- 13 minutes ago
ENG Merry Prince-Mas
Category
đ„
Short filmTranscript
00:00:08This is the worst Christmas ever.
00:00:15Oh, Belle, I hope I have one more holiday.
00:00:19But if I don't, my dying wish is that you be engaged by Christmas.
00:00:25Well, Grandpa, I am engaged.
00:00:31We're getting married on New Year's.
00:00:32He drove all the way here to New York with me just to meet you.
00:00:36His name is Todd.
00:00:37Let me go get him, okay?
00:00:39Just get some rest.
00:00:40Look.
00:00:43Oh, yeah.
00:00:45That's it, brother.
00:00:50Todd, what are you doing?
00:00:51Whoa, hey.
00:00:54Guess this is a bad time to say I want to break up.
00:00:56Todd, what the fuck?
00:00:57Are you cheating on me in front of me?
00:01:00I never want to see you again.
00:01:02Hey, what's her deal?
00:01:09Well, don't worry.
00:01:11Your grandpa's going to make a full recovery.
00:01:13Your engagement gave him the will to live through Christmas.
00:01:19Who am I going to bring home for Christmas?
00:01:27I can't believe I have to hire a prostitute to be my fake boyfriend.
00:01:51Please, your highness, we can't do this.
00:01:54We must go back to Monrovia for Christmas now.
00:01:57No, Peterson, if I go back now, my mother will have me engaged to some boring European socialite
00:02:03by New Year's.
00:02:04No, I just, for once, I want a normal holiday.
00:02:10Ah, and we have one other issue.
00:02:13Your mother, the Queen, is on the phone now.
00:02:20Hi mother.
00:02:21Henry, I want you to come home at once.
00:02:24I can't, mother, because I'm spending the holidays with my girlfriend.
00:02:31Girlfriend?
00:02:33Nonsense.
00:02:33Really?
00:02:34Who is she?
00:02:35Oh, don't tell me.
00:02:36She's American.
00:02:37She is an American.
00:02:39She's an American heiress.
00:02:42A shoe heiress.
00:02:45The reception, it's bad.
00:02:48Gotta go.
00:02:52Sir, you cannot lie to the Queen like that.
00:02:56Why on earth did you hire a model?
00:03:00Because, with the photos of the model you hired, I can prove to my mother that I have
00:03:05a girlfriend, and I can have an American Christmas alone.
00:03:10Well, at least take off that silly hat.
00:03:13No, I like it.
00:03:19What the hell are you doing?
00:03:21You hit me.
00:03:22What should you hit me?
00:03:23Well, you're the idiot that wasn't paying attention.
00:03:25Who rides a scooter in winter?
00:03:27God, you Americans are so self-involved.
00:03:30Okay, listen, jerk one.
00:03:31I am late, and I'm trying to meet somebody, and...
00:03:33Shit.
00:03:34He's wearing a Santa hat.
00:03:36He's the prostitute I have in.
00:03:38It's you.
00:03:42This must be the model Peterson hired.
00:03:45Yes.
00:03:46It's me.
00:03:48Alright, why don't we get this photo over with?
00:03:50I don't have time for all the...
00:03:52...regality.
00:03:53Hey, wait, why are you taking a photo of me?
00:03:55Why doesn't she know about the photo?
00:03:57She must not be the model Peterson hired.
00:04:00Why don't you just go around taking photos of strangers?
00:04:02That's pretty creepy, you know that, right?
00:04:03Oh my god, she thinks that's creepy.
00:04:06Miss, I'm...
00:04:07Okay, look, I don't know you, and I don't care.
00:04:09I have to be at my grandpa's in an hour.
00:04:10She has no clue, I'm a prince.
00:04:12Look, I can only pay you $5,000 for you to come home with me.
00:04:15You have an email?
00:04:16American girls are so forward.
00:04:18$5,000?
00:04:20Dude, listen.
00:04:20I don't have much time and that's my entire savings.
00:04:22Do we have a deal or not?
00:04:24Listen, there must be some sort of confusion.
00:04:30One moment.
00:04:32She's just going to keep calling if I don't pick up.
00:04:35Mother, I don't have time for this.
00:04:36I know you're with your new fiancee.
00:04:39I just wanted to call and say she's gorgeous.
00:04:42You have my blessing to stay there for Christmas.
00:04:45I do?
00:04:47That's great.
00:04:48Okay, bye.
00:04:49Oh my god, my mother thinks she's my fiancee.
00:04:52If I go back to Monrovia, I'll be in an arranged marriage with a snob by February.
00:04:56What is the confusion?
00:04:57I pay you to come home with me until Christmas and pretend to be my boyfriend until New Year's.
00:05:01Do we have a deal or not?
00:05:02We've got a deal.
00:05:06You've got a deal.
00:05:08Good.
00:05:09Who do I Venmo?
00:05:10I don't have a wallet much less of Venmo.
00:05:13Make something up.
00:05:14Henry.
00:05:15Just Henry.
00:05:17That's the one that comes up.
00:05:20Sent.
00:05:21Now here are the rules.
00:05:22This is my grandpa's last Christmas and he's very sick.
00:05:25I don't have the heart to tell him that I broke up with my boyfriend and any upset could kill
00:05:29him.
00:05:29So no surprises, no lies, and also I am not having sex with you.
00:05:33Sex?
00:05:35We just met.
00:05:36This prostitute is weird.
00:05:38It's a long drive to my parents, so I'll meet you there in about six hours.
00:05:42Just show up as a normal American guy who loves Christmas, okay?
00:05:46Oh, and um, drop the accent.
00:05:50Accent?
00:05:51Your mother wants more pics of your fiancee.
00:05:54I mean this with utmost respect, but what the hell are you doing?
00:05:59Peterson.
00:06:00It's perfect.
00:06:01My mother and the press will leave me alone.
00:06:03I can have a real American Christmas.
00:06:06She doesn't know who I am.
00:06:07I can just be a normal guy.
00:06:08As long as you're discreet about it, no one should know who you are.
00:06:14They won't.
00:06:16We have one hour to find American clothes for my American Christmas.
00:06:20Get some clothes for you and the guards as well.
00:06:22Soon, you and I will be in a lovely place called Buffalo.
00:06:34Oh, sweetie! I'm so glad you're here!
00:06:38Oh, let's get you inside.
00:06:40Well, if it isn't Grandpa's former favorite.
00:06:44Merry Christmas, loser!
00:06:46Are you here solo again?
00:06:50Merry Christmas to you too, Katie.
00:06:54Belle, Katie's gonna need the room with the bigger bed this time.
00:06:57She has a brand new, very rich boyfriend.
00:07:00And you, of course, are coming home alone.
00:07:04Again.
00:07:05Actually, I am-
00:07:07Don't be silly.
00:07:08Mom, she's just a single loser.
00:07:11Look at her.
00:07:12She's ugly and her snatch is dry.
00:07:16Well, I can see why she's still single.
00:07:19Look at these love handles!
00:07:21Stop!
00:07:21Okay?
00:07:22You know, not all guys like more cushion for the pushin'.
00:07:27Fatty.
00:07:27No more cookies for you this Christmas.
00:07:31If you keep it up, I'll shove a cookie up your ass.
00:07:34Okay, both of you, now stop.
00:07:36So sensitive.
00:07:38She's just jealous because I can keep a man.
00:07:41Mm-hmm.
00:07:41Oh my God.
00:07:42Does she know?
00:07:45Actually, I am seeing someone.
00:07:48Yeah, right.
00:07:49Is he imaginary?
00:07:51Are you hallucinating?
00:07:53I think you should go, Belle.
00:07:57I don't think Grandpa's heart could take the side of a single loser.
00:08:07I am not single, I have a boyfriend and he's gonna be here any minute.
00:08:11If you have a boyfriend, then where is he?
00:08:14If he doesn't show, all hell will break loose.
00:08:36Darling, where shall I put these?
00:08:41Meet my boyfriend, bitch.
00:08:52Who the hell is he?
00:08:55Mom.
00:08:56Aunt Moira.
00:08:57Katie.
00:08:58Henry.
00:08:59This is...
00:09:00Henry.
00:09:01Henry von...
00:09:03Oh, I call bullshit.
00:09:05This is just some guy she got off the street.
00:09:09And this car, obviously a fake.
00:09:14Why are you driving a Bentley with the Royal Family emblem?
00:09:19Well, I'm actually a driver for the Royal Family of Monrovia.
00:09:30A driver?
00:09:32Like a servant?
00:09:34That's pathetic, though.
00:09:37Did he come with the car?
