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  • 7 hours ago
My Lady Jane Episode 1
Transcript
00:07Long, long ago, in a land not that far away, a succession of kings believed God granted them the right
00:15to rule England however they chose.
00:18You know Henry VIII, giant red-headed Tudor king, treated his wives like Kleenex, one blow and you're out.
00:24Divorced, beheaded, died. Divorced, beheaded, survived.
00:29Next on the throne was his son, Edward.
00:32Oh dear, when he died, the kingdom expected the crown to go to his half-sisters, Mary or even Elizabeth,
00:39but instead came a total bloody shocker, Lady Jane Grey.
00:46Intellectual rebel, a bit of a pain in the arse, and a political pawn for her ambitious noble family, Jane
00:53was married without her consent and crowned queen against her will.
00:56Then, just nine days later, she was branded a traitor.
01:01And, wham, off with her head.
01:07Jane could have been the leader England needed, but instead, history remembers her as the ultimate damsel in distress.
01:15Fuck that. What if history were different?
01:47Never do anything you don't want to do.
01:48No, actually. In fact, I may never marry.
01:54Yes.
01:55Mock the person who's curing your vagina.
01:58How will you live? What will you do?
02:01What would your mother say?
02:02Lady Frances doesn't know.
02:03I don't really care what she thinks. I've got bigger plans.
02:06Go on, tell her.
02:08I'm writing the world's first complete compendium of England's medicinal herbs and their uses.
02:13Herbs.
02:14Herbs.
02:14Herbs.
02:16Text and drawings for those who can't read.
02:19I intend to publish it and sell it.
02:21Perhaps I can make enough money to actually live independently.
02:24Where is the bloody calendula officinalis?
02:27Jane.
02:28Found it.
02:28Duke of Leicester is coming.
02:30Bollocks. Is that a day?
02:32She told me to get flowers.
02:35Use it twice a day.
02:44Jane, look.
02:47New stable boy.
02:49Lush.
02:50Teach me how to ride.
02:52They put you down.
02:53They say I'm wrong.
02:55You tacky dick.
02:57You put them off.
02:59Level, level.
03:01Tone your dress.
03:03Level, level.
03:04The face is a mess.
03:06Level, level.
03:08How could they go?
03:10Tren, I love you so.
03:21How did you chew them?
03:23Shut up, Margaret.
03:23Oh, lovely.
03:25Shut up, Catherine.
03:25Shut up, all of you.
03:27And smile.
03:28Earn your key.
03:28When Jane's father died with no male heir, his great uncle once removed the Duke of Leicester inherited everything, leaving
03:38the grey widow and daughters dependent on Leicester's charity for their very survival.
03:51Dastardly crowds on the London road, hanging at Chepster.
03:54Oh, no, what a bother.
03:56I think we should burn them all.
03:58Margaret.
03:58Quite agree, Poppet.
04:00The latest division laws stipulate death for the trespassing Aethian menace, but not method.
04:08And interpretation is the enemy of efficiency.
04:14You've grown up, haven't you?
04:16Bless you, child.
04:19You'll be prettier if you smiled.
04:22Would I?
04:23Your Grace.
04:23Now, do you have the...
04:29Elevation eases my gout.
04:32Cherries are good for that.
04:34You know I read that...
04:35You read?
04:36In a book?
04:38I never permitted my wives, all dead in childbirth, the fruits of my loins are very large.
04:47I never permitted any of them to read or even own any books at all.
04:52Yes, why did you burden us with all this education, Mother?
04:55Because stupid women are tedious.
04:56What about stupid men?
04:58Eh, what's that?
04:59Oh, nothing, nothing, Your Grace.
05:00Lester, pray tell, do you have the confirmation?
05:03Ah, yes, indeed I do.
05:05Jane, sweet child, we have secured for you the most thrilling honor one can bestow upon a young noble woman.
05:16Your marriage.
05:18Oh, shit.
05:20My marriage?
05:23What?
05:24What would you say to believe that you're going to die of Rachel?
05:27Shut up!
05:28I'm sorry.
05:29You should be.
05:31You're wrong about everything.
