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00:17¡Hola a todos y bienvenidos a ECW!
00:30...on the only network that prefers possum as pie-filling, TNN.
00:39We are here in Toledo, Ohio.
00:47I'm Joey Stiles.
00:53And well, well, it is I, the quintessential Stud Muffin, Joel.
01:07I don't have a line tonight.
01:20Joey, I don't have a line tonight.
01:23Well, make something up.
01:27Joey, I don't have a line tonight.
01:32I didn't think of one during my airline flight.
01:37But if I didn't do a nickname, it just wouldn't be right.
01:42And the girls I f*** here in Toledo are always nice and tight.
01:58Gertner.
02:10At this time, we're going to attempt to get some...
02:15Uninterrupted comments from Raven.
02:31This is a little strange, so, you know, run with it.
02:36They say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.
02:44Well, Justin Credible, you stole my look.
02:48You stole my girl.
02:50You stole my title.
02:54Two days ago, you called me on the telephone, and you quoted one of my heroes to me.
03:05You said, there's a warning sign on the road ahead.
03:11There's a lot of people saying we'd be better off dead.
03:15I don't feel like Satan, but I am to them.
03:20So I try to forget it any way I can.
03:24And right then and there, I realized, Justin, that you could never be me.
03:30Because when they call you Satan, it bothered you.
03:34When they called me Satan, I enjoyed it.
03:39So it is written, and so it...
03:42¡Gracias!
04:16¡Gracias!
04:17¡Gracias!
04:19I'm not you. I'm talking about the bitch with the belt.
04:51¡Suscríbete al canal!
05:12And notice, Just Incredible and Francine wanted no part of the Innovator of Violence.
05:20But Just Incredible did not get away.
05:24He's been avoiding Tommy Dreamer since Hardcore Heavy 2000.
05:29Dreamer wants the cheering of Francine and the World Heavyweight Champion.
05:41And now the U.S. Mail, Scottie Anton, is attacking Raven.
05:45And these two have a stormy relationship that goes back a long way.
05:52I thought the postman only knocks once.
05:55The U.S. Mail, Scottie Anton, knocked Raven in the head about eight times.
05:59Now he's giving him the slap.
06:01And now Cyrus, being the empty suit, the coward that he is, is stopping Raven when he's down.
06:08What are you doing, huh?
06:09Are you out of your mind?
06:11What are you doing, idiot?
06:13I'm the network.
06:14You don't want to have...
06:14The extreme official, H.C. Lowe.
06:17I'm standing up to the network.
06:19Good for you.
06:27And now Scottie Anton is locking on his version of the Shark Shooter.
06:37Do you want to give, huh?
06:38H.C.
06:39Come on, you little bastard.
06:41You want to stay up there?
06:43It looks to me like he's going postal.
06:44Come on.
06:45You want to give, huh?
06:47Come on, you little bastard.
06:49Going postal at the hands of the U.S. Mail.
06:52Yeah.
06:54Let me just remind everyone that we're here tonight to give you the clap.
07:10Come on, kid.
07:11That's your gimmick.
07:12Show him the gimmick.
07:14This gimmick is shameless even for this two-bit network.
07:17I don't want to see his gimmick.
07:20Yeah.
07:46I don't want to see his gimmick.
07:55¡Gracias!
08:19Tonight, it's the rematch you've demanded!
08:22The Sandman challenges the world television champion, Rhino!
08:33Quick Wreck is dead.
08:37Seems like you're in the wrong company, Jack.
08:40You picked the wrong day to piss me off.
08:45Hey, Paisan!
08:47Paisan?
08:48You ain't no Paisan.
08:50You're just a cheap ripper for my Italian heritage.
08:53Hey, I never took nothing from nobody.
08:55I'm full-blooded.
08:56You're full-blooded Italian?
08:58Well, I'll tell you what.
09:00Let's see how full-blooded Italian you are.
09:02I got something for you.
09:04Let's see if you can handle it.
