- 11 hours ago
ENG Merry Prince-Mas
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:08This is the worst Christmas ever.
00:00:15Oh, Belle, I hope I have one more holiday.
00:00:19But if I don't, my dying wish is that you be engaged by Christmas.
00:00:25Well, Grandpa, I am engaged.
00:00:31We're getting married on New Year's.
00:00:32He drove all the way here to New York with me just to meet you.
00:00:36His name is Todd.
00:00:37Let me go get him, okay?
00:00:39Just get some rest.
00:00:40Look.
00:00:43Oh, yeah.
00:00:45That's it, brother.
00:00:50Todd, what are you doing?
00:00:51Whoa, hey.
00:00:54Guess this is a bad time to say I want to break up.
00:00:56Todd, what the fuck?
00:00:57Are you cheating on me in front of me?
00:01:00I never want to see you again.
00:01:02Hey, what's her deal?
00:01:09Well, don't worry.
00:01:11Your grandpa's going to make a full recovery.
00:01:13Your engagement gave him the will to live through Christmas.
00:01:19Who am I going to bring home for Christmas?
00:01:26I can't believe I have to hire a prostitute to be my fake boyfriend.
00:01:49I can't believe I have to hire a prostitute to be my fake boyfriend.
00:01:51Please, your highness.
00:01:52We can't do this.
00:01:54We must go back to Monrovia for Christmas now.
00:01:58No.
00:01:58Peterson, if I go back now, my mother will have me engaged to some boring European socialite
00:02:03by New Year's.
00:02:04No, I just, for once, I want a normal holiday.
00:02:10Ah, and we have one other issue.
00:02:13Your mother, the queen, is on the phone now.
00:02:20Hi, mother.
00:02:21Henry, I want you to come home at once.
00:02:24I can't, mother, because I'm spending the holidays with my girlfriend.
00:02:31Girlfriend?
00:02:33Nonsense, really.
00:02:34Who is she?
00:02:35Oh, don't tell me.
00:02:36She's American.
00:02:37She is an American.
00:02:39She's an American heiress.
00:02:42A shoe heiress.
00:02:45The reception, it's bad.
00:02:48Gotta go.
00:02:52Sir, you cannot lie to the queen like that.
00:02:56Why on earth did you hire a model?
00:03:00Because with the photos of the model you hired, I can prove to my mother that I have a girlfriend
00:03:05and I can have an American Christmas alone.
00:03:10Well, at least take off that silly hat.
00:03:13No, I like it.
00:03:19What the hell are you doing?
00:03:22You hit me.
00:03:22What?
00:03:22You hit me.
00:03:23Well, you're the idiot that wasn't paying attention.
00:03:26Who rides a scooter in winter?
00:03:27God, you Americans are so self-involved.
00:03:30Okay, listen, jerk one.
00:03:31I am late and I'm trying to meet somebody and...
00:03:33Shit.
00:03:34He's wearing a Santa hat.
00:03:36He's the prostitute I have.
00:03:38It's you.
00:03:42This must be the model Peterson hired.
00:03:45Yes.
00:03:46It's me.
00:03:48All right, why don't we get this photo over with?
00:03:50Why?
00:03:50I don't have time for all the regality.
00:03:53Hey, wait, why are you taking a photo of me?
00:03:55Why doesn't she know about the photo?
00:03:57She must not be the model Peterson hired.
00:04:00Why don't you just go around taking photos of strangers?
00:04:02That's pretty creepy.
00:04:02You know that, right?
00:04:03Oh my God, she thinks that's creepy.
00:04:06Miss, I'm...
00:04:07Okay, look, I don't know you and I don't care.
00:04:09I have to be at my grandpa's in an hour.
00:04:10She has no clue.
00:04:11I'm a prince.
00:04:12Look, I can only pay you $5,000 for you to come home with me.
00:04:15You have an email?
00:04:15American girls are so forward.
00:04:18$5,000.
00:04:20Dude, listen.
00:04:21I don't have much time.
00:04:21I mean, that's my entire savings.
00:04:22Do we have a deal or not?
00:04:24Listen, there must be some sort of confusion.
00:04:30One moment.
00:04:32She's just going to keep calling if I don't pick up.
00:04:35Mother, I don't have time for this.
00:04:36I know you're with your new fiancée.
00:04:39I just wanted to call and say she's gorgeous.
00:04:42You have my blessing to stay there for Christmas.
00:04:45I do?
00:04:47That's great.
00:04:48Okay, bye.
00:04:49Oh my God, my mother thinks she's my fiancée.
00:04:52If I go back to Monrovia, I'll be in an arranged marriage with a snob by February.
00:04:56What is the confusion?
00:04:57I pay you to come home with me until Christmas and pretend to be my boyfriend until New Year's.
00:05:01Do we have a deal or not?
00:05:03We've got a deal.
00:05:06You've got a deal.
00:05:08Good.
00:05:09Who do I Venmo?
00:05:10I don't have a wallet.
00:05:11Much less of Venmo.
00:05:13Make something up.
00:05:14Henry.
00:05:15Just Henry.
00:05:17That's the one that comes up.
00:05:20Sent.
00:05:21Now, here are the rules.
00:05:22This is my grandpa's last Christmas and he's very sick.
00:05:25I don't have the heart to tell him that I broke up with my boyfriend and any upset could kill
00:05:29him.
00:05:29So no surprises, no lies.
00:05:31And also, I am not having sex with you.
00:05:33Sex?
00:05:35We just met.
00:05:36This prostitute is weird.
00:05:38It's a long drive to my parents, so I'll meet you there in about six hours.
00:05:42Just show up as a normal American guy who loves Christmas, okay?
00:05:46Oh, and, um, drop the accent.
00:05:50Accent.
00:05:51Your mother wants more pics of your fiancé.
00:05:54I mean this with utmost respect, but what the hell are you doing?
00:05:59Peterson, it's perfect.
00:06:01My mother and the press will leave me alone.
00:06:03I can have a real American Christmas.
00:06:06She doesn't know who I am.
00:06:07I can just be a normal guy.
00:06:08As long as you're discreet about it, no one should know who you are.
00:06:14They won't.
00:06:16We have one hour to find American clothes for my American Christmas.
00:06:20Get some clothes for you and the guards as well.
00:06:22Soon, you and I will be in a lovely place called Buffalo.
00:06:34Oh, sweetie, I'm so glad you're here.
00:06:38Oh, let's get you inside.
00:06:40Well, if it isn't Grandpa's former favorite.
00:06:44Merry Christmas, loser.
00:06:46Are you here solo again?
00:06:50Merry Christmas to you too, Katie.
00:06:53Belle, Katie's going to need the room with the bigger bed this time.
00:06:57She has a brand new, very rich boyfriend.
00:07:00And you, of course, are coming home alone again.
00:07:05Actually, I am...
00:07:07Don't be silly.
00:07:08Mom, she's just a single loser.
00:07:11Look at her.
00:07:12She's ugly and her snatch is dry.
00:07:15Okay.
00:07:16Well, I can see why she's still single.
00:07:19Look at these love handles.
00:07:21Stop.
00:07:21Okay.
00:07:22You know, not all guys like more cushion for the push-in.
00:07:27Fatty.
00:07:27No more cookies for you this Christmas.
00:07:31If you keep it up, I'll shove a cookie up your ass.
00:07:34Okay, both of you.
00:07:35Now stop.
00:07:36So sensitive.
00:07:38She's just jealous because I can keep a man.
00:07:41Oh, my God.
00:07:42Does she know?
00:07:45Actually, I am seeing someone.
00:07:48Yeah, right.
00:07:49Is he imaginary?
00:07:52Are you hallucinating?
00:07:53I think you should go, Belle.
00:07:57I don't think Grandpa's heart could take the side of a single loser.
00:08:07I am not single.
00:08:08I have a boyfriend, and he's going to be here any minute.
00:08:11If you have a boyfriend, then where is he?
00:08:14If he doesn't show up, all hell will break loose.
00:08:36Darling, where shall I put these?
00:08:41Meet my boyfriend, bitch.
00:08:52Who the hell is he?
00:08:55Mom.
00:08:56Aunt Moira.
00:08:57Katie.
00:08:59This is...
00:09:00Henry.
00:09:01Henry von...
00:09:03Oh, I call bullshit.
00:09:05This is just some guy she got off the street.
00:09:09And this car, obviously a fake.
00:09:14Why are you driving a Bentley with the royal family emblem?
00:09:19Well, I'm actually a driver for the royal family of Monrovia.
