- 8 hours ago
Off Campus Episode 1
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:06Thank you for listening.
00:57MUSIC CONTINUES
01:00MUSIC CONTINUES
01:58MUSIC CONTINUES
01:59MUSIC CONTINUES
02:03You looking for someone?
02:04Fuck, no. I...
02:06Sorry.
02:06Sorry.
02:27MUSIC CONTINUES
02:29In my class, average actually means average.
02:33That is why 70% of you got a C-plus or lower.
02:37It's a fucking jock class.
02:39Like, why am I being forced to try?
02:40I probably failed.
02:41Oh, I definitely did.
02:43You think we can still drop it, bro?
02:45I can't.
02:46I need this for my major.
02:48Relax.
02:49Sure, your coach will convince Tolbert
02:51to get creative with your grading system.
02:53Um, jocks.
02:55So pretty.
02:57So entitled.
02:58Aren't you above stereotypes?
03:00Babe, I'm trying to be below one of those stereotypes.
03:04Maybe behind.
03:06And none of you star athletes should expect any special treatment.
03:09You knew what your practice schedule looked like
03:11before you signed up for this class, Mr. Maxwell.
03:13Hmm, me?
03:14No, I was just curious about, uh, extra credit opportunities
03:18to, you know, learn more.
03:19You can learn from your next assignment.
03:21Oral presentations.
03:23Okay.
03:24Yeah, definitely dropping it.
03:28Thanks.
03:29Perfect.
03:30Another D.
03:31So, how'd you do?
03:34No, I'm good.
03:35Girl.
03:36Really?
03:37Yeah, I-I wrote in like an hour or so.
03:41They're not gonna help you here.
03:42Fucking hell, you aced it?
03:44I knew it.
03:45Show me.
03:46Do you mind?
03:47What?
03:49Only you get to look at things you shouldn't?
03:51Okay.
03:52Now that we got that covered,
03:53anybody wanna hazard a guess
03:55as to what we will be discussing today?
04:02There goes your manic pixie dream boy.
04:03Stop.
04:04Dressed in coal's not my anything.
04:06It's not too late.
04:07It's not too late.
04:09You are intolerable.
04:11Did she do it?
04:12Did she talk to Justin Cole?
04:13No, no.
04:13She's too busy pining wistfully from afar.
04:16He has literally no idea who I am, okay?
04:18Am I supposed to just bling myself at him?
04:19Yes.
04:20Mona!
04:20I've said maybe two words to the guy,
04:22and they weren't even good words.
04:23Yana, you love his music,
04:25and you've been crushing on him for weeks.
04:26Mona!
04:26Sound jakes at five.
04:27You're on at nine, okay?
04:28Eight words, ever.
04:30Hey, Mona.
04:32Who's Mona?
04:33I think you.
04:37I'm not Mona.
04:38It is an M, though, right?
04:40Not even close.
04:41What do you want, Garrett Graham?
04:43Pedals to walk on?
04:44Maybe another fancy gym that costs thousands of dollars,
04:47even though the theater department is literally falling apart.
04:49Hmm.
04:51So, uh, I failed that paper.
04:53Sounds like a lot of people did.
04:55And I was thinking it'd be great if I didn't fail again.
04:59So.
05:01Was there a question in there?
05:02There's a question.
05:03I don't think I heard a question.
05:05You guys are late for a scene study.
05:07All right, go.
05:07I'll see you at dinner.
05:09Bye, Mona.
05:11I need your help.
05:13Wow.
05:14What?
05:15See, usually with questions,
05:17voices kind of go up at the end,
05:18and your voice didn't do that, so.
05:21Okay.
05:21Could you, pretty pleased with sugar on top,
05:25help me study so that I don't fail spectacularly?
05:27Better.
05:28But no.
05:30Come on.
05:31Do me a solid.
05:32I mean, you kind of owe me for that sneak peek.
05:34That was an honest mistake.
05:36Was it?
05:36I mean, tons of girls would have paid good money
05:38for the view you got, so.
05:40Okay, I'm scarred for life.
05:41If anything, you owe me.
05:43Well, I have to ace the oral presentation
05:45or I can't play.
05:46Okay, believe it or not,
05:47I have my own priorities
05:48that have nothing to do with bar hockey.
05:49Find another tutor, dude.
05:55Turns out I'm still 20
05:58When I'm acting middle-aged
06:00Same old conversation
06:02All this small talk that I hate
06:05And I never thought I'd say it
06:08But I'm sick of everyone
06:09I need to sweat it out
06:12I need to have some fun
06:15Get the cards and the cards
06:16Get the cards and the cards and the club
06:18Go to the dance and the boys gonna love this
06:21I'm picking their lips
06:22Wishing they had them big boy hands
06:24All on my hips
06:26Everybody's on some drugs
06:28Everybody wants some love
06:29I don't want shit
06:30I don't need to chase that hit
06:32As long as I got my boys and girls
06:35I'm rich
06:36Oh, shit!
