- 2 days ago
Bob Tree (Tom Green) is a chronically unemployable klutz who tries to find a career by going through jobs alphabetically.
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:23I am the matriarch of a great American family taking on the ultimate challenge, the perfect
00:00:29family meal.
00:00:31I understand, Mama Clara.
00:00:32Working in a small takeout franchise is traditionally a gateway to bigger and better things.
00:00:37I understand, Mama Clara.
00:00:38You create synergies, you solve problems.
00:00:41I understand, Mama Clara.
00:00:42But that is what happens when I go to the bathroom and leave you in charge of the french fries.
00:00:47Well, give me another chance.
00:00:50Give your Uncle Bob another chance.
00:00:52Bob, you're no uncle and I'm no mama.
00:00:54The cute names are company policy.
00:00:57That's all just feel good stuff so they can pay you less.
00:01:00We're a family.
00:01:01Look around.
00:01:03Dad!
00:01:05See?
00:01:05Are you okay?
00:01:06Dad.
00:01:08We're family.
00:01:10This is my real father, Bob.
00:01:12There's a difference.
00:01:13Go, we can do it.
00:01:15Go, we can do it.
00:01:23Go, we can do it.
00:01:29This rock got to roll
00:01:32So I hit the road and made my getaway
00:01:37Restless feeling
00:01:40Sorry!
00:01:41I started searching for the bed
00:01:48No, no, no!
00:01:52No, no, no!
00:01:53No, no, no! Stop, stop, stop, stop!
00:01:56Stop!
00:01:57Stop!
00:02:01Help!
00:02:04Help!
00:02:06Grab one of this rope here
00:02:09Pull it
00:02:11Ah!
00:02:12Ah!
00:02:15Ah!
00:02:16Peace!
00:02:19Hi, people
00:02:23Oh!
00:02:25Save the fishies!
00:02:26Save the fishies!
00:02:27Save the fishies!
00:02:29Save the-
00:02:47I'm an astronaut!
00:02:48I'm a ballerina!
00:02:49I'm an astronaut!
00:02:50I'm a ballerina!
00:02:52Oh!
00:03:06Oh!
00:03:07Oh!
00:03:07Oh!
00:03:08Oh!
00:03:10Oh!
00:03:11I'd say it did, took me with the time
00:03:18Ha, what's going on about that?
00:03:20I'd say it did, took away my pride
00:03:24There's nothing no without the time
00:03:28Oh!
00:03:30Ooh!
00:03:40I'm gonna need a bigger board
00:03:44It's not a big deal, rascal
00:03:46We're only on the bees, remember
00:03:49Got all this to go
00:03:50Okay, so we did burger assistant
00:03:52Next up, we have business consulting
00:03:57Butcher
00:03:59Oh, whoa
00:03:59Hey, listen to this
00:04:01Listen
00:04:03Cosmopolitan butler school
00:04:06Become part of a family in five days
00:04:09Rascal
00:04:11We're going buddling
00:04:38Do you think you're going to be a lassie?
00:04:439.30
00:04:47Good morning, students
00:04:49Good morning, sir
00:04:51Two lines, please
00:04:55My name is Butler
00:04:57I'm a born butler in all senses of the phrase
00:05:00I come from a long line of butlers
00:05:02In only five days, you will each receive a certificate of competence to wait on any family on this side
00:05:10of the pond
00:05:10For those of you that are interested
00:05:12For those of you that are interested, the full English course lasts a further 17 years
00:05:16Standards are slightly higher
00:05:18So, what does a butler do?
00:05:24Answer
00:05:24Anything
00:05:26He must cook
00:05:27Clean
00:05:28Tend the garden
00:05:29Groom the horses
00:05:30Write letters
00:05:31Iron shirts
00:05:32Arrange appointments
00:05:33Greet guests
00:05:34Run baths
00:05:35Buy groceries
00:05:36Pack cases
00:05:37Unpack cases
00:05:39Make reservations
00:05:40Cancel reservations
00:05:41And still find time to be a confidant
00:05:44Understood?
00:05:46Yes, sir
00:05:47Yes, sir
00:05:47Yes, sir
00:05:51Grooving is crucial to the role
00:05:56Substantial facial hair is quite unacceptable
00:05:59Rabbi, how would you serve soup?
00:06:02Neither
00:06:02Either it goes
00:06:04Or you go
00:06:05Yeah
00:06:09Butlers must be immaculately dressed
00:06:12So, what's your excuse, you miserable heap of mess?
00:06:16This is me tidying
00:06:17Not in my book
00:06:18Do you possess any offensively tasteless tattoos perpetrated in a drunken haze?
00:06:26No
00:06:28Any piercings of body parts?
00:06:30I do have a series of small holes in my tongue from when I was six
00:06:33My cousin, he gave me a black sea urchin thing and told me it was a chocolate muffin
00:06:37I think they've grown over
00:06:43Show me your nipples
00:06:46My nipples?
00:06:48Yes, your nipples
00:06:56Hmm
00:06:58Can't blame a man for asking
00:06:59Frankly, you look the weird sort
00:07:02I'm weird
00:07:23Come on, come on
00:07:35This elevator has already left
00:07:38Stop that, you're causing a delay
00:07:40I have an important meeting
00:07:41If it was so important, you would have left earlier, like I did
00:07:44Mother, you're embarrassing us
00:07:46Stop
00:07:47Stop
00:07:48Stop
00:07:48Stop
00:07:48Stop
00:07:48Stop
00:07:48Stop
00:07:49Stop
00:07:49Stop
00:07:50Stop
00:07:50Stop
00:07:51Stop
00:07:51Stop
00:07:51I'm a rude person
00:07:52Suck up
00:07:56Any news, Judith?
00:07:57Not yet
00:07:58Okay
00:08:00Kate
00:08:05Alright, go
00:08:06Mr. Dickens called
00:08:07Urgent
00:08:08Escape
00:08:08Next
00:08:09Make the investment conference call
00:08:11Urgent
00:08:11Save
00:08:12Next
00:08:12Jarre called about dinner on Monday
00:08:15Confirm 8 o'clock
00:08:17it's them
00:08:19okay
00:08:20put them through
00:08:21good luck
00:08:25a word or two about money
00:08:28money makes the world go round
00:08:29doesn't it
00:08:32balderdash
00:08:32trust not money
00:08:34that's what makes the world go round
00:08:36if I haven't been able to produce
00:08:38at least one
00:08:41trustworthy butler
00:08:42out of this course
00:08:43then I've wasted my time
00:08:45sorry
00:08:47as I've made clear you will be in complete
00:08:50control of the household
00:08:52however you will be treated by all
00:08:54other members of the household as if you were
00:08:55slightly less significant than a piece
00:08:58of used toilet paper
00:08:59to simulate this I've devised
00:09:01a rather amusing little exercise
00:09:10you're enjoying this aren't you
00:09:12I'm getting no pleasure from it
00:09:13whatsoever
00:09:14alright
00:09:15oh god
00:09:16boozeye
00:09:18now look
00:09:20open wide for one
00:09:22teeny weeny little big bean
00:09:25or I'll tell your mom
00:09:27but I'll tell her you hit me
00:09:30what?
00:09:31I'll tell her you hit me and pulled my hair
00:09:37okay leave the food
00:09:38can I watch tv tonight?
00:09:41I will not be blackmailed by you children
00:09:57Mrs. Withington
00:10:00what happened?
