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Have I Got News for You - Season 4 US - Episode 06: Bomani Jones, Julia Ioffe
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00:20Welcome to Have I Got News For You.
00:22I'm Roy Wood Jr.
00:24In the news this week.
00:27Christy Noem patrols immigration hotspots offshore.
00:36Chuck Schumer welcomes viewers to tonight's episode of Have I Got News For You.
00:41Tonight is going to be long, painful, and tedious.
00:46On Amber's team tonight, she's a journalist for Puck and the author of a feminist history of Russia called Motherland.
00:53And I'll ask her if it's true that in Soviet Russia, dog walks you.
00:57It's Julia Yaffe.
01:02And joining Michael, you know him from Around the Horn, highly questionable game theory in his podcast, The Right Time
01:09with Beaumont Jones.
01:10And I'll ask this Emmy winner if he understands the rules of curling, because I still don't.
01:15It is Beaumont Jones.
01:19All right, let's play the feud.
01:21Time for the biggest stories of the week.
01:23Amber, Julia, watch the clip.
01:25Tell me what's the story.
01:27The story is Trump.
01:29He's pointing over there, because you know what's over there?
01:32This asshole.
01:33Little guy.
01:35And dogs fighting.
01:36Just normal America stuff.
01:38Voting.
01:38I think I see what it is.
01:40Do you?
01:40Yeah.
01:40Okay, tell him.
01:44Is it them fighting over the SAVE Act?
01:47Republicans are trying to keep the president in check, while the Democrats are just kind of hoping that a giant
01:52meteorate takes out planet Earth.
01:55Short of that, they'd like to win some elections, and one congressional Democrat plays an exciting game of would you
02:01rather.
02:01I would rather stick forks in my eyes than be here tonight to listen to Donald Trump talk about the
02:07State of the Union.
02:09Michael, what would you say the State of the Union is right now?
02:12Well, here on CNN, now owned apparently by Paramount, the State of the Union has never been better, and we
02:19have Donald Trump to thank for it.
02:25His speech was mostly Donald Trump's usual talking points, but he did his best to make it must-see TV
02:32with some thrilling cinematic reveals.
02:35I'm thrilled to say that he is here tonight with his wife Amy, Eric, and Amy, come on in.
02:42Alejandro, I'm pleased to inform you that not only has your uncle been released, but he is here tonight.
02:49We brought him over to celebrate his freedom with you in person.
02:53Enrique, please come down.
02:55Because when I just get let out of something, that's who I want to hang out with.
02:59Now, the speech was many things, but mostly it was long.
03:04The president broke his own record for the longest presidential address to Congress, speaking for one hour and 47 minutes.
03:11Now, lengthy speeches like that usually have some sort of overall theme.
03:15If you go and talk to the populace for an hour and 45 minutes or so, you want a main
03:20message, a through line.
03:22But, buddy, what vibes did you get from the State of the Union?
03:24Same vibe as always, man.
03:26Fuck him.
03:29The theme from the president's speech appeared to be slow, agonizing death.
03:35One bullet after another, violently and viciously, shredding his leg into numerous pieces, bleeding profusely, dead in a bathtub, blood
03:45all over, gushing blood which was flowing back down the aisle, helicopter lands at a steep angle.
03:52Terrible speech, great movie pitch.
03:56It's American carnage, again, like his first inauguration speech.
04:01Now, partway through the speech, the president tried to trick the Democrats with what he believed was a make-or
04:07-break question.
04:08Does anyone know what he asked of the Democrats?
04:11Are you sick of me yet?
04:14If you agree with this statement, then stand up and show your support.
04:20The first duty of the American government is to protect American citizens, not illegal aliens.
04:41But Trump knew what he was doing there because it's a bad look if you stand up.
04:45It's a bad look if you sit down.
04:47And he knew it.
04:48He hit that shit like Larry Bird at the three-point contest.
04:50He didn't even get done with it.
04:52He was already turning around, celebrating.
04:54He didn't even get finished saying it, like, watch what's about to happen.
04:56He knew he did it.
04:58He knew he did.
04:59If there's one Democrat that seems to have it figured out on how to play these State of the Union
05:04addresses, it's the old Texas boy, Al Green.
05:10No, it's not that Al Green.
05:14Not love and happiness, Al Green.
05:16This gentleman is in the Congress.
05:17We have the smartest audience on CNN.
05:24I got you.
05:27Al Green is a singer.
05:29He's also a congressman.
05:32Does anyone know what Rep. Al Green did at this year's State of the Union?
05:36He held up a sign that said black people are not apes.
05:38Then the Sandman came along and was like...
05:43Sandman is on the Apollo.
05:47Here's Al Green just a few minutes into the president's speech.
05:56He got kicked out.
05:57Now, if that looks familiar, it's because Al Green did the same thing last year.
06:02Different signs.
06:03State of the Union usually starts right at 9 o'clock.
06:05Last year, Al Green got kicked out at 924.
06:07This year, Al Green got kicked out at 914 p.m.
06:12Got shaved 10 minutes off his top.
06:17That's a champion.
06:18Mm-hmm.
06:19Every year, he say he gonna show up.
06:21Every year, he tells somebody, I'm gonna be there at 930.
06:23So, can I make a prediction for next year?
06:26Yeah.
06:26Al Green will get kicked out at 904.
06:29As soon as Trump get on stage, Al Green pull out that Uber app.
06:33Mm-hmm.
06:37Now, that was Al Green's strategy.
06:39And one Democrat did the bravest thing of all.
06:42They went to the State of the Union,
06:44but wearing a pin with Donald Trump as Pinocchio.
