- 3 hours ago
Top 10 Viral Names - Max Amini - Stand-up Comedy
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00:00I'm from Iraq. You're from Iraq? What's your name? Tito. Tito? Where are you from? Iraq. What's your name? Tito.
00:14I have big muscles. I kill you. Tito? Muhammad, change your name. Find something better. He is really Muhammad?
00:31How did Muhammad become Tito? With all those muscles? How did you pick Tito? Seriously. How did you pick Tito?
00:43By accident? Were you at a gay club? You look like a Tito. Oh my goodness, I like Tito. I
00:54take the name.
00:59Indians. Where are my Indians at? Nice to see you, buddy. I like that guy. What's your name?
01:09Suck dick. Suck dick?
01:11Suck dick? I appreciate the offer.
01:26Thank you so much for coming tonight. I'm sure you're very busy all day.
01:37I'm going to talk to you for the rest of the show.
01:41You're in a relationship?
01:50What's his name?
01:55Oh, you're straight.
01:57Just suck dick. I get it.
02:03My brother, I love you, man.
02:06From the bottom of my heart, you have a great sense of humor.
02:08But please, change your name.
02:13There's a beautiful Indian name that I can help you with.
02:16It's one of my favorite Indian names.
02:18Eat pussy.
02:20It's a much better name.
02:23Eat pussy.
02:25Eat pussy.
02:28Much better than suck dick.
02:31Only because you're straight.
02:33Now, if you weren't straight, that would have been a perfect name.
02:37Wow, you would have been the luckiest gay guy ever.
02:40Suck dick. Okay, no problem.
02:44What do you do for a living?
02:46I suck dick.
02:49I'm joking.
02:50I'm joking. That would have been f***ed up.
02:52I would never stop.
02:53Max, stop!
02:55I'm going to stop.
02:57Because you...
02:58I mean...
03:02I love how you're laughing so hard.
03:04You're amazing, dude.
03:05What's your job?
03:06What do you do?
03:06I'm a sap analyst.
03:08You're a...
03:08Sap analyst.
03:10SAP.
03:11SAP?
03:13Do you know what that is?
03:15He has no idea.
03:17IT?
03:18Are you also Indian?
03:20She translated for me.
03:23Max, I mean you're stupid.
03:26Everybody knows what that is.
03:28I tell you the abbreviation stands for IT.
03:33I appreciate it.
03:34Do you know suck dick?
03:38He's the nicest guy in the world.
03:42In Australia, when you say your name, do people like joke with you?
03:47Nobody.
03:48They get scared, huh?
03:49They're like, oh, s***.
03:52Now, Mike.
03:53Now, Mike.
03:55He'd run away.
03:59My mice guy will suck my dick.
04:03Alright, we're going to stop here, okay?
04:06Can I be honest?
04:10You have super power with the name suck dick, you know?
04:13Well, to be able to live in a society, English-speaking country, and you're like, no, I'm not going to
04:18change my name.
04:19I am suck dick.
04:21It's a beautiful Indian name.
04:23You don't like it?
04:24Suck my dick.
04:33And I want to say, I swear to God, Indians, not only the nicest people, but they have the best
04:39sense of humor in the motherf***ing world.
04:41And you're the prime example of it.
04:46What a dude, man.
04:48Ten minutes, we talked about his name, and he didn't even give a s***.
04:55Are you Greek?
04:56Yes.
04:56I want to learn some Greek names.
04:58What's your name?
04:59Mario.
04:59Mario?
05:00Oh, that's Italian.
05:03You guys have very interesting names.
05:05What's your name?
05:07Spiros.
05:07Spiros.
05:07I love that.
05:09Why didn't you get a cool name like Spiros?
05:13Right here.
05:15Right here.
05:16What's your name?
05:17Kiriakos.
05:20No.
05:22Your name is Kiriakos?
05:25It's a Greek name.
05:28Kiriakos.
05:31In my language, it is the worst two names next to each other.
05:40Kiriakos.
05:47Oh, his name is Kiriakos?
05:56Dude, you get this.
05:58Straight up.
05:59Where are you from?
06:01Greek.
06:03How do you say dick in Greek?
06:06Pans.
