- 2 days ago
Category
š„
Short filmTranscript
00:00:06Hey, Mama, don't you treat me warm? I'll come and love your daddy all night long, all right.
00:00:12Hey, hey, huh, huh, all right.
00:00:20Come on, Mama, she's got my wings. She knows how to shake that thing, all right.
00:00:30Come on, come on, come on.
00:00:34Come on, tell your Mama, tell your father, I don't think they're the audience at all.
00:00:40Hey, honey, you don't think that.
00:00:42And there's one thing I can't stand, it's lazy boogers, especially fat lazy boogers.
00:00:47We'll have you fit for battle next time.
00:00:50Up, up, up! Get him up, up, up!
00:00:53Up! Up! Up! Up! Up! Up! Up!
00:00:58Up! Up! A- ź°ģø, a-aten-. Attention!
00:01:20I have come to kiss you good morning my sleepy ones oh dearie are you
00:01:32sleepy and deaf I am not hearing you well that's fine may I welcome you all back to a fresh
00:01:43beginning since the flowers of our forces are fit for battle and have gone from home on your
00:01:48heap we are left with the weeds who grew fat and rank and are no good to nobody weeds just
00:01:54like
00:01:54you don't despair we shall lick you all into shape screwing your mothy balls till we make you into
00:02:01men of pure steel we have lots of sweaty drill and pretty exercises which you love like your mama
00:02:08and if you don't love them you'll be right in V I'm waiting tell me tell me shit house what
00:02:18that's fine what have we got here I'm talking to you kidbag it's my shade shade you must think that
00:02:27I am a dumb dumb but why shouldn't I have a shade are you trying to take the piss with
00:02:31this thing
00:02:31but it isn't raining ah it's not an umbrella it's to keep the sun off me someone that's good give
00:02:37it to me here I've been told the sun's bad for me sir oh you'd melt and the iceberg turn
00:02:43into water
00:02:44no no sergeant I'll show you my chitty says I must shade myself oh you must must shade myself it's
00:02:49here
00:02:49are you squeezing the piss from your sergeant bringing your shitty chitty to me it's no joke it's from the
00:02:54doctor you're trying to pull the wool over my ass move left right left left right left and company
00:03:01hot so you'll see what happens to a fat flabby got who fools around and parade with a sun sheet
00:03:12and tries to take the piss with his chitty we shall march him his chitty and his sun shade
00:03:18and for taking the piss he will march with his sobbed arse till he shit out but sergeant
00:03:23try pulling the other one and follow me
00:03:25left right left right left right left right left right left right left you can't take the piss
00:03:49it's broke us I swear he was following me a moment ago he may have melted in the heat of
00:03:53the sun
00:03:54right get shut of that damn thing before I shove it up your ass it's not a contest for bathing
00:03:58beauties
00:04:01go
00:04:11check it out
00:04:15fall
00:04:15check it out
00:04:34Your eyes are like the stars in the sky, my peanut.
00:04:37Stop bullshitting, Ramit.
00:04:39No, why do you wound me, my guava?
00:04:41Are you not the world to me like an enormous coconut to me?
00:04:45I'm sick of crappy speeches.
00:04:46We're going to make arrangements to marry tomorrow.
00:04:48I don't think I wouldn't love to, my sweet passion fruit.
00:04:51But I have to break in my new recruits first.
00:04:53I'll show them what it is, the meaning of the iron rod.
00:04:57I have to make them full of groveling, show them big boss man is nuts up.
00:05:02By nine o'clock each night they are sound asleep, revitalizing themselves in the land of dreams,
00:05:07peaceful as a swarm of locusts.
00:05:09I see that my girls are all bunched up by eight.
00:05:11But of course it's very natural.
00:05:13Pretty girls always shoot.
00:05:15Vitamins is the thing that they need.
00:05:18Follow me, my leg.
00:05:19We will see young recruits of mine asleep dreaming so good, my hippopotamus.
00:05:30Oh, bloody hell.
00:05:32Attention!
00:05:35Two seconds, I want to see all you shits back in the women's quarters.
00:05:38Now move!
00:05:39You sluts are on double duties from now on.
00:05:42Move your backsides!
00:05:44How many times have I said keep your randy dandies under control?
00:05:47They'll have my girls pregnant before you can say French letter.
00:05:50And you'll be father to all of them.
00:05:51Get back! Get your fat gun back to your bunk! Move it!
00:06:01May I remind you, bankers' army training and disciplines what you're here for.
00:06:06Possibly you've already forgotten.
00:06:08Bad ladies are not for you.
00:06:11It's a military establishment, not a brothel.
00:06:16What vexes me most of all is that you held an unofficial arch here, but for some reason didn't dream
00:06:22of inviting your sergeant.
00:06:24Hmm.
00:06:24A man who loves you as much as he might his own dear children.
00:06:29But the party's not finished yet.
00:06:31Move your beds outside on the damn throat, and you can dance the night away until the sun rises.
00:06:38Passadoble!
00:06:41Come on, my beauties. You wanted to dance, so dance, but no kissing.
00:06:45Dance, get back. I want another passadoble.
00:06:48Point your toes forward and under. So pretty, so elegant.
00:06:51Just like the Mali. After two more hours, you will be professional.
00:06:56Can we get you grass guts? Cactus for your hair?
00:07:01No, no, not like that. No, no. Point the toes. I will show you.
00:07:09Run it! Over there, damn it!
00:07:13Attention!
00:07:16Left, right, left, right, left, right, huh?
00:07:19Captain, company is ready for inspection, sir.
00:07:22Damn it! Is this a bloody dancing academy or what, run it?
00:07:25No, Captain, sir. These recruits made an argy in their quarters,
00:07:28so I decided an excellent punishment would be a passadoble.
00:07:32Passa what?
00:07:33Passadoble, Captain! I'm sure you know it.
00:07:35Very good dance, similar to a mamba.
00:07:38Rabbit! Don't yell in this ear! I'm already deaf in the other!
00:07:41Yes, Captain!
00:07:45Rabbit! You're dabbling up the pole with this nonsensical tango!
00:07:47It's not a tango, Captain. I've already told you the passadoble.
00:07:51Tango is a sexy dance.
00:07:54The passadoble, you move the hips and arms like...
00:07:57Get this lot inside and control yourself!
00:08:00I'll end up in arms!
00:08:02Captain Fakir!
00:08:04Will you stop that?
00:08:09Curse me, Cactus Crabby's jockstrap!
00:08:12In two weeks, we start the big maneuvers.
00:08:14Camp Samantha and Camp Hessione will compete for the flag.
00:08:17I'm proud to say that for the past nine years,
00:08:19Hessione has been victorious due to fine leadership by Captain Shag.
00:08:22Nine times they've succeeded in capturing the flag.
00:08:24If the battle is won by Captain Shag...
00:08:26Organizing maneuvers is not a petty brawl!
00:08:30Dismissed!
00:08:31Yi-Yah!
00:08:42Look over
00:08:42here. Hey!
