Rivals Season 1 Episode 2 | English Sub
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Short filmTranscript
00:27To be continued...
00:42And on the day fourth-form pupils begin studying for their new GCSE exams,
00:48we put a group of Cotchester shopkeepers through their paces to see how much they can remember
00:53from their O-level maths.
00:56Meanwhile, here at Carinium, we are buzzing with excitement for our new live show, Declan.
01:04Declan's first guest will be Hollywood hellraiser Johnny Friedlander,
01:09one of the cinema's brightest stars.
01:11In his first interview since being the unfortunate victim of a sex tape scandal two years ago,
01:17the reclusive star is on his way to Carinium Studios as we speak.
01:23Can Declan O'Hara coax him out of his shell?
01:27And what about those James Bond rumours?
01:31That's Declan, live tonight at eight o'clock, with his very first interview here at Carinium,
01:38right after Coronation Street.
01:40I'll definitely be tuning in.
01:55Run!
01:57Run!
01:57Run!
01:59Run!
02:00Let's go.
02:36Let's go.
03:10Let's go.
03:30Let's go.
03:36Let's go.
03:37Let's go.
03:37Let's go.
03:38Let's go.
03:39Let's go.
04:06Let's go.
04:07Let's go.
04:25Let's go.
04:55Let's go.
05:24Let's go.
05:51Let's go.
05:53Let's go.
05:58Let's go.
06:02Let's go.
06:03Let's go.
06:12Let's go.
06:14Let's go.
06:43Let's go.
06:44Let's go.
06:45Let's go.
06:45Let's go.
07:01Let's go.
07:33Let's go.
07:33Let's go.
07:33Let's go.
08:01Let's go.
08:15Let's go.
08:20Let's go.
08:43Let's go.
08:46Let's go.
08:53Let's go.
08:56Let's go.
08:57Let's go.
09:31Let's go.
09:32Let's go.
10:00Let's go.
10:00Let's go.
10:01Let's go.
10:01Let's go.
10:01Let's go.
10:01Let's go.
10:02Not sure about the Sods.
10:04Yup.
10:09Jesus Christ.
10:10He snug up on that.
10:11In that flesh.
10:15What was it like, when you drove off that bridge?
10:21Well.
10:22I woke up the second I hit the water but, man it was uh scary.
10:26Thank God I was in a convertible.
10:28or I'd be at the bottom of the river now.
10:31But, yeah, I had to get sober.
10:34415 days later, the world looks more beautiful than ever.
10:50Now, shall we talk about the sex tape?
10:54Why not?
10:55The elephant's in the room already.
10:57Crapping in the corner.
10:59Is the girl okay?
11:01Miss, uh, Miss Cortez?
11:04Hell, I don't know.
11:05You don't see her?
11:06None of my Christmas card lists don't.
11:08But she is, uh, she's an actress, right?
11:11I don't know, uh, we met in a bar.
11:14Hope she got a lot of money out of the whole thing.
11:17Is $5,000 a lot of money?
11:20According to Miss Cortez, that's how much you paid her to have sex with you
11:23and then take the tape to the National Enquirer.
11:25What?
11:27Oh, fuck.
11:29You said you were the victim.
11:31But in fact, you paid her to video herself having sex with you
11:36as if it had been filmed undercover
11:37so that when she took the tape to the press,
11:39you could pretend that you'd been set up?
11:42Simultaneously getting sympathy as the victim of a honey trap
11:44while reaping a ton of publicity that made you look like a virile sex god.
11:48Yeah, she got publicity too, trust me.
11:50You sat back and let the press vilify her
11:52to the extent that all her acting work dried up.
11:55You could have stepped in and told the truth, but you didn't.
11:58The world would have believed you, but your silence demolished her.
12:03Your stock shot up overnight while Pia Cortez lost her apartment.
12:08$5,000 for a woman's reputation.
12:10Is that a fair price?
12:11What reputation?
12:12She was a porn actress.
12:14I paid her to make a porno.
12:29Fuck, we've lost him.