06:08Why did you change your mind halfway through?
06:11You said something and you go,
06:13No, I changed my mind.
06:15No.
06:16A lot of words.
06:18What's the worst?
06:20Because this is the worst for us.
06:25Hold on.
06:26I don't understand.
06:26What is it?
06:28Putos.
06:29Putos?
06:31Putos.
06:32And then what's the opposite?
06:34The worst.
06:35Me.
06:41When you say it, do you have to be this?
06:45Yeah?
06:46You say,
06:46Moony.
06:50Putos.
06:53Moony.
06:54Putos.
06:56This guy,
06:57this guy does sign language at the same time.
07:01So the prime minister's name
07:03is Putos Moony.
07:06You get it?
07:12You come to Iran
07:13and you go,
07:14Who's the prime minister?
07:15Putos Moony.
07:17Putos Moony.
07:22What's that?
07:24You came from Iceland?
07:26Ask her name.
07:27Ask her name?
07:27Sure.
07:28What's your name?
07:33Say it again.
07:41Go again.
07:43Oh my God.
07:46I was wrong again.
07:48That's a really beautiful name.
07:52That's really your name?
07:55You were born with that name?
07:57Can I ask an honest question?
07:59Your mom and dad,
08:01they have speech impairment?
08:02So when you're born,
08:03the nurse is like,
08:04what should we name the name?
08:11Excuse me,
08:12what is it?
08:13One second.
08:16Okay,
08:16we got it.
08:22The nurse walks away with it.
08:25And no one can ever say her name,
08:28ever.
08:29Even the parents,
08:30they have a paper next to them all the time.
08:32Jennifer.
08:35Linda.
08:42You're so cute.
08:46That's why you have a nickname,
08:48which is...
08:52What is it?
09:00The nickname is harder than the name.
09:07She goes,
09:07no.
09:09Well,
09:09you're so beautiful.
09:11From Iceland,
09:11yeah?
09:12Yeah,
09:13it must have been cold the day you were born.
09:15That's why
09:16your parents were stuttering that day.
09:27You guys like it?
09:29Like...
09:32It's like,
09:33you cannot say her name
09:34without spitting out...
09:41How romantic is it for the husband?
09:43I love you.
09:49Give me a kiss.
09:53She's standing there like...
09:57I love you too.
10:01Oh,
10:02that's so good.
10:03Husband,
10:03what's your name?
10:05You don't have a husband?
10:07Well,
10:07if you change your name,
10:08you find love.
10:14Really,
10:14I'm so glad you guys came.
10:16What's your name?
10:16James.
10:17James?
10:18Very Chinese.
10:21What about you,
10:22honey?
10:22Sonia.
10:23Sonia?
10:23You guys have the easiest Chinese names
10:26I've ever heard in my life.
10:27James and Sonia.
10:29Is that your real name?
10:30What is your real name?
10:31Muqiao.
10:32Muqiao.
10:33I like Muqiao.
10:35Muqiao sounds very cool,
10:37man.
10:37And it's easy.
10:39And James,
10:40what's your real name?
10:41Muqiao.
10:41Muqiao?
10:42Yes.
10:42F***ing easy.
10:45But very confusing,
10:47right?
10:48Hi,
10:48I'm Max.
10:49Muqiao.
10:53Muqiao.
10:53Muqiao,
10:54my name is Max.
10:56Well,
10:56my parents named me Max.
10:58Muqiao.
10:59Muqiao.
11:01That's why you're changing James.
11:02That's why you're changing James.
11:02Yeah,
11:02yeah,
11:03yeah.
11:04I love that.
11:05I love your name.
11:06Muqiao.
11:06Sir,
11:07you got the job.
11:08Muqiao.
11:11Are you not sure that you're good at this job?
11:13How?
11:15I love you two.
11:16I'm so happy you're here,
11:17yeah?
11:18And I love you more,
11:19honey.
11:20I'm very happy that I have more and more Chinese fans,
11:23you know?
11:23It's great.
11:24I love the Chinese culture.
11:25Yeah?
11:26How?
11:28I explain.
11:29I love fortune cookies.
11:31And I crack it.
11:32It's just a sound.
