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TVTranscript
00:00:08Hello, good evening, and welcome to How to Stay Married with me, James Vereker, and over here,
00:00:15the woman lucky enough to call herself my better half, my wife, Lizzie.
00:00:21Thank you, darling. Hello.
00:00:23Now, a wise man once said, marriage isn't a battlefield, it's a partnership,
00:00:28and married people should be comrades, not rivals.
00:00:32Though that's sometimes easier said than done.
00:00:36How do you stay connected after 20 years of children, careers, everything?
00:00:42How do you keep each other interested over dinner or in the bedroom when the honeymoon period comes to an
00:00:48end?
00:00:49We'll be chatting to a range of celebrity and ordinary couples to ask, how do they make it work for
00:00:55them?
00:00:55And we'll find out if the grass really is greener on the other side of the fence.
00:01:14We'll be quizzing the experts on how to keep a marriage fresh without seeking excitement elsewhere.
00:01:20We'll discuss how to deal with the pain if one of you breaks the rules.
00:01:25And how to keep your feet on the ground when you're thinking about walking away.
00:01:52Gosh, that's a lot to get through, isn't it?
00:01:54Well, we did say, till death do us part.
00:01:57So, stay tuned.
00:01:59And stay married.
00:02:01Mm.
00:02:01We'll see.
00:02:18Oh, fine.
00:02:21Oh.
00:02:26Oh.
00:02:28Oh.
00:02:28Oh, oh, oh.
00:02:35Oh, oh, oh.
00:03:08Oh, oh, oh.
00:03:11Oh, oh.
00:03:14Oh, oh.
00:03:16Oh, oh.
00:03:32Oh, oh.
00:03:41Oh, oh, oh.
00:03:45Oh, oh.
00:04:05Oh, oh, oh.
00:04:05Oh, oh.
00:04:06Oh, oh.
00:04:06Oh, oh.
00:04:09Oh, oh.
00:04:09Oh, oh.
00:04:26Oh, oh.
00:04:28Oh, oh, oh.
00:04:55Oh, oh.
00:04:57Oh, oh.
00:05:00Oh, oh.
00:05:01Oh, oh.
00:05:24Oh, Seb's here.
00:05:27Yeah, he's taking me to the cinema.
00:05:31You're going out with him.
00:05:33Oh, oh.
00:05:35I like him.
00:05:37He's decent.
00:05:39Well, is that the best you can hope for, decent?
00:05:44Well, maybe I'm fed up with sitting around waiting for my life to happen.
00:05:48Making sandwiches for everybody else.
00:05:54Hey.
00:05:55Hey.
00:05:55You okay?
00:05:56Yeah.
00:05:56You ready?
00:05:57Yeah.
00:05:58Tag in.
00:06:01Yeah, see you tomorrow.
00:06:22Okay, next item.
00:06:24As you know, we're finally putting something punchy in Declan's old slot.
00:06:27Sarah's show.
00:06:28Still working on the format.
00:06:30Newest idea is we bring in a co-host to mix things up a bit.
00:06:33Finally, thank you.
00:06:34A co-host?
00:06:35More like a magazine, but spicier.
00:06:37Network loves the idea.
00:06:39It's not your fault, Sarah.
00:06:40Primetime slot is a big thing for you to carry by yourself.
00:06:43Who is it?
00:06:43We're working on the details.
00:06:44Obviously it won't be James.
00:06:45What?
00:06:46Your cots will round up.
00:06:47Can't dilute the brand, can we?
00:06:49Okay, next.
00:06:50Great Gardens.
00:06:51We need a new location now that we're pulling green lawns.
00:06:53Do we need to pull it?
00:06:55Freddie Jones is actively campaigning to bring down Carinium.
00:06:58Why would we put his house on our gardening show?
00:07:01Well, it might be a show of strength if we go ahead anyway.
00:07:03And means that we gain access to the property.
00:07:05See if we can't pump Mrs. Jones for info.
00:07:07Yes.
00:07:09Good.
00:07:09Let's go ahead.
00:07:11Now then.
00:07:15Am I a man of my word, Cameron?
00:07:21You are a man of many words.
00:07:23Am I a man of my word?
00:07:28Yes.
00:07:29Of course.
00:07:29I think we'd all agree, Tony.
00:07:33Would you?
00:07:35That's curious, because I quite clearly remember telling you not to speak to any of those venturer
00:07:41traitors.
00:07:42Do you remember what I said, Ginger, would be the consequence?
00:07:48Instant dismissal, Tony.
00:07:52In which case, Mr. Burrows, am I to take it you no longer acquire Carinium services as an employer?
00:08:02No.
00:08:05Um...
00:08:06Sorry.
00:08:07You were observed attending a screening of Absolute Beginners at the Colchester Regal.
00:08:13With Taggy O'Hara.
00:08:18He was spying on me.
00:08:20It's franchise season, Sebastian. I'm spying on everyone. It's self-preservation.
00:08:23And it turns out entirely necessary, given that you're a double-crossing little shitbag.
00:08:28So now, I'm gonna make an extremely fucking public example of you.
