- 6 hours ago
Falling Season 1 Episode 5
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00THE END
00:19Ah, you're awake already.
00:23I smuggled an alarm clock in.
00:25We come as a pair now.
00:27Poor Agnes is saddled with me.
00:30I enjoy it.
00:32Your dear's been back.
00:34Oh, is that right?
00:36You see the horse chestnut tree?
00:38There are leaves missing at the bottom of it.
00:42Then let's sit here all day.
00:45Wait until it comes back to us.
00:48Wouldn't that be nice?
00:57I'm gonna get it on my arm so-
01:00I need the back.
01:07Alright.
01:08It's good
01:09It's good
01:09It's good
01:19Right
01:29Shhh
01:31Don't go
01:39His ways are faithfulness and love
01:45For those who keep his covenant and will
01:51The Lord's friendship is for those who revere him
01:57And to them he reveals his covenant
02:08Come, Father, who art in heaven
02:20How long be thy name
02:28My kingdom come
02:33Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
02:36It's been 48 hours since my last confession.
02:40And how can I help?
02:42Well, I have committed four acts of blasphemy
02:46And five, no, six of self-abasement.
02:51Seven, maybe, actually.
02:54You've had a busy time.
02:56She just talks at me day after day.
02:59Oh, Brian's left his toenails all over the floor again.
03:03Brian's making a mess in the bathroom.
03:06I'd love for my Alan to be making any of those messes.
03:09But she doesn't even...
03:12I find myself getting so frustrated with her.
03:17I don't see how you can take any wrong from finding your sister difficult.
03:21It's just when I kill her that I'll be in trouble.
03:23Yeah, that I believe is friendable.
03:28She's stronger every day.
03:31And she's using this new energy to buzz around me.
03:36That's good.
03:38I asked her along to these classes they do at the GP as a sort of partner.
03:44And she is taking it way too seriously.
03:48She keeps getting me to practice this breathing stuff.
03:54And you?
03:56Are you okay?
04:01I think a professional's definitely not supposed to be about my feelings.
04:09Dad said that you'd visited him.
04:11He didn't say it in a nice way.
04:13And I don't think what you said made any difference.
04:16But that was kind of you.
04:22It was a complicated discussion.
04:27What did he say to you?
04:34He sent me a challenge.
04:37Which I didn't meet.
04:41Can't say any more than that.
04:42I'm sorry.
04:44Do you think he's going to be okay?
04:48Do you want him to be?
04:51Yes.
04:54I hope he will be.
05:03Francesca said I was allowed to make it mine.
05:08We had the opportunity to replant as we harvested, so...
05:12So you made some changes in what you planted and where you planted it.
05:18Quite bold, wouldn't you say?
05:21No.
05:21And I wasn't even half out the door.
05:27Oh.
05:29Don't.
05:30Don't.
05:31Even as a joke.
05:32Come on.
05:33Show me the worst of it.
05:36I'm planning on scallions in half the cabbage patch.
05:40The other half will still have cabbages in.
05:42But I like scallions.
05:44And to be honest, no one likes cabbages as much as me.
05:47So that's a good idea.
05:49And maybe more raspberries and strawberries in your polytunnel.
05:53Scandalous.
05:55I made a raspberry and rhubarb jam that people seem to like.
05:58Yes.
05:59I tried it at breakfast.
06:00It was delicious.
06:05Was it me that made you go?
06:10Sorry?
06:11Was it how I behaved?
06:13Were you disappointed?
06:14Or was it how the abbess treated me?
06:15Were you disappointed in her?
06:16No.
06:18No, it wasn't you.
06:20Never you.
06:22It wasn't her either.
06:23Although she did annoy me.
06:29Things are much better for me now.
06:31With her.
06:33The abbess is...
06:34She likes you now.
06:36Wouldn't go that far.
06:38It was a man who made me go.
06:43The handsome priest.
06:45Did everyone know?
06:46I saw you talking once.
06:48He was as into you as you him.
06:50You're wrong there.
06:52I was ridiculous.
06:55I don't think so.
06:56I was always good at spotting it.
06:58It was my skill at school for some reason.
07:01Maybe because I wasn't into boys I could read them.
07:04I'd tell the girls who'd fancied who.
07:06It was very useful knowledge.
07:08Must have been hugely popular.
07:10I was the mad Christian Dyke witch.
07:13What a combination.
07:19I was worried everyone was laughing at me.
07:26The lusty nun.
07:29What a thing to be.
07:34You don't know how much you're loved, do you?
