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14:05Oh, er, well, it's just us.
14:08Yeah, I thought we could catch up and have a chance to talk, you know.
14:11Talk about what?
14:13You know, things. Come on through.
14:28And he grabs my laptop and runs.
14:31I mean, he's, what, six foot three, on muscles.
14:33I mean, he's only 25 years old.
14:34So he runs like a gymnast, out the front door, gone.
14:38And I run, I run after him, into the street.
14:41Then I hear this click.
14:42It's the door closing behind me, locked.
14:44And I'm standing there, absolutely naked.
14:47My God, no way. Yeah.
14:49I'm standing in the middle of the street, stark, bullock naked.
14:51I got to rescue him. Yeah.
14:53Did that really happen?
14:58All hanging out, for all the world to see.
15:01A couple of days.
15:07But that's it.
15:08Because Trump is fixing the court so he can stay for a third term.
15:11Why not a fourth?
15:13Because you know what this is?
15:16The dark age.
15:18It's a new dark age.
15:19If I live for 30 more years, I will die before the dark age ends.
15:25This is it, now.
15:27For life.
15:28Oh, I've missed all this.
15:29Stephanie Soothsayer.
15:31It's a little bit doom scrolling, don't you think?
15:35Maggie, you can't seriously say these are good times, can you?
15:38Oh, hardly, no, but I think we're in a state of panic.
15:41I don't think it helps.
15:44I panic, apparently.
15:45But that's not what she means.
15:46I just think we can all worry, but we need to do something.
15:55So we are just sort of a little bit of good in the world, yeah?
16:02Yeah.
16:04That's what we wanted to say.
16:05I mean, it was not a big deal, we just didn't want you to hear it second hand.
16:09We are going to foster.
16:13We did the panel on Monday, and they've said yes.
16:16So, going to be foster parents.
16:18Oh!
16:19I think that's brilliant.
16:22Well done.
16:24Nice.
16:25That's amazing.
16:27Bit changes.
16:28There's such a shortage.
16:29I mean, there is such a shortage.
16:31Although...
16:34Poor kid's having to listen to you two.
16:38We're terrified.
16:40And we did try, but...
16:42I'm 45 now, and that's not going to happen.
16:45And this is the next best thing.
16:47It's equally good.
16:48Yes, it's... exactly.
16:50Sorry.
16:52Mum and Dad.
16:55Here's to you.
16:57Congratulations.
16:58We need people like you.
17:02You get a lot of money.
17:03That's why we're doing it.
17:04Cold, hard cash.
17:05It's the only reason.
17:06It's just you never said when we were together.
17:09You never said you wanted kids.
17:11I didn't back then.
17:13What changed?
17:14Nothing.
17:15I suppose I was a different person.
17:16I know you better.
17:18No.
17:21Don't.
17:27Right. Are we all done?
17:28We've got a lovely tiramisu.
17:30Yeah.
17:30All good?
17:32I'll give you a hand.
17:57All good?
17:59I'll give you a hand.
18:00It's a great nightmare.
18:01I might regret every single second.
18:03You can't fuck up their lives, you know.
18:05Children.
18:08Because they'll have had a hard enough time already.
18:10You don't need to come into a house that's...
18:15austere.
18:17Oh, that's what I am, is it?
18:19Well, I was always the one who was a laugh.
18:22I mean, sorry, but our mates did not come round for a hoot with Curtis.
18:25Oh, yeah, you're so funny.
18:26I'm laughing.
18:26It's just that you never said anything, ever, about kids.
18:29Jimmy adopted.
18:30You never said a word.
18:31Not a hint.
18:33It's like I never knew you.
18:36Except, well...
18:38I didn't, did I?
18:41You know, it's really stupid...
18:44since you left...
18:47eating...
18:48on my own.
18:50Sitting there, cut it up into little pieces.
18:53I eat.
18:53I put down the fork.
18:54I wash up.
18:55Just all that ceremony.
18:57Okay.
18:58And then I shit.
18:59I shit.
19:00And I eat.
19:01Might as well be a tube.
19:02That's my life.
19:03I'm a tube.
19:05Do you still have your key?
19:06Have I what?
19:07Your key to the house.
19:08Have you still got it?
19:08Er, I...
19:09I don't know.
19:10Maybe.
19:11I didn't formally hand it over.
19:12Why would you like me to?
19:13No, it's just like...
19:18You haven't been back, have you?
19:20To the house?
19:22I see.
19:23It's just things keep moving.
19:26When I'm not looking, it's...
19:28I feel like I'm going mad.
19:29I come back home and...
19:30it's like things have been moved.
19:33Like a glass.
19:35Or a bottle.
19:37A letter.
19:38Or a book.