00:10:03sorry Miss Jameson
00:10:05but they are the devil's seed
00:10:07oh no they're just playing with you
00:10:09they're delightful children really
00:10:13underneath all the horrible stuff
00:10:14please I promise Jacques
00:10:16I would not let him down again
00:10:17oh
00:10:17oh
00:10:17oh
00:10:18oh
00:10:20oh
00:10:42hello
00:10:43bob the babysitter
00:10:45no ma'am
00:10:47this is
00:10:47bob the butler
00:10:48now look
00:10:49I definitely have this number down
00:10:51for bob the babysitter
00:10:53well that was at least seven jobs back
00:10:55but you were a babysitter once
00:10:59well yes
00:10:59just once
00:11:01oh please this is an emergency
00:11:03one minute please
00:11:06rascal
00:11:07damsel in distress
00:11:09may I have your leave
00:11:11thank you master rascal
00:11:16I'd be happy to
00:11:36oh
00:11:37oh my
00:11:37are you bob?
00:11:39at your service
00:11:41you have a piece of tomato in your hair
00:11:43oh
00:11:44mm-hmm
00:11:48gone
00:11:50oh okay well um
00:11:51I want you to meet my children
00:11:52this is my daughter
00:11:54Tess
00:11:55Miss Tess
00:11:57hello
00:11:58lovely name
00:11:58my son Bates
00:12:00mm
00:12:00master
00:12:02Bates
00:12:03okay
00:12:04I have to go
00:12:06so
00:12:07do me a favor
00:12:08and
00:12:09do not hurt him
00:12:11bob
00:12:12please don't sit on any of the nice chairs
00:12:14unless you have to
00:12:14good night children
00:12:19good night mother
00:12:20enjoy your romantic evening out
00:12:22have fun
00:12:31don't forget the back ones master
00:12:33why do you call me master
00:12:35I'm studying to be a butler
00:12:37I don't like it
00:12:40minister of Bates
00:12:42this feels wrong
00:12:43indeed
00:12:45how about I call you Bates
00:12:49I like that
00:12:50yeah
00:12:51just Bates
00:13:02nice chair
00:13:12Bates
00:13:13are you awake
00:13:15when will mom be back
00:13:17I think Bob's a real find
00:13:19I think Bob's a real find
00:13:20he let me sleep in my fireman costume
00:13:22he's crazy
00:13:23I like him with Mrs. Losington
00:13:27would you like to have him back
00:13:28can we
00:13:30leave it to me
00:13:42thanks for a lovely evening
00:13:43ah the pleasure it was
00:13:45all mine
00:13:46I'd invite you up
00:13:47I know the children will be up as usual
00:13:52oh my god
00:13:53what's wrong
00:13:54the children's lights are all out
00:14:06what's wrong
00:14:07nothing
00:14:09they've been good as gold
00:14:10oh cut the BS
00:14:11what are they bound and gagged somewhere
00:14:14you really should be congratulated ma'am
00:14:16on raising such wondrous progeny
00:14:19can I go now
00:14:21normally they're
00:14:22a pain in the derriere
00:14:25I think here you say
00:14:27Brats
00:14:27well
00:14:28I never say Brats
00:14:30well I don't know what you did
00:14:32but
00:14:32I'm impressed
00:14:34Jacques
00:14:35will you pay Bob for me
00:14:36of course
00:14:40I'm
00:14:42tipping you
00:14:43very generously here
00:14:45I want you to know
00:14:47why
00:14:49tonight
00:14:49with the kids in bed
00:14:51all night
00:14:53I get to do what Frenchmen love
00:14:55to do most
00:14:57you're going to look in the mirror
00:14:58for eight hours
00:15:01thanks Jack
00:15:05this morning those of us that remain
00:15:06will address the basic skills
00:15:08required for a typical day
00:15:10starting with
00:15:11undressing
00:15:11the master
00:15:13now I shall need a volunteer
00:15:14Mr. Tree
00:15:15if you please
00:15:20jacket
00:15:22good
00:15:23hi
00:15:28waistcoat
00:15:30the best
00:15:31you
00:15:37shut
00:15:40oh come on
00:15:41haven't you got some kind of dummy
00:15:42dear boy
00:15:43if you intend to be a butler
00:15:44you better get used to
00:15:45naked old flesh
00:15:47are you sure this isn't a British thing
00:15:49I mean most Americans
00:15:50know how to dress themselves
00:15:51on the contrary
00:15:53we are here
00:15:54to educate them
00:15:55to do it better
00:15:57and
00:15:58to dress
00:15:59for the right occasion
00:16:00whoa
00:16:01yo I'm out of here
00:16:05well Bob
00:16:06you seem to be
00:16:07the last
00:16:08one
00:16:09left
00:16:11Mr. Butler
00:16:12I don't really know
00:16:12if this is necessary
00:16:13I mean
00:16:14I'll give you a hundred bucks
00:16:15if you leave the rest on
00:16:17a hundred and fifty
00:16:18a thousand
00:16:20please stop there
00:16:23dress me
00:16:26Bob
00:16:26no
00:16:27it's okay
00:16:27it's okay Nico
00:16:29I don't want to work here
00:16:31can't stand the sight of blood
00:16:32and all that screaming
00:16:34you took the guy's earlobe off
00:16:36not on purpose
00:16:38you used to work here
00:16:39of course I used to work here
00:16:41barber comes before butler
00:16:43in the yellow pages
00:16:44so how do you like it
00:16:45neat and tidy
00:16:48as the man says
00:16:50no beard
00:16:51no beard
00:16:53butlers don't have beards
00:16:54butlers wear beards
00:16:56no beard
00:16:57a bit of beard
00:16:58no beard at all
00:16:59itty bit of beard
00:17:00no beard whatever
00:17:02itsy bit of beard
00:17:03no not even a little
00:17:05bitty bitty bitty
00:17:06weeny bitty bitty beard
00:17:07itty bit of butler beard
00:17:08itty bit of butler beard
00:17:09no beard
00:17:10itty bit of butler beard
00:17:11itty bit of butler beard
00:17:12itty bit of butler beard
00:17:14settled
00:17:15so
00:17:16well
00:17:16pretty much as it is
00:17:22what do you expect to do
00:17:23Bob if this doesn't buck out
00:17:26I'll probably move on to the seas.
00:17:29You know, camping guide, carpet cleaner, car washer, computer hacker.
00:17:36Extraordinary.
00:17:38You seem to have such faith in yourself where none is justified.
00:17:45Thanks, Mr. Butler.
00:17:49Well, well, well.
00:17:58A Gentleman's Gentleman, by George.
00:18:04Loving breaths of deep acceptance.
00:18:16All right, can we speed it up, please?
00:18:19Here's my needs analysis.
00:18:21I think it'll save time.
00:18:22What are you saving time for?
00:18:24Your family?
00:18:25But you don't even have time to enjoy your kids.
00:18:28Or Jacques.
00:18:29Jack's not family.
00:18:32There's too much work.
00:18:34I need more time.
00:18:35Remember your mantra.
00:18:38I cannot organize the world.
00:18:40Blah, blah, blah.
00:18:43Maybe you could work just as hard and find someone who brings the best out of me and Bates.
00:18:48Tess, that is a very sensible suggestion.
00:18:51Do you have anyone in mind?
00:18:53Not really.
00:18:54Well, I quite liked the babysitter we had last night.
00:19:01But Tess said he was freaky.
00:19:03He's too strict.
00:19:05He's way too strict.
00:19:07Definitely not him.
00:19:11Well, it's not your call, children.
00:19:23What are we doing?
00:19:25Come on, come on.
00:19:26Come on, come on.
00:19:28Off you go.
00:19:33Standing still, Mr. Pree, is highly prized in butler circles.
00:19:37Freak.
00:19:39Just get up.
00:19:41Tiny people down below.
00:19:53Good.
00:19:55I want you to clear your mind and relax.
00:19:58Relax?
00:20:00Are you kidding me?
00:20:02Standing inches from certain death here.
00:20:05I tell you what, think of the most beautiful thing you've seen in the last 48 hours.
00:20:11Now come on.
00:20:13You can do it.
00:20:14I'm beginning to have faith in you, Bob.
00:20:17I'm beginning to have faith in you, Bob.
00:20:19I've got it.