06:37Come on
07:10Hey. Wanted to talk to me?
07:12If this is about being late, I have a new idea for a shortcut.
07:19Oh. Oh, you have your bad news face.
07:24It's your scholarship.
07:26It's not happening this year.
07:28What?
07:29Budget cuts don't even get me started.
07:32No, we're three weeks into the semester.
07:34How can... No, no, they can't. No.
07:37We'll get you an appointment with the financial aid office.
07:39They can help.
07:41No, they're just gonna give me another work-study job.
07:43I can barely do all my schoolwork as it is.
07:46Oh, my God.
07:47Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
07:49Don't stop breathing.
07:50You need air to process and live.
07:53Yeah, I also need money.
07:55Is there another scholarship I could apply for?
07:58Another classical composition scholarship?
08:02I could switch concentrations. Performance?
08:05Girl, we both know you're a much stronger composer than clarinetist.
08:08And there's no money in classical.
08:11Well, jazz. Jazz. I could write jazz.
08:14Even less money, right?
08:16What do I do?
08:18Let's chat again on Monday after you've had a few days to sit with this.
08:22Hey, Hannah.
08:23We're gonna get through it, okay?
08:30I-I could write pop.
08:32First place comes with a scholarship, right?
08:34Right, but...
08:35You just said that I'm a stronger composer than clarinetist.
08:37Moments ago.
08:38And I wrote an outstanding piece on pop harmonies in your music theory class freshman year.
08:44I mean, your word, outstanding.
08:46It's true.
08:46Not many people can write so eloquently about the harmonic vocal identities and the work of One Direction.
08:53Yeah, see? Yeah, I can totally pop.
08:55How hard can it be, really?
08:56Famous last words.
08:58Because the competition, it's...
08:59It's pretty steep, Hannah.
09:00No, I can do this.
09:02I will do this.
09:06Okay.
09:07Bring some ideas into class.
09:10We'll talk.
09:11Okay.
09:22Dean!
09:26Dean!
09:27Where you at?
09:30Dean!
09:31Do not give me the silent treatment.
09:34He's taking the world's longest shower.
09:36Still.
09:36At least the door's shut this time.
09:39Logan!
09:41Drains clogged again.
09:42No shit.
09:43Finish your fucking shower, I'll come fix it.
09:46Dean!
09:47Come help with the kegs.
09:49Told you.
09:50I'll be right down.
09:51Yeah, but when?
09:55You want me to come down naked, Tucker?
09:58Because I'll do it.
09:59You sure will.
10:00Never mind.
10:01Forget I have it.
10:04Maybe Garrett will help.
10:06Where the fuck is Garrett?
10:10Guys?
10:16Hey, what's up, buddy?
10:19Garrett!
10:20Hey!
10:23Yo, Garrett!
10:25What's up, brother?
10:25What's up?
10:26Can't wait for the evening.
10:27See you, man.
10:30Ladies?
10:31Hey!
10:31I'm looking at Garrett.
10:33You in it?
10:41Smells good, sir.
10:46Dean?
10:47Dean?
10:48Dude, can't you see I'm cooking, man?
10:50Say it, bro.
10:51I just fixed the shower again.
10:54Give you one guess.
10:56Oh, jeez.
10:57Well, that could be anyone.
10:59Fuck, dude.
10:59It's obviously yours, bud.
11:01Don't look at me.
11:02What?
11:03Hey, shower sexist.
11:04What's the next time a drain gets clogged in this house so you can fix it?
11:06Yeah, like Dean's ever snaked a drain.
11:08Have you ever snaked a drain?
11:10I know what snaking a drain is.
11:12I mean, that counts, right?
11:13Hey, what are these dainty fucking sandwiches you're making tuck?
11:15It's a house party.
11:17We need dippables.
11:18I'm sorry, did you just...
11:19Yeah, he just said, uh, dippables?
11:22Dippables.
11:22Dippables.
11:23Dippables.
11:24Dippables.
11:25Yeah, okay, okay, okay.
11:27Okay, okay, okay.
11:28Nothing for you, Logan.
11:29If you're gonna make all my food.
11:30Dude, that's beautiful, man.
11:31I look great.
11:33I'll be listening to you.
11:39There we go.
11:43Hey, can you play something from this millennium, please?
11:46This is a classic.
11:54Would not have pegged you for an oldies guy.