06:48Ah.
06:49That'll show him.
06:49Damn, boy.
06:51Don't worry.
06:52Chuck Schumer pulled out the big guns.
06:55Oh, all right.
06:56This is gonna be good.
06:57Mm-hmm.
06:58Did he write a letter again?
07:00Chuck Schumer went on social media.
07:01Oh.
07:02Oh.
07:02And he wrote,
07:03last night was not America's State of the Union.
07:06It was Trump's state of delusion.
07:09Oh, shit.
07:10Damn.
07:11The senator posted that the day after the State of the Union.
07:16Oh, he stayed up all night thinking about that.
07:17Yeah.
07:17What should I say?
07:18State of Union?
07:20Yeah.
07:20State of collusion?
07:21What else rhyme with unions?
07:24Mm-hmm.
07:24Now, what good news did the Democrats receive on Tuesday?
07:28Wait, there was good news?
07:30I missed it.
07:30And no one told me.
07:31While Trump was up there doing all his yelling about blood and helicopters and all of that,
07:35Democrats won a special election in Maine's 94th State House District, and Democrats won
07:42two special elections for the State House in Pennsylvania, keeping their majority there
07:47intact.
07:48How are Republicans preparing to make sure that that never happens again?
07:53Election fraud.
07:54It's not fraud if it's no election at all.
07:57You know what I mean?
07:58Oh.
07:58In his speech on Tuesday, Trump talked about exactly how they're going to do it.
08:04I'm asking you to approve the Save America Act.
08:08All voters must show proof of citizenship in order to vote.
08:15I love how J.D. Vance kept his glass covered the whole speech.
08:20Got that Cosby napkin on top of his shit.
08:24You know why, right?
08:26Pegs set's only like 15 feet away.
08:29Why is the Save America Act actually a real threat?
08:33Because when you get married, your name is different than the name you were given.
08:37Ooh.
08:38So then you're fucked.
08:40Yeah, the Save Act requires documents like birth certificates and passports to register
08:46to vote.
08:47But the hitch is, millions of Americans do not have access to either of those documents.
08:53And half of them don't even have a passport at all.
08:57Some of us do have library cards, which is a passport to adventure.
09:00That is not the same.
09:02They're basically setting up a dragnet of paperwork to make it eligible for you to vote.
09:07Are we really sure we want women to vote?
09:10Okay.
09:12Okay.
09:12I'm just asking questions.
09:14I'm just asking questions, guys.
09:15The Save Act has extra restrictions in place for women voters.
09:19Now, since women often change their names when they get married...
09:21And are feeble-minded.
09:22Yes.
09:23Heads too small.
09:24Yeah, that too.
09:25And there's a lot of uterus juice in there.
09:30Since women can often change their names because of marriage and the birth certificates no
09:34longer match their driver's licenses, which means they can't vote because their paperwork
09:39ain't right, Republicans claim women should bring in their marriage certificate, which
09:44is a thing that everybody just absolutely has, just laying around the house.
09:48Here's South Dakota Senator Mike Rounds.
09:51If you get married, you show them your marriage certificate and you're on your way once again.
09:56So, yeah, it's out there.
09:59It's a no-brainer.
10:00You're going to walk in like a paralegal, rolling like a thing of paperwork to register?
10:05Julia, if you're a woman and you've gotten married, if you want to vote because the names
10:10don't match, you go upstairs to the attic and you get your marriage certificate license
10:15and then you remember it's not there, so you drive to the storage spot where you put
10:18it because you didn't have a lot of space after the basement flooded and then you realize
10:22it's not there.
10:23And they actually auctioned your storage unit because the credit card had expired and you
10:27didn't know it.
10:27And you don't check that email account.
10:29And now you've got to figure out how to get a whole new marriage license.
10:33It's easy.
10:37I don't understand the complaining from this side of the...
10:41This side doesn't see the issue, I'll be honest.
10:44So, a lot of these things that Republicans do to kind of make sure elections go their way
10:50tend to backfire, like the redistricting, right?
10:53I'm thinking of the kinds of women who get married and change their name.
10:57Like, do they all vote Democrat or do a lot of them vote Republican?
11:02Hmm.
11:03I think what you're saying is...
11:05Because Democratic women are whores who don't get married and they just stay with
11:09their cats.
11:10Do you know what I mean?
11:12Ah.
11:14Now, why does the president claim we need all of these incredibly strict voting laws across
11:20all genders?
11:21Because the Republicans are about to get their asses handed to them in the midterms.
11:26One group that keeps a database of voter fraud crimes claims that they found fewer than 100
11:32cases of non-citizens voting between 2002 and 2022.
11:37So, that's about five people a year.
11:40That's not a big deal.
11:41Like, you eat five Legos a year, you'll live.
11:45The average American eats five Legos while they're asleep every night.
11:50As stringent as the voter ID requirements are, some conservatives are saying that even still,
11:56they want more.
11:57Watch as Fox Businesses' Maria Bartiromo takes a real left turn.
12:02How do we know that the driver's license is going to be adequate if you have heard stories
12:09that they're giving driver's licenses to illegals?
12:14Again, there's no evidence that non-citizens are voting in our elections, Maria.
12:17We have seen many cases, in fact, that illegals have, in fact, tried to vote.
12:23You even have illegals driving big trucks, and they can't even read the signs because
12:28they're in English.
12:29What did that sentence even mean?
12:33Michael and Bomani, watch the clip.
12:34Tell me, what is the story?
12:36Oh, I've heard about that guy.
12:37That's our friend, Jeffrey Epstein.
