- 7 hours ago
Half Man S01e05 1 H 264
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Captions by GetTranscribed.com
00:00:23Hi, he's my brother.
00:00:28Right here.
00:00:30Niall.
00:00:32Oh, here he comes. Look at this.
00:00:34You're going for a dance, are you?
00:00:40Why are you here?
00:00:43Nice to see you too, Bambi.
00:00:44Don't fucking call me that!
00:00:47Why are you here?
00:00:53Not like this.
00:00:55Just go somewhere private.
00:00:58You're fine.
00:01:00I want you to go somewhere.
00:01:03I do.
00:01:05Thanks.
00:01:05Here we go.
00:01:38So, it's definite.
00:01:40Yes, madam, all looking good here.
00:01:43But that can't be.
00:01:45I mean, I've been told I can't get pregnant.
00:01:47I've been told it would never happen.
00:01:48Well, I've been doing this for 20 years,
00:01:50and I can safely say you are.
00:01:53Around nine weeks, to be precise.
00:02:00So, do you guys have any questions?
00:02:04Yeah, I mean, what happens now?
00:02:06Well, I think you need to start planning.
00:02:08This is a geriatric pregnancy,
00:02:10and you need to limit anything which causes stress in your life.
00:02:13Jesus, now you're going to have to move out, then.
00:02:15Hmm.
00:02:17And that machine's trustworthy, is it?
00:02:20Excuse me?
00:02:21Well, it's just to hear stories, don't you?
00:02:23You know, people get scanned,
00:02:24and there's actually been nothing in there at all.
00:02:25Like a phantom pregnancy, I think it's called,
00:02:28something which isn't there, but its presence is felt.
00:02:31Who's felt?
00:02:32I'll have a phantom relationship if you keep talking.
00:02:35No, rest assured, Mr. Kennedy, this is very real.
00:02:39And something you need to plan for,
00:02:42regardless of what you decide to do.
00:02:45I'll leave you guys to chat.
00:02:50It's bad luck, at least.
00:02:52We have sex like once in six months, and I get pregnant.
00:02:56Just think about it now.
00:02:57All the crying, and screaming, and mood swings.
00:03:01And then there's the baby to think about.
00:03:09You can be honest with me, you know.
00:03:13About what?
00:03:14About whether you want this.
00:03:17Go on. Free pass. No judgment.
00:03:20God, I don't know.
00:03:22I mean...
00:03:23Are you saying you want to do it?
00:03:25I think so.
00:03:27I'm 42.
00:03:29I've been told I could never have kids.
00:03:31This genuinely might be my last chance to be unhappy.
00:03:37But hey, Niall.
00:03:38Silver linings.
00:03:40At least it's a short commute to work for me today.
00:03:43I'll see you later on.
00:03:51Oh, wait.
00:03:51Are you still on for dinner with Reuben and Mona later?
00:03:54That's today, is it?
00:03:55Christ.
00:03:56They're not going to be all over each other again like last time, are they?
00:03:59No, I don't think so.
00:04:01I've spoken to them about that.
00:04:03Then fine, I'll be there.
00:04:05Bye, Niall.
00:04:06Or should I say...
00:04:08Daddy?
00:04:21You're fucking gorgeous, aren't you?
00:04:24Mm-hmm.
00:04:25Mm-hmm.
00:04:25This neck.
00:04:25I could fucking eat this neck.
00:04:27Just be a fucking head.
00:04:28And some shoulders.
00:04:31Mm-hmm.
00:04:34Mm-hmm.
00:04:36Mm-hmm.
00:04:36Mm-hmm.
00:04:38Mm-hmm.
00:04:38Mm-hmm.
00:04:38Mm-hmm.
00:04:39What were you saying?
00:04:41Well, I was just talking about Greece
00:04:42potentially heading out the Eurozone
00:04:43and going back to the drachma.
00:04:46Right, yeah.
00:04:48Shite.
00:04:49Look, should we call it here?
00:04:50It's getting dark soon.
00:04:52Hey, you know, we haven't asked Niall
00:04:53about his new book yet.
00:04:54Oh, fuck me.
00:04:55Yeah, let's call it here, Reuben.
00:04:56I'll load you guys a taxi.
00:04:58Go ahead, Niall, I'm listening.
00:04:59What's this one about?
00:05:00Well, it's a semi-autobiographical story
00:05:03about a young boy.
00:05:04Good Lord, he's starting.
00:05:05Hurry up, Reuben.
00:05:06I'm texting as quick as I can, don't worry.
00:05:08Yeah, brilliant.
00:05:09Oh, stop.
00:05:10We're just having banter.
00:05:12You know, one day I'll have a partner
00:05:13that respects me.
00:05:14Wow.
00:05:15Can't wait to meet her.
00:05:17Fucking love this girl.
00:05:22Right, Triber says he's five minutes away.
00:05:25I'll walk you out.
00:05:30Can you believe it?
00:05:32Drinking fucking wine out the garden
00:05:33like a couple of posh guns.
00:05:35Well, where you've come from?
00:05:36Fuck me.
00:05:37I don't know.
00:05:38Oh, man, look.
00:05:39I know I joke, but I just wanted to say,
00:05:41proud of you.
00:05:43I remember when we met back up,
00:05:45you were fucking rock bottom, man.
00:05:46Now look at you.
00:05:47Good girl.
00:05:48Nice house.
00:05:49New book.
00:05:50Massive cock.
00:05:51That's always a constant.
00:05:55When do you think you'll be done by?
00:05:57With the writing?
00:05:58Oh, not long, I wouldn't say it.
00:06:00It's the final push.
00:06:02Just figuring out the ending.
00:06:04Oh, yeah.
00:06:05Well, the book's going to need an ending, isn't it?
00:06:10Why do you ask?