00:20:20What is it?
00:20:21It's a woman.
00:20:23Can you picture her?
00:20:27Yes.
00:20:29Excellent.
00:20:30Hold that thought.
00:20:53Hey, kiddo.
00:20:54How was your day?
00:20:55Okay.
00:20:57Just okay?
00:20:58Well, mine was pretty good.
00:20:59Do you want to hear about it?
00:21:00Does it have anything to do with captain management?
00:21:03Yes.
00:21:04No.
00:21:15It's polite to knock.
00:21:17It's bedtime, sweetheart.
00:21:19I haven't finished.
00:21:20Now, please.
00:21:23No.
00:21:31That's just what I need.
00:21:36Do you want to hear about my day?
00:21:39Now?
00:21:40Your mind is full of work and kids, work and kids, work and kids.
00:21:47That leaves little for me.
00:21:48I am trying to sell my business, Jacques.
00:21:51For months, Ma Cherie.
00:21:52But when?
00:21:55I'm thinking of hiring Bob.
00:21:57The babysitter?
00:21:58The butler.
00:22:01The children will live with him.
00:22:04I'm joking.
00:22:05No, he'll live in the attic.
00:22:07We'll have a babysitter whenever we want.
00:22:10Parfait.
00:22:14Can you hurry up in there?
00:22:16You've been in there for hours.
00:22:18Always finish.
00:22:27You'll tidy all this up?
00:22:29Babe, stop that.
00:22:31It's a toilet bidet.
00:22:33What's a toilet bidet?
00:22:34It's like a fountain for your ass.
00:22:36Ask me later.
00:22:38Jacques says he's here.
00:22:40The butler.
00:22:41Now, then Robert.
00:22:43Actually, my name's Bob.
00:22:45Oh, well, Bob is short for Robert.
00:22:47Isn't Rob short for Robert?
00:22:50Yes.
00:22:51So then Bob would be short for Bobbert.
00:22:53Your name is Bobbert?
00:22:54No, just Bob.
00:22:56Okay, then.
00:22:56As long as we're satisfied with first names, can we continue?
00:22:59Of course.
00:23:00Though I don't know your name,
00:23:02is it all right if I call you Mistress Jameson?
00:23:04Oh, no.
00:23:07That sounds rather sordid, doesn't it?
00:23:09Perhaps you could just call me Anne.
00:23:13Anne.
00:23:14Just Anne.
00:23:16Anne.
00:23:17Yes.
00:23:19Anne.
00:23:20Eh bien, Anne.
00:23:22Mr. Tree, how many children do you have?
00:23:26Well, I don't have any children.
00:23:28But you said in the flyer that you would take care of the children like your own.
00:23:33Yeah, if I had some.
00:23:35But you did just recently attend the Cosmopolitan Butler School?
00:23:40Isolu Tai Diki.
00:23:42Bob-san!
00:23:43Konnichiwa.
00:23:44Suzuki-san, konnichiwa.
00:23:46Genki?
00:23:47Yeah, just.
00:23:48Kataraki-seek de.
00:23:49Na, na, na,その変 na kaku.
00:23:54Uh, how much do I owe you?
00:23:57$180 for pipes, plumbing, $300, and bidet system, $1,200.
00:24:03Well, I'll bring the bill to the next week.
00:24:05Yes.
00:24:08What did he say?
00:24:09Uh, he said he'll drop the bill off next week.
00:24:15Um, Jacques got me a wonderful present.
00:24:19A state-of-the-art toilet.
00:24:21A toilet?
00:24:23What a nice gift.
00:24:26Well, I'm sorry.
00:24:28Go on.
00:24:31My goodness, Bob.
00:24:33I had no idea that you were fluent in Japanese.
00:24:35I worked in the Asian market.
00:24:37Well, that's impressive.
00:24:38You sold stock.
00:24:41Stocks, vegetables, some strangely shaped fruits.
00:24:46Horseshoe shaped.
00:24:49Fruits.
00:24:50Bob, I would like to go over a few specifics.
00:24:53I color categorize my sponges.
00:24:56Blue for bathroom, yellow for kitchen, purple for general,
00:24:59green for the outdoors, car included.
00:25:01Please don't confuse them.
00:25:02Fine.
00:25:03No strange women in the house?
00:25:04Fine.
00:25:05No drugs?
00:25:05Fine.
00:25:06No pets?
00:25:07Are you allergic?
00:25:09They're unhygienic.
00:25:11Fine.
00:25:19So what do you think?
00:25:20It's very strange.
00:25:22I don't understand this rob-b-bobbert business.
00:25:26Well, I suppose we could always interview other candidates.
00:25:29There are other candidates?
00:25:31No.
00:25:37I hired an assistant once.
00:25:39She seemed perfect.
00:25:40She worked hard.
00:25:41She did everything I told her to.
00:25:42One lunchtime, I saw her in the gym.
00:25:45She had a shower, and then she changed right back into her workout bra.
00:25:52I'm lost.
00:25:53I fired her on the spot, of course.
00:25:56You fired her because of her sweaty bra?
00:25:59Do you think Robert wears a bra?
00:26:03Oh, who knows?
00:26:04But if it doesn't work out, I'll change him.
00:26:06Okay.
00:26:24Bates!
00:26:26Sorry, Mom.
00:26:30I think you'll find that it's everything you need.
00:26:34I'm sure it's not up to your professional standards.
00:26:45It's white!
00:26:48Yeah.
00:26:50Oh, I'm sorry it is such a mess.
00:26:57I can indeed organize the world.
00:27:01I can indeed organize the world.
00:27:13Hey, rascal.
00:27:21Home.
00:27:26We are robots.
00:27:27We are monster robots.
00:27:30I am robot man.
00:27:32Get out of my way.
00:27:33I am computer man.
00:27:34Aren't you a little old to play with toys?
00:27:37I know.
00:27:37Well, I don't usually play with them, but...
00:27:40I got these when I was about your age, and...
00:27:44I figured I'd give them to my own son one day.
00:27:47Didn't he want them?
00:28:00Didn't he want them?
00:28:03The children are in bed, ma'am.
00:28:04Oh, thank you, Bob.
00:28:06Music to my ears.
00:28:07Is there anything else I can do for you?
00:28:09No.
00:28:10I'll see you in the morning.
00:28:12I hope you don't mind, but, um...
00:28:14I couldn't find any towels for your bathroom.
00:28:17No.
00:28:18I don't use them.
00:28:20Okay, then.
00:28:21They breed germs.
00:28:23I have a body dryer.
00:28:24A body dryer?
00:28:25Yes.
00:28:26Like a hair dryer?
00:28:28Bigger.
00:28:29Much more hygienic.
00:28:32Did I mention the sponge system?
00:28:34Blue for the bathroom?
00:28:35Purple, yellow, green.
00:28:37Oh.
00:28:38Well, good night, then.
00:28:42Good night.
00:29:05Good night.
00:29:07What does that smell?
00:29:09What about food?
00:29:11I guess Bob made us breakfast.
00:29:13Where did you get that blouse?
00:29:15It's an old one.
00:29:16Yeah, like really old, like five years too old.
00:29:19It's way too small for you.
00:29:20Is not.
00:29:21Is.
00:29:22Is not.
00:29:23Let's have Bob decide.
00:29:24Bob.
00:29:25Is not.
00:29:26Is.
00:29:27Yes, ma'am?
00:29:28Tess's blouse.
00:29:29Indecently small or acceptable fashion.
00:29:33Sorry, Miss Tess.
00:29:43That's a lot of pancakes.
00:29:44It's more cost-effective to prepare in bulk.
00:29:47They teach you that bulk stuff at Butler's school?
00:29:50Actually, it's the finest.
00:29:54The finest cooking school in the world.
00:29:57The Cordon Bleu.
00:29:58The U.S. Army.
00:30:00The Army?
00:30:01Cool.
