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Celebs Go Dating - Season 15 - Episode 10
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00:00Tonight!
00:01What's that? No, that's good.
00:03Nothing.
00:03Oh!
00:04It's a numbers game for Lucinda and Gabby.
00:07Twesomes, threesomes, foursomes and mortems.
00:09I've got a penthouse.
00:10No, no foursomes, Ken.
00:12James has a reality check.
00:14I'd like to meet someone.
00:15You have the intimacy, you have the vibe, but you don't have any distress.
00:19James, I think you're looking for a fairy tale.
00:20And Colleen has a shocker.
00:23So are you paying tonight?
00:24You're the one rolling in the money.
00:27We'll go halves.
00:30As our celebs!
00:31How bad were you?
00:32I bit her.
00:33I hit her.
00:34I called her a bitch.
00:35Go!
00:35I feel like I'm going to make a move.
00:37I actually need to be brave and speak directly to him.
00:41Dating!
00:42I think you've grown in him.
00:43I have.
00:44Well, always here.
00:45So naughty.
00:54Welcome to Celebs Go Dating!
00:56It's a new morning and king of the agency Tom is already hard at it.
01:01I like that.
01:02White wine vinegar to make cleanings.
01:06If hard at it means wrecking the bloody place.
01:09Oh, gross.
01:10Get your shit together, Tom, because P-Dog's on his way for his first day back since Tenerife.
01:15Oh!
01:17Lou's never made that noise for me when I get home.
01:19Or ever, in fact.
01:21Don't stay away that long again.
01:24And with Anna pulling a suspicious sickie today, she's pushed all her work onto poor old Dr T.
01:30Absolute piss take.
01:31Get her on Zoom.
01:32Camera's on, people.
01:33It's so wet.
01:34I don't even remember the last time I was just wet.
01:36Probably when you looked at a cucumber in Lidl.
01:38I like that.
01:39It's going to be a good day because we've got lovely James, lovely David, Lucinda and Gabby today.
01:47Four consultations?
01:48Four consultations.
01:49Smart move, Anna.
01:51And is it a celebratory day for most of those people?
01:55They did phenomenal in Tenerife.
01:57Oh, great.
01:57Well, that's great.
01:59But shit's getting real.
02:00Oh, I see.
02:01Because it's the halfway juncture.
02:03Mm-hmm.
02:04So people have to think hard.
02:06Yes.
02:06Hard and soft.
02:07Yes.
02:08That sounds like a head in my life to me.
02:11Well, coming in hard now with his soft, silky...
02:14Oh, hang on.
02:15The legs are covered up.
02:17What's he come as?
02:18A flasher from outer space?
02:19Inspector Gadget.
02:20It's the return of the majestic David Potts.
02:25Liberty Day, the agency.
02:27Hi, Tom.
02:28It's David.
02:29David, my love.
02:30Come in.
02:31Turn up the man.
02:33One second.
02:34Return of the love of the world.
02:36Return of the love of the world.
02:39Come in, come in.
02:40Hello.
02:42Look at that bronzed countenance.
02:45Oh, I see.
02:46I've got the Tenerife glow, baby.
02:48Better than the rash.
02:49Haven't you?
02:50Oh, my darling, we missed you.
02:52Hello.
02:53What is you?
02:55Being smothered by David's hulking embrace first thing in the morning is simply delicious.
03:01Like a caramel canal, brown, silky, and just a little bit naughty.
03:08What's your birthday?
03:09Fifth of May.
03:11Oh, my God.
03:12You're tauren.
03:13Yeah.
03:13That's the ball, right?
03:14Come on then, Tom.
03:15What filth are you going to spin with this?
03:17The most interesting sign because they're also very practical and very pragmatic.
03:22Wait for it.
03:23But then at the other end of the spectrum, they've got this wild sensuality and romance.
03:30Wait for it.
03:31It just squirts out of them.
03:33And there we have it.
03:34Wow.
03:35It's intense.
03:36I'm a squirter.
03:37I'm a Capricorn.
03:39Wet my hooves.
03:40Do you know, I'm actually quite relieved because that was getting a bit sensual.
03:44Yeah.
03:45Hello.
03:46Hi, Tom.
03:47We're ready for David.
03:48He's brought all his tauren energy today.
03:52Taurus energy.
03:53Taurus.
03:55That's what David's bringing?
03:56Yep.
03:57A load of ball.
03:59Oh.
03:59Hello.
04:02Wow.
04:04You stormed.
04:05Oh, what's under that coat?
04:07Nothing.
04:09Nothing's under the coat.
04:11Someone get a newspaper down quick.
04:12A skid mark on that sofa would be a nightmare.
04:16Having Frenchie fan in Tenerife on their second date back in London, despite his flirting.
04:22What's on your balls?
04:24Fan got blown off.
04:26I just want to say though, lovely date.
04:29But I just do feel like it is a bit more of a friends vibe.
04:33How was your date with Fan?
04:34It was lovely.
04:36Like, he's a really nice boy.
04:37We got on so well, but it just wasn't a full vibe.
04:44What was missing?
04:45There's just not the feeling.
04:48You know what the feeling is?
04:50The feeling of like, I like this person.
04:52The feeling like, I want to see this person again.
04:56This could go somewhere.
04:57That feeling that you have inside of you.
04:59It's just not there.
05:00There's no spark.
05:02I was honest to his face that I feel like we're more of a friends vibe.
05:07What it could be, and I think this is something that you really need to appreciate about yourself, is that
05:12he does like you.
05:14Yeah.
05:14Thomas liked you.
05:16Mark liked you.
05:17Yeah.
05:17Serious question.
05:18Yeah.
05:19Your dates do adore you.
05:21Do you love and adore yourself?
05:24Truly?
05:26Most of the time.
05:29Yeah.
05:29I just kind of want to get this entire experience right, because I genuinely want to find love.
05:36Like, my mom and dad are still together.
05:38My grandma and granddad were still together until he died.
05:42It would just be nice for that to be me.
05:46What was it like growing up as David Potts?
05:50Like, childhood was great.
05:52Like, I've come from a really, really amazing family background.
05:56But, I was really badly bullied in high school for being gay.
06:02Which I know isn't funny, but it's just because I was so obviously gay.
06:05And because, obviously with the bullying in school, because it was such a negative impact.
06:10It was like, if you're gay, it's disgusting.