05:32I do not look prettier when I smile, and I am not destined to be wretched.
05:37I am...
05:37Overwhelmed by the wonderful news.
05:39Now I will escort Jane to her chambers.
05:42Come along.
05:43Forgive her, Your Grace.
05:46I don't have to.
05:47How dare you put up my life with that cretin?
05:49You drove me to this.
05:50But I don't want to be married.
05:51You no longer define your life by what you don't want.
05:54You refuse to discuss suitors, or hunt, or dance, or do anything except for gossip with
06:01your servant and fiddle with those infernal herbs and books.
06:04Lord Guildford Dudley will be your husband.
06:08Guildford Dudley?
06:11Guildford Dudley?
06:13I've heard of him.
06:14The girls at court say he's vile.
06:15He drinks, fights, gambles.
06:18He cavorts with women of ill repute.
06:21He is the last man I would ever marry.
06:23Jane, this marriage protects us.
06:25Leicester will soon tire of his charity towards us.
06:28And I do not intend to leave my house for a wretched hovel in Croydon.
06:32Your father left us nothing.
06:34Our only wealth is blood.
06:37And you are pure, verity, and cousin to the king.
06:40The Dudleys will do anything for power.
06:42And they are very, very, very rich.
06:45You mercenary bitch.
06:48We do not do that anymore.
06:51In three days' time, you will be wed.
06:55I will do everything in my power to get out of this marriage.
07:00Jane, you have no power.
07:06My book.
07:08Where is my book?
07:10What did you do?
07:13I threw that wretched thing on the fire.
07:34There comes a point in everyone's life when you realise you simply cannot put up with your mother's bullshit for
07:41another moment.
07:55Tell me what pleases you.
07:59How this works.
08:09I don't dwell.
08:14I have no clue.
08:15A friend.
08:15It goes back to me.
08:23I have no clue.
08:24I'm not sure.
08:27We hope to see you in a way.
08:30I will die.
08:34we're leaving i was rather enjoying that wait what did you say we're leaving now right now
08:40we'll go north find a village when anybody knows us i'll make my cures and you can sell
08:44are you crazy i have been trapped here my entire life if i marry i will be trapped somewhere else
08:48now that is crazy jane you don't know what it's like you sound like
08:53like my mother it's nearly dawn we must hurry dangerous ethians the pack people talk of civil
08:59war you don't really believe that now do you i mean when's the last time you even saw an ethian
09:03what do you know you don't go anywhere jane when i was a kid i your family kicked you out
09:10yes you told me there was a man involved that's not you won't be safe i will never be safe
09:16when
09:16my mother is trying to barter me i want my life to be mine forever jane then stay be fine
09:25on
09:26my own you'd be dead in a week we'll need some money
09:33do you like my ring my sweet mother is a sound sleeper
09:48go the old path to marlow up the river barge to start our lives
10:10what's that sound
10:16run
10:22hurry
10:29come on
10:52stop they're here
10:58that's the thief that stole my ring and kidnapped my daughter she didn't let go of her it was me
11:03it was me it was not you understand i forced it to come your maid will be hanged for stealing
11:11if she doesn't die in prison first jane forgive me
11:26have you forgotten the punishment for hiding ethian i had no idea then you're a fool
11:32go home
11:43a hawk yes susanna is a hawk did i mention that in this world some people can transform themselves
11:52into an animal they're called ethians everyone else like jane is verity jane has always known about
12:00ethians of course she just never expected that her maid her friend was one of them jane was
12:07taught that ethians are dangerous abominations sent by satan to destroy the verity way of life
12:12poppycock of course as an ethian you can't choose your animal form but you can switch back and forth
12:20whenever you please ethianism skips generations and pops up now and again usually in puberty during
12:27a moment of high emotion one minute you're fighting with your sister the next bam you're a badger
12:33it's just one of those things you're born with like being left-handed or the color of your eyes
12:39for decades ethians have been reviled persecuted banned and then king henry renowned shithead that he
12:46was exiled them to the wilderness where they must hunt beg or steal to survive jane has always
