- 7 weeks ago
The Janitor Billionaire His Swapped Bride MOVIES
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:05Welcome to the Find Your FiancƩ AI Matchmaking Event.
00:00:09Our super algorithm will match the Hawthorne sisters with their destined soulmates.
00:00:16Boss, everything's ready to go.
00:00:18Are you sure you want to pose as a janitor at your own AI matchmaking event?
00:00:23It doesn't matter. Even as a janitor, my algorithm will still pick the right person for me.
00:00:28The algorithm's never wrong.
00:00:29Soon, the world will see our daughters match with the elite.
00:00:32It's perfect branding for the Hawthorne family.
00:00:35Excellent. Bianca's match will take us to the top.
00:00:38As for Nora, if her match isn't powerful enough, she's off to that old man's bed the moment this event
00:00:45wraps.
00:00:46If my match today is powerful enough, maybe I can escape the arranged marriage.
00:00:51Welcome.
00:00:53This is my last chance.
00:00:56Could it be me?
00:00:57Man, if I could marry one of them, either one would be worth it.
00:01:04Congratulations, Nora.
00:01:06Invitica AI has matched you with Gavin Winters, Invitica's chief operating officer.
00:01:12Okay, this might work.
00:01:14And Bianca is matched with Elvis Blyce, a janitor.
00:01:19How dare the AI match in the world with a billionaire and I'm stuck with a piss-poor janitor.
00:01:25Hey, babe.
00:01:27Gavin's the name.
00:01:28Money's the game.
00:01:29Ten billion a year, to be exact.
00:01:32Bet you're glad you landed on a stud like me.
00:01:34Sir, Gavin is Invitica's COO.
00:01:36He could have seen you at last year's Global Exec Summit.
00:01:39Aren't you afraid he'll recognize you?
00:01:41Invitica's just one of many companies I have under Mr. S Holdings.
00:01:45Their COO would never find out who I really am.
00:01:50The algorithm got it all wrong.
00:01:53You deserve to be with someone in your league, not this discount Cinderella.
00:01:58Who doesn't love an upgrade, right?
00:02:07This outcome is unexpected.
00:02:10Interesting.
00:02:11Don't worry, poor little Cinderella.
00:02:14The algorithm can't predict everything.
00:02:16Ready for dad to marry you off to some old geezer?
00:02:20Is this really the end?
00:02:25That janitor?
00:02:26He is Bianca's match.
00:02:28Fine, I'll take him.
00:02:29My fate is mine to decide.
00:02:32I'm getting married today.
00:02:34What's she gonna do?
00:02:40Just play along?
00:02:43What?
00:02:58What a surprise.
00:03:00Beautiful.
00:03:01And such a fighter.
00:03:03Interesting.
00:03:04Nora!
00:03:04The hell are you doing?
00:03:06Get that trash trucker away from my daughter now!
00:03:09What a joke!
00:03:10A poor janitor actually married into the Hawthorne family?
00:03:16Do you think maybe you'd consider marrying me?
00:03:20My AI didn't account for her, which makes her the perfect test subject.
00:03:25Look at me, princess.
00:03:26I'm just a janitor.
00:03:28Your dress costs more than my life savings.
00:03:31Are you sure you want to trade a millionaire for a shoebox apartment?
00:03:36That perfect algorithm is a scam that knows nothing about true love.
00:03:43True love can be modeled.
00:03:45Just requires a more complex set of code.
00:03:48Okay, Mr. Janitor.
00:03:51I'm not the line of code, though.
00:03:53Is she doubting my data?
00:03:55I'd love turning a doubter into a believer.
00:03:59Alright.
00:04:00Let's make a bet.
00:04:01A one-year marriage contract.
00:04:03If I've fallen in love with you, you win.
00:04:06And you'll get half.
00:04:08Everything I own.
00:04:12A what?
00:04:13A mop and a bucket?
00:04:16Where does a janitor like you get so much confidence from?
00:04:20Tell you what.
00:04:21If I fall for you, you get half a money.
00:04:24Deal.
00:04:26I like those odds.
00:04:30I'll take this janitor's pride and his bet.
00:04:33Anything's better than my dad's deals.
00:04:43We're getting married.
00:04:44I need...
00:04:44No!
00:04:46Victor!
00:04:51Let the games begin, Miss Blythe.
00:05:00Boss, that makeup took you five hours.
00:05:03You really just gonna wash it off?
00:05:05I need to start looking my best.
00:05:07Once I plant the seed of attraction in her heart,
00:05:09it'll grow into love.
00:05:11I'm winning this bet.
00:05:15Marrying the janitor.
00:05:16You have made us the Laughingstock Valley.
00:05:20Nora, you took with that loser.
00:05:22The marriage is off.
00:05:23Looks too bad.
00:05:25We already signed the papers.
00:05:27I guess I'm officially a trash trucker's wife.
00:05:30Fine.
00:05:31But when it all falls apart,
00:05:33don't come crawling back to us,
00:05:35begging for forgiveness.
00:05:36You.
00:05:38Throw out our luggage.
00:05:40Please.
00:05:41Please.
00:05:41No, wait.
00:05:41Stop.
00:05:46Stop.
00:05:57Now that you're a janitor's wife,
00:05:59you should get used to sleeping on the streets.
00:06:01Sure you can handle being homeless, sis?
00:06:03Stay away from her, Bianca.
00:06:05Poverty stinks.
00:06:08And it's contagious.
00:06:10Oh, my God.
00:06:12Has anyone seen my sister's broke janitor husband?
00:06:15I know.
00:06:16He's off scrubbing toilets somewhere.
00:06:23Where's your beloved janitor?
00:06:25Isn't backing out now, is he?
00:06:27Where are you, Elvis?
00:06:29Watch out.
00:06:52Is this the man I just married?
00:06:55Wait.
00:06:57Those eyes.
00:07:01Those muscles.
00:07:04Is this the man I just married?
00:07:07Whoa, he's handsome.
00:07:13Hey.
00:07:15Are you okay?
00:07:16Why did you jump in the way?
00:07:17I have to protect my new bride, don't I?
00:07:20Is this what it's like to be cared for?
00:07:22No.
00:07:23Don't fall for it, Nora.
00:07:24He's just your contract husband.
00:07:27Winning this bet is going to be a piece of cake.
00:07:30Fuck.
00:07:31The janitor is way too hot for a homely bitch like Nora.
00:07:37What the fuck?
00:07:39You literally just used me as a human shield.
00:07:41Get real, babe.
00:07:42This brain is worth billions to Invitica.
00:07:45Not some cheap janitor whose life costs five bucks.
00:07:48You're right.
00:07:49Brains beat looks.
00:07:51This shit scrubber might have a nice body, but his bank account is malnourished.
00:08:01Horses?
00:08:02Gavin's money really does grow on trees.
00:08:05My husband is the future of Silicon Valley.
00:08:09He might even surpass Mr. S as the richest man alive.
00:08:12Surpass me?
00:08:14Gavin's lucky he's even breathing the same air as me.
00:08:16Mr. S?
00:08:18That's an ambitious goal.
00:08:19Oh, look.
00:08:20The janitor has opinions now.
00:08:22Either way, you're nothing but a sewer rat next to a guy like me.
00:08:25It's a shame you'll never get behind the wheel of this thing.
00:08:28You'll see how different we really are.
00:08:30A Porsche doesn't make you a man.
00:08:32It just makes you a coward in a faster car.
00:08:35Oh, how poetic.
00:08:36Spoken like a true loser's wife.
00:08:39Still acting tough?
00:08:40Don't tell me.
00:08:42You two are actually planning to walk home.
00:08:47Bring out my car.
00:08:51This is where we go.
00:09:08What the hell is that thing?
00:09:10A garbage truck for a professional garbage sweeper.
00:09:14How perfect.
00:09:22Come on.
00:09:31I'm sorry about this.
00:09:32Hey, don't apologize.
00:09:34This is super cool.
00:09:35I've never been in a car like this before.
00:10:03Lucas, I asked for a small house, not a coffin.
00:10:07It's a nice place for a janitor.
00:10:10Make yourself at home.
00:10:11There's only one bedroom, so you'll sleep there and I'll take the couch.