00:06:13Well, look, I, um...
00:06:15I hate to do this, but, um...
00:06:18I'm going to need that money back I'll lend you.
00:06:22What, all of it?
00:06:23Yeah, fucking all of it.
00:06:24Jesus, Reuben, it's 30 grand.
00:06:26Can't we just wait six months until the launch bonus comes through?
00:06:28No chance.
00:06:29Just write the ending and get the book done.
00:06:31Any ending will do.
00:06:32Oh, come on, Reuben.
00:06:34I mean, that'd be compromised my artistic integrity.
00:06:36You'll feel a lot better about it when I'm compromising your health.
00:06:44Okay, that was harsh.
00:06:45Don't need to apologize.
00:06:46I didn't.
00:06:56Look, can we chat about this another time?
00:06:58I don't want to even to you.
00:06:59How?
00:07:00She knows you owe me this money.
00:07:02Yeah, it's just...
00:07:03She thinks I paid you back already.
00:07:06But you didn't pay me back.
00:07:08And all.
00:07:11Fuck me.
00:07:12You stole 30k from your girlfriend.
00:07:14Stole it from her dad.
00:07:15Still, that's fucking insane.
00:07:17What enough did you spend it on?
00:07:19It doesn't matter.
00:07:20It's nothing important.
00:07:21Well, clearly more important than paying me back.
00:07:25Are you seriously telling me you had my money?
00:07:28And kept it all for yourself?
00:07:31Yeah.
00:07:34I'm sorry.
00:07:37You shouldn't have told me that now.
00:07:40You really shouldn't have told me that.
00:08:01It's just weird.
00:08:02He earns 100 grand a year.
00:08:04What does he need it for?
00:08:05I don't know, Niall.
00:08:06Why don't you tell me your theory
00:08:08so I can use it to point out your character flaws?
00:08:10He's fucking with me.
00:08:12Brilliant.
00:08:13To get me back for prison
00:08:14by asking it back at a pivotal career moment.
00:08:16Oh, please.
00:08:17He gets you back for screwing him over
00:08:19by giving you the equivalent of a semi-detached.
00:08:21I didn't screw him over.
00:08:22We've been through this.
00:08:23We screwed each other over.
00:08:25That's what we settled on.
00:08:26Still pretty long, arduous, expensive fucking with you, isn't it?
00:08:30Lending you money and knowing he will never get it back.
00:08:33When breaking your fingers is so cheap.
00:08:35Yeah, I'm telling you, this is what he does.
00:08:37Niall, he's done more for you than anyone these past few years.
00:08:40He kept you going financially
00:08:42after you practically cleared me out of house and home,
00:08:44you're nonsense.
00:08:47I think your problem is
00:08:48you still think of him
00:08:49as the boy you grew up with.
00:08:52Just talk to him.
00:08:54Take him somewhere he enjoys.
00:08:55Catch him at a good moment.
00:08:56He'll be fine.
00:08:58He'll wait another six months.
00:09:00I promise you.
00:09:03He's big and fluffy underneath it all, really.
00:09:11Motherfucker!
00:09:12I just find it fucking ridiculous.
00:09:13Get this.
00:09:15Mona said last night
00:09:16she wants to start teaching dance classes.
00:09:17Have you ever heard of anything so fucking stupid?
00:09:21I asked her what she'd get from it.
00:09:23Know what she said?
00:09:25Self-empowerment.
00:09:26It's pathetic.
00:09:27She's my wife.
00:09:28She should take all the power from me.
00:09:31I've spoiled her rotten.
00:09:32And now she's telling me she needs a life
00:09:33when I've given her the best one around.
00:09:34It's fucking rude
00:09:35is what it is.
00:09:37And I don't trust the cunt
00:09:38that's asking her either.
00:09:39Benji.
00:09:40Fucking Uncle Rico twat.
00:09:41He has ill intentions
00:09:42and it pisses me off.
00:09:44I want to go down there
00:09:45and crack his head open.
00:09:46Dance on his fucking brains.
00:09:53Anyway, what do you want to speak to me about?
00:09:56Oh, just this money business.
00:09:59Oh, fuck me.
00:10:00Is that why we're here?
00:10:00Soften me with soft toys?
00:10:02I thought it would be nice.
00:10:03Yeah, you're paying me back now.
00:10:05That's not fair.
00:10:06Not fair?
00:10:07You know, you're the only cunt in the world
00:10:08who could borrow 30k
00:10:10and then make the other cunt
00:10:11feel unreasonable for asking it back.
00:10:12Yeah, but can't we come up
00:10:13with some sort of system instead?
00:10:15Sure, you can pay me back
00:10:16800 a month.
00:10:17Impossible.
00:10:19I mean, I could do 200 at a press.
00:10:21No, it's not enough.
00:10:22Well, then I'm out of options, Riven.
00:10:24Short of giving up on my dreams
00:10:25and I'm not willing to do that.
00:10:27Come on now, they've given up on you.
00:10:34Okay, that was harsh.
00:10:35Don't need to apologise.
00:10:36Fucking didn't.
00:10:42Look, I'm not a monster, all right?
00:10:44There are other ways of doing this.
00:10:46What other ways?
00:10:47Well, I pay a gardener and a cleaner
00:10:49£15 an hour.
00:10:50I can let them go.
00:10:51You can pick up the slack.
00:10:52Deduct it from the toll.
00:10:55You want me to be your bitch?
00:10:57Hey, Mr. Redeemer's nobody's bitch.
00:11:00That's one way of doing it.
00:11:01A couple of times a week,
00:11:02we can call it 200 a month.
00:11:04Add it to the 200, that's 400 total.
00:11:06I can stomach that for now.
00:11:07Yeah, but Riven, Jesus,
00:11:09I'm not sure I feel comfortable with that.