12:54wondered what it's like to be an ethian but she'd never known one in real life and real life as
13:03we
13:03know can be a real kick in the tits why is jane soaking mommy's right jane's just been difficult
13:10oh how typical of you to be on her side
13:14ow not fair i wasn't ready i have an idea let's test all the servants with the dunking to see
13:20if
13:21they're ethian a dunking and who will feed you and make you fires when all the servants are dead
13:30you're right
13:33tricked you faint blood margaret that's cheating you mispronounced winning
13:47where are you going where's she going to London to see Lord Dudley I'm in your wedding
14:05hey follow that barge
14:27Lady Francis Lord Dudley and Lady Jane I wasn't expecting my future daughter-in-law welcome
14:42as you can see we're installing new tapestries for the nuptials straight from Firenze braised hog
14:50peacock pie jellied egret and my own favorite roast dolphin oh yeah now musical players how do we feel
14:59about the French tepid I know filthy beast lovers but the tunes I must say I'm enchanted to finally
15:08meet you everybody tells me you're very very clever I think my mother rather regrets my education that's
15:13absolute I jest my cousin King Edward and I shared tutors his children he's my oldest friend
15:21well kings don't have friends they have subjects and counselors like my lord I'm here to meet your
15:28son I'm afraid Guildford isn't here he's out he's busy doing things things drinking and or fighting
15:35indisposed with a woman of fiscal virtue oh yes I know all about those nerves
15:41I quite understand it's a big day now do you know my other son Stan is also engaged to a
15:47Bavarian
15:48princess really oh yeah is she very filthy terrible outbreak of the plague there at the moment so the
15:55wedding is postponed but as I said to him if she can survive the plague she can survive marriage
16:08actually Dudley and I have a marriage contract to discuss I would like to say something first
16:14again by all means my dear girl I don't want to marry your son
16:20nobody cares what you want now when you buy a tapestry you're not buying
16:48oh
16:54stop that stop how dare you hurt that child it's accosted me you were teasing him
17:00I saw it what else is saying are you hurt is that worse give him those coins no do it
17:12certainly my lady
17:15oopsie
17:17really
17:18teach him a lesson about the evils of begging
17:20pox on you fuckface
17:24watch out
17:25they have fleas
17:30who is that man
17:31lord dudley's son
17:33he's a prick
17:38that's
17:38gilford dudley
17:41jane knows that marrying such a prat
17:43is incon-fucking-ceivable
17:46jane needs a miracle
17:48and the only people who can perform miracles
17:52are saints
17:56and kings
18:03king edward took the throne at nine years old
18:07after his father king henry
18:09finally kicked the royal bucket
18:12edward's life changed from spending carefree days with his beloved cousin jane
18:17to being told by bossy boots counselors how to rule his own bloody kingdom
18:24including but not limited to reading poorly written proclamations targeting ethians
18:36is there a problem your majesty
18:45my men
18:50i would that i could be by your side on this day
18:54and that you would call me friend
18:56he's gone completely off script
18:58indeed lonson
18:59get the champ
19:00i'll never know the rush of combat
19:04or the joy of brotherhood in arms
19:07but what i can give you
19:09is my unending respect
19:11and gratitude
19:13for your bravery and valor
19:15so that we may assure
19:17our people
19:18they are safe
19:20they are safe
19:20in england forever
19:21hoorah
19:23hoorah
19:29hoorah
19:30your majesty
19:34shall we
19:39just wait until everyone's gone who are those new soldiers on the black horses i told you
19:45remember kings and guards an elite force to protect you from the ethian menace plaguing our land
19:53first point of order beasts were caught sneaking into grimsby it was the pack yes yes the so-called
20:05ethian resistance beastly thugs and in clear violation of division law no ethian is permitted
20:14in verity cities towns or properties under pain of death sentenced to death of course it's the law
20:21but you told me there is plenty of food for them in the wild why must they sneak into grimsby
20:26the
20:27mind boggles i mean have you ever been to grimsby don't kill them just put them back in the woods