00:30:02Would you like some pancakes, Miss Tess?
00:30:05Sure, make me put on 50 pounds.
00:30:07That'll make me popular.
00:30:08Getting grounded for being rude will definitely make you popular.
00:30:16Miss Tess, I want to prepare a special dinner tonight.
00:30:20Sort of an introduction.
00:30:22What is your mother like?
00:30:24She likes anything she can eat quickly so she can get back to work.
00:30:29You know what would be good?
00:30:30A luau.
00:30:31She loves the whole Hawaiian thing.
00:30:34A luau, huh?
00:30:36Pork.
00:30:36Okay.
00:30:38I'll look into that.
00:30:41I knew a guy once.
00:30:44He was kind of a nervous fellow.
00:30:47He used to bite his nails.
00:30:49One day he was so upset he ate his whole hand.
00:30:52He did not.
00:30:54By the time we pulled him off, he'd chewed all the way up to the elbows.
00:30:57That is stupid.
00:30:58That fellow has to wear a muzzle now.
00:31:01A muzzle.
00:31:01All because he couldn't talk about his problems.
00:31:07I don't know about that outfit, Miss Tess.
00:31:17How are you getting out?
00:31:19I've got basketball today.
00:31:21That's great.
00:31:22I love basketball.
00:31:25You're not under four foot.
00:31:34Guess what?
00:31:36Join the Britney Spears fan club?
00:31:38My mom hired a butler.
00:31:40He looks like he's from Transylvania.
00:31:43He's not the only one.
00:31:45They remind me of the Addams family.
00:31:49Sad, sad, sad.
00:31:52I love you.
00:32:11I love you.
00:32:37Nice melons.
00:32:42Thanks.
00:32:45You.
00:32:47You.
00:32:48You.
00:32:49You.
00:32:51You.
00:32:55You.
00:32:56You.
00:32:59You.
00:33:01You.
00:33:03You.
00:33:04You.
00:33:05You.
00:33:05You.
00:33:06You.
00:33:06You.
00:33:07You.
00:33:07You.
00:33:08You.
00:33:08You.
00:33:08You.
00:33:09You.
00:33:10You.
00:33:10You.
00:33:10You.
00:33:11You.
00:33:11You.
00:33:12You.
00:33:13You.
00:33:14You.
00:33:15You.
00:33:18You.
00:33:27Oh, my God.
00:33:49I'm gonna die.
00:33:50I've been up to three.
00:33:53I'm gonna die.
00:33:56I'm gonna die.
00:33:59I'm gonna die.
00:33:59I'm gonna die.
00:34:01I'm gonna die.
00:34:01But I can't cry.
00:34:12The라고 says...
00:34:14...yeah.
00:34:18Ooh.
00:34:20Ooh.
00:34:24Ooh.
00:34:25Ooh.
00:34:25Ooh.
00:34:25Ooh.
00:34:32Ooh, yeah.
00:34:35Hi.
00:34:36How you doing?
00:34:37Good.
00:34:40Where's your sister?
00:34:41I don't know.
00:34:43Her cold friends are very sensitive.
00:34:46Does she have a lot of friends?
00:34:49Compared to me or to normal people?
00:34:54Tess said she'd rather die than be collected by a man who looks like a penguin.
00:34:59I only take random insults from immediate friends and family.
00:35:02I'm Tess's best friend.
00:35:04That's good enough.
00:35:05Where is she?
00:35:06Waiting for you to leave or for cover of nightfall.
00:35:12Miss Tess?
00:35:15Miss Tess Jameson, your butler is here and waiting.
00:35:20Hurry up or I'll throw out your favorite Barney video
00:35:24and your stash of letters to one Jay Timberlake.
00:35:34So how'd basketball go?
00:35:35I stunk.
00:35:37What'd you expect?
00:35:39I don't know.
00:35:40What did you expect?
00:35:41Well, I thought I'd be lousy.
00:35:43Well, then it all worked out the way you thought.
00:35:46Miss Tess, how was your day?
00:35:48Do you gamble?
00:35:50What do you got in mind?
00:35:51I bet you'll be fired within a week.
00:35:53What odds he offer?
00:35:57Doesn't anyone want to sit up front with the luau dinner?
00:36:16Dinner is served.
00:36:23This is so perfect.
00:36:25Do you think she'll like it.
00:36:27She'll be breathless.
00:36:29It's a napkin moron.
00:36:32What are he?
00:36:33He made us all dinner.
00:36:34The least that we can do is show him a little gratitude.
00:36:40Oh my good god.
00:36:43A luau.
00:36:53Whose idea was this?
00:36:55The butler.
00:37:12One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi, five Mississippi, six Mississippi, seven Mississippi,
00:37:16May I miss him?
00:37:17Tell me, missus him.
00:37:26Rich, full-bodied.
00:37:30I smell a hint of mushroom.
00:37:33Shiitake?
00:37:34Portobello.
00:37:35Burgundy region.
00:37:37I will take you there one day.
00:37:39Can I come to Burdungi?
00:37:41Oh, babe, sweet.
00:37:43But it's not for les enfants.
00:37:44Mom, I think it will be a trip just for your mother and me.
00:37:49Jacques is joking.
00:37:51Of course we can all go together.
00:37:53The children would love it.
00:37:54Ah, the children?
00:37:56Of course.
00:37:57Can we go, Mom?
00:37:59Just the three of us?
00:38:01Madame.
00:38:03Kalua, kua.
00:38:06The custom is to prepare the food in an emu
00:38:11or underground oven.
00:38:16Sounds wonderful, isn't it, children?
00:38:21Gross.
00:38:25It is normally served with a mashed taro root or poi.
00:38:34Come on.
00:38:39Plug it.
00:38:40Plug it.
00:38:41Move.
00:38:43Move.
00:38:43Move.
00:38:45Move.
00:38:45Move.
00:38:45Move.
00:38:45Hot piggy.
00:38:46Hot piggy.
00:38:47Oh, Lord.
00:38:48Stay with me.
00:38:49Stay with me.
00:39:06I think you'll find that I've just won the bet.
00:39:19Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:39:21Here, let me help you.
00:39:24I'm sorry.
00:39:25But no, you do not want to check your preferences.
00:39:31I just wanted to make a nice dinner.
00:39:33Sort of a thank you.
00:39:36Maybe if I talk to Mom, would that help?
00:39:38No, I'm the screw-up.
00:39:40I've done this before.
00:39:42You blew up another pig?
00:39:45Bedtime, mates.
00:39:47Good luck.
00:39:49Can you give me one good reason why I shouldn't fire you right now?
00:39:52Yes.
00:39:54Okay, I'm listening.
00:39:57Can I have till tomorrow morning?
00:39:59This is a complete disaster area.
00:40:02My pristine dining room is covered in pig shrapnel.
00:40:07I'll clean it up.
00:40:08You better.
00:40:10Every...
00:40:12shred.
00:40:14Oh, and Bob, I think it's best if you never, ever, ever, cook anything again.
00:40:23Yes, ma'am.
00:40:33I thought you should know.
00:40:34Closed door, big hint.
00:40:37I'm staying.
00:40:38I thought servants were meant to be seen and not heard.
00:40:45Hey, these are great.
00:40:46Hey!
00:40:47Give me that.
00:40:48It's private.
00:40:50Don't get your knickers in a knot.
00:40:59Watch, watch, watch, watch, watch, watch, watch.
00:41:06Okay.
00:41:10Take your time today.
00:41:13There's no hurry.
00:41:15You can wait a while.
00:41:18If only for a smile.
00:41:21Take your time today.
00:41:24There's no hurry.
00:41:26You can wait a while.
00:41:26Oh, boy!
00:41:26There you go.
00:41:27Oh.
00:41:30Oh, jeez.
00:41:32Sorry.
00:41:36Sorry.
00:41:37Come on, baby.
