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Drag House Rules - Season 2 Episode 3 - The Pain & The Plane
Transcript
00:01Last week on Drag House Rules,
00:04Trinity's sugar-filled go-go juice sent the queens into an all-out war.
00:09How dare you!
00:11Scarlet!
00:12Heidi promised she'd make Scarlet the drama in exchange for immunity pen intel.
00:17And when ex-boyfriend Thomas crashed the party...
00:20Juju B, this is fucked!
00:21...Saphira flattened him in a Fight Club-style throwdown.
00:27Later, the draggled Sephira fled by her own volition.
00:31Sephira, please, please, we'll make fuck y'all!
00:38Somebody wanna explain to me what the fuck happened last night?!
00:41Kirsten, I'm sorry.
00:43We were trying to produce some drama on the show and it went a little too far.
00:48Oh honey, this isn't your fault.
00:50It was entirely her fault! Juju is the one that-
00:52But you two should know better!
00:54Our sweet little Juju here is a first-time producer,
00:57and I'm sure he's trying this little darndest to deal with the numbskulls that surround him!
01:01No, this is my fault.
01:03I should've offered more oversight, but I was trying to be respectful.
01:07You know, it's a little overwhelming.
01:09I'm a straight man in a leadership position on a queer-centered show,
01:12and there's knives and there's dicks and there's-
01:14Jesus! Grow some fucking balls, Gregory.
01:16It's overwhelming!
01:18So what should we do now? Are we bailing Sherry out of jail?
01:21Look, absolutely not!
01:23I'm not risking another gay lucha libre!
01:26I called in a favor.
01:28Plain Jane lands tonight.
01:30You got Plain Jane!
01:32Yes!
01:33Wait, we already shot the first episode.
01:35What about Sherry and Safira?
01:36Way ahead of you.
01:38Tiffany!
01:40Bring in that non-binary whiz kid that does VFX for us.
01:43What's her name?
01:45Aspen Asher?
01:47Aster!
01:47Pretty sure it's Aperture. Apture? Ap-
01:51I don't think so.
01:53Apture.
01:54Y'all heard of a little thing called AI?
01:56Show them what you did earlier, kid.
01:59So yeah, basically we're gonna use new technology to take the shots from day one's lineup,
02:04and basically use composition AI to replace Safira with Plain Jane.
02:12What about Sherry Vine?
02:13We're turning her into a houseplant.
02:18Oh, fantastic!
02:20Great!
02:20So we just have to shoot Plain's walk-in, fake some day one confessional stuff, and we're good, right?
02:26Exactly.
02:27The post team will start with their erasure of Sherry and Safira and let you know if we need any
02:32additional pickups.
02:33Is this ethical?
02:38I think what he means is, should we be filming this?
02:46Turn that shit off!
02:50You know what? Keep it.
02:52Sherry Safira, Chaos Crimes is cheaper than reshoots, and I can't handle any more bad press around this stupid fucking
02:58show.
03:03Whoo!
03:05Yeah!
03:31See you later!
04:05Hey, stupid bitches.
04:11And they say we're not allowed to get violent anymore.
04:13We're definitely gonna jump that ass.
04:16Hey, baby, what are these?
04:18Oh, BB won't come to sat unless she has her cue cards.
04:21Her what?
04:23Cue cards?
04:24Girl, Miss BB sounds like a handful and a half.
04:26Angeria!
04:29Oh, Lord, here comes no fun fanny.
04:32Did I just see your little boy toy fly through here?
04:35No, you did not.
04:37It was all an illusion.
04:39Claymore, we all actually really like Angie's boy toy.
04:42He's real nice.
04:43Hey, sorry, couldn't help overhearing.
04:46You know, what if we use Canon on camera?
04:53No, I don't.
04:54Oh, come on, man.
04:55Show can use a little man meat.
04:57He'd be like Benna White, but for gay people.
05:02Benna White is for gay people.
05:03Look, you can use him for your little show as long as you keep your hands off of him.
05:12Girl, I'm not gay.
05:14I actually believe him.
05:16Sex does sell, and he strikes me as a man who likes capitalism.
05:20I really do.
05:22Mm-hmm.
05:23Glad we're in agreement.
05:25Okay, girls.
05:26Have a great day.
05:31No.
05:32He look gay to me.
05:34Oh, my God, look.
05:35Look at him.
05:37What is he?
05:38Is he polishing Angeria's heel?
05:41He must still be on punishment with what happened with Sherry's mouth.
05:45Ew.
05:47Do you think we'll do mine?
05:49Hey, losers, guess what?
05:51What plane?
05:52You fags are ugly, and your fans are lying to you.
05:55Oh.
05:56Bitch.
05:56Look, I'm not the villain.
05:58I'm the narrative engine.
05:59Without me, this house would be a beige waiting room with wigs.