00:09:31A driver?
00:09:32Like, a servant?
00:09:35That's pathetic, though.
00:09:37Did he come with the car?
00:09:38Well, Grandpa's definitely going to have a heart attack when he realizes how desperate you are.
00:09:47Nice to meet you.
00:09:48Thanks.
00:09:50Merry Christmas.
00:09:50Oh, thank you.
00:09:51Merry Christmas.
00:09:53Forget about them.
00:09:54Let's just try to have a calm Christmas for Grandpa.
00:09:58I'll go finish dinner preparations.
00:10:04The royal driver?
00:10:06What was your plan?
00:10:07I'll pretend to be the prince of Monrovia?
00:10:09The prince.
00:10:12The prince, imagine.
00:10:14No, no, I'm just a regular guy who likes a regular American Christmas.
00:10:21Okay.
00:10:22But look, I'm not paying extra for that Bentley.
00:10:24Oh, don't worry about that.
00:10:25I'm good friends with the driver.
00:10:28Anyway, your family seems pretty intense.
00:10:33May I ask why an amazing woman like yourself needs to hire someone to be a boyfriend?
00:10:40My fiancé left me a few weeks ago.
00:10:42Grandpa's just pretty fragile and I haven't had the heart to tell him the truth.
00:10:46I know what it feels to have to live up to your family's expectations.
00:10:52Whoever your ex is, he sounds like an idiot.
00:10:57Belle, Henry, meet my new boyfriend.
00:11:04Todd, what are you doing?
00:11:08My cousin screwed my ex.
00:11:14Do you two know each other?
00:11:24Merry Christmas, Grandpa.
00:11:26Stop.
00:11:31You're fucking my cousin?
00:11:33You say anything and I'll tell Grandpa that you were busy getting railed by some guy while he was on
00:11:39his deathbed.
00:11:40You won't want to upset him, won't you?
00:11:46No, Grandpa.
00:11:48Todd and I have never met.
00:11:50Remember when I told you my fiance cheated on me?
00:11:53Turns out he's fucking my cousin.
00:11:56That also is her ex.
00:11:58Grandpa, I want you to meet my new boyfriend though, Henry.
00:12:02Her boyfriend?
00:12:04Lovely to meet you, Grandpa.
00:12:08Any man who gets to be with Belle is the luckiest man in the world.
00:12:12No.
00:12:13He's a driver for the royal family.
00:12:16Allegedly.
00:12:17Oh, nice.
00:12:19Both my girls are happy and in love.
00:12:22That's going to help me make it through this Christmas season.
00:12:25Uh, well, I hate to ruin Christmas, Grandpa, but Belle is lying.
00:12:31There is no way that this loser is her boyfriend.
00:12:36Uh, Belle?
00:12:38Is this true?
00:12:40If he finds out Henry is a cowboy, the drama could kill him.
00:12:46This loser isn't her boyfriend.
00:12:48She paid him.
00:12:50And how would you know that, Todd?
00:12:53Oh, I know a lot more than you think.
00:12:54Yes, sir.
00:12:56Okay, hey.
00:12:57How about you focus on your relationship instead of mine?
00:13:00Because you're lying to this family.
00:13:02It's obviously some homeless guy you picked up off the street.
00:13:05Are you paying him to screw you, too?
00:13:08Oh.
00:13:09Well, unlike your new boyfriend, I don't have to pay to get some.
00:13:12You lying twat.
00:13:16You want another?
00:13:19Please stop fighting.
00:13:21You're upsetting Grandpa.
00:13:23I'm sorry, Grandpa, but it's better that you know that little Miss Perfect is paying a prostitute.
00:13:29That's insane.
00:13:30You have no proof.
00:13:31Oh, yes we do.
00:13:32Your Venmo receipts.
00:13:35Shouldn't have made them public.
00:13:36Look, I can only pay you $5,000 for you to come home with me.
00:13:39You have Venmo?
00:13:40Shit.
00:13:41The Venmo.
00:13:42Ah, right here.
00:13:43Looks like you paid someone $5,000.
00:13:45What the hell?
00:13:49Oh my God.
00:13:52Wait, what are those men here for?
00:14:00What men?
00:14:07First you break my phone and then you break my face, you idiot.
00:14:10I could have done much worse.
00:14:12You're very lucky.
00:14:13It's okay, baby.
00:14:15I could open my phone and prove Little Miss Perfect is lying.
00:14:20She Venmoed $5,000 to some guy named Henry.
00:14:25Well, that doesn't prove anything.
00:14:27Yes, it does.
00:14:29No.
00:14:29First of all, why would I use my own name?
00:14:32And second, Henry is the most popular name in the United States.
00:14:36And third, look closer.
00:14:38That account belongs to a Henry Wong.
00:14:42Look at that picture.
00:14:42That's an Asian man.
00:14:44That's an Asian man.
00:14:46Then why did you pay $5,000 to some guy named Henry with a house emoji next to it?
00:14:52Thank God.
00:14:52I must have ended with some random Henry.
00:14:55Okay.
00:14:56Think fast, though.
00:14:57Because Henry Wong is, um...
00:15:00He's my new landlord.
00:15:03There, there, it's settled.
00:15:05Now, could we please just go and have a peaceful dinner together?
00:15:10I would love that.
00:15:12Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:15:13Let's go.
00:15:15Okay, baby.
00:15:20We may have our geriatric grandpa fooled, but I don't believe that guy's your boyfriend
00:15:25for a second.
00:15:26Hmm?
00:15:27What, are you trying to fuck him, too?
00:15:29Laugh all you want, but I have the man, and grandpa's gonna die soon, so I'll get the house,
00:15:36too!
00:15:37What are you talking about?
00:15:38Oh, he didn't tell you, did he?
00:15:43Everybody, I have an important announcement.
00:15:47I've been thinking long and hard over who will get the house after I'm gone, so I've
00:15:53made a decision.
00:15:55Whichever one of my granddaughters marries first, gets the house immediately.
00:16:05But, but mom still lives here.
00:16:08Maybe she can live on the street, or she can rent back from us until we bulldoze it.
00:16:12You can't bulldoze it.
00:16:14Well, we've had every Christmas here.
00:16:16This is where all of our memories are.
00:16:18Maybe if you had kept your man happy, you wouldn't be in this position.
00:16:25Oh, unlike you, who's been in every position?
00:16:28I should get an award for rescuing Todd from a fish, whose only talent was to play dead.
00:16:34Oh, yeah.
00:16:36Okay, we need to stop fighting.
00:16:37You're hurting Grandpa.
00:16:38Your whore face is hurting him.
00:16:40Stop breathing, bitch.
00:16:43I can't stand this fighting.
00:16:45Don't worry, Gramps.
00:16:46I know how to stop the fighting.
00:16:53He's proposing to her with the ring he gave me?
00:16:56Katie, the most beautiful woman on this planet.
00:17:01Will you marry me?
00:17:02Yes, Todd, yes!
00:17:04Yes, yes!
00:17:09The house is mine, the ring is mine, and the man is mine.
00:17:14Merry Christmas to me, bitch!
00:17:18Katie?
00:17:20Wait!
00:17:21Wait!
00:17:24Wait!
00:17:25Wait!
00:17:28What are you doing?
00:17:30Bill!
00:17:33Will you marry me?
00:17:38Say yes!
00:17:39What are you waiting for?
00:17:40You want to keep the house, don't you?
00:17:45Grandpa does look really happy.
00:17:49Yes!
00:17:51Yes!
00:17:53Oh, a perfect Christmas, a double wedding.
00:17:58You hijacked my proposal.
00:17:59You hijacked my boyfriend.
00:18:01You are so selfish, Bill.
00:18:02You always make everything all about you.
00:18:05These two losers are just trying to steal Grandpa's house.
00:18:08You weren't planning on proposing.
00:18:09Where's your ring?
00:18:10Where is it?
00:18:11Where is it?
00:18:11I have a...
00:18:13I have a ring right here.
00:18:15I didn't want to make Todd's look so pathetic.
00:18:18It's much larger.
00:18:19Wow.
00:18:20How the hell did he get that?
00:18:23It doesn't matter.
00:18:24What matters is, my two granddaughters are going to be married before I die.
00:18:31It's a Christmas miracle.
00:18:34A double wedding.
00:18:35I can hardly believe this.
00:18:37Me neither.
00:18:38Okay, but who gets the house, Grandpa?
00:18:41We were technically engaged first.
00:18:43You're right.
00:18:44Pete, that does make things more complicated.