00:11:12I mean, do you feel comfortable with that?
00:11:17Yeah, I think I can live with it.
00:11:47Oh.
00:11:51Aye.
00:11:53Care to join?
00:11:58Sure.
00:12:11I hate that he's making you do this.
00:12:16So where is he?
00:12:17God knows.
00:12:19Stalking through the night.
00:12:22I take it you suggested these dance classes again.
00:12:25Is that right?
00:12:27Yep.
00:12:29Storm straight out.
00:12:31I see.
00:12:33Are you going to defy him?
00:12:35Nah.
00:12:37Can't start World War III over a few twirls.
00:12:44Maybe you could write a chapter in your book about me going.
00:12:47I can read it and it'll be like I'm there.
00:12:50Well, it wouldn't be what you're looking for.
00:12:52I haven't danced in my life.
00:12:53Oh, come on now.
00:12:54Scottish country dancing at school.
00:12:56Oh, piss off.
00:12:57Most embarrassing experience of my life.
00:12:59Nobody would dance for me.
00:13:01Meanwhile, Riven had about five women hanging off of her.
00:13:06That's our boy.
00:13:09Yeah.
00:13:13I miss that, Riven, you know?
00:13:18Yeah.
00:13:20Me too.
00:13:24What do you think happened?
00:13:28Because men...
00:13:29They always fall away with time.
00:13:40Look, I've got a bit of head off, actually.
00:13:44Eva will be wondering.
00:13:46You go, Tiger.
00:14:00Oh, I forgot to say.
00:14:05I remember you dancing.
00:14:07Back at school.
00:14:10It's hard to describe, but I remember you just being so free.
00:14:22Oh, it's hard to do.
00:14:48Ruben.
00:14:49What did you say to her?
00:14:50Excuse me?
00:14:51She's taking her first class tonight.
00:14:53Something about how she looked dancing back at school.
00:14:55Oh, it's just a comment.
00:14:58Well, what are you doing commenting?
00:14:59She's just about to back up the whole fucking thing.
00:15:01Ruben, I really don't think this is a big deal.
00:15:03Yes, it is. You fucked me.
00:15:04Because now, instead of stopping her hobby, I'm stifling her freedom.
00:15:07I don't see what the problem is here.
00:15:09The problem is, she used to stay at home all day and wait for me.
00:15:12Now we get back and she's out there throwing her fucking body about.
00:15:15So? There's nothing wrong with enjoying a bit of attention.
00:15:17I mean, if you've got it, flaunt it.
00:15:18Hey, hey, hey.
00:15:19She hasn't got it.
00:15:20We're married.
00:15:22I've fucking got it.
00:15:23It's not hers to flaunt, it's mine to keep.
00:15:26Are you taking your meds, Ruben?
00:15:28I'll fucking take all of them if you don't sort this out.
00:15:30Well, what do you want me to do?
00:15:33I want you to go down to Dan's class and keep an eye on her.
00:15:37You want me to stalk your wife?
00:15:39No, I don't want you to stalk my wife now.
00:15:41Jesus Christ!
00:15:43Just stay close to her.
00:15:44Trace her movements.
00:15:45Follow her around the place a bit.
00:15:46But don't stalk her.
00:15:50I don't know, Ruben.
00:15:51This all feels a bit off to me.
00:15:54Oh, I don't know.
00:15:55You've done worse than this before, have you not?
00:15:57I mean, maybe we can go upstairs to Ava, let her decide.
00:16:01Or her father.
00:16:04But what?
00:16:05What do you expect to mean to, like, join in?
00:16:08Yeah.
00:16:09Why not?
00:16:10If you're so pro it, maybe you'll find freedom in it, too.
00:16:14And stop her drinking.
00:16:16She always spills her guts when she drinks.
00:16:24Thanks.
00:16:25Thanks.
00:16:45It's all I want to do, so don't you dance.
00:16:49Okay, guys, shall we begin?
00:16:58Okay, we're going deep squat, ready?
00:17:01Three, two, one.
00:17:13Everyone's moving so much right now.
00:17:16Me too, or I was, Jesus Christ.
00:17:42I'm sorry.
00:17:44You know what Reuben's like when he gets persuasive.
00:17:47Yeah, I do, actually, which is why I'm not giving into it this time.
00:17:51I'll get to 16 and realize I've spent my life in his pockets.
00:17:55I mean, this is really all about dancing?
00:17:57No.
00:17:58It goes a lot deeper than that.
00:18:02Well, go on, you can see.
00:18:03No, I can't.
00:18:06I'll destroy him.
00:18:11Well, how about a drink instead?
00:18:15What?
00:18:16He asked how old you were.
00:18:18Yeah, this random dude told me it's great to see me going for it at my age.
00:18:23That's insane.
00:18:24What did you say?
00:18:24I told him I was 30.
00:18:27Life's nuts now.
00:18:28You look like a prisoner of war.
00:18:30I feel like a prisoner of war.
00:18:32You'll fucking will be if you turn up at my dance classes again, I tell you.
00:18:35I'm sorry, Mona.
00:18:37I'll stay away.
00:18:39I need to anyway.
00:18:40You're just starting to think I'm avoiding her.
00:18:42Why would you be avoiding her?
00:18:47Well, she's pregnant, as it happens.
00:18:51Wow.
00:18:53Congrats, that's quick.
00:18:55Yeah.
00:18:56What's wrong?
00:18:57You down it?
00:19:01We've been together a year.
00:19:03We barely know each other.
00:19:05I would say that's better than knowing everything about someone.
00:19:08Yeah, maybe.
00:19:09Just makes me question if it's real, you know?
00:19:12Hmm.
00:19:12Hmm.
00:19:17Ruben is gonna go rag when he finds out Ava's pregnant.
00:19:21Oh, yeah? Why's that?