00:10:16I feel bad making you sleep here every night.
00:10:19I couldn't do that.
00:10:21So you'd rather we share the bed?
00:10:22Well, no.
00:10:23I didn't mean that.
00:10:25It's just, I...
00:10:27Whatever makes you feel good.
00:10:28I don't know.
00:10:30I'm just gonna get some clothes out.
00:10:34Peach-flavored lube?
00:10:43You sure did come prepared for our first night together, didn't you?
00:10:47Just give it back.
00:10:49No.
00:10:50Give it back.
00:10:51Hey, come on.
00:10:53Give it back.
00:10:55Oh, man.
00:10:57His chest.
00:10:59It feels amazing.
00:11:00You really can't wait, can't you?
00:11:03We're married now.
00:11:04We'll use it sooner or later, you know?
00:11:10Sooner or later.
00:11:22I'd say the sooner the better.
00:11:26I need some water.
00:11:27Yeah.
00:11:32How cute.
00:11:33They still win this round, though.
00:11:36It's only a matter of time before you fall for me.
00:11:45Damn it.
00:11:46He goes shirtless just to fix a pipe?
00:11:49Well, I'm not complaining.
00:11:52Look at this muscle.
00:11:54He's too fine.
00:11:59Oh, help it!
00:12:01Oh, shit!
00:12:03Oh, shit!
00:12:07Oh.
00:12:09Gosh.
00:12:10No, I'm so sorry.
00:12:12I didn't know you were there.
00:12:14Oh, my gosh.
00:12:16She's perfect.
00:12:20If you think ogling after me after torpedoing me with water is going to make me fall in love with
00:12:24you,
00:12:24you're sorely mistaken.
00:12:26You're welcome.
00:12:29You like to stop?
00:12:30I'm just gonna...
00:12:32Oh, my.
00:12:33Oh, my.
00:12:35Those arms are wider than my waist.
00:12:38Are janitors supposed to be built like that?
00:12:41Now, hold still.
00:12:43And maybe...
00:12:45Oh, let me enjoy my perks.
00:12:48Sorry for getting you high.
00:12:49I'm usually a lot better at fixing things.
00:12:52No, no, no.
00:12:53Fix your apps.
00:12:54They're perfect.
00:12:57The pipe.
00:12:58I meant the pipe.
00:13:00Is the pipe fixed?
00:13:02Um, I'm just gonna go back to my room.
00:13:04It's freezing here and soaking wet, so...
00:13:08Freezing?
00:13:10Well, let me warm you up.
00:13:15What is he trying to do to me?
00:13:20All right, if you want to build heat in your core, you have to engage it.
00:13:23Sure.
00:13:24Yoga can keep me warm.
00:13:26Can you...
00:13:27Can you not stand so close?
00:13:29How else am I supposed to correct your form?
00:13:32My form?
00:13:33What, are you a yogi now?
00:13:34I thought you were a janitor.
00:13:36Guess I'm full surprise at it.
00:13:39I'm gonna spread your stance a bit.
00:13:42Ready?
00:13:47This is punishment.
00:13:49I touched his abs for three seconds.
00:13:52And now his hands are grabbing my butt.
00:13:54Good.
00:13:54Now, uh, downward dog.
00:13:56Oh!
00:13:57Deeper.
00:13:59I can't.
00:14:01Hold it.
00:14:03Don't come up.
00:14:04Please.
00:14:05It hurts.
00:14:07Dammit, Nora.
00:14:08Don't make that noise.
00:14:10Wow, you're a lot tighter than I thought.
00:14:12What?
00:14:13Oh!
00:14:21Heart rate 140.
00:14:23Respiratory rate 28%.
00:14:27Skin conductivity 40%.
00:14:31All right, your body feels a whole lot like I'm winning this bet.
00:14:34No.
00:14:35No, it's the workout.
00:14:37I'm gonna win the bet.
00:14:39Just you.
00:14:40Wait.
00:14:43Why are your hands shaking?
00:14:45You mean to tell me that your heart isn't beating like a snare drum because of me?
00:14:50Fine.
00:14:51It is because of you.
00:14:56What?
00:15:02What about your little friend?
00:15:04Why is your little friend so hard?
00:15:09She's a menace.
00:15:11I was trying to break her, but I'm the one losing control.
00:15:19Let him enter that for himself.
00:15:23Let him enter that for himself.
00:15:25Oh, boy there, buddy.
00:15:29Who's the one losing control now?
00:15:36You want me more than I want you.
00:15:38Did the perfect algorithm predict that?
00:15:40I'm gonna go shower.
00:15:44Alone.
00:15:46No peekings.
00:15:50I'm a loser, huh?
00:15:52We'll see about that.
00:15:58Hey, so my dad's birthday party is next week and they're hosting a dinner.
00:16:04You want your husband to attend?
00:16:06That's sweet.
00:16:07Actually, it's just...
00:16:09It's gonna be this whole gross wealth measuring contest.
00:16:12And Bianca and the others are gonna target you.
00:16:14I just know it.
00:16:15They're gonna make fun of your clothes, your gifts, your...
00:16:18Everything.
00:16:20So I would embarrass you.
00:16:22What?
00:16:22No, no, it's just...
00:16:24I...
00:16:26I don't want to make you go through that.
00:16:29Those people...
00:16:30They only see dollar signs.
00:16:33She's trying to protect me.
00:16:35It's funny.
00:16:36I don't remember seeing send Nora into the lion's den in our marriage contract.
00:16:40Why are you being so nice to me?
00:16:42You don't even know me.
00:16:44Because you're better than all of them.
00:16:48You deserve to be treated like a queen.
00:16:51No one has ever stood in my corner like this.
00:16:54What have you been saying?
00:16:58Don't waste whatever little money you have on expensive gifts.
00:17:02They won't appreciate it anyways.
00:17:10Prepare the best gift you could find.
00:17:13One the Hawthorne family can't refuse.
00:17:15And something Gavin Winters couldn't get his hands on in a million years.
00:17:21This was a mistake.
00:17:22We shouldn't have come.
00:17:23It's okay, babe.
00:17:24We got this.
00:17:37You ready?
00:17:41You ready?
00:17:43You actually brought your janitor husband to dad's birthday party?
00:17:46I knew you were shameless, Nora.
00:17:48But God, this is a new low for you.
00:17:50I'm shameless.
00:17:53At least my husband's face wasn't plastered across the stadium screen for the whole world
00:17:56to see.
00:17:57After just one week of marriage.
00:17:59I don't know what you're talking about.
00:18:01Are you fucking cheating on me?
00:18:03On screen?
00:18:18You brought the janitor?
00:18:20Well, Daddy, since he's already here, I thought he could make himself useful and give the toilets
00:18:24a good scrubbing.
00:18:26Maybe shine Gavin's shoes while he's at it?
00:18:29Hey, lock it off.
00:18:34Don't listen to them.
00:18:37It's okay.
00:18:40Mr. Hawthorne, I heard how much of a wine connoisseur you are.
00:18:44So, I decided to bring a few pieces from my wine collection just for you.
00:18:53Good man.
00:18:54Excellent.
00:18:56Bianca sure did pick the right man to marry.
00:18:59All right.
00:19:00Enough standing around.
00:19:01Let's all go inside.
00:19:02Come on, sweetheart.
00:19:06Let's just go.
00:19:07I am not putting up with this.
00:19:09Hey, come on.
00:19:09I didn't bring this gift for nothing.
00:19:11Let's just see how it goes.
00:19:13I don't...
00:19:14Elvis.
00:19:14Elvis.
00:19:15Elvis.
00:19:25Are you crazy?
00:19:27Pouring cold water on someone in the dead of winter.
00:19:29Just for disinfection purposes.
00:19:32With all the germs janitors pick up, you have no idea how many diseases he's carrying.
00:19:37Open a window, would you?
00:19:39Just gave this guy a bath and he still smells like shit.
00:19:44Elvis may be a janitor, but he's the cleanest one here.
00:19:50Gavin's been passed around like a blunt.
00:19:52Who knows how many STDs he has?
00:19:54If anyone needs disinfecting, it's him.
00:19:57Elvis is my husband.