20:32or
20:32something my cousin lady jane grey is here dismiss all of you out
20:48your majesty stop it how are you feeling how's the cold it's fine ghastly it's fine you know
20:57say hello to my new doggy petunia hello petunia it's a very devoted little thing let me ask her
21:03sight oh she's beautiful tell me janey how are your sisters is margaret still pulling wings of
21:09butterflies should we take some air
21:18i have terrible news my mother's forcing me to marry will you intervene jane i've already approved
21:26it oh why why would you ever approve my marriage without my consent be logical it is your duty to
21:36protect your family i do not choose to marry you think i chose this life we're all born to certain
21:43roles our destiny is set anyway what else would you possibly do i do not want to be a wife
21:49just some man's problem i do not want to be a dying king but here we are you're not dying
21:56are you i have the affliction do you think i'll be the first to recover
22:09the kingdom is in chaos i'm doing my best or soon i'll be gone no no don't say that
22:18this is the real world the kings die noble women marry
22:28now as the chap in question he cannot be that bad his peter is one of my counselors
22:36you'll quickly improve him the way that you improved me
22:40did i need improving though that is the question
22:48i always thought marriage sounded rather fun a partner a friend
22:57someone to make you laugh tell you that you're not alone
23:01i always thought i'd only marry if i could choose the man myself
23:07genie that's just silly
23:13princess mary and princess elizabeth bess for short are the discarded offspring of two of
23:19king henry's most unfortunate wives their brother edward is youngest but the first to
23:25get the crown because of chop chop mess you know his penis
23:32your royal highnesses where's our brother he's in the gardens
23:38perambulating with lady jane grey lady jane grey
23:55your highness says it's a pleasure
24:11sweet best jane and i were having some blackberry pie your favorite
24:19mary thank you
24:23how a fool brother the infliction is such a dreadful way to die
24:28cough and cough until you cough your lungs
24:29cough and cough edward bruv
24:34edward
24:36jane oh he can't breathe it's the affliction guards fetch dr botts
24:41we need pulmonaria uh lungwort the lilac flower planted over there please look at me
24:49Harry!
25:02It's the rain.
25:10Jane saved the king's life.
25:11Jane saved the king's life.
25:12Jane saved the king's life.
25:13I am here!
25:14Ah, Dr. Butts.
25:16I am here.
25:21Another attack.
25:22Oh, dear me.
25:23I forgot my forceps.
25:26You may wish to avert your eyes.
25:29I'm going in.
25:35That was exciting, wasn't it?
25:38Exciting?
25:39I can't leave Edward like this.
25:41Will you check if your medic has elf doc to her?
25:44His Majesty enjoys the finest medical care in the kingdom.
25:47Ta-ta!
25:47Let's go, Pa.
26:00Might I venture a suggestion, Your Highness?
26:05Boiled kitten tea with urine.
26:09Hmm.
26:09An old man's urine, ideally.
26:12Oh, lovely. Lovely.
26:14No kitten tea. Thank you.
26:19Your Majesty, I only just heard...
26:21Oh, finally he turns up.
26:23Where is Jane?
26:24Why, I sent her home.
26:27I think the time has come to appoint your successor.
26:31I know.
26:33I'm not afraid of death.
26:35Well, that's not true. I'm petrified.
26:36You have the strength of a thousand lions.
26:38Your Majesty, it is incumbent upon me as Lord Protector to confirm
26:42that your eldest sister Mary is indeed the rightful heir to the throne
26:46and the only choice to keep our kingdom safe
26:48from the rampaging hordes of satanic beasts.
26:52Must you be so dramatic?
26:55The entire kingdom agrees.
26:58I do not agree.
27:00Let's just take a beat for a moment and think about this.
27:04Now, Princess Mary's mother, Catherine,
27:07was originally married to your father's brother, Arthur,
27:11the heir apparent. Remember that old chestnut?
27:14Now, when Artie died, of course, she claimed non-consummation
27:19so that she could declare Virgo intacta,
27:23get an annulment and marry the new king.
27:25But, I mean, come on. Who are we kidding? Spaniards?
27:29The, the, the, the, the, the.
27:31And anyway, Henry went on to divorce Catherine.
27:35So, is Mary's claim even legally valid, you see?
27:39Technically, she's a bastard.
27:41Now, what about Princess Bess?