00:19:26He's infertile.
00:19:32What?
00:19:33Well, no fertility, but it's pretty much the same thing.
00:19:37Is this why he's being so jealous?
00:19:39Yeah.
00:19:40He thinks I'm gonna leave him for a man that can give me all he can.
00:19:44Wow.
00:19:45Ruben.
00:19:46Why is this so shocking?
00:19:48It's just for a man that leaves with his balls.
00:19:51That's not funny.
00:19:53No.
00:19:54Sorry.
00:20:00Have you talked about adopting?
00:20:02Once, but Ruben tore the kitchen sink off the wall.
00:20:05I don't think you realize how bad it is.
00:20:07It's like...
00:20:09He's lost his mind to the whole thing.
00:20:13He gets drunk and talks about how having a kid is God's plan for him,
00:20:18so he can break the cycle.
00:20:22What do you think he means by that?
00:20:24Christ knows.
00:20:25I just think he wants a kid he can care for because his dad didn't treat him so nice.
00:20:34But anyway, let's change the subject.
00:20:36This is depressing.
00:20:39To our fucked up relationships.
00:20:41To our fucked up lives.
00:20:47Oh, I love it.
00:20:52I love it.
00:21:08Jesus, Niall.
00:21:15Where on earth have you been?
00:21:20I think we should do it.
00:21:25I think we should have the baby together.
00:21:31I think we should have the baby together.
00:21:49Ava's pregnant and we're going to make a go of it.
00:21:52Oh, yeah.
00:21:53Is that it?
00:21:54Oh, yeah.
00:21:55I was just waiting for the caveat.
00:21:57No, there's no caveat.
00:21:58We're doing this.
00:21:59I told her last night.
00:22:00When did she get pregnant?
00:22:02We found out a week ago.
00:22:03Well, that doesn't sound very certain to me.
00:22:05Well, I was just thinking it through.
00:22:07Ava and I are still very new and it's a big thing to put at the centre of things.
00:22:10Oh.
00:22:12You can say that again.
00:22:14I mean, it's hard enough without everything else.
00:22:17Everything else I was in?
00:22:19Your sexuality.
00:22:23That's over, Mum. I've told you this.
00:22:25Is it, though?
00:22:26I find it very convenient.
00:22:27You find your straight side.
00:22:28The second Reuben is back in your life.
00:22:30How many times? It was a phase.
00:22:32It wasn't a phase, Niall. It was a serious problem.
00:22:35Well, then how come it stopped?
00:22:36Because you enlisted the services of a priest.
00:22:39Nobody pays that much money to get themselves out of a bloody phase.
00:22:42He wasn't a priest.
00:22:44He was a...
00:22:46spiritual figure.
00:22:47He was a charlatan and you were a div.
00:22:55Well, it worked, didn't it?
00:22:57Oh, bollocks did it.
00:22:59Do you really think your sexuality can be done away with a few cups of poison?
00:23:03Don't be daft, Niall. Jesus.
00:23:05Well, then how come I haven't done anything since then?
00:23:07Because you haven't been tested yet. Trust me.
00:23:10It will creep upon you in your darkest hour. These things always do.
00:23:13Jesus Christ, just stop it, will you?
00:23:14You should be happy for me.
00:23:16I am happy, love.
00:23:18I'm just trying to make you see the full picture.
00:23:20Can you honestly look me in the eye and say you're certain you want a child?
00:23:23Yes, Mum. Yes, I can.
00:23:26Well, then do it.
00:23:31I'm certain.
00:23:38Hmm.
00:23:43The thing to forget is anything the books tell you.
00:23:47Truth is, it can take a while for that bond to form.
00:23:52Particularly for the dads.
00:23:55Excuse me.
00:23:57It's, er, Niall, isn't it?
00:24:00Yeah.
00:24:01What did I just say?
00:24:05Er...
00:24:06Something to do with the dads?
00:24:08Yes.
00:24:09Very nearly a full sentence.
00:24:13Just that it is natural for the dad to take longer to connect to the baby.
00:24:20Fucking twat.
00:24:22What did I just say?
00:24:24Like I'm some school kid.
00:24:26He just wants to make sure everyone's moving at the same pace.
00:24:29Yeah, he always looks at me when he makes the negative points, though.
00:24:31Well, you get off the vibe of an absent father, to be fair.
00:24:33How do I?
00:24:34Friends in the family. Your father was an absent father, was he not?
00:24:37He died.
00:24:38Exactly. You don't get much more absent than that, do you?
00:24:44Oh, Jesus, what now?
00:24:46What the fuck is he doing here?
00:25:00Ruben?
00:25:02What are you doing here?
00:25:04I just need a word.
00:25:06Everything okay?
00:25:08It'll be fine.
00:25:10Just give us a second, will you?
00:25:33The other night.
00:25:35Dance class.
00:25:38I wanna know what you saw.
00:25:41I didn't see anything.
00:25:45Was Benji there?
00:25:47Yeah, I think so.
00:25:50What happened?
00:25:52Nothing.
00:25:53They talked?
00:25:54Yeah.
00:25:54Well, then something happened, didn't it?
00:25:55Well, talk doesn't mean anything.
00:25:59Describe it.
00:26:00The interaction.
00:26:04Well, he went up at the end of the class, they hugged...
00:26:07They hugged.
00:26:08Yeah.
00:26:08They fucking hugged.
00:26:10Motherfucker!
00:26:11It's too...
00:26:11Shh!
00:26:12It's too far!
00:26:14It was a...
00:26:15It was like a friendly hug.
00:26:17Do it on me.
00:26:18No, I can't...
00:26:19The hug!
00:26:19Do it on me, okay?
00:26:21I'm Mona.
00:26:22You're Benji.
00:26:23Do it on me.