00:08:32I'm not only gonna make sure you never work in commercial television again,
00:08:36I'm gonna make sure there's no job for you on any channel, anywhere.
00:08:40I'm gonna make sure you can't get a job selling televisions at Rumbelows.
00:08:49Escort Mr. Burrows to his car, would you, Ginger?
00:08:51Don't let him clear his desk.
00:08:52But I have...
00:08:53I'm very fucking glad you're leaving here with all ten fingernails.
00:08:57All right, then. Off you all, fuck.
00:08:59And thank you for your loyalty. It has been noted.
00:09:02Quick chat, Cameron.
00:09:15I brought this little guy as requested.
00:09:21You can have it back as soon as Lady Gosling's had a good look.
00:09:24Where were you Friday night?
00:09:25Home.
00:09:26I rang, you didn't answer.
00:09:27I unplugged my phone.
00:09:29Wanted to make sure I got a good night's rest prepping for Grey Gardens.
00:09:32You're not wearing your ring.
00:09:35Close to my heart.
00:09:38I didn't want people asking questions or...
00:09:40Patrick O'Hara was at your house.
00:09:43And I told him where to get off.
00:09:46I know.
00:09:49You know you don't have to spy on me, Tony.
00:09:55Ready to go for a spin.
00:10:02You've done a spectacular little job.
00:10:04The cameras are going to love it.
00:10:05We only feature the very best gardens on the programme.
00:10:08Oh, wow.
00:10:09Monica's at the Falconer, of course.
00:10:10The Duchess of the Badminton.
00:10:13She doesn't mind.
00:10:14With all of the unpleasantness.
00:10:16I haven't spoken to her in weeks.
00:10:19Monica feels, and I agree, you're so special.
00:10:23And showcasing this lovely garb, that's far more important than petty personal feuds.
00:10:28Oh, I just wish we could all go back to how it was before when we were all friends.
00:10:34Do you, um, do you have to host meetings here?
00:10:37Oh, yes.
00:10:39They hole up in Fred Fred's office and I just leave them to it.
00:10:42You know, the hardest thing is remembering who's siding with who.
00:10:45I'm so glad you said that.
00:10:46I can't remember from one day to the next.
00:10:48I'm sure we've got a couple of moles.
00:10:49Yes.
00:10:51Yes.
00:10:51Freddie is worried about moles.
00:10:53Really?
00:10:54Mm.
00:10:55He's been putting castor oil everywhere.
00:10:57I'm terrified.
00:10:58I'm going to wake up in the morning and find molehills all over the lawn.
00:11:06Uh...
00:11:09Think about it.
00:11:19Oh, you have to come down more often.
00:11:24Drive safe.
00:11:32What was Malhar doing here?
00:11:33He came to see me, darling.
00:11:34I do have friends.
00:11:36So what?
00:11:37He came for a cup of tea?
00:11:38Oh, Jesus Christ.
00:11:39We had a drink.
00:11:43Is there something you want to ask me?
00:11:46Hm?
00:11:46Do you know where your daddy is?
00:11:48I mean, because I don't see you hounding him.
00:11:50But daddy would never.
00:11:51Oh.
00:11:52I am sick of your disapproval.
00:11:54You have no idea what I've done for this family over the years.
00:11:57Well, I don't know why you bother if you resent it so much.
00:11:59Well, you don't even like me.
00:12:00I love you.
00:12:01You're my daughter.
00:12:02When you look at me, all you see are the things you've done wrong.
00:12:05That's bloody unfair.
00:12:06I nearly died giving birth to you.
00:12:08Twenty years ago.
00:12:14Malhar offered me a part.
00:12:16A part?
00:12:17Yes.
00:12:18A part.
00:12:18In a play.
00:12:19Like I used to do parts and plays.
00:12:20But I don't anymore because I'm stuck down here.
00:12:23It's a play in London.
00:12:24Well, what did you say?
00:12:27No.
00:12:29Of course I did.
00:12:33Sorry.
00:12:35I guess, yeah.
00:12:36I guess it's nice to be honest.
00:12:40No, it's not, Taggy.
00:12:42You get so used to putting other people's needs first that it becomes second nature.
00:12:47And then one day you look at yourself and you think,
00:12:51Why in fuck's name did I do that?
00:12:54But by then, it's too late to change.
00:13:20Darling!
00:13:22I'm so glad to see you.
00:13:24Just supporting my husband, not that he needs it.
00:13:30What brings you to Valerie's opening?
00:13:32Sticker bombing.
00:13:34I managed to get one on Valerie's bottom.
00:13:38Closest to our opening I ever want to get.
00:13:40They probably shouldn't be talking since we're with rival consortiums.
00:13:46Consortia?
00:13:46I don't know.
00:13:47Consortia?
00:13:48Consortiums.
00:13:50Anyway, it doesn't matter.
00:13:52We're all adults.
00:13:53I'm not giving you up for the sake of any stupid franchise.
00:13:56You're the closest thing I have to a conscience.
00:13:58Mwah.
00:14:00How many gentle flowers grow in an English country garden?
00:14:06I'll tell you now of some I know, and those I miss, I hope you'll pardon.