27:44Her mother was an Aethian. The people would never accept it?
27:47You're absolutely right.
27:49Seymour. Now, what if there was somebody else?
27:53Someone with direct royal lineage, perhaps,
27:57engaged to a high-born verity.
28:00Someone who could, oh, I don't know, golly,
28:03wear the crown until such time as they could produce a son.
28:08Lady Jane.
28:09Lady Jane Grey? Your cousin?
28:11Oh, what a marvellous idea.
28:13Queen Jane? Terrible idea.
28:15But this is Royal Highness's idea. Are you saying it's terrible?
28:20She's a girl. Girls can't rule.
28:23Jane could rule with our help until such time as her son can be king.
28:26What a happy coincidence.
28:28Jane's husband-to-be is your son.
28:31The future king would be his grandson.
28:34Oh, my. I hadn't thought of that.
28:35Queen Jane. That's absurd.
28:37Has a ring to it, doesn't it?
28:39Sort of squabbling.
28:40I have made my choice.
28:44Take my will to the Chantry for safekeeping.
28:47You may only open this in the event of my death and not before.
28:59I say, do you think this will take you very much longer?
29:04I shall take a horse. I don't live very far.
29:06Well, Seymour wouldn't approve, my lady.
29:09Well, he certainly wouldn't approve of my catching my death in the cold.
29:13And neither would my cousin.
29:15The king?
29:19Dudley, you swinish snake.
29:23A swine and a snake.
29:25It's a matter of succession.
29:26I bow to King Edward's wishes, whatever they may be.
29:29May the devil take you, Dudley.
29:31You know, you really must calm down.
29:33This level of anger, it's simply toxic.
29:35I can't.
29:36Breathe, my dear man.
29:37Let us hope he favours the rightful inheritor in Princess Mary.
29:42If he names Lady Jane, I cannot be responsible for what happens next.
29:46Well, of course you'd not be responsible for what happens next.
29:50You'd be superfluous.
29:52Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a wedding to plan.
30:01Lord Seymour?
30:02Give me that.
30:10Seymour, I've already made my choice.
30:13I need to rest.
30:14Your Majesty, you must be.
30:17Princess Mary's Blackberry Clash is dope, isn't she?
30:20Always looking out for your health.
30:21I've been to you now.
30:22I've been to you now.
30:23Guns!
30:24Take this muck to the kennel and kill it.
30:27No!
30:27You are weak in mind and body.
30:29This thing needs to be destroyed and I shall take great pleasure in doing it myself.
30:32Do not touch my dog.
30:39Dismissed.
30:45For the first time in Jane's entire life, no one knows where she is.
30:51She is alone and free.
30:54She can finally escape, ride north, discover, no, create her destiny.
31:01Wait a minute.
31:02What's that?
31:03What's that?
31:05What's that?
31:05Guards.
31:06A search party, clearly sent by King Edward Anne slash or her dratted mother to find her.
31:12But, as they say in the classics, not today, Satan.
31:19Jane needs somewhere to hide.
31:21Like an empty woodsman's hut or a nice hay bale, somewhere no one would ever think to look.
31:55You cheated you gotcha.
31:56Do not you dumb f**k!
31:58You f**k!
31:58You f**k!
31:59You f**k!
31:59You f**k!
32:00Do you mind if I interrupt?
32:04Arm wrestling is an ancient art.
32:08The winner must be humble.
32:10And the loser gracious.
32:12Go shag a beast, you posh wanker.
32:13Yeah, f**k off.
32:15Very well.
32:16I'll fetch the f**k.
32:20And now we're gonna gut you.
32:22Gut me with what?
32:26Are you looking for these?
32:39And now I have your attention, shall I torture you with a poem?
32:44Yeah!
32:46No!
32:47Too late.
32:50May a mess provisitum in Tabernamori.
32:52Hubivina proxima morientis.
32:56Hooray!
32:58Thank you!
32:59I'm crazy!
33:01Please!
33:02Come on!
33:03There we go!
33:18Let us take a moment to reassure our viewers that there is no such thing as love at first sight,
33:24but lust at first sight.
33:28Oh yes.
