.
41:17Now, then.
41:17Joel, you took 14 minutes and 55 seconds.
41:20Joanna, 13 minutes and 14 seconds.
41:23Ooh.
41:24So you're either first or second, Joanna.
41:28Are you first or are you second?
41:30Armando took 50 seconds and 12 minutes.
41:33He wins the task!
41:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:38OK, everyone, please make you raise the stage.
41:41The final task of the show!
41:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
41:53Joel will read the task out.
41:55Joel.
41:56Domit.
41:59Swing your ring onto your thing to win a ring.
42:03LAUGHTER
42:03If you win a ring, you swing again.
42:06First to win five rings wins.
42:09So, it's going to be individual battles.
42:11First up, Amy versus Kamal,
42:13because they're doing the worst in the episode.
42:14I blow my whistle, you both release your ring at the same time.
42:17Wait, what do you...
42:19LAUGHTER
42:20What do you mean?
42:22Say Amy wins.
42:23She gets a ring on her thing.
42:27On my thing!
42:27Is it based on time or number of attempts?
42:31Time.
42:32Time.
42:32And what if you make time go backwards?
42:38Round one.
42:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
42:43One ring to Kamal.
42:45Ready for round two, Kamal.
42:47Oh, my God.
42:48Yes.
42:51WHISTLE BLOWS
42:51WHISTLE BLOWS
42:51Ooh!
42:57Ooh!
42:59Ooh!
43:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:02It's another ring for Kamal.
43:04Your one more ring from me starting to chant USA.
43:08LAUGHTER
43:10It still sounds threatening to me when people chant that.
43:13LAUGHTER
43:14Next.
43:16WHISTLE BLOWS
43:17WHISTLE BLOWS
43:18WHISTLE BLOWS
43:20Oh, my God.
43:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:24CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:26Do you want to have her first ring?
43:27Armando's first go.
43:29WHISTLE BLOWS
43:30WHISTLE BLOWS
43:31Ooh!
43:35Ooh!
43:35Ooh!
43:37Yeah.
43:38Ooh!
43:40CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:44Ooh!
43:48Ooh!
43:49Ooh!
43:50Oh, man, God.
43:52Oh, I'm having such a good time.
43:55CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
43:58Ooh!
43:59Ooh!
43:59Ooh!
44:00Ooh!
44:03Ooh!
44:03Ooh!
44:04Ooh!
44:05Ooh!
44:05Ooh!
44:10Ooh!
44:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:14You got it, you got it!
44:16Go win!
44:17Oh! That was exciting!
44:20Oh!
44:27What happened to you?
44:28Oh!
44:30USA!
44:33The old foes back.
44:36Wales versus USA.
44:42Ah!
44:44Ah!
44:46What's going on? What's going on?
44:48She's won away from victory.
44:50Oh, I don't understand the beauty of the ring on the play, I can't.
44:54Yeah, I've been playing this since I was a kid.
44:58Huge in Pakistan.
45:00Oh, should I be chanting Pakistan?
45:02Yeah.
45:03OK.
45:04Right.
45:05This could be it.
45:06One more for Kamala and just five more for Amy.
45:08Here we go.
45:11Oh!
45:13It's all over!
45:15You're powerful!
45:17Pakistan!
45:19Pakistan!
45:20Pakistan!
45:23It's over.
45:24And I guess they should come and join me and we'll add that to the final score.
45:28We should, well done.
45:30I'm not the only.
45:34Please!
45:37You do enjoy watching them swing the ring on the thing?
45:39The ring's got swung onto things.
45:41I liked it.
45:41Right.
45:42So, Amy, you didn't get any on, but you get one point for coming last.
45:45Joel and Joanna, joint third with one.
45:48You get three points each.
45:49Amanda, you get four points for coming second.
45:50But the winner of the task was Kamal!
45:52Of course!
45:535.5 ring.
45:55Which makes the scoreboard very interesting.
45:58Wow.
45:58I can't imagine what that's done to the final scoreboard.
46:01Is there one person in second place?
46:03No.
46:03Is there two?
46:05No.
46:05Are there four?
46:06No.
46:06No, it's three.
46:09Joanna, Joel and Kamal in joint second on 16 points.
46:11But the winner, eight points above them, it's Amanda Iannucci!
46:18Amanda Iannucci wins!
46:21Please go up and wield your big things to conceal!
46:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:25So, what have we learnt today?
46:28Well, we've learnt...
46:29Welcome to Taskmaster.
46:31I'm Greg Davis.
46:32Butter me up, put me in the oven for three hours at 200 degrees,
46:36and you've got yourself a succulent roast that's ready to make judgement...
46:40Oh, I know what just happened.
46:42I just made time go backwards.
46:45LAUGHTER
46:48And Joel Dobbert has a tattoo on his head!
46:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:52And, of course, Amanda Iannucci wins!
46:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
47:20AND APPLAUSE
47:21You're welcome.
47:23You're welcome.