00:41:43Come on.
00:41:45Uh-huh.
00:41:46Uh-huh.
00:41:48Uh-huh.
00:41:49Come on.
00:41:50Come on.
00:41:51All right.
00:41:53Come on.
00:41:57Hello?
00:41:59Hi, Mom.
00:42:00I'm intrigued.
00:42:03Nice test.
00:42:06There you go.
00:42:08They, they are.
00:42:09They're sweet.
00:42:11Nice hot.
00:42:19Right, girl.
00:42:21Lay back, kids.
00:42:34Will you shoot some balls with me?
00:42:36Sure.
00:42:41What's that?
00:42:43What?
00:42:44Have you got a remote control ball?
00:42:48Rascal?
00:42:49Who's Rascal?
00:42:51Rascal!
00:42:51Rascal!
00:42:58Rascal!
00:43:01Rascal!
00:43:05Rascal!
00:43:11Rascal!
00:43:12Rascal!
00:43:14Rascal!
00:43:14Rascal!
00:43:15Rascal!
00:43:16Rascal!
00:43:17Rascal!
00:43:18Rascal!
00:43:19Rascal!
00:43:20Rascal!
00:43:21No!
00:43:22Rascal!
00:43:33Poor thing.
00:43:35Someone's being a very naughty butler.
00:43:48Rascal.
00:43:49Rascal.
00:43:50He licked the jar right out of Newton's hand, sliming his palm with a streak of black gob,
00:43:56perhaps the most disgusting thing Newton had experienced since the time he mistakenly ate a maggot.
00:44:02Hi, guys. How was your day? Anything interesting happen?
00:44:09Usual.
00:44:10Huh.
00:44:16Why weren't you a dad?
00:44:18Hmm. Just didn't happen yet.
00:44:20Hmm.
00:44:34Bob!
00:44:36Bob!
00:44:41Too loud?
00:44:42Uh, no. Just, uh, just really, really horrible.
00:44:49I love the trumpet.
00:44:51Then you should practice.
00:44:52Yeah.
00:44:55Um...
00:44:57Bob, you must think I'm a really horrible mother.
00:45:01No.
00:45:02Well, it wasn't an easy decision.
00:45:05Sure.
00:45:06It's not like time was exactly on my side, so I thought I would do it.
00:45:11Hey.
00:45:12You're blessed.
00:45:16Sorry.
00:45:17I, uh, spoke out of turn.
00:45:21Zip.
00:45:22That's all right.
00:45:25Can I ask you a question?
00:45:27Yeah.
00:45:29What's capital management?
00:45:32Huh.
00:45:33Huh.
00:45:34Huh.
00:45:36Bye.
00:45:37Thanks for the lift.
00:45:38See you later.
00:45:40Bye-bye.
00:45:48Hello, Judith.
00:45:50I'll be about an hour or so.
00:45:52It can wait.
00:45:53Yeah.
00:45:54I'll be on my cell phone if you need me.
00:45:56Okay.
00:45:57Bye.
00:46:06Well, I can't come to a meeting with stains down my blouse now, can I?
00:46:11I'm back, Bob.
00:46:12I'm just gonna take a quick bath.
00:46:14I'll be there as soon as I can.
00:46:25I'll be over a 10-minute time out again.
00:46:29I can't wait.
00:46:30Hm.
00:46:43Why do you build me up?
00:46:46What a coffee.
00:46:54Can I get you some towels now?
00:46:56No!
00:47:12Don't get that, Flippin Burgers.
00:47:18Then I dig right, cut left, and slam dunk it.
00:47:22Who traded in my geek brother for a jock geek brother?
00:47:26Hey!
00:47:27Where are you all going on a Sunday?
00:47:29Basketball tryouts.
00:47:31Well, I'll drive you.
00:47:32Let me get my purse.
00:47:33I wanna go with Bob.
00:47:36Okay.
00:47:38What about you, Tess?
00:47:39I arranged to meet Sophie.
00:47:41Don't you have work to do?
00:47:43Nope.
00:47:44Amazingly.
00:47:46All right, well, see you later.
00:47:55Are we? Hello?
00:47:57Anne!
00:47:58What's wrong?
00:47:59I've got the whole day free!
00:48:01And I'm lonely!
00:48:08It's so nice to do something for myself for a change.
00:48:12We'll go out and find a nice, quiet place.
00:48:15Oh, this is lovely.
00:48:18This is nice.
00:48:20This is relaxing.
00:48:23This...
00:48:26Take me home.
00:48:27What?
00:48:29I...
00:48:29I can't be here without them.
00:48:31I just can't enjoy myself without the kids.
00:48:34I mean, you know, I just can't.
00:48:36Let's go!
00:48:36Look at Jacques!
00:48:37I have children.
00:48:38I love them.
00:48:39They're not just going to disappear.
00:48:41You would prefer that I disappear?
00:48:42Examine the situation.
00:48:44One.
00:48:45You are a single woman.
00:48:47Very beautiful.
00:48:48True.
00:48:49But very, very anal.
00:48:53Anal.
00:48:54I'm anal.
00:48:56Two.
00:48:56Your children.
00:48:58They're...
00:48:59They're not beautiful.
00:49:01Just...
00:49:02Annoying.
00:49:03Three.
00:49:04If I go...
00:49:05I'll take three.
00:49:06You go.
00:49:08Now.
00:49:08Take a cap.
00:49:09Anne.
00:49:10You are a single woman of a certain age.
00:49:14You will not find another man.
00:49:17Statistically, you have a better chance of being hit by a truck.
00:49:22One driven by Bub!
00:49:32So?
00:49:33So what?
00:49:35How'd it go?
00:49:36No tryouts.
00:49:38There was no tryouts.
00:49:40The coach had already decided who was on the team.
00:49:44What?
00:49:45That's not fair.
00:49:48Wait here.
00:49:50You're not going to embarrass me.
00:49:52You bet I am.
00:49:55Hey!
00:49:57You the coach?
00:49:58Who's asking?
00:50:00The name's Tree.
00:50:04Bob?
00:50:06Bob the mascot?
00:50:09Jerry?
00:50:11Yeah!
00:50:16Yeah.
00:50:17What happened to the Bismarck barbarians?
00:50:20I left not long after the owner fired you.
00:50:22He was a real a-hole.
00:50:24I know.
00:50:25I know.
00:50:27Still got your helmet though?
00:50:28You want to see it?
00:50:29You bet.
00:50:32It's about Bates.
00:50:34Bates Jameson?
00:50:35Pull up a chair.
00:50:41Ooh.
00:50:42Put it on.
00:50:47Yeah.
00:50:49Still fits like a glove.
00:50:51A really...
00:50:53Weird glove.
00:50:54It took them two hours to remove that from his buttocks.
00:50:56Yeah.
00:50:57I probably shouldn't have left it on his chair.
00:50:59So what about the Jameson kid?
00:51:02He wants to try out for the team.
00:51:05He's kind of small.
00:51:10Why is it impossible to say no to you?
00:51:12Huh?
00:51:13All right.
00:51:14Yeah!
00:51:18All right.
00:51:21Go ahead.
00:51:28Come on, Bates.
00:51:30He's a little nervous.
00:51:33Put one in the net there, Bates.
00:51:34Put one in the net there.
00:51:48How you doing?
00:51:50Go trade me.
00:51:52Forget about him, okay?
00:51:54It's just you and me.
00:51:55Just like at home.
00:51:57Come on.
00:51:58Come on, let's go.
00:51:59Aw.
00:52:00Come on.
00:52:01Like we practiced.
00:52:02Come on.
00:52:05Oh, you got it.
00:52:06You got it.
00:52:06Take it around me.
00:52:07Take it around me.
00:52:08Take it around me.
00:52:08Take it around me.
00:52:09Take it around me.
00:52:10Put it in.
00:52:11Put it in the net.