07:37No one's laughing.
07:39No one has laughed.
07:41They're just, they're, they're delighted to have you back with us.
07:47You are Anna.
07:51You belong to us.
07:53You belong to us.
08:17Can we talk?
08:20Oh, yeah, I hoped we would.
08:24Awkward to air dirty pants in front of other people.
08:27I hope I'm not wearing dirty pants.
08:30Ah, I, I've got that phrase wrong.
08:33Dirty laundry.
08:34Yes.
08:35Well, it's the same thing, I suppose.
08:37Yeah.
08:40You do know that she's returned home, Anna.
08:45Uh, yeah.
08:47Well, yeah, so, so that just leaves you now, doesn't it?
08:53I don't know what to do with you.
08:57What are your options?
08:59Well, there are those who, they truly believe in you.
09:03You tried to get rid of me, I've got blocks.
09:05And there are others who think that you're damaged, and that you might cause damage.
09:10And I wasn't blocked.
09:12I consulted.
09:14You know, there's some priests, they, they come back stronger for having been broken.
09:19And that is why I was prepared to bring you here.
09:22But the question is, what led to the break?
09:27People, they, they use words like last and love.
09:30But it is never that.
09:35Vows are not discarded for such things.
09:39Vows are discarded because of something here being unresolved up here.
09:49Is this your normal tactic, your counselling?
09:53Is this a surprising amount of anger in your words?
09:58You know, you are unusual.
10:03Amongst the young priests I'm priestly finding, that it's all about the liturgy.
10:08And the social work of priests is rare.
10:11What do you think a priest should do?
10:14Bring people to God, so that all may bathe in his light.
10:23Not play God.
10:25Without a thought to the consequences.
10:29Does that make me a conservative?
10:31Or does that make me careful with the needs of others?
10:37When we overstep, we risk them.
10:40It's inappropriate.
10:42It's wrong.
10:43What if help is what they need?
10:45Well, do we let them ask for help?
10:49Or do we tell them that they need it?
10:55David, you're so reckless.
11:00We should go in.
11:17In the name of the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
11:21Thank you all for coming.
11:23I do so like these meetings.
11:25It is a chance for us to affirm our success and express doubts about our failures.
11:32Now, I hope you've all been sent the agenda.
11:35Let's start with the building fund.
11:38We've had a good quarter, so donations are high, which has allowed us...
11:46I don't even know what she said.
11:50I just found myself.
11:54And so...
11:57I jumped.
11:58I love the window.
12:00I jumped.
12:01I've been strong.
12:02I can slap the boos on you now.
12:04How do we let them ask for help?
12:07It's inappropriate.
12:09Are you helping here?
12:11Play God.
12:12Without a thought to the consequences.
12:15You are wrong.
12:16Bring people to God.
12:20You might cause damage.
12:24David is so reckless.
12:44Black coffee, six sugars.
12:48Okay.
12:51It works.
12:53Trust me.
12:56Okay.
12:59You gave us all the fright.
13:04Just a stomach bug.
13:08Do you want to talk about it?
13:11Do you want me to call your sponsor?
13:12I don't have a sponsor.
13:15I've just come to the meetings.
13:17Not to judge.
13:19But those I know who don't have a sponsor are usually trying to avoid something.
13:24They're usually being a bit dishonest with themselves.
13:31This is so kind, but do you mind if I go?
13:34I'd rather you didn't.
13:37I'm the same.
13:38I don't know who the best friend is.
13:38I don't know who the best friend is.
13:39No.
13:53I don't know who the best friend is.
13:55Take care tonight.
13:55Bye.
13:55Bye.
13:56Bye.
13:59Bye.
14:02Bye.
14:08What's happening?
14:09It's Polly.
14:11She's struggling to breathe.
14:54Mum?
14:56Oh, hello.
14:58What are you doing here?
15:00Well, I didn't want to go up there.
15:01I assumed you already had enough attention on you.
15:04What, so you thought you'd just hang around on the off chance?
15:07Well, it's a regular haunt, is it not?
15:09Well, I've got some deliveries to do.
15:13You could help me.
15:21You've started smoking again.
15:23Don't tell your dad.
15:27I couldn't stop thinking about what I said to you.
15:30Which bit?
15:31Yeah.
15:32The cruelty stuff or the other stuff?
15:34Or was there any other stuff?
15:38I met a boy when I was 15.
15:41Poorly dressed.
15:42Terrible moustache.
15:43He used to walk me home from school.
15:45I was at this terrible girls' school.