11:58Kendall?
12:00Graham?
12:03Brought you a refill?
12:05One's my max.
12:06My before game.
12:09So strict.
12:11Are you also strict about non-alcoholic kinds of fun?
12:17Like what?
12:29I'm so into you, I can barely breathe.
12:34And all I wanna do is to fall in deep.
12:40Close ain't close enough till they cross the line.
12:45So leave a game to play.
12:47Hey, so for your pop showcase tour de force.
12:50Are we feeling folklore vibes or mayhem?
12:53I don't know.
12:53I feel like I'm more of a tailor than a GoPro.
12:56You haven't fallen in love enough times to be a tailor.
12:59Yes, I have.
13:00With who?
13:03Okay, fine.
13:04Exactly.
13:05You never have crushes.
13:06The fact that you are down bad for Justin Pohl is totally a sign that he's special.
13:11So, be a tailor and do something about it.
13:24Okay, have you seen him?
13:25He's so much easier to look at than talk to.
13:29Fine, just because he can play the guitar and has tiny tattoos doesn't make him some untouchable rock god.
13:35What are you afraid of?
13:39I don't know.
13:40Okay, maybe I talk to him and his accent makes me melt.
13:43And it goes terribly.
13:45Or he's just not interested.
13:47And then I never feel this way about anyone ever again.
13:51Or maybe...
13:56Or maybe...
13:59I'm not you, Ali.
14:00I can't just find a husband day one of college.
14:04I can't talk to a guy like it's no big deal.
14:07I walked in on Garrett Graham in the shower and I fell over a laundry cart.
14:10You did what?
14:11I don't want to talk about it.
14:12You saw Garrett Graham naked?
14:15What did he look like?
14:17He looked naked and then I fell, which is my point.
14:21I can't do this.
14:23Okay, I have an idea.
14:24Literally everyone's going to block party tomorrow, including Justin probably.
14:28When's an easier time to talk to a guy than a party?
14:30Well, I don't like parties.
14:33But you love music?
14:34No, I need to work on my showcase song.
14:37That's an excuse.
14:38And you know it.
14:39No, it's not.
14:39I want to present a demo in my class next week.
14:42It's a whole and all-nighter.
14:43I think I'm spending the night at Shawn's anyway.
14:45You'll have the place to yourself.
14:47No, but...
14:47No, Hannah.
14:48I'm not letting you all fall out this time.
14:50If you want to be a tailor, you have to take a risk.
14:58I'm so weedy-o, weedy-o, weedy-o.
15:04I'm so weedy-o, weedy-o, weedy-o.
15:10I want you like the pills behind the counter that hit.
15:13I want you so bad my fingers shook with it.
15:16And we could have all of the money in the world,
15:19but all the money in the world couldn't buy us this.
15:22I want you my little way.
15:24I want you and I want you to go behind the counter.
15:29I want you to find out.
15:30I want you to find out.
15:32How do I know?
15:34I don't even know what i'm going to do.
15:35I want you to find out.
15:36I'll change my head.
15:37You'll change your clothes.
15:38My cheeks have toes.
15:40If you like them kiss me till my hips are bruised.
15:44I promise no one's watching me.
15:47Not just a body, you're somebody with a body, you're somebody to me
15:54Not just a body, you're somebody with a body, want your body on me
16:00Not just a body, you're somebody, not just a body, you're somebody on me
16:04Not just a body, you're somebody with a body, want your body on me
16:12Feels down again, it might take you by surprise
16:15My box is short, so I swear I could drive in.
16:19I change my hair, you change your clothes.
16:22My cheap tattoos, they feel like home.
16:25People talk, but I don't care.
16:28Saving you or your thing is through my head.
16:31People talk, I know they do.
16:34Let's let them talk about me.
16:39Not a body, not a body.
16:42You're somebody to me.
16:45Not a body, not a body.
16:48Not a body, not a body.
16:51Not a body, not a body.
16:52Oh!
16:53Oh!
16:54Oh!
17:05I've missed you.
17:13I've been busy at practice.
17:15Yeah, no, it's not a judgment.
17:18I just missed you.
17:28Did you miss me?
17:31Um...
17:32Wow.
17:33Okay.
17:34Guess I misread this.
17:36No.
17:38Well, I mean, yeah, you kind of did, but...
17:41You know, Kendall, I've been very upfront.
17:43My whole life is morning workouts, class, practice, repeat.
17:48The whole team has practice, Garrett.
17:50Okay?
17:50They still have lives.
17:51Yeah, I mean, well, none of them were drafted by the Bruins.
17:55So you're special.
17:57What?
17:57That's not...