06:03She's so nasty, raw, and cut.
06:06I know, but at least it's like fresh energy.
06:09Fresh?
06:10Okay.
06:10A lot of these girls had to audition.
06:12I was a direct booking.
06:15You know, I didn't need to, you know, beg, and barter, and suck cock for this role.
06:21Um, I do that for free.
06:37Please don't save me.
06:38Please don't save me.
06:38Please don't save me.
06:45You okay?
06:46What is that?
06:48Demon Slayer.
06:50You ever heard of it?
06:51Is that like a La Boo Boo thing?
06:54Yeah.
06:54It's like a La Boo Boo thing.
06:56I don't do, like, Pokemon.
06:58Yeah, you don't give me anime type.
07:01You give me, like, you watch the Gilmore Gals and cry to yourself at sleep at night.
07:06Okay.
07:08Sorry.
07:09Sorry.
07:09Sorry.
07:10I'm just like, I'm like trying to come over here and like, you know, be like, hey girl.
07:13Yeah, yeah.
07:13But like, you don't really like.
07:14I'm sorry.
07:15You know, I was, I was, girl, I was gaming.
07:17Uh, but, but how are you doing though?
07:20Actually?
07:21Really?
07:22I'm amazing.
07:24Watching your ex get carted away by the police like that?
07:27So deserved.
07:28Honestly, yeah.
07:29I can see it.
07:30I can see it.
07:30But you should thank some fear for that.
07:32Such a boss move the way she just walked off the show like that?
07:35You know, after last night, I thought about it too, but you only get one of those, so.
07:39One of what?
07:40Quitting the show.
07:41I already used mine in 2023.
07:43But if I do it twice, I'll never get booked on TV again.
07:46So.
07:47Oh, that makes sense.
07:48Yeah.
07:49Why would you want to quit?
07:50Hey.
07:51What are you guys talking about?
07:52Your lace, hoe.
07:54Mine?
07:54Your non-existent, non-full frontal lace.
07:58Chopped.
07:59Come here.
07:59You want me?
08:01Look, it was, it was a pleasure meeting you for the first time.
08:04You too.
08:04I'll see you.
08:05God bless you.
08:06Can I come with you then?
08:07No, you stay right there.
08:08You stay right there.
08:13La boo boo.
08:15La boo la boo.
08:17La boo boo.
08:22Sister.
08:24Sister.
08:25Did you get the pin yet?
08:27No.
08:28Jujubee said I'm still not the drama.
08:31Or like that I have to be more of the drama, or the drama needs to be me, or like
08:35I have to be at one with the drama.
08:37I don't know.
08:38It's getting confusing.
08:40Well, just go fight plane.
08:41It's easy.
08:42Yeah, I don't think it's that simple, honestly.
08:45I mean like, plane's fighting literally everyone.
08:48Really?
08:49And stay away from my fucking sandwich lardina as biggies.
08:51I swear to god plane.
08:53Yeah.
08:53Oh god.
08:54Well, I'm sure you'll figure it out.
08:58You are the drama.
09:01Yeah, I'm not so sure anymore.
09:03Clearly the vote is for plane tonight.
09:05That goes without saying.
09:07Mm-hmm.
09:08You said that three times already.
09:10I'm manifesting justice.
09:12Oh.
09:13And maybe next week, we can vote for Trinity.
09:16But why train ya?
09:18God.
09:19Like, of course I respect the legacy or whatever, but like, her drag's a little dated.
09:22She's like, so old.
09:25Like, dusty vintage.
09:26Oh, hey, sister.
09:28Hi.
09:29How you doing?
09:30So, the call sheet said dress for movement.
09:33Did y'all bring that kind of drag?
09:35Honey, you ain't gotta worry about me.
09:36All of my looks off of twirling and whirling.
09:38Mm-hmm.
09:39Yeah, do you need to borrow something?
09:40I mean, we brought a lot of stuff.
09:41I wouldn't wear that.
09:43But I'm good, thanks.
09:46Let me know.
09:48She's such a cunt.
09:49You are a shaded-ass bitch, because you didn't even have to say that.
09:53Oh, God.
09:54Anything but sports.
09:58Mm, ladies, ladies, ladies.
10:01Immunity.
10:02The prize everyone's dying for.
10:05Tonight, one of you will win the privilege to dodge tonight's elimination.
10:09Yes, you will.
10:10Oh, fuck no.
10:12No, I'm not doing that.
10:13Wow.
10:13The rules are simple, people.
10:14One queen will stand on the side of the court while the other queen tries to hit her with
10:18these professional-grade dodgeballs.
10:23Professional-grade?
10:24Playground dodgeballs are made of a low density, no-sting rubber.
10:28Professional-grade is made of a firmer foam that allows you to grip the balls better.
10:32Okay, why do you know this?
10:34I played dodgeball league.