00:08:43Hey southern!
00:08:43Don't you
00:08:44know how to salute! Ge-ge
00:08:46-ge-ge-ge-ge-ge-ge-ge-ge-ge-ge-ge-ge-ge-ge-ge-ge-ge-ge-ge-ge
00:08:47-ge-ge-ge-ge-ge-ge-ge-ge-ge. Oh and salute!
00:08:52Bumbra!
00:08:52Go to the bathroom and wait there! Move!
00:08:57Raise 20. Forgive me.
00:09:00I'm in.
00:09:00One.
00:09:02Jelly! Tell somebody to bring double sandwiches!
00:09:04I'm so hungry, I'll waste away! Have the coffee!
00:09:07Right away, sir.
00:09:09Call this work! Lazy winters!
00:09:12What the hell are you doing?
00:09:13Captain, we've already cleaned your office. Doesn't it look nice?
00:09:15Shut your mouth!
00:09:16Move your great duck round the cannon 50 times!
00:09:19Move it! Move!
00:09:20Hey, man! Where are you going?
00:09:22Stand here! Go outside and find Ramit!
00:09:24Tell him to come over here!
00:09:25Move!
00:09:30Can't you look where you're going?
00:09:32I'm singing in the pouring rain
00:09:34My gosh, I really am, you know
00:09:37Singing in the rain
00:09:39A big glorious happiness once again
00:09:45Fuck you?
00:09:53Me here!
00:09:54I know!
00:09:55And I'm called?
00:09:56That old fuck here!
00:09:57I know they call me fuck here!
00:09:59Now I'm asking who you are!
00:10:01Ah, I'm the Huey fucker!
00:10:03Can't you see, kidbag, I'm in my tub
00:10:05And you're ruining my most pleasant pleasure!
00:10:08Douchey!
00:10:09I guessed I was!
00:10:10Then you're best to remove yourself before I come out and you'll end in your tomb!
00:10:13But the captain is yelling for you!
00:10:14I've come to tell you!
00:10:15It could be very important!
00:10:16My crikey!
00:10:18The army has mutinied!
00:10:20I don't know, sir!
00:10:21He just yelled for Ramit like a foghorn!
00:10:23Oh, for love's sake!
00:10:27Sergeant Ramit, sir, reporting to you!
00:10:29Ramit!
00:10:30I don't want to land in the shit and it'll be your life!
00:10:32Ramit!
00:10:33In two weeks we hold the maneuvers!
00:10:35Not again, captain!
00:10:36We've got to beat them this time, Ramit!
00:10:37The damned fuckers!
00:10:38Ramit!
00:10:39This is our last damp time!
00:10:41Your last chance, dear!
00:10:42We must capture that damp flag!
00:10:44Your cushion number has ended!
00:10:45And I, personally,
00:10:47I'll see that you shovel out shithouses for the rest of your ruddy days!
00:10:51By God I will!
00:10:52I'm a very delicate disposition, I need clean air!
00:10:55That could easily kill me!
00:10:56As you know, captain, all of our best boys were posted last week!
00:10:59There's nothing but artists and young faggots left!
00:11:01You'll follow my orders!
00:11:03Beginning with, all leave, stop!
00:11:05We're not giving in!
00:11:06Till the shot to hell!
00:11:07My company's got to win!
00:11:08We must drill!
00:11:09We must drill!
00:11:10Understand?
00:11:10Yes, captain!
00:11:11Dismissed!
00:11:12Very good, captain!
00:11:12Move!
00:11:13Whatever you say, fuck off!
00:11:15Don't stand!
00:11:16Drill!
00:11:20Attention!
00:11:21Stay down!
00:11:22Peace!
00:11:25These cementaclots are raping mad!
00:11:27They believe you're a load of crap!
00:11:30Have any of you a suggestion about how we should fix them?
00:11:33We'll have the guts for gathers!
00:11:35And should they haul them off?
00:11:37We'll bust the running balls!
00:11:38We'll bust the running balls!
00:11:39That's fine!
00:11:42Blizzard!
00:11:45Heart!
00:11:47From now on, this is no rest home for tired old rankers!
00:11:51You will now become strong with the jaw bone of an ass!
00:11:56Be quite sure, the drilling we have in store you'll be loving very much!
00:12:01Just like the monarch of England said!
00:12:05Get back!
00:12:05Get back!
00:12:06Don't look down or you'll faint!
00:12:07Jump!
00:12:08Go on!
00:12:09It's easy!
00:12:10Jump!
00:12:10Get back!
00:12:11Can't you jump just to please your sergeant?
00:12:14It's easy if you don't look down!
00:12:16I won't pay you!
00:12:18That's fine!
00:12:19I'll make a better trooper of you yet!
00:12:21Ha!
00:12:22Ha!
00:12:24Ha!
00:12:26Ha!
00:12:27Ha!
00:12:27You're really beautiful!
00:12:30However boys, some of you may feel tired!
00:12:35Maybe just a little under the weather, cock!
00:12:39If so, he may raise his hand for time off to see the doctor!
00:12:43How many passes do you want?
00:12:44Two, two!
00:12:44How many to you?
00:12:45Five!
00:12:46Here!
00:12:48I'll take two!
00:12:49Here!
00:12:49Who's next?
00:12:50Ah, yes!
00:12:52What's your name?
00:12:53Huey, sir!
00:12:54Frank?
00:12:55Private!
00:12:56Okay, take a chair!
00:12:57Where to, sir?
00:12:58Soldier, don't piss about!
00:12:59I said take a chair!
00:13:00Where to, sir?
00:13:01When I say take a chair, I mean take a chair!
00:13:04Why are you standing there?
00:13:05Take a chair, you lumpkin!
00:13:06Yes, but where?
00:13:07There!
00:13:08Now look!
00:13:09When I say to you, please take a chair, put it in other words, will you park your big
00:13:14ass?
00:13:15Yes, doctor!
00:13:16What's the problem?
00:13:18Uh, I've been overdoing it!
00:13:20Anything special?
00:13:21I can't say, sir!
00:13:22Oh yeah?
00:13:23Just answer me, yes or no!
00:13:26Yes!
00:13:26Where does it hurt?
00:13:27It hurts all over!
00:13:30Did you eat dinner last night?
00:13:32You bet I did!
00:13:33Now listen, soldier!
00:13:34Just answer, yes or no!
00:13:37Yes!
00:13:38Did you go today?
00:13:39I've not gone home for over three weeks!
00:13:41Soldier!
00:13:42I'm not talking a vacation!
00:13:44I wanna know the last time you shit!
00:13:46Okay!
00:13:46Yes, I went to the shithouse!
00:13:48And was it easy?
00:13:49Uh, shitting in that place is always a little difficult!
00:13:52Now listen, dammit!
00:13:54Don't you fuck me about!
00:13:55Get on the bed and take your shirt off!
00:13:58Now!
00:14:00We'll soon see if you're sick or just another bloody skyver!
00:14:09There!