00:18:49Your grandmother loved having Christmas in this house more than anything.
00:18:55So whoever shows the most Christmas spirit gets the house.
00:19:00Oh.
00:19:01It's a great idea, Grandpa.
00:19:04But if you guys would just excuse me, I would like to talk to my fiancé alone for just a
00:19:10minute.
00:19:11Yeah.
00:19:15Where's the ham?
00:19:18What the hell is wrong with you?
00:19:19You just proposed to me in front of my entire family?
00:19:24Look, you were supposed to be my fake boyfriend until New Year's, not my fiancé.
00:19:28I'm sorry.
00:19:29I just got caught up in the moment.
00:19:31What if you think you're going to get paid extra for this in this big ring?
00:19:34You are insane.
00:19:36You should be thanking me.
00:19:38I'm the one who saved you from your psychotic cousin getting your grandpa's house.
00:19:42Okay, listen, buddy.
00:19:43I am not some damsel in distress.
00:19:45I don't need to be saved.
00:19:46Really?
00:19:47Because last time I checked, I wasn't the one hiring a fake boyfriend for Christmas.
00:19:51Huh.
00:19:52Which was going perfectly fine until you lied, said you were driver for the royal family of
00:19:57Monrovia, and then proposed to me.
00:20:01I could go out there right now and tell your family everything.
00:20:05You want that?
00:20:06What you can do is drop this annoying fish-out-of-water act and stick to the plan.
00:20:14I don't think you find me annoying.
00:20:17I think you find me quite charming.
00:20:26I find you exhausting.
00:20:30Hmm.
00:20:33And what the hell are you doing with that kind of a ring?
00:20:35Who are you?
00:20:36What are you two doing in the pantry?
00:20:42I am so sorry.
00:20:45I didn't mean to interrupt.
00:20:47Oh, no, it's okay.
00:20:48You just can't keep his hands on me.
00:20:51That's right.
00:20:52I can't get enough of my pookie.
00:20:54You two little lovebirds.
00:20:56I just came to show you where you'd be sleeping.
00:21:01Look, we fake the engagement until the trip is over.
00:21:04But until then, do not blow our cover.
00:21:07Deal.
00:21:14Peterson, I'm releasing you.
00:21:16I need you to call off the guards.
00:21:17But, sir...
00:21:18I will call you if I need you.
00:21:21Other than that, enjoy your Christmas.
00:21:23But your mother, sir...
00:21:25That's an order.
00:21:26Goodbye.
00:21:30The room isn't that big.
00:21:32No problem at all.
00:21:34We love the cuddle.
00:21:36Oh, and Todd and Katie are in the next room over.
00:21:39Great.
00:21:39I'm sharing a wall with my ex and the psycho he left me for.
00:21:43Let me know if you guys need anything.
00:21:54One bed?
00:21:55Are you serious?
00:21:58Might be hard to keep my distance.
00:22:03Don't worry.
00:22:05We won't make too much noise with all the boning we're about to do.
00:22:09Ew.
00:22:09Oh, that's right, Belle.
00:22:11You don't know how to make a man make noise.
00:22:13Mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm.
00:22:16Good night.
00:22:17Mm-hmm.
00:22:18Ow, my nose.
00:22:19Oh.
00:22:23Oh, absolutely not.
00:22:25I'm not one of your clients.
00:22:27Clients?
00:22:28Hmm.
00:22:28Must be an American term.
00:22:30Well, um...
00:22:31I'll just take a shower and sleep on the floor, I guess.
00:22:49Oh, come on.
00:22:50Where's my phone?
00:22:57Okay, whatever.
00:23:00Oh, I'm sorry.
00:23:01I'm sorry.
00:23:09Oh, my God.
00:23:10Oh, my God.
00:23:12Bollocks.
00:23:13I'm so sorry.
00:23:14No, no, it's fine.
00:23:15I, I, I'm just, I'm just gonna go.
00:23:22Oh.
00:23:23Yeah, of course.
00:23:28May I?
00:23:29Yeah, yeah, whatever you need.
00:23:38Sorry, I, um, sleep shirtless.
00:23:41Hope you don't mind.
00:23:42Nope.
00:23:43Right.
00:23:48You know, it's bad enough my ex broke my heart and crashed Christmas and now we have to share
00:23:52a freaking wall with them.
00:23:53I'm sorry.
00:23:54That's awful.
00:23:55Want me to sing you a lullaby?
00:23:57No.
00:24:00Good night.
00:24:06Oh, my God.
00:24:07Are they having sex?
00:24:10Okay, this is my nightmare.
00:24:15I have an idea that might make them jealous.
00:24:17What?
00:24:18We should have sex.
00:24:23No, I am not sleeping with you.
00:24:25No, no, no, pretend sex.
00:24:27We just got engaged, so it would be weird if we didn't have sex, right?
00:24:32Okay, so how do we have pretend sex?
00:24:37I'll show you.
00:24:39Belle!
00:24:40Belle, oh, my God.
00:24:42That feels so good, Belle.
00:24:44I'm not doing that.
00:24:52Fine, let's do it.
00:24:53Okay.
00:24:55Belle, you're the sexiest woman alive.
00:24:58Oh, Henry, this is the best sex I've ever had.
00:25:01Oh, Henry, order.
00:25:02Oh, my God, Belle.
00:25:04No!
00:25:07This is what I'm doing.
00:25:08This is all.
00:25:09It's crazy.
00:25:10It's a good idea.
00:25:10No!
00:25:11No!
00:25:34What am I doing?
00:25:36I'm paying him.
00:25:37He's a professional sex worker.
00:25:39Hey, I think that's enough pretending for tonight.
00:25:43Right.
00:25:44I guess we just go a little carried away.
00:25:48Good night.
00:25:50Good night.
00:25:50Good night.
00:26:10There's no way those two are having sex.
00:26:12I bet they're not even in the same bed.
00:26:16One way to find out.
00:26:23You better hurry up, because round two is waiting for you.
00:26:30Did you hear that?
00:26:32Shit, I forgot to lock the door.
00:26:38I knew it!
00:26:58I could get used to America.
00:27:05You watching me sleep?
00:27:08Uh, no.
00:27:10Uh, um, Belle.
00:27:13About last night, I, uh...
00:27:18Don't fall for him, Belle.
00:27:21He has sex for a living.
00:27:23I'm probably just another client.
00:27:26Uh, we don't have to talk about it.
00:27:29I, I, I think it's best if we keep things professional.
00:27:34Professional.
00:27:35Right.
00:27:36Hmm.
00:27:37Of course.
00:27:41Uh, well...
00:27:42I, I should...
00:27:44I'll probably wrap Grandpa's gift before you wake up, huh?
00:27:49I could have sworn she felt good, too, last night, but, uh, maybe she was just pretending.
00:28:04Bullocks.
00:28:06I think I like this girl.
00:28:10Uh, it's perfect.
00:28:17Grandpa's gonna love it.
00:28:19I can't wait to turn Belle's sweet gift to Grandpa into trash.
00:28:25Look, we just have to get their Christmas presents at the house, and we'll be fine.
00:28:30Hmm.
00:28:33Grandpa Joe, in the spirit of Christmas, we've decided we're throwing you a holiday party.
00:28:40Katie, that's so thoughtful of you.
00:28:43It's so thoughtful of us, yes.
00:28:45Better brush up on your Monrovian lies, Mr. Uber driver.
00:28:49The party is at a Monrovian restaurant.
00:28:51Better get packing.
00:28:54Okay.
00:28:55If I go to a Monrovian restaurant, people will recognize me.
00:29:02No one will know I'm the Prince in this cheesy Christmas sweater.
00:29:09Your Highness.
00:29:17Why is the busboy bowing?
00:29:21Monrovian custom.
00:29:24How do you do?
00:29:28Thank you for your service.
00:29:30That is the dumbest custom I have ever heard of.
00:29:33Maybe I can actually get away with this.
00:29:37Oh my god, it's you.
00:29:43Oh my god, it's you.
00:29:46So good to see you.
00:29:48Monrovian.
00:29:49Such a small country.
00:29:51Listen, these people don't know who I am, so your discretion is appreciated, okay?
00:29:56Of course, sir.
00:30:00The busboy will show you to your table.
00:30:03Right, uh, right this way.
00:30:10The Prince of Monrovian touched me.
00:30:24That's it?
00:30:25Just one gift in a cheap gift bag?
00:30:27That's what you get for having a broke fiancé.
00:30:30Well, for your information, I got this gift on my own.
00:30:33Not everyone needs a man to support them.
