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  • 7 hours ago
Taskmaster S21e08 I Dont Got Any H 264
Transcript
00:02Don't look away
00:12Don't put that on Kelly
00:16I might just do this all day
00:20This is weird
00:22It's so tight
00:33Hello
00:34Welcome
00:36Welcome to Taskmaster
00:39Knock Knock
00:40Who's there?
00:42Task
00:42Task the way
00:45Aha Aha I like it
00:50Doesn't particularly make sense
00:52And yet the allotted introduction time is filled
00:55And thus my contractual obligation
00:57And my next expensive holiday paid for
01:00See you in Cancun Pablo
01:05No
01:06Please
01:07Welcome our five contestants
01:08Amy Glethill
01:11Armando Enucci
01:14Joanna Payne
01:17Joel Dummy
01:20And Camille Nanjiani
01:24And next to me
01:25A man had told me
01:27That he gets up every morning really early
01:30Because his postman has nice eyes and slinky hips
01:34LAUGHTER
01:35That's...
01:36Hmm
01:37It's a little Alex Hall
01:40CHEERING
01:41Hello, Mr Postman
01:44Thank you for that
01:45Prize task then
01:47What's the category this time?
01:48Well, Greg, this categorisation involves personification for your verification
01:53As they've brought in an ordinary household object with the most personality
01:57Hmm
01:58What exactly is personality?
02:00I don't know, but Greg does
02:02So he'll judge their objects fiercely
02:04And then the winner of the episode will go home with five new inanimate friends
02:07Perfect
02:08Right, good
02:09Camille
02:10What household objects have you brought in with personality?
02:12So an object with the most personality
02:15So a few years ago my friends and I
02:17For New Year's Eve we got an Airbnb
02:18And there was an ice maker there
02:21And I'll tell you his name once we look at him
02:23He... he... his?
02:26Ohhhh
02:27This is Flabbergasted Philip
02:29LAUGHTER
02:31And so just to illustrate how much personality he has
02:34Here is him reacting to the sixth sense
02:37LAUGHTER
02:38You can't believe it
02:40What a twist
02:40Oh, God
02:41Oh, Phil
02:42Flabbergasted Philip did not see it coming
02:44LAUGHTER
02:46Oh, there you go
02:47And one more
02:50This is...
02:51There we go
02:51Reacting to Joel
02:52Pulling an egg out of his crotch
02:55LAUGHTER
02:58This is John from you
02:59I'm a big fan of Flabbergasted Philip
03:01Yeah
03:02And what... I've got in my head
03:04What noise I think Flabbergasted Philip makes
03:06When he's Flabbergasted
03:07Boo!
03:10LAUGHTER
03:10Joel, what have you brought in?
03:11A corkscrew
03:12Right
03:14LAUGHTER
03:16Yeah
03:16That's got so much personality
03:18Well, I didn't expect you just to have brought in
03:20Any old corkscrew
03:21Yeah, but look how...
03:23Because then when you...
03:24Every time you get a bit of wine
03:25You open it up and it goes
03:27Ohhhh, it's wine time
03:30LAUGHTER
03:31I think it goes the other way, didn't it?
03:34And then...
03:35It goes
03:36Ohhhh, it's wine time
03:38And he goes
03:39Now
03:41LAUGHTER
03:42APPLAUSE
03:43Good
03:44Good
03:44Good
03:46Good
03:46Good
03:46Amanda, have you brought in something better than a corkscrew?
03:50I love this task outside because it made me just look at everything
03:53And in the office, the hole puncher next to the printer
03:57Does look like someone's dropped a safe onto a duck
04:01LAUGHTER
04:02This is his actual house
04:04Go!
04:06LAUGHTER
04:09Oh, and the gut's definitely dead
04:12Oh!
04:13It's dead
04:14Awww
04:15Strong
04:16Visual
04:17And strong
04:18Amy
04:19I've brought in lovely Linda
04:21A pregnancy pillow
04:24There she is
04:25Ooh!
04:27LAUGHTER
04:27Oh!
04:29And you get in there, you sort of, you can hold it
04:33And she holds you back and you're never sad ever again
04:36Can I tell you something?
04:37Yeah
04:37I have got one of these
04:38Yes!
04:40Yes!
04:40And I didn't know it was a pregnancy pillow
04:42LAUGHTER
04:43I just thought, oh, this looks like a comfy thing
04:46It's brilliant
04:47My ex-boyfriend bought me this pregnancy pillow
04:50And then he never had to hug me again
04:53LAUGHTER
04:56What have you brought in?