00:26:25Come on.
00:26:27Well, it was just like...
00:26:31You asshole!
00:26:32Fuck this cock!
00:26:32This is insane!
00:26:34No, it's not.
00:26:34Okay?
00:26:35I want you to do better here moving forward.
00:26:38I can't keep doing this.
00:26:38I can't.
00:26:39I have a life.
00:26:40What fucking life do you have?
00:26:41You're practically unemployed.
00:26:43Well, even so, I'm not gonna spend it spying on your wife.
00:26:45Tough shit!
00:26:47When you get yourself a life, you can complain.
00:26:48I'm pulling you from it.
00:26:49So, you're fucking doing this, alright?
00:26:52Because I've got your fucking balls, Bambi.
00:26:54Don't forget it.
00:26:55Yeah?
00:26:56Yeah?
00:26:57Do you understand?
00:27:00Do you understand?
00:27:02Yes.
00:27:04Good.
00:27:06Good.
00:27:07Is there anything else you need to say?
00:27:12Yeah.
00:27:18Eve is pregnant.
00:27:27Oh.
00:27:34Wow.
00:27:36That's amazing.
00:27:40Honestly, that's, uh...
00:27:43That's amazing.
00:27:50I'm gonna be an uncle.
00:27:52Hey.
00:27:55Uncle Rube.
00:27:58Hey, it's got a nice ring to it.
00:28:00Yeah?
00:28:02I'll be the cunt that comes round and does the coin trick behind the ear.
00:28:06You're not allowed to teach him it.
00:28:08Hey, that's my trick, yeah?
00:28:09You big fucking shagger.
00:28:11Yeah?
00:28:12I'm proud of you.
00:28:13My brother from another lover, yeah?
00:28:15Putting your fucking dick to work.
00:28:17Hey.
00:28:18They should put it in a museum, shouldn't they?
00:28:21Your cock on display, yeah?
00:28:22Can you imagine?
00:28:24Big fucking dick with a strong seed.
00:28:26The older people in the museum wandering around looking over her.
00:28:29I bet never in a million years would they think it was strapped to a fucking body this meek.
00:28:35Yeah?
00:28:35Or a face this fucking scrawny, hey?
00:28:38I bet they thought it'd be strapped to some fucking big bison of a cunt.
00:28:42Some fucking, like, Greek muscly fucker.
00:28:45Some fucking Russian cunt, yeah?
00:28:48Hey, hey, hey, why don't you show me it, yeah?
00:28:50Fucker, hey?
00:28:51Come on, show me, hey?
00:28:53Don't!
00:28:53No, show me.
00:28:53Show me.
00:28:54Show me, hey?
00:28:55Ruben, don't.
00:28:55I just want to catch a glimpse.
00:28:56Come on, mate.
00:28:57Don't!
00:28:57Get off!
00:28:58No, no, it's like a fucking trophy, isn't it?
00:29:00Hey?
00:29:01Hey, fucking show me, yeah?
00:29:02Come on.
00:29:03Come on, Niall, hey?
00:29:04It's like a big fucking trophy, isn't it?
00:29:06Get off!
00:29:07Come on, Niall, yeah?
00:29:09Yeah?
00:29:09Come on, Niall.
00:29:10Come on.
00:29:12Come on, Niall.
00:29:13Get off, yeah?
00:29:14What the fuck are you doing?
00:29:15Yeah?
00:29:15Yeah?
00:29:16No, no, no.
00:29:16Come on, come on, come on.
00:29:17Come on, I want to see the big fucking shagging.
00:29:19No!
00:29:20Fucking get off!
00:29:20You're pregnant in fucking peace.
00:29:22Ruben, stop!
00:29:22You're gonna do better for me moving forward, are you, yeah?
00:29:25You're gonna fucking keep an eye on me.
00:29:26You're gonna fucking keep an eye on me, are you?
00:29:28Yeah?
00:29:28Stop it!
00:29:30Get off!
00:29:30Yeah?
00:29:32Ruben!
00:29:34What the hell's going on here?
00:29:41Nothing.
00:29:42Just messing around.
00:29:47Look, it's getting late, yeah?
00:29:49So, maybe we can come back another time.
00:30:03You're big fucking shagger.
00:30:05Ha ha!
00:30:06Huh.
00:30:08You're big shagger!
00:30:11Yeah!
00:30:13Yeah!
00:30:14Yeah!
00:30:15What the fuck you do?
00:30:30No, no, no...
00:30:33We can't.
00:30:33You're like oh my god.
00:30:40How is this in the night?