00:30:36Why don't you and your broke boyfriend take your shitty gift and go sit over there at the bar?
00:30:43Grandpa doesn't need anything fancy.
00:30:45He wanted a gift from the heart.
00:30:47But you wouldn't understand that, because you don't have one, do you, Katie?
00:30:50I might be heartless, but at least I won't be homeless.
00:30:53The house is mine, whoreface.
00:30:59Wow, so many gifts.
00:31:02Thanks to my finance fiancé, we got you an all-you-can-eat Royal Cruz Cabo worth $200,000.
00:31:13This is very generous, indeed.
00:31:16We can all go together after you give us the house.
00:31:19Belle, did you and the help?
00:31:21I mean, your fiancé.
00:31:24Get Grandpa anything for Christmas?
00:31:26Sure.
00:31:27It's right here.
00:31:29Oh, my God.
00:31:32They replaced my gift with dog shit?
00:31:35Don't be embarrassed.
00:31:36Let's see it.
00:31:40Oh, my God, Belle, you ungrateful bitch.
00:31:45You got Grandpa dog shit?
00:31:47No, I...
00:31:48Grandpa, look what Belle and that loser got you for Christmas.
00:31:53Oh!
00:31:59Oops.
00:32:10I'm so sorry, ma'am.
00:32:12These are Jimmy Choo's!
00:32:14You got poo all over my choos!
00:32:16Get it off!
00:32:16Get it off!
00:32:18Ugh!
00:32:19Let me clean that up for you.
00:32:25Grandpa, that wasn't your gift.
00:32:27Give me one moment.
00:32:30You asshole.
00:32:31You switched the bags.
00:32:33Where is my gift for Grandpa?
00:32:35Oh, that old suit?
00:32:36Well, I donated it.
00:32:37I thought it was for the homeless shelter.
00:32:38You threw away my gift for Grandpa and replaced it with shit?
00:32:41To be fair, it was a pretty shitty gift to begin with.
00:32:45Guess you don't have anything to give to Grandpa.
00:32:48This is ridiculous.
00:32:50I'm going to tell him the truth.
00:32:52You sure you want to start another fight, Belle?
00:32:54Wouldn't that upset Grandpa?
00:32:56Huh?
00:32:58What's going on?
00:32:59Belle, wasn't I supposed to be opening your gift now?
00:33:03I would rather Grandpa think I didn't get him anything than risk his health.
00:33:07Well, Grandpa, I'm sorry I didn't get you a gift.
00:33:11I...
00:33:11Um, that's right.
00:33:13She didn't get you just one gift.
00:33:15Um, she got you many.
00:33:19Peterson!
00:33:31Well, let's see what you got, loser.
00:33:34I'm in finance.
00:33:36He does investments for J.P. Morgan and you?
00:33:39You opened doors for people.
00:33:42There's no way you can afford better gifts than one.
00:33:46Oh, really?
00:33:47Yeah.
00:33:49Grandpa Joe, Merry Christmas.
00:33:52The royal crystal glass statue signed by the late, great King George III on his deathbed.
00:34:00That's his signature.
00:34:02How does he even have that?
00:34:03Second, the deed to a castle in the Czech Republic.
00:34:10It's quite roomy, actually.
00:34:12Indeed.
00:34:13Oh, and, um, Belle mentioned that you liked my Rolex, so you may have it.
00:34:20You're giving me your watch?
00:34:23Yes.
00:34:23I don't know if this is too generous, is it?
00:34:26Please, I insist.
00:34:27I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Grandpa, but there's no way a bottom feeder who sits
00:34:33in traffic for a living could afford this.
00:34:37It's fake.
00:34:38Looks real to me.
00:34:40Mm-mm.
00:34:41That's not King George III's signature.
00:34:44Because this is his real signature.
00:34:47Yeah, look at that.
00:34:48That means that this is worthless.
00:34:52Go!
00:34:56Oh, what are you doing?
00:34:59You just smashed a $20 million statue.
00:35:03His signature looked like that because he was on his deathbed.
00:35:09He was dying.
00:35:11No, he can't.
00:35:12Please, just stop this fighting.
00:35:16Please stop all this insanity.
00:35:18Grandpa's heart can't take this.
00:35:20Fine, for the sake of Christmas, we'll pretend the statue was real.
00:35:25But this...
00:35:27Who even has handwritten deeds anymore?
00:35:29Hello?
00:35:30Like, no one.
00:35:35That deed was written in 1756 before computers were invented.
00:35:44Yeah, right.
00:35:46And I'm sure this royal Rolex right here is ancient, too, huh?
00:35:51Get that back.
00:35:51Get that back.
00:35:52How you make a fool out of grandpa with your cheap knockoff on Christmas of all days,
00:35:57you're a sadistic psychopath.
00:36:01Todd, stop it!
00:36:03Whatever.
00:36:04I can get grandpa 10 Rolexes if I wanted, and all of them would be real.
00:36:08Oh, only the royal Rolex watch has diamond gears.
00:36:16You just smashed the royal Rolex.
00:36:24Oh, fuck.
00:36:25That watch is real.
00:36:25Of course it's real.
00:36:27All of this is real, you fool.
00:36:29Ah, you idiots!
00:36:32The castle is real!
00:36:35We could have used that money!
00:36:39You brought this man into our family?
00:36:43This man who ruins Christmas!
00:36:46All of the gifts are destroyed!
00:36:49Well, um, not, uh, not every gift, Grandpa Joe.
00:36:56This one is, uh, from Belle and I.
00:37:10This is the true meaning of Christmas.
00:37:15Katie, you two keep doing this, and you better find a hotel to stay in it, Chris.
00:37:25Oh, hey, hey, hey!
00:37:27The hell are we gonna do now?
00:37:28Rebel will for sure get them the house.
00:37:31Once I expose Belle's boyfriend as a fraud, she's never getting the house.
00:37:36J.P. Morgan just promoted me.
00:37:39I have access to the royal accounts.
00:37:43I can prove he's not on the royal payroll.
00:37:45You're a genius, baby!
00:37:48J.P.
00:37:53I would like to give a formal apology for storing the gifts, but I promise I'll replace
00:37:58all of them thanks to my new promotion.
00:38:01Cheers to my new loaded fiancé, J.P. Morgan's new account manager to the royal family!
00:38:12He's the account manager for the royal family.
00:38:14He'll find out who I am.
00:38:18He's gonna say that you don't really work for the royal family.
00:38:21We're screwed!
00:38:22It's okay.
00:38:22Don't worry about that.
00:38:24This guy is full of crap, and I'm going to prove it.
00:38:28Congratulations, Todd.
00:38:30Now tell me, how did you land such a marvelous job?
00:38:34Well, I've been courting the royal family for months now, treating them to five-star
00:38:39dinners, designer suits, and yacht parties.
00:38:42I bet you've never been to Lake Romo, the royal family, have you, bitch?
00:38:49That's a lie.
00:38:50I've never heard of this man in my life.
00:38:53That's great.
00:38:54Well, if you'll excuse me, I have to use the loo.
00:39:08Hello?
00:39:10Your Highness, sir.
00:39:12Our new account manager is misappropriating funds.
00:39:15He's spending it on yacht parties and five-star dinners.
00:39:19Look into it.
00:39:20Of course, of course, Your Highness.
00:39:22I am so sorry.
00:39:23I will take care of this.
00:39:24Great.
00:39:27Gary!
00:39:29Bring me the royal account!
00:39:32Well, it's the man of the hour.
00:39:35I was just about to tell everyone about how you're lying to all of them.
00:39:39You're not a driver for the royal family.
00:39:43What are you talking about?
00:39:45Grandpa, this liar isn't even employed by the royal family because he isn't on the royal
00:39:51payroll.
00:39:53I'm not on the payroll because I get paid in Monrovian cash.
00:40:01Really?
00:40:02Then where is it?
00:40:03Okay.
00:40:04I've got some right here.
00:40:08My face is on the cash.
00:40:10Let's see that Monrovian cash.
00:40:15Oh, the insane person would rip up cash.
00:40:21And isn't it a felony?
00:40:23She's right.
00:40:24Ripping up cash is a felony.
00:40:25Come on, explain yourself.
00:40:27That's right.
00:40:27It's a felony in America.
00:40:29But in Monrovia, it's a tradition.
00:40:34That's right.
00:40:35It's a New Year's tradition.
00:40:36We tear up the first bill of the year.
00:40:42Darn it.
00:40:43I'm all out of cash.
00:40:44What a hot tradition.