00:14:15Dappletills had seasoned flocks, middle sweet and lily stocks.
00:14:18Gentle luminant tall hollyhocks.
00:14:21Roses, pots, blocks and drops.
00:14:24Forget-me-nots in an English country garden.
00:14:28Harder?
00:14:33This is horrendous, isn't it?
00:14:35Absolute hell.
00:14:37Lemonade, Mrs. Veracock.
00:14:38Thank you, Sharon.
00:14:40Lovely hat.
00:14:42Fine.
00:14:54James is having an affair with Sarah Stratton.
00:14:59You're not dying.
00:15:01I shouldn't have told you that.
00:15:02You'll leak it to the Scorpion to discredit Carinion.
00:15:07Why don't you leave him?
00:15:08He's a wanker.
00:15:14I...
00:15:17I booked a hotel room to have an affair with Freddie.
00:15:22Then I bottled out.
00:15:25Hated myself.
00:15:26Everyone does it.
00:15:30Really everyone.
00:15:32All these people.
00:15:35Her.
00:15:35Over there.
00:15:36In the hat.
00:15:38Oh, is she fucking that man next to her, is it?
00:15:40Why she's not looking at him?
00:15:42Him and her.
00:15:44Hmm.
00:15:44Handjobs in the potting shed.
00:15:46I mean, am I really the only person holding out?
00:15:54Does that make me a bit simple?
00:15:59Should I be able to hold more than one man in my head at once?
00:16:07Oh.
00:16:10I can't even make it a show about fidelity, for God's sake.
00:16:15Yes, you're an embarrassment.
00:16:16It's cronium television.
00:16:18Bye mate.
00:16:19Oh, God.
00:16:20Bit of a circus, isn't it?
00:16:23Ah.
00:16:24Send in the clowns.
00:16:26Speaking of which.
00:16:27They're about to film your spouses.
00:16:30I think I'll, um...
00:16:33Go and watch.
00:16:41You didn't come.
00:16:45I tried.
00:16:46I couldn't get out of the car.
00:16:49I'm sorry.
00:16:51Yeah.
00:16:53No, it's probably for the best.
00:16:58You were probably right when you said no the first time.
00:17:09The second's away, James.
00:17:10Quiet, please!
00:17:13And action, James.
00:17:14One only has to look at your borders, Mrs Jones, to appreciate what an extraordinary gardener you are.
00:17:19Tell me, what's your secret? How do you grow such whopping glads?
00:17:22Well, James, I feed them with grow more, and obviously I stake them very tall, so they're not flopping over
00:17:29everywhere.
00:17:30Can we have some quiet, please?
00:17:32Quiet!
00:17:34Right, Deidre, are we ready?
00:17:36Excellent.
00:17:37Oh, for God's sake.
00:17:40Cut!
00:17:41I'm so sorry, you all right?
00:17:42It's like working in a zoo.
00:17:43Why is there a dog on the lead?
00:17:44Can we find out why there's a dog off the lead?
00:17:46Okay, uh, shall we try this again?
00:17:48Are we ready? Are we ready?
00:17:49I'm ready.
00:17:50Action.
00:17:51One only has to take a look at your borders, Mrs Jones, to realize...
00:18:01I'm here to pick you up.
00:18:04I have my car.
00:18:05Well, Ginger will drive it, won't you?
00:18:07Okay, I don't understand.
00:18:10They're taking you out.
00:18:53It's the Ventura franchise application.
00:18:58Okay, but how did you get it?
00:19:00Ginger did a little light espionage at Greenlawns.
00:19:05Oh, can I read it? What's in it?
00:19:07Enough else to get our teeth into.
00:19:09We'll pick over it tomorrow.
00:19:17Tonight is about you and me.
00:19:26Listen, I know I don't say it enough, but...
00:19:29Tony.
00:19:30People can see us.
00:19:40Dance with me.
00:19:42Nobody's dancing.
00:19:43I don't care.
00:19:44Come dance.
00:20:08I remember what I said about the ring.
00:20:11Once we win this, we'll do this whenever we want.
00:20:20We are strong.
00:20:23No one can tell us who we are.
00:20:28We are strong.
00:20:29No one can tell us who we are.
00:20:30Searching our hearts for so long.
00:20:35Both of us knowing.
00:20:40Love is a battlefield.
00:20:43Love is a battlefield.
00:21:07Tiger, have you seen this?
00:21:08What?
00:21:10Shall we?
00:21:13Rupert in Clinch with Cook.
00:21:16Oh, my God, you're in the Scorpion.
00:21:18You're the Cook!
00:21:19It's Cameron Cook. They must mean Cameron.
00:21:21Cameron?
00:21:21No, it's definitely you.
00:21:24Seb's going to be devastated. Losing his job, now this.
00:21:27What about Cameron?
00:21:28It's Rupert and Cameron, didn't you know?
00:21:31Wow, she really picks them, doesn't she?
00:21:33Oh, God, please, it will ruin everything for Daddy if it comes out.
00:21:35I shouldn't have told you. Please, Patrick, leave it alone.