12:39What do you mean, our?
12:40Uh, he's getting arrested.
12:43Letter of resignation.
12:44Who is that?
12:44Oh, oh, oh.
12:45Now, that's that guy, Comer.
12:46Oh, and then Hillary Clinton.
12:48Let's go and get the polls together.
12:50Yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
12:51I think it's a story about all the people who have gotten in trouble because of Jeffrey
12:56Epstein, except for Donald Trump.
12:58The story is, everything with the Epstein case is still looming large over the corridors
13:02of power.
13:03Uh, Congress is finally getting around to taking depositions, and another influential man
13:10resigned from his job this week.
13:12Question, what powerful, influential man is stepping down this week?
13:18It's, uh, it's Larry Summers from Harvard.
13:20Oh, Larry.
13:21Yeah, Larry used to work at the bank.
13:22The CEO of the World Economic Forum, Borge Brende, stepped down this week, just a day after
13:29Harvard University announced that their former president, Larry Summers, is resigning over
13:34his friendship with Epstein.
13:37What other powerful man publicly apologized for associating with Epstein?
13:43Oh.
13:44Bill Gates.
13:46Gates?
13:46Oh.
13:47Yeah.
13:47Did you know?
13:48Yes.
13:49But only after you said it.
13:53Yes, it is Bill Gates who issued an apology.
13:57The old BGZ apologized to the staff of his charitable foundation for spending time with Epstein.
14:06Bill Gates also admitted to having affairs with two women, at least one of which Epstein
14:11reportedly found out about and tried to blackmail him over.
14:15I have to stop you right fast because I saw a headline that we went past.
14:18Did that say Russian bridge player?
14:20Yes.
14:21How old is she?
14:23Yes.
14:23Yes.
14:23Yes.
14:25Yes.
14:25Yes.
14:25Yes.
14:27Yes.
14:29Yes.
14:29Yes.
14:29Yes.
14:30Yes.
14:30Yes.
14:31Yes.
14:31Yes.
14:40Yes.
14:40Yes.
14:43He's the U.K.'s former ambassador to the U.S.
14:46has been arrested on suspicion of misconduct in public office.
14:49Does anybody remember what Peter Mandelson wrote
14:52in the Jeffrey Epstein birthday book?
14:55No, but I'm sure it was fine.
15:01Peter wrote a note referencing Jeffrey's, quote,
15:05glorious homes that he likes to share with his friends,
15:08parentheses, yum, yum.
15:13Now, he just said, yum, yum.
15:16But all I heard was.
15:21This was for his 50th birthday.
15:24I've got friends in their 50s, male friends.
15:27I can guarantee you I have never said yum, yum to one of them.
15:31Until now, Bomani.
15:35Yum, yum.
15:38So what part of the show is it where we change teams?
15:46Meanwhile, in America, there was some American accountability happening.
15:49Both Bill and Hillary Clinton gave closed-door depositions
15:53before the House Oversight Committee.
15:55It all went down at the Chappaqua Performing Arts Center,
15:58where next month you can also catch
16:00The Seven Wonders, a tribute to Fleetwood Mac.
16:04After denying the Clinton's request for an open hearing,
16:07here's what happened during Hillary's deposition.
16:10Clinton's testimony was briefly paused today
16:12when a conservative podcaster posted this photo of her online.
16:17The podcaster, Benny Johnson, said it was provided
16:19by Republican Congresswoman Lauren Boebert,
16:22despite rules that prevented photos inside that room.
16:25Honestly, if we're talking about Lauren Boebert and leaked photos,
16:29this is best-case scenario.
16:32The photo leak did derail the deposition for about half an hour.
16:36Here's Hillary on how her day went.
16:38I don't know how many times I had to say
16:40I did not know Jeffrey Hepstein.
16:42I never went to his island.
16:45I never went to his homes.
16:46I never went to his offices.
16:48I mean, the one thing I feel like we definitely knew
16:50was that Hillary was not invited to that island.
16:59While I myself would not want to go to that island,
17:02imagine for a second you were going to that island
17:04looking for a good time,
17:06and then Hillary Clinton pulls up.
17:08Everybody, go home.
17:10Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, get dressed.
17:12Get dressed.
17:12Yeah, but there are a lot of headlines coming out of Chapitra.
17:15The real headline coming out of Chapitra is
17:17Echoes of the Eagles coming this April
17:19to the Chapitra Hall of Rock Center.
17:22The number one Eagles tribute for vocal harmonies.
17:26Do they even need to talk to the Clintons at all?
17:28Oh, I know.
17:30Do you remember when Hillary Clinton
17:32was the first lady of Arkansas?
17:34Okay.
17:35And she was Hillary Rodham.
17:37Okay.
17:37And Republicans were like,
17:39that is unacceptable for you to not have
17:41a different last name than your husband.
17:44So then they put all this pressure on her
17:46and she changed her name to Hillary Rodham Clinton.
17:49So maybe this is all about
17:51just not letting Hillary vote.
17:53Let's see where you can stop.
17:54I saw it.
17:55You landed the plane.
17:56That uterus juice.
18:10Welcome back.
18:12It's time for the Offender Meter.
18:14Teams have to tell us who's the offender,
18:16what they did,
18:17and who they offended.
18:18Let's have some fun.
18:19Show me an offender, please.
18:24This is Kash Patel.
18:27Yes.
18:27His left eye offended his right eye
18:29by staring at him.
18:32Yes, indeed.
18:34Have you ever seen a dog
18:35when the can opened and...
18:39Food?
18:40Yes, that is FBI Director Kash Patel.
18:43Who did he offend this week?