00:40:46You see, I live with the royal family, so typically they cover all my expenses for my services.
00:40:53Technically not a lie.
00:40:55Really?
00:40:55Then how do you buy things?
00:40:58Like fake gifts.
00:41:00Oh, I know.
00:41:01You stole them.
00:41:02No, I don't steal.
00:41:03No, I use my card.
00:41:07See?
00:41:08That's the royal Monrovian credit card.
00:41:11Oh, please.
00:41:12Anyone can tell that card is fake, just like everything else about him.
00:41:15Well, there's one way to find out.
00:41:17Put the entire party on that card, hmm?
00:41:20Waitress?
00:41:21Could we get the check?
00:41:23Over there.
00:41:24The total is $10,000.
00:41:27Hey, look, you don't actually have to pay.
00:41:29We can just tell them.
00:41:30You don't have anything to prove.
00:41:32Run the card.
00:41:37Thank you so much, Your Highness.
00:41:40The card went through?
00:41:41The card works.
00:41:44Okay, great.
00:41:45My fiancé covered your entire Christmas party, so let's drop it.
00:41:47Now.
00:41:48Not unless you stole it from the royal family of Monrovia.
00:41:51I demand that you read the name on that card.
00:41:54Whose name is it?
00:41:56Oh, no.
00:41:57My real name is on the card.
00:42:04Who the hell is Harold Bunrovingham?
00:42:07He doesn't know my real name.
00:42:09This is in his card.
00:42:10He stole it!
00:42:11Wait, let me see that.
00:42:13Why does this have the royal insignia on it?
00:42:16You stole the prince's card?
00:42:18Well, you should be sent to jail for identity theft.
00:42:23What sort of a person did you bring into our family, Belle?
00:42:27Tell me.
00:42:28Tell me it's not true.
00:42:29No, I didn't.
00:42:30He didn't.
00:42:31That's...
00:42:31You stole the credit card.
00:42:33No, no.
00:42:34I didn't steal the card.
00:42:36The prince gave it to me.
00:42:41The prince gave it to you?
00:42:44All right.
00:42:45Give him a call, then.
00:42:46Have him confirm it.
00:42:47Yeah, call him and put it on speakerphone.
00:42:50I've got to call the prince.
00:42:51The prince is me.
00:42:53Okay, everybody stop.
00:42:55Okay, the truth has to come out.
00:42:57Grandpa, I am so, so sorry.
00:43:00Henry has been lying to everybody.
00:43:03Henry can't call the prince because he is the prince.
00:43:12Him?
00:43:16Well, then I'm the Sultan of Brunei.
00:43:20I think the waitress has been drinking.
00:43:23You should go before I get you fired.
00:43:26Honestly, if he's stealing the royal credit card, who knows what else he's capable of.
00:43:30Aunt Moira is right.
00:43:31You are a danger to this family, and I'm going to call the cops.
00:43:35You're finished.
00:43:36Okay, you have to tell him the truth.
00:43:38You could go to jail for life.
00:43:39I have a feeling this will all be sorted out soon.
00:43:42No, you don't understand.
00:43:43In America, what you do for a living is not legal.
00:43:47What I do for a living?
00:43:49What the bloody hell are you talking about?
00:43:53Well, cops are called.
00:43:54You're finished, Uber boy.
00:43:56You're going to be spending the rest of your life behind bars.
00:44:03Oh, perfect timing.
00:44:04You're under arrest for embezzlement.
00:44:06Even if he proves she's not embezzling, they'll find out he's a cowboy and lock him up forever.
00:44:11Officer, I swear there must be a misunderstanding.
00:44:17I'm...
00:44:18Not you, him.
00:44:21Me?
00:44:21Whoa, whoa, whoa, I called you guys.
00:44:24What are you talking about?
00:44:25Ah, DeMoss, you're under arrest for embezzling funds from J.P. Morgan and the royal family of Monrovia.
00:44:29No, I don't know what you're talking about.
00:44:33200K cruise ship, yacht party, designer suits sound familiar?
00:44:36This is a setup.
00:44:38My future son-in-law would never do that.
00:44:40Yeah, you should arrest him for fraud and identity theft.
00:44:44He schemed this entire thing.
00:44:46Just give me one phone call.
00:44:48I will call the CEO of J.P. Morgan and he will clear all of this up.
00:44:56There he is right now.
00:44:58Huh.
00:44:59Thank God you called, sir.
00:45:00You are fired, fuckwad.
00:45:02You have been stealing from J.P. Morgan for months.
00:45:04Enjoy prison, asshole.
00:45:08Whoa.
00:45:10Baby, baby.
00:45:11You believe me, right?
00:45:12You believe me, don't you?
00:45:13You'll bail me out.
00:45:14You love me.
00:45:15You love me.
00:45:15Don't insult me, Todd.
00:45:17I don't date poor people.
00:45:19We're done.
00:45:22Babe.
00:45:22Babe, that's not possible.
00:45:24I can't go to jail.
00:45:25I'm scared of dropping the soap, baby.
00:45:29Okay, how did you pull that off?
00:45:31How do you know people like J.P. Morgan?
00:45:32Well, I should tell them the truth.
00:45:34We, um, we're together.
00:45:37Oh, my God.
00:45:38He has clients at J.P. Morgan.
00:45:40I'm sorry.
00:45:41No, actually.
00:45:42It's okay.
00:45:42The details aren't important.
00:45:44You got me the house and that's what matters.
00:45:47You can wipe that smug smile off of your twat face.
00:45:51You don't have the house yet.
00:45:55Grandpa said whichever granddaughter got married first wins the house and your whore of a daughter
00:45:59is single now, so I win.
00:46:01No.
00:46:02Grandpa said whoever has the most Christmas spirit gets the key, including me.
00:46:08And you can't exclude my darling daughter just because she's single.
00:46:12Mom, stop calling me that.
00:46:15Tomorrow?
00:46:15We have a bake-off.
00:46:19And whoever bakes the best Christmas cookies wins the house.
00:46:25Daddy?
00:46:27What do you think about cookies?
00:46:30Your grandmother loved cookies.
00:46:34I think it's a lovely idea.
00:46:37Fine.
00:46:37Deal.
00:46:38How festive.
00:46:40And you better bring tissues for when you sob over your homeless bitch mother.
00:46:47Well, if you'll excuse us, Aunt Moira, I've got to go find a recipe to kick your ass.
00:46:54But Mom, I can't bake.
00:46:56I'm just a single loser.
00:47:00Pull yourself together.
00:47:02We are going to win that bake-off and get you the house, even if we have to put gramps
00:47:07in the hospital.
00:47:08Do you want to put gramps in the hospital?
00:47:10No, but I'll make damn sure that Belle's cookies will.
00:47:20You ready to bake Christmas cookies for Grandpa?
00:47:23Who do you think?
00:47:24You can come into Grandpa's kitchen after what you did to my daughter?
00:47:28You got my fiancee arrested.
00:47:30Yeah, well, he was my fiancee before you spread your legs.
00:47:34You bitch!
00:47:35Do not touch my fiancee.
00:47:39Whatever.
00:47:40When Grandpa tastes our cookies, he'll know exactly who deserves the house.
00:47:45The kitchen is taken.
00:47:48You'll have to bake with the crack addicts under the bridge.
00:47:53Fine.
00:47:55Bye!
00:48:01Where are we going to find the kitchen?
00:48:04I want to save the house, but really all I wanted to do is make cookies for Grandpa's last Christmas.
00:48:10Uh, just give me a moment.
00:48:17Peterson, I need you to find me an estate with a nice kitchen.
00:48:23But sir, it's the Christmas holiday and we're in Buffalo.
00:48:26Just find it.
00:48:27When do you expect to move in?
00:48:3020 minutes.
00:48:42I've never been to a royal estate before.
00:48:45Hey, how long has the royal family had a place in upstate New York?
00:48:47It's, uh, fairly recent.
00:48:53Ah!
00:48:55A bowl.
00:48:56Made what's removed it.
00:48:58There you go.
00:49:01I, um, gotta be honest, I, uh, never baked before.
00:49:06Well, it's time to learn.
00:49:30Hmm.
00:49:32My grandma used to bake with me every year.
00:49:34Do you love Christmas?
00:49:38So, how come your family never did this with you?
00:49:41Hmm.
00:49:42My parents were always preoccupied with work.
00:49:47My dad was, um, not around very much.
00:49:50Yeah.
00:49:51Mine too.
00:49:52Is he not coming home for Christmas?
00:49:54No, he, he died a few years back.