00:21:44Tomorrow, at the public meeting,
00:21:46we all need to be able to answer whatever questions come up.
00:21:49Seb's been doing some briefing notes for everyone.
00:21:52Now that he has more time in his hands,
00:21:54but we need to know this back in front like Cameron does.
00:21:57Where is Cameron?
00:21:59With the Dark Lord, I suppose. I rang him this morning, we should announce him.
00:22:02Gerald, you got a spare copy? I couldn't find mine this morning.
00:22:04Ah, yes. Rupert does that a lot.
00:22:07Why does this have to be at Carinium?
00:22:08Should the public meeting be on neutral grounds?
00:22:11It's deliberately stacked in favour of the incumbent.
00:22:14It's simpler for everyone if they get to keep the franchise,
00:22:16so the IBA make it easy to defend and difficult to challenge.
00:22:21Look, we have to prove we've got the money and experience to take over the building,
00:22:24because plenty of franchise applications fall at this hurdle.
00:22:27So, you know.
00:22:27You've got your best side.
00:22:30It's not anything.
00:22:32Oh, what the...
00:22:38You think this is funny?
00:22:41Oh, come on. It's just tabloid nonsense.
00:22:43Still onto chip paper.
00:22:44You promised me you wouldn't touch her.
00:22:46I didn't touch her.
00:22:47What the fuck is that?
00:22:48The seatbelt wasn't working.
00:22:50You made him promise not to touch me.
00:22:52What?
00:22:53I'm 20 years old.
00:22:54Oh, so something did happen then, didn't it?
00:22:58She's seeing Sebas, isn't she?
00:23:02Sebas.
00:23:03Nothing.
00:23:04No, it's okay.
00:23:06She's her own person.
00:23:07Yeah, you see, she's her own person.
00:23:10Get out of my house.
00:23:12Daddy, for God's sake, stop.
00:23:14Jack, here we go.
00:23:15Seriously, this is too funny.
00:23:15You couldn't be serious if your life depended on it.
00:23:18What the fuck do you have riding on this?
00:23:19I put my house up.
00:23:21I bought the Bluebell wood so you could clear your debts.
00:23:24You've had all my money, what more do you want?
00:23:25Look, Steve...
00:23:27Should we get back to work and stop talking about who gets to touch up, Taggy?
00:23:31Oh!
00:23:33Hey, come on, boys.
00:23:34Stop.
00:23:35Come here.
00:23:35Come here.
00:23:36Brick.
00:23:36Come here.
00:23:38Calm down now.
00:23:39Come on, child.
00:23:40It's not...
00:23:41It's...
00:23:42Oh, gosh.
00:23:42The fuck is your offense, man?
00:23:44Jesus Christ.
00:23:46Fuck.
00:23:48What happened?
00:23:50You shouldn't be here.
00:23:51It's not safe.
00:23:52I was gonna call, but I got scared in case Tony bugged the phone.
00:23:55That's paranoid, darling.
00:23:57No, not anymore, it's not.
00:23:59Tony has seen the application.
00:24:01He knows all of our plans.
00:24:03What?
00:24:04How?
00:24:09Freddie.
00:24:11You got your copy?
00:24:30We should probably get someone to fix that.
00:24:34I'm for bed, darling.
00:24:37Oh.
00:24:37That green lawns?
00:24:39Mm, it's in the Great Garden State.
00:24:41Come and watch with me.
00:24:42And here I am, surrounded by a...
00:24:43Laugh at Valerie's gruesome borders.
00:24:45Yellows, greens, blues...
00:24:46Yeah, it's all right.
00:24:47...oranges, indigos, all the colours of the rainbow.
00:24:50And who's this little collection of colourful characters we have here?
00:24:53See?
00:24:53She's got loans.
00:24:55I think he's a little camera shy, don't you?
00:24:57And what's the inspiration behind this piece of landscaping here?
00:25:00Oh, well, James...
00:25:02What does she feed those enormous clavioli?
00:25:04Same thing she feeds her children.
00:25:07To me.
00:25:09And reflected it does.
00:25:10Almost blinding.
00:25:11Oh, look.
00:25:12Poor James is the same colour as the marigolds.
00:25:16She looks like she's dressed for Ascot.
00:25:18What an extraordinary...
00:25:19Lady Valerie of Bulgaria.
00:25:21What's your secret?
00:25:22How do you grow such whopping glass?
00:25:23Oh, well, James, I feed them with grow more.
00:25:26And obviously I'll stake them very high so they're...
00:25:30Whoops-a-daisy!
00:25:36It's Robert.
00:25:38Viva!
00:25:39Jakey, we find out where there's a dog off the lead.
00:25:41I, er...
00:25:42It's first on my table now.
00:25:43She's in front.
00:25:49What's that?
00:25:50Are you ready?
00:25:50Hang on for one moment.
00:25:55Shall we try that again?
00:25:57I think I'm ready.
00:25:58Bear away.
00:26:11Viva seems besotted with Miss Cook, doesn't he?
00:26:16It's rather like he knows her.
00:26:19It's the only time after she is synergies, but...
00:26:28You have to see.
00:26:28Oh, I know.
00:26:35It doesn't matter.