00:19:59And you will respect him.
00:20:02Oh, you little...
00:20:03Mom!
00:20:04Do something!
00:20:06How dare you?
00:20:08Gavin's the COO of Invitica.
00:20:10He keeps that whole company running and makes millions doing it.
00:20:14That's the kind of person that deserves respect.
00:20:20You are unbelievable, Nora.
00:20:23It's your father's birthday and you show up here empty-handed?
00:20:27With some guy that looks like he just crawled out of a dumpster?
00:20:30You should have stayed home.
00:20:32Yeah.
00:20:33How's your dumpster diver going to scrounge up the cash for a gift for Dad?
00:20:37My Gavin brought bottles of wine worth hundreds of thousands.
00:20:42And those are just the cheap ones.
00:20:47In 1945, Romani Conti, a 1961 Chateau Chauvin Blanc, and in 1990, Henri Jaillet, Richebourg Grand
00:20:56Cru.
00:20:58Impressive.
00:20:59These must be your most prized collections.
00:21:01Well, well, well.
00:21:03Looks like our resident janitor knows about more than just scrubbing toilets.
00:21:07You're right, though.
00:21:08Those are top-of-the-line bottles.
00:21:15Especially this one, Mr. Hawthorne.
00:21:18They don't call Henry J. or the billionaire's wine for nothing.
00:21:23Why don't we go and open this bad boy hug show?
00:21:27Splendid.
00:21:32You're what every son-in-law should be, Gavin.
00:21:37Man, you win all out.
00:21:39But the bottle I brought, puts yours to shame.
00:21:45But the bottle I brought, puts yours to shame.
00:21:49You've got a lot of nerve.
00:21:51Thinking you can outdo Gavin?
00:21:53Let's see what kind of garbage you pull out of the trash heap.
00:22:02What's this?
00:22:04Homemade moonshine?
00:22:06There's no label.
00:22:08Who knows if it's even safe?
00:22:09Hell, it could be full of deadly toxins.
00:22:12Legit looks like you snatched it off some hobo.
00:22:14What are you trying to do?
00:22:15Poison our dad?
00:22:16No.
00:22:17No, please.
00:22:18Shut up!
00:22:19This is the most appalling gift I've ever received in my life.
00:22:23Now, take your street rat boyfriend and leave!
00:22:30Did it not occur to you that my bottle is unlabeled?
00:22:33Because it's highly exclusive.
00:22:46Luckily, I have this AI-powered scanner.
00:22:50It's one of Invitica's newest inventions.
00:22:52Scan any product and it tells you its exact value.
00:22:56It doesn't even need a barcode.
00:22:58This will prove that this janitor is bluffing.
00:23:01Nora, how about this?
00:23:03If your wine's cheaper than ours,
00:23:06you and your janitor boy toy have to scrub all six bathrooms in the house.
00:23:12Why are you so obsessed with price?
00:23:15It's the thought that counts.
00:23:22Seriously, who gives a fuck about thought?
00:23:25What?
00:23:25Afraid you're gonna lose?
00:23:28We'll take your bet.
00:23:29But if our wine is the more expensive one,
00:23:32what do we get in return?
00:23:34If your bottle is more expensive than mine,
00:23:38then I, Gavin Winters, will apologize to you from the bottom of my heart.
00:23:45Ugh, boring.
00:23:46New rules.
00:23:47If we lose, I'll admit to everyone in the room
00:23:50that Nora's trash husband is better than mine.
00:23:53And I'll show him the utmost respect every time I see him.
00:23:56But if you lose,
00:23:58you have to get down and lick the wine off my shoes.
00:24:13Market price, 200 grand.
00:24:29Market price, 500 grand.
00:24:32Half a million?
00:24:34Oh my goodness.
00:24:36Oh yes.
00:24:45Market price, 1 million.
00:24:51200,000?
00:24:52500,000?
00:24:53A million?
00:24:54What are those bottles made of?
00:24:56Gold?
00:24:57Richard, you just don't get it.
00:24:59With fine wine, it's the age and the terroir.
00:25:02Now separate the gems from the phonies.
00:25:07Incredible.
00:25:08You could buy a whole house with this kind of money.
00:25:10Bianca's new husband is quite impressive.
00:25:13Just a token of my appreciation, Mr. Hawthorne.
00:25:18These bottles are reserved for Invitica's most distinguished VIP clients.
00:25:24Splendid.
00:25:25They're expensive.
00:25:27But what really matters is status and exclusivity.
00:25:31Couldn't agree more.
00:25:32And if anyone embodies status and exclusivity,
00:25:36it's us Hawthorns.
00:25:40And as for you, you bastard,
00:25:44I demand an apology.
00:25:49Wait, Daddy.
00:25:50Let's have a little fun first.
00:25:52You really did snatch this off some bum, didn't you?
00:25:56Insult Ellis again,
00:25:57and you'll regret it.
00:26:03Shut it.
00:26:03Biggest mistake of my life
00:26:06was having a worthless daughter like you.
00:26:11Now, get out of my sight.
00:26:14Just go else.
00:26:16They don't deserve your gift.
00:26:18Wait a second, sore losers.
00:26:20We had a bet.
00:26:21You're not walking out of here
00:26:23until you lick the wine off my shoes.
00:26:27And while you're at it,
00:26:29why don't you strip that dress down
00:26:31and clean my shoes as well?
00:26:37I'll do it,
00:26:38but you have to stop insulting Elvis.
00:26:49Wait, Nora.
00:26:50Nora, we don't even know who the winner is yet.
00:26:53Elvis, you don't have to.
00:26:55It's fine.
00:27:00Price calculating.
00:27:02One million?
00:27:04Price calculating.
00:27:05How is it still going up?
00:27:09Impossible.
00:27:10That's impossible.
00:27:33Welcome to the Find Your FiancƩ AI matchmaking event.
00:27:37Our super algorithm will match the Hawthorne sisters
00:27:41with their destined soulmates.
00:27:44Boss?
00:27:45Everything's ready to go.
00:27:46Are you sure you want to pose as a janitor
00:27:49at your own AI matchmaking event?
00:27:51It doesn't matter.
00:27:52Even as a janitor,
00:27:53my algorithm will still pick the right person for me.
00:27:56The algorithm's never wrong.
00:27:58Soon, the world will see our daughters match with the elite.
00:28:00It's the perfect branding for the Hawthorne family.
00:28:03Excellent.
00:28:04Bianca's match will take us to the top.
00:28:06As for Nora,
00:28:08if her match isn't powerful enough,
00:28:09she's off to that old man's bed
00:28:11the moment this event wraps.
00:28:14If my match today is powerful enough,
00:28:16maybe I can escape the arranged marriage.
00:28:20Welcome.
00:28:21This is my last chance.
00:28:24Could it be me?
00:28:26Man, if I could marry one of them,
00:28:27either one would be worth it.
00:28:32Congratulations, Nora.
00:28:34Invitica AI has matched you with Gavin Winters,
00:28:38Invitica's chief operating officer.
00:28:40Okay, this might work.
00:28:43And Bianca is matched with Elvis Blyce,
00:28:46a janitor.
00:28:47How dare the AI match in the world with a billionaire
00:28:49and I'm stuck with a piss poor janitor?
00:28:53Hey, babe.
00:28:55Gavin's the name.
00:28:56Money's the game.
00:28:58Ten billion a year, to be exact.
00:29:00Bet you're glad you landed on a stud like me.
00:29:02Sir, Gavin is Invitica's COO.
00:29:05He could have seen you at last year's global exec summit.
00:29:07Aren't you afraid he'll recognize you?
00:29:09Invitica's just one of many companies I have
00:29:11under Mr. S Holdings.
00:29:13Their COO would never find out who I really am.
00:29:18The algorithm got it all wrong.
00:29:21You deserve to be with someone in your league,
00:29:24not this discount Cinderella.
00:29:27Who doesn't love an upgrade, right?
00:29:36This outcome is unexpected.
00:29:38Interesting.
00:29:39Don't worry, poor little Cinderella.
00:29:42The algorithm can't predict everything.
00:29:44Ready for dad to marry you off to some old teaser?
00:29:48Is this really the end?
