00:04Hi, darling. I have been trying to find a way to share how I feel, and I think we can
00:09both agree that communication hasn't been easy for us. I want to start by saying that
00:13I am sorry. I know that I have been somewhat absent from and neglectful of our relationship
00:18recently, and not only have I been distant, but I haven't been the easiest person to be
00:23with. My attention and focus has been solely on the kids, one in particular.
00:30The constant arguments about his extreme right-wing views and narratives are exhausting, and I am
00:35just so worried about what might happen. I feel like such a failure. I am failing as a mum, and
00:40I
00:40am failing as a partner-wife. I am his mother. I should be able to fix this. But whatever I
00:46do,
00:46I only make things worse. Then when you come home, all we ever do is talk or argue about him
00:51and what
00:51has happened that day. It's a never-ending cycle. His target of attack is always me. Rarely does he
00:57focus on or challenge you, and that makes me feel resentful, angry, and hurt. His behaviour is worse
01:03when you aren't around, and then he underplays his actions when you get home. I understand that
01:08when you have had a busy day, you want to come in and relax and switch off. Believe me, I
01:12want that
01:12for you too. And I do feel really guilty that you have to come home to such a tense and
01:17destructive
01:17environment. I feel terrible that at the end of the day I am so mentally exhausted that I don't have
01:23the time, energy, or the inclination to focus on us. Probably because all I can think about is
01:29our family and what is happening to it. I just feel so scared and alone and even unsupported
01:35sometimes, and yes, I do take that out on you. Maybe if I stop expecting support and actually
01:40communicate what I needed, that might help. After all, neither of us are mind readers. And perhaps we
01:46can allocate specific time of the day where we can discuss our situation, a time where we have
01:51little distraction and we are more relaxed. We could take turns in talking and listening to each
01:55other, and that way we might understand each other better. And how about we set aside some time
02:01every week, or even once a fortnight, to focus on relationships. We could watch a movie in bed or
02:07eat a meal together. No talk of kids or work. Just me and you concentrating on us. We cannot let
02:14extremism break us. I won't let it. We are too valuable. If we work together instead of letting
02:20it divide and destroy us, we can grow stronger. We can also get support from organizations that
02:25specialize in radicalization and extremism, and they can advise and guide us with regards to our
02:30concerns. After all, we are not educated in that field. And think about it. If it was anything else,
02:37we wouldn't hesitate to get professional help and support. I love you, and I hope that this helps you
02:42to not only understand how I have been feeling, but that it helps us to move forward and back on
02:47track.