04:57I've brought in my gnome pig
04:59Gnome pig!
05:01Gnome pig!
05:04Gnome pig!
05:06Oh, my God
05:07Oh, I hate him
05:09You're not the only one
05:11I first found him 25 years ago
05:14Until he nearly ended my marriage
05:16Because I found him in a garden centre
05:18And he's about that tall
05:20Oh, my God
05:20Where do you ever see a gnome sitting on a pig?
05:23It's incredible
05:24Wow
05:25Oh, he's sitting on the pig
05:27He's sitting on the pig
05:28And my husband was adamant
05:30That we weren't going to put him in the garden
05:32And said he hopes that somebody wins
05:34And finally he can be away from our life
05:37But I don't
05:38And I wish I hadn't said that now
05:39Because I want more than one point for him
05:41Yeah
05:42LAUGHTER
05:42So the category is
05:45An ordinary household object with the most personality
05:48I think because Joel did such a lovely job
05:50Of giving his courtroom personality
05:52I'm going to give him two points
05:53Two to Joel
05:54Two to Joel
05:54Squash duck, lovely Linda
05:56Three points
05:57So three to Armando, three to eight
05:58Yes
05:58OK
05:59And, erm...
06:01Four points to...
06:02Gnome pig
06:03Ah
06:04And it would have been five points
06:05If gnome pig didn't disgust me so much
06:08Flabbergasted Philip
06:09Except I feel like he's become a friend
06:11I love that guy
06:12Boo!
06:13There we go
06:14Five, five, five, five!
06:17CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
06:19Right, let's move on
06:20What's next?
06:21A bit of boulderisation
06:23A soupçon of suppression
06:24And a whoops
06:26Of profanities
06:43Hey, man
06:44Joel Domit
06:45I fancy seeing you here
06:47Yeah
06:47Well, I just want to say
06:49I think you are a complete
06:51BEEP
06:52BEEP
06:54OK
06:54Thank you very much
06:55Chair
06:56I think you're an absolute
06:57BEEP
06:58BEEP
06:59Just for the record
07:00I think you're a massive
07:01BEEP
07:04What does that mean?
07:06It's a compliment
07:07I think you are an absolute
07:09BEEP
07:11Thank you
07:12What do you think of me?
07:12I think you're BEEP
07:14I think you're BEEP
07:15I think you're BEEP
07:15And BEEP
07:17BEEP
07:18OK
07:19I think you're a twat
07:22OK
07:31Alright, so where
07:34Is the
07:35Mass of BEEP
07:38It's been so nice to you
07:40You have actually, yeah
07:41Do you know what I mean?
07:45Oh, what's this?
07:46Hang on
07:47Oh, no
07:47It's just a fire safety notice
07:49Erm
07:50So where is it?
07:52Well, it's very close to you
07:54Am I hot?
07:55Yes
07:55OK
07:56Is it up there?
07:57No
07:57No
07:59Is it?
07:59Oh, for fuck's sake
08:02Honestly
08:08What happened there?
08:09Oh!
08:11Something yourself something
08:13Blank yourself blank
08:15Most blank
08:16Necessary blank
08:17When do you have blank minutes?
08:19It can't
08:20I mean it can't be
08:21It can't be finger yourself silly
08:23That would be outrageous
08:25You just take the paper
08:26You just take the paper
08:27You do whatever you want, Camille
08:31Censor yourself
08:33Censor yourself
08:34Unnecessarily
08:36I'm genuinely intrigued now
08:38I've sort of forgotten about the game
08:39Not a game
08:40It's not a game
08:41It's not a game
08:41It's a task
08:42Most intriguing
08:45Unnecessary
08:45Censorship
08:48Wins
08:48You have
08:49You have
08:5020 minutes
08:51Your time starts now
08:53Taskmaster
08:55So things that you're censored for
08:57Are
08:59Language
09:00Nudity
09:01Political views
09:06And this is where her career ended
09:09When she was naked shouting hate speech
09:17Of all the things we just heard
09:19What is the phrase I'm thinking of?
09:22Yeah, it's finger yourself silly
09:23I don't know why that was the first thing that came to mind
09:27I don't really think that you would have asked that of us
09:32What I liked Alice, you weren't making a joke
09:35You were really just working through it
09:36I don't think it could be finger yourself silly
09:40I'm actually thinking that Joel was the only one you insulted there
09:44I wouldn't have just insulted Joel
09:46I wouldn't have thought that would have singled him out in this series
09:49But I did call Joel a twat and that's
09:53I just felt safe
09:56But you became an entire shade of red I'd never seen before
10:00Yeah, it was awful
10:00He genuinely doesn't like saying bad things about people though
10:03You know the worst thing I've ever heard him say?