00:29:53That janitor?
00:29:54He has Bianca's match.
00:29:56Fine.
00:29:56I'll take him.
00:29:58My fate is mine to decide.
00:30:00I'm getting married today.
00:30:02What's she gonna do?
00:30:08Just play along?
00:30:11What?
00:30:26What a surprise.
00:30:28Beautiful.
00:30:29And such a fighter.
00:30:31Interesting.
00:30:32Nora!
00:30:33The hell are you doing?
00:30:34Get that trash trucker away from my daughter now!
00:30:37What a joke!
00:30:39The poor janitor actually married into the Hawthorne family?
00:30:44Do you think maybe you'd consider marrying me?
00:30:48My AI didn't account for her, which makes her the perfect test subject.
00:30:54Look at me, princess.
00:30:54I'm just a janitor.
00:30:56Your dress costs more than my life savings.
00:30:59Are you sure you want to trade a millionaire for a shoebox apartment?
00:31:04That perfect algorithm is a scam that knows nothing about true love.
00:31:11True love can be modeled.
00:31:13It just requires a more complex set of code.
00:31:16Okay, Mr. Janitor.
00:31:19I'm not some line of code, though.
00:31:21Is she doubting my data?
00:31:23I'd love turning a doubter into a believer.
00:31:27Alright.
00:31:28Let's make a bet.
00:31:29A one-year marriage contract.
00:31:31Yes, I've fallen in love with you.
00:31:33You win.
00:31:34And you'll get half.
00:31:36Everything I own.
00:31:40Of what?
00:31:42A mop and a bucket?
00:31:44Where does a janitor like you get so much confidence from?
00:31:48Tell you what.
00:31:49If I fall for you, you get half a money.
00:31:52Deal.
00:31:54I like those odds.
00:31:58I'll take this janitor's pride and his bet.
00:32:01Anything's better than my dad's deals.
00:32:11We're getting married.
00:32:12We're getting married.
00:32:14Victor!
00:32:19Let the games begin, Miss Blythe.
00:32:28Boss, that makeup took you five hours.
00:32:31You really just gonna wash it off?
00:32:34I need to start looking my best.
00:32:35Once I plant the seed of attraction in her heart,
00:32:37it'll grow into love.
00:32:40I'm winning this bet.
00:32:43Marrying the janitor.
00:32:45You have made us the laughingstock belly.
00:32:48Nora, you took with that loser.
00:32:50The marriage is off.
00:32:52That's too bad.
00:32:53We already signed the papers.
00:32:55I guess I'm officially a trash trucker's wife.
00:32:58Fine.
00:32:59But when it all falls apart,
00:33:01don't come crawling back to us,
00:33:03begging for forgiveness.
00:33:05You.
00:33:06Throw out our luggage.
00:33:08Please.
00:33:09No, wait.
00:33:10Stop.
00:33:25Now that you're a janitor's wife,
00:33:27you should get used to sleeping on the streets.
00:33:29Sure you can handle being homeless, sis?
00:33:31Stay away from her, Bianca.
00:33:34Poverty stinks.
00:33:36And it's contagious.
00:33:38Oh, my God.
00:33:40Has anyone seen my sister's broke janitor husband?
00:33:43I know.
00:33:44He's off scrubbing toilets somewhere.
00:33:51Where's your beloved janitor?
00:33:53Isn't backing out now, is he?
00:33:55Where are you, Elvis?
00:33:57Watch out.
00:34:20Is this the man I just married?
00:34:23Wait.
00:34:25Those eyes.
00:34:29Those muscles.
00:34:32Is this the man I just married?
00:34:35Whoa, he's handsome.
00:34:41Hey.
00:34:43Are you okay?
00:34:44Why did you jump in the way?
00:34:46I have to protect my new bride, don't I?
00:34:48Is this what it's like to be cared for?
00:34:50No.
00:34:51Don't fall for it, Nora.
00:34:53He's just your contract husband.
00:34:55Winning this bet
00:34:56is going to be a piece of cake.
00:34:58Fuck.
00:34:59The janitor is way too hot
00:35:00for a homely bitch like Nora.
00:35:06What the fuck?
00:35:07You literally just used me as a human shield.
00:35:09Get real, babe.
00:35:11This brain is worth billions to Invitica.
00:35:13Not some cheap janitor
00:35:14who's life costs five bucks.
00:35:16You're right.
00:35:17Brains beat bucks.
00:35:19This shit scrubber might have a nice body,
00:35:22but his bank account is malnourished.
00:35:29Horses?
00:35:30Gavin's money really does grow on trees.
00:35:33My husband is the future of Silicon Valley.
00:35:37He might even surpass Mr. S as the richest man alive.
00:35:40Surpass me?
00:35:42Gavin's lucky he's even breathing the same air as me.
00:35:45Mr. S?
00:35:46That's an ambitious goal.
00:35:47Oh, look.
00:35:48The janitor has opinions now.
00:35:50Either way,
00:35:51you're nothing but a sewer rat next to a guy like me.
00:35:53It's a shame you'll never get behind the wheel of this thing.
00:35:56You'll see how different we really are.
00:35:57A Porsche doesn't make you a man.
00:36:00It just makes you a coward in a faster car.
00:36:03Oh, how poetic.
00:36:04Spoken like a true loser's wife.
00:36:07Still acting tough?
00:36:09Don't tell me.
00:36:10You two are actually planning to walk home.
00:36:15Bring out my car.
00:36:19This is where we go.
00:36:36What the hell is that thing?
00:36:38A garbage truck for a professional garbage sweeper.
00:36:42How perfect.
00:36:45Get out of here.
00:36:50Come on.
00:36:54Come on.
00:36:59I'm sorry about this.
00:37:00Hey, don't apologize.
00:37:02This is super cool.
00:37:04I've never been in a car like this before.
00:37:31Lucas, I asked for a small house, not a coffin.
00:37:35It's a nice place for a janitor.
00:37:38Make yourself at home.
00:37:39There's only one bedroom, so you'll sleep there and I'll take the couch.
00:37:44I feel bad making you sleep here every night.
00:37:47I couldn't do that.
00:37:49So you'd rather we share the bed?
00:37:51No, I didn't mean that.
00:37:53It's just, I...
00:37:54Whatever makes you feel good.
00:37:57I don't know.
00:37:58I'm just going to get some clothes out.
00:38:03Peach-flavored lube?
00:38:11You sure did come prepared for our first night together, didn't you?
00:38:15Just give it back.
00:38:17No, give it back.
00:38:19Hey, come on.
00:38:21Give it back.
00:38:24Oh, wow.
00:38:25It's Jess.
00:38:27It feels amazing.
00:38:29You really can't wait, can you?
00:38:31We're married now.
00:38:33We'll use it sooner or later, you know?
00:38:38Sooner or later.
00:38:50I'd say the sooner the better.
00:38:54I need some water.
00:38:56Yeah.
00:39:00How cute.
00:39:02I still win this round, though.
00:39:04It's only a matter of time before you fall for me.
00:39:13Damn.
00:39:14He goes shirtless just to fix a pipe?
00:39:17Well, I'm not complaining.
00:39:20Look at this muscle.
00:39:22He's too fine.
00:39:38Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:39:40I didn't know you were there.
00:39:42Oh, my God.
00:39:44She's perfect.
00:39:46He's hot.
00:39:48If you think ogling after me after torpedoing you with water is going to make me fall in love
00:39:52with you, you're sorely mistaken.
00:40:00Oh, my.
00:40:03Those arms are wider than my waist.
00:40:06Are janitors supposed to be built like that?
00:40:09Now hold still.
00:40:12Maybe.
00:40:14Oh, you let me enjoy my perks.
00:40:16Sorry for getting you high.
00:40:18I'm usually a lot better at fixing things.
00:40:20No, no, no, never.
00:40:21Fix your apps.
00:40:22They're perfect.
00:40:25The pipe.
00:40:26I meant the pipe.
00:40:28Is the pipe fixed?
00:40:30Um, I'm just going to go back to my room.
00:40:33It's freezing here and I'm soaking wet, so.
00:40:36Freezing?
00:40:38Well, let me warm you up.
00:40:43What is he trying to do to me?
