- 6 minutes ago
Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed Season 1 Episode 2
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00...bath tub as water drips out of the faucet.
00:08Trev emerges out of the bathtub and smiles.
00:11Bro, time to make your own food, huh?
00:14Elsewhere.
00:15I'm telling you, passive income.
00:18You get this from a wealth podcast?
00:19Maybe hosted by, you know, an alpha dude with a shaved head.
00:23With a lot of ads for cold punches, because it sounds like it.
00:27No, listen to me, okay?
00:28We buy the old motel next to the college.
00:31We buy it for nothing.
00:33We fix it up.
00:34We de-hepatitis it.
00:35Do you want to be the one to scrub out the blood and semen stains?
00:38No, I'll scrub it down, okay?
00:39We can hose it down with antibiotics for all I can.
00:41I don't know, whatever, okay?
00:43We turn them into apartments.
00:45I know carpentry.
00:46I can do most of the work.
00:47Then what?
00:48When you rent these apartments to broke, unreliable college kids?
00:51No, we rent it to their parents.
00:54Guaranters, there's no risk.
00:55You need permits, babe.
00:57You need insurance.
00:59Okay, Mr. Reality.
01:00Well, it's just, it's a risk.
01:02Look, you want to get rich?
01:05It'd be boring.
01:07Mutual funds, CDs.
01:09Don't buy too many things.
01:10Don't buy too few.
01:11Don't tell your friends how much you make.
01:14Get something expensive for yourself.
01:16Have a good place to hide it.
01:18Oh, I have one.
01:19Maybe, um, cook instead of sushi every day.
01:23You don't care.
01:24You don't care.
01:25You don't care.
01:25You don't care.
01:27Being profoundly cute.
01:30There's not a business plan.
01:31You need discipline.
01:32A middle-aged man drinks.
01:35Well, I already put 30% down.
01:37Trev smiles as he shoves sushi into his mouth.
01:40Didn't know you had money.
01:42Well, I've been saving.
01:44The man regards Trev with a smirk.
01:48You really are cute, you know that?
01:52Kind of tragic how cute you are.
01:56So, is that a yes?
02:00Are you in?
02:03Because I really like to do this together.
02:06Well?
02:07He holds up a piece of sushi with chopsticks.
02:11If it makes you happy.
02:13Trev smiles as he eats it and bangs his hands on the table.
02:16Later, they share a long kiss outside the restaurant.
02:19Are you sure you can't sleep over?
02:21I am very sure.
02:23I'm like you, handsome.
02:24I have a boss and responsibilities.
02:29Call me when you wake up.
02:31The man climbs into a car.
02:33Later, Trev plops onto his bed,
02:36eating candy while texting on his phone.
02:38He burrows under the sheets and snaps a picture.
02:43Look, it's wearing a scarf.
02:47Trev emerges with a grin.
02:50In his bed, the man smiles at his phone.
02:55Smart.
02:56It is cold and flu season.
02:59Trev smiles as he chews.
03:02Hi, babe.
03:05The man sets his phone on the nightstand and turns off the light.
03:11Daytime.
03:12The cat climbs onto Trev's bed.
03:17It's too early for Becky.
03:20Now, wearing only his underwear,
03:23Trev climbs up the stairs with the cat at his side.
03:25A breeze from an open window blows the curtains.
03:28Trev walks into the kitchen.
03:30The cat looks up at him expectantly
03:31as it sits in front of its food bowl.
03:36Trev yawns as he turns up the volume on a portable speaker
03:39and digs the food bowl into a bag of kibble on the kitchen counter.
03:43He sets the bowl down and scratches under the cat's chin.
03:46It looks up at him, ignoring the food.
03:50Seriously?
03:51Billy Eilish feeds her frickin' Abyssinian.
03:57Alright, alright, I'll get you the good stuff.
04:00He reaches into the fridge as the cat watches him.
04:06He kneels next to the cat and it glances up.
04:10A masked figure comes up behind him,
04:13cinching a metal chain around his throat.
04:15Trev's mouth opens in a silent scream
04:16as he hurls himself toward the counter.
04:20He fumbles for a glass blender,
04:22knocking over the bag of kibble
04:23as the figure wrenches him to the ground.
04:26Kibble rains down from the bag
04:28as the figure straddles Trev from underneath him
04:30and drags him away,
04:31thrashing and kicking his legs
04:33as the kibble continues to cascade down.