00:52:12Come on.
00:52:13No fancy stuff.
00:52:14Put it in the net.
00:52:17Yeah!
00:52:18I got one!
00:52:21Two points.
00:52:22Two points!
00:52:26Hey, Tess.
00:52:29Been shopping?
00:52:31Oh, what is that?
00:52:32A wristband?
00:52:34A pair of socks?
00:52:36Mom!
00:52:37Is it a bib?
00:52:38Hey, how are the tryouts?
00:52:40Great!
00:52:40Good.
00:52:41I've made salmon skewers.
00:52:43Salmon?
00:52:43I'll tell Tess.
00:52:45What?
00:52:48Hey, Tess.
00:52:49Don't come in.
00:52:50Your mother made a barbecue.
00:52:53I'll be down in five.
00:53:00Bye.
00:53:05Would you like to join us, Bob?
00:53:09Please.
00:53:11We'd like you to.
00:53:16It's real nice of you to have made these salmon skewers, isn't it, kids?
00:53:21And a green salad.
00:53:23Eh.
00:53:25That was delicious.
00:53:27I should've made hot dogs.
00:53:28No, no.
00:53:29It was really good.
00:53:31Oh.
00:53:31In just a spot.
00:53:33Where?
00:53:33Right there.
00:53:36You know, Tess has drawn some amazing dress designs.
00:53:41You should see her school books.
00:53:43School books?
00:53:43Yeah, she draws in her school books.
00:53:46You're such a liar.
00:53:48You're such a stupid liar.
00:53:51Tess.
00:53:51It's not true.
00:53:53I hate you, Bob.
00:53:55Tess.
00:53:56Tess.
00:53:58I guess that's what it's like having family, rascal.
00:54:01Ups and downs.
00:54:05Just a second.
00:54:12Come in.
00:54:13Come in.
00:54:14Hi.
00:54:16I've spoken to Tess.
00:54:18She's shown me her drawings.
00:54:20You're right.
00:54:21They're amazing.
00:54:22So thank you for that.
00:54:28Something wrong?
00:54:31Don't take this the wrong way, Bob.
00:54:34You're the butler.
00:54:36You're not her father.
00:54:42I understand completely.
00:54:47Thanks.
00:54:50Goodnight, then.
00:54:52Goodnight.
00:55:03Why are we eating in here?
00:55:05More coffee, ma'am?
00:55:06Oh, I'll get it.
00:55:07Please, ma'am.
00:55:08Leave it to me.
00:55:15It's cool.
00:55:19New skirt?
00:55:20Yeah, I like it.
00:55:22No.
00:55:23It's like theirs.
00:55:24That's the point, stupid.
00:55:27So you coming to watch me get my nose first?
00:55:30Not on this planet.
00:55:32Tomorrow after school, okay?
00:55:36Bye.
00:55:40You hanging with the clone Barbies now?
00:55:42Maybe when I'm in tighter, I'll put in a good word for you and you can hang with.
00:55:47I liked you because I thought you were an individual.
00:55:50Like me.
00:55:52Now you're just more, like, pathetic.
00:56:07Stop!
00:56:09Excuse me.
00:56:12Kate, is the fruit washed?
00:56:14Judith, did you wash the fruit?
00:56:16It's pre-washed.
00:56:18Pre-washed?
00:56:19Pre-washed?
00:56:20Pre-washed!
00:56:25I do not want to lose this deal because one of my investors has the runs.
00:56:29The runs?
00:56:34Done.
00:56:36Done.
00:56:38Done.
00:56:54Rotate!
00:56:56Rotate!
00:56:57Huge!
00:56:58Rotate!
00:56:59Where is he?
00:57:01Huge!
00:57:03Curly!
00:57:04Rat!
00:57:05Rat!
00:57:05Ratty!
00:57:05Don't do this.
00:57:06Hurry!
00:57:07Think of the table!
00:57:08Turn the table!
00:57:09Hold it!
00:57:11What are you doing, Bob?
00:57:12Don't move.
00:57:13What are you doing, Bob?
00:57:15Hold it.
00:57:19God!
00:57:20God!
00:57:23Let's go.
00:57:24Ah!
00:57:28Oh, jeez.
00:57:32I guess this is urgent.
00:57:34Of course it's urgent.
00:57:35Stay calm, Anne.
00:57:37Do not explode.
00:57:38Too late.
00:57:38I've already exploded.
00:57:39I've dumped Jacques and I've kicked out the hamster.
00:57:41What hamster?
00:57:42Oh, keep up.
00:57:44Bob's taken over.
00:57:45He spends more time with my kids than-
00:57:46Than you do?
00:57:47Than buttling.
00:57:48It's exasperating.
00:57:50Have you fired him?
00:57:51I told him the hamster has to leave immediately,
00:57:53and I want this whole house disinfected from top to bottom.
00:57:56Oh.
00:57:57Sounds like someone has a crush.
00:57:59Huh.
00:58:00I'm paying you for this.
00:58:01I'm not paying you for this.
00:58:02Don't you dare bill me for this call.
00:58:05Ridiculous.
00:58:13Oh, rascal.
00:58:15Who let you out?
00:58:26You know what, Tess?
00:58:27That was out of order.
00:58:29And if I was your father, you would be in so much trouble.
00:58:32You dig?
00:58:33It wasn't me.
00:58:34Yeah, whatever.
00:58:37Whatever.
00:58:50Bates?
00:58:52Was it you?
00:58:56Oh, Bates, why?
00:58:57Come on.
00:58:59Talk to me, buddy.
00:59:03I didn't make the team.
00:59:07You didn't?
00:59:08Okay.
00:59:09That's a shame.
00:59:10I didn't make the team!
00:59:12You said I would!
00:59:14Well, I never said that.
00:59:15I said I would help.
00:59:17I said I would try.
00:59:20Well, I wasn't good enough.
00:59:23Not being good enough is life.
00:59:26But you'll find you're good at something.
00:59:29Everybody's good at something.
00:59:31Oh.
00:59:32What are you good at?
00:59:37I can catch grapes in my mouth.
00:59:48Mom?
00:59:52I put Vasco in your room.
00:59:56I didn't make the team.
00:59:59Okay.
01:00:01It doesn't matter, though.
01:00:03I'll find something to be good at.
01:00:31Hello, Mr. Butler.
01:00:33Bob here.
01:00:50You'll look after him?
01:00:53Of course.
01:00:54Can I make you a cup of tea?
01:00:57Ah.
01:00:58We have a regular little butler.
01:01:01What's your name, master?
01:01:04It's Bates.
01:01:05Just Bates.
01:01:08Hmm.
01:01:17You're gonna be just fine.
01:01:20It's like an initiation thing.
01:01:27I'll start you a room.
01:01:28Whoa.
01:01:37How's everything going?
01:01:38It's fine, thanks.
01:01:58Let's go.
01:01:59You got the stuff?
01:02:00No problem.
01:02:01Um.
01:02:05Security!
01:02:07Ah!
01:02:08Ah!
01:02:09Let me go!
01:02:10You guys, wait!
01:02:15Purple.
01:02:16Purple for general.
01:02:18What?
01:02:18Purple for general.
01:02:20Yellow for kitchen.
01:02:22Blue for bathroom.
01:02:23Purple for general.
01:02:30Hello?
01:02:32Hello?
01:02:33Hey, Bob!
01:02:35It's from you.
01:02:38Hello.
01:02:39Jameson Family Butler speaking.
01:02:43I'll be right there.
01:02:47I have to go.
01:02:49Will you be okay with Mr. Butler for a while?
01:02:51Sure.
01:02:54Come on, Bates.
01:02:55When we're finished here, I'll teach you how to polish silver by spitting on it.
01:03:01Cool!
01:03:02Yeah!
01:03:07Hey!
01:03:08Looking for Tess Jameson?
01:03:11Tough love.