00:40:48All right.
00:40:48If you want to build heat in your core, you have to engage it.
00:40:51Sure.
00:40:53Yoga can keep me warm.
00:40:55Can you not stand so close?
00:40:57How else am I supposed to correct your form?
00:41:00My form?
00:41:01What, are you a yogi now?
00:41:02I thought you were a janitor.
00:41:04I guess I'm full surprised at it.
00:41:07I'm going to spread your stance a bit.
00:41:11Ready?
00:41:15This is punishment.
00:41:17I touched his abs for three seconds, and now his hands are grabbing my butt.
00:41:22Good.
00:41:22Now, uh, downward dog.
00:41:24Oh.
00:41:25Deeper.
00:41:28I can't.
00:41:30Hold it.
00:41:31Don't come up.
00:41:32Please.
00:41:33It hurts.
00:41:35Damn it, Nora.
00:41:37Don't make that noise.
00:41:38Wow, you're a lot tighter than I thought.
00:41:40Oh, my God.
00:41:49Heart rate 140.
00:41:51Respiratory rate 28%.
00:41:56Skin conductivity 40%.
00:41:59All right, your body feels a whole lot like I'm winning this bet.
00:42:02No.
00:42:03No, it's the workout.
00:42:05I'm going to win the bet.
00:42:07Just you.
00:42:08Wait.
00:42:11Why are your hands shaking?
00:42:13You mean to tell me that your heart isn't beating like a snare drum because of me?
00:42:19Fine.
00:42:19It is because of you.
00:42:24What?
00:42:29What about your little friend?
00:42:32Why is your little friend so hard?
00:42:37She's a menace.
00:42:39I was trying to break her, but I'm the one losing control.
00:42:47Let him answer that for himself.
00:42:51Let him answer that for himself.
00:42:53Whoa.
00:42:55Hello there, buddy.
00:42:57Who's the one losing control now?
00:43:04You want me more than I want you.
00:43:06Did the perfect algorithm predict that?
00:43:09I'm going to go shower.
00:43:12Alone.
00:43:14No peekings.
00:43:18I'm a loser, huh?
00:43:21We'll see about that.
00:43:26Hey, so my dad's birthday party is next week, and they're hosting a dinner.
00:43:32You want your husband to attend?
00:43:35That's sweet.
00:43:36Actually, it's just...
00:43:38It's going to be this whole gross wealth measuring contest.
00:43:41And Bianca and the others are going to target you.
00:43:42I just know it.
00:43:43They're going to make fun of your clothes, your gifts, your everything.
00:43:48So I would embarrass you.
00:43:50What?
00:43:50No.
00:43:51No, it's just...
00:43:54I don't want to make you go through that.
00:43:57Those people, they only see dollar signs.
00:44:02She's trying to protect me.
00:44:04It's funny.
00:44:04I don't remember seeing send Nora into the lion's den in our marriage contract.
00:44:08Why are you being so nice to me?
00:44:10You don't even know me.
00:44:12Because you're better than all of them.
00:44:16You deserve to be treated like a queen.
00:44:19No one has ever stood in my corner like this.
00:44:22Whatever you'd say.
00:44:26Don't waste whatever little money you have on expensive gifts.
00:44:30They won't appreciate it anyways.
00:44:39Prepare the best gift you could find.
00:44:40One the Hawthorne family can't refuse.
00:44:43And something Gavin Winters couldn't get his hands on in a million years.
00:44:49This was a mistake.
00:44:50We shouldn't have come.
00:44:51It's okay, babe.
00:44:52We got this.
00:45:06You ready?
00:45:10You actually brought your janitor husband to dad's birthday party?
00:45:14I knew you were shameless, Nora.
00:45:16But God, this is a new low for you.
00:45:18I'm shameless.
00:45:21At least my husband's face wasn't plastered across the stadium screen for the whole world to see.
00:45:25After just one week of marriage.
00:45:27I don't know what you're talking about.
00:45:28Are you fucking cheating on me on screen?
00:45:34Bianca!
00:45:37Surprise.
00:45:39Hey.
00:45:46You brought the janitor?
00:45:48Well, Daddy, since he's already here, I thought he could make himself useful and give the toilets a good scrubbing.
00:45:54Maybe shine Gavin's shoes while he's at it?
00:45:57Hey, lock it off.
00:46:02Don't listen to them.
00:46:06It's okay.
00:46:08Mr. Hawthorne, I heard how much of a wine connoisseur you are.
00:46:12So, I decided to bring a few pieces from my wine collection just for you.
00:46:21Good man.
00:46:23Excellent.
00:46:24Bianca sure did pick the right man to marry.
00:46:26All right.
00:46:28Enough standing around.
00:46:29Let's all go inside.
00:46:30Come on, sweetheart.
00:46:34Let's just go.
00:46:35I am not putting up with this.
00:46:37Hey, come on.
00:46:38I didn't bring this gift for nothing.
00:46:39Let's just see how it goes.
00:46:41I don't know this.
00:46:43Elvis.
00:46:53Are you crazy?
00:46:55We're in cold water on someone in the dead of winter.
00:46:58Just for disinfection purposes.
00:47:00With all the germs janitors pick up, you have no idea how many diseases he's carrying.
00:47:05Open a window, would you?
00:47:07Just gave this guy a bath and he still smells like shit.
00:47:12Elvis may be a janitor, but he's the cleanest one here.
00:47:18Gavin's been passed around like a blunt.
00:47:20Who knows how many STDs he has?
00:47:22If anyone needs disinfecting, it's him.
00:47:26Elvis is my husband.
00:47:28And you will respect him.
00:47:30You little...
00:47:31Mom!
00:47:32Do something!
00:47:34How dare you?
00:47:36Gavin's the COO of Invitica.
00:47:38He keeps that whole company running and makes millions doing it.
00:47:42That's the kind of person that deserves respect.
00:47:48You are unbelievable, Nora.
00:47:51It's your father's birthday and you show up here empty-handed?
00:47:55With some guy that looks like he just crawled out of a dumpster?
00:47:59You should have stayed home.
00:48:00Yeah.
00:48:01How's your dumpster diver going to scrounge up the cash for a gift for dad?
00:48:06My Gavin brought bottles of wine worth hundreds of thousands.
00:48:10And those are just the cheap ones.
00:48:15In 1945, Romani Conti.
00:48:18In 1961, Chateau Chauvin Blanc.
00:48:21And in 1990, Henri Jaya reached for a grand crew.
00:48:26Impressive.
00:48:27These must be your most prized collections.
00:48:29Well, well, well.
00:48:31Looks like our resident janitor knows about more than just scrubbing toilets.
00:48:36You're right, though.
00:48:37Those are top-of-the-line bottles.
00:48:44Especially this one, Mr. Hawthorne.
00:48:47They don't call Henri Jaya the billionaire's wine for nothing.
00:48:51Why don't we go and open this bandboy up, shall we?
00:48:55Splendid.
00:49:00You're what every son-in-law should be, Gavin.
00:49:05Man, you went all out.
00:49:07Put the bottle I brought.
00:49:09What's yours to shame?
00:49:13Put the bottle I brought.
00:49:15What's yours to shame?
00:49:17Huh, you've got a lot of nerve.
00:49:19Thinking you can outdo Gavin?
00:49:21Let's see what kind of garbage you pull out of the trash heap.
00:49:30What's this?
00:49:32Homemade moonshine?
00:49:34There's no label.
00:49:36Who knows if it's even safe?
00:49:37Hell, it could be full of deadly toxins.
00:49:40Legit looks like you snatched it off some hobo.
00:49:42What are you trying to do?
00:49:44Poison our dad?
00:49:45No.
00:49:45No, please.
00:49:46Shut up!
00:49:47This is the most appalling gift I've ever received in my life.
00:49:51Now, take your street rat boyfriend and leave!
00:49:58Did it not occur to you that my bottle is unlabeled because it's highly exclusive?
00:50:14Luckily, I have this AI-powered scanner.
00:50:18It's one of Invitica's newest inventions.
00:50:21Scan any product and it tells you its exact value.
00:50:24Doesn't even need a barcode.
00:50:26This will prove that this janitor is bluffing.