12:31He's going to walk out.
12:45Oh, man, I'm an ass.
12:48What did you do?
12:51Tell two to hold on Johnny.
12:54Stay on Johnny.
12:55Now, move in.
12:57Slowly, slowly.
12:59Slowly.
13:00It wouldn't get this on the BBC.
13:04Get me the sweat beating on his brow.
13:06This is the one.
13:07I'd had four flops in a row, and I'm scared.
13:13It's the worst thing about Hollywood is when you're out.
13:16All you can think about is how to get back in.
13:20What a mess.
13:24Worst part is...
13:28I really like that girl.
13:31I thought she had something.
13:33What would you say to her?
13:36If she was here?
13:37Yeah, she's an L.A. man.
13:39No.
13:40She might see it.
13:41You never know.
13:46Okay, um, sure.
13:56Tia.
13:59If you're watching, I'm sorry.
14:03I'm an ass.
14:05We buy you a drink.
14:07Or a car.
14:09Whatever you want.
14:11I'm sorry.
14:22Man, I've been sitting on that secret too long.
14:25Feel good to get it off your chest.
14:28God, the water here.
14:30Tastes good.
14:32Can I get another?
14:34Join us again after the break when I'll be asking Johnny about James Bond.
14:38Don't go away.
14:40Are we clear?
14:43Hey, stand by everyone.
14:45Three minutes.
14:46Well, that was more stressful than I expected.
14:48Daddy always goes in for the kill.
14:51He really is a master at this, your Declan.
14:53I mean, is that erotic?
14:55Doing a video?
14:56Well, I think it is if you've made it for each other, or you watch it when they're away.
15:01All worked together. It's a warm-up.
15:04Yeah, it can be pretty hot.
15:05With the right co-star.
15:07I can't imagine James wanting to make a sex video with me.
15:10The camera puts pounds on you and he already thinks I'm fat.
15:14Well, he's bad.
15:15Yeah.
15:15You're exquisite.
15:20Sandwich? Anyone?
15:21Yeah, I'm starving.
15:23Oh, my God, you made this, Dougie.
15:26Ambrosial.
15:27Please, please tell me you'll come and work for me.
15:29Caitlin, go and fetch another one of these for me, please.
15:31No, I tried working in a restaurant. It was just too hectic.
15:35Well, you could do people's dinner parties and things.
15:38A private chef. I bet you'd get bookings.
15:41I could put a word around if you'd like.
15:42Caitlin!
15:43Oh, Daddy's back.
15:52Here it is. Your closet, sir.
16:05Put something against her.
16:06Do you think Johnny Friedlander barricades the door?
16:12The guy, he had the most stupid walk.
16:17I'll tell you what Cubby Broccoli said when my people called up and suggested me.
16:21He said he'd sooner have James Bond played by a woman.
16:28Ladies and gentlemen, Johnny Friedlander!
16:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
16:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
16:46CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
16:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
16:51CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
16:54Johnny, what did you do for a few of our company?
16:55This is Ginger Baines.
16:57Hey, hey.
16:57The bastard spiked Johnny's dressing room.
16:59Gave him a bottle of vodka.
17:01Oh, no, I did that.
17:02What?
17:04Why didn't you tell me?
17:06We needed your first show to be jaw-dropping television.
17:08No way was I leaving that to chance.
17:10And you didn't tell me you were going to skewer the guy live on air.
17:13You don't think he fucks your producer of Martin O'Day?
17:15We didn't need to push him off the wagon.
17:17I didn't need help.
17:18Yeah, you didn't need a desk either, did you?
17:21OK.
17:22Hi, this is Esther McLeod.
17:23Hi. Hi.
17:24This is Lady Gosling.
17:26Hey, how you doing?
17:27Hello.
17:27Freddie Jones.
17:28Hey, how you doing?
17:29His lovely wife.
17:30Hey, how you doing?
17:31James Orecko.
17:32Hi.
17:32How you doing?
17:33This is the backroom boys.
