00:00I found a bottle of gel lube in my husband Ethan's briefcase.
00:03I didn't cry, I didn't yell, I just swapped it out for superglue.
00:07Lily, I'm coming.
00:09Oh my god, it hurts.
00:11At 2am, our new night nanny, Lily, was rushed to the ER.
00:15Ethan was in our bathroom, taking one of his long, boiling hot showers.
00:18His briefcase was on the bench at the foot of the bed.
00:20His phone kept buzzing, dragging me out of my shallow sleep.
00:25I reached over and checked the screen.
00:26An 800 number, probably spam.
00:28I declined the call and slid the phone back into his bag.
00:31That's when my hand hit something small and slick.
00:33A tiny pink bottle.
00:34The bottle has the logo of a sex toy brand, which is a female lubricant.
00:37It looked cheap and wrong in Ethan's briefcase.
00:39My whole body went cold, I snapped a picture and ran it through image search.
00:42The result popped right up.
00:43Love honey, intense orgasmic gel lube.
00:45And it was clearly already used.
00:47I just stared at my phone.
00:48I'd had our baby Noah a few weeks ago.
00:50I was still recovering.
00:51There was no reason on earth for Ethan to have that.
00:53My mind went straight to the worst possibility.
00:56He was cheating.
00:57The thought hit me like a punch.
00:58The shower kept running.
00:59Steam drifted under the door.
01:01The room was the same.
01:02I wasn't.
01:03I unlocked his phone with shaking hands.
01:05His pinned text thread was with honey.
01:06Me.
01:06Nothing weird.
01:07Just the usual stuff.
01:08I searched the rest anyway.
01:09Instagram.
01:10TikTok.
01:10His hotel app.
01:11Even the dumb little games.
01:12Nothing.
01:13Maybe it was some kind of prank?
01:15I clung to that thought and tried to stay calm.
01:16Then my thumb hit a folder labeled work.
01:18Inside was Bumble.
01:19That made no sense.
01:20Ethan was obsessive about keeping his phone organized.
01:22Everything had its place.
01:24So why was there a dating app hidden in his work folder?
01:26I tapped on that app.
01:27With one look at the messages, the color drained from my face.
01:33March 5th.
01:34That day, I was rushed to the hospital with a threatened miscarriage.
01:38He stayed by my bedside and took care of me all night.
01:41The messages on his phone cut into me one by one, like blades.
01:44I waited three fucking months for this and she still screwed it up.
01:47She's useless.
01:47Book a hotel by the hospital tonight.
01:49I'm done waiting.
01:50Wear the nurse outfit.
01:50That shit gets me hard.
01:54May 28th.
01:55Our anniversary.
01:56That day, we took maternity photos.
01:57In front of everyone, he promised he'd stay by my side for every anniversary to come.
02:01In the pictures, his smile was soft and tender.
02:03Then I saw his texts.
02:05When she cries, all her fat jiggles.
02:07Makes me sick.
02:08I'm going on a business trip tomorrow.
02:09Come stay with me a few days.
02:10Miss you so bad.
02:10Wanna fuck you hard in bed.
02:13September 27th.
02:13That day, I was in the delivery room, hooked up to Pitocin.
02:16He cried even harder than I did, saying he never wanted me to suffer like this again.
02:20But those texts tore his words to pieces.
02:22Watching her give birth is such a turnoff.
02:24Thank God you're still tight.
02:25Missing you again.
02:25Send me a vid, yeah?
02:26Come to the hospital bathroom right now.
02:28I want to do it with you.
02:29October 9th.
02:30That day was our wedding anniversary and we took family photos.
02:32He smiled and said we were a family now.
02:34To everyone else, we looked perfect.
02:35But in his messages, I was a joke.
02:37The way you moaned in front of her today was so fucking dirty.
02:39She has no clue.
02:40She was standing there holding the baby, smiling at me like an idiot.
02:43And the latest message was still sitting there.
02:44Come over tonight.
02:45Let's do something wild.
02:49I felt so sick, I almost passed out.