04:37Trev writhes as he uselessly gasps for air,
04:41his face growing red.
04:42Blood pools around his neck,
04:44down his bare chest,
04:45as the last of the kibble drops.
04:49His eyes go vacant and his body still.
04:51The figure removes the chain from around Trev's neck
04:54and removes his mask,
04:56revealing the middle-aged man from the restaurant.
05:01Now, Trev's body sits in the bathtub
05:04as the man pulls the shower curtain closed.
05:06He picks up Trev's cell phone from the ground
05:08with gloved hands
05:09and sweeps the spilled kibble into a dustpan.
05:12He packs away Trev's laptop.
05:14He points a flashlight under Trev's bed
05:16and then checks behind an outlet cover.
05:18He looks in the fridge
05:19and checks a plastic container,
05:21then checks a take-out box.
05:24He reaches for another plastic container.
05:27He sifts through dark powder
05:28and fishes out a small bag containing a USB stick.
05:31He takes the bag and closes the fridge.
05:35Now, he walks out of the house toward a parked sedan.
05:38He opens the trunk and places a garbage bag
05:40and a laptop case inside it.
05:42Then he opens a duffel bag
05:44and takes out an electric saw.
05:45He attaches a battery
05:47and the saw stays dead.
05:53He places the saw and duffel bag in the back seat.
05:56Across the narrow street,
05:58Paula exits her car and opens the trunk.
06:00The middle-aged man opens the duffel bag.
06:02Paula holds the hockey stick
06:04as she closes the trunk.
06:10The man takes out another battery
06:12as Paula moves toward the house.
06:19The battery clicks in.
06:22Hello?
06:24Paula climbs the house's stairs
06:26as the man moves back to the trunk
06:28and installs a long and sharp saw extension.
06:33He shuts the trunk and walks toward the house
06:35with the saw dangling from his gloved hand.
06:37He passes the mailbox
06:39and steps inside the house.
06:44Upstairs, Paula sits with her back to the counter,
06:47her eyes wide.
06:50Credits appear.
06:51Different colored lights flash over a close-up of an eye
06:54darting and blinking frantically.
06:55Its dark pupil grows closer
06:57as letters come together,
06:58forming a title,
06:59Maximum Pleasure Guaranteed.
07:02Created by David J. Rosen.
07:03Written by David J. Rosen.
07:05Directed by Dan Sackheim.
07:07The cowboy boot light,
07:08the framed photo of the boy,
07:10and the glass of juice sit untouched
07:12as the man climbs up the stairs
07:13with the saw in his hand.
07:16He reaches the second floor
07:17and stops in front of a door.
07:19He bends down and wipes away
07:21drops of blood on the floor.
07:25Paula peers through the gap beneath the door.
07:28She brings a hand over her mouth
07:29to silence herself
07:30as she watches the man's footsteps.
07:32She sees the saw roar to life
07:34as the man enters the bathroom.
07:42She shoots up,
07:43her eyes wide,
07:43and looks at a skylight window
07:45in the tiny laundry room.
07:46She climbs onto a messy shelf
07:48and pushes the window
07:49with the hockey stick.
07:53The window opens,
07:54letting in a stream of light
07:55that washes over her face.
08:01She fishes for her phone
08:02and silences an incoming call
08:04from Carl.
08:08She sees the man's shadow
08:09behind the door.
08:10He pulls out a pocket knife
08:11and snatches the door open.
08:13Paula jumps as he enters
08:15and she pulls herself up
08:16through the window.
08:21The man follows the sound
08:22of her footsteps onto the roof.
08:24She jumps onto a balcony,
08:26climbs over the railing,
08:27and dangles before
08:28dropping on top
08:28of a pile of trash.
08:31She props herself up,
08:33looks at the lid
08:33of a tin can
08:34sticking out of her
08:35now bloodied arm
08:35and heaves.
08:37Inside, the man walks
08:38purposely, knife in hand.
08:39She pulls the lid
08:41out of her arm
08:41and blood oozes out.
08:45The man watches
08:46from the balcony
08:47as Paula runs to her car.
08:48Her hands shake
08:49as she puts the keys
08:50in the ignition
08:51and speeds off.
08:52Leads drift onto the street.
08:54On the side,
08:55a pink paper bag
08:56sits next to the curb.
09:01Paula turns out of the street
09:03and speeds past a car.
09:04She grips the steering wheel
09:06with both hands
09:06as she looks behind her.