17:35Hey, how you doing?
17:35Daisy.
17:36Hey, how you doing?
17:37This is Deirdre.
17:38Hey, how you doing?
17:46At least he didn't film you.
17:49He's a mug.
17:50He looked like a Charlie's angel.
17:52Oh, great.
17:54Thanks, Seb.
17:55That's nice.
17:57He's very good, isn't he?
17:59Like the new jewel in Carinthians' crown.
18:02Extraordinary song.
18:03Oh, yeah.
18:04He has so much character.
18:05He's a breath of fresh air.
18:07It's such a shame that you couldn't get Campbell Black onto the board.
18:11Wow.
18:12Is Freddie Jones in the bag?
18:13Oh, very much so.
18:14Very much so.
18:15They're much more used to us.
18:17His expertise in technology, business, the real world.
18:21But I've got to say, Declan's got some brass.
18:24I thought Johnny was going to lamp him one.
18:26How do you keep it together?
18:27All that going on?
18:28Can I tell you a secret?
18:30That was my first time taking the show out live.
18:33Did you like it?
18:34Oh, my God.
18:35The adrenaline.
18:36Yes, I loved it.
18:37But please don't ask me any specifics.
18:39It's a blur.
18:39Met Cameron, then.
18:41You need people that can deliver under pressure, don't you?
18:44Diamonds.
18:45Couldn't agree more.
18:46That's why we're courting you for the board.
18:51We'll get in the fuck of a lifetime tonight.
18:55Yeah.
19:09Isn't that crazy?
19:11And then the man started turning up at the house.
19:14No.
19:14And he was so in love with Mommy.
19:16But then Daddy found out about it.
19:18And that wasn't funny at all.
19:21Caitlin.
19:23Anyway, that's the real reason why we moved out of London.
19:26Daddy's new job came just at the right time.
19:44Mrs. Thatcher tells me if I want to succeed in politics,
19:47so I have to keep my nose clean.
19:48No more cunnilingus, then.
19:51Maud's got a thumping crush on you.
19:54Declan looks strong.
19:56I'd watch yourself.
20:00Darling, now I love you to bits.
20:04Never tell me what to do.
20:07Amen.
20:19You're done.
20:24Amen.
20:26Amen.
20:26And that's what you're doing.
20:31Abuse me.
20:31I'm going to beat you.
20:32Let's do it.
20:32All right.
20:32I'm going to beat you.
20:32I want to do it.
20:34I'm going to beat you.
20:35You're going to beat you.
20:48You must be exhausted.
20:51How did I do?
20:53You were wonderful.
21:20I've been thinking about you coming home all evening.
21:37Oh, what is it?
21:39Everything all right?
21:42Shitting awful evening, actually.
21:43Oh, I'm sorry.
21:45You should have come with me to watch a new Declan show.
21:50It was...
21:51...predient.
21:59You might be a little more supportive, Lizzie.
22:15I mean, it's only my first day at boarding school.
22:17It's not like it's momentous or anything, is it?
22:18I'm sorry I can't drive you there.
22:20You know Daddy needs the car this morning.
22:21I didn't mean you.
22:27Bye-bye, gorgeous, ugly dog.
22:34Is Mummy going to start one of her things with Rupert?
22:37I'm not going to keep her secrets again if she does.
22:43Oh, Mummy and Daddy are going to be okay.
22:45Keep an eye on them, I promise.
22:49Oh, I'm going to miss you.
22:51Now go.
22:52I'm going.
22:56Just you and me now, pups.
22:57Rabbit, Jabba, Jabba, Jabba, Jabba, Jabba, Jabba, Jabba, Jabba, Jabba.
23:02Good evening.
23:04I'm Dax O'Nahara.
23:04Call your one, stop talking.
23:07Why don't you give it a risk?
23:10Take it away.
23:12You've got more rabbit than Sainsbury's.
23:14This time you got it off the ship.
23:18Now you was just the kind of girl to break my heart into.
23:22I knew I'd old friend, I could split my eyes on you.