00:14:11Does that hurt?
00:14:12Some!
00:14:12Soldier!
00:14:13You are forgetting I told you to say yes or no!
00:14:17Yes or no!
00:14:18It might just help me if you'd say yes or no!
00:14:22Yes or no!
00:14:23Oh, I see!
00:14:24We've got a fat joker here!
00:14:26Lie on your belly!
00:14:27Doctor, I didn't mean the joke!
00:14:28Too late!
00:14:29On your belly!
00:14:30Take off your pants and I'll show you how I deal with jokers!
00:14:44Get your underpants down!
00:14:46But doctor, I'm okay!
00:14:48Down, I said!
00:14:50Leave them there now!
00:14:51Oh, but doctor, I've recovered completely!
00:14:54No doubt you have, my joker!
00:14:56We'll soon remedy that!
00:14:58But doctor!
00:14:59Try to relax!
00:15:01It won't hurt!
00:15:03Not much, anyway!
00:15:09Yes?
00:15:10Olga?
00:15:13What do you mean he's bathing in the washing machine?
00:15:16Take him out immediately and give him a good whiz around the spin dryer!
00:15:26He's a shit-shit-shitbag-bag-chick-shitbag-he-he's-he's-he's-he's tricked us!
00:15:31What do you mean?
00:15:32My word is my bond!
00:15:34Come on, you guys!
00:15:34We've got company!
00:15:36Oh, wow!
00:15:37Here, guys!
00:15:38That's it!
00:15:39This is free!
00:15:42Come here!
00:15:43Come here!
00:15:45Hold that!
00:15:51You're the nymphos, man!
00:15:53A little drop of this!
00:15:55What?
00:15:55What is this?
00:15:56Be-be-be-be-belzine?
00:15:57Not at all!
00:15:58It's the best thing I know after Spanish flag, we're getting them to strip off!
00:16:01Just one drop of this, they're all yours!
00:16:04Right!
00:16:04Come on!
00:16:06Okay!
00:16:07A Huey cocktail just for you!
00:16:09Cheers!
00:16:09Thanks so much!
00:16:12Cheers!
00:16:14Bottoms up!
00:16:23How about another one?
00:16:24It's strong!
00:16:29There! There! There! There! They're both! There! They're both!
00:16:32Not at all! They're waiting for you!
00:16:33But quick! No!
00:16:34It's here!
00:16:35Move it!
00:16:36Move it!
00:16:56What's this kidbag? What are you trying to play at?
00:16:59What do you mean, Sergeant?
00:17:00So what are you telling to me? What have we in this bed? You doing whoring?
00:17:04But that's not a whore. That's Danino, Sergeant.
00:17:06Danino?
00:17:09I'm telling you, kidbag, that's a whore there. Danino doesn't have the hair of a horse.
00:17:13But that's the point, Sergeant. It won't stop growing. It grows and grows. It's some disease.
00:17:17Making hair grow? Do you think it could be contagious?
00:17:19I wouldn't get too close if I were you.
00:17:21Oh, my lordy.
00:17:22There's another.
00:17:24That's Richard, a close friend of Danino's. He caught it bad.
00:17:27You mean it sprouts so fast?
00:17:28He looks like a monkey all the way down to his feet.
00:17:30You mean it's galloping, Arlo?
00:17:32He's got a beard on his belly.
00:17:33A nasty beard on his stomach. My god, that's a nasty, horrible thing to suffer from.
00:17:37I had better go and see the captain right away.
00:17:40I only hope it doesn't spread everywhere.
00:17:42Oh, fantastic.
00:17:44Come on, quick. We must get him out of here before the captain comes.
00:17:47Hurry!
00:17:48You get her feet.
00:17:49But, Captain, it's serious. I am convinced it's most serious.
00:17:52That'll be to whack me up.
00:17:54Oh, but it is, Captain. Danino, his head and stomach is like an orangutang, and Richard is like a small
00:17:59king.
00:18:00Come hurry, Captain.
00:18:02Come on, Captain. You'll see.
00:18:05Where are we?
00:18:06Where are who, Sergeant?
00:18:07No, no joking kidbag. I must find Richard and Danino.
00:18:10Has anyone seen Richard and Danino?
00:18:12Yes, I did, yes. It was, was we, we, we was, was in the c-c-cating.
00:18:16Not all at best. Ramit, you're delirious.
00:18:18But I saw them here like shaggy dogs.
00:18:20And you're like a mad dog. You've got hair on the brain.
00:18:23But, Captain, I swear my bollocks off. I saw them with my own eyes more hairy than a yeti.
00:18:29Ah, here comes the witch doctor. He knows all about the shaggy melody, the hairy boob.
00:18:34Ramit, I'll have you locked up. You're deranged.
00:18:37Maybe I am, Captain, but they know what I say is true.
00:18:40Please tell him it's true, and please tell the Captain about the dome.
00:18:43The horribly nasty disease where hair grows.
00:18:45Ramit?
00:18:46Uh-huh.
00:18:47Don't you fuck about with her.
00:18:48It grows all over here and here and here.
00:18:50Stop him. Can you stop him?
00:18:51Olga, will you stop butting in?
00:18:52Ramit, now don't play around with the tits until you've been introduced.
00:19:10Get the man locked up. I think it's time before.
00:19:14Oh, come down with you.
00:19:16Ramit, come here.
00:19:19Captain, sir. How's the bloody drill going?
00:19:22They'll be working their bollocks off from dawn till noon.
00:19:24Don't forget, the Assyonis are not fairies.
00:19:26We will win the day, I am confident.
00:19:27I am drilling our men into the ground.
00:19:29I keep them bouncing about the square ground and spinning around like yo-yo.
00:19:33Don't play kids games.
00:19:34I want the men up to scratch for their maneuvers.
00:19:37Yes, Captain.
00:19:37Out and one, two, three, and throw.
00:19:43Everyone hitting the ditch.
00:19:46Get back.
00:19:47You come and have a little try.
00:19:52Try to remember the sequence.
00:19:55My hand grenade is not a cuddly, furry little toy.
00:20:00Give it here.
00:20:01I'll show you how it is done.
00:20:03Oh, fuck it.
00:20:03I don't think it's going to work.
00:20:04Don't interrupt my lesson.
00:20:05Never contradict the commanding officer.
00:20:07It's very rude.
00:20:08Yes, but you've forgotten.
00:20:09Don't make me explode with this in my hand.
00:20:11Listen to what I have to say, you dumb dumb.
00:20:14Always remember one thing.
00:20:15It's a bomb, it's no banana.
00:20:17I will demonstrate once more.
00:20:20Remember, timing the throw is all supreme.
00:20:23All count in time along with me.
00:20:25And one, two, three, and throw.
00:20:30Now watch.
00:20:31I will demonstrate the most critical time of all.
00:20:35You are forced to take hold of the pin like so.
00:20:40Oh, naughty fuck it.
00:20:42Oh, damn bugger.
00:20:43I can't even move.
00:20:45I am paralyzed.