09:06Paisan!
09:15I'm full-blooded.
09:17I'm full-blooded.
09:18I'm full-blooded.
09:20I'm full-blooded.
09:23Keep hitting those ropes, kid.
09:25The only way you're going to be full-blooded is after taking a full bottle of Viagra.
09:30Wasn't that kid Tony Marinara in WCW?
09:33You mean he jumped just to be Little Guido's understudy?
09:37I wouldn't know.
09:38I've stopped watching WCW, but after all, Little Guido is the most influential New York Italian in this business.
09:47You think so?
09:48Well, except for the one guy with the beard in Atlanta.
09:52Which guy is that?
09:53You know, the guy that runs with Quigeti Silo and Kennesaw.
09:56This is Grimes!
09:58You mean Murray?
10:00Murray?
10:00Yeah.
10:02No, he was a tag.
10:03His opponent, he weighs in the night at 203 pounds and hails from Johnson City, Tennessee, Kid Cash!
10:17Kid Cash has been racking up a string of victories recently here in Extreme Championship Wrestling, but he's giving up
10:26200 pounds to Grimes of the Baldies.
10:30Nice leapfrogged by Kid Cash.
10:33Ducks the clothesline as he did the elbow.
10:35Tilt the world flying head scissors.
10:38And that's the strategy Cash has to employ.
10:41It's the hit run.
10:42He's got to be elusive yet abusive.
10:45Double springboard and takes Grimes over yet again.
10:50He's got to fly like a butterfly and sting like a bee.
10:56Reversal.
10:59Kid Cash's boot slipped on the top rope.
11:03It almost seemed like he was overanxious to go to the air once again, and it may have cost him
11:09dearly.
11:12Oh, my God!
11:15What in the hell was that?
11:17Grimes adding to his arsenal!
11:20Grimes looking to add another asset to his portfolio.
11:25He's the CEO of Hardcore, don't you know?
11:27And he's not going to sell Kid Cash short.
11:30Says it's just another day at the office.
11:35Spinning leg drop by Grimes.
11:37You know, people don't give Grimes enough credit.
11:39They think all he's good for is throwing himself off of balconies, trying to emulate Nujek at 400 pounds.
11:47Kid Cash knows better.
11:48That's why he did what he did.
11:50Getting on that top rope like a cowboy, baby.
11:53Cover, two, and no.
11:57Kid Cash halting his leapfrog in midair to drive Grimes into the canvas.
12:04Another reversal now.
12:05Clothesline ducked.
12:07Cash got caught.
12:09Nice counter by Grimes to the Tilt-A-Roll Flying Head Scissors.
12:14He got caught by the Fordham Road Badass, the Baldy Grimes.
12:22And Grimes has unleashed at least three or four new moves here tonight on TNN.
12:29The 400-pounder charges and misses and tumbles all the way to the floor.
12:35And that's going to give Kid Cash a break that he desperately needs right now.
12:40Keep your eye on Cash!
12:45He's out of his mind!
12:48Less than a minute ago, Cash damn near broke his neck trying to springboard off that very same top rope.
12:55So what does he do?
12:56He tries it again, this time over concrete, not canvas.
13:01Kid Cash is money!
13:05Cash again going up top.
13:12Great extension of the high cross body, but he got caught by Grimes, who drove him face-first into the
13:19canvas with a modified neckbreaker.
13:23Grimes came here tonight to wrestle.
13:27And he's using his 200-pound weight advantage for all that's worth now, standing on Cash!
13:35200 pounds, that could be another competitor!
13:38This is virtually a handicap match!
13:41Let's just hope that Cash doesn't wind up handicapped!
13:45And they do it!
13:48Grimes, with 400 pounds behind it, drives his chrome-dome of a skull into the groin of Kid Cash!
13:57That'll give you a sack like Tom Green's!
14:00Grimes charges and misses!
14:06Cash with the hood on Conrata, nicely done, but he may have smacked the back of his own head on
14:12the canvas!