00:09:38Well, Grandpa's definitely gonna have a heart attack when he realizes how desperate you are.
00:09:47Nice to meet you.
00:09:48Thanks.
00:09:50Merry Christmas.
00:09:50Oh, thank you. Merry Christmas.
00:09:53Forget about them.
00:09:54Let's just try to have a calm Christmas for Grandpa.
00:09:58I'll go finish dinner preparations.
00:10:04The Royal Driver?
00:10:06What was your plan? I'll pretend to be the Prince of Monrovia?
00:10:09The Prince.
00:10:11Me.
00:10:12The Prince, imagine.
00:10:14No, no, I'm just a regular guy who likes regular American Christmas.
00:10:21Okay.
00:10:22But look, I'm not paying extra for that Bentley.
00:10:24Oh, don't worry about that. I'm good friends with the driver.
00:10:28Anyway, your family seems pretty intense.
00:10:33May I ask, why an amazing woman like yourself needs to hire someone to be your boyfriend?
00:10:39My fiance left me a few weeks ago.
00:10:42Grandpa's just pretty fragile and I haven't had the heart to tell him the truth.
00:10:46I know what it feels to have to live up to your family's expectations.
00:10:52Whoever your ex is, he, uh, he sounds like an idiot.
00:10:57Belle, Henry, meet my new boyfriend.
00:11:04Todd, what are you doing?
00:11:08My cousin screwed my ex.
00:11:15Do you two know each other?
00:11:24Merry Christmas, Grandpa.
00:11:26Stop.
00:11:31You're fucking my cousin?
00:11:34You say anything and I'll tell Grandpa that you were busy getting railed by some guy while he was on
00:11:39his deathbed.
00:11:40You won't wanna upset him, would you?
00:11:46No, Grandpa. Todd and I have never met.
00:11:50Remember when I told you my fiance cheated on me?
00:11:53Turns out he's fucking my cousin.
00:11:56That also is her ex.
00:11:58Grandpa, I want you to meet my new boyfriend though, Henry.
00:12:02Her boyfriend?
00:12:04Lovely to meet you, Grandpa.
00:12:07Any, uh, man who gets to be with Belle is, uh, the luckiest man in the world.
00:12:12No.
00:12:13He's a driver for the royal family.
00:12:16Allegedly.
00:12:17How nice.
00:12:19Hope my girls are happy and in love.
00:12:22That's going to help me make it through this Christmas season.
00:12:26Ahem.
00:12:27Well, I hate to ruin Christmas, Grandpa, but Belle is lying.
00:12:31There is no way that this loser is her boyfriend.
00:12:36Uh, Belle? Is this true?
00:12:40If he finds out Henry is a cowboy, the drama could kill him.
00:12:46This loser isn't her boyfriend.
00:12:48She paid him.
00:12:50And how would you know that, Todd?
00:12:53Oh, I know a lot more than you think, loser.
00:12:56Okay, hey.
00:12:57How about you focus on your relationship instead of mine?
00:13:00Cause you're lying to this family.
00:13:02It's obviously some homeless guy you picked up off the street.
00:13:05Are you paying him to screw you too?
00:13:08Oh.
00:13:09Well, unlike your new boyfriend, I don't have to pay to get some.
00:13:12You lying twat.
00:13:16You want another?
00:13:19Please. Stop fighting.
00:13:21You're upsetting Grandpa.
00:13:23I'm sorry, Grandpa, but it's better that you know that little Miss Perfect is paying a prostitute.
00:13:29That's insane. You have no proof.
00:13:31Oh, yes we do.
00:13:32Your Venmo receipts?
00:13:35Shouldn't have made them public.
00:13:36Look, I can only pay you $5,000 for you to come home with me.
00:13:39You have Venmo?
00:13:40Shit, the Venmo.
00:13:42Ah, right here.
00:13:43Looks like you paid someone $5,000.
00:13:45What the hell?
00:13:49Oh my God!
00:13:52Wait, what are those men here for?
00:14:00What men?
00:14:07First you break my phone and then you break my face, you idiot!
00:14:11I could have done much worse, you're very lucky.
00:14:13It's okay, baby.
00:14:14I could open my phone and prove little Miss Perfect is lying.
00:14:20She Venmoed $5,000 to some guy named Henry.
00:14:25Well, that doesn't prove anything.
00:14:27Yes, it does.
00:14:29No, first of all, why would I use my own name?
00:14:32And second, Henry is the most popular name in the United States.
00:14:35And third, look closer.
00:14:38That account belongs to a Henry Wong.
00:14:42Look at that picture.
00:14:42That's an Asian man.
00:14:44That's an Asian man.
00:14:46Then why did you pay $5,000 to some guy named Henry with a house emoji next to it?
00:14:51Thank God.
00:14:52I must have ended with some random Henry.
00:14:55Okay, think fast though.
00:14:57Because Henry Wong is, um, he's my new landlord.
00:15:03There, there, it's settled.
00:15:05Now, could we please just go and have a peaceful dinner together?
00:15:10I would love that.
00:15:12Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:15:13Let's go.
00:15:15Okay, baby.
00:15:20We may have our geriatric grandpa fooled, but I don't believe that guy's your boyfriend for a second.
00:15:27Mm-hmm.
00:15:27What, are you trying to fuck him too?
00:15:29Laugh all you want, but I have the man and grandpa's gonna die soon, so I'll get the house too!
00:15:37What are you talking about?
00:15:38Oh, he didn't tell you, did he?
00:15:43Everybody, I have an important announcement.
00:15:47I've been thinking long and hard over who will get the house after I'm gone.
00:15:52So I've made a decision.
00:15:55Whichever one of my granddaughters marries first, gets the house immediately.
00:16:06But, but mom still lives here.
00:16:08Yeah, but she can live on the street.
00:16:10Or she can rent back from us until we bulldoze it.
00:16:12You can't bulldoze it.
00:16:14Well, we've had every Christmas here.
00:16:16This is where all of our memories are.
00:16:18Maybe if you had kept your man happy, you wouldn't be in this position.
00:16:25Oh, unlike you, who's been in every position.
00:16:28I should get an award for rescuing Todd from a fish, whose only talent was to play dead.
00:16:34Okay, we need to stop fighting.
00:16:37You're hurting grandpa.
00:16:38Your whore face is hurting him.
00:16:40Stop breathing, bitch.
00:16:43I can't stand this fighting.
00:16:45Don't worry, Gramps.
00:16:46I know how to stop the fighting.
00:16:53He's proposing to her with the ring he gave me?
00:16:56Katie.
00:16:57The most beautiful woman on this planet.
00:17:01Will you marry me?
00:17:02Yes, Todd, yes!
00:17:04Yes, yes.
00:17:10The house is mine.
00:17:11The ring is mine.
00:17:12And the man is mine.
00:17:14Merry Christmas to me, bitch.
00:17:18Katie.
00:17:20Wait!
00:17:28What are you doing?
00:17:30Belle.
00:17:33Will you marry me?
00:17:38Say, Ness, what are you waiting for?
00:17:40You want to keep the house, don't you?
00:17:45Grandpa does look really happy.
00:17:49Yes.
00:17:52Yes.
00:17:54A perfect Christmas.
00:17:56A double wedding.
00:17:58You hijacked my proposal.
00:17:59You hijacked my boyfriend.
00:18:01You are so selfish, Belle.
00:18:02You always make everything all about you.
00:18:05These two losers are just trying to steal grandpa's house.
00:18:08You weren't planning on proposing.
00:18:09Where's your ring?
00:18:10Where is it?
00:18:11Where is it?
00:18:11I have a ring right here.
00:18:15I didn't want to make Todd's look so pathetic.
00:18:18It's much larger.
00:18:19Wow.
00:18:20How the hell did he get that?
00:18:23It doesn't matter.
00:18:24What matters is my two granddaughters are going to be married before I die.
00:18:31Why?
00:18:32It's a Christmas miracle.
00:18:34A double wedding.
00:18:35I can hardly believe this.
00:18:37Me neither.
00:18:39Okay, but who gets the house, Grandpa?
00:18:41We were technically engaged first.
00:18:43You're right.
00:18:45That does make things more complicated.
00:18:49Your grandmother loved having Christmas in this house more than anything.
00:18:55So whoever shows the most Christmas spirit gets the house.
00:19:01It's a great idea, Grandpa.
00:19:04Uh, but if you guys would just excuse me, I would like to talk to my fiancé.
00:19:09Alone for just a minute.
00:19:11Yeah.
00:19:15Where's the ham?