00:49:57So sorry.
00:49:59My granddad died a few years back.
00:50:02It must have been hard.
00:50:02It suddenly became a very big responsibility.
00:50:07I'm sure it was very hard for you as well.
00:50:10Not really.
00:50:11I mean, he, he really wasn't around much, and it's not like he was a good person.
00:50:16Yeah, he lied to my mom a bunch, and she gave him way too many chances, so...
00:50:20But that's why I have my rule.
00:50:23Lie to me, and you're done.
00:50:25Great.
00:50:26I tell her I'm really a prince.
00:50:28She'll never forgive me.
00:50:30Oh.
00:50:32You missed a spot.
00:50:34May I?
00:50:53Wait, does she not like me?
00:50:57Look, I want you to know.
00:50:59I don't care who you are.
00:51:02Oh, I...
00:51:03Santa Claus!
00:51:04Do you know Cupid?
00:51:06Santa's arrow!
00:51:08Say to my heart, I want to fall in love this Christmas.
00:51:13Santa, that would be the greatest gift of all.
00:51:17Send me an extra stock game to hang next to me on the wall.
00:51:23Santa, send me a lot more Christmas.
00:51:27That would be the greatest gift of all.
00:51:32Do we take this to the moral bedroom?
00:51:34Yes.
00:51:42Bella, I...
00:51:44I...
00:51:44I just can't quite yet.
00:51:47Wait, what do you mean?
00:51:49I can't sleep with her if I'm lying to her.
00:51:51But if I tell her the truth, then it could lose her.
00:51:55I...
00:51:55Bella, I...
00:51:57I...
00:51:57I...
00:51:57I...
00:51:58I just can't.
00:52:03You must not like me.
00:52:07Bella...
00:52:08Wait.
00:52:09No, it's fine.
00:52:10No, really, I should get back to pass some of the cookies anyway, so...
00:52:13No, it's...
00:52:14No, it's...
00:52:26This cookie can be just for Grandpa.
00:52:31Here.
00:52:41All right, well, the cookies need to cool before I can frost them, so...
00:52:44We should...
00:52:45Clean up.
00:52:52Look at their basic, boring-ass bitch cookies.
00:52:55They should be grateful we're making their cookies a little bit better with some laxative.
00:53:05Grandpa will poop his pants and blame it on Belle.
00:53:12I'm gonna go put the frosting on the cookies.
00:53:18Oh, that's so good.
00:53:21Oh, those are beautiful, sweetheart.
00:53:25They look delicious, Belle.
00:53:31What do we have here?
00:53:33Three-year-olds on TikTok could have made better cookies.
00:53:36But they could never make an elaborate gingerbread house that was made by my perfect daughter for you.
00:53:43You cannot compare this gingerbread mansion with basic dough turds.
00:53:51How did they make that?
00:53:52I don't think they did.
00:53:54My goodness.
00:53:56That's magnificent, Katie.
00:53:59You must have worked days.
00:54:01Katie is absolutely exhausted from all of that gumdrop gluing.
00:54:06But lack of sleep is a small price to pay for Yuletide Spirit.
00:54:10Very impressive house.
00:54:12Must have taken a lot of work.
00:54:15But not from you.
00:54:16Because you purchased a house at a bakery.
00:54:26How dare you accuse us of purchasing this from a bakery?
00:54:30With a fake receipt.
00:54:32It has your signature.
00:54:35You use Grandpa's credit card to buy the gingerbread house.
00:54:39You're just stalling to prevent Grandpa from trying Belle's turd cookies.
00:54:44You're right, Katie.
00:54:45Grandpa should try one.
00:54:46Because it's actually homemade.
00:54:49Right.
00:54:49Here.
00:54:52Enjoy.
00:54:55Please.
00:54:56It's like bottom shelf Betty Crocker.
00:54:59Actually, it's Grandma's recipe.
00:55:01That way she can still be here even though she's gone.
00:55:04You understood Christmas spirit assignment perfectly, Belle.
00:55:09I don't like her cookies more than mine.
00:55:11He won't once he's hospitalized for dehydration.
00:55:15Go ahead, Dad.
00:55:16Take a bite.
00:55:17I don't mind if I tell you.
00:55:27Mmm.
00:55:29It tastes just like your grandmother's.
00:55:36Why aren't the laxatives working?
00:55:38Maybe it takes a while for the drugs to start working.
00:55:40What?
00:55:41What to start working?
00:55:42Sugar levels.
00:55:43We all know Grandpa's sugar levels are so important.
00:55:46By sugar levels, do you mean the laxatives that you put on our cookie?
00:55:53The only reason that Grandpa is not sick right now is because we threw out that cookie.
00:55:59We didn't do anything to your cookies.
00:56:02Well, then why don't you give it a try?
00:56:05I'll try your gross cookie.
00:56:20What?
00:56:21The world?
00:56:24The world?
00:56:28No.
00:56:41All right.
00:56:43All right.
00:56:47Oh!
00:56:48That's right!
00:56:49I didn't throw out that cookie.
00:56:51I left it right here on this plate.
00:56:53You're eating that cookie.
00:56:57Oh!
00:56:59Oh, God!
00:57:00No!
00:57:01Oh!
00:57:03Oh!
00:57:03Oh!
00:57:04Oh!
00:57:05Oh!
00:57:05Oh!
00:57:06Oh!
00:57:07Oh!
00:57:10Okay, you could have killed Grandpa.
00:57:12That wasn't me.
00:57:13The laxatives were in your purse.
00:57:15I saw them.
00:57:16Oh, right.
00:57:17Another lie.
00:57:17Just like your gingerbread house.
00:57:19I admit, we bought the gingerbread house, but I would never hurt you, Grandpa.
00:57:23I am disappointed in you, Katie.
00:57:25With my heart condition, I could have died of dehydration.
00:57:31Why isn't everything my fault?
00:57:33It was Belle.
00:57:34Belle didn't bring a fraudster into this house.
00:57:36She didn't break all of my Christmas gifts.
00:57:39And she didn't put laxatives in the cookies.
00:57:43But...
00:57:43I think you and your mother should go stay at a hotel.
00:57:49But...
00:57:50Grandpa, I...
00:57:51Enough of your shenanigans, Belle.
00:57:55The key to the house is yours.
00:57:58Thank you, Grandpa.
00:58:01All I wanted was a place for Mom to live.
00:58:11Why is the Queen calling in?
00:58:13Oh!
00:58:16Um...
00:58:18Ah, that's just a...
00:58:20It's a little inside joke that I have between me and my mom.
00:58:24Just obsessed with the royal family, I guess.
00:58:29BRB!
00:58:30Hi, Mom!
00:58:32I thought, why are you calling me?
00:58:35You said you would leave me alone until New Year's.
00:58:37Is that any way to talk to your mother, Henry?
00:58:40Since you bought an estate in the armpit of America,
00:58:45stopped responding to Peterson,
00:58:48called off the guards,
00:58:49and failed to send me any photographs,
00:58:52I thought we'd spend Christmas together
00:58:54and find out exactly what's going on.
00:58:57No, we can't spend Christmas together.
00:58:59I'm in Buffalo.
00:59:02Give me the phone.
00:59:04Yes?
00:59:06We would love to invite your family for Christmas.
00:59:09Henry's family is our family.
00:59:11How is Mom coming to Christmas
00:59:13without everyone finding out she's the Queen?
00:59:15She'd like to speak with you.
00:59:20Glad somebody understands hospitality.
00:59:26Why is the royal caravan in our driveway?
00:59:29Also, we're outside.
00:59:31Peterson gave us the address.
00:59:41Oh, is that the prince?
00:59:46That would be my parents.
00:59:50They work for the royal family, too.
00:59:54Oh.
00:59:55As, uh, servants.
00:59:58Oh, okay.
00:59:59Pardon me.
01:00:00One moment.
01:00:02Um, I'll be, I'll be right back.
01:00:13Ah, there you are.
01:00:16What's going on, Henry?
01:00:18I thought your girlfriend was an heiress.
01:00:20This house is rather small.
01:00:22Um, about that,
01:00:24she's not an heiress.
01:00:27Uh, she's a regular American.
01:00:31A commoner.
01:00:32An American.
01:00:34Henry, are you trying to kill me?
01:00:36What else aren't you telling me?
01:00:38She doesn't know that I'm the prince?
01:00:42Or that you're the queen and king?
01:00:47What in God's name does she think we are?
01:00:50Servants?
01:00:52Oh, no.
01:00:54Henry, where are you?