23:26But how was I to know you'd been my ear-offs too?
23:29With your incessant token, you're becoming a pest.
23:34That's all we've got time for tonight.
23:35Oh, Robert, sounds good.
23:37Babby, Babby, Babby, Babby, Babby, Babby, Babby, Babby, Babby, Babby, Babby, Babby.
23:40Now, you're a wonderful jill.
23:44You've got a wonderful smell.
23:47You got a wonderful smell.
23:48You got a wonderful smell.
23:50You got a charm.
23:52You got a charm to me.
23:54And I was hard to know you'd make my ear-offs too.
23:57But you're incessant token.
24:00You've become a pest.
24:02Babby, Babby, Babby, Babby, Babby, Babby.
24:04Babby, Babby.
24:17Oof, look at all this.
24:19I was a neighbourhood dinner party.
24:21Why didn't Valerie Jones invite you to sua me?
24:23I don't know, Mummy.
24:24I said we couldn't do it.
24:27What?!
24:27I have work to do!
24:28I never get to go anywhere.
24:30I mean, how can we meet anyone if you're going to turn down everything just to prepare your stupid program?
24:37My stupid program is all just paying the bills on this rotting pile of bricks, and all you do is
24:41spend money.
24:42I mean, why the fuck do we own a harp?
24:43Well, you want to take my music away from me? It's all that I have left.
24:46I have to go to work.
24:47No, no, I'm still talking to you.
24:48We can talk about it later. Good luck, Tag.
24:51Bye.
24:52You know, it's a good job that you bought a priory, because I might as well be a nun.
24:57You know, he's still punishing me. I mean, when is it going to stop?
25:06My congratulations, both of you. 10 million viewers.
25:10I want 12 mil this week.
25:12I can't believe you got that story out of Mick Jagger.
25:14People like telling me things. Psychiatrist to the stars.
25:17So who's next on the couch?
25:18Diana.
25:19Doesn't do TV.
25:20Arnold Schwarzenegger?
25:21Jesus, he couldn't even speak.
25:23Joanna Lumley.
25:24Rupert Campbell Black.
25:24No way.
25:26Celebrity, ex-Olympian, a heartthrob, so I'm told, and now minister for sports.
25:29Surely that's an extraordinary trajectory.
25:31There's no hinterland.
25:32If I'm to interview someone whose politics I despise, I want a worthy opponent.
25:36Could you stop swinging your dick for a moment?
25:38If you stop swinging your vagina.
25:40Okay, okay, okay, okay.
25:43Declan's right.
25:44Campbell Black's an arrogant brat.
25:45Everything people hate about the upper classes.
25:47Why do you hate him so much?
25:50Pick up the horse.
25:50Get everything he wants.
25:52Joyce, Rupert Campbell Black.
25:55I wasn't surprised when the wife left.
25:58He'll never settle, will he?
26:00Doesn't that make him an interesting interview?
26:02He's the only man in England who can come out of a sex scandal with a promotion.
26:06Minister for sport, for God's sake.
26:08The man plays tennis naked.
26:10He's an irredeemable shit.
26:12We needn't pour fertiliser on his already overgrown ego.
26:16Who do you want, Declan?
26:18Thatcher.
26:19Margaret Thatcher?
26:20No, Charles. Fuckin' Dennis Thatcher.
26:22Look, she'll never say yes anyway.
26:24She thinks I'm an eye-orate pinko.
26:25Well, let's see.
26:26I've donated eye-watering sums to the Tory party.
26:29It's not the public who decides which way the election goes, is it?
26:35All right. Stop staring at me. Fuck off.
26:37We've all got work to do.
26:40Declan?
26:40Yeah?
26:41Don't go. Have a proper drink.
26:42After you.
26:46You've got viewing figures most people would sell their granny for.
26:50So, I'm just wondering why you're still unhappy here.
26:55Are you Cameron?
26:56No. No.
26:58I mean, she's hard work, but you're right.
27:01She knows what she's doing.