06:13If you're gay, it's a bad thing.
06:15Because that's all I'd ever heard about it.
06:19That's awful.
06:22Yeah, it is.
06:27Erm, sorry.
06:30That's really awful.
06:33Yeah, it's horrible to think about it, to be honest.
06:36Erm.
06:37But then, when I told my mom and dad, they were so fine.
06:42But, like, I look back now and I just think, God, I wish I'd said it earlier.
06:46You know?
06:50I would argue that romantic love is not so different than the love that you have for family, for example.
07:00In that, when you are with your family, you feel safe.
07:06Yeah.
07:06I would argue that what you are looking for, the feeling that you will have when you are with your
07:11partner, your partner, is going to be safety.
07:15Yeah.
07:16It's not necessarily fireworks shooting off constantly.
07:21Safety.
07:23Curiosity.
07:23Yeah.
07:24These are the feelings that I want you to be checking for.
07:27Okay.
07:28When you're with someone.
07:29Yeah, that's a good idea.
07:31Mm-hmm.
07:31Yeah.
07:32We're going to work on your next date.
07:33Yes.
07:33And we're going to use the knowledge that we have now to put someone in front of you that
07:40you can feel safe with.
07:41Okay, you ready for that?
07:42Oh, am I, Roger?
07:44Baby, I'm bomb, Roger.
07:45Thank you, Gem.
07:46You heard the man.
07:47Get on it, agents.
07:52Back out on the street and here comes James.
07:55And it looks like he's had a proper spend up in Matalan.
07:57I need to pull my trousers up.
07:59Don't tell me he's pissed in that phone box.
08:04It's James.
08:11Oh, at last.
08:14Oh, look.
08:15We missed you.
08:16We're matching.
08:17Complementary palette.
08:18Why are you?
08:18Yep.
08:19Matching shades on the Bristol stool chart.
08:31How are you?
08:32I missed you.
08:32Wow, that's the best chemistry James has had so far.
08:36I think you've grown an inch.
08:37I have.
08:38Well, always for you.
08:40So naughty.
08:41And that's the best flirt he's done.
08:43Something you want to tell us, James?
08:44Am I fingering my clasp?
08:47Oh, here we go.
08:48You are fingering a clasp.
08:50It's meant to be at the back.
08:51Oh, was it?
08:52Oh.
08:52Oh, there we are.
08:54No, I just toss it off.
08:55Oh, I bet you did.
08:56And then I toss it on.
08:58Leave it out, Tom.
08:59Your flanking won't impress this guy.
09:01But upstairs, Debron Dog and T are talking about some serious tossing.
09:05The girls he tossed aside in Tenerife.
09:07He ended the Tenerife journey with no lady.
09:11No?
09:12No?
09:12Which is a surprise, right?
09:14I think what we really need to push him on today is...
09:20How serious he is about this process.
09:24So many questions.
09:25Yes.
09:27Hello?
09:28Tom, if you could send James up, please.
09:30Alright, darling.
09:31Bye.
09:32They're ready.
09:33We...
09:34Our time together is always so short and so brief.
09:36Oh.
09:37But we should do it again.
09:38But...
09:38We should do it.
09:39It's not about quantity.
09:41It's about quality.
09:42And that was superlative.
09:44That was.
09:45Darling, I'll see you soon.
09:47James invited PT mum of two, Scarlett, to tennis after meeting her at the mixer and
09:52wasted no time showing her his favourite workout.
09:55My kissy.
09:57The lip press.
09:58Then he was thrown into a new date with pageant model Zara with very few complaints from the
10:03big man.
10:04Have you been here before?
10:05I must have been about 20.
10:06What's the last week?
10:08Smooth.
10:10At the pic, Zara stood up for him, but despite their kiss, Scarlett didn't.
10:14And in the end, he decided not to date Zara again.
10:19Come on in.
10:21Hello.
10:22Hello.
10:22There he is.
10:23Like a lumberjack.
10:25Yeah.
10:25Just trying out a few different styles, guys, eh?
10:27Really.
10:28How was Tenerife for you?
10:29I had a great time with everyone.
10:31They're all really nice girls.
10:32My conclusion at the end, they probably weren't quite right for me.
10:36Okay, fair enough.
10:36So you chose you.
10:39Okay.
10:40You strike me as someone who's always been in a relationship.
10:44Or should I say, you're a relationship guy.
10:46The traditional relationship, I think for me, would not work at this point in time.
10:51Where I'm at is I'd like to meet someone that I could be consistent with, but without
10:55the constraint.
10:56You have the intimacy, you have the vibe, but you don't have any of the stress.
10:59I want something light, but with someone who's smart, sexy, and could test me and challenge
11:04me.
11:05With all due respect, James, I think you're looking for a fairytale.
11:12Yeah, probably, yeah.
11:13Yeah.
11:14But really, because what you're describing is you're describing a relationship without
11:19responsibility.
11:21Yeah.
11:21Yeah.
11:22Your previous relationship and maybe the intensity slash the pain of the separation, is that
11:30what's informing why you're outlining this type of relationship to us?
11:36I still have a very close relationship with co-parent.
11:41We spend time together.
11:42We go on holidays.
11:42We still have that bond, which is really important for our daughter.
11:47So part of the emotional energy I have, I have a family.
11:50Am I eager to start another family?
11:52Probably not.
11:52What you just said, honestly, is that statement is going to stay with me.
11:57I already have a family.
11:59Almost every time I've talked to you, part of the conversation has been about your ex.
12:04Mm-hmm.
12:05So are you truly over your ex?
12:09Oof.
12:10Good question.
12:12Well, come on, James.
12:13Answer it.
12:15Oh, shit!
12:24Welcome back to Celebs Go Dating, where former rugby player James Haskell is being thoroughly
12:29tackled by the P-dog.
12:32Are you truly over your ex?
12:36Ooh!
12:37Tough one.
12:38Good question.
12:39Damn right it is.
12:40This is the Brunson you're dealing with.
12:42Do I still love Chloe?
12:43Yeah.
12:43I still love her and I will always have that.
12:49I always find attractive.
12:50I still have all those things.
12:51We just, we are better now than we were when we were together.
12:57So I am fine.
12:58It's just, it's not as simple as it was 10 years ago when it was just one person.
