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A down-to-earth Father Christmas recounts a vacation he took around the world and a typical Christmas Eve workload, from his small house in contemporary Britain.
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00:00THE END
00:23Whoa, whoa, whoa, my dears!
00:26What? Oh, stop!
00:30Hooray, home again.
00:33Oh, my feet are frozen.
00:38All right, all right.
00:45Ah, there you are, my dears.
00:51That's it for another blooming year.
01:02There you go.
01:10Yeah, let's give it a little bit of a...
01:14Oh, yes, that's better.
01:16Blocks of blooming...
01:20Ice.
01:22Oh, bless.
01:27Oh, I know what you're thinking.
01:29Dunno what he's blooming well moaning about.
01:33Life of Riley.
01:34Bed of blooming roses.
01:36Wonder what he does with the other 364 days.
01:40Well, I'll let you into a big blooming secret.
01:44For a start, there's the reindeer to see to every day.
01:48Then there's the garden.
01:50And me blooming veggie patch.
01:52Housework.
01:54Shopping.
01:55In fact, last year I was so blooming fed up with it all,
01:58I decided to do something about it.
02:11Blooming good holiday, that's what I need.
02:13But where?
02:15Italy.
02:17Greece.
02:19Or...
02:20Island, maybe.
02:22Holland.
02:25Canada.
02:26Definitely.
02:28Germany.
02:29Tunisia.
02:31Switzerland.
02:33France!
02:34France, that's it!
02:36Land of culture and civilization.
02:40Food.
02:41Wine.
02:42Sun.
02:42Camping!
02:48Oh, perhaps not.
02:52Oh, blooming genius, that's what I am.
03:02Now, a bit of 4B2.
03:06Ten panels of...
03:07Yes, then the old do-it-yourself should take more than...
03:12Well...
03:13Well...
03:13Let's see...
03:22Bloomin' shoddy, bloomin' paint, bloomin' nails...
03:27Oh, dear!
03:29Oh!
03:29Bonjour.
03:31Aujourd'hui, mes amis...
03:32Vous...
03:33Vous...
03:33Vous...
03:34Et...
03:35Où...
03:37Sont...
03:38Nous...
03:41Avons...
03:42Un, deux, trois!
03:45Leçon dix.
03:46Répétez après moi.
03:48Où sont les plumes de ma tante?
03:50You know what you can do with your bloomin' tante, love.
03:53La plume de ma tante est dans ma peau.
03:55Bloomin' finny.
03:58Oh, thank goodness.
04:00Oh, Trey Bond.
04:02This part?
04:05Oi!
04:06Oi, mind the bloomin' paint?
04:09Right, then.
04:11Socks, faces, shirts, trousers, hands, sugar, cocoa, salt, pepper, candy, footy gear, all the colours, nice books, phrasebook.
04:25Bloomin' animals!
04:45Oh!
04:46Oh, la belle-bloomin' France.
04:49Marvellous.
04:52I suppose I ought to do some shopping, though.
04:55Oh, la belle-bloomin'.
04:56Oh, la belle-bloomin'.
04:59Oh, I wish I didn't look so like a bloomin' foreigner.
05:05That's better.
05:06More French!
05:08Not so bloomin' conspicuous.
05:15Monsieur?
05:16Merci, me old mate.
05:18Right.
05:19I am gonna have a bash at everything going.
05:24Ooh.
05:26No chips, mate.
05:27Uh, chips?
05:29Le fruit?
05:31Sacré bleu.
05:32Vous plaisantez, non, monsieur?
05:34I think that means no bloomin' chips.
05:37How about ketchup, then?
05:39Dis-donc!
05:40C'est clair.
05:43HP sauce?
05:44Non?
05:45Non, monsieur.
05:47Just have to make the best of it, then, I suppose.
05:50Ooh.
05:52Mm.
05:52Oh.
05:55Ooh.
06:00Ooh.
06:04Monsieur?
06:06Café, crème, cognac, et...
06:09l'addition.
06:12Crumbs!
06:14Bloomin' expensive.
06:17Ooh.
06:19Cap, go on.
06:21Oh, no.
06:24No!
06:25No!
06:25Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear!
06:28Where are the alpha-watches?
06:29The dio thingy!
06:32Oh, dear.
06:34Maybe.
06:39Ah!
06:40Ah!
06:43How dare be blooming white cow!
06:49Better get to a proper camping ground.
06:52No!
06:53Proper toilets for a start!