00:19:18What the hell is wrong with you?
00:19:19You just proposed to me in front of my entire family?
00:19:24Look, you were supposed to be my fake boyfriend until New Year's, not my fiancé.
00:19:27I'm sorry.
00:19:29I just got caught up in the moment.
00:19:31But if you think you're going to get paid extra for this in this big ring, you are insane.
00:19:36You should be thanking me.
00:19:38I'm the one who saved you from your psychotic cousin getting your grandpa's house.
00:19:42Okay, listen, buddy.
00:19:43I am not some damsel in distress.
00:19:45I don't need to be saved.
00:19:46Really?
00:19:47Because last time I checked, I wasn't the one hiring a fake boyfriend for Christmas.
00:19:51Huh.
00:19:52Which was going perfectly fine until you lied, said you were a driver for the royal family of
00:19:57Menrovia and then proposed to me.
00:20:00I could go out there right now and tell your family everything.
00:20:05You want that?
00:20:06What you can do is drop this annoying fish-out-of-water act and stick to the plan.
00:20:14I don't think you find me annoying.
00:20:17I think you find me quite charming.
00:20:26I find you exhausting.
00:20:30Hmm.
00:20:33And what the hell are you doing with that kind of a ring?
00:20:35Who are you?
00:20:36What are you two doing in the pantry?
00:20:42I am so sorry.
00:20:45I didn't mean to interrupt.
00:20:47Oh, no, it's okay.
00:20:49He just can't keep his hands on me.
00:20:51That's right.
00:20:52I can't get enough of my pookie.
00:20:54You two little love birds.
00:20:56I just came to show you where you'd be sleeping.
00:21:01Look, we fake the engagement until the trip is over.
00:21:04But until then, do not blow our cover.
00:21:07Deal.
00:21:14Peterson, I'm releasing you.
00:21:16I need you to call off the guards.
00:21:17But, sir...
00:21:18I will call you if I need you.
00:21:21Other than that, enjoy your Christmas.
00:21:23But your mother, sir...
00:21:25That's an order.
00:21:26Goodbye.
00:21:30The room isn't that big.
00:21:32No problem at all.
00:21:34We love to cuddle.
00:21:36Oh, and Todd and Katie are in the next room over.
00:21:39Great.
00:21:39I'm sharing a wall with my ex and the psycho he left me for.
00:21:43Let me know if you guys need anything.
00:21:54One bed?
00:21:56You serious?
00:21:58Might be hard to keep my distance.
00:22:04Don't.
00:22:04Don't worry.
00:22:05We won't make too much noise with all the boning we're about to do.
00:22:09Ew.
00:22:09Oh, that's right, Belle.
00:22:11You don't know how to make a man make noise.
00:22:14Mm-mm, mm-mm, mm-mm.
00:22:16Good night.
00:22:17Mm-hmm.
00:22:17Ow, my nose.
00:22:23Oh, absolutely not.
00:22:25I'm not one of your clients.
00:22:27Clients?
00:22:28Hmm.
00:22:28Must be an American term.
00:22:30Well, um...
00:22:31I'll just take a shower and sleep on the floor, I guess.
00:22:49Oh, come on.
00:22:50Where's my phone?
00:22:57Okay, whatever.
00:23:00Oh, I'm sorry.
00:23:01I'm sorry.
00:23:09Oh, my God.
00:23:10Oh, my God.
00:23:12Oh, my God.
00:23:12Bollocks.
00:23:13I'm so sorry.
00:23:14No, no, it's fine.
00:23:15I, I, I, I'm just, I'm just gonna go.
00:23:22Oh.
00:23:23Yeah, of course.
00:23:29May I?
00:23:29Yeah, yeah, whatever you need.
00:23:32Um.
00:23:37Ah.
00:23:38Sorry, I, um, sleep shirtless.
00:23:41Hope you don't mind.
00:23:42Nope.
00:23:43Right.
00:23:48You know, it's bad enough my ex broke my heart and crashed Christmas,
00:23:51and now we have to share a frickin' wall with them.
00:23:53I'm sorry.
00:23:54That's awful.
00:23:55Want me to sing you a lullaby?
00:23:57No.
00:24:00Goodnight.
00:24:06Oh, my God.
00:24:07Are they having sex?
00:24:10Okay, this is my nightmare.
00:24:15I, I have an idea that might make them jealous.
00:24:17What?
00:24:18We should have sex.
00:24:23No, I, I am not sleeping with you.
00:24:25No, no, no, no.
00:24:26Pretend sex.
00:24:27We just got engaged.
00:24:29So, it would be weird if we didn't have sex.
00:24:31Right?
00:24:31Uh, okay, so...
00:24:33How, how do we have pretend sex?
00:24:37I'll show you.
00:24:39Belle!
00:24:40Belle!
00:24:41Belle!
00:24:41Oh, my God!
00:24:42That feels so good, Belle!
00:24:44I'm not doing that!
00:24:55You're the sexiest woman alive!
00:24:58Oh, Henry!
00:24:58This is the best sex I've ever had!
00:25:01Come here, Henry Harder!
00:25:02Oh, my God!
00:25:04Belle!
00:25:08That was crazy!
00:25:10That was a good idea!
00:25:10No!
00:25:11No!
00:25:34What am I doing?
00:25:36I'm paying him.
00:25:37He's a professional sex worker.
00:25:39I...
00:25:40I...
00:25:41I think that's enough pretending for tonight.
00:25:43Right.
00:25:44I guess we just go a little...
00:25:46Kired away.
00:25:48Goodnight.
00:25:50Goodnight.
00:26:09Oh...
00:26:10There's no way those two are having sex.
00:26:12I bet they're not even in the same bed.
00:26:16One way to find out.
00:26:18Huh?
00:26:23You better hurry up, because round two is waiting for you.
00:26:30Did you hear that?
00:26:31What?
00:26:32Shit, I forgot to lock the door.
00:26:38I knew it!
00:26:58I could get used to America.
00:27:05You watching me sleep?
00:27:08Uh...
00:27:09No.
00:27:10Uh...
00:27:11Um...
00:27:12Belle.
00:27:13About...
00:27:14Last night...
00:27:16I, uh...
00:27:19Don't fall for him, Belle.
00:27:21He has sex for a living.
00:27:23I'm probably just another client.
00:27:26Uh, we don't have to talk about it.
00:27:29I...
00:27:30I think it's best if we...
00:27:31Keep things professional.
00:27:34Professional.
00:27:36Right.
00:27:36Hm.
00:27:37Of course.
00:27:42Uh, well...
00:27:43I...
00:27:43I should...
00:27:44Probably wrap Grandpa's gift before you wake up.
00:27:47Yeah.
00:27:49I could've sworn she felt it too last night, but, uh...
00:27:52Maybe she was just pretending.
00:28:04Books.
00:28:06I think I like this girl.
00:28:15It's perfect.
00:28:17Grandpa's gonna love it.
00:28:19I can't wait to turn Belle's sweet gift to Grandpa into trash.
00:28:26Look, we just have to get their Christmas presents at the house and we'll be fine.
00:28:30Hmm.
00:28:33Grandpa Joe, in the spirit of Christmas, we've decided we're throwing you a holiday party.
00:28:40Katie, that's so thoughtful of you.
00:28:43It's so thoughtful of us, yes.
00:28:45Better brush up on your Monrovian lies, Mr Uber driver.
00:28:49The party is at a Monrovian restaurant.
00:28:52Better get packing.
00:28:55If I go to a Monrovian restaurant, people will recognize me.
00:29:02No one will know I'm the Prince in this cheesy Christmas sweater.
00:29:09Your Highness.
00:29:18Why is the busboy bowing?
00:29:21Monrovian...
00:29:21Monrovian...
00:29:22custom.
00:29:25How do you do?
00:29:28Thank you for your service.
00:29:30That is the dumbest custom I have ever heard of.
00:29:33Maybe Icon actually gets away with this.
00:29:37Oh my god, it's you!
00:29:43Oh my god, it's you!
00:29:46Oh my god, it's you!
00:29:46So good to see you!
00:29:48Monrovian!
00:29:49Such a small country!
00:29:51Listen, these people don't know who I am, so your discretion is appreciated, okay?
00:29:56Of course, sir!
00:30:00The busboy will show you to your table.
00:30:03Right, uh, right this way.
00:30:10The Prince of Monrovian touched me!
00:30:24That's it? Just one gift in a cheap gift bag?
00:30:27That's what you get for having a broke fiancé.
00:30:30Well, for your information, I got this gift on my own.