11:34And you just pull that thing out.
11:35And it says something so positive,
11:37so beautiful.
11:39Your dick will grow longer.
11:44Drink more green tea.
11:48So wonderful.
11:49How long have you been living in Austin?
11:5126 years.
11:5226 years?
11:53You're kidding me.
11:55How?
11:57No,
11:58no,
11:58I'm not saying how.
11:59I'm saying 26 years.
12:00How?
12:01How?
12:01Wow.
12:02How?
12:04That's wonderful.
12:05And what do you do here now?
12:06I'm not a physician.
12:07You're a physician.
12:12Chinese don't age.
12:14He looks 22 years old.
12:17Wow.
12:18Okay,
12:18good for you.
12:18What kind of physician?
12:19You're a doctor.
12:20Family doctor.
12:21Smart business,
12:22right?
12:22You meet a family,
12:23you go,
12:24I kill all of you.
12:27How?
12:29Let's go.
12:30I show you.
12:35What's your name, sir?
12:36Darius.
12:37Darius?
12:38Darius.
12:39Vadius.
12:41Vadius.
12:44Vadius.
12:45Vadius?
12:47Okay,
12:47and where are you from?
12:49Virginia.
12:50Virginia.
12:51I've never heard a name.
12:54Vadius.
12:55It's a Greek god.
12:56Oh, really?
12:57It's a Greek god?
12:58Did you tell?
12:58Look at me.
13:00You look like a Greek god.
13:02And are you Greek?
13:04No.
13:08You're so white,
13:09you're like,
13:10I need something interesting.
13:12I need to change my name
13:14to Varius.
13:15I like it.
13:16That's your lady with you?
13:18Nice to meet you, darling.
13:20What's your name?
13:20Stacy.
13:21Stacy?
13:22Oh,
13:22you're so beautiful.
13:24Thanks for coming.
13:25Do you guys work for, uh,
13:27ice?
13:33I should ask.
13:36It's a safety thing.
13:40It's very rare.
13:41I have two super white,
13:44white,
13:44extra white,
13:45transparent white,
13:48various type of white.
13:50I'm very happy you're here,
13:52even if you, uh,
13:53kick us all out of the country.
14:00What?
14:04My name is Payam,
14:06but I go by Payam?
14:09Payam.
14:10Her name is Payam,
14:12but she goes by Payam.
14:16Payam.
14:17In the Iranian culture,
14:18it's a,
14:19it's a guy's name.
14:22When she was born,
14:23they thought she has a,
14:30when she was born,
14:31her arm was between her legs.
14:35It's a boy.
14:36It's a boy.
14:37It's a big boy.
14:40Look how big this boy is.
14:42Oh my God.
14:44Payam,
14:44in the Iranian culture,
14:46means message.
14:47Like,
14:48he's coming out with a big message.
14:53And then they're like,
14:54no,
14:54it's her arm.
14:55Oh shit.
14:57We named her Payam already.
14:58Okay,
14:59how about Pam?
15:00Go by Pam.
15:03This guy,
15:04fun.
15:05Look how fun this guy is
15:06with his gym outfits.
15:08Buddy,
15:09you're so tall.
15:116'4 or something,
15:12huh?
15:12How tall are you?
15:146'4,
15:15exactly.
15:17What's your name?
15:19Romack.
15:24His name is Romack.
15:28For my non,
15:29let me,
15:29let me explain.
15:30For my non-persons.
15:31In the Iranian culture,
15:35Romack is a girl's name.
15:43He was born.
15:47Nothing was there.
15:50They're like,
15:51oh my God,
15:51it's a girl.
15:53Romack it is.
15:57Two weeks later,
15:59something poked out.
16:06They're like,
16:07oh my God,
16:07something is happening.
16:10Oh my God,
16:11Romack is a guy.
16:16I've never met a Romack
16:18this big in my life.
16:21What's your name?
16:22What's your name?
16:22Romack.
16:27What's your name?
16:28Elspeth.
16:29Aspen?
16:31I said,
16:32not Aspen.
16:33She said,
16:34not Aspen.
16:37I want to get your name right.
16:38Say it one more time.
16:40Elspeth.
16:41Elspeth.