09:08She emerges onto the opposite lane
09:09to pass a car
09:10and another one
09:11drives toward her.
09:15She turns the steering wheel,
09:16barely avoiding it
09:17and slowly comes to a stop
09:19by the side of the road.
09:23Her body shakes
09:24and her chest heaves
09:25as she takes off her seatbelt.
09:30She glances down at her wound
09:32and grabs a T-shirt
09:33from the back seat.
09:35Fuck.
09:38She uses her mouth
09:39to tie it around the open wound,
09:41her face contorting in pain.
09:42She reaches for her mounted phone
09:44and types 911.
09:48Incoming call for Carl.
09:50She answers.
09:51Oh, my God.
09:52Is everything okay?
09:53Is Hazel okay?
09:54Yeah, yeah.
09:55Hazel's fine.
09:56Uh, are you okay, Paula?
09:58Uh, yeah.
09:59She wipes her nose.
10:02No, no.
10:04Fuck.
10:05Fuck me in the fucking face.
10:07You're on speakerphone, Paula.
10:08Mom, do you have my new cleats?
10:10Yeah, one of us
10:11is a little bit upset
10:12because it's the first practice
10:13and they're a little bit nervous
10:14about losing their center
10:15mid-position to Chloe E.
10:17Paula sees a black SUV behind her.
10:20You have all of her stuff, Carl.
10:22Except the new cleats.
10:24I'm sure you have to have them.
10:26Maybe you moved them when...
10:27Mom, I need them.
10:28Chloe E went to soccer camp.
10:30Soccer camp, Paula.
10:32It's a goddamn emergency.
10:34Paula sinks into her seat
10:35and the SUV drives past her.
10:37Paula.
10:40Mom.
10:41Yeah, I don't have them, sweetie.
10:45Then I'm not going, Mom.
10:47You're so annoying.
10:48Yeah, there are worse things
10:49happening in the world, Hazel.
10:51Okay, you're off speakerphone
10:53and we do have the old cleats
10:54which will be fine for today.
10:56They suck.
10:56Yeah, they do suck.
10:57We hate them worse than poison
10:58but they'll do, right?
11:00Yeah.
11:00Come on, sweetie, please.
11:03All right, here's the plan.
11:04I've got to go to the airport
11:05after drop-off
11:06but you go to the house
11:07and grab the old ones.
11:08Mowler's going to be there.
11:09Yeah.
11:10Okay, great.
11:11Yeah.
11:11Bye.
11:12Bye, Daddy.
11:13Bye.
11:13Shoot.
11:13Okay.
11:14I love you, Hazel.
11:16What is your fucking deal, Paula?
11:20I'm having a really fucking bad morning, Carl.
11:23Oh, you're having a tough start?
11:25You're having a bad morning?
11:26Yeah, I'm having a tough start.
11:27You want to know what Hazel told me?
11:28Yeah.
11:29She said she talked to your little junkie boyfriend.
11:32Yeah, she said he was really scary
11:33and that he made her cry.
11:36What's the actual fuck, Paula?
11:38What is wrong with you?
11:41All right, look.
11:42Mallory thinks we should just settle custody in court
11:44and my lawyer agrees, so...
11:46I'm trying to be civil with you
11:48but you are making it very hard.
11:50Do you understand that?
11:53Paula, say something.
11:55I have to go.
11:57You have to go.
12:00She hangs up and stares at her phone.
12:02Her finger hovers over the dial button for 911.
12:06She deletes the number
12:07and covers her eyes with her palm.
12:12She puts her phone away
12:13and tries to compose herself.
12:18She drives off.
12:26On Trev's street,
12:27an older woman sits on her front porch
12:29scribbling on a tablet.
12:30Trev's cat comes up to her.
12:35Really little fart.
12:36He lucked you out again.
12:38Come here.
12:40Oh, yeah.
12:42She scratches the cat and frowns.
12:44Blood covers her fingers
12:45as she pulls them away.
12:51She studies her fingers
12:52and slowly looks down.
12:54Bloody paw prints mark the wooden stairs
12:56next to a severed human tongue
12:58splattered with blood.
12:59She gasps.
13:02Now, Paula pulls up
13:04in front of Carl's house.
13:05She opens her glove box
13:07and pulls out a first aid kit.
13:08She sticks a bandage over her arm.
13:11New message from Carl.
13:16New message from Steve.
13:18Steve.