13:04So there's actually, it's a lot of complication, which is the bit that makes me say casual,
13:08because I'm not sure I've got the bandwidth to take on all the stuff.
13:11I just don't want to have any stress.
13:13It's not just, you know, out the gate and you know, you have one date and you know.
13:18Right.
13:18It's going to require even more work on your part.
13:22Fine.
13:23To unveil even more about yourself.
13:25So that you can see if the two of you actually, if there is a place where you do meet.
13:30Yeah.
13:31Yeah.
13:31And if you don't find anyone, you can always go over to Tom's and help him out of a pearl
13:35necklace.
13:39Next to tip up at Love HQ, looking like a sexy Dickensian chimney sweep.
13:44She could shove a broom up my flue.
13:46It's Aussie free spirit, Lucinda Light.
13:50Tom Tom.
13:52I can buy myself flowers.
13:55Write my name in the sand.
14:01Hello, gorgeous.
14:03Oh, lit, love, light.
14:06Luminescence.
14:07You got the power.
14:10Hot on her heels is the last celeb to rock up to the agency.
14:14Having hunted, killed and skinned the honey monster is sassy scouser Gabby.
14:20Oh, love.
14:21Oh, I'm going to have a brace of flax and goddesses.
14:25Come in.
14:26Who got the power.
14:40Oh, look at you.
14:41Hello.
14:42Look at this glamour.
14:43Sartorial wizarding.
14:44She's exquisite.
14:47You look wonderful.
14:49I've missed you.
14:50The two people that I knew would love the coast.
14:53Not as much as a honey monster did though.
14:58Upstairs, the honey monster's brother from another mother has squirmed his way through
15:03another deep and meaningful.
15:04It was a great session.
15:06It was good.
15:07Yeah.
15:07It was good.
15:08But just so I'm truly leaving understanding is that you're just looking for the right person.
15:15Right.
15:15Yes.
15:15I'm interested to see if there is someone out there.
15:18So I'm open minded, hard working and focused on that.
15:21Alright mate, you're looking for a soul mate, not writing a new LinkedIn profile.
15:24You will be going on a date very soon.
15:27Yes.
15:28It's going to be a blind date.
15:30So we're not showing you in advance.
15:32Yeah, that's usually how a blind date works, Dr T.
15:35Shut up.
15:37And her name is Megan.
15:40That's all you know.
15:42Really?
15:43This is scary because I've never been on a blind date before.
15:47Why is this his scared voice?
15:49Yeah, I remember we're removing casual out of your vocabulary because that's not what you're looking for.
15:54That session was a roller coaster.
15:57James came in hot saying he wants a casual relationship.
16:01But I think we've worked it out now that he actually doesn't want that.
16:04And now he's on a better path of clarity.
16:06You sure, Dr T?
16:07I'll need to see it to believe it.
16:09See you guys later.
16:10Have faith.
16:11I won't let you down.
16:12We will.
16:12See you later.
16:13And off he goes with a spring in his step.
16:16Look out ladies, the husk is back on the loose.
16:19And speaking of loose, time to check in with loose woman, Colleen.
16:22At her last visit to the agency, Anna and Dr T raised her temperature by revealing her next date.
16:29AI trainer, Adam.
16:30And just to clarify, he's not AI, he trains AI.
16:34At least I think that's right.
16:35I'm excited today about my date with Adam because it can't be any worse than the ones I've had so
16:39far.
16:41Yep, that nervous laugh is because in Tenerife, despite getting hungry for her date Steve.
16:47We could do Lady and the Tramp.
16:49And getting a taste of him.
16:50On her next date with Andy, she'd lost her appetite.
16:54If we're having three courses, it's quite intense.
16:56We're not having three early.
16:58But when it came down to it.
16:59If you would like to continue to see Colleen, please stand up.
17:05Right now.
17:06It was Steve and Andy who weren't up for seconds.
17:08So let's hope things go better on her lunchtime date with Adam.
17:12Oh my God.
17:14I'm not going to give up on this search.
17:16Instead of going in all negative, I'm actually going in there this time with confidence.
17:20And in the hope that this might be it.
17:22Who knows?
17:23That's the spirit, Colleen.
17:25And here he is.
17:27It's Adam from Catford.
17:29Big up my South East London man.
17:31I'm eating on my own.
17:33She's already at the restaurant, mate.
17:34Get your skates on.
17:36I know very little about Colleen.
17:37I just listened to two of her songs.
17:40I want to go dancing or something along those lines.
17:42They made me want to roller skate.
17:43Right.
17:43Three things.
17:44You ain't from Catford.
17:45I was joking about the roller skates.
17:47And you're late.
17:48Get a wiggle on, son.
17:50I feel sick.
17:51Well, don't throw up now, Colleen.
17:53Your date's here.
17:54Hi.
17:56How are you doing?
17:57I'm good.
17:58How are you?
17:58Very good.
17:59Very good.
17:59Adam.
18:00I hope you know.
18:01Hi, Adam.
18:01I'm Colleen.
18:02Hi.
18:03So, have you been waiting here long?
18:06Long enough for my nerves to kiss me.
18:08Yeah?
18:08Well, trust me.
18:09You're probably not as bad as mine.
18:11Oh, no.
18:12Do you live in London now?
18:14I live in London, yeah.
18:15I live in Catford.
18:16Oh, Catford.
18:17Yeah.
18:18How about you?
18:18Where do you live?
18:19Oh, I live in Staffordshire.
18:21How is it?
18:21Do you like it?
18:22Yeah, I love it.
18:22I love riding it out in the countryside.
18:24So it's just beautiful views and got all my animals and stuff.
18:28I grew up on a little hobby farm when I was a kid.
18:31Really?
18:31Yeah.
18:32We had horses and chickens.
18:34That's what I've got.
18:34Yeah.
18:35So far, so good.
18:36He might not be my usual type, but I love his accent.
18:40And he grew up on a farm.
18:42He could be a match made in heaven.
18:45I've got horses, chickens, and pygmy goats.
18:48And what?
18:48Oh, pygmy goats.
18:49Oh, those are fun.
18:50And ducks.
18:51Which is your favourite animal?
18:53Oh, that's really hard.
18:54Every time I'm with one of them, I go, they're my favourite.
18:56Yeah.
18:57Except the pygmy goat, obviously.
18:59They're aggy little pricks.
19:03Back to the agency now for a post-tenners debrief with the fit and the fan.