14:17Grimes had the second attempt, well scouted, and flapjacks Cash!
14:22That's usually a double-team maneuver, but as you said, Grimes is a tag team all by himself, and Cash
14:30was flat!
14:33And now the 400-pounder is going up top himself, and that does not bode well for Kid Cash!
14:43Grimes misses the somersault senton attempt!
14:47Kid Cash trying to pull himself up using the top rope!
14:52Cash is up, and so is Grimes!
14:55Body scissors, Cash takes him over!
14:58He stunned Grimes!
14:59He got the three!
15:01What an upset!
15:01Kid Cash defeats Bride!
15:04Welcome back to ECW on the Deliverance Channel!
15:08Here's your OneWrestling.com replay of what Tanaka did at Bulls Mahoney last week!
15:16Swinger!
15:18Swinger!
15:19Swing!
15:22Simon has a problem.
15:24You're not even dressed!
15:25We have a match tonight!
15:27We have to go through a little strategy session!
15:28I have to tell you everything, and Simon says turn off the fan!
15:35What are you doing?
15:37I'm posing for one of my biggest fans!
15:42Listen, I'm the brainseer of this operation.
15:45I tell you what to do, and then you do it!
15:49And we win!
15:50Oh!
15:51don't you see that my fan is blowing me
15:55la la la la la
15:57szél Cosma
15:58olí them
16:00don't sing it
16:01swing it
16:10well wonder why we have a problem
16:12out of one comedy act in the next
16:14who do it before this company to get this
16:16this is disgusting
16:18¿Esto es el agua? ¿No deberíamos estar en el lado de Simon todo el tiempo?
16:23¡Qué agua, pendeja! No sé que soy lleno de aceite por culpa tuya.
16:25¡Esto es el agua! ¡Es lo que está diciendo!
16:27¡Es lo que está diciendo! ¡Pendeja, güey! ¡Muy mal parida!
16:30¡Gross!
16:34El pecho de Sicilian, Little Guido,
16:38liderando el joven, formerly known as Tony Maranera,
16:42en WCW, ¡To the Ring!
16:45¡Look at the vascularity, Joey!
16:48Tony Maranera, they should call this kid Muscles Maranera.
16:52Did you see what he was doing with those elastic, flexi, broke thins?
16:57I taught him that.
16:58You didn't say Muscles Maranera, did you?
17:01Yeah, and I'm hungry.
17:03Did you order out yet?
17:04We could call him Carlo Carbonaro, Paulie Pesto.
17:09I'm the best son of a bitch.
17:11Come on, you big funny guy.
17:13Where's Whip Rack?
17:15Where is he?
17:16Want to put fire, baby?
17:17Come on.
17:23Oops.
17:24You know, Mikey,
17:26I would tell you to take a leak on him,
17:29but you might put out the fire.
17:32You almost got your ass kicked.
17:37Gimmick be damned, Big Sal is looking to send that sinister minister straight to hell.
17:45And Mikey Whip Rack had better be Leary of the Sicilian Shooter at ringside.
17:53Collar and elbow tie upside, headlocked by the newcomer, Tony...
17:58Mamalouk!
18:00Mamalouk!
18:00Tony Mamalouk!
18:01Okay, Mamalouk is fine, but I should tell you, this kid was trained to wrestle by Dean Malenka!
18:07And his dietitian is Francesco Rinaldi!
18:11Joel, I'm serious!
18:12And I'm Roba!
18:14We make a hell of a taxi!
18:15You know, you're the Mamalouk.
18:18Mikey Whip Rack drives Tony Mamalouk face first into the canvas.
18:27As the sinister minister looks on, Mikey Whip Rack, a triple crown winner here at ECW,
18:35tries to decapitate this kid.
18:39ECW! ECW! ECW! ECW!
18:43Mikey Whip Rack has a myriad of psychological problems.
18:51Mikey Whip Rack, the unholy altar boy, now stalking Tony Mamalouk.