00:30:33Not everyone needs a man to support them.
00:30:36Why don't you and your broke boyfriend take your shitty gift and go sit over there at the bar?
00:30:43Grandpa doesn't need anything fancy.
00:30:45He wanted a gift from the heart.
00:30:47But you wouldn't understand that, because you don't have one, do you, Katie?
00:30:50I might be heartless, but at least I won't be homeless.
00:30:53The house is mine, whoreface!
00:30:59Wow! So many gifts!
00:31:03Thanks to my finance fiancé, we got you an all-you-can-eat Royal Cruz Cabo worth $200,000!
00:31:13This is very generous indeed!
00:31:16We can all go together after you give us the house!
00:31:20Belle, did you and the help? I mean, your fiancé.
00:31:24Did Grandpa anything for Christmas?
00:31:26Sure! It's right here.
00:31:29Oh. My. God.
00:31:32They replaced my gift with dog shit?
00:31:34Don't be embarrassed! Let's see it!
00:31:38Okay!
00:31:40Oh, my God! Belle!
00:31:43You ungrateful bitch!
00:31:45You got Grandpa dog shit?!
00:31:47No! I...
00:31:47Grandpa, look what Belle and that loser got you for Christmas.
00:31:52Oh!
00:31:53Oh!
00:31:59Oops.
00:32:09I'm so sorry, ma'am.
00:32:12These are Jimmy Chews!
00:32:14You got poo all over my chews! Get it off! Get it off!
00:32:18Ugh!
00:32:20Let me clean that up for you.
00:32:25Grandpa, that wasn't your gift.
00:32:27Give me one moment.
00:32:30You asshole.
00:32:31You switched the bags. Where is my gift for Grandpa?
00:32:35Oh, that old suit?
00:32:36I donated it. I thought it was for the homeless shelter.
00:32:38You threw away my gift for Grandpa and replaced it with shit?!
00:32:41To be fair, it was a pretty shitty gift to begin with.
00:32:45Guess you don't have anything to give to Grandpa.
00:32:47This is ridiculous.
00:32:50I'm gonna tell him the truth.
00:32:52You sure you want to start another fight, Belle?
00:32:54Wouldn't that upset Grandpa?
00:32:56Huh?
00:32:57What's going on? Belle?
00:33:00Wasn't I supposed to be opening your gift now?
00:33:03I would rather Grandpa think I didn't get him anything than risk his health.
00:33:07Grandpa, I'm...
00:33:08I'm sorry I didn't get you a gift. I...
00:33:12That's right. She didn't get you just one gift.
00:33:15But, um... she got you... many.
00:33:19Peterson!
00:33:21Voila!
00:33:31Well, let's see what you got, loser.
00:33:34I'm in finance.
00:33:36He does investments for JP Morgan and you?
00:33:39You open doors for people.
00:33:41There's no way you can afford better gifts than one.
00:33:46Oh, really?
00:33:47Yeah.
00:33:49Grandpa Joe, Merry Christmas.
00:33:52The royal crystal glass statue signed by the late, great King George III on his deathbed.
00:34:00That's his signature.
00:34:02How does he even have that?
00:34:03Second, the deed to a castle in the Czech Republic. It's quite roomy, actually.
00:34:12Indeed.
00:34:13Oh, and Belle mentioned that you liked my Rolex, so you may have it.
00:34:20You're giving me your watch?
00:34:23Yes.
00:34:24No, this is too generous, is it?
00:34:26Please, I insist.
00:34:27I hate to be the bearer of bad news, Grandpa, but there's no way a bottom feeder who sits in
00:34:33traffic for a living could afford this.
00:34:37It's fake.
00:34:38Looks real to me.
00:34:40Mm-mm.
00:34:40That's not King George III's signature.
00:34:43Because this is his real signature.
00:34:47Yeah.
00:34:48Look at that.
00:34:48That means that this is worthless.
00:34:52Oh!
00:34:57What are you doing?
00:34:58You just smashed a $20 million statue.
00:35:03His signature looked like that because he was on his deathbed.
00:35:09He was dying.
00:35:12Please, just stop this fighting.
00:35:16Please stop all this insanity.
00:35:18Grandpa's heart can't take this.
00:35:20Fine, for the sake of Christmas, we'll pretend the statue was real.
00:35:24But this...
00:35:27Who even has handwritten deeds anymore?
00:35:29Hello?
00:35:30Like, no one.
00:35:35That deed was written in 1756 before computers were invented.
00:35:44Yeah, right.
00:35:46And I'm sure this royal Rolex right here is ancient, too, huh?
00:35:51Give that back. Give that back.
00:35:52Now you make a fool out of Grandpa with your cheap knockoff on Christmas of all days.
00:35:57You're a sadistic psychopath.
00:36:01Todd, stop it!
00:36:03Whatever.
00:36:04I can get Grandpa 10 Rolexes if I wanted, and all of them would be real.
00:36:11Only the royal Rolex watch has diamond gears.
00:36:16You just smashed the royal Rolex!
00:36:24Oh, fuck that watch is real.
00:36:25Of course it's real!
00:36:27All of this is real, ya fool!
00:36:30Ah!
00:36:31You idiots!
00:36:32The castle is real!
00:36:35We could've used that money!
00:36:39You brought...
00:36:41...man into our families?
00:36:43The man who ruins Christmas?
00:36:46All of the gifts are destroyed!
00:36:49Well, um...
00:36:51Not, uh...
00:36:52Not every gift, Grandpa Joe.
00:36:57This one is, uh...
00:36:58From Belle and I.
00:37:10This is the true meaning of Christmas.
00:37:14Katie.
00:37:16You, too...
00:37:18Keep doing this.
00:37:19And you better find a hotel to stay in it, Chris.
00:37:23Oh!
00:37:25Oh!
00:37:26Hey, hey, hey!
00:37:27The hell are we gonna do now?
00:37:28Rebel will for sure get them the house.
00:37:31Once I expose Belle's boyfriend as a fraud, she's never getting the house.
00:37:36J.P. Morgan just promoted me.
00:37:39I have access to royal accounts.
00:37:43I can prove he's not on the royal payroll.
00:37:45You're a genius, baby!
00:37:53I would like to give a formal apology for storing the gifts.
00:37:57But I promise to replace all of them thanks to my new promotion.
00:38:01Cheers to my new loaded fiancé, J.P. Morgan's new account manager to the royal family.
00:38:09Woo!
00:38:12He's the account manager for the royal family.
00:38:14He'll find out who I am.
00:38:18He's gonna say that you don't really work for the royal family.
00:38:21We're screwed.
00:38:22It's okay.
00:38:22Don't worry about that.
00:38:24This guy is full of crap, and I'm going to prove it.
00:38:28Congratulations, Todd.
00:38:29Now tell me, how did you land such a marvelous job?
00:38:34Well, I've been courting the royal family for months now.
00:38:37Treating them to five-star dinners, designer suits, and yacht parties.
00:38:43I bet you've never been to Lake Romo, the royal family, have you, bitch?
00:38:49That's a lie.
00:38:50I've never heard of this man in my life.
00:38:53That's great.
00:38:55Well, if you'll excuse me, I have to use the loo.
00:39:08The Royal Family
00:39:10Your Highness, sir.
00:39:12Our new account manager is misappropriating funds.
00:39:15He's spending it on yacht parties and five-star dinners.
00:39:19Look into it.
00:39:20Of course.
00:39:21Of course.
00:39:21Of course, Your Highness.
00:39:22I am so sorry.
00:39:23I will take care of this.
00:39:24Great.
00:39:27Gary!
00:39:29Bring me the royal account!
00:39:32Well, it's the man of the hour.
00:39:35I was just about to tell everyone about how you're lying to all them.
00:39:39You're not a driver for the royal family.
00:39:43What are you talking about?
00:39:45Grandpa, this liar isn't even employed by the royal family because he isn't on the royal payroll.
00:39:53I'm not on the payroll because I get paid in Monrovian cash.
00:40:01Really?
00:40:02Then where is it?
00:40:03Okay.
00:40:04I've got some right here.
00:40:08My face is on the cash.
00:40:10Let's see that Monrovian cash.
00:40:19Only an insane person would rip up cash.
00:40:21And isn't it a felony?
00:40:23She's right.
00:40:24Ripping up cash is a felony.
00:40:25Come on, explain yourself.
00:40:27That's right.
00:40:28It's a felony in America, but in Monrovia, it's a tradition.
00:40:34That's right.
00:40:35It's a New Year's tradition.
00:40:36We tear up the first bill of the year.