10:06Well, they are difficult to like
10:10OK, let's go
10:11Good news kids
10:12It's story time with Miss Gledhill first of all
10:16This is a story called Alex and his massive
10:20Once upon a time there was a boy called Alex
10:23Who was known across the land for having a ginormous
10:27He'd brag about it to make appetites wet
10:30One woman said she'd love to
10:34And share it with her twin sister
10:37Alex proposed
10:38On their wedding night he popped it on the table with one hand
10:43And asked her to
10:44She tried
10:45But it was so big it made her eyes water
10:50Alex waited till she was asleep and br***ed off himself
10:54F***ing so loudly that the wife ran in alarmed
10:59She saw it had softened
11:02Her eyes didn't water anymore
11:05She really loved it
11:08She really loved it
11:13This is a story called Alex and his massive onion
11:19Once upon a time there was a boy called Alex who was known across the land for having a ginormous
11:24onion
11:25He'd brag about it to make appetites wet
11:29One woman said she'd love to cook it right up and share it with her twin sister
11:35Alex proposed
11:37On their wedding night he popped it on the table with one hand and asked her to chop it
11:42She tried
11:44But it was so big it made her eyes water
11:48Alex waited till she was asleep and browned it off himself
11:52Frying so loudly that the wife ran in alarmed
11:57She saw it had softened
12:00Her eyes didn't water anymore
12:03She really loved it
12:13I knew I recognised your voice
12:15I wasted a fortune on those phone lines in the 90s
12:20Round it off yourself
12:24Shall we have a brief interval?
12:25I think we should
12:25Alright then it's time for a brief interval
12:27Off you go
12:28Alex good luck
12:29Yes!
12:32We let him bring his guinea pig in today
12:34It's dead but he hasn't noticed
12:37We'll see you in a bit
12:49Hello!
12:51Welcome back to the start of part two where I cast are busy censoring things unnecessarily
12:57But what's the key criteria I need to judge them on Alex?
13:01It's the most
13:02Whoops!
13:03Whoops!
13:04Whoops!
13:05Next up he's the creative mastermind of a lot of the greatest comedy to come out of the UK in
13:11the last 30 years
13:11So this is bound to be something rather special
13:18Armando Iannucci's unnecessary censorship
13:22Right here we go
13:23Right so you know what you're doing immediately do you?
13:25I think so
13:25Don't you?
13:28That's me
13:29Bit of hair there
13:31Eyes
13:33Right
13:35Bit of pixelating
13:40Right so here we go
13:41Censorship
13:42Right ready?
13:45I
13:45Old MacDonald had a farm
13:47E
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14:29Is there a time limit am I done or do more I feel like you might have done enough, okay
14:41I said to them. I think I might look like I'm having a nervous break. I
14:47Have a question. Yes. Why did it say help me?
14:52Well, I think that's rather evident
15:02Very quickly didn't I managed to rush didn't you did that yeah, and then rushed out again
15:07Did you find me in the end? I think I just wandered off into a park
15:13You were still doing it in the park
15:16On there and I threw a safe onto one of the duck
15:21Well, who's next let's try and find something that's less frightening
15:25Well, Greg, we're actually gonna see all three of the remaining attempts at unnecessary censorship with Joanna Joel and Kamel
15:32It's really hot today, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah, it's warm. Oh my god. It's balmy
15:36And the air conditioner is not working. We don't have AC here. I'm so sorry. You're not used to this.
15:42Oh my god
15:44No, not this kind of heat. This is too much
15:48Feel I'm gonna overheat. Hey, do you have any scissors? Oh
15:53Oh, thank you. Don't run with them. I'm not gonna run with them. I'm not gonna run. It's too hot
16:14Oh
16:29Oh
16:30Oh
16:30That's much better
16:32Oh
16:35Oh
16:35Oh
16:35That's much better
16:37Oh
16:37Oh
16:38Oh
16:38Oh
16:38Oh
16:40Oh
16:47Hey guys. Hey, sorry. We're doing a television show and if if you sign this we can unblur your face
16:53Okay, is that all right? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Should I sign for him? Yeah. Yes. Okay legal guardian. I suppose
16:59all that stuff
16:59It's a lovely view isn't it? Yeah
17:02Yeah
17:04Beautiful. Thank you so much. Thank you
17:20Oh, I hit the spot
17:25Oh
17:25You look better. Oh, it's breezy now, isn't it?