13:20New message from Susie Wirth.
13:21Oh, my gosh.
13:23Fuck, boss.
13:24Incoming call from Susie Wirth.
13:27She winces
13:28as she lines colorful band-aids
13:30over her wound.
13:31New message from Carl.
13:33New message from Steve.
13:34New message from Carl.
13:35New message from Susie Wirth.
13:37She opens a message
13:38from Susie reading,
13:39call ASAP, please,
13:41and responds,
13:42car trouble,
13:43on my way in.
13:45Hi, Paula.
13:47Hi, Mel.
13:48Her cleats are in there.
13:49Come on in.
13:50Paula enters Carl's house.
13:54Mal follows her in.
13:57Can I offer you anything?
13:58No, no, I gotta,
13:59I gotta get to work.
14:01Oh, come on.
14:02You can make us tea.
14:05Paula nods.
14:07Okay, yeah, sure.
14:09Didn't think you'd say yes.
14:11It's like a,
14:11it's a power move.
14:13I'm gonna make you boil water
14:14to prove I'm over any past ugliness.
14:17Are you?
14:18Uh, probably not.
14:20If there's so many new aggravations
14:22that I sometimes lose track
14:23of where I stand on the old ones.
14:26It's a power move.
14:29Hey, is something going on?
14:31No.
14:32No, no, it's nothing.
14:34Uh, this lady, like,
14:35caroned out on me
14:37at the market,
14:38and I, I forgot my credit card,
14:40and I, like, held up the line,
14:41and there was some shouting,
14:43and I probably could have
14:44handled it better,
14:45but hopefully we don't go viral
14:46or anything.
14:47Like I said,
14:47it's not, it's nothing.
14:48Hey.
14:49Hey, hey, hey.
14:51Don't do that.
14:52It's not nothing.
14:54Ugh, I, I hate that feeling.
14:57Sometimes, like,
14:58if I've had too much wine
14:59the night before,
15:00I can get really foggy
15:01the next day, like,
15:02forget my keys or my phone.
15:04I mean,
15:05had you been drinking, maybe?
15:07Or is that why, like,
15:08you have a fun night
15:09the night before?
15:10No.
15:12You know I had hazel last night.
15:14Oh.
15:16Yes.
15:16Right, sorry.
15:17I cut you off.
15:18So, was this Karen old
15:21or young?
15:21Yeah, I better get going.
15:23Wait, what?
15:24Why?
15:24Uh, because I forgot
15:25how committed you are
15:26to ruining my life.
15:28Uh, Paula?
15:31Look, can we be civil?
15:33What's happening now
15:34isn't anyone's fault.
15:36Uh, isn't it yours a little bit?
15:38You think you're the victim?
15:39Carl and I have a different POV.
15:41You and Carl are trying
15:43to take my daughter
15:44and move her to fucking Idaho.
15:47So you can take your POV
15:49and you can shove it
15:49right up your ASS.
15:51Get your own daughter.
15:52Mal, like,
15:53let Carl crawl all over you
15:54with his big sweaty chest push
15:55and grind away
15:56like he's trying to
15:57dislodge a bag of Doritos
15:58from a fucking vending machine.
15:59But I gotta tell you,
16:00a baby is gonna ruin
16:01that sweet little biking bot
16:02you've got going on there.
16:03You are gonna be exhausted
16:05and you're gonna be boring
16:05and you're gonna fucking reek
16:07of diapers and breast milk.
16:09And then who knows,
16:10maybe Carl dumps you
16:11for a different co-worker.
16:14She's my daughter, Mal.
16:16You don't get to fuck up her life.
16:18That's my job.
16:19She shoulders past Mal,
16:21who stands, gaping.
16:23Later, Paula secures her hair back
16:25as she enters the office.
16:30Susie sees her come in
16:31through a glass wall.
16:33Paula sits at her desk
16:34and takes her laptop
16:34out of her bag.
16:35She sheds off her jacket,
16:37revealing the line of band-aids
16:38on her arm.
16:39She picks up the landline.
16:44Hi, it's Kira,
16:45Prem's mom.
16:46Prem really wants to play
16:47goalie today.
16:48She has a piano recital sound.
16:49I can't risk her
16:50hurting a finger.
16:52Paula hangs up
16:53and opens her laptop.
16:54She looks behind her
16:55before she types in a search bar.
16:57Murder body found
16:58in Harding Park today.