00:26:35Hopefully I've got to look upon you.
00:26:38But I do not do it.
00:26:44I'm not.
00:26:44What?
00:26:44It's a good idea, when I do that.
00:27:04The day of reckoning arrives.
00:27:06Could we say the application was just sitting on Freddie Jones' desk?
00:27:10Makes them sound appallingly careless.
00:27:13I'm not sure we want to admit to trespassing and theft, do we?
00:27:16That's a fair point.
00:27:18The best way to take advantage of this little windfall is to pull apart every idea they've got.
00:27:22Poor scorn on every word they say this afternoon.
00:27:27We've got it all worked out, right, Tony?
00:27:31Absolutely.
00:27:33No question. It's ours.
00:27:38Never pays to think something's definitively yours, in my experience.
00:27:44Let's not rest on our laurels just yet.
00:27:51Emotions are riding high in Rocha in the battle for control of the central southwest television region.
00:27:56The franchise holder, Carinium, will go head-to-head at a public meeting with new consortium Venturer,
00:28:02led by TV presenter Declan O'Hara, MP and former Olympian showjumper Rupert Campbell Black,
00:28:08and tech wizard Freddie Jones.
00:28:11They've got the charm, but can they convince the IBA that they've got the chops to catch the crown?
00:28:21When two tribes go to war, point is all that you can't score.
00:28:28When two tribes go to war, point is all that you can't score.
00:28:33The grabbar!
00:28:41I've given you back good time.
00:28:44I've shaken it out, I'll circle you first let Black先
00:28:51Apprentice on you to score,
00:28:56When two tides go to war
00:29:33Why the candles are we on television always for the evening news don't stare at them and it'll look like
00:29:38a game show
00:29:38Hello there's Charles
00:29:40Hello Charles
00:29:41I'm trying to remember who's on his side
00:29:47If you need help just ask
00:29:49I'm better on the side
00:29:50You can get on that room
00:29:51Yeah
00:29:51Oh yes
00:29:52Good idea
00:30:00We know coming to Carinium I don't understand
00:30:03Listen it's daddy's big day and we're here to support him
00:30:11Just go and find a seat
00:30:13No no no you're up here with us
00:30:15Ragsags sort of bunch aren't they
00:30:17Spent half the time fighting each other apparently
00:30:20Embarrassing
00:30:21Yes
00:30:23Well we can talk with it
00:30:30Goodness
00:30:31All human life is here
00:30:34Mostly pond life over that time
00:30:36What the hell is B.T. Johnson doing here?
00:30:42Hello darling
00:30:49Is everything okay?
00:30:54Love you
00:30:59Ladies and gentlemen the meeting is about to begin
00:31:01This consultation aims simply to determine if the new company Venturer has the capacity to be a contender for the
00:31:09southwest central franchise
00:31:11We will inform Venturer by telephone later in the evening if they may submit a formal franchise application
00:31:17And however in the meantime this is an opportunity for you the public to give both sides a good grilling
00:31:25So are there any questions from the floor?
00:31:29Yes lady at the back over there with the very tight perm
00:31:35Can I please ask both teams when you're going to start showing bingo on the telly?
00:31:39Well we're absolutely committed to bringing as many different sports to the viewing public so if there's an appetite for
00:31:46bingo absolutely
00:31:47Ah yes I was rather wondering if James might sign my blouse
00:31:53Yes my company's been developing satellite television for a while now
00:31:56Dishy Daniel won't be leaving four men went to mow this next series
00:32:01But Venturer we've got plans to show polo
00:32:04I'm sorry that the chipping sodbury W.I. feel we've disproportionately covered news from Cotchester
00:32:08So Venturer are going to harvest this technology for domestic use
00:32:12That's something that we've got and corinium happens
00:32:14Oh and yes I would be delighted to sign your blouse
00:32:20We'll ensure he removes his shirt at least once an episode
00:32:27Yeah we'll keep it on the network if it's popular
00:32:30Well um I'll respond to that if I may
00:32:33The underdog team over there might expect to retain all of your favourite programmes
00:32:38But I'm afraid they belong to corinium
00:32:43Cots will round up ladies and gentlemen
00:32:45Imagine a world without that sofa James
00:32:49No master dog
00:32:50No Dorothy dove
00:32:53And ladies and gentlemen what that means
00:32:57Is no more four men went to mow
00:33:00Sorry lads
00:33:01What a dreary prospect
00:33:04And what about the future
00:33:07Our newest output brings us to a whole new frontier of entertainment
00:33:12Most imminently we're replacing our tired old talk show Declan
00:33:16With a brand new format
00:33:18And a new presenter
00:33:20Joining Sarah Stratton in her first ever television job
00:33:25Celebrity gossip columnist
00:33:27Beatty Johnson
00:33:34Heading up uncensored
00:33:37The naughtiest
00:33:39Most gossipy show on the independent network
00:33:42Because that's what we do at corinium
00:33:45We serve you the television you want
00:33:50Your station
00:33:52Now and always
00:33:57Because who wants to feel like their television station
00:34:00Is some rich man's second hobby
00:34:04Honestly what does Rupert Campbell Black know about broadcasting
00:34:14I know people
00:34:17I know this area
00:34:19From representing you all in parliament
00:34:21I've knocked on a damn sight more doors than Tony Battingham has
00:34:24And look at the audience
00:34:26That have come today to support Ventura
00:34:28We've got a Cotchester Council gardening team
00:34:31The Chipping Sodbury WI
00:34:33Bisley Ballroom Dancers
00:34:35The Headmaster from Rugbra
00:34:37And the lads
00:34:38From Cotchester Rugby Football Club
00:34:41Ventura! Ventura! Ventura!