17:30Lovely
17:33Come on. What's going on with the...
17:37Oh, um
17:39I was born without nipples
17:42All the men in my family are born without nipples. You know what they called me in school? No nipple
17:47Nanjiani
17:48Mm-hmm
17:49There's nothing there. It's just you you should ask. Oh, sorry touch
17:58I don't know what the hell is going on
18:01There's double layers of unnecessary because male nipples don't need to be censored anyway plus
18:06I don't I don't got any oh my god
18:10This is all freaked me out so much. I've almost forgotten that joanna seemed to be ramming things into her
18:16backside
18:20Ostensibly joel's vt showed him revealing his penis to a child
18:24With permission he signed the call
18:27I'm feeling a bit better
18:29I wouldn't get too comfortable
18:33What was it?
18:34Censor yourself unnecessarily most unnecessary censorship wins
18:38Unnecessary most unnecessary
18:40I'm giving amy five points because there's no need to censor any of that because it's a lovely story about
18:44an onion
18:44There were things in all of the others that should have been censored so i'm giving everybody else four points,
18:49right?
18:49Whoa
18:55What are the scores right now alex right it's close this time amy and joanna in joint second on eight
19:01points camels in the lead with nine points
19:06Right let's have another one please well, I have a lovely one right here with bells on
19:31Oh
19:34Wow
19:35Wow
19:40Are you going to fire me out of a cannon or what's uh not sure yet
19:47You look good thank you very much safety first hello joanna hello you look like a safety conscious tourist
20:00Hello camel alex
20:05You're covered in bells oh yeah like a sort of modern jester is it very much so would it be
20:12inappropriate to call you a bellend
20:15Oh
20:16Open up the task
20:19Take the most photos featuring at least 50% of the taskmaster's assistant
20:24That's you the taskmaster's assistant must stay within the arena and will run when you clap
20:32The arena is the courtyard you must wear your blindfold correctly at all times and must not run
20:39Oh, I see i'm going to hear you
20:43You have 10 minutes and a maximum of 24 pictures your time starts when you have donned your blindfold
20:50Right so i've got to capture you using these things taking pictures with my ears
20:54I think this will be the hard bit keep putting this on
20:58And when that's on i'll start the clock right there we go 24 pictures 10 minutes don't waste your pictures
21:03There we go oh
21:05That sounded painful was it as painful as it sounded what sorry was it painful
21:09I'm also hard of hearing that's the other problem
21:16You should think about the things that the bricks of hampton court have witnessed over the years this feels like
21:22a real come down doesn't it
21:25Hard of hearing man with boggly eyes
21:28A grown woman saying so i've got to take pictures with my ears
21:32But i am very much looking forward to it well first to clap and snap it's comedian amy gledhill and
21:37tv presenter joel edmunds
21:40Have you got your blindfold on yes okay
21:4724 pictures all right and the time has started
21:51Hello
21:53Okay i guess that means the time started okay so if i
21:57Ah
22:15Follow me i can hear your little bells tinkling
22:17Where are you
22:21Where are you
22:23The bells are glass
22:25Ah
22:28Ah
22:28Ah
22:29Ah
22:29Ah
22:30Ah
22:31Ah
22:31Ah
22:31Ah
22:31Ah
22:31Ah
22:32Ah
22:32Ah
22:32Ah
22:32Ah
22:32Ah
22:53The bells have stopped you've taken the top off
23:10Oh, yes, so close you creepy creepy bail man
23:21What part of the body is that?
23:24Well, I'm sort of content
23:26It's what?
23:34That's confusing
23:39Ten seconds
23:40Ten seconds
23:40I've got a high five to take it
23:42Ten seconds
23:48Where do you think you are?
23:50I don't know
23:50Oh, I didn't think I was here
23:57Well, sort of as I imagined, not a lot of dignity there
23:59But, um, good, I thought
24:01It's really scary because she blindfolded and it's cobbly
24:05And there's a creepy, creepy bell man running around
24:07I was very much like creepy, creepy bell man to catch on
24:12So at one point, Alex was lying on the floor
24:15And you felt his heel up to his sock all the way up his leg
24:20And then he spoke to you and you still couldn't work out what position he was in
24:24Yeah, it was difficult
24:26I think I became mesmerised by his thighs
24:29It happens
24:31OK, this is the end of part two, whether you like it or not
24:46Hello, welcome back to part three
24:48Where this idiot's been prancing about in the extreme heat covered in bells
24:51Yes
24:53They have to take the most photos featuring at least 50% of me
24:56And can take a maximum of 24 pictures
24:59Also, I must run when they clap
25:01And I'm pretty sure that's the only bit Kamel heard
25:03So here he is now
25:05As well as Armando and Joanna
25:17Alex? Alex, are you there?