27:02I just have a lot in my mind.
27:05Money stuff.
27:07I have an unpaid tax bill following me around.
27:1080 grand.
27:13London wasn't cheap.
27:14Not with a wife who throws her party every time someone blows their nose.
27:20All right. Well, why don't I settle with the end loan revenue for you?
27:25You can pay me back when you can.
27:26Nobody need to know about it.
27:28Just the two of us.
27:29And my accountant.
27:32That's very decent of you.
27:34Self-interest, really.
27:35You're no good to be preoccupied.
27:39Well, no more.
27:43Cheers.
28:01Cheers.
28:02Cheers.
28:16Are you always this height?
28:18I can usually size people by looking.
28:20I don't think you'd want me to serve things.
28:22I can't exactly do it myself, can I?
28:23You know to go round the dinner table clockwise, don't you?
28:26Don't pick, Sharon.
28:27I need you to write the menu out.
28:29One for each end of the table in French, if you don't mind.
28:31Hello, Taggy.
28:32Nice get-up.
28:33Grub smells good.
28:34I'm still cross with you, Fred Frid.
28:36I mean, what were you thinking, inviting a single man?
28:38I mean, what kind of a dinner party have you had nine guests?
28:40Ten guests now, because I've just invited a single woman to Bannister Books.
28:43Fred Frid, how could you?
28:45Now I'm going to have to change the whole plus-mont.
28:51Terrific.
28:54I could help you with the menus.
28:56I'm doing French for GCSE.
29:05They're going to be here soon, Mrs. Makepeace.
29:07Yes, Mrs. Jones.
29:08Sorry, did you decide if you want the cheese first or the pavlova?
29:11Fred Frid?
29:12Cheese or dessert?
29:14Don't posh people say pudding.
29:16Pudding?
29:16But dessert is French.
29:18Agatha, which is it?
29:19I don't know.
29:20Pudding.
29:20I mean, they learn how to board in school.
29:24Chin up, Massey.
29:26We've worked so hard, we can enjoy it now.
29:28I mean, who'd have thought that you and me entertain the Lord and the Lady, eh?
29:33Right.
29:48It's a nice, cosy dinner at Freddy's bum in a board seat at the end of it.
29:52I've rather implied to Lady Gosling he's already said yes, so we need to reel him in tonight.
29:57We might as well kiss goodbye to the franchise.
29:59No, absolutely.
30:01Operation Charm Offensive.
30:02Well, Offensive is right, we'll be forced to admire the soft furnishings, fitted carpets everywhere.
30:08Well, don't let Valerie Jones get to you, darling.
30:12You know who she reminds you of.
30:13Who?
30:14Your mother.
30:16Oh.
30:28Come on.
30:30You've got five minutes.
30:31Yeah, well, five minutes is how long it takes to do this bloody dress-up.
30:36No, all right.
30:39Um, you know I need you to, er, behave yourself this evening, don't you?
30:43Er, I want Tony to invite me onto the board at Carinium, and we need to look proper.
30:50Respectable.
30:50Darling, is this about Rupert?
30:52It was just a silly flirtation.
30:54Come on, you know I love you most of all.
30:56Besides, I thought you wanted a young wife that everyone admires.
30:59I do, darling.
31:01Just prefer they admire you from further away.
31:16So it was a considerable renovation?
31:18Yes, it was terribly pokey.
31:20Three bedrooms and only the one bathroom, so we had to extend.
31:24But once we'd rendered over the old stonework, you can't tell the joy between the old and new.
31:28I thought this was a listed building.
31:30Oh, it is.
31:31Yeah.
31:32Fred Fred has friends in high places.
31:34I mean, one needs a good-sized lounge for entertaining.
31:37Hmm.
31:38Lounge.
31:39Behave.
31:41Living charming.
31:48I think I've had this dream.
31:50Valerie made me.
31:51She's so short.
31:54Brevity is the soul of wit.
31:56And I can almost see your brevities.
32:03In fact, this is a listed building.
32:06There are rules.
32:07To come.