33:31Totally a thing.
33:33So do you...
33:35Come here often?
33:37Jane is the first person in history to ever use that line.
33:41And, two seconds later, the first to regret it.
33:46Wow.
33:47Oops.
33:48How's your response?
33:49So you could recite the art poet standing on a table in a dirt floor tavern, but you can't muster
33:53a simple apology.
33:54I said oops.
33:56You mispronounced Wiener, by the way.
33:59Viener.
34:00Where'd you learn your Latin?
34:01In a ditch?
34:02Who would teach Latin in a ditch?
34:04Oh, you're missing the point.
34:05The point being.
34:05Your mediocre Latin in disappointing table manners.
34:08That we had a table?
34:09No.
34:09Again, missing the point.
34:11Has anybody ever told you that you're an insufferable pedant?
34:13Oh, where I come from, pedantry is a virtue.
34:16Where I come from, amiability trumps semantics.
34:18Amiability is for the meek.
34:19Amiability is for the amiable.
34:22You were the rudest man I've ever met.
34:23Well, the knight is young.
34:25Mingled.
34:26Oh, I intend to.
34:29Goodnight.
34:30Wait.
34:34Who are you?
34:36Who are you?
34:37Excuse me.
34:38No.
34:39No.
34:40You lot can't be here.
34:42We just came for a drink, mate.
34:43I don't want any trouble.
34:44He's asking you nice thing.
34:47No trouble.
34:49He had my word.
34:50And I said no.
34:51Leave.
34:53Why is he getting them out?
34:56Good evening!
34:59Come with me.
35:00That's it.
35:01What?
35:03I said good evening, my good people.
35:07We have it on excellent authority that a certain beast might be in here.
35:13Goes by the name of Archer.
35:17He's wanted for robbery, arson, sedition.
35:22Sedition.
35:23That's a new one.
35:23Well, I do try.
35:28Hunting scum makes me ever so thirsty.
35:39Hand him over or we dunk every last one of you.
35:49What do you think?
35:49You up for it?
35:51Yeah.
35:51Fuck it.
35:53Why don't you leave him alone, you bunch of thugs?
35:57I'm Archer.
36:01Then you're coming with me.
36:06Right.
36:07Let's go.
36:17This door needs outside.
36:19Kill that fucking man!
36:37This is madness.
36:39I never knew things were like this.
36:40You've never seen a bear in a bar before?
36:43Take the move!
37:00Hey!
37:02Hey!
37:03More guards are coming!
37:04Archer, Archer's are here!
37:05Let's get out of here!
37:07No!
37:07Susanna!
37:09Susanna?
37:10Susanna, come on!
37:15Lost Charles.
37:16Come with me.
37:21No.
37:27What are you doing here?
37:28What are you doing here?
37:29Susanna, come on!
37:30Let's go!
37:31I'm so sorry.
37:32It's all mine.
37:32What are you doing here?
37:34Beast or maiden?
37:36Maiden.
37:36A verity maiden in British.
37:38I don't think so.
37:38Susanna, go!
37:42Aiding in abetting Satan's spawn.
37:44That'll be exile for you.
37:45Exile sounds fine, actually.
37:47How about a nice dunking instead?
37:49Take her away!
37:57Eels.
38:00Yummy.
38:03Shall we have a nibble?
38:09Your Majesty!
38:11Elysian!
38:11Calm down and listen to me.
38:13Your great-grandmother sent me.
38:14No, you lie.
38:15My great-grandmother is dead.
38:16God!
38:17Is she?
38:18Then who gave me this?
38:22To be yet so cross.
38:24She was buried with it.
38:25No, she wasn't.
38:27She's alive.
38:28And she sent me here because she suspected that you do not have the affliction.
38:32And she was right.
38:34You are being poisoned.
38:36I can smell it in your food.
38:38I know.
38:38It's a lot to process.
38:41No, no.
38:42That actually explains a lot.
38:43We must go to her.
38:44Now.
38:45Who is poisoning me?
38:46I don't know.
38:48But we need to get you out of here.
38:52Sorry.
38:52Do you have something that I could wear?