25:20Can we call a timeout? I have something very important to ask you
25:25Alex? I have a medical emergency
25:35Alex, I have a medical emergency, talk to me
25:38What is the problem?
25:41Right
25:54I just realized it's really hot and if I clap you have to run
26:12I
26:12Make you run you might get tired and then stay still
26:25How many photos do you think you've taken joy? I think I've taken those
26:29So, you can enjoy your last ten seconds
26:48Yes, I'm really tired
26:52Wow sweat in paint. So you all right, no cup of tea. Yeah
27:04I
27:05Know and Joanna just mainly use this task as an excuse to make him run around. I enjoyed it
27:12Oh, yeah, yeah, we could tell because you were hooting like a mad woman
27:16How did Amanda do was Amanda the most accurate? Amanda did do very well
27:20But Camille was the only one who had a proper tactic which was to stand as far away from the
27:24noise as possible
27:24When you're more likely to get more of my in the field of vision because they realized early on that
27:29he was ducking
27:29Did you realize that Joe?
27:33If that's the difference between me and come out because you know, he's an incredible actor and he knows of
27:37the depth of field
27:39Yeah, and I'm going like ooh bells
27:43Oh
27:44Joanna's tactic was to take 87 pictures
27:47And we could only use the first 24 of them which weren't your best
27:50Oh my god
27:51I can show you what they did if you want. Yes, show me
27:53So the most photos of 50% of me was taken by Camille who took 12
27:58Oh, Amy and Armando both got 10 photos of me
28:02Joanna stick photos of me Joel just three out of 24
28:07What?
28:08Oh, I'm shocked because I was like I'm okay tanking this one just to make you miserable
28:13And I won!
28:19So that means Joel got one point Joanna two points join second Amy and Armando get four points but the
28:24winner is Camille with five points
28:26Oh
28:27Lovely let's have one more task, please
28:30Oh, yes, and just like when Greg goes for a run this one involves a lot of staring
28:50Hello
28:51Ooh
28:52Joel
28:52How's it going?
28:53Yeah kid
28:54Shall I open this or
28:56Yes
28:56Are you going to banter?
28:58No, I just want to watch you put your glasses on
29:01Do not look away from this task
29:03Put nine nuts and or nails in the nappy
29:07Put pine nuts and stroke or nails
29:11Do you want to try to read that one again?
29:13Put pine nuts and stroke or nails in the nappy
29:18Definitely
29:18Put pine nuts
29:20That's the bit I'm worried about
29:21That's the bit I'm worried about
29:22Oh
29:24I read it so many times
29:28I read it so many times
29:30I read it so many times
29:32Every time you look away one minute will be added to your time
29:37We have a maximum of 19 minutes
29:40Fastest wins
29:41Your time starts now
29:43I did not really get it
29:46Oh, you just looked away from the task
29:49Put nine nuts
29:54Put nine nuts in...
30:00Put nine nuts in...
30:02I'm sorry
30:07I'm not sure we should bother saying the task
30:09I think we've had our fun with this, haven't we?
30:13It's no secret
30:14I'm losing this whole show
30:17I find reading the task the hard bit
30:22It's not looking great for me
30:24The only saving grace is I've got a fucking egg in my pocket
30:31Let's do it, man
30:32Two people up first
30:33It's Joe
30:34It's Kamel
30:35It's Joe and Kamel
30:37Okay, so
30:38One minute will be added to my time
30:40I'm gonna do...
30:40We're gonna do a quick one
30:41I'm gonna give it a quick one to look around
30:42Right, there's the nappy
30:43Right, we're in nuts
30:51You definitely just looked...
30:53I did
30:53Yes, you did
30:58Why was I still surprised?
31:05In the nappy
31:06In the nappy
31:13You just looked away from the task
31:15No, I didn't
31:15That time I did not
31:18What are they?
31:19I think that's a party popper
31:20I'm gonna do it at the floor
31:21Whoa!
31:23Um, I saw there was a hammer in here
31:26Ugh!
31:29That's just a hammer
31:30Oh
31:32Nine nuts
31:33There's a nut in there
31:36Okay, that's a nut
31:37Hey, we've got a nut
31:39Is that a nut?
31:41It is a nut
31:42It's so unpleasant
31:45But nine nuts
31:46God, that is a lot, isn't it?
31:48What is that?
31:49It's a nut
31:53No?