00:20:46I am surely in the shape.
00:20:48Oh, goodbye.
00:20:57All right, boys.
00:20:58Up, up, up, up, up, up, up.
00:20:59Come on, move it.
00:21:00Get back.
00:21:01Don't you know how to run?
00:21:02You must break your legs.
00:21:04Oh, oh.
00:21:04It is awful.
00:21:06Here, let me check.
00:21:08Your pulse is running like a camel.
00:21:10You are boiling hot.
00:21:12I don't feel a thing.
00:21:13Just stand still and don't move.
00:21:15Not a muscle.
00:21:15A commanding officer must take care of his men.
00:21:17Stretcher, bring it here.
00:21:22Enjoying your hammock ride?
00:21:23Get back.
00:21:23It's a bed of roses, sir.
00:21:25That's fine.
00:21:25I think this evening you can eat some curried rice.
00:21:29No, thanks, but a life would be nice.
00:21:30Oh, but certainly.
00:21:36Oh, you think you're fooling me?
00:21:38Better clean up your egg.
00:21:40Take a bath.
00:21:45And now we have the flower exercise for lungs.
00:21:48You take a deep breath and hold it for three minutes and don't let go.
00:21:52Ready.
00:21:53Breathe in now.
00:21:58That's fine.
00:22:03Bravo, Purvis.
00:22:10I heard you breathing.
00:22:11Aren't you ashamed?
00:22:12Oh, see, the flower has moved.
00:22:14Can't you just breathe in and hold on?
00:22:16No, Fred.
00:22:17I don't know how to do it.
00:22:18Then I can show you.
00:22:19The first duty of a commanding officer is to demonstrate.
00:22:22I'll demonstrate our little game.
00:22:24In three minutes, you'll see someday each of us has to face our own Bakerloo.
00:22:28You ready?
00:22:28Three minutes.
00:22:29All set.
00:22:30Breathe.
00:22:41Oh, only 20 seconds gone, sir.
00:22:50Oh, there's still another two minutes 20.
00:22:56No, it's fine, sir.
00:23:02You have another minute 50 to go.
00:23:10You have another minute 50 to go.
00:23:25You're dismissed, guys.
00:23:32Sergeant?
00:23:33How are you?
00:23:34Don't ask it back.
00:23:35I'm sick of the mungoes.
00:23:39What's wrong here?
00:23:40It's a head, doctor.
00:23:42It's spinning round and round.
00:23:44Mercy, doctor.
00:23:45That aspirin I gave you didn't help at all?
00:23:47It gave me gut ache, doctor.
00:23:48Well, then why not take the whole lot?
00:23:49That's what I did.
00:23:50You're a damn skiving fraud.
00:23:52Shame on you.
00:23:53Sir, once I suffered from a pain, you know, and the doctor here, he soon put a stop to it.
00:23:57Doctor, wouldn't your jiggery-pokery do the trick?
00:24:00I think it just might do the trick, soldier.
00:24:02Now, don't waste my time, sergeant.
00:24:03Get in there and get your pants off.
00:24:04One lid of them.
00:24:25Whoa!
00:24:26Captain!
00:24:27Why are you peering through keyholes?
00:24:28I wasn't peering.
00:24:29I was blowing dust from the keyhole.
00:24:36That's my bad head, Ramit.
00:24:38You're trying to knock me brains out?
00:24:39No need to worry, captain.
00:24:40Our doctor has a miracle cure for that problem.
00:24:44That's right, captain.
00:24:45I think I can put my finger on it.
00:24:46Go inside.
00:24:47I'll soon cure your headache.
00:24:53Get back.
00:24:54I'm telling you now, you mustn't pick.
00:25:00Get your finger out, give the son of a bitch the whole damn works.
00:25:03What?
00:25:04There's nothing but an arsehole, bandit!
00:25:07I'm an army!
00:25:07Do you give me liars, bastard!
00:25:10Power of your...
00:25:10Cook off the bloody red list of!
00:25:12I'm a newbie!
00:25:13I'm a newbie!
00:25:14I'm a newbie!
00:25:15I'm a newbie!
00:25:16I'm a newbie!
00:25:17I'm a newbie!
00:25:18I'm a newbie!
00:25:18I'm a newbie!
00:25:18I'm a newbie!
00:25:18I'm a newbie!
00:25:18What, Valin?
00:25:19The intelligence section waits your orders, captain.
00:25:22Sergeant, hope these buggers know what intelligence means, eh?
00:25:26You men are responsible for reporting all movements of the Sionis.
00:25:29Now move!
00:25:30Captain, right turn, by the left!
00:25:32Sergeant, aren't you going without something?
00:25:35Lost properly about time.
00:25:36Have you no sense of erection?
00:25:38Add the double, follow me!
00:25:40Hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup, hup.
00:25:42We'll move out at 2200 hours, spreading ourselves out in the field.
00:25:47By mauling, the stinking Samanthas will be surrounded.
00:25:49They'll hide the flag near the encampment that keep it on the move.
00:25:52I no doubt will knock the Samantha Milk-Sops out before the sleeps out of their eyes.
00:25:56Red Hill Rise will be our vantage point.
00:25:58We'll post units at Teddy Valley, Viaduct on the Knoll, and Valley Muzak.
00:26:03Sergeant, what's the plan after Red Hill Rise?
00:26:05The Viaduct on the Knoll?
00:26:07Oh, oh, no, no, no, no, no.
00:26:08Shut up on the Cleptrip.
00:26:10Write down the Viaduct on the Knoll.
00:26:11W-w-w-one moment.
00:26:12He said, Ch-ch-Cherry?
00:26:13But I heard him say Red Hill Rise.
00:26:15Just write down what I say.
00:26:16This is enemy territory, and we are the intelligence if they catch this.
00:26:19I heard him say Red Hill Rise.
00:26:21Strike it down at Gilpoint.
00:26:22I heard you say.
00:26:23Okay, men.
00:26:23Surround us.
00:26:24Then, then, turn the tree.
00:26:26What is it?
00:26:27Get your hands up.
00:26:28What is it?
00:26:29They've cracked our cover.
00:26:34Perhaps this example of our efficiency will convince that sop Fletcher he should be
00:26:38in a priory.
00:26:39I wish that I smoked.
00:26:40I don't like being a hero, but I got to.
00:26:43Get back, Purvis.
00:26:44Don't cry out.
00:26:45We will face our death bravely with a grin.
00:26:47And when tomorrow comes, they'll be calling us martyrs.
00:26:51Here's your boats.
00:26:54Mother, I beg for mercy.
00:26:58I didn't mean to be naughty boy.
00:27:00Don't I get a last request?
00:27:03I want a carrot bun.
00:27:04Let's get it over.
00:27:08I am dead.
00:27:10Mother, save me.
00:27:11They have killed me.
00:27:13I am dead.
00:27:14I am dead.
00:27:20Oh.
00:27:26Sergeant, I think we've managed to outwit them.
00:27:32Deary, deary me.