10:36It really helps blow off the steam.
10:38Yeah!
10:39Let's go!
10:41Woo!
10:41Ah!
10:42Ah!
10:43We get to play dodgeball!
10:45Yes, sir!
10:46I'm about to hit these bitches in their face.
10:48Not their face.
10:48It's illegal.
10:49But I'm gonna hit them.
10:49I'm gonna get them.
10:50Yeah.
10:51I'm winning this one, trust.
10:52Be me!
10:53What rules is it?
10:54Federation league?
10:55National rules?
10:56Which one?
10:57I don't know what that means, but the cards say once you hit, you're out.
11:01The queen will survive the longest, wins immunity.
11:06Selena, you're up first.
11:08Okay.
11:09I'm outta here.
11:10Come on, ladies.
11:11Let's get her ass out.
11:13No head shots, okay?
11:14Oh, what if my aim is for and I just happened to accidentally hit her in the head?
11:19I swear to God, plain!
11:21Alright, Selena?
11:22Let the games begin.
11:24With the obvious exception of plain bitch-ass Jane, I feel like these queens have been very,
11:30like, motherly and lovey towards me, you know?
11:32I love it, but I don't know.
11:35Today, something's different.
11:48I may not be good at sports, but I have a lot of experience with balls.
12:07Girl, let's just get her.
12:12What?
12:13I don't wanna get sweaty.
12:15Get her!
12:16Oh, I wanna get you!
12:18Ah!
12:19Ah!
12:20Ah!
12:21Ah!
12:23Ah!
12:24Ah!
12:25That's 30 seconds!
12:26And Jerry is the one to be beat.
12:29Ah!
12:30Ah!
12:33Ah!
12:37Ah!
12:39Ah!
12:41Ah!
12:42Ah!
12:42You know, Patty is a very skinny, small person.
12:46And I'm actually really surprised to see how athletic Heidi is.
12:50Cause I wouldn't expect that.
12:52And somebody of her, you know, spindly shadow.
12:55Girl!
12:56Oh, boy!
13:03Okay, ladies.
13:05Professional grade.
13:07Ah!
13:08Ah!
13:09Heidi is at two minutes.
13:12No!
13:13Uh-uh!
13:15Ooh!
13:15Right here!
13:16Uh-uh!
13:17Come on!
13:24Ah!
13:26Woo!
13:27Good job, Heidi.
13:28That was incredible.
13:29Did I win?
13:29Slow down.
13:30What about me?
13:31Plain Jane!
13:32The time to beat is two minutes and nine seconds!
13:35Piece of cake, girl.
13:36I got this.
13:37Mm-hmm.
13:37We'll see about that.
13:38Hold on to those tits, bitch.
13:41I'm an expert at dodging balls, bitch.
13:45Get at me, bitch.
13:46Get at me, bitch.
13:47Oh!
13:48Oh, shit!
13:51Ah!
13:52Oh, shit!
13:53The fuck?
13:54You fucking bitch!
13:55Ah!
13:57Hey, that's against the rule!
13:58So are fucking headshots, bitch!
14:00Bebe, disqualify her!
14:02She's on testosterone!
14:03You know what, bitch?
14:03Put she shot!
14:05Oh, bitch!
14:06Oh!
14:06Oh!
14:08Oh!
14:08Oh!
14:09This is embarrassing.
14:13Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
14:15We are done here.
14:16Heidi won the immunity.
14:17I'm out.
14:18I don't even know why they got me here.
14:20This is really, really crazy.
14:21Can I have my tea?
14:22Can I have my black car service?
14:24I need to get out of here.
14:25This is real .
14:26Ah!
14:27Ah!
14:28Ah!
14:28You bitch!
14:31Ah!
14:32Girl, please.
14:33Nobody cares about your feelings, Selena.
14:35Wah!
14:36I'm Selena.
14:37Nobody loves me.
14:38My boyfriend just broke up with me.
14:39I take deal loads just to feel something.
14:42Do you believe this?
14:44I mean, I love to take deal loads.
14:46No, I'm talking about plane.
14:48Oh, yeah.
14:49She's pretty bad.
14:50I don't know how she still gets booked.
14:52Girl, this is soft, juicy, profitable.
14:56Pussy, honey.
14:57That's nasty!
15:00Oh, my God.
15:01She is pure chaos.
15:03Mm-hmm.
15:05And she's so good at causing drama.
15:06That's for damn sure.
15:09Yeah, I know.
15:12Girl, what are they doing in there?
15:15But she low-key funny, too, when you think about it.
15:19Yeah, evil.
15:21In, like, a fun, sexy, evil way.
15:28I don't know about sexy, but okay.
15:31Evil, yes.
15:32Definitely evil.
15:38I'm so happy these cameras are on so people can see how disgusting and vile you are.
15:48Damn, y'all need to calm down.