17:03You're so dead.
17:04What?
17:05Susie's been looking for you.
17:06She's in a mood.
17:07What flavor?
17:08Vanilla.
17:10You okay?
17:11Yeah, no, no, no.
17:12Yeah, I cut myself
17:14on a tuna can.
17:15Weird.
17:16You're probably gonna get
17:17lockjaw.
17:18It was packed in spring water.
17:20I think I'm okay.
17:21Depends what the call comes.
17:22fix your car.
17:24Uh, yeah, yeah.
17:25Uh, uh, yes.
17:27And I will, um,
17:29get these pages
17:30to you by EOD.
17:32Not EOD,
17:33ASAP.
17:34This has to go live
17:35in two hours.
17:36I know you have
17:37responsibilities
17:38beyond this place,
17:39but candidly,
17:40I don't care about
17:41anything beyond this place.
17:42Look, you ask me
17:44for more responsibility.
17:45I am up against the...
17:46A search result
17:47on the screen reads,
17:48unidentified 29-year-old woman
17:50killed in brutal attack
17:52near...
17:52It requires commitment.
17:55Commitment?
17:56Yeah.
17:57I mean,
17:57I'm 100% committed.
17:59I'm 105% committed.
18:01Yeah.
18:02Susie walks away.
18:04Paula turns to a timer
18:05on her desk
18:05and sets it
18:06to nearly an hour.
18:07Now she wears her headphones
18:09as she hunches over her desk,
18:10marking a paper.
18:13Hi, can you confirm
18:14that you did say, um,
18:16that the senator
18:16wasn't there
18:17on the 4th?
18:19Hello, pilot actor.
18:21Uh-huh.
18:22Okay, you did say that.
18:24All right.
18:25She makes calls
18:26on the landline
18:27and Carl sends her texts.
18:28She receives a message
18:29from Steve.
18:34The timer on her desk
18:36indicates around
18:3720 minutes remaining.
18:38A hand taps her shoulder.
18:41Yeah, I bet
18:42I'm almost...
18:43Sorry.
18:43You have a visitor
18:45in the conference room?
18:48Her mouth opens.
18:49Now,
18:50she enters a room.
18:52Thank you for seeing me.
18:54You want some cashews?
18:57No?
18:58Okay.
18:59Detective Gonzalez choose.
19:01So,
19:01I ran down
19:03those addresses
19:03you gave me.
19:05Guess what?
19:06A sex worker
19:07was found dead
19:08in one of them.
19:09Paula squeezes
19:10her eyes shut.
19:11The responding officer
19:13has sent a photo.
19:14Paula shuts the door.
19:16Sure look like your guy.
19:20Gonzalez puts a hand
19:21on her hip.
19:23I'm gonna give you
19:24one chance here.
19:28If you've got anything
19:29to tell me,
19:31you're gonna want
19:32to tell me now.
19:34Right now.
19:51A co-worker,
19:52Jerry,
19:53watches Paula.
19:54Holy shit.
19:545-0.
19:55You think Paula's
19:57getting arrested
19:57for dangling participles?
19:59Seriously?
20:00Do you think
20:00she did something?
20:01I don't know.
20:01DUI, maybe?
20:02Loitering?
20:03Kidnapping?
20:04That's a bit much.
20:06Dog napping?
20:08Yeah.
20:08Okay,
20:08that I can actually
20:09see.
20:10Yeah,
20:11she's like
20:11just sad enough.
20:12Yeah.
20:12Like she sees a
20:13poodle tied up
20:14outside of Starby's
20:15and before she knows it
20:17she's got something
20:17to love.
20:19Paula looks at them.
20:20Yeah,
20:20I should have
20:21called the police.
20:21I was going to
20:22and then I didn't
20:24and then when I didn't
20:25I couldn't
20:27and...
20:27What possessed
20:28you to go there?
20:29That was pretty reckless.
20:30He was harassing me.
20:32He called my ex-husband.
20:34I have custody issues
20:35and Trevor knew
20:36about them.
20:37He knew about everything
20:38and he was gonna
20:38use it against me.
20:40Okay?
20:41I didn't know
20:42what to do
20:42and you guys
20:43weren't helping me
20:43at all.
20:44You had to confront him
20:46to scare him.
20:47I went there
20:48to tell him
20:48to leave me alone.
20:50He was threatening
20:51my kid.
20:52Okay.
20:54So you arrived.