00:27:34Father and mother.
00:27:36Tell me, Kitbat, where the hell are we?
00:27:39I thought we were all dead, and how could they possibly have missed us?
00:27:43Shag played a trick on us, Sergeant.
00:27:48they dare to trick me haha i'll show them who's fooled who get back don't forget we are the
00:27:54undercover agents of our force and we know their plans we can now have them toasted like cheese
00:28:12rabbit come here left right left right left present sir what the hell are you doing in your
00:28:19underpants captain well after all we are your undercover agents i'm pleased to say that the
00:28:23mission's a success we brought you back the plans for shag's defense all their secrets yes captain
00:28:27and we shall as you say have them by ever ram it this is true and i have an idea
00:28:32even kid bug says
00:28:33that it's good i'll send an advancing party ahead a small unit which we will call our rose garden
00:28:38if that's a name you like sir and they'll report if they see any signs of an ambush out front
00:28:42well
00:28:42done ram it not before time there's another thing i've got to mention it's the night watch those
00:28:46damn gals fall asleep all the time and if i glimpse any of them falling asleep on duty you'll be
00:28:50done
00:28:50yes captain
00:28:51yes captain
00:28:55so
00:29:05so
00:29:30Soulja Boy
00:29:34Soldier boy, soldier boy, having sweet dreams, sweet dreams with silly snore, would you like
00:29:47a sweet curry, or would you prefer bread and skilly, can't you at least live to attention,
00:29:58that is no way to stand guard, guard attention, are you not feeling ashamed, sleeping loudly
00:30:21at top volume, no sir, not asleep, I knew you were checking, I was checking, you're checking,
00:30:25over what, I was checking, you're checking, I was double checking the whole system for
00:30:30efficiency, really, not only sleeping, but making a mock of me, I don't know what you
00:30:34are talking about, when I am talking, you are mocking my talking, I'm mocking the way you
00:30:38talk, yes, you're trying to talk like me, I'm not mocking your talk, I think you are trying
00:30:42to talk like me, my way of talking belongs to me, the way I talk is the way I talk,
00:30:46are
00:30:47you mocking the Parsi, I'm sorry sir, but I think you are mocking the Parsi, you are a Parsi,
00:30:52a real Parsi, I come from Ishvahan, brought up in the Punjab, the Punjab is it, interesting,
00:31:00interesting, and tell me, do you know Jakob Jakobian, but I can't believe it, do you know Rosa
00:31:07Bakashian, are you related to Rosa Bakashian, I'm her brother-in-law, I tell you Rosa Bakashian
00:31:13is now married to my favorite cousin, oh man, that's a fact, we're one and the same family
00:31:18then, but where have you been hiding, I just joined the squad a few months back, my dear child,
00:31:25how you've grown, my cousin's baby brother, let me welcome you to the squad, everyone
00:31:32take cover, can't you see where you're going, sorry captain, what's going on Boris, I don't
00:31:39know captain, was bringing your sub when I heard shots, where'd they come from, don't
00:31:43know, there may be dead captain Shegsler, you'll find out what it's all about, on the double,
00:31:46right away captain, Boris, didn't I cranky, they were attacked, didn't you hear the shots,
00:31:50oh, but that's already been dealt with, this brave young guard saved the camp, he was standing
00:31:55so close, he was almost killed, go on, tell the captain what you saw, captain sir, I was
00:31:59pretending to sleep, but I was really checking, that's when I heard the shots, a dangerous
00:32:03position to be in, suddenly a bullet passed him like a rocket close to his head, it could
00:32:07have scarred his face, yes, I could have been blinded, am I hearing, I'm a little worried,
00:32:12I'm hearing buzz, buzz, Robert, why is he talking like you, have you been giving language lessons
00:32:17or what, now please captain, let me explain the situation, this brave young guard here,
00:32:22he is the brother of my nice friend, Malka, sister to Jakob, Jakob, you're my favourite
00:32:26cousin, and what's more, he's the brother-in-law to Rosa Bakashian, who's married to his favourite
00:32:31cousin of mine, I haven't seen him since baby days, now you get the picture, captain, I've
00:32:36never hurt such a load of rubbish in all my life, no wonder the army isn't what it was,
00:32:40we need soldiers, not dancers, captain, sir, stop behaving like a puppy, yes, captain,
00:32:47could someone only make him mute it, but it will come to attention, attention, left, right,
00:32:59left, right, left, right, left, mark time, so, company, halt, captain, all set, number three,
00:33:06company reporting for inspection, sir, very good, such a major, company three, attention,
00:33:12captain, captain, captain, sir, they're already at attention, I can see, rabbit, I have eyes,
00:33:18captain, sir, now you lot, now once more again, very important guests will arrive, the commander
00:33:24supreme, international forces, from Switzerland, with his assistant, they'll be observing us,
00:33:32on parade, and field manoeuvres, see the him in his nest, dead treated proper right,
00:33:38.
00:34:07.
00:34:23Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:34:38Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:35:16Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:35:30Oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:35:57Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:36:24Oh, oh, oh.
00:36:38Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:36:57Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:37:25Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:38:23Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:38:37Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:38:54Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:38:54Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:38:54Come to the arms of your loving cobra, like strawberries and cream, Samson and Delilah, I like your...
00:39:15What's wrong? Now, now, I want it now.
00:39:19I'll fix it. I'll soon fix it.
00:39:23I have a curry mixture to bathe.
00:39:25Oh, good.
00:39:26Excuse me. I'll be back in a minute.
00:39:29Oh, dearie. My pop-up won't pop up.
00:39:33Oh, dearie.
00:39:37It's all shriveled up.
00:39:38Come, sugar. Come, sugar.
00:39:41I'll come soon. Just a little change in the schedule.
00:39:45It's like a prune. Perhaps I can blow it up.
00:39:48My balloon, I think, has bursted.
00:39:53It isn't fair. Oh, please. I'll be a good boy.
00:39:57I'm ready now.
00:40:01Oh, yes.
00:40:03Oh, darling, prepare. Now is the art.
00:40:10I can't stand this. I am null and void. I'll kill that Boris. His bromide has taken my penis away
00:40:16from me.
00:40:18Bastard! Excuse me. That Boris has killed me with bromide.
00:40:23Is there right where you are? I'm coming back in a second.
00:40:26Oh, a second.
00:40:27Excuse me, sugar cane. I won't leave you alone too long.
00:40:31A little rest for my gadget.
00:40:33To think Ramit couldn't Ramit. I have never suffered shame like it.
00:40:37Ramit?
00:40:38That's all I need now, the dinosaur.
00:40:40Ramit, what's with the smellies and gramophones?
00:40:42I've been searching for you at your party for the last couple of hours.
00:40:44Try pulling the other. You can't see that big-titted blonde asshole.
00:40:48You're most unloving towards our friends from abroad.
00:40:50This perfume you call smellies are for you alone, my Laiji.
00:40:53Okay, I'm in the mood, Ramit. Your perfume's got me going.
00:40:55I'll take you on 15 times.