00:50:29Nora, how about this?
00:50:31If your wine's cheaper than ours, you and your janitor boy toy have to scrub all six bathrooms in the
00:50:38house.
00:50:40Why are you so obsessed with price?
00:50:43It's the thought that counts.
00:50:50Seriously, who gives a fuck about thought?
00:50:53What? Afraid you're going to lose?
00:50:56We'll take your bet.
00:50:58But if our wine is the more expensive one, what do we get in return?
00:51:02If your bottle is more expensive than mine, then I, Gavin Winters, will apologize to you.
00:51:10They're from the bottom of my heart.
00:51:13Ugh, boring.
00:51:14New rules.
00:51:15If we lose, I'll admit to everyone in the room that Nora's trash husband is better than mine.
00:51:21And I'll show him the utmost respect every time I see him.
00:51:24But if you lose, you have to get down and lick the wine off my shoes.
00:51:30Get down and lick the wine off my shoes.
00:51:31Let's get down and lick the wine off my shoes.
00:51:41Market price, $200,000.
00:51:57Market price, $500,000.
00:52:01That's a million? Oh, my goodness.
00:52:04Oh, yes.
00:52:13Market price, one million.
00:52:19200,000? 500,000? A million?
00:52:22What are those bottles made of? Gold?
00:52:25Richard, you just don't get it.
00:52:27With fine wine, it's the age and the terroir that separate the gems from the phonies.
00:52:35Incredible. You could buy a whole house with this kind of money.
00:52:38Bianca's new husband is quite impressive.
00:52:42Just a token of my appreciation, Mr. Hawthorne.
00:52:47These bottles are reserved for Invitica's most distinguished VIP clients.
00:52:52Splendid.
00:52:53They're expensive. But what really matters is status and exclusivity.
00:52:59Couldn't agree more. And if anyone embodies status and exclusivity, it's us Hawthorne's.
00:53:08And as for you, you bastard, I demand an apology.
00:53:17Wait, Daddy. Let's have a little fun first.
00:53:20You really did snatch this off some bum, didn't you?
00:53:24Insult Elvis again, and you'll regret it.
00:53:31Shut it. Biggest mistake of my life was having a worthless daughter like you.
00:53:39Now, get out of my sight.
00:53:42Just go else. They don't deserve your gift.
00:53:46Wait a second, sore losers.
00:53:48We had a bet.
00:53:50You're not walking out of here until you lick the wine off my shoes.
00:53:55And while you're at it, why don't you strip that dress down and clean my shoes as well?
00:54:04Fine.
00:54:05I'll do it, but you have to stop insulting Elvis.
00:54:17Wait, Nora. Nora, we don't even know who the winner is yet.
00:54:22Elvis, you don't have to. It's fine.
00:54:28Price calculator.
00:54:31One million?
00:54:32Price calculator.
00:54:33How is it still going up?
00:54:37Impossible.
00:54:38That's impossible.
00:55:01Welcome to the Find Your FiancƩ AI matchmaking event.
00:55:05Our super algorithm will match the Hawthorne sisters with their destined soulmates.
00:55:12Boss, everything's ready to go.
00:55:15Are you sure you want to pose as a janitor at your own AI matchmaking event?
00:55:19It doesn't matter.
00:55:20Even as a janitor, my algorithm will still pick the right person for me.
00:55:24The algorithm's never wrong.
00:55:26Soon, the world will see our daughters match with the elite.
00:55:28It's perfect branding for the Hawthorne family.
00:55:31Excellent.
00:55:32Bianca's match will take us to the top.
00:55:34As for Nora, if her match isn't powerful enough, she's off to that old man's bed the moment this event
00:55:41wraps.
00:55:42If my match today is powerful enough, maybe I can escape the arranged marriage.
00:55:48Welcome.
00:55:49This is my last chance.
00:55:53Could it be me?
00:55:53Man, if I could marry one of them, either one would be worth it.
00:56:00Congratulations, Nora.
00:56:02Invitica AI has matched you with Gavin Winters, Invitica's chief operating officer.
00:56:09Okay, this might work.
00:56:11And Bianca is matched with Elvis Blythe, a janitor.
00:56:15How dare the AI match Nora with a billionaire and I'm stuck with a piss-poor janitor?
00:56:21Hey, babe.
00:56:23Gavin's the name.
00:56:25Money's the game.
00:56:26Ten billion a year, to be exact.
00:56:28Bet you're glad you landed on a stud like me.
00:56:31Sir, Gavin is Invitica's COO.
00:56:33He could have seen you at last year at Global Exec Summit.
00:56:36Aren't you afraid he'll recognize you?
00:56:38Invitica's just one of many companies I have under Mr. S Holdings.
00:56:41Their COO would never find out who I really am.
00:56:46The algorithm got it all wrong.
00:56:49You deserve to be with someone in your league, not this discount Cinderella.
00:56:54Who doesn't love an upgrade, right?
00:57:04This outcome is unexpected.
00:57:06Interesting.
00:57:08Don't worry, poor little Cinderella.
00:57:10The algorithm can't predict everything.
00:57:13Ready for dad to marry you off to some old geezer?
00:57:16Is this really the end?
00:57:21That janitor?
00:57:22He has Bianca's match.
00:57:24Fine.
00:57:25I'll take him.
00:57:26My fate is mine to decide.
00:57:28I'm getting married today.
00:57:30What's she gonna do?
00:57:32What's she gonna do?
00:57:34What's she gonna do?
00:57:37Just play along.
00:57:39What?
00:57:54What a surprise.
00:57:57Beautiful.
00:57:58And such a fighter.
00:58:00Interesting.
00:58:00Nora!
00:58:01The hell are you doing?
00:58:02Get that trash trucker away from my daughter now!
00:58:05What a joke!
00:58:07A poor janitor actually married into the Hawthorne family?
00:58:12Do you think maybe you'd consider marrying me?
00:58:17My AI didn't account for her, which makes her the perfect test subject.
00:58:22Look at me, princess.
00:58:23I'm just a janitor.
00:58:24Your dress costs more than my life savings.
00:58:27Are you sure you want to trade a millionaire for a shoebox apartment?
00:58:32That perfect algorithm is a scam that knows nothing about true love.
00:58:39True love can be modeled.
00:58:41It just requires a more complex set of code.
00:58:44Okay, Mr. Janitor.
00:58:47I'm not some line of code, though.
00:58:49Is she doubting my data?
00:58:51I love turning a doubter into a believer.
00:58:55All right, let's make a bet.
00:58:58A one-year marriage contract.
00:58:59Yes, I've fallen in love with you.
00:59:01You win.
00:59:02And you'll get half.
00:59:04Everything I own.
00:59:08Of what?
00:59:10A mop and a bucket?
00:59:12Where does a janitor like you get so much confidence from?
00:59:16Tell you what.
00:59:17If I fall for you, you get half in money.
00:59:20Deal.
00:59:22I like those odds.
00:59:26I'll take this janitor's pride and his bet.
00:59:29Anything's better than my dad's deals.
00:59:39We're getting married.
00:59:42Victor!
00:59:47Let the games begin, Miss Blythe.
00:59:56Boss, that makeup took you five hours.
00:59:59You really just gonna wash it off?
01:00:02I need to start looking my best.
01:00:03Once I plant the seed of attraction in her heart,
01:00:06it'll grow into love.
01:00:08I'm winning this bet.
01:00:11Marrying the janitor.
01:00:13You have made us the Lapping Stock Valley.
01:00:16Nora, you talk about that loser.
01:00:18The marriage is off.
01:00:20It's too bad.
01:00:21We already signed the papers.
01:00:23I guess I'm officially a trash trucker's wife.
01:00:26Fine.
01:00:27But when it all falls apart,
01:00:29don't come crawling back to us,
01:00:31begging for forgiveness.
01:00:33You.
01:00:33Throw out her luggage.
01:00:36Please.
01:00:37No, wait.
01:00:38Stop.
01:00:42Stop.
01:00:53Now that you're a janitor's wife,
01:00:55you should get used to sleeping on the streets.
01:00:57Sure you can handle being homeless, sis?
01:01:00Stay away from her, Bianca.
01:01:03Poverty stinks.