00:40:42Darn it.
00:40:43I'm all out of cash.
00:40:44What a hot tradition.
00:40:46You see, I live with the royal family, so typically they cover all my expenses for my services.
00:40:53Technically not a lie.
00:40:55Really?
00:40:55Then how do you buy things?
00:40:58Like fake gifts.
00:41:00Oh, I know.
00:41:01You stole them.
00:41:01Hmm?
00:41:02No, I don't steal.
00:41:03I use my card.
00:41:07See?
00:41:08That's the Royal Monrovian credit card.
00:41:11Oh, please.
00:41:12Anyone can tell that card is fake, just like everything else about him.
00:41:15Well, there's one way to find out.
00:41:17Put the entire party on that card, hmm?
00:41:20Waitress?
00:41:21Could we get the check?
00:41:23Over there.
00:41:24The total is $10,000.
00:41:27Hey, look, you don't actually have to pay.
00:41:29We can just tell them you don't have anything to prove.
00:41:31Run the card.
00:41:37Thank you so much, Your Highness.
00:41:40The card went through?
00:41:41The card works.
00:41:44Okay, great.
00:41:45My fiancé covered your entire Christmas party, so let's drop it.
00:41:47Now.
00:41:48Not unless you stole it from the royal family of Monrovia.
00:41:51I demand that you read the name on that card.
00:41:54Whose name is it?
00:41:56Oh no, my real name is on the card.
00:42:04Who the hell is Harold Bunrovingham?
00:42:07He doesn't know my real name.
00:42:09This is in his card.
00:42:10He stole it.
00:42:11Wait, let me see that.
00:42:13Why does this have the royal insignia on it?
00:42:16You stole the prince's card?
00:42:19Well, you should be sent to jail for identity theft.
00:42:23What sort of a person did you bring into our family, Belle?
00:42:27Tell me.
00:42:28Tell me it's not true.
00:42:29No, I didn't.
00:42:30He didn't.
00:42:31You stole the credit card.
00:42:33No, no.
00:42:34I didn't steal the card.
00:42:36The prince gave it to me.
00:42:41The prince gave it to you?
00:42:44All right.
00:42:45Give him a call then.
00:42:46Have him confirm it.
00:42:47Yeah, call him and put it on Speakerfeld.
00:42:49Well, I can't call the prince.
00:42:51The prince is me.
00:42:53Okay, everybody stop.
00:42:54Okay, the truth has to come out.
00:42:57Grandpa, I am so, so sorry.
00:43:00Henry has been lying to everybody.
00:43:03Henry can't call the prince because he is the prince.
00:43:12Him?
00:43:16Well, then I'm the Sultan of Brunei.
00:43:20I think the waitress has been drinking.
00:43:23You should go before I get you fired.
00:43:26Honestly, if he's stealing the royal credit card, who knows what else he's capable of.
00:43:30Aunt Moira is right.
00:43:31You are a danger to this family, and I'm gonna call the cops.
00:43:35You're finished.
00:43:36Okay, you have to tell him the truth.
00:43:38You could go to jail for life.
00:43:39I have a feeling this will all be sorted out soon.
00:43:42No, you don't understand.
00:43:43In America, what you do for a living is not legal.
00:43:47What I do for a living?
00:43:49What the bloody hell are you talking about?
00:43:53Well, cops are called.
00:43:54You're finished, Uber boy.
00:43:56You're gonna be spending the rest of your life behind bars.
00:44:03Oh, perfect timing.
00:44:04You're under arrest for embezzlement.
00:44:06Even if he proves she's not embezzling, they'll find out he's a cowboy and lock him up forever.
00:44:11Officer, sir, I swear there must be a misunderstanding.
00:44:17I'm...
00:44:18Not you.
00:44:19Him.
00:44:20Let's go.
00:44:21Me?
00:44:21Whoa, whoa, whoa.
00:44:22I called you guys.
00:44:24What are you talking about?
00:44:25Demas, you're under arrest for embezzling funds from JP Morgan and the royal family of Monrovia.
00:44:29No.
00:44:30I don't know what you're talking about.
00:44:33200k cruise ship, yacht parties, designer suits sound familiar?
00:44:36This is a setup.
00:44:38My...
00:44:38My future son-in-law would never do that.
00:44:40Yeah, you should arrest him for fraud and identity theft.
00:44:44He schemed this entire thing.
00:44:47Just...
00:44:47Give me one phone call.
00:44:49I will call the CEO of JP Morgan and he will clear all of this up.
00:44:56Ah, there he is right now.
00:44:58Huh.
00:44:59Thank God you called, sir.
00:45:00You are fired, fuckwad!
00:45:02You have been stealing from JP Morgan for months.
00:45:04Enjoy prison, asshole!
00:45:06No!
00:45:08Whoa!
00:45:10I...
00:45:11Baby, baby!
00:45:11You believe me, right?
00:45:12You believe me, don't you?
00:45:13You bail me out!
00:45:14You love me!
00:45:14You love me!
00:45:15Don't insult me, Todd!
00:45:17I don't date poor people!
00:45:19We're done!
00:45:22Babe!
00:45:22Babe, that's not possible!
00:45:23I can't go to jail!
00:45:25I'm scared of dropping the soap, baby!
00:45:29Okay, how did you pull that off?
00:45:31How do you know people like JP Morgan?
00:45:32Well, I should tell them the truth.
00:45:34We...
00:45:35We're...
00:45:36Together.
00:45:37Oh, my God.
00:45:38He has clients at JP Morgan.
00:45:40Uh...
00:45:41Pardon me.
00:45:41No, actually...
00:45:42It's okay, the details aren't important.
00:45:44You got me the house and that's...
00:45:46That's what matters.
00:45:47You can wipe that smug smile off of your twat face.
00:45:51You don't have the house yet.
00:45:55Grandpa said whichever granddaughter got married first wins the house
00:45:58and your whore of a daughter is single now, so...
00:46:00I win!
00:46:01No!
00:46:02Grandpa said whoever has the most Christmas spirit gets the key.
00:46:07Including me!
00:46:08And you can't exclude my darling daughter just because she's single.
00:46:12Mom, stop calling me that!
00:46:15Tomorrow?
00:46:17We have a bake-off!
00:46:18And whoever bakes the best Christmas cookies wins the house.
00:46:25Daddy?
00:46:27What do you think about cookies?
00:46:30Your grandmother loved cookies.
00:46:34I think it's a lovely idea.
00:46:37Fine.
00:46:37Deal.
00:46:38How festive!
00:46:40And you better bring tissues for when you sob over your homeless bitch mother.
00:46:45Hmm.
00:46:47Well if you'll excuse us Aunt Moira, I've got to go find a recipe to kick your ass.
00:46:54But Mom, I can't bake!
00:46:56I'm just a single loser!
00:47:00Pull yourself together!
00:47:02We are gonna win that bake-off!
00:47:04And get you the house!
00:47:05Even if we have to put Gramps in the hospital!
00:47:08Do you wanna put Gramps in the hospital?
00:47:10No!
00:47:11But I'll make damn sure that Belle's cookies will!
00:47:14Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
00:47:20Are you ready to bake Christmas cookies for Grandpa?
00:47:22Okay.
00:47:23Who do you think?
00:47:24You can come into Grandpa's kitchen after what you did to my daughter?
00:47:28You got my fiancee arrested!
00:47:30Yeah, well he was my fiancee before you spread your legs.
00:47:34You bitch!
00:47:35Do not touch my fiancee!
00:47:39Whatever!
00:47:40When Grandpa tastes our cookies, he'll know exactly who deserves the house.
00:47:45The kitchen is taken!
00:47:48He'll have to bake with the crack addicts under the bridge.
00:47:53Fine.
00:47:55Bye!
00:48:01Where are we gonna find the kitchen?
00:48:04I wanna save the house, but really all I wanted to do is make cookies for Grandpa's last Christmas.
00:48:10Uh, just give me a moment.
00:48:17Peterson, I need you to find me an estate with a nice kitchen.
00:48:23But sir, it's the Christmas holiday and we're in Buffalo.
00:48:26Just find it.
00:48:28When do you expect to move in?
00:48:3020 minutes.
00:48:42I've never been to a royal estate before.
00:48:45Hey, how long has the royal family had a place in upstate New York?
00:48:47It's, uh, fairly recent.
00:48:53Ah!
00:48:55A bowl!
00:48:56Made what's removed it.
00:48:58Here you go.
00:49:01I, um...
00:49:03Gotta be honest, I, uh, never baked before.
00:49:07Well...