31:54No, that was a tiny rubber ducky
31:56And you know it
31:57It is
31:59An egg
32:05Nuts
32:05It's two nuts
32:07Right
32:08It's a nail
32:10It's a nail
32:10Put nine nuts
32:12Or nails in the nappy
32:14Yeah
32:17I've got the nail
32:18Is this guy holding something?
32:20Oh my god
32:22He's holding a nut
32:24Oh my god, are all the other things also holding nuts?
32:30Oh wow, that's so small
32:32What is it?
32:33It's a nut
32:34Oh
32:35There's something in there
32:36He's gonna have lots of nuts
32:37One
32:38Two
32:39Three
32:40Four
32:40Is this the nappy?
32:42You're making me take underwear off a doll
32:45And that feels very wrong
32:47If you won't
32:48If I want
32:50None of this is what I want
32:52I don't think it's big enough to hold everything
32:54Oh, okay
32:55So then this would be the nappy
32:57So I did this for no reason
33:00Oh, damn it
33:03It's a nut
33:04Okay
33:05Oh yeah, that's nine, baby
33:09I have got nine nuts
33:15Honestly, very proud of how it handled that
33:17I've still the clock
33:18Wow
33:19I feel like I nailed that
33:23I went through a few emotions with you, Camille, during that
33:26My fear was that people in Hollywood would be watching and they would see you jump with fear over a
33:33jack-in-the-box that you'd set yourself
33:34And then, of course, we hit upon the thing that I think everyone will remember you for
33:40And that's taking tiny pants off a doll
33:46You said nappy, I didn't know there was a nappy because we weren't allowed to look away from the card
33:50And I thought, well, I don't think I could fit nine nails in this baby doll's underwear
33:59Joanna was absolutely on point
34:01Sense of absolute authority
34:04Particularly proved by
34:05Right, this is a party popper
34:07I'm going to fire it on the floor
34:10Why? Why?
34:12I don't want to take any of the crew out
34:14Joanna had a very good tactic because every time you look away, one minute will be added to your time
34:17And you said, right, we're going to have a little look at the beginning
34:19Yeah, yeah
34:20But if you just carried on, it's every time you look away, you could look away once, gather all nine
34:24Oh my God
34:26We thought you were going to do that, you started doing that and then you stopped yourself
34:29Oh my God, that's unbelievable
34:32Camille, you looked away so many times
34:34It took you 12 minutes 15 seconds to find the nine things and you looked away 78 times
34:38Oh my God
34:42Over an hour and a half
34:42Over an hour and a half compared to Joanna 5 minutes 40
34:45Oh my God
34:46Looked away 31 times so that's 36 minutes 40 seconds
34:49Oh my God
34:50Now it's Amy and Joel's turn to put pine nuts in the nappy
34:55Is that a nut?
35:01It's a nut
35:02Oh great, are you allergic to nuts?
35:04Oh no
35:05Yeah, no
35:06Not for the nails
35:07Not for the nails, no
35:09That's a slight look away
35:10Oh
35:15Nut
35:17It's a nut
35:20Duck
35:23It's wet
35:25It's wet and that's soft
35:26That's like a hammer or something
35:28Mm-hmm
35:28OK
35:29OK
35:30OK
35:30OK
35:32OK
35:32Oh, ice
35:34Ice balls
35:35What would an ice ball be?
35:36What is that?
35:38It's icy, there could be something inside the ice
35:43Oh
35:46It's a duck
35:47It's a goddamn duck
35:49Is that a finger?
35:51Oh
35:51A nail
35:52Nail
35:53Nail
35:53These have to melt
35:55Oh
35:56Yeah
35:56Right, OK
36:01Is that a nut?
36:04Oh
36:05Oh yes
36:06Four of the nails there
36:08Can I get them off?
36:10Oh baby
36:10Oh baby
36:12It's a duck
36:13It's a fucking duck
36:15Please be a nut
36:17Yes
36:19That is a nut
36:21Oh
36:24Are you trying to melt an ice ball?
36:26Yeah
36:29It's gonna be in one of these, isn't it?
36:30It's gonna be in one of these
36:31Hammer
36:32There's a hammer
36:36Yes
36:37Alex, it's nearly out
36:39Great news
36:40Ah, that's out
36:42That's out
36:44Oh, it's a nail
36:46Oh, this is great
36:49That's out
36:50That's out quick as a flash
36:51Last one
36:53Nails
36:54I haven't got many nails
36:55There's got to be like more nails
36:57I didn't even know when we'd find nails
36:58Er
36:59In the wall
37:01Oh
37:02Oh
37:04Stop it
37:05Where's my hammer?