00:34:44They know a good team when they see one
00:34:46This lot? A team?
00:34:48A team?
00:34:49Ask Rupert where he got that bruise
00:34:51They're a bunch of amateurs
00:34:53Brawling
00:34:55And bruising
00:34:56And bedding other people's wives
00:34:58The drama should be on the screen
00:35:02Not off it
00:35:13No you're right
00:35:17They do deserve better
00:35:25You deserve better
00:35:29You all deserve better than the shyse Tony Battingham's been pumping into your living rooms for all these years
00:35:38You deserve better than endless quiz shows
00:35:41That cost nothing to make
00:35:43And nourish nobody's soul
00:35:45Yes they have a good drama
00:35:48But one
00:35:48One good drama
00:35:50We will make dozens
00:35:52There will be venture shows all over the network
00:35:55So you can be proud of the work that comes out of the central southwest
00:36:01We're not in this to make money
00:36:03We are in this to make joy
00:36:08Because what is television for?
00:36:11I don't think Tony Battingham's asked himself that in a very long time
00:36:16Christ it shows
00:36:18You know what I think it's for?
00:36:20You know what I think it's for?
00:36:22Community
00:36:24People used to sit around the fire for their stories
00:36:29Now we sit around the television
00:36:31We point our chairs at the corner of the room
00:36:34And that is where we commune
00:36:38Television has the power to bring us together
00:36:41To help us forgive each other
00:36:47And we've had a stupid fight
00:36:53To give us a window
00:36:56Into others' lives
00:36:59To bring new ideas
00:37:01Into our homes
00:37:04It is
00:37:05I believe
00:37:08The greatest art form man has created
00:37:10I got into this business
00:37:12Many years ago
00:37:14In the pursuit
00:37:15Of truth
00:37:17And integrity
00:37:20And I still believe in both
00:37:23And you deserve better
00:37:27And we will move mountains
00:37:29To give you better
00:37:30If you put your faith in us
00:37:32And give us a chance
00:38:01And give us a chance
00:38:08I have to spend months fighting this
00:38:10When does it ever stop?
00:38:11We don't know the verdict yet
00:38:13Oh Christ
00:38:13You see Gosling's wizened face
00:38:15Light up at Declan's blarney lyricism
00:38:17Then we have the swear campaign
00:38:18More scandal
00:38:20More dirt
00:38:20Ginger
00:38:21You wouldn't know dirt
00:38:22If it shut itself into your face
00:38:23Do you have any idea
00:38:24Of the size of dirt
00:38:25You've managed to miss this week?
00:38:26Hmm?
00:38:26You are supposed to be my fucking eyes and ears
00:38:30Get better reports from Helen fucking Keller
00:38:37Well done darling
00:38:38Thank you sweetheart
00:38:46I did what I said
00:38:48I just hope that it works
00:38:49Thank you
00:38:50It's just brilliant
00:38:51Everybody talks
00:38:52Thank you
00:38:53What is he going on with his people?
00:38:56Hello I can say
00:38:57Bet you didn't expect this lot
00:38:59Sorry we're a bit rowdy with you
00:39:02This is from all of us
00:39:03Yeah Rupert
00:39:04I reckon she's the keeper
00:39:06Don't you?
00:39:08Oh mate
00:39:09She's our top striker
00:39:15We did good right?
00:39:16We did okay
00:39:17Hey
00:39:17Hey
00:39:20It's all back to yours
00:39:20Apparently
00:39:21Ah apparently
00:39:41And why didn't you tell me
00:39:42He was bringing in BT
00:39:43I didn't know
00:39:44I don't know what the hell he's doing
00:39:46Something's going on with him
00:39:47He knows something
00:39:48Or
00:39:49It's okay
00:39:50We're gonna win this
00:39:55And what if we don't?
00:39:56I'll look after you
00:39:57Whatever happens
00:39:58Okay?
00:39:59Promise
00:40:00Can you come to the Priory?
00:40:04I'm supposed to be here
00:40:05But I'll slip away if I can
00:40:17Come on Sarah
00:40:19Lizzie
00:40:20Lizzie
00:40:20Listen um
00:40:21Sarah's not coming out
00:40:22Do you just go in and see she's alright?
00:40:25Oh
00:40:25I think you could go in if it's your wife
00:40:29Paul
00:40:29I can't see coming out of the ladies
00:40:31I'm a member of parliament
00:40:32Look let's go grab a drink
00:40:33The women folk can join us later
00:40:35Thank you
00:40:54Sarah
00:40:55Sarah are you all there?