00:49:07It's time to learn.
00:49:30Hmm.
00:49:32My grandma used to bake with me every year.
00:49:34Do you love Christmas?
00:49:38So how come your family never did this with you?
00:49:41Hmm.
00:49:42My parents were always preoccupied with work.
00:49:47My dad was, um, not around very much.
00:49:50Yeah, mine too.
00:49:52Is he not coming home for Christmas?
00:49:54No, he, he died a few years back.
00:49:57So sorry.
00:49:59My granddad died a few years back.
00:50:01It must've been hard.
00:50:03It suddenly became...
00:50:04a very big responsibility.
00:50:07I'm sure it was very hard for you as well.
00:50:10Not really.
00:50:11I mean, he, he really wasn't around much,
00:50:13and it's not like he was a good person.
00:50:16Yeah, he lied to my mom a bunch,
00:50:18and she gave him way too many chances, so...
00:50:20But, that's why I have my rule.
00:50:23Lie to me, and you're done.
00:50:25Great.
00:50:26I tell her I'm really a prince.
00:50:28She'll never forgive me.
00:50:29Oh.
00:50:32You missed a spot.
00:50:34May I?
00:50:53Wait.
00:50:54Does she not like me?
00:50:57Look, I want you to know...
00:50:59I don't care who you are.
00:51:01Yeah.
00:51:02Oh, I...
00:51:03Santa Claus.
00:51:04Do you know Cupid?
00:51:06If Santa's arrow...
00:51:08Say to my heart, I wanna fall.
00:51:12In love is Christmas.
00:51:13Santa, that would be the greatest gift of all.
00:51:17Send me an extra star game to hang next to me on the wall.
00:51:23Santa, send me a lot for Christmas.
00:51:27If Santa, that would be the greatest gift of all.
00:51:31Do we take this to the royal bedroom?
00:51:34Yes.
00:51:35Mm-hmm.
00:51:37If Santa, that would be the greatest gift of all.
00:51:42I...
00:51:42I...
00:51:43Belle, I...
00:51:44I...
00:51:44I just...
00:51:45Can't...
00:51:46Quite yet.
00:51:47Wait, what...
00:51:48What do you mean?
00:51:49I can't sleep with her if I'm lying to her.
00:51:51But if I tell her the truth, we could lose her.
00:51:55I...
00:51:55Belle, I...
00:51:57I...
00:51:58I...
00:51:58I'm not.
00:51:59I...
00:52:02I...
00:52:03I...
00:52:03You must not like me.
00:52:06Belle.
00:52:08I...
00:52:09No, it's...
00:52:10It's fine.
00:52:10No, it...
00:52:11No.
00:52:11Really, I should get back to passing the cookies anyway, so...
00:52:13No, it's...
00:52:14No, it's...
00:52:15No, it's...
00:52:18It, it's...
00:52:22Hey.
00:52:26this cookie can be just for grandpa
00:52:31yeah
00:52:40all right well the cookies need to cool before i can frost them so we should clean up
00:52:52look at their basic boring ass bitch cookies they should be grateful we're making their
00:52:59cookies a little bit better with some laxative
00:53:05grandpa will poop his pants and blame it on bell
00:53:12i'm gonna go put the frosting on the cookies
00:53:20oh those are beautiful sweetheart they look delicious bell thank you
00:53:30what do we have here three-year-olds on tiktok could have made better cookies
00:53:35but they could never make an elaborate gingerbread house
00:53:40that was made by my perfect daughter for you you cannot compare this gingerbread mansion
00:53:47with basic dough turds
00:53:50how did they make that i don't think they did
00:53:54my goodness that's magnificent katie you must have worked days
00:54:00katie is absolutely exhausted from all of that gumdrop gluing
00:54:05but lack of sleep is a small price to pay for yuletide spirit
00:54:10very impressive house
00:54:12must have taken a lot of work
00:54:15but not from you
00:54:17because you
00:54:18purchased
00:54:19a house
00:54:20at a bakery
00:54:26how dare you accuse us of purchasing this from a bakery
00:54:30with a fake receipt
00:54:32it has your signature
00:54:35you use grandpa's credit card
00:54:37to buy the gingerbread house
00:54:39you're just stalling to prevent grandpa from trying bell's turd cookies
00:54:43you're right katie
00:54:45grandpa should try one
00:54:46because it's actually homemade
00:54:48all right
00:54:49here
00:54:52enjoy
00:54:54please
00:54:55please
00:54:56it's like bottom shelf
00:54:57betty crocker
00:54:58actually it's grandma's recipe
00:55:00that way she can still be here even though she's gone
00:55:04you understood
00:55:06christmas spirit assignment perfectly bell
00:55:09i can't like her cookies more than mine
00:55:11he won't
00:55:12once he's hospitalized for dehydration
00:55:15go ahead dad
00:55:16take a bite
00:55:17don't mind if i tell
00:55:30you
00:55:31you
00:55:32you
00:55:32you
00:55:32you
00:55:36why aren't the laxatives working
00:55:38maybe it takes a while for the drugs to start working
00:55:40what
00:55:40what to start working
00:55:42sugar levels
00:55:43we all know grandpa's sugar levels are so important
00:55:46by sugar levels
00:55:48do you mean the laxatives that you put on our cookie
00:55:53the only reason that grandpa is not sick right now is because we threw out that cookie
00:55:59we didn't do anything to your cookies
00:56:01well then
00:56:03why don't you give it a try
00:56:05i'll try your gross cookie
00:56:08why don't you give it a try
00:56:21what the world
00:56:28no
00:56:29no
00:56:30no
00:56:34no
00:56:48Oh, that's right. I didn't throw out that cookie. I left it right here on this plate.
00:56:53You're eating that cookie.
00:56:58Oh, oh God.
00:57:10Katie, you could have killed Grandpa.
00:57:12That wasn't me. The laxatives were in your purse. I saw them.
00:57:16Oh, right. Another lie. Just like your gingerbread house.
00:57:19I admit, we bought the gingerbread house, but I would never hurt you, Grandpa.
00:57:23I am disappointed in you, Katie. With my heart condition, I could have died of dehydration.
00:57:31Why isn't everything my fault? It was Belle.
00:57:33Belle didn't bring a fraudster into this house. She didn't break all of my Christmas gifts, and she didn't put
00:57:40laxatives in the cookies.
00:57:43But...
00:57:43I think you and your mother should go stay at a hotel.
00:57:49But, Grandpa, I...
00:57:51Enough of your shenanigans. Belle, the key to the house is yours.
00:57:58Thank you, Grandpa.
00:58:01All I wanted was a place for Mom to live.
00:58:11Why is the Queen calling in?
00:58:13Oh!
00:58:17Um...
00:58:17Oh, that's just a little inside joke that I have between me and my mom.
00:58:24Just obsessed with the royal family, I guess.
00:58:29Yabby!
00:58:31Hi, Mom!
00:58:33Mother, why are you calling me?
00:58:35You said you would leave me alone until New Year's.
00:58:37Is that any way to talk to your mother, Henry?
00:58:40Since you bought an estate in the armpit of America,
00:58:45stopped responding to Peterson,
00:58:48called off the guards,
00:58:49and failed to send me any photographs,
00:58:52I thought we'd spend Christmas together
00:58:54and find out exactly what's going on.
00:58:57No, we can't spend Christmas together.
00:58:59I'm in Buffalo.
00:59:02Give me the phone.
00:59:04Yes?
00:59:06We would love to invite your family for Christmas.
00:59:09Henry's family is our family.
00:59:11How is Mom coming to Christmas
00:59:13without everyone finding out she's the Queen?
00:59:15She'd like to speak with you.
00:59:21Glad somebody understands hospitality.
00:59:26Why is the Royal Caravan in our driveway?
00:59:29Also, we're outside.
00:59:31Peterson gave us the address.
00:59:41Oh, is that the Prince?
00:59:46That would be my parents.
00:59:50They work for the royal family, too.
00:59:55As servants.
00:59:58Oh, okay.
00:59:59Pardon me.
01:00:00One moment.
01:00:03I'll be right back.
01:00:13Ah, there you are.
01:00:16What's going on, Henry?
01:00:18I thought your girlfriend was an heiress.
01:00:20This house is rather small.
01:00:22Um, about that.
01:00:24She's not an heiress.
01:00:26She's, uh, she's a regular American.
01:00:31A commoner?
01:00:32An American?
01:00:33Henry, are you trying to kill me?
01:00:36What else aren't you telling me?
01:00:38She doesn't know that I'm the Prince?
01:00:42Or that you're the Queen and King?