17:58No, I was just made captain.
18:00So the Bruins are watching every game, how I play, how I behave.
18:04I can't lose focus.
18:06So, like I said before, all I can offer is casual.
18:09Yeah, well, I don't want that anymore.
18:12Okay?
18:13I...
18:14I wanna be your girlfriend.
18:16Why?
18:19Why?
18:20I mean, like, what I mean is, uh...
18:23What's my favorite band?
18:25My major.
18:27How do I like my coffee?
18:30What's my mother's name?
18:33Look, I don't know any of those answers about you, either.
18:36So maybe...
18:38You just wanna be with the guy headed to the NHL,
18:41or you've deluded yourself into thinking that I'm someone I never pretended to be.
18:46But, um, either way, you deserve better.
18:51Fuck you, Garrett.
18:59Yeah, fuck me.
19:11Yeah, fuck me.
19:14All right, there's a lot of hype around these young guys.
19:16The Bruins are putting a lot of faith, a lot of stock in Garrett Graham.
19:20He has the ability and the potential to be a generational player in this league.
19:24Really?
19:24Garrett is the type of player who has that tenacity,
19:27but I'm betting that Garrett Graham proves me right.
19:30If you've got a lady and you want her gone
19:34But you ain't got the guts
19:38She keeps nagging at your nut and dance
19:42And got the dry and nuts
19:45For a fee, I'm happy to be
19:49You're a bank of mine
19:50Come on!
20:01Come on!
20:03Hey!
20:04I take it back!
20:10Move! Move! Come on! Come on!
20:33we weren't dating we kind of were yeah you and Kendall have been hooking up all semester
20:38house says hey Nate Nate okay Dean agrees with you which kind of just proves that you're wrong
20:45fuck you know I I don't have to take this slander I'm a responsible upstanding member of society
20:54I'll be ready in 30 minutes 30 minutes maybe an hour that's ambitious he gets a half hour if he's
21:02any longer than that we're leaving without him thanks Doug yes sir
21:08is your dad yeah yeah he's got a new girlfriend wants me to meet her ah that's inevitable right
21:26look I know he can uh be a dick no he's more than a dick okay but he's still your
21:32dad
21:36all he cares about is hockey you know I only matter because I am him I'm just a mini fucking
21:44Phil Graham yeah man I mean all you'd have to do is win a Stanley Cup a Norris trophy or
21:49two spend more
21:50time in your hair than a Kardashian and bam yeah you just like him okay hey your dad was great
21:59everybody knows it but no one is expecting you to be him he is all our parents have expectations G
22:11shit I'd kill for my dad to even be into hockey let alone a damn legend all right but we're
22:17not doing
22:17this for them we're doing this because we love it right yeah thanks man take a shower you smell like
22:35shit
23:01hi you're in here
23:04I can't pull an all-nighter in my room I'll fall asleep fair enough how's it coming I have a
23:12melody
23:12no lyrics though well that's great that's like halfway done right no not really lyrics are kind
23:19of a big thing in pop that's why classical is easier dude I have senior sheet music classical is not
23:24easier definitely is well have you ever written a pop song before I'm not since high school
23:33I'll come back to you riding a bike yeah maybe hey be nice to my friend Hannah you just started
23:45writing these things take time right
23:50what if I can't I'll what if I write a terrible song and I fail a pop showcase and I
23:57can't afford my
23:58tuition next semester you know like what if you're right if I don't fall in love I can't be a
24:03tailor
24:04that can write a perfect song about love and life and heartbreak hey hey you are setting the bar way
24:10too
24:11high I mean of course you're gonna fall in love someday maybe it'll be with Justin maybe someone
24:18else I just been staring at this blank page all night and I have literally no idea what it should
24:25be about what did you write about in high school what you said you wrote in high school what you
24:32write
24:32about yeah nothing it's dumb well something will come to you okay just give it time yeah
24:55hey out of curiosity you weren't supposed to open that balloons today right
25:04shit
25:29there you are sorry Bella time ain't as young as I fucking used to be I know I can't handle
25:37this
25:37all on my own you know I'm sorry sorry hey
25:50uh hello hi hi hi picking up a takeaway order for Justin Cobb yeah yeah no I I know who
26:03you are
26:04we've spoken kind of um your your band is really good oh yeah thanks I'm not like a creepy soccer
26:13fan
26:13or anything I I work here so I've heard you say good the uniform right
26:22I carried a watermelon what it's a dirty dancing um Jennifer Grey's this really awkward moment with