18:57As the Sicilian Shooter looks on from ringside.
19:03Nice counter!
19:04What a DDT by Mamalouk cover!
19:08And a two and a half!
19:11What a huge upset he would be if Tony Mamalouk were to defeat former World Heavyweight Champion Mikey Whip Rack!
19:21Guido with the Sicilian slice on Mikey!
19:24Cover!
19:27And a kick out!
19:30Guido now distracting referee Jim Molino!
19:38Holy s***!
19:40What the hell?
19:42You guttermouth!
19:43You can't say s*** for CNN!
19:45What the f*** you thinking?
19:47¡No, no, no, no!
20:17¡No, no, no!
20:47¡No, no, no!
20:49Tornado DDT, counter, whipper-stamper, whipper-stamper, Mikey Whipwreck hit his whipper-stamper on Guido.
20:58¡No, no, no!
20:59¡No, no, no!
21:03¡No, no, no!
21:34¡No, no, no!
21:52¡No, no, no!
22:12¡No, no, no!
22:25¡No, no!
22:39¡No, no!
22:44¡No, no!
23:10¡No, no!
23:13You're a glutton.
23:14But I'm not discussing your ravenous appetite.
23:18No, you're a glutton for punishment.
23:22Let's face it, every time Mikey Whipwreck gets within striking distance of you, there's
23:28a four-alarm fire.
23:29He's burned your face not once, not twice, but three times.
23:36On the other hand, there are some sins which I refuse to grant absolution to.
23:44And one of those sins is stupidity.
23:49Big Sal, you showed the world that you were pretty stupid when you put your hands on me.
23:57And the next time you do it, big boy, you're gonna find out the meaning of the term, spontaneous
24:06human combustion.
24:08Padre, you won't smoke up my ass again.
24:11I told you, there's no such thing as spontaneous human combustion.
24:15Mikey, liar, liar.
24:19Pants on fire!
24:33You see, not only does Mikey get spiritual guidance from yours truly,
24:39I light a fire under his ass too.
24:45It's burning my flesh!
24:57My name is Paul Heyman, and I'm the executive producer and the owner of Extreme Championship Wrestling.
25:03And since this show apparently is going to make air this week, I'd like to take this moment
25:08to thank you for watching the ECW.
25:10You have to be an ECW fan to watch this show because God knows the network has never put
25:15out one freaking commercial or one press release to let you know that we're here.
25:19But that's their scheme of things.
25:22You see, in just a few weeks, the network is gonna give a hundred million dollars to Vince McMahon
25:27like he needs it to replace us.
25:30In case they haven't thrown us off before then.
25:33And the fact of the matter is, we're not a publicly funded company like Vince McMahon or WCW.
25:39We survive or even thrive on your support.
25:44And for that, we thank you.
25:46Now in an industry where everybody wants to be real, and everybody wants to do a shoot,
25:50this my friends, is a shoot.
25:53We hate this stinking network.
25:55We hate their guts for abandoning us.
25:58We hate their guts for not supporting us.
26:00We hate their guts for not advertising us.
26:02And we hate their guts for not having the balls to throw us off the air.
26:07And just in case you're watching this, hey, network, I dare you to throw me off the air.
26:12Cuz I'm gonna break every rule that you put in front of me until you throw me the hell off
26:17the air.
26:18Now this, my friends, is a shoot.
26:21You better take that hundred million dollars that you're gonna give Vince McMahon.
26:26And you better spend it on a two-piece.
26:30Because I promise you, network, the world has just begun.
26:37Still to come, it's the rematch the network feared the most.
26:43Ryder defends the world television title against the Sandman.
26:53I'd like to take this personal time to say hello to all of my executive friends at TNN.
27:00The ones who have been incarcerated for smuggling underage farm animals across state lines for the purposes of sexual gratification.
27:10But at least, while they were doing it, they were safe enough.
27:13They only picked the calves that didn't kick back.