18:45He took a private jet.
18:48Oh, points.
18:49Yeah, I give you that.
18:50I give you that.
18:51I was on this show a year ago
18:53and we talked about the same exact thing.
18:55Because he's still taking the jet.
18:57He sure is.
18:57You can't go back to taking commercial.
19:00Now, first and foremost,
19:03Kash Patel offended
19:04former FBI Director Christopher Wray
19:06by saying this on a podcast two years ago.
19:10I'm just saying Chris Wray
19:11doesn't need a government-funded G5 jet
19:13to go to vacation.
19:14Maybe we ground that plane.
19:16$15,000 every time it takes off.
19:20Now, why is it weird that Kash Patel
19:23would criticize an FBI Director
19:25for using a private jet?
19:27Because he does that shit all the time.
19:30Points.
19:33Yes, Kash Patel is under fire once again
19:36for his use of a private plane.
19:38This time, Kash went to Italy
19:39and caught some of the Olympic Games.
19:42Here he is in the locker room
19:43with the U.S. men's hockey team.
19:45Now, before we show you this clip,
19:46I want you to know
19:47Kash Patel played zero minutes
19:49in this game.
19:53But here he is celebrating
19:54their gold medal win.
20:10I want to know who the sucker is
20:12that gave him the gold medal.
20:14Like, I would personally believe
20:16that you have worked
20:17a little bit too hard
20:18to let, you know,
20:19cosplay with you.
20:22How did you refer to Kash Patel?
20:27It's like that
20:28Naughty By Nature song came on.
20:32Here's what I've learned, man.
20:34We've deemed a lot of things
20:35to be offensive.
20:37Laughing at people being cross-eyed,
20:39still in style.
20:41Never going away.
20:43Now, question for the panel.
20:44How much money did Kash Patel's
20:47Euro trip cost
20:48the United States taxpayers?
20:49Seven million dollars.
20:51Laughing.
20:53Estimates put the cost
20:54of Patel's trip
20:55at likely as much
20:56as $75,000.
20:59Aw, that's fine.
21:02Now, this all might sound
21:03very trivial,
21:04but this week saw
21:04even more revelations
21:05about Patel
21:06and his plane usage.
21:07What came out this week
21:09about Kash
21:09and government jets?
21:11He lives in one.
21:14According to a whistleblower
21:15who came forward
21:16to Congress,
21:17Kash has been using
21:18FBI jets,
21:19and his usage of FBI jets
21:21for all these random things
21:22has interfered
21:23with the whole
21:24solving crime stuff
21:26that you're supposed
21:27to do with the FBI.
21:28One FBI team assigned
21:29to the investigation
21:30of the shooting
21:31of Charlie Kurt
21:33had their deployment
21:34delayed by at least a day.
21:37I heard
21:40that he...
21:41Remember when there was
21:42a shooting
21:42at Brown University?
21:44Oh, yeah.
21:44They couldn't get
21:45the special FBI agents
21:47up there fast enough
21:48because Kash Patel
21:49was using the plane for fun.
21:51Oh, y'all are on it today.
21:52And that's not all.
21:54The FBI response team
21:56was delayed
21:56in responding
21:57to December's mass shooting
21:59at Brown University
22:00because there was
22:01no available plane
22:02for them to take.
22:04Director Kash Patel
22:05was in Florida
22:06with one of those jets.
22:07I'm just wondering,
22:08like, is there not
22:08a regular flight
22:09they could get?
22:09Well, yeah,
22:10I had that same question, too.
22:12Like, you need
22:12a private plane
22:13to fight crime.
22:14I'm gonna need the hands.
22:15I'm gonna need the hands.
22:17Please.
22:17I was trying not to do it,
22:19you know what I mean?
22:20But it's five minutes
22:21till three,
22:22you know what I'm saying?
22:23And I'm just like,
22:24do you need a private plane
22:25to fight crime
22:26is all I'm asking.
22:28It's five minutes
22:29till three.
22:30Oh, my God.
22:33So Kash Patel
22:34was holding
22:35one FBI plane
22:36and using another one
22:38in South Florida.
22:39Question to the panel,
22:40what was Kash Patel
22:41doing in South Florida
22:43in the first damn place?
22:45Visiting his mama.
22:47Chugging beers?
22:48Chugging beers
22:49with his mama.
22:52And you know what time
22:53they were supposed
22:53to get together?
22:56I'm not looking.
22:58Oh, boy.
23:00An FBI official
23:01said Kash Patel
23:02was using the jet
23:03to visit his elderly parents.
23:06You're not allowed
23:07to awe Kash Patel.
23:10What the hell
23:10is the matter
23:11with you people?
23:12Wait, so then
23:13couldn't he have
23:14just taken a regular flight?
23:15Same way?
23:16No, he had to get there
23:18by 2.55.
23:22And there were
23:23no more flights.
23:25Let's see your offender.
23:26Who is this offender?
23:28He's some guy going,
23:29eh.
23:31That is Anthropic CEO
23:33Dario Amade
23:34seen here telling Honey
23:36that he did, in fact,
23:37shrink the kids.
23:39Who did Dario offend?
23:42The Pentagon.
23:43Pete Hegseth.
23:44Pete Hegseth.
23:45Ooh, double points.
23:46Yes, Dario offended
23:47former Fox Weekend anchor
23:49and current
23:50Every Other Weekend
23:51father,
23:52Secretary of War
23:53Pete Hegseth.
23:55How did Dario offend?
23:57This is one of those stories
23:59where we're on the side
24:00of AI for some reason.