32:08I need to sit down with you, Mum.
32:13I...
32:14Oh.
32:16Darling, you look rubbishy.
32:18Oh, James hates this, but it's the only clean one I've got.
32:21Mm-hmm.
32:21Um.
32:22Hello, Valerie.
32:25Evening, Stratton.
32:26Listen.
32:27I think you're giving the wrong impression about the tennis game with your wife.
32:30Or quite innocent sort of thing that wouldn't bat an eyelid on the continent.
32:33Good, clean, open-air fun.
32:35Shake hands and play nicely, shall we?
32:44Come on.
32:45Freddie!
32:46Sound system!
32:48Sorry, love.
32:49Wrong will.
32:50Freddie's equipment is staggering.
32:54Well...
32:57I...
32:58I gather you spent this afternoon on the couch with my husband.
33:00Yes.
33:01Do you mind?
33:02No.
33:03Good for you.
33:04I hope you told him it was marvellous afterwards.
33:09Thanks, Fred.
33:10Nature abhors a vacuum.
33:12Yes, so does my cleaner.
33:15That's very good.
33:16That's pretty good.
33:17You show me this sound system.
33:20I'll be back in a tick.
33:23You're ahead with the host.
33:25Bet you're next to him at dinner.
33:32Right, I'm off to see what decorative hell
33:35Valerie's unleashed on the downstairs loo.
33:37Clucum, darling. Clucum.
33:50Your expertise will be a bite.
33:54Of course, you're busy.
33:55Well, aye, your life's really useful.
33:57We'd have fun.
33:58I'm not trying to seduce you onto his board, is he?
34:01We're a viable, growing company with excellent prospects.
34:04The financial awards are considerable.
34:06Ah, must we bring money into it.
34:09Fred is a businessman. It's what we do.
34:10You ever said no to this man?
34:12Frequently.
34:13Did you enjoy the polo?
34:15Ho, ho, ho, ho.
34:16You're a very bad influence.
34:17I did ache for three days.
34:18Freddie?
34:19Mr. Verica and Mrs. Stratton are on the television.
34:23Oh, yes. Do you want to see this?
34:24Yeah, OK.
34:37Sarah, welcome.
34:38Hi, James.
34:38Absolutely.
34:39There you are, Sarah.
34:41Where's Sarah?
34:41You've been married to Paul Stratton, MP for Cotchester, for a few months now.
34:46How do you see your role as the wife of an MP?
34:49To support my husband in every possible way.
34:52And how do you get on with Paul's family?
34:53I mean, his children must be nearly as old as you are.
34:55Oh, very good, James.
34:56Gripping stuff.
34:57There's a lot of pressure on Paul to leave his first wife.
34:59But because he eventually made that decision, you know, I'm branded a scarlet woman.
35:03So I've had to try even harder to prove myself a good woman.
35:10Cute.
35:20Engaged to be married to a busy, powerful, famous man.
35:23The one thing I will say is, do not let yourself go after you're worried.
35:26I mean, we all know what happens then.
35:28Hello, Cameron.
35:29Let me get you a drink.
35:30They're all glued to the local news, I'm afraid.
35:33Oh, James!
35:34Stop it.
35:35What are you, 21?
35:37Please.
35:38And the rest.
35:39She's a natural, isn't she?
35:41Well, it's just wonderful to see her opening up.
35:42I understand that...
35:54Oh, my God.
36:29Don't last for seconds, all right?
36:31Is this not fishing?
36:33You cologne?
36:34I wear it all the time.
36:35I like it.
36:36You sure the lighting wasn't a bit hard?
36:38It was brilliant.
36:40What the hell are you doing here?
36:41Freddie called after you left.
36:42I couldn't see no to him.
36:43Could I?
36:44Don't do anything outrageous.
36:45Stay out of my way.
36:49Well, I clearly drew the long straw.
36:54Oh, you're here, yeah?
36:55Yeah.
36:59Ah, Cavendish.
37:00We've never really had a proper chat, have we?