01:03:12We give kids a dose of reality.
01:03:14Scare them straight before it's too late.
01:03:15This one's not like that.
01:03:17Oh, so you're one of those always looking for the best in people guys, huh?
01:03:34Don't worry about it.
01:03:35This will be our little secret.
01:03:39Bob, I'm sorry.
01:03:41About everything.
01:03:43I lied.
01:03:45About the luau.
01:03:46My mom's practically a vegetarian.
01:03:49I guess she is now.
01:03:51Come on.
01:03:51Let's go.
01:04:09Oh, my God.
01:04:12Bates!
01:04:13I'm standing still, Mom.
01:04:15I can be a butler.
01:04:19Good evening, Miss Jameson.
01:04:32Tess, where have you been?
01:04:33I got hung up at Sophie's.
01:04:36Bob came and got me.
01:04:38In that?
01:04:39Both of you inside now!
01:04:46Bob, I have known for quite some time that you're not the world's greatest, butler.
01:04:51But you at least seem to care for my kids.
01:04:54What kind of a man leaves an eight-year-old with a total stranger?
01:04:59Stranger?
01:05:00Huh.
01:05:00What am I saying?
01:05:01A psycho who thinks that standing on the roof of a house is good terrain-y?
01:05:07I'm sorry, Anne.
01:05:09Miss Jameson.
01:05:11I'm truly sorry, Miss Jameson.
01:05:17I have to let you go, Bob.
01:05:21I'll pay you to the end of the month, but...
01:05:24I want you to leave in the morning.
01:05:38I want you to leave.
01:05:46You're ready?
01:05:49I can't leave.
01:05:51I want you to leave.
01:05:52You're back in the morning.
01:05:52I'm an old lady.
01:05:57You're back.
01:05:59You have to leave.
01:06:38Let's not get ourselves down, rascal.
01:06:40You keep going, and I'll keep going.
01:06:50To the end of A.T.B.J. Capital Management.
01:06:53Bye!
01:06:55Ooh.
01:06:58Okay.
01:07:01I don't feel like celebrating.
01:07:17What are you in school?
01:07:20Lunch.
01:07:21What are you doing?
01:07:23Lunch.
01:07:24Welcome to my home.
01:07:27Nice.
01:07:28Well, my natural state is messy.
01:07:30I'm sorry you got fired.
01:07:33I just wanted the cool kids to like me.
01:07:37You know, when I was a kid, I used to like building model cars.
01:07:43But there was always one piece I could never figure out where it was supposed to go.
01:07:49I always felt like that piece.
01:07:52I've spent my whole life trying to figure out where I fit.
01:07:55So when you figure it out, well, that's good.
01:08:03So you're saying it's good to shoplift if it helps you fit in?
01:08:09I worked for a New York designer once.
01:08:12You?
01:08:13I was just sewing, but it was better than a lot of jobs I've done.
01:08:18Here.
01:08:19Severance pay from the sweatshop.
01:08:23Bob.
01:08:25Can you teach me how to sew?
01:08:40Sorry for skipping out on you.
01:08:42Yeah, we were like so cowardly.
01:08:45This is ace.
01:08:46Did you steal it?
01:08:48I made it.
01:08:49Shut up.
01:08:50I want one.
01:08:51Me too.
01:08:53Then wouldn't we be wearing the same top?
01:08:55Yeah.
01:08:56Like a club.
01:09:03Hey, Soph.
01:09:14I had the best day.
01:09:16Great.
01:09:18He followed me.
01:09:19I want to be good at something.
01:09:21Well, of course you do.
01:09:26You ever seen one of these before?
01:09:29Check, check, check, check.
01:09:30Check, check.
01:09:32Check, check.
01:09:32Does it look all right?
01:09:33Wicked.
01:09:35I hope you're ready.
01:09:36Oh, God.
01:09:37It's showtime.
01:09:38Thank you for coming, ladies and just ladies.
01:09:43I am pleased to present Original Creations by Tess.
01:09:54And a stunning outfit of Skirt and Tess.
01:09:57Redfold Chick.
01:09:59That's our Sophie.
01:10:01Chic, not chick.
01:10:03Whatever.
01:10:04And next up, the twin lovey world.
01:10:08Oh.
01:10:09Oh.
01:10:09Oh.
01:10:10Oh.
01:10:10Woo.
01:10:10Woo.
01:10:11Woo.
01:10:12Woo.
01:10:12And finally, the heroine of the hour, the one and only, Miss Tass.
01:10:19It's all, and if you're a girl has to be a girl now, no way, no hiding, don't waste your
01:10:32time.
01:10:34You're a cool girl.
01:10:52Miss Jameson.
01:10:54Yeah, I was just in the neighborhood.
01:10:58I wasn't, obviously.
01:11:00I came to see you.
01:11:03Come on in.
01:11:12Here we are.
01:11:18She's very talented.
01:11:20You've been so good with them.
01:11:23But I know the truth.
01:11:25I just helped her make a few dresses.
01:11:28You got my little girl out of jail.
01:11:32I got a phone call this morning from a detective Alvarez.
01:11:37He said that he wished that half the fathers that he met were as loyal and determined as you.
01:11:43Don't be too hard on her.
01:11:45I think you know me better than that.
01:11:47I do.
01:11:49So, what's next for you?
01:11:51Well, I got a job.
01:11:53One of those butler cruises.
01:11:55Around the world in 365 days.
01:12:00That's good for you.
01:12:03When do you leave?
01:12:04First thing Saturday.
01:12:07Oh, um, these are for tomorrow.
01:12:14Oh, wow.
01:12:16I love the trumpet.
01:12:18Yeah.
01:12:18Jacques and I were supposed to go.
01:12:20But I thought maybe you had someone special.
01:12:25No.
01:12:30Well, I guess we, um, we each could take one.
01:12:34Sure.
01:12:38Okay, then.
01:12:40Okay.
01:12:43Okay, well, I'll see you there, then.
01:12:45Eight o'clock tomorrow.
01:12:47Okay.
01:12:54It's not a date.
01:12:57It's a date.
01:12:58It's not.
01:12:58It is.
01:12:59Oh, it's not.
01:13:00Date.
01:13:01A date.
01:13:02Just two people.
01:13:04Two individual people who happen to be going to the same place at the same time.
01:13:09All I did was give Bob my extra ticket.
01:13:11It's so.
01:13:13A date.
01:13:14Who's going on a date?
01:13:16Mom.
01:13:17With Bob.
01:13:18Awesome!
01:13:27Hello?
01:13:28What are you doing at this moment?
01:13:40I'm taking care of my family.
01:13:42I'm a single woman of a certain age, remember?
01:13:46Tonight, we have those tickets to the concert.
01:13:50Bye, Jacques.
01:13:51You will not use them.
01:13:52You would not go alone.
01:13:54Are you going alone?
01:13:57Are you jealous, my little Jacques?
01:13:59Who is he?
01:14:01Robert.
01:14:03Robert.
01:14:06Robert.
01:14:09Bub?
01:14:12It's just a night out with a beautiful woman who's stolen my heart.
01:14:26Got a doorbell, you know.
01:14:31We're here to help.
01:14:32Let's see what you've got.
01:14:34Could you have knocked a little more, maybe?
01:14:37Ugly.
01:14:38Ew.
01:14:39No.
01:14:41Tragic.
01:14:42Ew.
01:14:43Gross.
01:14:44No.
01:14:47What's wrong with this?
01:14:49Kind of bored of suits, you know?
01:14:51It's perfect.
01:14:52What time is the concert?
01:14:54It doesn't take me long to get ready.
01:14:56Maybe it should.
01:15:06Oh, hello, sir.
01:15:08Can I help you?
01:15:08This is the Cosmopolitan Butler School?
01:15:12It is no mob.
01:15:15It is no mob.
01:15:17I'm afraid, sir.