01:01:04And it's contagious.
01:01:06Oh, my God.
01:01:08Has anyone seen my sister's broke janitor husband?
01:01:11I know.
01:01:12He's off scrubbing toilets somewhere.
01:01:19Where's your beloved janitor?
01:01:21Isn't backing out now, is he?
01:01:23Where are you, Elvis?
01:01:25Watch out.
01:01:48Is this the man I just married?
01:01:52Wait.
01:01:53Those eyes.
01:01:57Those muscles.
01:02:00Is this the man I just married?
01:02:03Oh, he's, he's handsome.
01:02:09Hey.
01:02:11Are you okay?
01:02:12Why did you jump in the way?
01:02:14I have to protect my new bride, don't I?
01:02:16Is this what it's like to be cared for?
01:02:19No.
01:02:20Don't fall for it, Nora.
01:02:21He's just your contract husband.
01:02:23Winning this bet is going to be a piece of cake.
01:02:27Fuck.
01:02:27The janitor is way too hot for a homely bitch like Nora.
01:02:34What the fuck?
01:02:35You literally just used me as a human shield.
01:02:37Get real, babe.
01:02:39This brain is worth billions to Invitica.
01:02:41Not some cheap janitor whose life costs five bucks.
01:02:45You're right.
01:02:46Brains beat looks.
01:02:47This shit scrubber might have a nice body,
01:02:50but his bank account is malnourished.
01:02:57Horses?
01:02:58Gavin's money really does grow on trees.
01:03:01My husband is the future of Silicon Valley.
01:03:05He might even surpass Mr. S as the richest man alive.
01:03:08Surpass me?
01:03:10Gavin's lucky he's even breathing the same air as me.
01:03:13Mr. S?
01:03:14That's an ambitious goal.
01:03:15Oh, look, the janitor has opinions now.
01:03:18Either way, you're nothing but a sewer rat next to a guy like me.
01:03:21It's a shame you'll never get behind the wheel of this thing.
01:03:24You'll see how different we really are.
01:03:26A Porsche doesn't make you a man.
01:03:28It just makes you a coward in a faster car.
01:03:31Oh, how poetic.
01:03:32Spoken like a true loser's wife.
01:03:35Still acting tough?
01:03:37Don't tell me.
01:03:38You two are actually planning to walk home.
01:03:43Bring out my car.
01:04:04What the hell is that thing?
01:04:07A garbage truck for a professional garbage sweeper.
01:04:10How perfect.
01:04:13Get out of here.
01:04:18Come on.
01:04:27I'm sorry about this.
01:04:29Hey, don't apologize.
01:04:30This is super cool.
01:04:32I've never been in a car like this before.
01:04:43I've never been in a car like this before.
01:04:59Lucas, I asked for a small house, not a coffin.
01:05:03It's a nice place for a janitor.
01:05:06Make yourself at home.
01:05:07There's only one bedroom, so you'll sleep there, and I'll take the couch.
01:05:12I feel bad making you sleep here every night.
01:05:15I couldn't do that.
01:05:17So you'd rather we share the bed?
01:05:18Well, no.
01:05:20I didn't mean that.
01:05:21It's just, I...
01:05:24Whatever makes you feel good.
01:05:25I don't know.
01:05:26I'm just gonna get some clothes out.
01:05:31Peach-flavored lube?
01:05:39You sure did come prepared for our first night together, didn't you?
01:05:43Just give it back.
01:05:46No.
01:05:46Give it back.
01:05:47Hey, come on.
01:05:49Give it back.
01:05:52Oh, my...
01:05:53It was chess.
01:05:55It was amazing.
01:05:57You really can't wait, can you?
01:06:00We're married now.
01:06:01We'll use it sooner or later, you know?
01:06:06Sooner or later.
01:06:18I'd say the sooner the better.
01:06:22I need some water.
01:06:24Yeah.
01:06:28How cute.
01:06:30I still win this round, though.
01:06:32It's only a matter of time before you fall for me.
01:06:41Damn it.
01:06:42He goes shirtless just to fix a pipe?
01:06:45Well, I'm not complaining.
01:06:48Look at this muscle.
01:06:50He's too fine.
01:06:55Oh, help it!
01:07:04Oh, gosh.
01:07:07No, I'm so sorry.
01:07:09I didn't know you were there.
01:07:10Oh, my gosh.
01:07:12She's perfect.
01:07:16If you think ogling after me after torpedoing me with water is going to make me fall in love with
01:07:20you,
01:07:20you're sorely mistaken.
01:07:25Look to some.
01:07:26She's good.
01:07:28Oh, my.
01:07:30Oh, my.
01:07:31Those arms are wider than my waist.
01:07:34Are janitors supposed to be built like that?
01:07:37Now hold still.
01:07:40And maybe...
01:07:42Oh, you'll let me enjoy my perks.
01:07:44Sorry for getting you high.
01:07:46I'm usually a lot better at fixing things.
01:07:48No, no, no, never.
01:07:50Fix your apps.
01:07:50They're perfect.
01:07:53The pipe.
01:07:55I meant the pipe.
01:07:56Is the pipe fixed?
01:07:59Um, I'm just going to go back to my room.
01:08:01It's freezing here and I'm soaking wet, so...
01:08:04Freezing?
01:08:06Well, let me warm you up.
01:08:11What is he trying to do to me?
01:08:16All right, if you want to build heat in your core, you have to engage it.
01:08:19Sure.
01:08:20Okay.
01:08:21Yoga can keep me warm.
01:08:22Can you...
01:08:24Can you not stand so close?
01:08:26How else am I supposed to correct your form?
01:08:28My form?
01:08:29What, are you a yogi now?
01:08:30I thought you were a janitor.
01:08:32I guess I'm full surprised at it.
01:08:35I'm going to spread your stance a bit.
01:08:39Ready?
01:08:40Mm.
01:08:43Ugh, this is punishment.
01:08:45I touched his apps for three seconds.
01:08:48And now his hands are grabbing my butt.
01:08:50Good, now, uh, downward dog.
01:08:52Oh!
01:08:53Deeper.
01:08:56I can't.
01:08:58Hold it.
01:08:59Don't come up.
01:09:00Please.
01:09:01It hurts.
01:09:04Dammit, Nora.
01:09:05Don't make that noise.
01:09:06Wow, you're a lot tighter than I thought.
01:09:08What?
01:09:09Oh!
01:09:17Heart rate, 140.
01:09:19Respiratory rate, 28%.
01:09:24Skin conductivity, 40%.
01:09:28Now, your body feels a whole lot like I'm winning this bet.
01:09:31No.
01:09:31No, it's the workout.
01:09:33I'm going to win the bet.
01:09:35Just you.
01:09:36Wait.
01:09:40Why are your hands shaking?
01:09:41And you mean to tell me that your heart isn't beating like a snare drum because of me?
01:09:47Fine.
01:09:47It is because of you.
01:09:52What?
01:09:58What about your little friend?
01:10:00Why is your little friend so hard?
01:10:06She's a menace.
01:10:07I was trying to break her, but I'm the one losing control.
01:10:15Let him enter that for himself.
01:10:19Let him enter that for himself.
01:10:21Oh, hello there, buddy.
01:10:25Who's the one losing control now?
01:10:32You want me more than I want you.
01:10:35Did the perfect algorithm predict that?
01:10:37I'm going to go shower.
01:10:40Alone.
01:10:42No peekings.
01:10:46I'm a loser, huh?
01:10:49We'll see about that.
01:10:54Hey, so my dad's birthday party is next week, and they're hosting a dinner.
01:11:01You want your husband to attend?
01:11:03That's sweet.
01:11:04Actually, it's just...
01:11:06It's going to be this whole gross wealth measuring contest.
01:11:09And Bianca and the others are going to target you.
01:11:10I just know it.
01:11:11They're going to make fun of your clothes, your gifts, your everything.
01:11:16So I would embarrass you.
01:11:18But no, no, it's just...
01:11:22I don't want to make you go through that.
01:11:25Those people, they only see dollar signs.
01:11:30She's trying to protect me.
01:11:32It's funny.
01:11:32I don't remember seeing send Nora into the lion's den in our marriage contract.