00:40:57Oh, you see, I've been searching about for hours. I'm kaput.
00:40:59And because of that, I may not last long.
00:41:01Hello. A window cleaner.
00:41:07What's your name?
00:41:09Name?
00:41:10Introduce yourself.
00:41:12Intercourse?
00:41:12Of course.
00:41:14I'm Huey.
00:41:15I'm Huey.
00:41:16Ah, come Huey.
00:41:18May her not sing.
00:41:41My God, Robbie, are you boldly?
00:41:43I wasn't, you know.
00:41:44I'm ready for that.
00:41:44You look spurtous.
00:41:45Wait a minute.
00:41:46Where's your pass?
00:41:47I lost it.
00:41:48What?
00:41:49No, it's about business business.
00:41:50Who's next?
00:41:51Give me a pass.
00:41:52Go on, get out of here.
00:41:56I'm the first.
00:42:02You're loving me!
00:42:14Danino, now see you put plenty bromide in that concoction.
00:42:17I don't want any trouble now.
00:42:23Excuse me, General, I don't understand what you're saying.
00:42:26Get back.
00:42:26Are you familiar with the General's tongue?
00:42:28No, Sergeant, but Purvis is a man of many tongues.
00:42:30Purvis, put your best foot forward.
00:42:35Now politeness is the word.
00:42:37Herr Kramir is our greatest ally.
00:42:39Ask him nicely what he means.
00:42:42Herr Kramir, what hast du gesagt?
00:42:47I must go in private.
00:42:49Transit, please.
00:42:50What is he to say, sir?
00:42:51I'm a little full.
00:42:54Could be a stomachache.
00:42:57Would he like to soothe it with custard and bananas?
00:43:00Do you want custard and bananas?
00:43:03Oh, nein.
00:43:04Das ist ein S.O.S.
00:43:06What's that?
00:43:07Attention!
00:43:08S.O.S.
00:43:08Have the bog all fresh and tipped up.
00:43:11Give the commander some smelly salts and lysol.
00:43:13Purvis, lead on to first-class retreat.
00:43:16Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:43:17Come, sir.
00:43:18Please.
00:43:23Please.
00:43:32Oh, dearie me.
00:43:35Is leaving for us the golden trail?
00:43:37Oh, dearie.
00:43:54Come in.
00:43:55Oh, dearie, come in.
00:43:56Come in.
00:43:56Come in.
00:43:56Piss off you lot.
00:43:57Let me handle this, okay?
00:43:59Please.
00:44:00Please.
00:44:01Shh.
00:44:02Shh.
00:44:04Shh.
00:44:04Shh.
00:44:04Shh.
00:44:05Come in.
00:44:06You're looking for Colonel Kramir?
00:44:07Curly, you will come later. Come, come.
00:44:11Don't you remember me?
00:44:13What's your name?
00:44:15Name? The intercourse man.
00:44:17Huey.
00:44:18Oh, Huey.
00:44:21Huey, ah, Huey.
00:44:24Huey.
00:44:26Huey, ah, Huey.
00:44:30Rabbit, other men all took ten.
00:44:32Sound asleep, Captain, for the last three hours.
00:44:34You realize the maneuvers start at dawn tomorrow?
00:44:36Fearing to get at them, Captain.
00:44:38You've only to say go.
00:44:40Good. We'll show the colonel the plans
00:44:42and then get an urbanized arse.
00:44:46Quick, my boss is here.
00:44:56Now, this is the layout of the land.
00:44:58That fool shag doesn't realize that I know he plans to ambush us
00:45:01between Red Hill Rise and Verdict on the Nome.
00:45:03Excuse me, Captain. It's the other way around.
00:45:05Red Hill Rise is on the far side
00:45:07and Viaduct on the Nome is the nearest.
00:45:08That's what I was saying.
00:45:09Sorry, Captain.
00:45:10The sergeant will lead his forward unit to this point here
00:45:13and I'll be in the radio van at this point.
00:45:16Red Hill Rise.
00:45:17My god, Captain, you're mistaken.
00:45:18Red Hill Rise is the other hill, surely.
00:45:20That's what I said.
00:45:21Captain.
00:45:21The sergeant's advance unit will be known as the Rose Garden.
00:45:24And there'll be many thorns in our Rose Garden.
00:45:27We're not discussing gardening, man.
00:45:28Our main unit will wait by the ravine in Valley Muzak.
00:45:31Who is this valley?
00:45:32Too sad.
00:45:33Not a valley too sad.
00:45:34Valley Muzak.
00:45:35In case of a cock-up,
00:45:37all of our men will retreat to this hidden valley here.
00:45:40Please come.
00:45:47These are the charts worked out on logistics.
00:45:55Lordy, help me.
00:45:56He'll catch pneumonia dressed like that.
00:45:58Why are you in your underclothes?
00:46:00Sir, some undercover work.
00:46:02Yo.
00:46:04I'll give you a little cover.
00:46:05Get out of here.
00:46:07Get out of here.
00:46:07Get out of here.
00:46:08Get out of here.
00:46:13Now, my fighting cockerels.
00:46:15You're already untrained for the fighting arena.
00:46:19This is your moment for great glory and advancement.
00:46:23In exactly three hours from now,
00:46:24we go out and slay the dogs.
00:46:26I have all faith in you.
00:46:28We'll show those shaggy dogs
00:46:29that the Samantha wolves have teeth.
00:46:32We'll have them running around in circles
00:46:34crying for their mama as we tear the pants of their ass.
00:46:37Get back.
00:46:38Yes, Faki.
00:46:38Got them up, save and sound?
00:46:39I have, sir.
00:46:41Hold them fast.
00:46:42Our very lives depend on you.
00:46:43They're much more precious than gold.
00:46:45Purvis?
00:46:46Yes, yes, yes, yes, Faki.
00:46:48The radio is in your charge.
00:46:50Yes, it is.
00:46:52Thank you, Purvis.
00:46:53Nothing bad will be enough.
00:46:56That's fine.
00:46:58Care shall be taken to keep in touch.
00:47:00This process is called incommunication.
00:47:04You will all say...
00:47:06Communication.
00:47:08Communication.
00:47:08Now behold this little hootard.
00:47:09The minute I blow on it,
00:47:11it goes hoot, hoot.
00:47:14That moment you will become like giants,
00:47:16filled with hate for the Hesiones.
00:47:18Steal your muscles,
00:47:19cuss them into powder
00:47:20till they beg mercy on us,
00:47:21and we will win that bloody flag today
00:47:23if it kills us.
00:47:28Forward, forward, forward, once more into the breach.
00:47:31This is the hour, this is the hour,
00:47:33the enemy of all night flies.
00:47:36All men and officers under my command,
00:47:39I want you to listen to me carefully.
00:47:41The time has come at last
00:47:43to put all your hard training into practice.
00:47:45When I say move out,
00:47:46that'll be the onset of military maneuvers
00:47:48between Camp Samantha and the rivals Hesiones.