37:02No, we haven't, Lee Berry here.
37:04Oh, Monica, please.
37:05We're all friends here.
37:14Rupert Campbell Black.
37:18I presume since we're the only people here with our partners that we're being set up with each other,
37:22and just so you know, I am perfectly comfortable with them.
37:25Do you have a boyfriend?
37:28Kind of.
37:29Kind of?
37:31Mm-hmm.
37:33That's kind.
37:37Sorry, I think, uh, someone's been playing with the, um...
37:41Anything all right, Valerie?
37:43Yes.
37:43Yeah.
37:44Quite, quite all right.
37:46Do you work with Cavendish, James?
37:48Her name's Cannon.
37:49No, I promise it's not.
37:52No, Cavendish.
37:53See?
37:53James thought you were called Cameron.
37:56Yeah.
37:57It's Cameron.
37:58Yeah.
37:59But this beautiful was honest to Cavendish, so why didn't you say anything?
38:03Well, you're my boss's wife.
38:05Well, silly girl.
38:08There's no need.
38:09Honestly, what peculiar behaviour?
38:16Salon moves.
38:17Do you like salmon moves?
38:19Sir, what have you got?
38:21Chinged French peasant, cravat sauce.
38:24Desert, chateau.
38:26Do you think it's garnished from actual sand?
38:28Garnished with leftover peasants?
38:32Not frequently, no.
38:33Talk wise, Agatha, please.
38:36Sorry.
38:36I didn't tell her.
39:01It looks amazing.
39:03I do love a bit of pheasant.
39:06And how'd you get on with Declan on it?
39:08Well, I'm his producer, which gives him license to be obnoxious.
39:11God knows how his wife puts up with them.
39:13Well, you could ask Taggy here.
39:14She's his daughter.
39:16Oh, God, I'm sorry.
39:19It's all sport with you, isn't it?
39:21Blood sport, mostly the chase.
39:22Oh, but if you caught something, I don't think you'd know what to do with it.
39:26Hmm.
39:27She's quite the ball breaker, your new producer.
39:29Where'd you find her?
39:30Hunted her down in New York.
39:31Ah, blood sports again.
39:32You guys go to school together or something?
39:34Oh, no, no, no, no.
39:36And that's funny.
39:37Why?
39:39Because, as it happens, no, we didn't.
39:42Rupert went to Harrow.
39:44I went to grammar school.
39:46And you'll never let anyone forget it, will you?
39:48I wasn't going to say anything of the sort of you that won't let anyone forget it, Battingham.
39:54Tony was quite different as a boy.
39:57Oh.
39:58Billy Bunter, weren't you?
40:00Okay.
40:00What's grammar school and how is it different from where you went?
40:04Well, it's increasingly hard to say.
40:06Rupert's school cost a lot more, but they didn't spend any of it teaching him manners.
40:12Very good, Lady Battingham.
40:13I can't imagine you fat Tony.
40:15That's where I got my drive to succeed.
40:17I wish Fred Fridge had a drive like that.
40:19We can't budge his cows at all.
40:21Ha!
40:22Be careful what you wish for, Valerie.
40:25It might drive him to some dangerous places.
40:28I've been meaning to say, Tony, we've found a presenter for our Caring for the Elderly segment.
40:32She's a Jamaican lady living in Cotchester.
40:34A 70-year-old widow with an adult daughter, which makes her a black single mother.
40:39Box tape.
40:40I was brought up by a black single mother.
40:43Can't wait to tune in.
40:52She's so exotic, isn't she?
40:54Where's she from?
40:55America, I think.
40:56Wayne likes black girls, don't you, Wayne?
40:57What?
40:57Shut up!
40:58You've got a picture of Grace Jones when I close on.
41:00I saw it in your pants drawer.
41:02Oh, it's going so well.
41:04The pheasant was divine.
41:05Everyone's saying so.
41:07Oh, I knew you'd be wonderful at this.
41:10I'm sorry I should put you in that thing.
41:11It was me.