20:56You rang the bell,
20:58kicked down the door.
21:00What?
21:01The door was open
21:02so I just walked in
21:03and then I found him.
21:06He was dead.
21:07He was in the bathtub.
21:10Uh, it was 8.15.
21:14What did you do next?
21:16Aside from not
21:17immediately call 911.
21:18Paula fidgets
21:20with her mouth.
21:21I heard someone else
21:23come in
21:23so I ran
21:24and I hid in the closet
21:27and then I heard a,
21:28uh,
21:30a saw,
21:32like a power saw.
21:36Was the body,
21:37uh,
21:39a little.
21:41Did you see this person?
21:43Old,
21:44young,
21:44anything will help.
21:46No,
21:46I didn't see them.
21:48I, uh,
21:49except,
21:49this is weird,
21:50they were wearing
21:51Trevor's boots,
21:53uh,
21:53with two different
21:54colored laces.
21:55Well,
21:55maybe he knew Trevor
21:56or maybe
21:58he forgot his
21:59murder booties
22:00and used the
22:01dead man's shoes
22:01instead.
22:02dead.
22:03So,
22:04you find a dead body,
22:06you think a killer
22:07is still in the house,
22:08you get away,
22:09you're safe,
22:11then you skip off
22:12to work,
22:13all la-di-da.
22:15I mean,
22:16you have to admit
22:16it's strange.
22:17Why not call 911?
22:20You know,
22:20she did weirdly mention
22:21porn the other day.
22:23She's not a pornographer.
22:24Even if she was,
22:25pornography's legal.
22:25It's free speech.
22:26Good point.
22:27Unless it involves minors.
22:29That's gross.
22:30Bestiality.
22:30Also illegal.
22:31And we're back
22:32to the dog thing.
22:33What if it's
22:34an underage dog?
22:35That'd be really bad.
22:38In the room,
22:39Gonzales shuts
22:40her pocket notebook
22:40and clasps
22:41her hands together.
22:44You were scared.
22:47I'll bet.
22:49He must have been
22:50terrified.
22:52I was,
22:53but not just
22:53of the guy.
22:54I kept thinking
22:55about my kid
22:57and how my ex-husband
22:59would use this
23:01to show that
23:02I was unfit
23:02if he knew
23:04that I was
23:05tangled up
23:06with a camboy
23:07or at the scene
23:09of a murder.
23:10I would,
23:12I would lose everything.
23:14I just,
23:15I panicked.
23:16Your ex
23:17sounds like
23:18a real jerk.
23:20Not always,
23:21but yeah.
23:22Lately,
23:22yeah.
23:24marriage is a marathon.
23:28Sometimes you puke.
23:32Paula's eyes widen.
23:34Later,
23:34she sits alone
23:35at a table
23:36as Jerry and Rudy
23:36walk up to her.
23:39Hi.
23:40What was that all about?
23:43Oh,
23:43um,
23:44nothing.
23:44I just got scammed online.
23:47Oh.
23:48Shit.
23:49Sorry.
23:50Credit card?
23:51Nope.
23:52Uh,
23:53I met a guy
23:54uh,
23:54he seemed nice
23:55and then he
23:55scammed me.
23:57Oh,
23:57that sucks.
23:58Dating sites
23:59can be brutal.
24:00Which one do you use?
24:01The one where you have
24:02to show photos
24:02of your graduate degree
24:03or the one where you have
24:04to show photos
24:04of your butthole?
24:06Paula turns.
24:08Those are just
24:08the two basic prototypes.
24:11It wasn't a dating site.
24:13He was a camboy.
24:16He was a camman.
24:17He was an age-appropriate
24:18cammer.
24:19Jesus.
24:20So embarrassing.
24:22It's not.
24:23It's amazing.
24:23It's the best thing
24:24that ever happened
24:25to me.
24:25Continue.
24:26No,
24:26I just,
24:27I thought he really
24:29liked me
24:30and I opened up
24:32to him
24:32and then
24:32he totally
24:33scammed me.
24:35Sorry,
24:36Paula.
24:36No,
24:37I just keep
24:38thinking like
24:39I should have known.
24:41Like,
24:42I have been with
24:42a gold medal
24:44succession
24:44of jerks
24:45in my life
24:47and like
24:48Carl was the first
24:49genuinely good guy
24:50I ever even met
24:51and we were
24:52happy,
24:54you know,
24:54like we got married
24:55and we moved
24:57to Portland
24:57and
24:59I got this job
25:00at a little local paper
25:01like
25:02they gave me
25:03a diner's club card
25:05which like
25:06nobody even
25:06accepts diners
25:07but I had it.