01:11:37Why are you being so nice to me?
01:11:38You don't even know me.
01:11:40Because you're better than all of them.
01:11:44You deserve to be treated like a queen.
01:11:47No one has ever stood in my corner like this.
01:11:50Whatever you'd say.
01:11:54Don't waste whatever little money you have on expensive gifts.
01:11:58They won't appreciate it anyways.
01:12:07Prepare the best gift you could find.
01:12:09One the Hawthorne family can't refuse.
01:12:11And something Gavin Winters couldn't get his hands on in a million years.
01:12:17This was a mistake.
01:12:19We shouldn't have code.
01:12:20It's okay, babe.
01:12:20We got this.
01:12:34You ready?
01:12:38You actually brought your janitor husband to dad's birthday party?
01:12:42I knew you were shameless, Nora.
01:12:44But God, this is a new low for you.
01:12:46I'm shameless.
01:12:49At least my husband's face wasn't plastered across the stadium screen for the whole world to see.
01:12:53After just one week of marriage.
01:12:55I don't know what you're talking about.
01:12:57Are you fucking cheating on me?
01:12:59On screen?
01:13:02Bianca!
01:13:06Surprise.
01:13:07Hey.
01:13:14You brought the janitor?
01:13:16Well, Daddy, since he's already here, I thought he could make himself useful and give the toilets a good scrubbing.
01:13:22Maybe shine Gavin's shoes while he's at it?
01:13:25Hey, lock it off.
01:13:29Don't listen to them.
01:13:34It's okay.
01:13:36Mr. Hawthorne, I heard how much of a wine connoisseur you are, so I decided to bring a few pieces
01:13:42from my wine collection just for you.
01:13:50Good man.
01:13:51Excellent.
01:13:52Bianca sure did pick the right man to marry.
01:13:55All right.
01:13:56Enough standing around.
01:13:57Let's all go inside.
01:13:58Come on, sweetheart.
01:14:02Let's just go.
01:14:03I am not putting up with this.
01:14:05Hey, come on.
01:14:06I didn't bring this gift for nothing.
01:14:07Let's just see how it goes.
01:14:09I don't know this.
01:14:11Elvis.
01:14:22Are you crazy?
01:14:23Pouring cold water on someone in the dead of winter.
01:14:26Just for disinfection purposes.
01:14:28With all the germs janitors pick up, you have no idea how many diseases he's carrying.
01:14:33Open a window, would you?
01:14:35Just gave this guy a bath and he still smells like shit.
01:14:40Elvis may be a janitor, but he's the cleanest one here.
01:14:46Gavin's been passed around like a blunt.
01:14:48Who knows how many STDs he has?
01:14:50If anyone needs disinfecting, it's him.
01:14:54Elvis is my husband, and you will respect him.
01:14:58You little...
01:15:00Mom, do something!
01:15:02How dare you?
01:15:04Gavin's the COO of Invitica.
01:15:06He keeps that whole company running and makes millions doing it.
01:15:10That's the kind of person that deserves respect.
01:15:16You are unbelievable, Nora.
01:15:19If your father's birthday and you show up here empty-handed,
01:15:23with some guy that looks like he just crawled out of a dumpster,
01:15:26you should have stayed home.
01:15:29Yeah.
01:15:29How's your dumpster diver going to scrounge up the cash for a gift for dad?
01:15:34My Gavin brought bottles of wine worth hundreds of thousands.
01:15:39And those are just the cheap ones.
01:15:43In 1945, Romani Conti.
01:15:46In 1961, Chateau Chauvin Blanc.
01:15:49And in 1990, Henri Jaillet reached for a grand crew.
01:15:55Impressive.
01:15:56These must be your most prized collections.
01:15:58Well, well, well.
01:15:59Looks like our resident janitor knows about more than just scrubbing toilets.
01:16:04You're right, though.
01:16:05Those are top-of-the-line bottles.
01:16:12Especially this one, Mr. Hawthorne.
01:16:14They don't call Henry Jaillet or the billionaire's wine for nothing.
01:16:19Why don't we go and open this bad boy up, shall we?
01:16:23Splendid.
01:16:29You're what every son-in-law should be, Gavin.
01:16:33Man, you went all out.
01:16:36Put the bottle I brought, what's yours to shame?
01:16:41Put the bottle I brought, what's yours to shame?
01:16:46You've got a lot of nerve.
01:16:48Thinking you can outdo Gavin?
01:16:50Let's see what kind of garbage you pull out of the trash heap.
01:16:58What's this?
01:17:00Homemade moonshine?
01:17:02There's no label.
01:17:04Who knows if it's even safe?
01:17:06Hell, it could be full of deadly toxins.
01:17:08Legit looks like you snatched it off some hobo.
01:17:11What are you trying to do?
01:17:12Poison our dad?
01:17:13No, no, please.
01:17:14Shut up!
01:17:15This is the most appalling gift I've ever received in my life.
01:17:20Now, take your street rat boyfriend and leave!
01:17:26Did it not occur to you that my bottle is unlabeled?
01:17:29Because it's highly exclusive.
01:17:43Luckily, I have this AI-powered scanner.
01:17:46It's one of NVIDICA's newest inventions.
01:17:49Scan any product and it tells you its exact value.
01:17:53Doesn't even need a barcode.
01:17:54This will prove that this janitor is bluffing.
01:17:57Nora, how about this?
01:18:00If your wine's cheaper than ours, you and your janitor boy toy have to scrub all six bathrooms in the
01:18:06house.
01:18:08Why are you so obsessed with price?
01:18:11It's the thought that counts.
01:18:18Seriously, who gives a fuck about thought?
01:18:21What?
01:18:22Afraid you're gonna lose?
01:18:24We'll take your bet.
01:18:26But if our wine is the more expensive one, what do we get in return?
01:18:31If your bottle is more expensive than mine, then I, Gavin Winters, will apologize to you from the bottom of
01:18:40my heart.
01:18:41Ugh, boring.
01:18:42New rules.
01:18:44If we lose, I'll admit to everyone in the room that Nora's trash husband is better than mine.
01:18:49And I'll show him the utmost respect every time I see him.
01:18:52But if you lose, you have to get down and lick the wine off my shoes.
01:19:09Market price, $200,000.
01:19:25Market price, $500,000.
01:19:48What are those bottles made of, gold?
01:19:53Richard, you just don't get it.
01:19:55With fine wine, it's the age and the terroir that separate the gems from the phonies.
01:20:03Incredible.
01:20:04You could buy a whole house with this kind of money.
01:20:07Bianca's new husband is quite impressive.
01:20:10Just a token of my appreciation, Mr. Hawthorne.
01:20:14These bottles are reserved for Invitica's most distinguished VIP clients.
01:20:20Splendid.
01:20:22They're expensive.
01:20:23But what really matters is status and exclusivity.
01:20:27Couldn't agree more.
01:20:29And if anyone embodies status and exclusivity, it's us Hawthorns.
01:20:36And as for you, you bastard, I demand an apology.
01:20:45Wait, Daddy.
01:20:46Let's have a little fun first.
01:20:48You really did snatch this off some bum, didn't you?
01:20:53Insult Ellis again, and you'll regret it.
01:20:59Shut it.
01:21:00Biggest mistake of my life was having a worthless daughter like you.
01:21:07Now, get out of my sight.
01:21:10Let's just go else.
01:21:12They don't deserve your gift.
01:21:14Wait a second, sore losers.
01:21:16We had a bet.
01:21:18You're not walking out of here until you lick the wine off my shoes.
01:21:24And while you're at it, why don't you strip that dress down and clean my shoes as well?
01:21:29Fun.
01:21:33I'll do it, but you have to stop insulting Elvis.
01:21:45Wait, Nora.
01:21:46Nora, we don't even know who the winner is yet.
01:21:49Elvis, you don't have to.
01:21:51It's fine.
01:21:56Price calculating.
01:21:59One million?
01:22:01Price calculating.
01:22:01How is it still going up?
01:22:05Impossible.
01:22:07That's impossible.
01:22:09That's impossible.
01:22:20That's impossible.
01:22:21I'll do it, but...
01:22:23I'll do it, but...
01:22:23You
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