41:12You were at the menu's out.
41:13That's why the spelling's so bad.
41:15Oh, God.
41:16You're dyslexia.
41:19I'm so sorry.
41:21We thought we were taking the mickey out of...
41:24someone else.
41:26Well, you cook like a dream, even if you can't spell for shit.
41:54What's your favourite thing about your job?
41:58Well, what a lovely question.
42:04Space, up there, most British satellites use my computers now,
42:10and sometimes I look up at the night sky
42:14and I see a little star winking back at me,
42:17and I think I've made that happen.
42:21And it blows my mind.
42:31Chateau Gatheau.
42:33Mmm.
42:34This looks divine.
42:38Well done, Angel.
42:40Mm-hmm.
42:52You stupid bitch.
42:54What the fuck are you doing?
42:56I'm so sorry.
42:56I'm sorry.
42:58Oops.
42:58Fetch a cloth, Agatha.
43:00Don't fetch a cloth.
43:01It's Armani.
43:02I'll pay for it.
43:03Oh, you couldn't begin to.
43:05You needn't be a bitch about it.
43:07I'm sorry.
43:10Come on.
43:11This can't get you tidied up.
43:12Come with me.
43:15Rupert, how could you?
43:21God, that is exactly the kind of crass,
43:25I thought she'd like it.
43:26God knows her mother would have.
43:27We went home just a buffet laid out for you to snack on.
43:30Perhaps she's not as innocent as you'd think she is,
43:32and that's a very cheeky little dress.
43:34Valerie made her wear it to do the job.
43:36Not that you'd understand.
43:39With looks like hers,
43:40I wouldn't have thought a career was that important.
43:41Honestly, Rupert, this was badly done.
43:44Mm-hmm.
44:08Taggy, I think...
44:09Get away from me.
44:11I thought you wanted me to.
44:12Why on earth would you think that?
44:14Well, you like to watch.
44:16Well, you might be grown up enough to play, too.
44:18You're disgusting,
44:19and I want nothing to do with you.
44:24Taggy, hang on.
44:29I think it's...
44:30I think it's...
44:31I think it's...
44:32I think it's...
44:32I think it's...
44:34I think it's...
44:40I think it's...
44:44thehair is 독- dictatorship skill.
44:46Valerie, all right?
44:48She's chuffed to bits that you're going to dinner.
44:51So thank you.
44:54So...
44:56This bald thing, Marvell, she just came for me again to something more cultural.
45:04So why don't you send me over the business plan, I'll look over it, I'll give you a call
45:10on Monday.
45:27Last night was humiliating.
45:30I don't know if I can do this anymore.
45:34You and me.
45:35What?
45:36Why?
45:41You were at Valerie Jones dinner party?
45:45Yeah.
45:46I gather you got pudding tipped all over you by my daughter, I'll pay for the cleaning bill.
45:50Wouldn't Rupert do that?
45:52It was him who made Taggy drop the pudding when he groped her.
45:56He what?
45:57Oh yeah, no, no.
46:00It was more than a pinch on the bottom, wasn't it?
46:02I didn't see it at the time, but grope sounds right.
46:04I'm sorry, he fucking what?
46:07Yeah.
46:07He's a promiscuous libertine, isn't he?
46:11Fondles whoever he likes.
46:15Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
46:16Hold on, Declan, wait, wait.
46:18That bastard!
46:18Jesus, when I catch him, I'll...
46:20Interview him to death?
46:23You know, that's an idea.
46:25Think about it.
46:26You go over there and thump him, who gets to see it?
46:28One housekeeper and a gardener at best.
46:31Have him on the show.
46:33You can flay him in front of 16 million people.
46:37Oh, but you already said you didn't want him, right?
46:38No hinterland.
46:39I didn't want him either.
46:40I didn't want to give him the exposure, but exposing him.
46:44Come on, that's a whole different show, isn't it?
46:46That's where you destroy him,
46:48and it lasts a fuck of a lot longer than a black eye.
46:53Revenge is a dish best served on television.
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