24:02Yeah, he was like,
24:03you wildin' right now, y'all.
24:04This is going way too far.
24:07The man who has AI.
24:08So the Pentagon
24:10wants to have
24:11Anthropic's AI
24:13to be able to do
24:15all lawful orders.
24:17And Anthropic
24:18is saying,
24:20if we allow you
24:21to do that
24:22and then you decide,
24:23Pentagon,
24:24that we can have
24:25autonomous robots
24:26just blowing people
24:27up everywhere,
24:27we'd rather our AI
24:29was not used
24:30for that purpose.
24:31And the Pentagon said,
24:33go fuck yourself.
24:34Yeah.
24:35But what old buddy
24:36doesn't realize is
24:37if the AI decides
24:38actually the Pentagon's
24:40idea is better,
24:41it's still gonna do
24:41that shit.
24:43Yes,
24:44Dario offended Pete
24:45by asking for guardrails
24:47around the Pentagon's
24:48use of his company's
24:50artificial intelligence.
24:51Here's what went down
24:52earlier this week.
24:53Anthropic was awarded
24:54a $200 million
24:55defense contract
24:56last summer
24:57in a meeting
24:57with the Pentagon Tuesday.
24:59Defense Secretary
25:00Pete Hegseth
25:00gave CEO
25:01Dario Amade
25:02until the end
25:03of the week
25:03to sign a document
25:05ensuring the military
25:06would have full access
25:07to the company's AI model.
25:08Yeah, so Anthropic,
25:10they have a government
25:10contract,
25:11the government
25:11contract's in place
25:12and now Hexf wants
25:13full access
25:15to the product
25:16and we all agree
25:17that is not a good idea
25:18because we've all seen
25:20Terminator 2.
25:23Can we pull up
25:24that picture again?
25:24Because this is like
25:25a billion dollar company.
25:27Their logo
25:28is a butthole.
25:33Now, Anthropic
25:34isn't so sure
25:35about whether or not
25:36the Pentagon should have
25:37complete all access
25:38to their AI question.
25:40What was the disagreement
25:41about between Anthropic
25:42and the Pentagon?
25:44They have like this whole
25:45will they, won't they?
25:50That's exactly what it is.
25:51We don't know
25:52if the Pentagon's
25:52going to do
25:53what they say
25:53they're going to do
25:54with the technology
25:55once we get it to them.
25:56Oh, great.
25:57Then that's how I meant that.
25:58I know.
26:00Here's the main
26:01sticking point on the issue.
26:02The areas that Anthropic
26:03says it doesn't want
26:04the military using its model
26:06are for mass surveillance
26:07of Americans
26:08and fully autonomous weapons.
26:10Exactly.
26:10You don't want
26:11autonomous weapons?
26:12Guns don't kill people.
26:13Well, now guns
26:14will be the thing
26:16killing the people.
26:17Hold on.
26:18There might be a bright side.
26:19They did a study
26:20with this Anthropic stuff
26:22with Claude
26:22and they told Claude
26:24that they were going
26:24to shut Claude down
26:25and they ran a bunch
26:26of simulations
26:27and 84% of the time
26:28Claude's response
26:29was to blackmail
26:31the company
26:32so that the company
26:33could not shut Claude down.
26:34I'm just saying
26:36Claude might save us all.
26:38Yeah, Headset was pushing
26:39to remove restrictions
26:41on fully autonomous
26:42weapons systems
26:43and that's probably
26:44going to be a bad idea
26:45because it all came
26:46to a head on Thursday
26:47when Anthropic
26:47finally rejected
26:49the Pentagon's terms
26:50for lethal use
26:51of their chatbot.
26:52Let's just take it
26:53around the horn.
26:54Do we want
26:54artificial intelligence
26:56in our military?
26:57Hey, let him finish.
26:59Sorry.
26:59Roy, go ahead.
27:00Do you want
27:01artificial intelligence
27:02in your military?
27:05And maybe one reason
27:07why a lot of people
27:08feel like that
27:09is because AI
27:10can't stop recommending
27:12nuclear strikes
27:13in war game simulations.
27:16A researcher
27:17at King's College
27:18in London
27:18found that AI models
27:19from OpenAI Anthropic
27:21and Google
27:22opted to use nuclear weapons
27:24in simulated war games
27:25in 95% of the cases.
27:29Okay, but why don't we say
27:30only 95%?
27:33There's still 5%
27:34where everything's fine.
27:35Okay.
27:36What do you think
27:37AI expert Donald Trump
27:39had to say
27:40about the whole
27:40Hex-Saf-Dario...
27:42That he's been
27:42fully exonerated.
27:46He's like,
27:47I want to meet
27:47this Claude guy
27:48everybody's talking about.
27:50On Friday,
27:51Trump posted,
27:52quote,
27:52we will decide
27:54the fate of our country.
27:55not some
27:56out-of-control
27:57radical-left
27:58AI company
27:59run by people
27:59who have no idea
28:01what the real world
28:02is all about.
28:03That was
28:04Offend-O-Meter.
28:14Welcome back.
28:15It's time for
28:16Lie Curious.
28:18I give you three
28:19biographical details
28:20about a public figure,
28:21but only one is true.
28:22You have to get to
28:23which is true
28:24and which are
28:24despicable lies.
28:26Time for three facts
28:27about United States
28:29Special Envoy
28:30to the Middle East
28:30and Wolf Blitzer
28:32before a full moon,
28:35Steve Whitcoff.
28:36Our facts about Steve are
28:37he befriended Trump
28:39at a deli
28:40at 3 a.m.
28:40in 1986.