25:08I was in the club
25:10and then
25:11we had a baby
25:12and then
25:13regular bickering
25:14just turned into
25:15like real fights
25:16about real things
25:17and the genuinely
25:18good guy
25:19turned out to be
25:19like the biggest
25:20jerk of all
25:20and now I get
25:21scammed by camboys
25:22and you guys
25:23think I'm a super freak.
25:27Jerry places a hand
25:28over Paula's shoulder
25:29and gives her a hug.
25:30Paula buries her face
25:31in Jerry's neck.
25:32Jerry makes a face
25:33at Rudy
25:34and he points
25:35to himself.
25:38He stands
25:39and hugs them both.
25:44Okay,
25:45now you guys
25:45tell me
25:45your most humiliating
25:46sex stories,
25:47right?
25:48Jerry shakes her head.
25:50I used to pleasure
25:51myself to Scooby-Doo.
25:54Now,
25:54a sticky note
25:55on a box of donuts
25:56reads,
25:56reserved for
25:57web-DEV-MTG.
25:59A hand crumples
26:00the note
26:00on a soccer pitch.
26:02Hi!
26:03Yes.
26:04Hi,
26:04I'm Paula.
26:05I'm the new coach.
26:06Paula holds the donut box
26:07and a bag of soccer balls.
26:09Here,
26:09let me help you with that.
26:10Oh.
26:11Oh, yeah.
26:12Donuts for
26:13soccer practice, huh?
26:15Yeah, yeah.
26:15Everybody loves donuts.
26:17They are sweet.
26:18They're moist.
26:19They're America's fruit.
26:20She gives a tight-lipped smile.
26:24I'm Steve.
26:26Oh, hi.
26:27Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
26:28Oh, right.
26:28Oh, my God, I'm Paula.
26:29I totally
26:31did not text you back.
26:32No, no, it's okay.
26:33I over-texted.
26:35It's just
26:35kids' soccer practice, right?
26:37Yeah.
26:37My ex told me
26:39I need to be more chill, so...
26:40Be more chill?
26:42Yeah.
26:43Wow.
26:43I think you dodged a bullet.
26:44She never brought it up.
26:46They're my cleats.
26:47Your cleats?
26:48Cleats.
26:50Ow.
26:51Ow, Mom, I hate these.
26:53Okay, okay.
26:54Do you think maybe
26:55there's something else
26:56that's bugging you, sweetie?
26:57No.
26:58Paula ties her laces.
27:00Chloe.
27:01She gave everybody
27:02cherry lip on but me.
27:04Oof.
27:05It's not nice to make
27:07someone feel left out, is it?
27:08No.
27:09No.
27:10Sorry that happened.
27:11No.
27:13Hey, you know,
27:16on the night you were born,
27:19right before you
27:20slid out of me...
27:21Ew.
27:22Yeah, it was kind of ew,
27:23but right before that,
27:27there was a storm.
27:30Wind was howling,
27:31and hail was smashing
27:33the windows,
27:33and right at the craziest,
27:35most intense part...
27:38Paula shakes her head.
27:41What?
27:41You came out.
27:46You weren't like,
27:47oh, that sounds scary.
27:49I'm going to stay safe inside.
27:50You were like,
27:51that sounds awesome.
27:52I want to see what that is.
27:54And that's when I knew.
27:55I knew that you were going to be
27:57brave and adventurous,
27:58so forget about these lip balm
27:59girls,
28:01because what do I always
28:02tell you, Hazel?
28:03Just brush your teeth.
28:04Yes, but
28:06you are
28:07a
28:09badass.
28:10You're a badass.
28:12You know that, right?
28:14Hazel lowers her sock
28:15to reveal letters
28:16drawn onto her shin cover.
28:17You're a
28:18badass.
28:19Yabba.
28:20Wow.
28:21That is totally inappropriate.
28:23And I frickin' love it.
28:25Okay, get out there,
28:27badass.
28:28I love you all.
28:29I love you, too.
28:32Yabba.
28:32Yabba.
28:33Yabba.
28:34Paula smiles
28:35as she watches Hazel
28:36jog to the pitch.
28:38One, two, three.
28:40Go house!
28:43Woo, woo, woo, woo, woo, woo.