00:30:48hey mister hey
00:30:53where's reuben
00:30:55he left this morning for aberdeen
00:30:59he'll be offshore next week so we'll all get a bit of peace from him
00:31:03if you fancy some soup i'm gonna put a pot on
00:31:09sure i'll just finish up here
00:31:12no you won't you've got more important work to do
00:31:16follow me
00:31:20you're probably the first person to use this
00:31:23i was thinking you could write some of your book and read me it later
00:31:28here's the way if i could
00:31:30and if you get chilly reuben's dressing gowns on the back of the door
00:31:34i'm excited to do some
00:31:52here you go
00:31:55it's a bit hot thanks
00:31:59go on then
00:32:02read me something
00:32:03oh no no
00:32:04i feel self-conscious
00:32:06well i'll close my eyes then you can whisper to me
00:32:20billy looked up to cosmo who was everything he was not
00:32:24he had a violent unafraid quality like he could go off anytime somehow
00:32:35he was tall slim with jet black hair and seemed to have a succession of girls throwing themselves at him
00:32:42constantly all of whom he would brush off without a single care in the world apart from carla alice the
00:32:50top girl in the whole school
00:32:55every boy fancied her
00:32:57she had this rare wispy quality like she was unattainable somewhere
00:33:02and billy didn't know whether it was youth or good looks or adolescent projection on his part but she
00:33:14keep going
00:33:19she walked like fairy dust
00:33:22i saw a brighton in every corner of the school
00:33:37well
00:33:37i don't know about you
00:33:41but i'm feeling every inch of this book
00:34:05it's honestly fine
00:34:07reuben
00:34:08what the hell i thought you were going to aberdeen today
00:34:11yeah i'm going in a minute
00:34:13i just came around to drop these off
00:34:16say congratulations
00:34:36that's it
00:34:37look i
00:34:39i wouldn't be a man if i didn't come round and say
00:34:42that i'm happy for you
00:34:43yeah
00:34:48you know ava
00:34:50you're going to be a great mum
00:34:55and niall
00:34:57you're going to be a dad
00:35:03but i'm also coming round
00:35:07to say that i'm calling in my debts
00:35:17reuben don't do this
00:35:19what debts
00:35:20niall owes me 30k
00:35:23what i thought you paid that
00:35:25why are you doing this reuben
00:35:26because once you have a kid you'll never have the money to pay me back
00:35:30niall what's going on here
00:35:34is this because ava's pregnant
00:35:40what makes you say that brother
00:35:42i'm happy for you
00:35:44no it's just i know you've been trying really hard
00:35:51she told you
00:35:59she told you
00:36:00she fucking told you
00:36:04she fucking told you
00:36:06i'll fucking kill her
00:36:07i'll fucking kill her
00:36:09oh my god niall
00:36:09are you okay
00:36:12i need to go after her
00:36:13no no you don't
00:36:14niall
00:36:14you might become cursed
00:36:16no i have to
00:36:16no i have to go
00:36:17niall no iv
00:36:18no let me go
00:36:27niall
00:36:27oh shit
00:36:29get your fucking shit out of my fucking house
00:36:33i can't believe you
00:36:34you fucking can't believe you
00:36:35you fucking telling my shit to people
00:36:37why are you doing this
00:36:38i told you didn't i
00:36:40i fucking told you
00:36:41let's talk about this
00:36:42what the hell's going on
00:36:43this is what you get
00:36:44it's her
00:36:44telling my shit to people
00:36:46ribbit stop
00:36:47shouting her mouth off at people
00:36:48stop before someone calls the police
00:36:50stop it
00:36:51that's not yours to give away
00:36:52do you understand
00:36:53i fucking told you
00:36:54is there a problem here
00:36:56shut the fuck up
00:36:57ribbit stop
00:36:58shut the fuck up
00:36:59ribbit stop
00:36:59you fat cunt
00:37:00you want some
00:37:01yeah you fat fucking cunt
00:37:03look at me
00:37:03look at me
00:37:04walk away
00:37:05yeah what are you looking at
00:37:06stop it
00:37:07yeah you fucking walk away
00:37:08hey look at me
00:37:09you're gonna lose everything
00:37:10if you don't fuck off right now
00:37:13look at what you've built
00:37:14look at what you've got
00:37:15if they call the police
00:37:16you're gonna lose it all
00:37:17and you're gonna end up back in prison
00:37:37i'm sorry
00:37:38don't even go there
00:37:39don't even fucking go there
00:37:54don't even fucking go there
00:38:05fuck
00:38:08what did you say to him
00:38:11i'm so sorry molly
00:38:12you forced it out
00:38:12are you okay
00:38:14are you alright
00:38:14i thought he's done
00:38:15i know i didn't really do this
00:38:17i need to get you back inside
00:38:18alright
00:38:19i'll fix this okay
00:38:20come on
00:38:22let's go
00:38:22let's go
00:38:24we'll get everything cleaned up
00:38:53hey
00:38:55hey what's wrong
00:38:58fuck
00:38:59it's my life
00:39:05i know i should leave him
00:39:07but i just
00:39:11love him so much
00:39:15i know he can't help it
00:39:18but he's killing me
00:39:23look i feel like i'm betraying him here by saying this but
00:39:28you deserve better
00:39:31i love ruben
00:39:34but he's lost his mind
00:39:37he's away with the fairies now
00:39:40in fact even the fairies have had enough of him
00:39:51no
00:39:53no
00:40:18I don't know.
00:40:29I don't know.
00:41:00I don't know.
00:41:28I don't know.
00:41:30I'm sorry.
00:41:33Don't apologize.
00:41:34Just tell me what the hell is going on.
00:41:34No, I am.
00:41:35I'm sorry.
00:41:36I'm really, really sorry.
00:41:39What happened with the money, Niall?
00:41:41I can't say.
00:41:41Yes, you can.
00:41:43That was my dad's money.
00:41:45I need to know what you spent it on.
00:41:53Niall, what did you spend it on?
00:41:56I did these courses.
00:41:58I did these...
00:42:02Straightening me out type courses.
00:42:06What?
00:42:09That's not okay, Niall.
00:42:17What did they do?
00:42:31I drank stuff.
00:42:34Look, the images threw up a bit.
00:42:38You spent 30K on this.
00:42:40No.
00:42:42No, he asked for the right debit and then he emptied my account.
00:42:47Oh, Jesus.
00:42:53Oh, Niall.
00:42:55Why can't you just be happy with that side of yourself?
00:42:58It's the 21st century.
00:42:59Nobody cares anymore.
00:43:01It doesn't make me feel any better.
00:43:03The fact that the world is progressing only adds to the problem because not only am I ashamed,
00:43:09but bloody irrational too.
00:43:11I get that, but when you told me, I said it didn't matter as long as it didn't interfere with
00:43:17our relationship.
00:43:19Besides, everyone who matters knows.
00:43:22Your mom knows.
00:43:24I know.
00:43:26Christ, from what I understand, every truck driver in Glasgow knows.