19:08Come on in.
19:11Hello.
19:12What's up, ladies?
19:13How are you?
19:14Look at this boy.
19:14How are you guys doing?
19:15How are you doing?
19:16This is serious.
19:17This is amazing.
19:18So lush in here.
19:19It is.
19:20We're ready to get vulnerable, I tell you what.
19:22Oh, God.
19:22Really?
19:23We're so excited that we're in here together.
19:25Yeah.
19:26You two could learn a lot from each other.
19:28Mm-hmm.
19:28I agree.
19:30Having swayed his way to a smooch on their first date.
19:34Oh, you're so sexy.
19:36You want to kiss you?
19:37You know that?
19:38Mm-hmm.
19:39The soup strainer Steve failing to rise to the occasion at the pick.
19:43Ken claimed his right for a second bite of the cherry and Lucinda couldn't refuse.
19:50Aw.
19:52Oh, Jesus.
19:53Meanwhile, Gabby took doodle dude Carl all the way to Tenerife just to rub him out
19:58with toy boy muscle man Joelle.
20:01Carl, I feel like there was so much potential when I first met you.
20:04I hope that I did make you feel comfortable, but I just wanted a bit more back because it
20:08has to be both ways.
20:10And then, obviously, yesterday, Joelle was, like, so fun.
20:14And I think there's potential there for us to find out more.
20:19How was Tenerife for you?
20:21What I found the most kind of eye-opening for me is that I've never had to stand there,
20:27really, and tell somebody face-to-face why something won't work out.
20:32Quite honestly, I was shocked you picked Joelle because Joelle didn't seem as if he was emotionally
20:38mature enough for you.
20:41But the dates with Carl were really difficult.
20:44Right.
20:45No, no, I hear you.
20:46Yeah.
20:46You know, quite honestly, there's a similarity in the choices that you two made that were
20:52shocking to me.
20:53So, Ken stood up and he really made it clear that he wanted to see you again.
20:58I like that he was really direct and was like, you know, I want this.
21:03Like, there's something so sexy in desire.
21:05But I'm a bit of an earth mama, probably don't need all the fast cars and watches that are
21:10as expensive as my whole asset pool.
21:13So, Lucinda, why did you select him?
21:15You know, he's just a bit juicy.
21:17He's definitely one of my types.
21:19Yep.
21:19For sure.
21:20Her list of types is 14 pages long, to be fair.
21:23You're going on a double date tonight.
21:25Oh, are we?
21:25Yay!
21:27That's three!
21:28That was fun!
21:29Yes!
21:29Yep, there was a two for one offer going.
21:31And as we're halfway through the series, the budget is getting tight.
21:35There is the potential of something there, so you two can help each other.
21:39But more importantly, you can learn from each other.
21:41That's right.
21:42You ready?
21:43Yes!
21:43Let's do it.
21:45Oh, my God.
21:46A night out with Lucinda and Joelle.
21:48What could be better?
21:49This is going to be so much fun.
21:50Yeah.
21:51Yeah, I'm excited!
21:52Yay!
21:53Woo!
21:56On the other side of town, loose woman Colleen is off to a good start on her lunch date
22:00with the Canadian charmer, Adam.
22:02Should I ask them what brought you here?
22:04What brought you here?
22:07No, to be honest with you, I've been married and divorced.
22:11Kids have grown up.
22:12So, how many kids?
22:13I have three grown up kids.
22:15Yeah?
22:15Who have all just had kids.
22:16So, what about you?
22:17What are you looking for?
22:20What am I looking for?
22:21I don't know, really.
22:22I mean...
22:23Have you been married?
22:24I've never been married, no.
22:25I mean, who would marry me?
22:26It's ridiculous.
22:29Come on, mate.
22:30Pick your game up.
22:31And you've never wanted to marry or been close to getting married?
22:35Oh, really?
22:35Not that much for you to marry me.
22:36I'm just...
22:37Yeah.
22:37Hey, what are you doing later?
22:39You've got time, yeah.
22:41Um, no, I've never...
22:43I mean, I don't know.
22:44I mean, I've had occasions when, you know, I thought I might marry somebody, but I mean, why
22:47would you...
22:48I mean, what's...
22:49I don't get what's the point.
22:50I mean, really, if you're close to somebody, you're having a nice time with them.
22:53No kids, no.
22:55Did you ever want kids?
22:56I mean, I like kids.
22:59I get along with kids.
23:00But I want kids, though.
23:02It's always nice when you even hand them back.
23:03You know?
23:04It's like...
23:05I tried doing that with a midwife.
23:07Apparently, that's not how it works.
23:09Not a very family-oriented family, in the sense that, you know, like, I love my family,
23:15but I'm not like...
23:16You don't have to see them every minute.
23:17Yeah.
23:17Exactly, exactly.
23:18Coming from someone who's very close to their family, it's kind of a red flag for me that
23:23Adam is saying that he's not family-orientated, really, at all.
23:27And I think I'm going to have to spend time working out exactly who Adam is.
23:33Do you find it difficult to be tactile and...
23:36Oh, my God.
23:37I mean, no.
23:38Not at all.
23:39Yeah.
23:40I've never seen a man look more uncomfortable at that question.
23:44You went, no.
23:44Oh, no.
23:45I mean, like...
23:46I was like, do I seem...
23:47Do I seem like that?
23:48No, but the way you went, no, was like...
23:50Oh, yeah?
23:50Don't test that.
23:51No, I just found it, frankly, surprising you would say that.
23:54Oh, shit.
23:55You might want to fetch your roller skates, Adam.
23:57This ain't looking good.
24:07Welcome back to Celebs Go Dating, where Colleen is nearing the end of her date with Catford-based
24:12Canadian, Adam.
24:13Where, despite what looked like a positive start to the date, Adam started throwing out
24:18more red flags than a Chinese military parade.
24:21Big up, Xi Jinping.
24:22It has been lovely, so...
24:24Yes, cheers.
24:25Can we do this with coffee?
24:26Lovely evening.
24:27Can we toast with coffee?
24:28Is that allowed?
24:28You can toast with anything.
24:29All right, well...
24:30Oh, spoke too soon?
24:31Maybe Mr. Canada is stealing with a shot.
24:34Should we get our lovely waiter over here?
24:35Yeah.
24:36Can we get a bill from you, please?
24:38Oh, what gentleman?