01:15:19Not enough filthy lucre to keep it alive.
01:15:22So, you train the great Bob.
01:15:27What about Bob?
01:15:29Five-day course.
01:15:32Mon Dieu.
01:15:34You're not a professional.
01:15:36Just a sad British man with his sad little tradition.
01:15:42So, now we have Bob the Liar, too.
01:15:47If I may say so, sir.
01:15:50Bob Tree is a finer man than most.
01:15:54And it has been an honor to know him.
01:15:57No.
01:16:03Wow.
01:16:04Mom, is that you?
01:16:07I'll take that as a compliment, I think.
01:16:09Now, don't stay up too late.
01:16:12You sure it's not too much?
01:16:13You're a hottie.
01:16:14That's a good thing, right?
01:16:15It's not too risque.
01:16:16You've got it flaunted.
01:16:18That's what I always say.
01:16:19You better not say that.
01:16:23Good night.
01:16:52You're early.
01:16:56Yes, I am.
01:17:22You're early.
01:17:31Hi.
01:17:33Look.
01:17:37radiant you said it yourself i have a very talented daughter
01:18:01yeah i couldn't believe it whoa ticket please sir oh my my ticket eats in there
01:18:06bob who uh bub that's my ticket bub bub bub oh forget it oh come on
01:18:51it's like a dream isn't it
01:19:08you want to go backstage i don't think we're allowed
01:19:16bob yeah hi bob how you doing bob bob mama clara she fired me
01:19:26you sure we can do this bob is that you vince
01:19:33how you doing good how are you
01:19:37i want you to meet a friend of mine anne jameson charmed the pleasure is mine you know a few
01:19:43of
01:19:43us are going out for something to eat would you and your date like to uh come with us
01:19:47just not a date we'd love to
01:19:50that's fantastic i i saw them go back there who oh uh bob bob are you are you dev
01:20:10oh
01:20:14oh you seem like you know everyone in the whole city yeah well i've been fired a lot
01:20:24oh
01:20:25oh
01:20:25oh
01:20:25oh
01:20:27oh
01:20:28oh
01:20:30oh
01:20:30oh
01:20:30oh
01:20:31oh
01:20:31did you and tess plan this yeah i did teach her to sew huh
01:20:38laugh but not for long if i were unto gentleman i would kill you right now
01:20:43how was jock this isn't any of your business it is my business put some clothes on don't you tell
01:20:49me what to do i'll run around start naked if i want to and you have been fooled he is
01:20:58not
01:20:58a proper butler maybe i should just go oh you think you can just sneak away after what you did
01:21:05you cannot take advantage of a middle-aged woman oh i am not middle-aged am i
01:21:13you're beautiful
01:21:15and i'm going to hire bob to do what he trained for five days five
01:21:22psych you were gonna hire me oh my god well you really care for my children and they adore you
01:21:28oh and the situation is intolerable no the situation is fine you are intolerable
01:21:39oh
01:21:40uh
01:21:41au revoir good riddance
01:21:43talk to my hand
01:21:47so would you come back to work the children miss you and well we all miss you
01:21:53i can't i don't understand it wouldn't be appropriate
01:22:12are you going after him he's leaving first thing in the morning
01:22:34get up mom
01:22:37tess what are you doing why did you work this hard mom
01:22:41mom you're all alone mom he's part of our family
01:22:56stay here
01:22:58go mom
01:22:59go mom
01:23:00go mom
01:23:04Go, Mom!
01:23:08Go, Mom! Go, Mom! Go, Mom! Go, Mom!
01:23:19Go, Mom! Go, Mom!
01:23:25What happened?
01:23:30That happened.
01:23:35That's the butler cruise.
01:23:38You mean Bob left?
01:23:48What a mess. A real mess.
01:23:54It's a real mess.
01:23:58Maybe he'll come back.
01:24:01Get tidy, Anne.
01:24:03Tiny.
01:24:15I'm sorry, kids. We lost Bob and it's all my fault.
01:24:20But I want to thank you both.
01:24:22I love you so much.
01:24:25Both of you.
01:24:28Please don't look at me like that.
01:24:37They say that kids bounce back, but...
01:24:50Bob!
01:24:54Bob!
01:24:55Hi.
01:24:57What about the butler cruise?
01:24:59I couldn't leave.
01:25:01Thought I'd stay.
01:25:02Car washing?
01:25:04It's early on in the seas.
01:25:06I'm sorry.
01:25:07Oh my God.
01:25:25I'm sorry.
01:25:31I don't know.
01:25:35I'm sorry.
01:25:35My desire to find work.
01:25:37My desire to find a family.
01:25:42For the food we are about to receive,
01:25:44and for my new dad, Bob,
01:25:46we thank you, God.
01:25:47Amen.
01:25:49Oh, honey.
01:25:51Why don't I carve?
01:25:54That's a gentleman's drop.
01:25:56No.
01:26:01Chicken!
01:26:05Come on again!
01:26:07No!
01:26:12Dinner is served.
01:26:15My name is Bob. I'm looking for a job.
01:26:18When I'm not getting fired,
01:26:19I'm living like a slob.
01:26:21Go through the phone book, looking for work.
01:26:23I wanna be an astronaut like Captain Kirk.
01:26:26Flip burgers to make me a buck.
01:26:28I burn down the rest, but it's just my luck.
01:26:30I got another occupation under my belt.
01:26:33Keepin' a job for two weeks.
01:26:35I'm doin' well like the time at the bar shop.
01:26:37Give it all I got.
01:26:39Chopped off and ears low.
01:26:40It got a lot.
01:26:41He never said a lot.
01:26:42He just screamed.
01:26:44And got blood on my brand new blue jeans.
01:26:46Oh, golly, gee, did it again.
01:26:48I talked to my hamster, my only friend.
01:26:51Go through the phone book again like a fool,
01:26:53and I see something.
01:26:54It's Butler School.
01:26:56My name is Bob and I'm lookin' like a slob bob.
01:26:59My name is Bob and I need to get a job, Bob.
01:27:01My name is Bob and I need to get a job, Bob.
01:27:17I'm a motorbike, gonna be a butler.
01:27:19Went to the school, it was like no other.
01:27:21They made me balance weights on my head
01:27:23They made me make a naked dude get dressed
01:27:26They dressed me up in a suit and a vest
01:27:29Took me to the rooftop for a test
01:27:31Made me climb to the edge real slow
01:27:33I looked at the ground and I got vertigo
01:27:36I thought about a woman that I met the other day
01:27:39And the vertigo stopped spinning, it went away
01:27:41It felt real good, what can I say?
01:27:44I think I'm gonna be a butler, I'm on my way
01:27:46Cause my name is Bob and I'm looking like a slob
01:27:49My name is Bob and I need to get a job
01:27:51My name is Bob and I need to get a job
01:28:06Went to the place and I got a job on the spot
01:28:09Living in the attic, I didn't eat a lot
01:28:12Take the dust and dust, I attack this
01:28:14Grab the kids to basketball practice
01:28:17Make dinner, some kind of luau
01:28:19I wanna make the lady say wow
01:28:22When the lady comes home and the pig explodes
01:28:24Messed up again, that's all she wrote
01:28:27Pretty soon I'll be back for the street
01:28:29Looking for a job with nothing to eat
01:28:32Maybe I could be a rapper, rapping on the beat
01:28:34Get you on the dance floor, moving your feet
01:28:37My name is Bob and I'm looking like a slob
01:28:39My name is Bob and I need to get a job
01:28:42My name is Bob and I need to get a job
01:28:47My name is Bob and I need to get a job
01:29:02My name is Bob and I need to get a job
01:29:07My name is Bob and I'm looking like a slob
01:29:10Bob, my name is Bob and I need to get a job
01:29:12Bob, my name is Bob and Robert just Bob
01:29:15My name is Bob and I need to get a job
01:29:44I need to get a job
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