00:40:59I must have eaten something
00:41:06Neves
00:41:09That woman
00:41:11Why has he put me with her?
00:41:14My big chance and then it's her
00:41:18Bloody Tony
00:41:20Do you know I spent my life running around after these men who just can't be trusted
00:41:24And they have all the power?
00:41:27They have all the power
00:41:28They just squeeze us out like toothpaste
00:41:30Not even toothpaste
00:41:31They don't need us at all
00:41:33Oh I think they do
00:41:37But fuck them
00:41:38Right?
00:41:39Right?
00:41:42We should stop putting them first
00:41:45Do what we want
00:41:48Not just the right thing
00:41:49All the time
00:41:54I'm not sure I've ever done the right thing
00:42:01I've got to go
00:42:01Your husband's looking for you
00:42:12Thought I told you to fuck off
00:42:16No darling
00:42:17It's me
00:42:26I'm here to say come home
00:42:31Archie's waiting in the car
00:42:32Why do I have to bring the boy to see his father being humiliated
00:42:35We both know it's not that you're angry about
00:42:40But perhaps this is a test
00:42:45It's time for you to decide
00:42:48I've been loyal
00:42:50All of these years
00:42:51But even my stoicism has a limit
00:42:54So do be careful
00:42:57Come home tonight and let's talk about it
00:43:02Because if you don't
00:43:05I'll take the children to my sisters in the morning
00:43:19Would be rather a thing to win it though
00:43:21Wouldn't it?
00:43:23I love you guys
00:43:39Legs on that end
00:43:40I think I might be in there
00:43:42You fucking idiot
00:43:45What if Declan finds out
00:43:46Not to mention he's a friend
00:43:48Well it's wrong
00:43:49You've never objected to a bit of wife sitting before
00:43:56Goodness when did you get so morally fibrous?
00:44:00Damien lives on the piano
00:44:01She's fucking amazing
00:44:07So what happens now?
00:44:08We're just waiting on Lady Gosling to call to say
00:44:10If we're through to the next round
00:44:13You sure you can't stay?
00:44:15Yeah
00:44:15I've had a lovely time
00:44:16But they're tired
00:44:18So I'll take them home
00:44:21Fingers crossed
00:44:23Thank you darling
00:44:24Thanks for coming
00:44:25I'm really proud of you Fred Fred
00:44:35Love you
00:44:38Stop slouching Sharon
00:44:39You look like a potato
00:44:45Turn around
00:44:47Right eye
00:44:49Every now and then I fall apart
00:44:51Turn around
00:44:52Right eye
00:44:54Every now and then I fall apart
00:44:57Have another drink
00:44:59Sit down
00:45:00Relax
00:45:01And I need you more than ever
00:45:04And if you won't be home in time
00:45:08We'll be home in the home forever
00:45:12And if you won't be home in time
00:45:14And if you won't be home in time
00:45:14I'm gonna be home in the home in my life
00:45:16And we'll never be wrong
00:45:18Together
00:45:19We can make it to the end of the time
00:45:22Your love's out of your shadow
00:45:24Won't be home in the time
00:45:27Don't know what to do
00:45:29And I'm always in the dark
00:45:31Living in a powder keg
00:45:33And giving off
00:45:34I really need you tonight
00:45:37Forever's gonna start tonight
00:45:40Forever's gonna start tonight
00:45:44After all the time I was falling in love
00:45:47Hello
00:45:48Now I'm only falling apart
00:45:52There's nothing I can do
00:45:54A total eclipse of the heart
00:46:01A total eclipse of the heart
00:46:09A total eclipse of the heart
00:46:12A total eclipse of the heart
00:46:15Do you think you'll get it?
00:46:17Lots of hurdles to jump, yeah.
00:46:19I think we did a really good job tonight.
00:46:22Oh.
00:46:24So, is this a night off, then?
00:46:27No.
00:46:40Have you got any idea how fucking beautiful you are?
00:46:59How are you?
00:47:01Surprisingly well, frankly.
00:47:04Mother knew me this morning.
00:47:07First time in months.
00:47:09Made me feel like life is possible.
00:47:13And I wanted to say to you that even if you can't love me,
00:47:17then I think friends would be rather nice.
00:47:25Charles, I think I found someone to marry.
00:47:29Goodness.
00:47:31Well, she's a nice girl from a good family and she likes me in the right way.
00:47:39Do you like her?
00:47:41I think we get on rather well.
00:47:44I really think I could bear to be married to her.
00:47:46Especially if it meant everyone would stop asking me why I'm not married.
00:47:51It'll give me the respectability I need for my career and...
00:47:56And then...
00:47:57We can meet together.
00:48:00Still in secret.
00:48:03But safe.
00:48:12I don't know if I can live without this.
00:48:14Without you.
00:48:22Is it?
00:48:25No.
00:48:54I've never done this before.
00:49:00I've never met anyone I wanted to do it with before.
00:49:36It's so nice to feel soft for overcoming hardwares.
00:49:55I'm going to declare this an area of outstanding natural beauty.
00:49:58I'm going to declare this.
00:50:28I'm going to declare this.