01:00:56If she sees you dressed like this,
01:00:58she will know I'm the prince.
01:01:00Please, please, go change.
01:01:01I, I like this girl.
01:01:03Please, go.
01:01:04Go.
01:01:07Hey.
01:01:08Uh, where are your parents?
01:01:10They, uh, they needed a moment
01:01:13to freshen up a little.
01:01:16Let's go this way.
01:01:19Consider it, my dear.
01:01:21Do you remember how dumb I was
01:01:23when I was his age?
01:01:25When I was chasing after you?
01:01:27I refuse to pose as a commoner.
01:01:31Besides, what the devil would we wear?
01:01:35Oh.
01:01:44Happy holidays.
01:01:51It's lovely to meet you.
01:01:53Oh, yeah.
01:01:54Well, uh, these are my parents.
01:01:59Vicki.
01:02:00Vicki?
01:02:01And, uh, Eddie.
01:02:04Oh, thank you, milady,
01:02:08for your hospitality.
01:02:11This must be the guest house.
01:02:15She's pretty.
01:02:16We're in America.
01:02:17I take that as a compliment, Mother.
01:02:20Something's not right.
01:02:22I love your necklace.
01:02:24So expensive for someone
01:02:26who cleans toilets for a living.
01:02:30It was a gift from Elidy the Queen
01:02:32for cleaning Flo so well.
01:02:36You know, our floors are absolutely filthy.
01:02:40You wouldn't mind cleaning them
01:02:41while you're here for us, would you?
01:02:42I normally don't speak to the hell,
01:02:44but I'll make an exception for you.
01:02:46Well, aren't you a peach?
01:02:49I'm ready to give them both the royal smackdown.
01:02:52I think it's time to set the table.
01:02:54Would you, would you like to help me, Vicki?
01:02:56Help, what would you be willing
01:02:59to set our table just like you would
01:03:01for the royal family?
01:03:02I mean, I'd really like it.
01:03:04She's never set a table before in her life.
01:03:07She'll give herself away.
01:03:09Right, governor.
01:03:18Wow.
01:03:23I haven't seen such a beautiful table setting
01:03:26since my wife was alive.
01:03:30Cheers to new beginnings.
01:03:32Welcome, Vicki and Eddie, to our family.
01:03:37Cheers.
01:03:39Americans are so loud.
01:03:41And ew, there's so much dairy in their food.
01:03:44My arteries are clogging just looking at this.
01:03:47Oh, don't be so stiff, Vicki.
01:03:50I quite like it.
01:03:51And look at our boy.
01:03:54He's never looked happier.
01:04:00We must be getting on.
01:04:05You owe me.
01:04:08I can drive you right now.
01:04:10Oh.
01:04:11I insist.
01:04:12Oh, that would be lovely.
01:04:14We could use the time to get acquainted.
01:04:18I hate her.
01:04:20Ever since we were little,
01:04:21she's always gotten everything.
01:04:22And now she gets the house.
01:04:24Don't you worry about this shitty house.
01:04:26We are going to get you a palace.
01:04:29But how?
01:04:30We're going to follow those servants
01:04:32back to the royal estate
01:04:34and bet you the prince.
01:04:52Oh, my God.
01:04:54It's the prince.
01:04:59Come to me, my prince.
01:05:01Madam, I am not the prince.
01:05:04That's exactly what a secret prince would say.
01:05:07I know a prince when I see one.
01:05:10Marry me.
01:05:11Make me your princess.
01:05:12Madam, madam, madam.
01:05:13I am not.
01:05:14Madam, madam, madam.
01:05:15I am not.
01:05:17Madam, madam, please.
01:05:21Oh, dear.
01:05:22Kitty, what are you doing?
01:05:24What does it look like?
01:05:25I'm getting a prince.
01:05:27Bow to me, bitches.
01:05:28I'm your queen now.
01:05:30My first act of business?
01:05:32You're all fired.
01:05:34That man is not a prince.
01:05:36He's a servant.
01:05:38What?
01:05:39I...
01:05:39I touched a servant?
01:05:45I tried to warn you, madam.
01:05:48Bow, can we a little chit-chat inside for a moment?
01:05:53Is my own mother going to give up my identity?
01:05:57Uh, mother, can't it wait?
01:06:01We have loads to prepare for, for Christmas.
01:06:05Don't question my authority, Henry.
01:06:07You must obey me.
01:06:10Oh, the inside.
01:06:15I'll fake for the family, but I won't lie to her.
01:06:20What's your plan with my son?
01:06:23Well, I really like him, but I can't be with him because of his job.
01:06:29Well, his occupation does ask lots of him.
01:06:32Never enough to go round.
01:06:34Great.
01:06:35So he's not just a prostitute.
01:06:36He's a busy prostitute.
01:06:38He's been through a lot since his grandfather died.
01:06:41But it's a family business.
01:06:44Wait, so him and his grandfather both had sex with people for a living?
01:06:49What?
01:06:50You think my Henry and my beloved father are prostitutes?
01:06:54Wait, but if he's not a prostitute, then what is he?
01:06:57No!
01:06:59Don't!
01:07:05Don't!
01:07:09Don't have a conversation without me.
01:07:12What are we talking about?
01:07:14Well, I was just inviting Belle and a grandpa and a mom to the royal nunious ball.
01:07:20The royal ball?
01:07:21Seriously?
01:07:22Yes.
01:07:24That's when the prince will reveal his identity and stop his American shenanigans.
01:07:31Oh my gosh, this is incredible.
01:07:33Grandpa's going to be so excited.
01:07:36God, I can't wait to tell him.
01:07:38Oh, I...
01:07:43Why are you dressed like a prince in the family portrait?
01:07:47Out with it, Henry.
01:07:50Well, uh...
01:07:52The royal family had us painted like royalty for our years of service.
01:08:00Okay.
01:08:03I'm going to go tell Grandpa.
01:08:06Why did you invite her to the ball?
01:08:09She'll know I'm the prince.
01:08:10That's the point, Henry.
01:08:12I would any woman not want to fall in love with a prince.
01:08:16You think she loves me?
01:08:17I'm not blind, darling.
01:08:19And if you love her, you'll tell her the truth and stop lying.
01:08:24But what if I tell her the truth and she doesn't forgive me?
01:08:29It's a risk you'll have to take.
01:08:32But if you don't tell her you're the prince before the ball, I will.
01:08:47Everyone got an invitation to the royal new year ball except me?
01:08:51And I licked a servant!
01:08:53You expected to be invited after the way you treated Henry's parents?
01:08:57This is bullshit.
01:08:59Get me an invitation now!
01:09:01I would love to get you one.
01:09:03Except I'm just a lowly driver.
01:09:06Remember?
01:09:09I'll get an invitation anyway.
01:09:14Oh, Merry Christmas.
01:09:18Ah, yes.
01:09:21Oh!
01:09:22Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.
01:09:25I'm so clumsy.
01:09:26Excuse me, ma'am.
01:09:27Do I know you?
01:09:28No!
01:09:29No, no, of course not!
01:09:30But you know what?
01:09:31You are so handsome.
01:09:33I like you.
01:09:35Oh, oh, oh, pretty's the matter.
01:09:43Time to go bag a prince.
01:09:49Hey, babe.
01:09:50You know that sex tape you have a you and Belle?
01:09:53I want everyone at the ball to know little Miss Perfect is a dirty little bitch.
01:09:58Did Belle receive the gifts I sent over this morning?
01:10:02What gifts are you talking about?
01:10:04Come on, this way.
01:10:07We are here to dress the family for the royal ball.
01:10:10With the exception of, and I quote, the trashy cousin.
01:10:13No!
01:10:13No, absolutely not!
01:10:15Please, you need to leave!
01:10:16Now!
01:10:17These are orders of the Queen.
01:10:19This is not the way to be treating your royal stylist.
01:10:22Uh, why is the royal stylist here?
01:10:28Who are these people?
01:10:29This is quite normal for, uh, for, uh, try not to lie, Henry, Christmas present from
01:10:37the Queen.
01:10:38Uh-huh.
01:10:40And why would the Queen care about us?
01:10:42Because the Queen is a very generous woman.
01:10:48And, Belle, listen, I...
01:10:50Your, your highness!
01:10:52Uh-uh.
01:10:53I mean, uh, Henry.
01:10:54We have to go back to the palace.
01:10:56Your mother needs you.
01:10:58This way.
01:10:58Uh, wait, your highness?
01:11:00Okay, Henry, what is going on?
01:11:02Why is everyone acting so weird?