24:41So, are you paying tonight?
24:42Whoa!
24:43Okay, he's gone in.
24:46I mean, you're the celebrity after all.
24:48Oh, God, he's doubled down.
24:50You're the one rolling in the money.
24:52Oh, my God, triple down.
24:54I'm not a daytime celebrity TV personality.
24:58Oh, don't have.
25:00Oh, she did not like that.
25:09Well, you can pay your celebrity.
25:11And I thought, oh, bye-bye, Adam.
25:14I ain't your Eve, that's for sure.
25:17Not because I don't think I should pay a bill,
25:20but I'm quite old-fashioned that in the first date
25:22I think the man should offer.
25:24Lovely meeting you.
25:25Likewise.
25:26Yeah.
25:26And if you're ever in London
25:27and you want to see, you know, meet up again sometime,
25:30let me know.
25:30Never has great sounded so unconvincing.
25:33He's got a very kind face, but then gradually went on
25:37and things started to be said.
25:38I thought, no.
25:39Thank you so much.
25:40See you soon.
25:41Bye-bye.
25:42Wow, proper Irish exit, that.
25:44Oh, God, give me strength.
25:47Fucked right off.
25:48When it came to who was going to pay for the bill,
25:50you know, I made a little joke about her being a celebrity.
25:52Yeah, the punchline was her paying the fucking bill, though.
25:55I had a really nice time.
25:56And I'd like to think that she did.
25:58And I'd like to think I know the answer to this.
26:00But, Colleen?
26:01No, disaster.
26:03Can't wait to speak to the agents.
26:04Oh, shit.
26:06Across town, Lucinda and Gabby are charged up
26:08and ready for another outing with their Tenerife talisman.
26:12Thirsty big boy Ken and smooth-talking baby-faced Joelle.
26:19Oi, close the door, bloody celebs.
26:23I love a round table.
26:24I'm so glad that we're here before then.
26:26Just next to me, though.
26:27It's a bit of a slip-in, isn't it?
26:29Oh, Christ.
26:29I feel like I'm...
26:30Whoa!
26:31Okay, jacket's off.
26:33I'm not taking my jacket off.
26:36Zone in.
26:37Zone in.
26:37Okay.
26:38Deep breath, all good.
26:41That's it.
26:42Get in the zone, girls.
26:43Because coming in strong are these two absolute players.
26:47Give me that hot sauce, hot sauce, hot sauce.
26:50Tip of my tongue to let me go.
26:51Fuck me, how many flowers they got?
26:54Is it sweet or is it spicy?
26:56Lucinda, during the date, we're going to be talking
26:59and doing a little bit more than talking after that.
27:02What do you mean, Ken?
27:03A coffee and a stroll down the Thames?
27:05Nah, he talking about the bang bang.
27:08Look at the hands of me, boys.
27:10Aw, looking beautiful.
27:12How are you?
27:13I'm good, thank you very much.
27:14How'd you get through?
27:16Wow!
27:17How's it for you?
27:17How many is this?
27:18A hundred.
27:19A hundred red roses.
27:21That is a first for me.
27:22Jalal has come on fire.
27:24And he's looking pretty fire too.
27:26How are you?
27:28How are you?
27:28I feel good.
27:29You look amazing.
27:30Look at that.
27:31Wow.
27:32You look very dapper yourself.
27:34Aw, can you sweetie with the flowers and you look hot diggity damn.
27:38What a fine specimen of a man.
27:41Very spunky.
27:42So different seeing people in London rather than Tenerife, right?
27:47Yeah.
27:47That's what I'm saying.
27:48I think Tenerife was just a lot of just wetness, shorts.
27:52Wetness?
27:53Oh, sorry.
27:53I mean, there's nothing wrong about wetness.
27:57And Ken's off.
27:58Hold tight, everyone.
28:00I know that you guys wish you could have gone on walk part.
28:02We do.
28:02There's always a second chance for everything.
28:03I would have loved to have gone down a slide with you.
28:06Well...
28:06I'm disappointed we didn't get that.
28:08It's never too late to go down a slide with you.
28:11Dad, you've been here two minutes.
28:12Chill out.
28:13Let me get the tropical kiss because I feel like I'm going to be lucky tonight.
28:17Here we go, my man Ken's after some of that sweet tasty splish-splish.
28:26Across town and splashing his way through London puddles in search of no strings cuddles is this posh flanker.
28:33I sort of said I wanted something casual, relaxed, a bit of fun.
28:37That was a big no-no.
28:38But what I meant was, you know, I just want to take things a little bit more chilled.
28:42So hopefully tonight we'll be sure.
28:44And the lucky lady about to scrum down with James' new chill vibes is Megan.
28:49I do think that James would be what my friends class as my type.
28:53I don't think I personally have a type, but I think he is someone that I could fancy.
28:58Oh, this is looking good. Come on, Askel, don't screw it up.
29:02How are you doing?
29:03Hello, I'm all right. How are you?
29:04I'm James. Nice to meet you. How are you doing, all right?
29:06I'm Megan.
29:06Hi, Megan.
29:07Let me pull your shirt off if you don't.
29:08Oh, thank you.
29:09No problem. My pleasure.
29:12You good?
29:13Yeah. Better than I was earlier. It's so cold.
29:16Um, I've never been on a blind date.
29:18Have you not?
29:19I have never been on a blind date.
29:21You?
29:21I've been on one.
29:22Okay.
29:22And it's safe to say that I didn't go on a second date with him.
29:25He was like, so, something about playing football.
29:28And I was like, yeah, I'm not going to lie, but I actually don't fancy footballers.
29:30What about lump heads who play with the egg-shaped ball?
29:33Yeah, I might fancy rugby players a little bit more.
29:35Here we go.
29:36Although apparently he's a DJ now.
29:39What about them?
29:40They're scrawny.
29:41Ah.
29:41You like a bit more of a...
29:43A manly man.
29:44A manly man.
29:44Do I look like a manly man?
29:45You look like a man who's way too thirsty for compliments, to be honest.
29:49Yeah, you do look like a man.
29:50That's right.
29:52You look beautiful, by the way.
29:54Um, so what do you do?
29:56I'm in childcare.
29:57Okay.
29:58By what kind of thing?
29:59Um, deputy manager of a preschool, so it's early years.
30:03Like it?
30:03Yeah, I love it.