28:42He has a weekly meal
28:43called Tortellini Tuesday.
28:45He was the executive producer
28:47of the UPN sitcom
28:48Shasta McNasty.
28:50Which one is the truth?
28:52I'm rooting for three.
28:53We're going with
28:53Shasta McNasty.
28:54What with the premise
28:55of the sitcom
28:56Shasta McNasty?
28:57You don't remember?
28:58I just remember
28:59it existed
28:59and I knew
29:00when I saw the title
29:01I wasn't going to watch it.
29:03Team Amber?
29:04Number three,
29:05it can't be real
29:06because of the way
29:08Roy acted.
29:09So it has to be one.
29:10What do you mean
29:11it can't be real?
29:12It can't be real.
29:13Roy didn't know
29:13what it was.
29:15So it doesn't exist.
29:16So we're not about
29:17to show a clip of it.
29:19I know everything.
29:21It's number one.
29:22Do you know the real answer?
29:23I do.
29:23Is it number one?
29:24Yes.
29:25It's number one.
29:27Steve Wyckoff
29:28befriended Donald Trump
29:30in a deli
29:30at 3 a.m.
29:32in 1986.
29:34Does anyone know
29:35what favor Steve Wyckoff
29:36did for Trump
29:37when they met
29:38at the deli?
29:39Ooh, I don't even
29:39want to think of that.
29:40He let him borrow
29:42some money.
29:42To do what?
29:43To buy his food.
29:45Points!
29:49Steve Wyckoff
29:50bought Trump
29:51a sandwich.
29:52I'll be damned.
29:54The story came to light
29:54when Wyckoff testified
29:55in one of Trump's
29:56fraud trials,
29:57telling the court,
29:58quote,
29:58I ordered him
29:59a ham and Swiss
30:00because Trump
30:00didn't have any cash
30:01on him at the time,
30:02and now they're friends.
30:04How long was Trump
30:05sitting in that deli
30:06waiting for somebody
30:07to come along?
30:08This week,
30:08Steve Wyckoff
30:09was accompanied
30:10by evil Pee-wee Herman,
30:11Jared Kushner,
30:12in Geneva
30:13for some diplomatic
30:14talks with Iran.
30:15Things are tense
30:16with Iran right now,
30:17and Trump's been
30:17ramping up military
30:18presence in the region.
30:20And last weekend,
30:21Special Envoy Wyckoff
30:22told Fox News
30:23that Iran is only
30:24a week away
30:25from developing
30:27nuclear bomb-making materials.
30:30Question,
30:30what makes that announcement
30:32so surprising?
30:34Well, we obliterated it.
30:36Yeah, we obliterated
30:37their nuclear program,
30:39friends forever,
30:40we obliterated
30:41their nuclear program
30:42according to
30:43the Trump administration.
30:45Said it back
30:45by decades,
30:46if not centuries.
30:48And that was in June.
30:49Eight months ago,
30:50the White House
30:50issued a press release
30:51with the title,
30:52Iran's nuclear facilities
30:53have been obliterated
30:55and suggestions otherwise
30:57are fake news.
31:00So when you're one week out
31:02from having a nuclear program,
31:04what is there left
31:05to do in that last week?
31:06The last part
31:07of the nuclear program
31:08in developing your warheads,
31:10this just put the stickers
31:10on the missiles.
31:11Oh, okay.
31:13Big flame,
31:14so it looks like
31:15it's going fast.
31:17Time for three facts.
31:18About Nicki Minaj.
31:20Yay.
31:21Yes.
31:22Scene here thinking
31:23about the Kid Rock duet
31:25she's going to have
31:26to do pretty soon.
31:28Our facts about
31:29Nicki Minaj are
31:30she has a stand shrine
31:32to Russell Crowe.
31:33She used to sell
31:34fire extinguishers.
31:36She's allergic
31:37to her own perfume line.
31:39Team Amber.
31:40She has a stand shrine
31:42to Russell Crowe.
31:43That I think
31:43might be true.
31:44You don't think
31:45number two would be like,
31:46oh, I had this
31:46hardscrabble youth
31:48and I instead of selling
31:50fire extinguishers.
31:50Well, some people
31:51sell candy on the subway
31:52and some people
31:53sell fire extinguishers.
31:54You're saying
31:54she will on the subway
31:57have fire extinguishers.
31:59I'm just saying
31:59she needed money
32:00for her basketball team.
32:01It's like,
32:02what time is it?
32:02It's showtime.
32:03Who wants
32:04a fire extinguisher?
32:06I want to see
32:06the person that's like,
32:07hey, hey,
32:08in fact,
32:08let me get two.
32:09You want a red
32:10or a white one?
32:11Give me two reds
32:11and you can get one white.
32:12I'm going with number three
32:14because of her dedication
32:15to alienating anybody
32:16that would want
32:17to like her
32:18in the first place.
32:19Nicki Minaj
32:20sold fire.
32:22Oh, my God.
32:23Let me solve her.
32:24Is there a fire
32:26extinguisher store
32:26you go to?
32:28Yeah, great.
32:28Like, where you ring it up
32:29and you're like,
32:29oh, who helped you
32:30with these fire extinguishers?
32:32Nicki over there.
32:33She was wonderful.
32:35This has been
32:36Lycurious.
32:37More after the break.
32:48Welcome back.
32:49It's time for
32:49Missing Words.
32:51Here's your headline.
32:53Arizona clerk sued
32:54for trying to blank.
32:56Dang, look at the size of that.
32:57Redact the Epstein files.
32:59Apparently,
33:00quite a few things.