02:51I covered my mouth.
02:53Scared, I'd throw up right there.
02:54How could those disgusting messages have come from Ethan?
02:57Ethan, of all people.
02:58It made no sense.
02:59It still doesn't.
03:00He had always been so good to me.
03:02He came home on time every day.
03:04He deposited his whole paycheck into our joint account.
03:06When I was pregnant, he did all the chores.
03:07No matter how late it was, he'd rub my swollen legs and massage stretch mark oil into my skin.
03:11Before every prenatal appointment, he'd get so anxious the night before that he couldn't sleep.
03:15When I was in labor, he stood by my side and cried harder than I did.
03:17Most women barely sleep after giving birth.
03:19I actually got to wake up on my own every morning because Ethan handled everything.
03:22He hired a great postpartum doula.
03:24He lined up meals, bought parenting books, and signed us up for newborn classes.
03:28Every night, he got up with Noah so I could sleep a little longer.
03:30Even my best friend said a man like that was one in a million.
03:32Yeah, how could a man like that be cheating?
03:35But I was wrong.
03:36Ethan had been cheating on me since I was pregnant.
03:37I wiped my tears away and took a deep breath.
03:39This was not the time to fall apart.
03:40Crying wouldn't fix anything.
03:42I screenshotted every message.
03:43Then I emptied the lube bottle and filled it with superglue.
03:45I still didn't know who Ethan was sleeping with, but I was about to find out.
03:59Baby, why are you still up?
04:00It's late.
04:08What happened, sweetheart?
04:11Did you have a bad dream?
04:14Hey, hey, don't cry, okay?
04:16You're still recovering.
04:18Too much stress is bad for you right now.
04:20If I hadn't seen those messages with my own eyes, I might have believed he really cared.
04:23I dreamed you cheated on me.
04:26Hey, baby, it was just a dream.
04:28Dreams are just your mind playing tricks, remember?
04:32If anything, I'd die before I ever hurt you.
04:34I'm fat and ugly now.
04:35Do you still love me?
04:38He was so good at acting.
04:40He deserved an Oscar.
04:41You'll always be the most beautiful woman in the world to me.
04:44I spent ten years loving you.
04:45How could I not?
04:47Yeah, he had loved me for ten years.
04:49He had told me more than once that he would die for me.
04:52But I was wrong.
04:53Those messages were with me.
04:54Hey, baby, it was just a dream.
04:57Dreams are just your mind playing tricks, remember?
05:02If you ever cheated on me, would you die?
05:08I'd rather die than ever cheat on you.
05:10Ethan, you said it.
05:11If you break your vows, you die.
05:15That's better.
05:16You're so much prettier when you smile.
05:18Here, babe.
05:18Drink this.
05:19It'll help you sleep.
05:21I think Noah's crying.
05:22Can you go check on him?
05:23So that was it.
05:24He wasn't being sweet.
05:26He was drugging me.
05:27When Ethan came back, his gaze went straight to the empty mug.
05:30His eyes lit up.
05:32Noah's fine.
05:33He's asleep.
05:34Don't worry.
05:35Good.
05:36I'm tired too.
05:37Let's go to sleep.
05:38I kept my eyes shut.
05:39I even let out a tiny snore.
05:41He waited a long time, making sure I was really asleep.
05:43Then he slipped out of bed as quietly as he could, every movement slow and careful.
05:46The second he left, I opened my eyes and checked the time.
05:491 a.m.
05:50So this was really happening.
05:51He was sneaking off to see her.
05:52I grabbed my phone, got out of bed, and followed him.
05:55I was so close to proof, but he didn't go to the front door.
05:56He turned and walked straight into the nursery.
05:58Noah's room.
05:59My heart sank.
06:00What happened?
06:01Did he change the plan because of me?
06:02Then I heard a voice from inside.
06:04That's when I realized Ethan was even more disgusting than I thought.
06:18He was the one who was only as ill?
06:24I didn't know a voice from inside.
06:24Leave it on the floor.
06:29You're wearing a voice.
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