06:57Crumbs.
06:59No!
07:01Oh, dear, okay.
07:15Must be the blooming water.
07:18Perhaps a bit of breakfast.
07:28That old blade that looks like half a Christmas.
07:31Crumbs. Time to move on.
07:34Now, where?
07:38Let me see now.
07:40Pure water.
07:42Scotland!
07:43Of course!
07:45The best water in the world.
07:47After all, they make whiskey with it.
07:53Crumbs, what a place.
07:57Morning.
07:59Oh, blooming cop.
08:07You mean marvelous.
08:12Cheers, mate.
08:17Yeah, bro.
08:18Oh, yeah.
08:22Slangy bar.
08:25Really?
08:29Oh, just a job.
08:38Hey, Mum.
08:39It's Santa Claus.
08:40How wee-wee-wee.
08:46Time to move on again, I suppose.
08:49Crumbs!
08:49It's not raining.
08:56It's freezing!
09:00Crumbs!
09:01Crumbs!
09:02Sharks!
09:03Sharks!
09:06Rain.
09:08Cold.
09:09Sharks.
09:11What a blooming country.
09:15Enough's enough.
09:17Somewhere hot.
09:20Of course.
09:22Las Vegas.
09:23A little bit obvious, really.
09:29Not a bad little hotel.
09:32Have a nice day, sir.
09:37Yeah, nice little room.
09:53A swim.
09:55That's it for today.
09:57I hope the water's not too cold.
10:21Time for a little snack, I think.
10:27Blooming marvelous.
10:31Quite good little puts, too.
10:37Better smarten yourself up for the evening.
10:43Now we're all in.
10:44There we go.
10:45Not bad.
10:46Out of a blooming cracker.
10:57Oh.
11:01Hang on a minute.
11:02Rien of a plume, madame and monsieur.
11:04Right.
11:07There we go.
11:08No more bets.
11:09Too blooming right, mate.
11:11Nothing left to blooming well play with.
11:15Okay.
11:24Oh, dear.
11:26Too blooming old for all this.
11:28Bed time, I think.
11:33There we go.
11:34There we go again.
11:35There we go again.
11:55Top.
11:55Hey, Mom, is that fat guy Santa Claus?
11:59Time to be off again.
12:01Oh, well.
12:05Crumbs.
12:06I'm running low on money anyway.
12:07Hey, Mac, are you Santa Claus?
12:09Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.
12:13Come on.
12:15Um, I'll certainly bet a blooming well go home.
12:28All right, all right.
12:34Hooray, home again.
12:37Oh, look at the blooming garden.
12:40Blooming weeds.
12:41And a mower will never go through that blooming grass.
12:46Thank heaven that's over.
12:49Good to be home, really.
12:52Better get those two rascals.
12:56All right, all right.
12:58Mind me blooming beard?
13:01Yeah, here we are then.
13:03Oh, what's going on here?
13:06Ah, ha.
13:07Blooming post started coming in already.
13:10I can hardly get in the blooming door.
13:16It gets earlier every year.
13:21Better get down to it in a minute.
13:24Look at this.
13:26What will they call me next?
13:28Santa Claus?
13:30Peer Noel?
13:32Saint Nicholas?
13:34Just blooming old Father Christmas, really.
13:37Still, it's all the same, I suppose.
13:43What?
13:44Hmm.
13:47Eh?
13:52Where do you want these, mate?
13:54Yeah.
13:59So that's 200 teddy bears.
14:02No, no.
14:03201.
14:04201.
14:05No, that's a panda.
14:08Oh, blooming building bricks.
14:10It's weigh a ton.
14:12Oh, I'll have to look that one up.
14:15Bloody pony.
14:16How does you think I'll get out on the sledge?
14:19Oh, think of something.
14:24You've got to make the lorry round the side, mate.
14:30Oh, my God.
14:32Where did all this lock come from?
14:33Oh, dear.
14:48Where, where?
14:50There's one more blooming chore.
14:56Off to a fancy dress party, then, sir?
14:58I should be so blooming lucky.
15:01Huh.
15:23Get off.
15:24Get off.
15:25Get off.
15:28Christmas Eve again.
15:33It'll be snowed during the night.
15:49Hey, Omidus.
15:51It is bringing sleep, and further bores of snow are expected later on.
15:56Blooming sleep, blooming snow.
15:59Oh, it would be, wouldn't it?
16:06Roll on, summer.
16:07That's what I say.
16:12All right.
16:14Yep.