16:43Elspeth.
16:43Elspeth.
16:44Okay,
16:44I did good.
16:45Elspeth.
16:46Yeah?
16:47Okay,
16:48let's get to know
16:49a few more Norwegian.
16:50Sir,
16:50what's your name?
16:51Andreas.
16:51Andreas?
16:52Very easy.
16:53Even easier than Elspeth.
16:55Okay?
16:56Andreas.
16:57Buddy,
16:58what's your name?
16:59Stig.
16:59Stig?
17:01Are you sure?
17:04Why did it end?
17:06Stig?
17:07There's no ending to the name?
17:10They just left it halfway.
17:13Stig.
17:16Ask your parents.
17:19They might have forgotten
17:20to finish it on paper, yeah?
17:22Stig.
17:22Like,
17:23it should be an ending to it, no?
17:28I'm happy you came to my show.
17:30What's your last name?
17:32Ha ha!
17:34Dickinson!
17:35Let me tell you a story
17:37real quick, Dickinson.
17:38I did have a friend
17:40at age seven, yeah?
17:42Age seven,
17:43I brought one of my friends home.
17:44When you're a young Persian kid,
17:45you live in America,
17:46you bring your friends home,
17:47it's very scary
17:49because your white friends
17:50need to be already educated
17:53before they meet your parents, yeah?
17:55I'm seven, eight years old.
17:57I was very young.
17:58I'm bringing my friends home,
17:59and I said,
18:00hey, bro,
18:00when you come in,
18:01when you see my parents,
18:02just,
18:02if they said anything,
18:03just pretend it's cool, okay?
18:05Don't be scared.
18:05They're really nice people,
18:06but sometimes they come off scary,
18:08but they're really nice people, okay?
18:10It's like,
18:10all right,
18:11well, it's okay.
18:11So the kid walks into my house,
18:13my dad,
18:14who is this?
18:16Who are you?
18:17Who is your family?
18:19What does your father do?
18:22Where do you come from?
18:24It's so intense.
18:26Then he goes,
18:27my name is Dick.
18:27Dick!
18:29Oh my God!
18:31Your parents call you Dick.
18:35Dick!
18:36Honey,
18:36they call him Dick.
18:39How does your mother call you?
18:41Dick, come in.
18:42Dick, go out.
18:44And then he got mad.
18:46Get this dick out of my house!
18:48Get this dick out of my house!
18:52And I was a kid,
18:53I'm like,
18:53Dad, relax,
18:54I like Dick.
18:59That's the last day
19:00I saw Dick Dickinson.
19:07Buddy,
19:08what kind of piss
19:08you had to take
19:09in the middle of the most important part
19:10of the street you got up.
19:12There was a make-out scene
19:13and you're like,
19:14I don't care,
19:15I'm going to peace.
19:17You missed the most epic part
19:19of the show.
19:20Isn't that that much
19:21of an emergency, bro?
19:23You're a big guy too,
19:24you got up,
19:25the whole theater emptied.
19:28What's your name?
19:30Jihad.
19:31Jihad?
19:31Oh, buddy,
19:32take it easy.
19:34Thank you so much.
19:37You can leave
19:38anytime you like.
19:40We want to make peace
19:41with you.
19:43My name is
19:44Allahu Akbar.
19:46Take it easy,
19:47okay?
19:49Why?
19:50Why did you even
19:50show up tonight?
19:52You're scaring everybody.
19:56You kept your name.
19:58Wow.
20:00How do you live
20:00in Canada?
20:03Who gives a job
20:04to this guy?
20:04Hi,
20:04what's your name?
20:05Jihad.
20:07Can you imagine
20:08this guy working
20:08customer service?
20:09Hello,
20:09thank you for calling
20:10Tim Horden.
20:11This is Jihad speaking.
20:15Is that your real
20:16birth name?
20:18No?
20:21His name was like
20:22Majid.
20:22He's like,
20:22not good enough.
20:24He's going around like,
20:25my name is Majid.
20:26Can you say,
20:27oh, nice to meet you.
20:28Oh,
20:28it doesn't scare them.
20:30I'm going to change it
20:31to Jihad.
20:41Jihad.
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