37:08I need three more
37:09Oh, that's so fun
37:11This is a nail nail
37:14Oh
37:15It just came out
37:16Ah
37:17It's on the clock
37:18I've stopped the clock
37:20Oh
37:21That felt cool
37:2230 seconds
37:24Yeah
37:25Oh
37:25We've wanted to use the other side of the hammer
37:30I've stopped the clock
37:31Yes
37:35Well, I often liken Joel to a child in this series and he didn't disappoint
37:42He was the only person to put nuts in his mouth
37:44Um, he shouted, oh, that's so fun to pull out
37:48And there's a nail
37:49My favourite quote
37:50I've always wanted to use the other side of a hammer
37:53Oh
37:53So great
37:54You know, it's all fun
37:55Hitting them in
37:57But I've never
37:58I've never had the confidence to pull them out
38:01You started off childlike as well, I thought
38:04There was actually a still where I thought, oh, Amy looks ten years of age there
38:08Yeah
38:08Here
38:08Oh, I'm all wet
38:10Oh
38:12They look cute
38:14You certainly got rid of any innocence
38:16Once you started defrosting ice cubes with your cleavage
38:20I found myself going, oh, Matrix
38:24Well
38:24Well, yeah, she did do well
38:26She did it in nine minutes, eight seconds
38:29Joel, 18 minutes, 48 seconds
38:31But Joel only looked away six times in total
38:33Wow
38:34By far the least
38:35Amy looked away ten times in total
38:38Okay
38:38Which means you scored 24 minutes, 48
38:41Amy, 19 minutes, eight seconds
38:43She's in the lead at the moment
38:44Wow
38:45Yeah, one person left to see
38:47And is the fact that you've kept me to the end
38:50It's interesting, isn't it?
38:51Because I might come across as a lunatic
38:54Well, I'm sure we're all looking forward to seeing old McDonalds
39:00Right, that's the end of part three
39:02Soon, someone will win five ordinary household items
39:05And then have to celebrate with them on stage
39:07In what is set to be the blandest end credit sequence
39:10We've ever had on the show
39:12We'll see you in a minute
39:23Hello! Here we are then
39:26It's the last part of the show
39:28And the first item on the agenda
39:29Is completing a task involving some intense concentration
39:33Yes, because they have to stare at the task the whole time
39:36While trying to source nine nuts and or nails
39:39And if you're after a good concentration face
39:42Then look no further than the final attempt with Armando
39:48Oh, is that a nappy?
39:50Got the nappy?
39:52Right
39:54Ha-ha-ha-ha
39:55I've got a nut
39:56Yes
39:59Actually quite therapeutic
40:01Right, I'm done with this
40:02Okay
40:03I'm bored with...
40:04Come on
40:05Poppers or something
40:06I mean, as in party poppers
40:08Yeah
40:09There we go
40:10Like that
40:11Did something come out of that?
40:12Yeah, hit me
40:13Yeah
40:13So if I do...
40:14There
40:17Oh, it's a nut
40:18Yes
40:20Whoa
40:23Oh, hang on
40:25Can't go wrong with a sock
40:26Alright
40:28Oh, yes, there's a nut
40:30I forgot that I could actually hold things up in front of me
40:32I actually forgot
40:34The use of my eyes
40:36Why are you looking up so high?
40:39Well
40:40Yes, I could look down, couldn't I?
40:42While I'm doing all this
40:44Ah
40:45Oh
40:46The hammer
40:48What's this?
40:49What the fuck is this?
40:51I don't know, that's...
40:52That's disappointing
40:57Oh
40:58Oh
40:59Oh
41:00The goldmine
41:01If he dies
41:03Yeah
41:04Yeah
41:12Who's that?
41:14Jimmy
41:15Is he like a nut?
41:17He'll nut you
41:18Jimmy nut?
41:19Jimmy nut
41:20If it is, it's weak
41:23No, it's not Jimmy nuts
41:25Ooh
41:26Something fell there
41:29Here's a nut
41:30And while I'm here, I might as well just do a general sweep round as I turn
41:43LAUGHTER
41:43Stop the clock
41:45APPLAUSE
41:49It was Jimmy Nail, not Jimmy nut
41:51Exactly
41:52Jimmy Nail
41:52Yeah, I worked out now
41:54I worked out now
41:55I just got it
41:56LAUGHTER
41:59There was character work there
42:00There was character work there
42:01Oh, the hammer
42:02LAUGHTER
42:04I think this episode has set you free
42:06Can't wait for the finale
42:08LAUGHTER
42:09Well, he was doing well, he was quite quick
42:1111 minutes, 11 seconds
42:13But there were 35 looks away
42:15So, scores-wise
42:16Obviously, Kamal, one point
42:18With an hour and a half
42:19Amanda, you were second last
42:21You get two points
42:2246 minutes in total
42:24Joanna, third
42:24Three points
42:25Joel
42:26Second
42:26Four points
42:27The winner was Amy Gladfield with 19 minutes and five points
42:29CHEERING
42:32OK, everyone
42:33Please make your way to the stage for the final task of the show
42:35CHEERING
42:42Who will be reading the task out, young man?