01:00:48Well, in God's name does she think we are.
01:00:50Servants?
01:00:52Oh, no.
01:00:54Henry, where are you?
01:00:56If she sees you dressed like this, she will know I'm the Prince.
01:01:00Please, please, go change.
01:01:01I like this girl.
01:01:03Please, go.
01:01:04Go.
01:01:08Hey, where are your parents?
01:01:10They, uh, they needed a moment to freshen up a little.
01:01:15Let's go this way.
01:01:19Consider it, my dear.
01:01:21Do you remember how dumb I was when I was his age?
01:01:25When I was chasing after you?
01:01:27I refuse to pose as a commoner.
01:01:31Besides, what a devil we were.
01:01:44Happy holidays.
01:01:50It's lovely to meet you.
01:01:54Well, uh, these are my parents.
01:01:58Vicky.
01:02:00Vicky?
01:02:00And, uh, Eddy.
01:02:04Oh, thank you, milady, for your hospitality.
01:02:11This must be the guest house.
01:02:15She's pretty.
01:02:16We're in America.
01:02:17I take that as a compliment, Mother.
01:02:20Something's not right.
01:02:22I love your necklace.
01:02:23So expensive for someone who cleans toilets for a living.
01:02:30It was a gift from Elidy the Queen for cleaning Flo so well.
01:02:35Yeah.
01:02:36You know, our floors are absolutely filthy.
01:02:40You wouldn't mind cleaning them while you're here for us, would you?
01:02:42I normally don't speak to the hell, but I'll make an exception for you.
01:02:46Well, aren't you a peach?
01:02:49I'm ready to give them both the royal smackdown.
01:02:52I think it's time to set the table.
01:02:54Would you, would you like to help me, Vicky?
01:02:56Help?
01:02:57What?
01:02:58Would you be willing to set our table just like you would for the royal family?
01:03:02I mean, I'd really like it.
01:03:04She's never set a table before in her life.
01:03:07She'll give herself away.
01:03:09Right.
01:03:10Governor.
01:03:18Wow.
01:03:23I haven't seen such a beautiful table setting since my wife was alive.
01:03:30Cheers to new beginnings.
01:03:32Welcome, Vicky and Eddie, to our family.
01:03:37Cheers.
01:03:39Americans are so loud.
01:03:41And, ew, there's so much dairy in their food.
01:03:44My arteries are clogging just looking at this.
01:03:47Oh, don't be so stiff, Vicky.
01:03:50I quite like it.
01:03:51And look at our boy.
01:03:54He's never looked happier.
01:04:00We must be getting on.
01:04:05You owe me.
01:04:07I can drive you right now.
01:04:10Oh!
01:04:11I insist.
01:04:13That would be lovely.
01:04:14We could use the time to get acquainted.
01:04:18I hate her.
01:04:20Ever since we were little, she's always gotten everything.
01:04:22And now she gets the house.
01:04:24Don't you worry about this shitty house.
01:04:26We are going to get you a palace.
01:04:29But how?
01:04:30We're going to follow those servants back to the royal estate.
01:04:34And that you, the prince.
01:04:52Oh, my God.
01:04:54It's the prince.
01:04:59Come to me, my prince.
01:05:01Madam, I am not the prince.
01:05:04That's exactly what a secret prince would say.
01:05:07I know a prince when I see one.
01:05:10Marry me.
01:05:11Make me your princess.
01:05:12Madam, madam, madam.
01:05:13I am not.
01:05:14Madam, madam, madam.
01:05:15I am not.
01:05:17Madam, madam, please.
01:05:18Oh, dear.
01:05:22Kitty, what are you doing?
01:05:24What does it look like?
01:05:25I'm getting a prince.
01:05:27Bow to me, bitches.
01:05:28I'm your queen now.
01:05:30My first act of business?
01:05:32You're all fired.
01:05:34That man is not a prince.
01:05:36He's a servant.
01:05:38What?
01:05:39I...
01:05:39I touched a servant?
01:05:45I tried to warn you, madam.
01:05:48Bow, can we a little chit-chat inside for a moment?
01:05:53Is my own mother going to give up my identity?
01:05:57Uh, mother, uh, can't it wait?
01:06:00Uh, we have loads to prepare for, for, uh, Christmas.
01:06:05Don't question my authority, Henry.
01:06:07You must obey me.
01:06:10I'll, uh, uh, I'll be inside.
01:06:15I'll fake for the family, but I won't lie to her.
01:06:20What's your plan with my son?
01:06:23Well, I really like him, but I can't be with him because of his job.
01:06:29Well, his occupation does ask lots of him.
01:06:32Never enough to go round.
01:06:34Great.
01:06:35So he's not just a prostitute.
01:06:36He's a busy prostitute.
01:06:38He's been through a lot since his grandfather died.
01:06:40But it's a family business.
01:06:44Wait, so him and his grandfather both had sex with people for a living?
01:06:49What?
01:06:50You think my Henry and my beloved father are prostitutes?
01:06:54Wait, but if he's not a prostitute, then what is he?
01:06:57No!
01:06:59Don't!
01:07:05Don't!
01:07:08Uh, don't have a conversation without me.
01:07:12Where are we talking about?
01:07:14Well, I was just inviting Belle and a grandpa and a mom to the royal nunius ball.
01:07:20The royal ball?
01:07:21Mm-hmm.
01:07:21Seriously?
01:07:22Yes.
01:07:24That's when the prince will reveal his identity and stop his American shenanigans.
01:07:31Oh my gosh, this is incredible.
01:07:33Grandpa's going to be so excited.
01:07:36God, I can't wait to tell him.
01:07:38Oh, I...
01:07:43Why are you dressed like a prince in the family portrait?
01:07:47Out with it, Henry.
01:07:50Well, uh...
01:07:52The royal family had us painted like royalty for our years of service.
01:08:00Okay.
01:08:03I'm gonna go tell Grandpa.
01:08:06Why did you invite her to the ball?
01:08:09She'll know I'm the prince.
01:08:10That's the point, Henry.
01:08:12I would any woman not want to fall in love with a prince.
01:08:16You think she loves me?
01:08:17I'm not blind, darling.
01:08:19And if you love her, you'll tell her the truth and stop lying.
01:08:24But what if I tell her the truth and she doesn't forgive me?
01:08:29It's a risk you'll have to take.
01:08:32But if you don't tell her you're the prince before the ball, I will.
01:08:47Everyone got an invitation to the royal new year ball except me?
01:08:51And I licked a servant!
01:08:53You expected to be invited after the way you treated Henry's parents?
01:08:57This is bullshit.
01:08:59Get me an invitation now!
01:09:01I would love to get you one.
01:09:03Except I'm just a lowly driver.
01:09:06Remember?
01:09:09I'll get an invitation anyway.
01:09:14Oh, Merry Christmas.
01:09:18Ah, yes.
01:09:21Oh!
01:09:22Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry.
01:09:25I'm so clumsy.
01:09:26Excuse me, ma'am.
01:09:27Do I know you?
01:09:28No!
01:09:29No, no, of course not!
01:09:30But you know what?
01:09:31You are so handsome.
01:09:33I like you.
01:09:35Oh, oh, oh, pretty's the matter.
01:09:43Time to go bag of prints.
01:09:49Hey, babe.
01:09:50You know that sex tape you have a you and Belle?
01:09:53I want everyone at the ball to know little Miss Perfect is a dirty little bitch.
01:09:58Did Belle receive the gifts I sent over this morning?
01:10:02What gifts are you talking about?
01:10:04Come on, this way.
01:10:07We are here to dress the family for the royal ball.
01:10:10With the exception of, and I quote, the trashy cousin.
01:10:13No!
01:10:13No, absolutely not!
01:10:15Please, you need to leave!
01:10:16Now!
01:10:17These are orders of the Queen.
01:10:19This is not the way to be treating your royal stylist.
01:10:22Uh, why is the royal stylist here?
01:10:28Who are these people?
01:10:29This is quite normal for, uh, for, uh, try not to lie, Henry, Christmas present from
01:10:37the Queen.
01:10:38Uh-huh.
01:10:40And why would the Queen care about us?
01:10:42Because the Queen is a very generous woman.
01:10:48And, Belle, listen, I...
01:10:50Your, your highness!
01:10:52Uh-uh.
01:10:53I mean, uh, Henry.
01:10:54We have to go back to the palace.
01:10:56Your mother needs you.
01:10:58This way.
01:10:58Uh, wait, your highness?
01:11:00Okay, Henry, what is going on?