38:54We're not normally so stark as when we change, but I was.
38:58Because...
38:58Do you know what?
38:59It's a long story.
39:00I'll tell you about it some other time.
39:02There's a robe just there.
39:03Cheers.
39:03At this moment, Edward has two major revelations.
39:08One.
39:08The dog girl is telling the truth.
39:11And two.
39:12He is not interested in women.
39:14Romantically.
39:15He always imagined girls look like men without their clothes.
39:19Edward has led, let us remember, a deeply sheltered life.
39:24Now.
39:25You get dressed.
39:26And we will be off.
39:28Like a tart snickers.
39:29I'm not going anywhere with you.
39:30What?
39:31Why not?
39:32Well, until about five minutes ago, you were a dog.
39:34And I am the king.
39:35And someone is trying to kill me.
39:37I must find them and punish them, obviously.
39:40But...
39:40I have spoken.
39:41Granny will be most vexed.
39:44Come in.
39:52Not hungry, Your Majesty?
39:54No.
39:55Take his away.
40:10Dearest Petunia, I think you might have saved my life.
40:16Good evening, Your Majesty.
40:18Good evening, Your Majesty.
40:28How's my baby brother?
40:31Weaker than a Sicilian's virtue.
40:35Then his will for succession is...
40:37Done.
40:41However...
40:43However...
40:45However...
40:48Did something happen?
40:50No.
40:51Tell me what happened.
40:52Nothing happened.
40:54You are the natural choice pudding pie.
40:58The entire kingdom wants you and you alone to succeed him.
41:02I will be queen.
41:05I will be queen.
41:06And I will cleanse England of Satan's beasts.
41:11And I will not have any nasty surprises.
41:18No!
41:18Oh no, please!
41:20Ah yes.
41:21A dunking.
41:22Torture to force a suspected Aethion to change.
41:27Or die.
41:37Right!
41:38Who's next?
41:40What about her?
41:41What?
41:42She helped one escape.
41:43Might be a beef.
41:44No, I'm not Aethion.
41:45I'm...
41:46No, I'm not...
41:47Don't you...
41:48No!
41:48No!
41:49No!
41:50Please!
41:50Please!
41:51I won't change or drown!
41:52Are you hurting me?
41:54That's the portlock.
41:55Stop!
41:58That is Lady Jane Grey.
42:01Cousin to his majesty, King Edward.
42:04And I am ordering you to cease drowning her immediately.
42:27I shall have those men flogged to death.
42:30It's as close as Francis will ever get to saying, I love you.
42:36Mother, about the wedding.
42:40Please.
42:43Please.
42:44Please don't make me marry him.
42:47I'll only say this once.
42:51If you don't marry Guildford Dudley tomorrow,
42:55I shall be forced to marry your sister Catherine to the Duke of Leicester, toe and all.
43:02You wouldn't...
43:04Try me.
43:18If only Jane could think of another way out of her unwanted wedding.
43:23But her thoughts keep drifting back to...
43:26The tavern.
43:27And that intriguing yet infuriating young man.
43:31Not spending more time with intriguing yet infuriating young men in taverns
43:35was one of the chief injustices of Jane's life.
43:38Her existence would be all injustice now.
43:41Marriage.
43:42Motherhood.
43:43Death.
43:44In quick succession, if statistics are anything to go by.
43:48Die, kitty! Die!
43:50Better be alive!
43:51Ha!
43:51Margaret, get out!
43:52You know the servants hate it when you get your fake blood on everything!
44:03Wait, come back!
44:05Margaret, come back!
44:12Hands are sweating, my heart beats heavy.
44:16There's something out there, I swear I'm not ready.
44:19And I don't really know where to go from here.
44:26The sound is getting out of the floor.
44:29You start shaking, everybody's feeling it.
44:32Why can't I feel it though?
44:35Leave them wanting less.
45:01What?
45:03You'll do, I suppose.
45:05Feet still hurt.
45:07No.
45:07And I think I lost sight of where I was going.
45:11And I don't really know where to go from here.
45:16Cause all I can feel is where it goes.
45:22Cause gotta get out of my head, do something out of regret.