27:17Are you ready to throw us off the air yet, Pete?
27:24Steve Carino leads the network's big effin' deal and the ECW world television champion, Rhino to the ring.
27:39Rhino single-handedly destroyed the Sandman's family at Hardcore Heaven 2000.
27:48And the Sandman is looking for payback and the only ECW championship he has never won the world television title
27:58tonight here in Toledo.
28:08Take a look at the size of Rhino!
28:12Take a look at the size of Rhino!
28:30Here on TNN!
28:34And then, things went from bad to worse for Lori Fullington!
28:47And here in Toledo, things may be going from bad to worse for Carino and Rhino!
28:57Because while Sandman wants to win the world television title, what he really wants to do is decorate the walls
29:04with Rhino's brains!
29:07Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!
29:14Back to living dangerously, Rhino piledrove to Sandman!
29:19Lori Fullington was then gored through a table and sent to the hospital courtesy of Rhino!
29:30And you can bet the same images we are showing you fans here on TNN are flashing in the Sandman's
29:39mind and have been since March!
29:43His music has been playing for a little over a minute and he's already on his second beer!
29:51That's out here! That's not counting the 12th pack that I saw him take part in!
29:58In the back! His bladder is full of beer! His lungs are full of tobacco!
30:05And he may look like he's in pretty rough shape! But he's gonna take it to Rhino! And he's gonna
30:14take it out of Rhino's ass!
30:17Make no mistake about it!
30:20He's carrying a Singapore King! He's carrying a weapon! And he intends on using it!
30:45Take a look at that stare down!
30:51It was at Hardcore Heaven Live on Pay-Per-View on Mother's Day that Rhino destroyed the mother of Sandman's
31:00children and then put that boat through a table!
31:04Lori Bullington, the Sandman's wife, is now back in the hospital for the second time in three months! Courtesy of
31:14Rhino!
31:17Rhino! Look at the intensity on the Sandman's face! He took the Sandman's wife! The mother of his children!
31:27If I were the Sandman right now, I would beat the living daylights out of that son of a bitch!
31:34It's about time you show some compassion for someone else!
31:39Compassion and empathy! That's the mother of his children! Just think about poor Lori Bullington!
31:46And I'll tag it!
31:48Hack! Give Tyler his wringlet! Hack! Can you put the bedpan under my ass? Hack! I mean, jeez, it probably
31:58never ends!
32:03I mean, if Rhino did something like that to me, I'd have somebody beat him up! Like, Sandman for example!
32:13You're pointless made! Take a look at the face of the World Television Champion!
32:19Rhino does not fear the Sandman! Rhino does not fear any man walking the face of this planet as well
32:28he shouldn't!
32:29He's a juggernaut!
32:31I don't think Rhino fears any army on the face of this planet!
32:37And neither does the Sandman! If for no other reason, then the alcohol impairs his judgment!
32:44Rhino!
32:45Joey!
32:47Do you think Rhino took offense to anything I might have said about him getting his ass kicked?
32:54Because if he does, I'll take it back! I mean, Paul Heyman breaks all my material!
32:59Everybody knows I'm heavily coached! I mean, Bounce! Say something crazy!
33:05Go ahead, play past the heat, why don't you? You should be a booker someday!
33:11It's the American Dream Dusty Rhodes!
33:16And this may be a fair fight after all! The Sandman sweeps and misses and down he goes!
33:23And if Carino sticks his nose into this matchup, Dusty Rhodes will smack it clean off his face!
33:32Let's go!
33:34Rhino with the heavy right hand down between the eyes!
33:39Dusty Rhodes has bull-roped himself to Steve Carino!
33:45Sandman with an elbow!
33:48Peppering Rhino with lefts and rights!
33:52Carino trying to get the ring again, either to interfere or just to escape the American Dream!
33:59Rhino now thrown to the outside, the Sandman gets chased!
34:04And of course, Dusty Rhodes is out here to protect the back of the Sandman!