30:04I've done it for ten years.
30:05Okay.
30:05Um, it's exhausting.
30:08Yeah, I can imagine, yeah.
30:10And also, like, going home to my son.
30:13Okay.
30:13I am then like, children, children, children, children.
30:16And then it gets to point we have to socialise with adults.
30:17I'm like, I don't know how to.
30:19Yeah.
30:19I can sing the wheels on the bus and that's about it.
30:20Well, I mean, I still sing the wheels on the bus.
30:22Sing it!
30:23It's the best track on your DJ mix.
30:25Cheers, babe.
30:27To blind dates.
30:28To blind dates.
30:31Back to the double date now, where Lucinda and Gabby are going twos up with Ken and Joelle.
30:36And it seems Lulu is on a mission.
30:39We really like the sound of getting some oysters for the, uh, what is it?
30:44There's no aphrodisiacs.
30:45Jesus, that's the last thing Ken needs.
30:48It's going down tonight.
30:49Yes, indeed.
30:50Yeah, Ken is not a man who needs help with his libido.
30:53So, guys, I feel like we need to make a toast.
30:56Yes.
30:57To a new beginning.
30:58Yeah?
30:59Cheers.
31:00Nice to see you.
31:01And to no expectations.
31:03Yeah, probably a little bit late for that with this geezer.
31:05Me and you, what I'm looking for, you really know that I'm looking for you.
31:10But I feel like artists, like, we're looking for just something more natural.
31:13We don't want to force anything.
31:14If it happens, it happens, right?
31:16Yeah.
31:17Even just that eye contact man, I know that.
31:19Don't make me jump over the table, Gabby.
31:22Just stop that right now.
31:24So, Gabby, answer the question.
31:25What are you looking for?
31:26You want to be able to have fun with someone as your best friend.
31:29Yeah.
31:29But you also want to have this spicy fun.
31:32100%.
31:33Would you say you're a relationship person, then?
31:34Yeah.
31:34Okay.
31:35I've been in a few long-term relationships.
31:38Yeah.
31:38So, 2018, about five years.
31:41Wow.
31:42But I was with a woman.
31:43You was with a woman?
31:44I was twosomes, threesomes, foursomes, and moresomes.
31:48That's amazing.
31:54Ken thinks it's fucking Christmas.
31:57Guys, listen.
31:59I mean, I've got a pet house in Chelsea.
32:02Can we go there tonight?
32:03No.
32:04100%.
32:04No, listen.
32:05No, we're not having a foursome tonight, but I just want to go and see it.
32:06No, but we can have an after party.
32:08Listen, she lives like...
32:09Not a foursomes with these lot.
32:10No, but it's got to be a foursome because it's four of us guys.
32:12I like my one-on-one first.
32:13Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
32:14You know what I'm saying?
32:15I can't let anyone just have a taste of my woman.
32:17I ain't even had the taste of my soul.
32:19That's wild.
32:19I understand that, but have more drinks and then you change your mind.
32:23You change your mind.
32:24You change your mind.
32:24No.
32:25No foursomes, Ken.
32:26I feel like Ken needs to be putting a field on his own like a horny ball.
32:30It could be a bit too much.
32:32It could be.
32:32You think it's a bit too much?
32:34Anyway.
32:34Yeah, look.
32:35Oh my God.
32:36Ken is so full on.
32:37I haven't even had a chance to speak to Joelle yet.
32:39Do you live at home?
32:40Yeah.
32:41So I was living up in Corinth.
32:42She just moved back down to Ken.
32:43Well, that's a massive yes.
32:45Maybe you can move into Ken's penthouse.
32:49No, no, no, no.
32:51I'm waiting for that.
32:52I've got a spare room for Luciana.
32:54Luciana?
32:54My name's Luciana.
32:55Oh my God.
32:56I'm not Luciana.
32:57I apologise.
32:58Kim, whatever we had has gone right out the door.
33:00What have you just called me?
33:02Lucian?
33:02Lucifer?
33:02That is outrageous.
33:07Thank you very much.
33:08I think we'll maybe take the oysters away.
33:10It's too late.
33:11He's already erect.
33:23Welcome back to Celebs Go Dating.
33:25Over on the double date, forgetful Ken is trying to get more intel on Lucinda or whatever her name is.
33:34Gab, what do you know about Lucinda?
33:36I know that Lucinda is not about anything materialistic.
33:40It's not all about businesses and properties you own.
33:43100%.
33:43It's not all about labels.
33:45She's letting you know.
33:46I know.
33:46Well, I'm just not really interested in that.
33:49100%.
33:50It's not my thing.
33:51100%.
33:52I just want heart and soul and integrity.
33:55Passionate.
33:56100%.
33:56Just not with you.
33:57Yeah, but even maybe a bit more than passionate.
34:00Hey.
34:02That's your wild game.
34:04That's my holiday.
34:05That looks good.
34:06Being passionate is good, but you can also be over-passionate.
34:10Oh, yeah?
34:10How's that?
34:11You can also always be right, but also be wrong.
34:14Come again?
34:15You can also be wrong, but also be right.
34:17Yeah, fascinating stuff, Joelle.
34:18But I'll let the Bokal flowers do the talking for you next time.
34:21I really believe every word you say.
34:24Translation?
34:25I don't really understand it, but I definitely believe you said it.
34:27Well, thank you.
34:28I appreciate it.
34:29Yeah, you really speak true.
34:30Just in a really abstract way.
34:33What's your red flag?
34:34Arrogance.
34:35Mm-hmm.
34:35Flashiness.
34:36Okay.
34:37Like, I've got this.
34:38I do that.
34:39Okay.
34:40Yeah, they are a red flag for me.
34:42And you, Ken?
34:43Okay, my biggest ache is smell.
34:44Hygiene is important.
34:46I mean, I don't want to smell nothing, like,
34:47apart from perfumes and, yeah, hygiene.
34:51Um, my biggest passion is, uh, I'm very ambitious.
34:55Eh?
34:56That's not a red flag.
34:57Oh, right, he's talking himself up again.
35:00I mean...
35:01I'm not.
35:01It's, it's, it's pretty obvious.
35:03Right, listen, that is it.
35:05Ken is just spouting a load of bollocks.
35:07I've had enough.
35:08I'm gonna call it.
35:09Yes, Gabby.
35:10On that note.
35:11All right.