01:11:04These people are here to help you get ready.
01:11:06I will explain everything at the ball.
01:11:09I promise.
01:11:10Okay.
01:11:18Whatever happens tomorrow, I-I want you to know that this is the best Christmas I've
01:11:24ever had.
01:11:26Oh, and I lift you a gift.
01:11:42What did he mean, whatever happens?
01:11:51Wow.
01:11:57Sweetheart, you look beautiful.
01:12:02Dad, want to have some champagne?
01:12:04Okay.
01:12:12Too bad your garage sale tiara doesn't cover your whore face.
01:12:16What are you even doing here?
01:12:18Forget Todd.
01:12:19We came to bag Katie a prince.
01:12:22Where is he?
01:12:24I don't care about the prince.
01:12:25I'm here to see Henry.
01:12:26Oh.
01:12:27Did your fiancé dump you again?
01:12:29He's probably cheating on you.
01:12:32And you're so used to being a cuck.
01:12:34He's not cheating on me.
01:12:36Really?
01:12:36Then where is he?
01:12:38He's busy working.
01:12:40Come on.
01:12:40The guy takes secret phone calls and leaves all the time?
01:12:44Take it from me?
01:12:45He's probably boning someone else.
01:12:47Henry did need to tell me something.
01:12:50Maybe they're right.
01:12:51Maybe there is someone else.
01:12:53And after tonight, he might see you a little differently.
01:12:57What are you talking about?
01:13:00You'll see.
01:13:00Just wait for the show.
01:13:03Now, let's go bag a prince for my little princess.
01:13:14See that guy over there?
01:13:17Him?
01:13:18Of course.
01:13:20He asked me to give you this slideshow to play.
01:13:24If it's for the prince, I guess it's okay.
01:13:31God, she's perfect.
01:13:32I have to tell the truth before it's too late.
01:13:38You look so beautiful, Belle.
01:13:41Um, Belle, there isn't much time.
01:13:43Can we talk?
01:13:44Oh, God, he wants to talk because there's someone else.
01:13:49I know that this was just a contract thing, and I didn't mean to lie to you.
01:13:54I can't believe this is happening to me.
01:13:56Again.
01:13:57God, I'm an idiot.
01:13:59It's...
01:13:59I'm fine.
01:14:00Okay, I already know.
01:14:03What?
01:14:04You know?
01:14:05How?
01:14:06Look, I wish you had told me that you were in love with somebody else before...
01:14:09Wait a second, you think I'm in love with someone else?
01:14:13No, there is no one else but you.
01:14:20Oh, good.
01:14:22Because I am in love with you.
01:14:24I love you too, Belle.
01:14:26You know, I haven't felt what family's supposed to feel like since Grandma died,
01:14:30but you brought that feeling back.
01:14:33And you gave me the American Christmas I always wanted.
01:14:36Well, if there's no one else, then what did you want to tell me?
01:14:39I, um...
01:14:41I don't want to work for you.
01:14:44I want to be with you.
01:14:46But, um, I'm not the person I said that I was.
01:14:49I'm actually...
01:14:49Your Highness!
01:14:53Henry, you have to go.
01:14:54I have your jacket.
01:14:56Forgive me, I...
01:14:57I'm sorry.
01:14:58Your Highness?
01:14:59I'm sorry.
01:15:01What the hell is going on?
01:15:08Ladies and gentlemen, please stand for His Highness King Edward of Monrovia
01:15:14and Her Majesty Queen Victoria.
01:15:35And for the first time publicly in the United States,
01:15:39Prince Harold von Monrovingham of Monrovia.
01:16:01Oh my God.
01:16:04He's a prince.
01:16:07That's what he was trying to tell me?
01:16:09He's the prince of Monrovia.
01:16:11I'm gonna faint.
01:16:15I knew I liked this kid.
01:16:17He's the prince?
01:16:19What the fuck?
01:16:20He's the prince?
01:16:21That means...
01:16:23I asked the Queen of Monrovia to scrub our toilets.
01:16:26Oh my God!
01:16:29Let her have her moment for now.
01:16:32My name is Prince Harold von Monrovingham.
01:16:36But to just one person here, I'm just Henry.
01:16:43You hid your identity.
01:16:45Why couldn't you just tell me?
01:16:47I didn't know if I could find someone who would love me for me.
01:16:51And not just my crown.
01:16:53So you lied.
01:16:54I know I lied.
01:16:55But I didn't think that love was something that was possible for me until I met you.
01:17:00And now I'm terrified that you'll never forgive me.
01:17:05How could I ever trust you again?
01:17:07I told you I hate liars.
01:17:10And that's exactly why I wanted to make this public.
01:17:13So that I could win you back.
01:17:15Oh, will you...
01:17:17Will you marry me?
01:17:20For real this time.
01:17:22Be my princess.
01:17:28I...
01:17:28Stop.
01:17:30There's no way this bitch is becoming princess.
01:17:33Can't those Americans do anything normally?
01:17:37This whoreface is trash and doesn't deserve to be royalty.
01:17:41Please, Katie.
01:17:42Stop.
01:17:43You're embarrassing yourself.
01:17:44The only thing embarrassing about this family is that little twat.
01:17:48Her old goody-goody is an act.
01:17:51She fooled your son and she doesn't deserve to be a princess.
01:17:54What are you talking about?
01:17:55Enough with this American insanity.
01:17:59My son was mid-proposal.
01:18:01Go on.
01:18:02Go on, Henry.
01:18:03No attention to this commoner.
01:18:05Your Majesty's.
01:18:06About earlier.
01:18:07I'm sorry.
01:18:07Sorry about what?
01:18:09Asking me to scrub your toilets?
01:18:11We apologize, your highnesses.
01:18:14But there's been a bit of misunderstanding.
01:18:16No, I understand who you are very well.
01:18:20God.
01:18:24Get off me.
01:18:25Don't you want to know the truth about your future daughter-in-law?
01:18:29She is a whore.
01:18:30Watch it.
01:18:31There's nothing that you can say that can make me love Belle any less.
01:18:34You're a liar.
01:18:35I have nothing to hide.
01:18:38No.
01:18:39Apparently put it all out there.
01:18:42Remember that little video you took with Todd?
01:18:44I don't think he'll like it once he sees what trash you are.
01:18:48That video is private.
01:18:50What video, Henry?
01:18:52What is she talking about?
01:18:53Now ask yourselves.
01:18:55Is this the kind of ho, ho, ho you want for a princess of your shitty country?
01:19:01Hit it.
01:19:11What the fuck?
01:19:12Where's Belle's sex tape?
01:19:14Belle, is that true?
01:19:16Don't listen to a word this lunatic has to say.
01:19:19She assaulted me and has been stalking the prince all along.
01:19:23He's lying.
01:19:25Just look at the video.
01:19:26I gave it to the tech guy.
01:19:28And I promptly took care of it.
01:19:31Enough.
01:19:32This is nothing but a case of revenge porn.
01:19:35Now bow to the royal family and beg for forgiveness.
01:19:39What?
01:19:50Please forgive me.
01:20:21Not just to me.
01:20:23Guards.
01:20:24Now how's that for being the...
01:20:26Oh, eh?
01:20:27I'm calling my lawyer.
01:20:29Wait.
01:20:30I should be the princess of Monroia.
01:20:32Me!
01:20:33Now, where were we?
01:20:35Henry?
01:20:35Oh, yes.
01:20:36On one knee.
01:20:37Oh, right.
01:20:45Belle.
01:20:46Will you do me the honor?
01:20:48Being the wife of Prince Harold von Munrovingen.
01:20:58No.
01:21:01I don't know who that is.
01:21:07But I will marry Henry.
01:21:11But never lie to me again.
01:21:13I promise I will never, ever lie to you ever again, my beautiful Belle.
01:21:19Then I forgive you.
01:21:20Because I'm a prince?
01:21:22No, because you're you.
01:21:24I don't need these presents, this crown or the royal estate.
01:21:28I just want you.
01:21:39No kiss already.
01:21:41That's an order.
01:21:47To the future princess of Monrovia.
01:21:52Princess Belle.
01:22:05Oh, these are quite comfy, actually.
01:22:08Oh, you know what?
01:22:11I'll get started.
01:22:13This gift is for Belle.
01:22:16And it's a special token for the first time we've ever met.
01:22:22Is it another tiara?
01:22:33For all the riches in my kingdom, you're the greatest gift I've ever received.
01:22:44I have the royal nappies, your highness.
01:22:48I have the royal nappies, your highness.
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