00:50:40What's going on?
00:50:44I'm going to London.
00:50:47Malhar offered me a part in a doll's house.
00:50:52I thought you didn't get it.
00:50:54It's a different part.
00:50:57It's the maid.
00:50:58You're playing the maid?
00:51:00Yeah.
00:51:02Declan, yeah.
00:51:06Because, as it turns out, I'm not a star anymore.
00:51:12As it turns out, I spent too long following you around.
00:51:18For wherever you wanted to be.
00:51:21There for the children so that you get to do what you want to do.
00:51:26I want to work.
00:51:33I need to work.
00:51:36And you, of all people, should understand that.
00:51:47And if you'd been even remotely available to me recently, you would have been part of that decision, but you
00:51:54weren't.
00:51:56So I made it myself.
00:52:09We need you here, love.
00:52:12You actually don't.
00:52:15Good luck with the franchise bit.
00:52:18Mummy.
00:52:18Tag, stop her.
00:52:19She said she's going to London to do a fucking play.
00:52:21I am going to London to do a fucking play.
00:52:25And I should never have left it this long.
00:52:30Goodbye, my sweetheart.
00:52:36Please don't go.
00:52:38Maud, please.
00:52:50Did she get that?
00:53:04Hello?
00:53:06Yes.
00:53:07Hi.
00:53:07Lady Gosling.
00:53:09No.
00:53:09No.
00:53:10Of course no.
00:53:10I appreciate your calling.
00:53:11This has been a hard new name for me.
00:53:14Congratulations.
00:53:21Yes.
00:53:23Yes.
00:53:23Yes.
00:53:25Oh, Lord.
00:53:29LikeSU.
00:53:32Yes.
00:53:36Yes.
00:53:37Ah, yes.
00:53:39television region is on incumbent company corinium now being challenged by venturer headed
00:53:46by corinium's biggest star declan o'hara along with ex-show jumper and minister for sport
00:53:52rupert campbell black day's meeting was to decide if venturer has the capacity
00:53:57to be a serious contender for the franchise
00:54:13leaving already
00:54:18to report to my office for what never asked me that before
00:54:33across the country
00:54:39in London city pretty remaining unchallenged
00:54:43how long have you been sleeping with rupert campbell black
00:54:53what am i having
00:54:55just a bit
00:54:56just a bit
00:55:35I was spying on him, on Venturer.
00:55:37Oh.
00:55:40So what information did you fuck out of him for me?
00:55:44Turns out I'm not a very good spy.
00:55:46Oh, don't fucking goad me.
00:55:49There is no one in the world you could sleep with.
00:55:52That he is the worst man in the world.
00:55:57You knew that.
00:56:01Oh, you fucking freak of him.
00:56:09I'll give you whatever you want.
00:56:11I'll bring my solicitor tomorrow.
00:56:13I'll start the divorce.
00:56:14I'll do anything.
00:56:15Just swear you will never let that man touch you again.
00:56:20Just let me have this one, please.
00:56:30I will sack you so hard.
00:56:33You can't sack me.
00:56:35I'm resigning.
00:56:36Your visa's tied to your job, darling.
00:56:39I'll make sure you're on a first plane back to America.
00:56:42Yeah.
00:56:43I will marry Rupert.
00:56:47Then I can stay.
00:56:50Venturer might have won this battle.
00:56:52Have they won the war?
00:56:54That's the question on everyone's lips.
00:56:56They have been successful putting together an impressive war, comprising the great and the good of Russia.
00:57:03People used to sit around the fire for their stories.
00:57:08Now we sit around the television.
00:57:11That is where we commune.
00:57:14Television has the power to bring us together.
00:57:16Fuck you!
00:57:22To help us forgive each other.
00:57:24We've had a stupid fight.
00:57:28To give us a window into others' lives.
00:57:32To bring new ideas into our homes.
00:57:36Where's mommy?
00:57:37It is, I believe, the greatest art form a man has created.
00:57:44Hi.
00:57:46Hi.
00:57:48Come on!
00:58:01Seb's a nice boy.
00:58:03You all right?
00:58:05Yeah, he's lovely.
00:58:06He's a good sort.
00:58:07Yeah.
00:58:10Only he's not you.
00:58:16Okay.
00:58:20I don't know why I just said that.
00:58:22I think I'm tired.
00:58:31Here's the franchise.
00:58:33I cannot.
00:58:35I'm trapped.
00:58:36I can't get out of here.
00:58:37I'm not asking you to.
00:58:41She's not you.
00:58:45I can't breathe without you.
00:58:50I'm trapped.
00:58:51I can't breathe.
00:58:53I can't breathe.
00:58:54I can't breathe without you.
00:58:56I can't breathe without you.
00:58:58Okay.
00:59:16See you?
00:59:41First ever television job.
00:59:44Celebrity gossip columnist, Beatty Johnson, turning up uncensored.
00:59:50The naughtiest, the most gossipy show on the independent network.
00:59:56Because that's what we do at Carinion.
01:00:01We serve you the television you want, your station, now and always.
01:00:40The naughtiest, the most gossipy show on the internet.
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