00:47:50In every case,
00:47:52you should remember the famous motto,
00:47:54go out and be a worthy man.
00:47:56Best of luck.
00:47:57Now move out.
00:48:01And how will we boys salute them?
00:48:04With our bandits!
00:48:05We'll shove them up where?
00:48:07Right up their asses, sir!
00:48:09That's fine!
00:48:10Samantha!
00:48:12Who are the boys to fight?
00:48:14Samantha!
00:48:16Samantha!
00:48:17Samantha!
00:48:18Samantha!
00:48:20Yay!
00:48:22Samantha!
00:48:23Where has he on his rotten sheep?
00:48:25Lying around in a drunk and eat!
00:48:27Will we kiss their smelly feet?
00:48:29Now we will crush their balls to cream!
00:48:31Who's the first and best?
00:48:33Samantha!
00:48:35May the rest be damned!
00:48:37Samantha!
00:48:38And what are the other lot like?
00:48:40They're crawlers, sir!
00:48:42They're crawling with what?
00:48:43Crawling with bucks and lice!
00:48:45That's fine!
00:48:51Boomer!
00:48:52Get me that Rose Garden shower!
00:48:54Calling Rose Garden, Woah
00:48:55Are you receiving me?
00:48:57Come in
00:48:58Rose Garden, calling rose garden,
00:49:00Are you receiving me?
00:49:04There's interference on the line.
00:49:08Rose Garden, Rose Garden,
00:49:09Come in, over!
00:49:10Stop gabbling like a turkey. Give me the microphone.
00:49:15Rose Garden to Sonny Boy. Rose Garden to Sonny Boy.
00:49:18It's tea break here, but not for long.
00:49:21Myself and our lads are in good form.
00:49:23Lookouts are soon being deployed.
00:49:25As yet, the enemy has not been sighted.
00:49:28We're two kilometers from the ship land bog.
00:49:30We'll finish our rest back here in Broken Bridge, sir.
00:49:34Don't be a silly ass, run it.
00:49:36Even the walls of ears.
00:49:38Now you've told them exactly where you are.
00:49:40Let them hear everything, sir. That's the strategy I'm using.
00:49:44They'll get a surprise when they arrive at Broken Bridge, sir.
00:49:47Have the boys entrenched up at the back of Bougie Lane.
00:49:51Good work, run it.
00:49:52Now find out if Route 7's all clear.
00:49:54I'll have it checked out immediately. Get back.
00:50:02You're already, Sergeant?
00:50:03Now you see that tower. You and Purvis climb up and see if Route 7 is clear of enemy units.
00:50:09Get moving.
00:50:10Up.
00:50:15Think beautiful thoughts, my children, and you will float towards heaven.
00:50:21Or you could put on your parachutes and I'll blow you up.
00:50:26Now look towards Route 7. Is there any sign of the enemy?
00:50:31I can see nothing, Sergeant.
00:50:33Oh, my. The mist is thick up there.
00:50:35I haven't got the field glasses.
00:50:37I wonder where they could be.
00:50:39I must ask you to look down, Sergeant.
00:50:41That so?
00:50:44Oh, that's okay.
00:50:45I have them safely here. Don't worry.
00:50:48Could you possibly bring them up to us, Sergeant?
00:50:50Not upon a wishbone.
00:50:52Why not, Sergeant?
00:50:53I'm a giddy little goose.
00:50:54If I'm just standing on tiptoe, my heart starts going to it, too.
00:50:57What's the next step, Sergeant?
00:50:59Order young Purvis to come down here.
00:51:01No, but I'm... I'm...
00:51:02No, Purvis, that's the most cowardly behavior.
00:51:04You must obey an order.
00:51:06Okay, but I'm... I'm... I'm...
00:51:08But... but... but... why... why me, sir?
00:51:09You want your freely parachute?
00:51:11Go on.
00:51:18Shag's company, too, here.
00:51:20Under camouflage, standing by route number seven.
00:51:23Over.
00:51:23Receiving you loud and clear.
00:51:25Receiving you loud and clear.
00:51:27Don't move from the spot until the enemy finally arrives.
00:51:31I want those sons of bitches from Samantha Court.
00:51:33Out.
00:51:35Jelly, contact Robbie.
00:51:36Right away, sir.
00:51:37Calling Rose Garden.
00:51:38Rose Garden, do you read? Over.
00:51:40Don't you stand there, can't you hear?
00:51:42The captain is trying to contact us on the radio.
00:51:45Yep.
00:51:46Kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick, kick.
00:51:49Well, what's going on?
00:51:50We seem to be having interference on the line again.
00:51:53Then clear it.
00:51:53I've got to keep in touch with the field.
00:51:55Calling Rose Garden.
00:51:56Calling Rose Garden.
00:51:57Are you receiving me?
00:51:58Repeat.
00:51:59Are you receiving me?
00:52:00Rose Garden.
00:52:00Give it to me.
00:52:01Give it to me.
00:52:03Hello?
00:52:04This is Rose Garden.
00:52:05Rose Garden to Sonny Boy.
00:52:07What news of Route 7?
00:52:08Just checking one minute, sir.
00:52:12Take the glasses.
00:52:15Get yourself up there at the gallop.
00:52:17At the gallop?
00:52:18No, no, no, hardly for you, sir.
00:52:20I was giving a bollocking to our radio operator, sir.
00:52:22Stop driving me bonkers and tell me if Route 7's clear.
00:52:25Don't shout, I'll fall.
00:52:27Oh, kick back.
00:52:28Is Route 7 open or what?
00:52:33Answer, you fool.
00:52:37Observation tower answering.
00:52:38Route 7 seems all clear.
00:52:40That's fine.
00:52:41Hello?
00:52:42This is Rose Garden here, sir.
00:52:44Departing that the Route 7 is clear, sir.
00:52:46Superb.
00:52:47Superb.
00:52:47My congratulations.
00:52:48Thank you very much, sir.
00:52:49Just double checking now.
00:52:51It's clear as the eye can see, sir.
00:52:53Get the troops on the move right away.
00:52:55Excellent work, Sergeant.
00:52:56I'm leaving the rest to you.
00:52:58Keep checking.
00:52:58Yes, Captain.
00:53:00Pansy Force, Pansy Force, this is your captain.
00:53:03Divert the troops to Route 7.
00:53:04All troops take Route 7.
00:53:06It's clear of the enemy.
00:53:15Forward men.
00:53:16Get out.
00:53:17Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:53:19Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:53:19Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:53:20He lost us our Pansy Force.
00:53:22On earth could that be, sir?
00:53:23The route was clear we saw with our own eyes.
00:53:25Kidbag even double-jected on our map, sir.
00:53:28Kidbag, bring that map here.
00:53:33This is not the map, you idiot.
00:53:36The others blew away.
00:53:38This map's the only one we've got left.
00:53:40This covers the whole of Europe, you stupid fool.
00:53:42We're not invading Europe, you know.
00:53:46Ramit, I want to transfer the girls the Cherry Valley.