42:44Amy Gledhill
42:45Gledhill
42:46Sir
42:48Wearing your mask correctly at all times
42:52Tell your teammate when to stop with their mop
42:57The person whose mop stops closest to their face
43:01Without touching their face, wins the round
43:06The mop-bearer must slowly walk at a constant pace
43:11And softly squeak at a constant volume
43:16Best team after five rounds wins
43:19It's a team task
43:21Joanna and Armando are one team, of course
43:24And then we've got the team of three
43:25It's like a squeaky joust
43:27It's what Henry VIII used to do with
43:30Let's squeak joust
43:40Let's squeak joust
43:42Stop!
43:43Stop!
43:44Oh!
43:45Oh!
43:47Stay there, I'm going to measure, I think
43:49From the nose to the mop
43:51We have 60 centimetres
43:53To the middle of the mop
43:55We have 45 centimetres
43:56The team of two are 1-0 up
43:58Oh!
43:58Oh!
44:02That's very impressive
44:04On the whistle, squeak
44:32Round three, 2-0 to the team of two so far, Greg
44:34Come on, team
44:35Come on, team
44:35Are you ready?
44:36Squeak
44:38Eeeh
44:39Eeeh
44:40Eeeh
44:42Eeeh
44:42Eeeh
44:43Eeeh
44:44Stop!
44:45Eeeh
44:45Stop!
44:47Oh!
44:48Oh!
44:49Oh, that was good
44:51Ah!
44:52Team of three, back in
44:53It's 2-1
44:54CHEERING
44:56Can I be Ailid?
44:57Yeah!
44:58Oh!
44:59I'm cool with that
45:00I'm cool with that
45:00If you wouldn't mind raising your mops
45:02Do I look good?
45:03You look fantastic
45:04Mask on
45:05Do not slow down
45:06And squeak
45:07Eeeh
45:10Eeeh
45:11Eeeh
45:11Eeeh
45:13Eeeh
45:14Eeeh
45:15Eeeh
45:16Eeeh
45:17Eeeh
45:17Eeeh
45:18Eeeh
45:19Stop!
45:20Oh!
45:22Oh!
45:23I think it's fine
45:24I think it's fine
45:25It's a centimetre
45:26I've gone...
45:28Wait, really?
45:28The team of two have won again
45:30It's 3-1 to the team of three
45:31CHEERING
45:34It was so close
45:35The best celebration from Amy for a loss there
45:39OK, it's the final round, Greg
45:40Again, constant pace, no slowing down
45:42And squeak
45:44Eeeh
45:45Eeeh
45:46Eeeh
45:47Eeeh
45:48Eeeh
45:49Eeeh
45:49Eeeh
45:50Eeeh
45:51Stop!
45:51Stop it!
45:53Oh!
45:53This is close
45:55OK, to the edge of the mop this time
45:5931 centimetres
45:59Oh!
46:00To the edge of the mop
46:0213 centimetres
46:03They've won again at 4-1
46:05The team of two wins!
46:06CHEERING
46:08We'll add that to the scores
46:10Come down and join me!
46:12Well done!
46:17What an enjoyable game
46:19Joanna and Armando were in sync, weren't they?
46:21In sync!
46:22They won 4-1, which of course converts to 5-2 in points
46:26Mm
46:26So it's two points to the team of three
46:28Five to Joanna and Armando
46:29There it is!
46:30CHEERING
46:32Armando Young
46:32So, for a close episode
46:35The team of two both got 18 points
46:38They're both in second place
46:40Because Amy's got 19 points
46:41CHEERING
46:43And Amy's got her wins!
46:45CHEERING
46:46As is the show's formality
46:49Please get your objects for the personality
46:53CHEERING
46:54It's Amy Gliffel!
46:57CHEERING
46:57So paper and three
47:12And one wooster
47:14Is there?
47:17That was σας
47:19For now
47:21There is
47:24Gobat
47:26Glining
47:26At
47:27You
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