45:24Keep sensing out with someone he met.
45:26Losing my sanity, get rid of my vanity.
45:29All I can feel is where it goes.
45:33All I can feel is where it goes.
45:36All I can feel is where it goes.
45:37Caught inside of a dark night, I...
45:43Left me standing by my chair.
45:53Oh, yes.
45:55Frequenter of taverns, seeker of trouble,
45:58son of Lord Dudley,
46:00and lust object of one Lady Jane Grey,
46:04may I present Jane's husband-to-be,
46:07Lord Guildford Dudley.
46:10Dearly beloved,
46:13we are gathered here today
46:14to witness the joining
46:16of Lady Jane Grey
46:18and Lord Guildford Dudley
46:21in the sacred blessing
46:23of holy matrimony.
46:25Lord Guildford Dudley.
46:29What?
46:32Oh, um...
46:37I, Guildford,
46:39take thee, Jane,
46:44to be my...
46:49my...
46:52my...
46:55my wedded wife,
46:58to have and to hold
47:00from this day forward.
47:03I plight thee, my troth.
47:05Yes.
47:06And Lady Jane Grey.
47:12I...
47:14Jane.
47:16Have a little...
47:18or something.
47:21Oh.
47:44Jane.
47:46It's the affliction!
47:50What did you do?
47:51What did you do?
47:53I thought you talked about.
48:12Well, well, well.
48:14So many questions.
48:15Will Jane marry the notorious
48:18Guilford Dudley?
48:20Will King Edward be murdered
48:21by his deranged sister Mary?
48:24I will be queen.
48:25Will Susannah survive in exile?
48:29You'll find out
48:30because our story
48:31has only just begun.
48:32Tell me everything.
48:34And once Jane is stuck
48:36in her insufferable marriage...
48:38I'm your lord husband!
48:39Ha!
48:39To the most infuriating...
48:41You'll need a dagger.
48:42That's not a dagger.
48:43This is a dagger.
48:44And attractive man
48:46she's ever met.
48:53And living in a world fraught
48:55with danger...
48:56Somebody at court
48:57is poisoning me.
48:58And division.
48:59The entire kingdom
49:00is at stake.
49:01She realises perhaps
49:03she doesn't know everything
49:04after all.
49:05Bollocks.
49:06Just when life can't get
49:07any more complicated...
49:09My lady.
49:10His majesty is dead.
49:12Jane is named
49:13Queen of England.
49:14Nothing's more important
49:16than the monarchy.
49:16Quite.
49:17Quite.
49:18Quite.
49:22Now she's surrounded
49:24by scoundrels.
49:25Traitors.
49:26Sycophants.
49:27Reprobates.
49:28Fools.
49:30Murderers.
49:31Have fun getting yourself killed.
49:32I will, thank you.
49:33And worst of all...
49:35her mother.
49:36To me!
49:37They do rather fancy
49:38mummy kings.
49:42Ready for an epic tale
49:43of true love
49:44and high adventure.
49:46The country wants to change.
49:47I could heal England.
49:50It sounds to me like
49:51you're giving up.
49:52I've never given up on anything
49:53in my entire life.
49:55Really?
49:55Really?
49:55Then prove it.
49:57Of course you are.
49:59Jane!
50:00If you don't escape
50:01now you'll die.
50:02Fuck that.
50:04Settle in my darlings.
50:05This is my Lady Jane.
50:08Come.
50:08The kingdom awaits.
50:09I'm famous now.
50:35I'm famous now.
50:42Put your father in a world
50:45She's not sure if you're a boy or a girl
50:49Hey babe, your head's all right
50:53Hey babe, let's go out tonight
50:57You're like me and I like it all
51:00You like dancing and look divine
51:03You love bands when they're playing hard
51:07You're one more and you're one at last
51:10They put you down, they say I'm wrong
51:14You tacky thing, you put them on
51:18Level, level, tone your dress
51:22Level, level, your face is a mess
51:25Level, level, how could they know
51:29Hot shrimp, I love you so
51:35Don't ya
51:39Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,
51:47do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,
51:49do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,
51:53do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,
51:54do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do,
51:54do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do
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