34:11Sure, Dusty Rhodes hates the network as much as anybody!
34:14That's not the reason!
34:16Dusty Rhodes has spent 30 years in the wrestling business!
34:21Whiskey Bent and Hellbound!
34:25I didn't know Dusty's rank!
34:29A table has now been thrown into the ring by the Sandman!
34:35Carino still being held at bay by the American Dream and a bull-rop!
34:41We've got both Champion and Challenger in the ring along with the table!
34:46And there's the bionic elbow on Steve Carino!
34:53Sandman face-first into the top turnbuckle!
34:57Trying to fight his way out of that corner!
34:59And doing a damn fine job of it!
35:03Sandman now pulling up!
35:12Takes Rhino over with the Heineken Rana!
35:21The Sandman now flattens that table!
35:24He's gonna pile-drive Rhino! Jack Victory now!
35:28Laid out Dusty Rhodes!
35:31The Sandman pile-drives Rhino!
35:34He's got Rhino beat! This may be it!
35:36We may be looking at the crowning of a new world television champion!
35:42Carino gets Kane!
35:45So does Rhino!
35:49And now the Sandman's looking for payback!
35:52And he catches Jack Victory as well!
35:58Rhino beats Sandman to the punch that time!
36:03And now the Sandman is being mugged!
36:07Mugged by Rhino and the rest of the network!
36:13The dream! The dream! The American dream!
36:16Dusty Rhodes is evening up the odds for the Sandman!
36:23And Dusty's gonna strangle Steve Carino!
36:27Steve Carino! Steve Carino! Steve Carino!
36:30Rhino with the double axe handle on Dusty Rhodes!
36:35And now it's three on two!
36:39This has turned into a street fight!
36:43A gang war!
36:44Pitting ECW against the oppressive network that is TNN!
36:51In comes the Japanese sponsor Tajiri!
36:57And it's three on three!
37:01And right now TNN is looking worse than the rest of its Friday night ratings!
37:09Steve Carino is tied to the Tree of Woe!
37:12Rhino is still hammering the Sandman!
37:15And Victory is tying Tajiri to the Tree of Woe!
37:21Rhino now pounding Dusty Rhodes! Tajiri is free!
37:25He's sprayed Jack Victory with the Green Mist!
37:29Tajiri ducks the clothesline!
37:35And spring elbow on the World Television Champion!
37:38It comes to US male Scotty Anton!
37:41Now it's four on three in favor of the network!
37:45R-E-R-E-R-E-R-E!
37:59Rob Van Damme never lost the World Television title!
38:03He handed it over to the network when the network threatened to pull ECW off of national TV!
38:10And at Hardcore Heaven live on pay-per-view!
38:13His former best friend Scotty Anton the US male!
38:18Caught Rob Van Damme to suffer his first walk in over two years!
38:24Rob Van Damme wants a piece of Rhino!
38:28He wants a piece of Scotty Anton!
38:31And he wants a chunk!
38:33He wants to take a huge chunk out of TNN!
38:36And here he comes!
38:40Down goes Jack Victory!
38:43Down goes Steve Carino!
38:47Rhino muscles Van Damme into the corner!
38:53Van Damme whipped into the other corner!
38:55Gets to put up in the face of Scotty Anton!
38:59Leaping side kick on Rhino!
39:02We've got Van Damme and Anton!
39:06What a roundhouse kick!
39:09And Van Damme is going for his five star frog splash!
39:15And the network just saved Scotty Anton!
39:26Van Damme will not stop until he has destroyed the network!
39:33And there's Jerry Lynn!
39:36Where does he stand in all this?
39:38Is he fighting on the side of ECW?
39:41Or is he fighting on the side of the network?
39:44Not for the new, epic show!
39:48Jerry Lynn could be the deciding factor in this world!
39:52He's fighting on the side of the investigatum.
39:52Tom Goe?
39:52Oh, he's fighting against him!
39:53When he comes against him!
39:54Gracias.
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