26:31Patrick Swayze when I sorry never mind yeah obviously I work here look I'm kind of in a rush can
26:39I oh my
26:40yeah yeah sorry thank you yeah bye smooth I carried a watermelon anyone ever tell you that eavesdropping
26:51is rude did anyone ever tell you that your references are dated it's a classic I just uh came over
26:57here
26:57to see if we could place an order or is it like a self-serve kind of day I'll be
27:01right with you
27:03you know you shouldn't fawn over him what that guy you're too available like the girls throwing
27:08themselves at you over there that's a different scenario I don't do girlfriends they know that
27:12okay well congratulations Casanova but I don't need your help refill what if I paid you I was to
27:22take your dating advice to tutor me nerd you could just ask my name usually girls just tell me come
27:30on
27:31I'll pay you anything you're the only one who got an A on that paper so so I need to
27:36play why because
27:37you get off on beating people up what hockey is the only non-combat sport that doesn't eject its
27:43players for fighting it celebrates it keep when a team is down and points in actual strategies to
27:48pick a fight for morale sorry I'm sure you're not a bad guy I just don't like hockey yeah
28:18hey just talk to him you'll be alright
28:24Papa Graham the Laurentiis great hit of McManus last week bet that kid felt it in his bones
28:31hey you know gotta keep my boy's back I like it Tucker you're looking good out there you're really
28:36finding your rhythm with the line thanks Mr. Graham we'll see you in the stands this afternoon
28:40wouldn't miss it
28:43Mr. Graham Logan looking handsome as ever you too man good to see you
28:51yeah
28:57saw that you made captain about time I'm a junior ah better late than never
29:08did you drive all the way out here to congratulate me or make me feel like I fucked up somehow
29:11look I tried calling you earlier but you don't answer
29:16I'm not here to fight can we just go inside
29:19no no thanks
29:21Garrett
29:22dad
29:23fine
29:26Cindy and I are getting married
29:31you've been dating for like two seconds six months that's not any better does she even
29:36fucking know you watch it I don't have any time for this we have a game today I know Eastwood
29:42our biggest rivals she wants to meet you your timing is fucking shit if you would just see
29:46it I didn't answer my phone because I don't want to talk to you you told me your news congratulations
29:50I'll see you at the wedding
29:51make you a man and make you a honeymoon
29:54boy
29:54real
29:55boy
29:58starin at fate
29:58I'm in the lead and I'm breaking the waves
30:00please welcome
30:02your very own
30:05Ryder
30:06Go
30:09Go
30:09Go
30:09Go
30:10Go
30:11Go
30:11Go
30:21Go
30:25Go
30:27Go
30:30Go
30:34Go
30:36Go
30:37I'd like to hear what Phil has to say about that.
30:56Derek Graham is a bigger player.
30:58I think he can play that mean physical game
31:00and he needs to be consistent.
31:07Hey, come on, bro! Get your head in here!
31:14His dad certainly taught him everything he knows, right?
31:17Phil Graham's physicality was brutal
31:19and he's always on the warpath.
31:21Making daddy proud, Graham?
31:27Fuck!
31:37It's the party!
31:38Five minutes!
31:39Let's win, Graham! Get the ball!
31:45I am curious to see what kind of player
31:47Derek Graham turns out to be.
31:49What are you doing?
31:51Yeah, fuck you and Spade, bitch!
31:56He said that?
31:58You know, Garrett doesn't do the girlfriend thing.
32:00He also doesn't do the repeat hookups thing.
32:02You've been hooking up since summer.
32:03Whatever. Good friends.
32:04And honestly, he's playing like shit.
32:07Yo, Graham's playing like shit.
32:08I told you they're fucking losers.
32:11Let's hope they keep at it.
32:12We'll destroy them.
32:14Hell yeah.
32:15Let me get some of that, Delaney.
32:16Got you, bro.
32:28I'm gonna die!...
32:29Ah!
32:31Let's go!
32:34I'm gonna die!
32:36Wow!
32:37That you see me!
32:39Wow!
32:40That you atopher is hot,
32:42You just knew.
32:43Thank you, Yoda.
33:13Hey, Gary!
33:15Hey, the game's not over!
33:26Oh, my God.
42:51We're right back.
42:54We're right back.
43:20We're right back.
43:47We're right back.
43:53We're right back.
44:15We're right back.
44:45Oh, okay.
44:47We're right back.
45:46We're right back.
46:05We're right back.
46:35We're right back.
47:04We're right back.
47:13We're right back.
47:58We're right back.
48:22We're right back.
48:25We're right back.
49:15We're right back.
49:24We're right back.
50:15We're right back.
50:17We're right back.
51:03We're right back.
51:23We're right back.
51:45We're right back.
52:15We're right back.
52:45We're right back.
53:09We're right back.
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