01:11:02Why is everyone acting so weird?
01:11:04These people are here to help you get ready.
01:11:06I will explain everything at the ball.
01:11:09I promise.
01:11:10Okay.
01:11:18Whatever happens tomorrow, I-I want you to know that this is the best Christmas I've
01:11:24ever had.
01:11:26Oh, and I lift you a gift.
01:11:42What did he mean, whatever happens?
01:11:51Wow.
01:11:57Sweetheart, you look beautiful.
01:12:02Dad, want to have some champagne?
01:12:04Okay.
01:12:12Too bad your garage sale tiara doesn't cover your whore face.
01:12:16What are you even doing here?
01:12:18Forget Todd.
01:12:19We came to bag Katie a prince.
01:12:22Where is he?
01:12:24I don't care about the prince.
01:12:25I'm here to see Henry.
01:12:26Oh.
01:12:27Did your fiancé dump you again?
01:12:29He's probably cheating on you.
01:12:32And you're so used to being a cuck.
01:12:34He's not cheating on me.
01:12:36Really?
01:12:36Then where is he?
01:12:38He's busy working.
01:12:40Come on.
01:12:40The guy takes secret phone calls and leaves all the time?
01:12:44Take it from me?
01:12:45He's probably boning someone else.
01:12:47Henry did need to tell me something.
01:12:50Maybe they're right.
01:12:51Maybe there is someone else.
01:12:53And after tonight, he might see you a little differently.
01:12:57What are you talking about?
01:13:00You'll see.
01:13:00Just wait for the show.
01:13:03Now, let's go bag a prince for my little princess.
01:13:14See that guy over there?
01:13:17Him?
01:13:18Of course.
01:13:20He asked me to give you this slideshow to play.
01:13:24If it's for the prince, I guess it's okay.
01:13:31God, she's perfect.
01:13:32I have to tell the truth before it's too late.
01:13:38You look so beautiful, Belle.
01:13:41Um, Belle, there isn't much time.
01:13:43Can we talk?
01:13:44Oh, God, he wants to talk because there's someone else.
01:13:49I know that this was just a contract thing, and I didn't mean to lie to you.
01:13:54I can't believe this is happening to me.
01:13:56Again.
01:13:57God, I'm an idiot.
01:13:59It's...
01:13:59I'm fine.
01:14:00Okay, I already know.
01:14:03What?
01:14:04You know?
01:14:05How?
01:14:06Look, I wish you had told me that you were in love with somebody else before...
01:14:09Wait a second, you think I'm in love with someone else?
01:14:13No, there is no one else but you.
01:14:20Oh, good.
01:14:22Because I am in love with you.
01:14:24I love you too, Belle.
01:14:26You know, I haven't felt what family's supposed to feel like since Grandma died,
01:14:30but you brought that feeling back.
01:14:33And you gave me the American Christmas I always wanted.
01:14:36Well, if there's no one else, then what did you want to tell me?
01:14:39I, um...
01:14:41I don't want to work for you.
01:14:44I want to be with you.
01:14:46But, um, I'm not the person I said that I was.
01:14:49I'm actually...
01:14:49Your Highness!
01:14:53Henry, you have to go.
01:14:54I have your jacket.
01:14:56Forgive me, I...
01:14:57I'm sorry.
01:14:58Your Highness?
01:14:59I'm sorry.
01:15:01What the hell is going on?
01:15:08Ladies and gentlemen, please stand for His Highness King Edward of Monrovia
01:15:14and Her Majesty Queen Victoria.
01:15:35And for the first time publicly in the United States,
01:15:39Prince Harold von Monrovingham of Monrovia.
01:16:01Oh my God.
01:16:04He's a prince.
01:16:07That's what he was trying to tell me?
01:16:09He's the prince of Monrovia.
01:16:11I'm gonna faint.
01:16:15I knew I liked this kid.
01:16:17He's the prince?
01:16:19What the fuck?
01:16:20He's the prince?
01:16:21That means...
01:16:23I asked the Queen of Monrovia to scrub our toilets.
01:16:26Oh my God!
01:16:29Let her have her moment for now.
01:16:32My name is Prince Harold von Monrovingham.
01:16:36But to just one person here, I'm just Henry.
01:16:43You hid your identity.
01:16:45Why couldn't you just tell me?
01:16:47I didn't know if I could find someone who would love me for me.
01:16:51And not just my crown.
01:16:53So you lied.
01:16:54I know I lied.
01:16:55But I didn't think that love was something that was possible for me until I met you.
01:17:00And now I'm terrified that you'll never forgive me.
01:17:05How could I ever trust you again?
01:17:07I told you I hate liars.
01:17:10And that's exactly why I wanted to make this public.
01:17:13So that I could win you back.
01:17:15Oh, will you...
01:17:17Will you marry me?
01:17:20For real this time.
01:17:22Be my princess.
01:17:28I...
01:17:28Stop.
01:17:30There's no way this bitch is becoming princess.
01:17:33Can't those Americans do anything normally?
01:17:37This whoreface is trash and doesn't deserve to be royalty.
01:17:41Please, Katie.
01:17:42Stop.
01:17:43You're embarrassing yourself.
01:17:44The only thing embarrassing about this family is that little twat.
01:17:48Her old goody-goody is an act.
01:17:51She fooled your son and she doesn't deserve to be a princess.
01:17:54What are you talking about?
01:17:55Enough with this American insanity.
01:17:59My son was mid-proposal.
01:18:01Go on.
01:18:02Go on, Henry.
01:18:03No attention to this commoner.
01:18:05Your Majesty's.
01:18:06About earlier.
01:18:07I'm sorry.
01:18:07Sorry about what?
01:18:09Asking me to scrub your toilets?
01:18:11We apologize, your highnesses.
01:18:14But there's been a bit of misunderstanding.
01:18:16No, I understand who you are very well.
01:18:20God.
01:18:24Get off me.
01:18:25Don't you want to know the truth about your future daughter-in-law?
01:18:29She is a whore.
01:18:30Watch it.
01:18:31There's nothing that you can say that can make me love Belle any less.
01:18:34You're a liar.
01:18:35I have nothing to hide.
01:18:38No.
01:18:39Apparently put it all out there.
01:18:42Remember that little video you took with Todd?
01:18:44I don't think he'll like it once he sees what trash you are.
01:18:48That video is private.
01:18:50What video, Henry?
01:18:52What is she talking about?
01:18:53Now ask yourselves.
01:18:55Is this the kind of ho, ho, ho you want for a princess of your shitty country?
01:19:01Hit it.
01:19:11What the fuck?
01:19:12Where's Belle's sex tape?
01:19:14Belle, is that true?
01:19:16Don't listen to a word this lunatic has to say.
01:19:19She assaulted me and has been stalking the prince all along.
01:19:23He's lying.
01:19:25Just look at the video.
01:19:26I gave it to the tech guy.
01:19:28And I promptly took care of it.
01:19:31Enough.
01:19:32This is nothing but a case of revenge porn.
01:19:35Now bow to the royal family and beg for forgiveness.
01:19:39What?
01:19:50Please forgive me.
01:20:21Not just to me.
01:20:23Guards.
01:20:24Now how's that for being the...
01:20:26Oh, eh?
01:20:27I'm calling my lawyer.
01:20:29Wait.
01:20:30I should be the princess of Monroia.
01:20:32Me!
01:20:33Now, where were we?
01:20:35Henry?
01:20:35Oh, yes.
01:20:36On one knee.
01:20:37Oh, right.
01:20:45Belle.
01:20:46Will you do me the honor?
01:20:48Being the wife of Prince Harold von Munrovingen.
01:20:58No.
01:21:01I don't know who that is.
01:21:07But I will marry Henry.
01:21:11But never lie to me again.
01:21:13I promise I will never, ever lie to you ever again, my beautiful Belle.
01:21:19Then I forgive you.
01:21:20Because I'm a prince?
01:21:22No, because you're you.
01:21:24I don't need these presents, this crown or the royal estate.
01:21:28I just want you.
01:21:39No kiss already.
01:21:41That's an order.
01:21:47To the future princess of Monrovia.
01:21:52Princess Belle.
01:22:05Oh, these are quite comfy, actually.
01:22:08Oh, you know what?
01:22:11I'll get started.
01:22:13This gift is for Belle.
01:22:16And it's a special token for the first time we've ever met.
01:22:22Is it another tiara?
01:22:33For all the riches in my kingdom, you're the greatest gift I've ever received.
01:22:44I have the royal nappies, your highness.
01:22:48I have the royal nappies, your highness.
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