15:47You told me about the girls' school.
15:49Not about this boy.
15:51He didn't talk much.
15:53He'd just mooch along beside me.
15:54I'd always be embarrassed whenever he got near my house because my mother would watch out of the window.
16:01She liked to interfere, my mother.
16:03Sounds familiar.
16:05Sounds familiar.
16:34He didn't care if people laughed at him.
16:38He just was as he was.
16:41Anyway, one day my dad exploded at him.
16:45Nothing violent, but the things he said.
16:47He tore him apart.
16:49How he looked.
16:50How he spoke.
16:51What he was going to be.
16:53I can still remember most of the words.
16:55It was the worst thing that ever happened to me.
16:58Certainly the worst thing that ever happened to him.
17:00Was he okay?
17:01What happened to him?
17:03Well, I married him, of course.
17:05Spent my life with him.
17:07But it was Dad.
17:09I didn't mean it to be a surprise.
17:14I know I've not always been the happiest mother.
17:19Wife.
17:21I have had, have, an unhappiness of my own that I brought with me into the relationship
17:28that being with you, with Chris, hasn't resolved.
17:33But he has...
17:37When I imagine my life without him, I see only turgid blood.
17:46But why haven't either of you ever mentioned this to me before?
17:50The Dat-Dat would follow you home.
17:54I was lucky.
17:55I met him when I was 15.
17:56I think I was on the verge of many mistakes.
18:02My home wasn't...
18:04I think I'd have been unhappy.
18:06Unhappier.
18:08I don't know how he feels about that.
18:11Of course, rougher end of the bargain.
18:16Well, I wasn't supposed to make you cry.
18:19Fucking hell, whatever I say makes you cry.
18:22So now you're telling me that I should believe in love?
18:25I'm telling you you're your father's daughter.
18:28That when you know, you know.
18:30When you love, you love.
18:32I'm saying sorry.
18:36When you joined up, became Sister Anna, you ripped my heart out.
18:42And then suddenly you're on the other side and it's supposed to be okay.
18:46I was confused.
18:50But I do believe if love is what you need, then...
18:57I, er...
18:58I stopped him.
19:01Well, I stopped him from kissing me.
19:05Oh?
19:06Why?
19:09Because he wasn't ready.
19:10Because he's a priest.
19:12Because I was bloody stupid.
19:15So let me understand.
19:17You were ready to burn your life.
19:19And he wasn't.
19:21And then he was and you turned him away.
19:24Yes, exactly.
19:25But he kissed you.
19:26It was a mistake.
19:28So you ran away back here.
19:31Interesting.
19:32First time I've known you a coward.
19:38I came here to be nice.
19:42I can't do nice.
19:44I'm sorry.
19:47I do love you.
19:58What have you done this time, David?
20:01This is serious and worrying behaviour.
20:05This could be a police matter.
20:09David hit a boy in the throat.
20:12With a dinner tray.
20:14I wasn't trying to.
20:15Dave, he asked you to be quiet.
20:17I was trying to get away from him.
20:18Are you helping here?
20:19David is a dangerously disruptive presence here.
20:26I was trying to.
20:27I was trying to.
20:27Forgive me, Father.
20:29For I've sinned.
20:32Are those the right words?
20:35They always told me I didn't have to come here, but.
20:39You're just interested in how it works.
20:44Or have you something you want to talk to me about?
20:49I'm not sure.
20:51The way this works is you tell me what's troubling you.
20:55I listen.
20:58And then I give you a prayer or something to perform.
21:03So, whatever mistakes you've made,
21:07and we all make mistakes,
21:12God can set you on a journey of correction.
21:18I hate them.
21:20Who do you hate?
21:23Everyone.
21:24I don't like anyone.
21:25I hate them all.
21:29You.
21:32Your parents?
21:33They're not my parents.
21:36They're good people.
21:38I just hate them.
21:41It's hate or sin.
21:45Most hate is temporary.
21:47It's passion.
21:48And so it can be challenged.
21:51It can be changed.
21:53I don't understand.
21:56Everyone talks about God's love.
22:00God loves you.
22:01God loves everyone.
22:04But you know the best thing about God's love?
22:06He wants to love you.
22:09He wants you to love yourself.
22:12And to love him back.
22:14And maybe,
22:16if he can do that,
22:19maybe,
22:21he can find infinite love for others.
22:25God loves you.
22:25wouldn't that be beautiful?
22:40I'm afraid to tell you that sister Polly Everon died three hours ago.
22:46I am so sorry for all our loss.