16:16Yep.
16:17Yeah.
16:18Back, back.
16:19Yeah, go on.
16:20No, no.
16:20Now, go on.
16:21Go on.
16:22Ah, man.
16:23Yes.
16:36Righto, my dears.
16:38This is Blooming Well It.
16:41Sally-ho!
16:46All the little girls and boys, I've got this sack full of toys.
16:50I'm sure it gets bloomin' heavier every year.
16:55You've got to remember, this day in December is me busiest bloomin' night of the year.
17:07There's hours still to go, and my boots are full of snow, and both me poor old feet are bloomin'
17:14freezing.
17:15As we sail through the sky, going ever so high, we wish you the best of the bloomin' season.
17:24So jump up on my sleigh, and we're all on our way, to another bloomin' Christmas.
17:40I know I must look a sight, up on your roof tonight, trying to wriggle down your bloomin' chimney.
17:49It's just the getting inside.
17:52Is it me that's too wide?
17:54It's squeezing everything outside that's bloomin' in me.
18:00Then I deliver all the toys, without making a single noise, and I look at their bloomin' faces.
18:07They're so quiet.
18:10But I know, in the morning, when Christmas comes adorning, there's bound to be another bloomin' riot!
18:18So jump up on my sleigh, and we're all on our way, to another bloomin' Christmas!
18:26Oh, my God!
18:56Hi, Lou's upstairs first on the night.
19:01Not awfully original.
19:03All the bells will soon be ringing.
19:05Glad tidings they'll be bringing.
19:08Soon I'll hear them singing in me blooming head.
19:12So from me and my reindeer, we'll see you all next year.
19:17I'm going home soon to my blooming bed.
19:21So jump up on my sleigh, and we're all on our way
19:25To another blooming Christmas.
19:32So jump up on my sleigh, and we're all on our way
19:37To another blooming Christmas.
19:43So from me and my reindeer, we'll see you all next year.
19:51For another blooming Christmas.
19:57Ha ha!
20:01We're all blooming chimney for a start.
20:04Well, here goes.
20:10Nearly there, boys.
20:13Bit late, mind.
20:14We're almost two nella tua way.
20:17Bye.
20:17All right.
20:26Bye.
20:29Bye.
20:29Bye.
20:30Bye.
21:01Glad you could make it again.
21:03The party, I mean.
21:05Not your snowman.
21:06Ha, ha, ha, ha.
21:28Oh, that's blooming, sawn it.
21:31Oh, my goodness.
21:32I've left the wrong present before, but never.
21:36Well, there's only one thing for it.
21:40Come on, my dears.
21:42We're going for the blooming record.
21:51Good boy.
21:53Ha, ha.
21:59Come on.
22:00We're blooming well making your butt.
22:16Good.
22:17Flags flying.
22:18They're in.
22:19Morning, mate.
22:22All right, here we are.
22:23Yep.
22:24Whoa.
22:26Right.
22:27Right, right, right.
22:28Right, come on, come on, come on, come on.
22:36Still at it, mate, eh?
22:38Done now.
22:39Thank blooming goodness.
22:41Oh.
22:42Oh.
22:42Better get a move on out of here.
22:50Not far now, my dears.
22:58So there you are.
23:00Now you're blooming well know, don't you?
23:03Perhaps you won't be quite so quick to moan about me
23:05when you look in your blooming stockings in future.
23:09Nobody's perfect.
23:14Can't wait to get to me blooming bed.
23:18I'm going to put the blooming put on as well, I suppose.
23:42Might as well take mine up for when I wake up for me lunch.
23:46Might as well take mine up for me, really.
23:50That'll be another blooming awful tie from Auntie Edie.
23:54And here we have the usual ghastly blooming socks from Cousin Violet.
24:01But, this will be more like it.
24:05Good old Uncle Bob.
24:12That's that for another blooming year.
24:22An happy blooming Christmas to you and all.
24:42Poor old Father Christmas.
24:45He never sees Christmas morn.
24:48He works so hard on Christmas Eve.
24:52He's asleep before the dawn.
24:56Dear old Father Christmas.
24:59We think you're very kind.
25:02And if you get a little grumpy.
25:06We don't really mind.
25:09Thank you, Father Christmas.
25:13From every boy and girl.
25:16And all the children everywhere.
25:20In the whole white blooming world.
25:35So from me and my reindeer, we'll see you all next year for another blooming Christmas.
25:56Merry Blooming Christmas.