33:01Arizona store clerk sued
33:02for trying to cash in
33:04$12.8 million lottery ticket
33:06left behind
33:07by a customer.
33:08Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
33:09What?
33:09You can sue for that?
33:11You find it.
33:12It's yours.
33:12You left it.
33:13Yeah.
33:13No, but there's nuance
33:14to the story
33:15because the clerk
33:15is being sued
33:16by his employer,
33:18Circle K.
33:19He tried to cash in
33:20the winning lottery ticket
33:21that somebody else
33:22was supposed to buy,
33:23but they left the ticket
33:24because they didn't
33:24have enough money.
33:25Here's how authorities
33:26say it all went down.
33:27The cashier printed
33:28$85 worth of tickets.
33:30The customer paid
33:31for $60 worth
33:32and left.
33:33The remaining tickets
33:34sat on the counter.
33:35The next morning,
33:36store manager Robert Galitza
33:38came in to start his shift.
33:39He quickly learned
33:40a winning ticket
33:41had been printed
33:41at his store
33:42the night before.
33:43He clocked out,
33:44took off his Circle K uniform
33:45and walked back in
33:47as a customer,
33:48paying $10
33:48for the remaining tickets,
33:50including the one
33:51he already knew
33:51was worth nearly $13 million.
33:54Okay,
33:55that sort of ingenuity
33:56is the reason
33:57America's so great.
33:58That's how we got here.
34:01You think it's brilliant
34:02to just take your shirt off
34:04and come back in?
34:04Oh,
34:05I am customer.
34:07I have on glasses
34:08and mustache.
34:08It was worth a try.
34:09I love that he thought
34:10of it immediately.
34:11He had to try something.
34:13You're holding
34:13millions of dollars
34:15in your hand.
34:15He paid for them.
34:16Those tickets
34:17weren't paid for.
34:18He paid for those tickets.
34:20He paid for them.
34:21I think he's trying.
34:22He paid for them
34:23the day after
34:24the drawing
34:25had already been done.
34:26He paid for them.
34:27So the fuck what?
34:27He paid for them.
34:28He should have got
34:29a discount on them.
34:30They was old.
34:35So Circle K
34:37is suing the manager
34:38that bought the ticket
34:39because according
34:40to state rep
34:40Jeff Winogar,
34:42the administrative rules
34:43say that if the store
34:44overprints tickets,
34:45the store owns
34:46those tickets.
34:47Circle K
34:48might have just won
34:50$12.8 million.
34:53He paid for those tickets.
34:55The next day,
34:56the whole point
34:56of the lottery
34:57is to bet.
34:58You're supposed
34:58to risk your $25
35:00before the drawing
35:01and then they have
35:02the drawing
35:02and then you sit
35:03there nervous
35:04and your wife Tammy
35:04comes in and go,
35:05baby, you promised
35:06to stop gambling.
35:07You go, get out of here.
35:09And then you win
35:10and then you leave
35:11your wife.
35:12You have to risk something.
35:14He risked nothing.
35:17Here's your headline.
35:18Authorities accused
35:19man of blank
35:20after uncovering
35:21shocking security footage.
35:23Authorities accused
35:24man of going
35:25to Beetlejuice
35:26and sitting next
35:27to Lauren Boebert
35:28after uncovering
35:30shocking security footage.
35:31Authorities accused
35:32man of training
35:33a dog to illegally
35:34dump his trash
35:35after uncovering
35:36shocking security footage.
35:38Shocking security footage?
35:40Adorable security footage?
35:42Authorities in Sicily
35:43say they suspected
35:44a man had trained
35:45his dog to illegally
35:46dump garbage bags
35:47on the side of the road
35:48after seeing
35:49security footage
35:50of the dog
35:51doing the same thing
35:53two or three days
35:54in a row.
35:54Let's take a look
35:55at the evidence.
35:56Here's the dog
35:56on the first night
35:57with the garbage bags.
36:02So you can say
36:03that's one night.
36:04That's an anomaly, right?
36:05But then here's
36:06the police
36:07watching video
36:08of that same dog
36:09the next night.
36:13That dog doesn't have
36:14the same spring
36:15in his step
36:16as he did in the movie.
36:17So he's starting
36:18to realize,
36:19oh, shit.
36:20Like, this is...
36:21this is gonna be
36:21every night, isn't it?
36:22He's a bit old.
36:24In a Facebook post,
36:25the police called
36:25the video, quote,
36:26a scene that leaves
36:27little room for doubt.
36:29But this wasn't
36:30the only big trash news
36:32this week.
36:33Does anyone know
36:33what surprise
36:34an Ohio sanitation worker
36:36got this week
36:37when he opened up
36:38the trash bin?
36:39It better not be a baby.
36:41I'm sick of those stories.
36:42No, this is not sand.
36:43Oh, then it's a foot.
36:50Here's Chicago's
36:51ABC7 with the answer.
36:53An unsuspecting
36:54sanitation worker
36:55got quite the scare
36:56when they popped
36:57the top on a bin,
36:58not finding trash,
36:59but a person
37:00wedged inside
37:01who, upon spotting police,
37:03quickly bolted
37:03and was later arrested.
37:05Police posting online
37:06saying,
37:07as luck would have it,
37:08Oscar the Grouch,
37:09as we've nicknamed
37:09our suspect,
37:10appeared at just
37:11the right place
37:11and the right time.
37:12I feel like the cop
37:14was already looking
37:15for the suspect,
37:16like it was already
37:16a foot chase
37:17and he was hiding
37:18in the bin
37:18and then the trash truck
37:20came and now
37:20you gotta choose
37:21between being compacted
37:23or going to jail.