22:51Polly was here longer than any of us.
22:54She found great comfort here.
22:56God here.
23:00The last thing she asked me and she was very weak, unable to say much,
23:05was that she'd be buried in the convent.
23:09We have never had that before, but having looked into the matter,
23:13she had no other surviving family.
23:15So if not here,
23:16I'm not quite sure where else to put her.
23:22I also think
23:25I would like a trace of her left with us.
23:29I would like her to remain a part of how we live.
23:34I've spent my life here looking up to her.
23:37For that and many reasons.
23:40A prayer for her.
23:45Dear Lord,
23:46we thank you for our sister Polly.
23:50We thank you for her goodness and her grace,
23:54her certainty,
23:56and her spirit.
23:59We hope she will find a way to serve you in the next life
24:02as well as she has in this one.
24:05We loved her.
24:08Amen.
24:08Amen.
24:09Amen.
24:37You
24:50Oh, my God.
25:10Shhh.
25:21Let's wait.
25:27Shhh.
25:27Mm-hm.
25:31About two more days a bad thing.
25:33Here, no.
25:34Okay.
25:37Shhh.
25:38Your life, I, is different.
25:43Everyone will matter. I see you, who you are.
25:49Everyone I think matters.
25:51You know, you're a good man.
25:56You're a good man.
25:57My brother, my sister, my brother, my brother, who I am.
26:01The best, the best, the best, the best, the best.
26:06What are you?
26:09The best.
26:10The best, the best, the best.
26:18And I've been there, my most warm.
26:22Right.
26:26Maybe you should try it with her.
26:29I can't believe she's holding her.
26:33Close.
26:36We'll see what about her.
26:41What's wrong with her?
26:44What's wrong with her?
26:49I see. I see.
26:52I see.
26:53Every time, so I see.
26:56I see.
26:58I get you.
27:07I see.
27:08I see.
27:36I don't think you want me to try to let you know.
27:42I don't think.
28:00They who dwell at the ends of the earth stand in awe of your signs.
28:05You make the dawn and the sunset shout for joy.
28:12Psalms, chapter 65, verse 8.
28:17Very good.
28:25It wasn't a man for me.
28:27Or a woman, I should say.
28:30Modernity, etc.
28:32The absence of that was never a problem for me.
28:37But there were six months after I turned 50 when I couldn't understand the lack of devotion
28:43of those coming in.
28:46Six months.
28:47It was probably three years.
28:50You'd been with us 15 years or so by then and I looked at you and I thought,
28:55maybe the time has come for me to take this all off.
29:00To let you take over.
29:02Maybe I'd like to escape away.
29:06Maybe my family have a small farm in Donegal and my brother would make me very welcome.
29:13My point is, it's such a strange gift we're given.
29:17The certainty of a marriage without all that comes with that.
29:22Polly found it effortlessly.
29:24I don't think she ever doubted her journey.
29:27But most, most of us have moments of struggle.
29:37Is this you telling me that you'll forgive me for leaving?
29:41I still think about Donegal.
29:46As abbess, you are both my children and my sisters and...
29:50I sometimes...
29:53When I'm in pain as I am today, I sometimes wish I could just escape.
29:58But I don't.
30:01I stay and I try.
30:04Out there is no escape.
30:08I know.
30:10But you do understand, Anna, outside is hard.
30:14But this isn't a sanctuary from that.
30:18Both are work.
30:19Both have to be work.
30:33Both have to be veryointed tall as well.
30:33Nothing belongs to me.
31:02...able to be earned.
31:05I don't want to go into the, um, convent.
31:11You don't want to face the abbess?
31:14You hope to find Sister Anna round the back instead?
31:20It's not quite that.
31:21She's just finding her peace again.
31:24And you want to disturb it?
31:28Which one see her? Talk to her?
31:30For her own good or for yours?
31:34We love her here.
31:36She loves being here.
31:40Don't disrupt her again.
31:43She's not as strong as you think.
31:46Go home.
31:49Please.
32:10Go home.
32:11Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
32:13Go, go, go, go, go, go.
32:14Go, go, go, go, go, go.
32:56Can I have a wall plug, please?
32:59A what?
33:00Wall plug.
33:01It's a white plastic thing.
33:03Looks like the head of an arrow.
33:05Yep.
33:07It doesn't look like an arrow.
33:09And yet you still knew what it meant.
33:14Is he ready?
33:17No.
33:19When will I know you haven't broken everything?
33:21Haven't you got homework?
33:22You need my help here.
33:29It's finished.