35:11We'll give you...
35:12Back in a minute.
35:12We're gonna be back.
35:13Wait, where are you ladies going?
35:15I think we're gonna pound around nines.
35:17Oh, okay, cool.
35:17We'll be back.
35:18We'll be back.
35:19Are you thinking about the date?
35:21I feel like the date is going good.
35:23I feel like I'm gonna make a move.
35:25I don't think Ken has read the room properly.
35:27Maybe we could get Joel to explain it to him.
35:30And tell us off.
35:32Er, on second thoughts...
35:34Babe.
35:36Ken.
35:37Everything that you're saying is coming from a place of, like, performance.
35:41Like, I'm sorry if I'm being, like, too hard saying that.
35:43No, that's what I love about you, your directness.
35:45And I feel like you've got such a good attunement of person, and I see it too.
35:49The other night when we had the one-on-one date together, we were sort of in each other's chemistry
35:54spell.
35:55But in this dynamic, I'm just, I can really see him for where he's at.
36:01But it's not what I want.
36:03Yeah.
36:03I need depth and presence.
36:05I actually need to be brave and maybe speak some words directly to him.
36:10Yeah, but I get the feeling that whatever words you use, he'll still just hear,
36:14do you want to force them?
36:17Over to Hasky Boy's date, where he's putting the agent's advice into practice.
36:21He's stopped talking for a whole five minutes, and so now Megan's spilling the beans.
36:26How many brothers and sisters are you?
36:28I've got two younger sisters.
36:28Oh, okay.
36:30Okay.
36:31And, like, did you get on with them?
36:32I get on with them, yeah.
36:33Oh, fine.
36:33They're closer with each other than I am with them.
36:36What was that?
36:37We did have a bit of a rocky childhood.
36:42Oh, really?
36:43How?
36:44We were on Super Nanny.
36:46Blimey, she's not just spilled the beans, she's spilled the full English.
36:50Super Nanny?
36:51Mm-hmm.
36:51Well, that TV programme thing?
36:53How bad were you?
36:57Um...
36:57Because it...
36:58It's quite...
36:59It's quite a, um, well-known episode.
37:02How bad were you?
37:04I bit her.
37:05I hit her.
37:06I called her a bitch.
37:07She was annoying, to be fair.
37:09Yeah.
37:09Really?
37:10So you were an ill-disciplined little nightmare?
37:13No.
37:13I think I was just...
37:15challenging.
37:16Yeah, that look says what you said, James.
37:19Challenging!
37:20I mean, I'm a bit surprised about Meghan's Super Nanny revelation, but let's be honest with you, you can't judge
37:26people on what happened in the past, because if you did, I wouldn't be allowed to leave the house.
37:31Sorry, but are you a good girl now, then?
37:33Yeah.
37:34I've mellowed out.
37:35You didn't sound like me.
37:36I've mellowed out.
37:37Have you?
37:37Yeah.
37:39Yeah, I don't believe her either, James.
37:45Back over to the double date now where Ken's desperately trying to keep his orgy dreams alive with a game
37:51of spin the bottle.
37:52I mean, a fork.
37:53Okay, let's go.
37:54Passing.
37:55Oh!
37:57Okay, this bears being...
37:59Give Joel a passionate kiss.
38:01That's the day.
38:01I'll be a gentleman.
38:02You don't have to go.
38:03I'm gonna come to you.
38:05Wait.
38:06I love the way he takes control.
38:09This is good.
38:09This is what I like.
38:11It's working, Ken.
38:12It's working.
38:15Okay, that's...
38:17That's...
38:18That's good.
38:19That's...
38:20That's hard.
38:21Okay, so who wants to spin?
38:23Do you know what?
38:24I'm struggling.
38:29I think we had really good energy the other night, but if I'm really true to me, I think I
38:33am looking for something different.
38:35Like what?
38:35What different?
38:36Oh, you know, someone less force of me.
38:39I think it's an energy thing that I'm just like, I think you're quite flashy.
38:44Not really.
38:44You know, your cars and watchers.
38:46Okay.
38:46It's an energy that is a bit unexplainable.
38:49I can explain it for you.
38:51Awkward.
38:53I feel like you judge me without getting to know who I actually am.
39:00You'll see me, which a lot of people do.
39:02They see me, oh, he's flashy enough, but I'm not.
39:04I feel like there's another side of me that you totally bypassed and you didn't really acknowledge.
39:09Maybe you should have led with that rather than the penthouse orgy stuff.
39:13Just saying.
39:14It's my fault because I thought you and I had an understanding.
39:19I just wanted everybody to be comfortable, but I didn't know making everybody comfortable is going to cost me this.
39:25I'd hate to see you make people feel uncomfortable.
39:28You didn't give me that opportunity to show you who I am.
39:31Oh, God.
39:33This is awkward.
39:34Oh, dear.
39:35What now?
39:36Um, Gabby?
39:37Joel?
39:38I suppose we'll leave you to it.
39:42I reckon we should let these lovebirds have their own moment.
39:46100%.
39:47Should we do that?
39:47I'm going to take my flowers.
39:49Okay.
39:50See you guys.
39:51Bye.
39:51Love you.
39:52I love you.
39:53Enjoy.
39:54I'll leave it to you.
39:55See you.
39:56See you, legend.
39:56See you later.
39:57See ya.
39:58Yeah.
39:59Have fun, you two.
40:01You too.
40:02Wow.
40:03It's so alright.
40:06Where do we start?
40:12Look, I am feeling a little bit tender.
40:15I feel like I've never rejected a hotter man in my life.
40:19100%.
40:19Awesome.
40:21Don't worry.
40:22I'm feeling kind of shocked, actually.
40:25I wasn't expecting the little twist towards the end.
40:28See you, Ken.
40:29Go well.
40:31I feel like I want to get my flowers back.
40:35Don't worry, you'll be able to fish some out the Thames later.
40:38I've really worked hard to be who I am in this life.
40:42I'm just looking for something different.
40:45I'm still regretting I didn't have sex with him.
40:48Ken!
40:49Get back here, son!
40:50She's ready!
40:52100%.
40:54Across town, James has been told to dial it up by the agent on his date with legendary former
40:59nanny biter Megan.
41:00She's grown up now, thankfully.
41:03How come you're single?
41:04Is that a choice or vibe?
41:06Have you got to date you or what?