15:50Have some hummus.
15:51Wait, wait.
15:51Oh, you.
15:53Hmm.
15:54What?
15:55She just finger-fucked that hummus.
16:00Girl, you do too much, girl.
16:02Lane, what the fuck is this?
16:04You love my hummus finger.
16:05Don't lie, bitch.
16:06Is there anything you won't put your fingers in?
16:09Vote her out!
16:09I won't put my fingers in that, baby.
16:10Oh, the first time Miss Russia...
16:12Vote her out!
16:13Vote her out!
16:13Don't you look like you're being displeased?
16:15Don't you really?
16:16Vote her out!
16:18Vote her out!
16:19Vote her out!
16:20Vote her out!
16:20She can get all of this out of your bag.
16:23Girl, where the hell is she going?
16:24It was in that moment, that very moment, that I realized, maybe there's more than one
16:32way to be the drama.
16:52Unexpected, but not unwelcome.
16:55She smells like an old woman, but like potpourri.
16:58Like a classy old lady smell.
17:00Right.
17:01Right.
17:04That one?
17:05Feral.
17:06Feral sells.
17:08Juju, Claymore, like wow, just wow!
17:12I mean that kiss?
17:13Come on, you guys, I got mad props on the story producing my brother.
17:19Yeah.
17:20Yes.
17:20Hey, you guys are running this show like pros.
17:26Listen, Network needs me to step out to put out some fires on another show.
17:30You guys okay if I leave?
17:32You got this, right?
17:33Um, absolutely.
17:35Yeah, we got this.
17:36Yeah.
17:36Uh, listen.
17:37Take care.
17:37Just a phone call away, alright?
17:38Sure, sure.
17:40Safe travels.
17:43You scare me.
17:45Good.
17:48Fear gets results.
18:00Scarlett.
18:02Un momento, por favor.
18:05Huh?
18:07One moment.
18:08Please.
18:09Please.
18:09Come here.
18:11Waiting right here.
18:15Uh, camera.
18:16Uh, could you, like, go follow, uh, Selina?
18:20I'm pretty sure she's downstairs in the bathroom waffle stomping a fat turd.
18:25You go.
18:27Okay.
18:29Hi.
18:30Hey.
18:31Is this about our agreement?
18:33Yeah, yeah.
18:33Okay.
18:34Great job, by the way.
18:36Gregory loved the kiss moment.
18:38Oh, man.
18:39Yeah, so much that he left me in charge.
18:41Oh, that's so gross.
18:42Scarlett, I owe you big time.
18:43Yeah, you do.
18:44Oh, literally.
18:46An immunity pen.
18:47You said you would give me one.
18:48Right, right.
18:48But, but, you know, I can't exactly tell you where it is.
18:52But you promised.
18:57Fine.
18:58Upstairs.
18:59Okay.
18:59In the office.
19:00On the bookshelf.
19:01To the left.
19:03Behind Lord of the Flies.
19:05Oh, my God.
19:05That's so fitting.
19:06Right?
19:07Yeah.
19:07Yeah.
19:08Okay, thank you so much.
19:09You're welcome.
19:10You're welcome so much.
19:11Oh, okay.
19:12Yeah, okay.
19:17What the fuck?
19:22Ladies, this week you painted, you posed, and you threw dodgeballs like your rant depended
19:30on it.
19:31But now, the music fades, the lashes listen, and the fantasy files for unemployment.
19:36And now, my darlings, it comes down to the vault.
19:41Write down the name of the queen you wish to send home.
19:45Or, as I like to say, the next soul banished from this glittery hell.
19:50Remember, karma has excellent penmanship.
19:55You may now begin.
20:18Now, now, now, now, now, now, now, before we take a look at the vaults.
20:23If any queen has a miniature pen they would like to use, speak now.
20:31Okay.
20:33Then I will now tally the votes.
20:35I want to try to aim .
20:38I'm definitely going .
20:48Oh.
20:51Selena STD.
20:56Plane Jane, Selena STDs, Selena STDs, Selena STDs, Selena STDs, Selena STDs.
21:10How? You guys, we talked about voting for Plane. She's a monster.
21:15Wait, who? Why? It was me.
21:18Why?
21:19You did say her drag was dated, remember?
21:22Y-yeah, but you kind of-
21:25Sayonara, kiddo. You think you're a star? Well, I built the galaxy.
21:33Ooh! Bye, pumpkin! Bye, bitch!
21:39You did not have to say that!
21:45Oh, shit.
21:47Come on, you!
21:49Nope.
21:50Nope.
21:51Come on, whoo!
21:54Come on.
21:56Right here!
21:57Uh-uh.
21:58Come on!
21:59Ah!
22:00Ah!
22:16Um...
22:17Did I win?
22:23That win?
22:25No!
22:25Oh, my.
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