28:45Great job, coach.
28:47Hey, thanks.
28:48All right, Hazelnut,
28:48go get your stuff.
28:49Okay.
28:50Now, Jerry enters
28:51Susie's office.
28:52I had something
28:54that I would love
28:55for you to read
28:55if you had a sec.
28:57Jerry watches intently
28:59as Susie reads
28:59from a paper.
29:02Feeling a tad
29:03under the gun here.
29:04Right.
29:05I should leave.
29:06Yeah.
29:06Just be still.
29:11She flips through
29:12the papers
29:13and takes off
29:14her glasses.
29:17It's not shit.
29:19Uh, yay.
29:20Yes, yay, yes.
29:22It's not shit
29:22is as good as it gets.
29:23But, it doesn't grab me.
29:27Which, if you are
29:28an absolute, utter no one,
29:30which, no offense.
29:30No, I'm aware.
29:31I'm garbage.
29:32You need to overwhelm
29:33my central nervous system
29:35like some rare tropical disease.
29:38You just need something juicier.
29:40Now, people flock in
29:42and out of the lobby
29:43of a towering office building.
29:45Your body is amazing.
29:46You know how fast
29:47I can get you off?
29:49I've never been there.
29:50I hear it's, uh...
29:51A man marches down
29:52a hallway lined with offices.
29:54Oh, you're so hot.
29:54You like that?
29:55You like that?
29:56You like that?
29:56I'll touch my thing.
29:57Come on, Biggie.
29:58The man enters an office
30:00and sits at a desk.
30:01Come on, Biggie.
30:02Roll around in the mic.
30:03I like you all over.
30:04That's great.
30:05I'm so...
30:06A laptop sits in front of him
30:07and he grabs a tablet
30:08and a pen
30:09and takes notes.
30:10Now you touch this.
30:11Does your girlfriend
30:11know about me?
30:12Did you tell her
30:13what we do?
30:13Show me how you touch this.
30:14The laptop screen
30:15shows multiple windows
30:16with Trev Video
30:17chatting with multiple clients.
30:24Now, detectives work
30:25in a dimly lit office.
30:30Gee, come get dinner with me.
30:33Nope.
30:34Come on.
30:35We'll get those spicy wings
30:36you like.
30:37It'll be fun.
30:39I think I'll solve
30:40a murder instead.
30:41It's fun too.
30:42You should try sometime.
30:45Shoulders slumped,
30:46a curly-haired man
30:46walks away,
30:47leaving Gonzales
30:48sitting in front
30:49of a computer screen
30:49displaying a photo
30:50of Paula's
30:51New York State ID.
30:54What are you telling me,
30:56Paula?
30:58At night,
30:59yellow tape surrounds
31:00Trev's house.
31:01Headlights illuminate
31:02the street
31:03and a figure
31:03steps out of a car.
31:10standing next to a sedan,
31:12the figure shines
31:12a flashlight
31:13at the building.
31:14Boots step carefully
31:15on the asphalt
31:16and the figure shines
31:17the flashlight
31:18down the street.
31:25Leaves on a tree
31:26shake in the wind.
31:28A window shows
31:29the inside of Paula's house
31:30as she moves
31:31from the kitchen
31:31to the living room.
31:33Wearing a tiara,
31:34she sets down
31:34a bowl of popcorn
31:35and stands behind
31:37Hazel,
31:37filming a dance.
31:41Have a seat,
31:42watch mama get to work.
31:43I got the power,
31:44know my value.
31:45On Trev's street,
31:46the figure kneels down
31:47and picks up
31:47the pink paper bag.
31:48Ladies and the mamas,
31:49the solution to the pop,
31:50mad and dear
31:50to the comers.
31:52Watch you shake up the place.
31:54Girl, do it your way.
31:56A stained napkin
31:57sits inside the bag.
31:58Hazel and Paula dance,
32:00kicking their legs.
32:00The figure pulls out
32:02cleats from the bag
32:03and examines them.
32:05Hazel and Paula
32:06swing their arms.
32:07The figure uncovers
32:09writing on the inside
32:09of the cleats.
32:10Hazel, Y-A-B-A.
32:13The middle-aged man
32:14wearing a cap
32:15stares intently
32:16at the writing.
32:20Ah, the paprika!
32:24Hello, Hazel.
32:28Cut to black.
32:29Credits appear.
32:30H fora.h
32:59sight
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