33:36Oh, it's tuna pasta.
33:39You're welcome to stay for dinner.
33:43Oh, um...
33:44I'd better get back.
33:47Good decision.
33:49I'll probably be horrible.
33:51I'm trying to sneak fish into everything and ruin everything.
33:55Most days she gives up and just eats crisps.
34:00Well, that's a well done for try and smile.
34:03Just to let you know I hate that smile.
34:05Sorry.
34:06I know that smile too.
34:11When he saw you, are you allowed to see what he asked for?
34:20I think it's a good idea to share.
34:25I still think about him.
34:30Not always in a bad way.
34:35Does that make me shit?
34:37No.
34:40Serenity feels like a long way away.
34:44I don't know if you know, I've also had addiction issues.
34:50Yeah.
34:52Phil told me.
34:53Alcohol.
34:55Phil told me that too.
34:58I just wanted to say, if you ever do need to talk to someone,
35:03the sign of the cross bit isn't so important that they can't talk to you as a human, do you?
35:09That's kind.
35:11I've got a sponsor.
35:13But that's kind.
35:15I find the meetings really useful, but the sponsors weren't ever really for me.
35:21Because the ones that want to fix don't like to be fixed.
35:25I've seen your type before.
35:28You've seen me before too, I'm sure.
35:32A few people in similar places.
35:36Do they do okay?
35:39They come out the other side?
35:43Mm-hmm.
35:45Yeah.
35:46They did.
35:48You want to ask about the ones like you?
35:53Ask if they sorted themselves out?
35:56Yeah.
35:59Well, one did.
36:02One didn't.
36:05See, I was a lot more honest than you then, wasn't I?
36:11Sure you won't stay for dinner?
36:14Yeah.
36:18Thank you for the stare thing.
36:23I hope you make it through.
36:26Because you're one of the good ones.
36:30I think you're one of the good ones too.
36:35I think we'll both make it.
36:36I think we're both in.
36:37I'm sorry.
36:43I think we'll be.
36:53Yes, I'm sorry.
36:53Bye-bye.
36:54Bye-bye.
36:54Bye-bye.
36:54Bye-bye.
36:54Bye-bye.
36:55Bye-bye.
36:56Bye-bye.
36:58Bye-bye.
37:01Bye-bye.
37:05Bye.
37:25Almighty, ever-living God,
37:27you rule both the living and the dead
37:30and are merciful to all.
37:33We humbly beseech you,
37:36that those for whom we pour out our prayers
37:40may obtain pardon for their sins
37:44through your tender mercy.
37:48Amen.
38:05Do you find this place to be a sanctuary, Bimpe?
38:08I do.
38:10But you work hard at what it requires of you.
38:14Faith is hard.
38:16No, I'm not talking about faith.
38:18I'm talking about...
38:22If I hadn't found a way for them to let you stay,
38:25would it have been easier if they'd just thrown you out?
38:30I'm grateful you didn't let them do that.
38:33Why?
38:34Well, what...
38:36What do you find here?
38:40Belonging.
38:42And...
38:43And sometimes that peace you talked of.
38:47Peace.
38:50Belonging.
38:54Good.
39:19You knew, didn't you?
39:20The...
39:22The sanctuary comment was you guiding me.
39:28I am a guide.
39:32You knew I didn't fit here anymore.
39:37I did not.
39:39I just wanted you to think how this made you feel.
39:43How being here again made you feel.
39:47I want it to be home.
39:51But it's not.
39:54I think...
39:57I feel that staying here would be cowardice.
40:07This...
40:08This...
40:09This...
40:10This just isn't the life for me anymore.
40:13Do you know what you will do?
40:15No.
40:18Are you going to him?
40:21No.
40:24It's not about that.
40:27I'm not sure it was ever about that.
40:32I have to...
40:34I have to find...
40:36A new answer.
40:40A new peace.
40:46You are not a coward, Anna.
40:50No.
40:52I'm a...
40:54An unemployed, largely uneducated, middle-aged woman.
41:01But I do know a huge amount about the Bible.
41:07I have loved sharing your home.
41:12God's home.
41:15And I...
41:16I do love God.
41:19I know.
41:24The last time I...
41:26I left in panic.
41:30But this time...
41:32This time...
41:33I mean it.
41:41But I have loved you.
41:47I love you.
41:53And I have felt your love.
41:56And I hope you have felt mine.
42:13I love you.
42:17And I love you.
42:20I don't know.
42:51I don't know.
43:31I don't know.
43:53I don't know.
Comments