19:39It's the wrong way round.
19:43I had a little bit less wine.
19:47And then I turned on the TV.
19:48You know when you turn on the TV,
19:49it goes to the last channel you were on?
19:50When I turn it on, it goes to channel 161.
19:53What the hell is 161?
19:57You okay?
20:01Yeah.
20:03It's not me.
20:05No, I didn't...
20:06I didn't...
20:07think it was.
20:08I don't really think there's anyone in your house.
20:13No.
20:18I've gone.
20:21Yeah.
20:23I've left you, darling.
20:25I've gone.
20:39I love you.
20:44You okay?
20:46Yeah.
20:50Yeah, yeah, yeah.
20:59No, no, no, wait, I took the best bit, Maggie, soap story, Baron Maggie, what she said, did that really
21:09happen?
21:10Oh my god, yeah, how'd you kill a fucking story? Did that really happen? Oh, hardly.
21:16Hardly, she said that, ooh, hardly, Downton Abbey, hardly.
21:22Ah, that's why she snared him, to be a mother, that's what she wanted all this time, I said so.
21:29You know what I'm going to do tonight? I'm going to get laid, I'm going to get fucked and battered
21:34and rimmed, I am so going to get rimmed.
21:38Did you know that Curtis has never eaten arson his entire life?
21:41Yeah, he did tell me.
21:42He don't eat it with some coriander, but tonight's the night.
21:48All right, my darling, goodnight. Bend over, Scotland.
21:56Don't worry, I've only had two beers, so I won't turn up on over. This is Leo, my gay neighbour.
22:01Oh, if that's not offensive.
22:02Well, it is. So watch it. Don't talk to an employer like that.
22:12Jesus.
22:18You little fuckers. Big fuckers. Hot, eerie, hungry.
22:30Yes. Come on.
22:52Found ya. Hello. I'm Dave. I know it says Francesco on the app, but, er, Francesco gets more results, so,
23:00er, anyway, it's Dave, really.
23:02Yeah, hi, I'm Leo. And that's your real name?
23:05Yes.
23:06Good start. There's a lot of liars on that thing.
23:14Ooh, nice place.
23:16Thanks.
23:17Do you own it?
23:18I do, yeah.
23:21It's nice.
23:23And is it just you?
23:24Just me. And that is how it's going to stay, I'm afraid, just me.
23:30Um, I'm fine with being on my own.
23:35I didn't come round to marry ya.
23:37No, but, hmm.
23:40I've changed my mind.
23:43I'm just not up for it tonight.
23:45I thought I was, but I'm not.
23:46And, you know, when it just goes.
23:50You kidding me?
23:51Sorry.
23:56Another one.
24:01You know I came all this way.
24:02Well, 662 meters, not that far.
24:06Piss off.
24:08I will.
24:30Oh, fuck.
24:39Well, so cool.
24:48I'm not enough.
24:48I'm not enough.
24:49I said, yeah.
24:50I've been to a little school-speaking university.
24:52Oh, shit.
24:56Good, I'm not enough.
24:59But, I'm not enough.
25:07Go ahead.
25:08My известно to the library.
25:08I told you to show us it.
25:11Bye-bye.
25:25I won't be just talking about that.
25:28I don't blame them.
25:29Your own friends treat you like shit.
25:31Yeah, you'd know.
25:31They might as well piss on the floor.
25:33I'm giving a shot.
25:43I don't care.
26:18Does your mum know?
26:25I want to know why you would look at something so disgusting!
26:45What's...
27:16Fuck you! Fuck off then! Fuck off, kid!
27:40Fuck off, kid!
28:32Fuck off, kid!
28:51Fuck off, kid!
28:54Fuck off, kid!
28:55Fuck off, kid!
29:13I don't know.
29:42I don't know.
30:10I don't know.
30:57I love you.
30:58I love you.
31:02I still love you.
31:04I love you.
31:45I love you.
31:49I love you.
32:21I love you.
33:14I love you.
33:33I love you.
33:46I love you.
34:04I love you.
34:24I love you.
34:48I love you.
34:51I love you.
35:44I love you.
35:47I love you.
36:09I love you.
36:26I love you.
36:34I love you.
37:11I love you.
37:26I love you.
37:51I love you.
37:58I love you.
38:42I love you.
38:46I love you.
39:35I love you.
39:50I love you.
39:56I love you.
40:21I love you.
40:45I love you.
41:07I love you.
41:34I love you.
42:05I love you.
42:21I love you.
42:34I love you.
42:57I love you.
43:31I love you.
43:59I love you.
44:08I love you.
44:36I love you.
45:04I love you.
45:24I love you.
45:32I love you.
45:53I love you.
46:07I love you.
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