41:07I don't really do dates.
41:09You don't do dates?
41:10No.
41:10I have got dating apps.
41:12You both?
41:12I get scared and I get bored.
41:14I've never been on a date now.
41:16You never?
41:16This is why tonight with a blind date was really...
41:19Daunting.
41:19Do you know what?
41:21I'm not ever daunting because I'm like...
41:22I'll talk to myself.
41:23I can talk on glass eyes to sleep.
41:24Sorry, what was that I nodded off?
41:27I just think for me, I like meeting people and talking.
41:30So if you were at a bar and I saw you, I'd come and talk to you, I'd ask your
41:34number.
41:34If we had a vibe, I'd know so I'd go on a date.
41:36Yeah, yeah.
41:36They actually don't have any of that.
41:38No, exactly.
41:38So is it someone going to fit into your life or would it be hard?
41:42I don't know.
41:42It depends what their life's like, I think.
41:45How about a chaotic shambles wrapped in a nightmare in a box of chaos?
41:48Sounds like someone needs super nanny.
41:51That sounds great.
41:52I bet.
41:52Sounds really appealing.
41:54Yeah, I understand.
41:56So what would you usually go for in a partner?
42:00I don't mind race, gender, not gender, sorry.
42:05That would be an interesting one.
42:07That would be a massive confession, by the way.
42:10Dr T, yep, clear schedule tomorrow.
42:12I think you've got some serious unpacking to do with James.
42:14He's into dick.
42:15What about you?
42:16Dark bottom receding hairline.
42:17That's the title of my next book.
42:19You'll be all right.
42:20Oh, thank you.
42:21Cheers, pal.
42:23You going hard?
42:25No, I'll get this.
42:25Are you sure?
42:26Do you know what?
42:27I'm very sure.
42:28Oh, I'd quite like to date James.
42:32Oh, hold on.
42:33Oh, see, I'm going to have to.
42:36I'm going to have to play.
42:38Embarrassing.
42:38Cheers, pal.
42:40My pleasure.
42:41That was a vibe.
42:42I really enjoyed that.
42:43Good.
42:44It was nice.
42:45So, yeah, hopefully we'll catch up again.
42:48Yeah?
42:49I'd be happy to.
42:51Oh, fine.
42:51Well, let's...
42:52Yeah, I'm keen.
42:53Good.
42:53I had a really nice time.
42:55I wasn't sure what to expect as I had no sort of frame of reference.
42:59I had nothing to go on, but she was really nice.
43:02She looked really beautiful and she was a vibe.
43:04So, I'm very happy.
43:04Nice one, James.
43:05But how did Megan feel?
43:07Shall we go?
43:08Yeah.
43:08He is really genuinely lovely and it was really easy to have conversation.
43:13What stood out about James the most was how honest he was.
43:17I think that's a massive turn on.
43:18Well, this has gone well.
43:20You're going to try for a conversion, Husky.
43:22Well, I had a great night.
43:24So did I.
43:24It was great.
43:25I will hopefully see you again.
43:27Yeah.
43:27I like that.
43:28Oh, his hands are on her.
43:31And he's scored.
43:34Did not see that coming, to be fair, but then I'm no rugby player slash superstar DJ
43:39slash podcaster.
43:40Ended in a kiss, so it's definitely gone well on both parts, I think.
43:45I'll catch up with you soon.
43:46Alright?
43:46Have a nice night.
43:47See ya.
43:48We'll definitely go on another date with her.
43:49I think it's important.
43:50I think we've got, we've got nice chemistry.
43:52And as we, as we kissed at the end, you know, like, you know, probably could have done a
43:57bit more, really, but, you know.
43:58What?
43:59When I say more, I mean slightly more kissing.
44:02No, I'm a gentleman, obviously.
44:06Having lost Lucinda, Ken and the rest of the restaurant, Gabby and Joelle finally get a moment
44:11to themselves before they are politely asked to leave.
44:15Tonight was a lot, wasn't it?
44:17Yeah, definitely.
44:17And I feel like we didn't get to do what we needed on our own.
44:21Yeah.
44:21I feel like we need a longer, longer time, just one at once.
44:25So...
44:26We'll see you in round three.
44:29Yeah, but elsewhere, they want to close it.
44:33Yeah, I think it's definitely necessary, no?
44:35Yeah, let's do it then.
44:37Cheers to round three.
44:39Yay!
44:40Go on then, quick kiss, then fuck off.
44:42We're into overtime now.
44:47Gabby is an amazing kisser.
44:49I feel like nothing changed from when we kissed in Tenerife to how we kissed now.
44:52Things just only getting better.
44:54The waiter will be delighted.
44:59Lovely, lovely day.
45:00Yeah, I'll see you soon.
45:01I look forward to seeing you soon.
45:02See you soon.
45:04Take care, yeah?
45:05See you soon.
45:06I've got a hundred red roses.
45:08Now you're really rubbing Ken's nose in it.
45:10That's impressive, no?
45:12I've never had that before from anyone.
45:13Any of you bastards that I've been with before.
45:17Well, as long as you're happy.
45:18I think having some one-on-one time with Joelle now is definitely needed
45:22to see if it is something that we think it is.
45:25Why don't you get yourself down to Leicester Square,
45:27sell each of those roses for £2 a pop and you'll be quid-ing.
45:31Next week!
45:32Do you love nuts?
45:33I love nuts.
45:34Why am I such a child?
45:36The celebs do some grooming.
45:37Not like that.
45:39Where am I shaving the back?
45:40Where am I shaving the back?
45:40Where am I shaving?
45:40You're shaving the back?
45:42Right here.
45:44For some, love is tough.
45:46You're okay.
45:47It just feels all of a sudden more pressured and scary.
45:51But for others, it's tough love.
45:54Most of the chat is really top line.
45:57That's not a compliment.
45:58Oh.
45:59What?
46:00And a blast from the past.
46:03I feel like we've lived a whole life since we've been here.
46:07It's a whole year.
46:08Normally I'm married and divorced by now.
46:12As our celebs.
46:13Got a bit of a salty rim.
46:14Mine's got a spicy one, that's it.
46:17Go!
46:17Have I got like a skin disease?
46:19It looks nice.
46:20Dating!
46:22Love loves you.
46:24Aye.
46:51Bye!
46:51Bye!
46:52Bye!
46:52Bye!
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