37:25Yeah.
37:26Whatever he did,
37:26he did that shit.
37:28That's missing words.
37:30More after the break.
37:37Welcome back.
37:38It's time for
37:39Witch's Hire.
37:40Teams,
37:41I will give you
37:41two unrelated numbers
37:42from the news.
37:43You tell me
37:44which is higher.
37:45The amount
37:46director Peter Jackson
37:48paid to de-extinct
37:49the New Zealand moa,
37:51a giant bird
37:52that went extinct
37:52600 years ago,
37:54or the record-breaking
37:55amount influencer
37:56Logan Paul
37:57just sold his
37:58ultra-rare
37:59Pokemon Illustrator card
38:01for at auction.
38:02You can un-extinct
38:04something?
38:04And that's what he chose?
38:06You don't know
38:06how that bird tastes.
38:07That New Zealand moa
38:09might be some good wings
38:10on that one.
38:11Now, I feel like
38:12I read an article
38:13about this Logan Paul
38:14Pokemon thing.
38:15He bought it
38:15for like 5 million,
38:17then he turned around
38:18and sold it
38:18for a fortune.
38:19Now, no one
38:20has ever needed
38:21anything less
38:22than people need
38:23these two things.
38:25I hope they both
38:27cost 80 million dollars.
38:28The amount
38:29Peter Jackson paid
38:31to de-extinct
38:32the New Zealand moa
38:33is 15 million dollars,
38:35and the amount
38:36that Logan Paul
38:37just sold his
38:38ultra-rare
38:39Pokemon card for
38:40is approximately
38:4116.5 million dollars.
38:44So the Pokemon card
38:46is higher.
38:48Everywhere you go,
38:49someone's gonna be like,
38:50look at that emu,
38:51and you have to go,
38:52it's not an emu.
38:53It's actually
38:54special and expensive.
38:56In order to bring back
38:57the New Zealand moa,
38:59Peter Jackson
38:59has partnered
39:00with Colossal Biosciences,
39:02a genetic engineering company
39:04that's also trying
39:04to bring back
39:05other animals
39:06from back in the day,
39:07like the woolly mammoth,
39:08the dire wolf,
39:10the Tasmanian tiger,
39:12and the dodo bird.
39:13The bird that was
39:14so dumb it died?
39:15Yeah.
39:16Meanwhile,
39:17Logan Paul's
39:17rare Pikachu
39:18illustrator card
39:19was purchased
39:20for $16,400,000.
39:23and $92,000
39:24by an avid collector
39:26who has a connection
39:27to this very show.
39:28Uh, panel,
39:30which child
39:31of a former guest
39:32on Have I Got News For You
39:34bought the card?
39:36I really don't feel like
39:38Gritty was ever a guest
39:40on Have I Got News For You.
39:42Well, who's the richest person?
39:43The card was bought
39:44by A.J. Scaramucci,
39:47son of Anthony Scaramucci.
39:49Oh, the Mooch.
39:50But it turns out
39:51his plan of buying
39:52the Pokemon card
39:53is part of a larger plan.
39:55Uh, here's the young Mooch Jr.
39:58Uh, explaining
39:58why he bought the card.
40:00The real story
40:01is I'm on a
40:03planetary treasure hunt
40:04right now.
40:05And I'm on a quest.
40:07What?
40:07To buy
40:08a T-Rex
40:09dinosaur fossil
40:11that's on my list.
40:12What?
40:13I'm gonna buy
40:13the Declaration of Independence,
40:15maybe from you.
40:16Yep.
40:16We'll find out.
40:16Bro, this is crazy.
40:19Yes, everything in that clip
40:20was brought to you
40:21by Ketamine.
40:23That was Witches Hire.
40:28Time for a game
40:30called Who's That Baby?
40:32I'll show you
40:33a famous person's
40:34baby picture
40:34and you tell me
40:35who's that baby.
40:38Let's see the baby.
40:40This baby has
40:41a black belt in judo.
40:42Okay.
40:43They won their last election
40:44in a landslide.
40:45Oh.
40:47And they're a former
40:48KGB officer
40:49who invaded Ukraine.
40:50Okay.
40:51I'm gonna just
40:52throw it out there
40:53that it might be Putin.
40:55Great guest.
40:56That's my teammate
40:56right there.
40:57That's a great guest,
40:58Bomani.
40:58That baby is
40:59Vladimir Putin.
41:01Julia,
41:02as someone who spent
41:03a lot of time
41:04in Russia growing up,
41:05do all the school day
41:06pictures look like that?
41:08That is your school day
41:09picture growing up
41:10in Russia?
41:11So, like,
41:11there is no specific
41:13job for, like,
41:14baby photographers,
41:15child photographers.
41:16They just tell the kid,
41:17there is no Santa,
41:19and then they take
41:19the picture.
41:21Merry Christmas.
41:22That was
41:23Who's That Baby?
41:24I want to thank
41:24our guests,
41:25Julia Yaffe
41:26and Bomani John.
41:27And, of course,
41:28thank you to our team,
41:29Captains Amber Ruffin
41:30and Michael Ian Black.
41:33Before we sign off,
41:34here are a few more stories
41:36we are watching this week.
41:38New York boy wins
41:39Pizza Hut
41:40Book It Challenge.
41:45Everybody at work
41:46knows you're high.
41:52I'm Roy Wood Jr.
41:53and I'll see you next week
41:54for another episode
41:55of Have I Got News For You.
41:56And I did not agree
41:57for this deposition
41:58to be filmed.
42:00Good night.
42:00Have I Got News For You.
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