00:43:32I don't see why it's a problem.
00:43:34Because I don't know.
00:43:40You need to get some help.
00:43:43Some proper help.
00:43:46Because I don't have it in me to fix someone who won't show me their part.
00:43:50I will.
00:43:55I don't know where to start.
00:44:01Start with the biggest thing.
00:44:05Then we're back from there.
00:44:24Well, look, I just wanted to pop around and see how you were, really.
00:44:28Yeah, fine, I suppose.
00:44:31It was a moment of madness, but I don't think we should get worked up over it or punish ourselves.
00:44:41Yeah, I agree.
00:44:53Sorry, are you feeling, like, okay about it?
00:45:00I don't know how to feel, if I'm honest.
00:45:02I haven't allowed any emotion, and I'm good that way.
00:45:05Yeah, but this is pretty big, Mona.
00:45:08You slept with his brother.
00:45:10On his kitchen floor.
00:45:12The floor he tiled.
00:45:14Yeah, I know.
00:45:15I was there now.
00:45:19Sorry, Mona, is everything all right?
00:45:22You've been a bit cold.
00:45:24I'm just compartmentalising.
00:45:27It's how I cope.
00:45:28Yeah, I get that.
00:45:29But with his brother, Mona.
00:45:31Oh, please.
00:45:32Are you really trying to get me to realise my guilt here now?
00:45:35You are the brother.
00:45:36Yeah, no, I know that.
00:45:37I just...
00:45:41Look, can you not do that, please?
00:45:44Jesus, Mona.
00:45:47Why are you being so chill about this?
00:45:54If you must know, I've been here before.
00:46:03What, on Reuben?
00:46:06This is the first time I've had sex buying this bag.
00:46:12Wait, are we talking about Benji here?
00:46:15That twat with the moustache?
00:46:18It doesn't matter who it was.
00:46:19Oh, my God, it is him, isn't it?
00:46:23So all of Reuben's suspicion around this, it's justified?
00:46:25It's not justified now.
00:46:27There's no excuse to treat me the way he has,
00:46:29regardless of what I've done.
00:46:30You've fucking driven him insane!
00:46:31He pushed me there!
00:46:32Oh, really, did he push your hand on his cock as well?
00:46:45Do you know what, Niall?
00:46:47I don't think this has anything to do with Reuben or anything like that.
00:46:52This has to do with the fact you've realized you're not as special as you thought you were.
00:47:01Then nip out, will you?
00:47:03I need to get my glam on.
00:47:05We can talk about this another time.
00:47:13Newborns get very cold.
00:47:15So the first thing to do is minimize the amount of time that they're undressed.
00:47:20The best thing to do is...
00:47:22Oh, mayday, mayday.
00:47:25We have a fully clothed baby drowning.
00:47:28Niall Kennedy.
00:47:30You have the right to remain silent.
00:47:32Anything you do, say...
00:47:33Now, why don't you fuck off?
00:47:49Okay, so the best thing to do...
00:47:52What was that?
00:47:53He's a prick.
00:47:54Go back and apologize.
00:47:55There's no chance.
00:47:56He should be apologizing to me.
00:47:57I pay the man.
00:47:58He has no right to talk to me the way he does.
00:47:59Well, I pay you.
00:48:00So I can talk to you the way I want, then.
00:48:02You're a disgrace, Niall Kennedy.
00:48:04A child in man's clothing.
00:48:06Yeah, yeah.
00:48:06You can shout with me tomorrow.
00:48:07I'm shouting at you now.
00:48:10I'm staying at my sister's, so you can bloody think about what you've done here.
00:48:14Because you don't get to steal my money and fuck up these classes as well.
00:48:18And trust me, if you do it again, your visits will be supervised.
00:48:28Last fucking chance.
00:48:36Yo, it's Reuven.
00:48:38Leave a message.
00:48:40Yo, it's Reuven.
00:48:41Leave a message.
00:48:43Yo, it's Reuven.
00:48:44Leave a message.
00:48:55Reuven, it's Niall.
00:48:57I know that you're offshore right now, but I found out some information on Benji.
00:49:03And, uh, I tell you what.
00:49:06I'm coming to Aberdeen.
00:49:11Hi.
00:49:12Yeah, hi.
00:49:13I'm wondering if I can speak to Reuven Pallister.
00:49:17I'm his brother, and I really need to get in touch with him somehow.
00:49:22Reuven Pallister?
00:49:24Yeah.
00:49:25Never heard of him.
00:49:27Oh, yeah, uh, he's a, he's a rigger here.
00:49:30But he comes in here for payroll stuff every now and again, I don't know.
00:49:34But, I mean, he, uh, I mean, he definitely works here.
00:49:38Here, Bill.
00:49:39Do you, do you know Reuven Pallister?
00:49:43Oh, Pally.
00:49:45Is that who you mean?
00:49:47Eh, yeah.
00:49:48Yeah, I remember him.
00:49:49He got let go of ages ago.
00:49:52I mean, what?
00:49:53No, no, no, that, that, but that can't be, because, I mean, he's, I mean, he's offshore right now, no?
00:50:00I can check for you, um.
00:50:09Nope, no Reuven Pallister here.
00:50:14Right, uh, well, uh, do you know where I might be able to find him?
00:50:20I mean, I think he's staying with an old colleague here.
00:50:24A guy called Roy.
00:50:25Okay, uh, well, do you have his address?
00:50:30Who will do this?
00:50:40Okay, uh, well, I guess a guy called Roy,
00:51:08Reuben!
00:51:13Reuben! Reuben, wait!
00:51:39Talk to me, and they're telling me you've been sacked.
00:51:45Well, if that's what they're saying.
00:51:49How long ago was this?
00:51:51About a year ago.
00:51:54A year?
00:51:57But you're up here all the time.
00:51:59Yeah, well, I had to keep up the pretense
00:52:02while I figured out what to do.
00:52:04That's why my phone's been off as well.
00:52:07Jesus, Reuben.
00:52:10What happened?
00:52:12Nothing. It was HR bullshit.
00:52:15My fucking supervisor was pressing me, and I lashed out.
00:52:18It wasn't even that bad.
00:52:20Oh, yeah?
00:52:20Yeah.
00:52:21Just put him up against the wall.
00:52:23Threatened to kill his family.
00:52:27I was gone within a week.
00:52:31I don't understand.
00:52:32A year ago, you were lending me money.
00:52:35Yeah, well...
00:52:36I maxed out a ton of credit cards keeping it up.
00:52:39What?
00:52:41You did that for me?
00:52:43I did that for everyone.
00:52:48Why?
00:52:54Because I liked it.
00:52:57I liked being the provider.
00:53:01I knew my place in the world.
00:53:06So that's why you've been asking for it all back?
00:53:09Hmm.
00:53:12I can't keep doing this, though.
00:53:14You need to declare bankruptcy.
00:53:15Oh, fuck that.
00:53:16Men don't declare bankruptcy.
00:53:17Don't be ridiculous.
00:53:18I just need to find a new job.
00:53:21It's hard.
00:53:24Prison sentence and all that.
00:53:31I mean, come on.
00:53:33What kind of man would I be?
00:53:36If on top of not being able to give her kids,
00:53:39I couldn't pay the mortgage as well.
00:53:45And you know the worst part about all this?
00:53:49You were totally right.
00:53:53You said back in that hospital that I'd fuck it up.
00:53:56And I did.
00:53:59So you can have your popcorn now.
00:54:02Hope it tastes sweet.
00:54:05That doesn't, Riven.
00:54:07I can assure you that.
00:54:15She can't find out, son.
00:54:23I've proven you surely can't do this forever.
00:54:26She's not worth this.
00:54:27She's not worth a lifetime of debt.
00:54:29She is, mate.
00:54:31She's worth that.
00:54:32And more.
00:54:33And everything in between.
00:54:35Listen to me.
00:54:37All right.
00:54:39I'm begging you.
00:54:41Don't say a word.
00:54:42Not to her.
00:54:43Not to anyone.
00:54:46Look, please.
00:54:47Please, brother.
00:54:51Do this for me.
00:55:09You won't tell anyone, will you?
00:55:09You won't tell anyone, will you?
00:55:22Yeah.
00:55:25No.
00:55:27Of course.
00:55:32For all that we've been through,
00:55:36You won't tell anyone.
00:55:36I still trust you more than anyone.
00:55:55You won't tell anyone.
00:55:55I will tell anyone.
00:55:55I'll tell you more than 100 percent.
00:55:55Why don't youSer.
00:55:55Hey, Nick.
00:55:55I'm hungry.
00:55:55I'm hungry.
00:55:56I'm hungry.
00:55:56I don't know.
00:55:57I'm hungry.
00:55:57But I don't know.
00:55:58You haven't eaten.
00:55:58I can't believe it.
00:55:58You're hungry.
00:56:07I'm hungry.
00:56:10I don't know.
00:56:44I don't know.
00:57:09I don't know.
00:57:13Come in.
00:57:31What's your excuse this time?
00:57:45I was with a male prostitute.
00:57:52How?
00:57:59Any good?
00:58:03No.
00:58:06Not really.
00:58:11I couldn't relax.
00:58:16Did you come?
00:58:21Yeah, but I, you know, I wasn't relaxed.
00:58:35I can't even.
00:58:37Yeah.
00:58:48I can't.
00:58:49I can't.
00:58:51I can't.
00:59:04I can't.
00:59:06I can't.
00:59:22I can't.
00:59:26I can't.
00:59:34I can't.
00:59:36I can't.
00:59:37I need to talk to you about something.
00:59:38It's late.
00:59:43Let's go in here.
00:59:44I can't.
00:59:55I can't.
00:59:59I can't.
01:00:09I can't.
01:00:19I can't.
01:00:29I can't.
01:00:29I can't.
01:00:33I can't.
01:00:38I can't.
01:00:42I can't.
01:00:43You know I have other means of getting out of here.
01:00:49It's in your head.
01:00:53I swear.
01:00:57No.
01:00:59Someone's changed her.
01:01:03I can feel it in the space between us.
01:01:06she's off somehow.
01:01:13It's not proof, Ruben.
01:01:16I went back home before I came here.
01:01:24I found my dressing gown
01:01:27on the floor of my office.
01:01:31It smelled of someone else, huh?
01:01:34I couldn't place her.
01:01:51I don't know the extent of it.
01:01:53Motherfucker!
01:01:54Wait, I didn't say anything.
01:01:55Ruben, you didn't let me finish.
01:01:57I didn't need to.
01:01:58Wait, fucking no.
01:01:59Ruben!
01:02:00Ruben, wait!
01:02:07The address!
01:02:08I need the fucking address!
01:02:09What?
01:02:10Which address?
01:02:10Fucking Benji!
01:02:11Ruben's on his way there now!
01:02:12Oh my God!
01:02:13Oh my God!
01:02:14Okay, that is Blanchard Street 60.
01:02:16Okay!
01:02:17Fuck!
01:02:17Oh my God!
01:02:31Oh my God!
01:02:33Oh my God!
01:02:38Oh my God!
01:02:38Oh my God!
01:02:38Oh my God!
01:02:38Oh my God!
01:02:38Oh my God!
01:02:39Oh my God!
01:02:39Oh my God!
01:02:45Oh my God!
01:02:49Let's go.
01:03:22Let's go.
01:03:46Let's go.
01:04:17Let's go.
01:04:47Let's go.
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