00:53:50What's the situation there, eh?
00:53:52Receiving you this is Rose Garden.
00:53:54We will check immediately, sir.
00:53:56Get back.
00:53:58Barbas, you both follow close behind me.
00:54:01We will crawl along on all fives ready to pounce.
00:54:07Please come, Sugar.
00:54:09Like this.
00:54:12Pull yourself along and make sure you don't wear anything away.
00:54:23Now tell me, Kidbag, are you sure this is Cherry Valley?
00:54:29I know it well.
00:54:31As a child, I came up here for my vacation, sir.
00:54:33That's fine.
00:54:40This is Rose Garden's field sergeant.
00:54:42Rose Garden calling Sonny Boy.
00:54:44Cherry Valley is all clear, sir.
00:54:46Over.
00:54:46Message received.
00:54:47Pussy Willow, this is Sonny Boy.
00:54:49Over.
00:54:49Pussy Willow, Captain.
00:54:51Pussy Willow, Captain.
00:54:52Over.
00:54:52Proceed to Cherry Valley.
00:54:54Very good, Captain.
00:54:55Come, girls.
00:54:56Follow behind me in duck formation.
00:55:10Pussy Willow, Captain.
00:55:25Power.
00:55:27Pussy Willow, Captain.
00:55:31Pussy Willow, Captain.
00:55:31Pussy Willow, Captain.
00:55:31You can't.
00:55:37Don't surrender.
00:55:38Hold up.
00:55:39What the hell's going on?
00:55:41Let me out.
00:55:42Let me out?
00:55:43What are you doing?
00:55:44I'll kill you for this.
00:55:46Let me out.
00:55:47Let me down, you hoesionic sluts.
00:55:50Let me down from here.
00:55:51Grab it.
00:55:52We're a traveling disaster area.
00:55:54There's only you and this truckload left. All the other troops are lost.
00:55:57I'm gonna retreat, Ramit. Which road is safer? Three or five?
00:56:01One minute, Captain. I am double-checking.
00:56:04Get back. Get back, I'm talking to you.
00:56:07Can you tell me which route the Captain should follow? Three or five?
00:56:11Five will do.
00:56:12We're in a booby trap! All of you can't deny it for this!
00:56:18Purvis?
00:56:19Sir?
00:56:19What is this?
00:56:21Sir? Sir, I was doing pee-pee-pee-pee.
00:56:24Aren't you taught that's impolite, Purvis?
00:56:26When a soldier in the field wishes to go pee-pee, observe hygiene. Like I show.
00:56:33Follow me.
00:56:43When a soldier is out in the battlefield and needs to relieve himself,
00:56:47he must get very, very close to a bush.
00:56:51The more close he is to the bush, the healthier it is.
00:56:56Everyone get closer and watch the example of your sergeant.
00:57:00You too please come, Sugar.
00:57:10Hands up!
00:57:11You're captured!
00:57:12Hands up!
00:57:12Drop it!
00:57:14Oh, dearie me!
00:57:16Oh, dearie me!
00:57:16Oh, my lordy!
00:57:17Please don't surround me!
00:57:19I get claustrophobia, and if you are...
00:57:22Oh, save me!
00:57:23I promise you faithfully I never may have believed me!
00:57:27Can't stop moving me again!
00:57:29Please forgive me!
00:57:30I don't know what else!
00:57:31Oh, save me!
00:57:45Oh, save me!
00:57:46I am a sick man!
00:57:48I can't find life!
00:57:49Oh!
00:57:49Hands up, I said!
00:57:50Have mercy, please!
00:57:52I'll be demoted!
00:57:54I'll have to shove and shit!
00:57:56Oh, have mercy!
00:57:57I have a wife and small children, see?
00:58:00All this excitement might kill me!
00:58:03I suffer from this blood pressure!
00:58:05I'm a sick man!
00:58:07I might drop dead any second!
00:58:08That would be a tragedy!
00:58:10Take my gun!
00:58:12All I ask is my freedom!
00:58:14Please be gentle!
00:58:16Please be gentle!
00:58:16Please be gentle!
00:58:17Please be gentle!
00:58:17I have to go to a bar mitzvah tonight!
00:58:20Don't move!
00:58:21Pull up your hands!
00:58:23Don't move!
00:58:24Pull down your weapons!
00:58:25If you don't, we will shoot!
00:58:27How many of you?
00:58:28A big unit of men!
00:58:29With machine guns!
00:58:30And mortars!
00:58:31Shit!
00:58:32They got us surrounded!
00:58:33Raise your hands!
00:58:36Everyone lie face down on the ground!
00:58:39If not, I'll order the unit to open fire!
00:58:41Your aunt thought I was a fool!
00:58:43Get down when I tell you do!
00:58:46Hold your breath and count to a hundred!
00:58:51Five!
00:58:52Six!
00:58:53Seven!
00:58:53Eight!
00:58:54Nine!
00:58:55Ten!
00:58:56Eleven!
00:58:56Twelve!
00:58:57Ramit!
00:58:58Ramit!
00:59:01You'll be a shithouse wallop at all time!
00:59:04Ramit!
00:59:06Aargh!
00:59:07Ughh!
00:59:07Ugghh!
00:59:08Captain, we brought more prisoners!
00:59:09Shove them in the enclosure!
00:59:11This pretty boy as well!
00:59:12Of course!
00:59:13Herr Kommandant!
00:59:14Das ist eine schweinerei!
00:59:16Ich wĆ¼nsche United Nations!
00:59:17George, get this Mickey Mouse out.
00:59:24Where are we, Kitbag?
00:59:26I've got no idea, Sergeant.
00:59:27Oh, dearly me. I just hope there are no creepy crawlies around here.
00:59:31Maybe we should rest up a little, sir.
00:59:33No, it's forbidden. We must continue.
00:59:35Kitbag, would you give your kind Sergeant a piggyback?
00:59:39No, I can't, sir.
00:59:40Are you refusing an order?
00:59:42Of course not, sir. I've a chitty from the doctor.
00:59:44But maybe you could give me a piggyback?
00:59:46In no way, my whale meat. We're going up a hill.
00:59:49Besides, I am a weak man. My kidneys are bad.
00:59:52Kitbag, I am a man who's finished.
00:59:54In four hours, the maneuver is over and we will have lost again.
00:59:58Tomorrow morning, Fletcher will demote me to private in a shithouse wallop for all time.
01:00:02Great, then we can do basic training together.
01:00:04Don't talk nonsense, Kitbag.
01:00:05By the time I finish my basic training, I'll be ready for a pension.
01:00:09Did you hear that?
01:00:10What?
01:00:14Ow!
01:00:27Sergeant, this could be the answer.
01:00:42Hey, come back here! Come back!
01:00:53What's in the back, Sergeant?
01:00:54Looks like a concert party truck belonging to the Asione camp.
01:00:57Those shaggy dogs were already preparing a victory show, the damn clothes.
01:01:02Oh, hocus pocus, what's that, Kitbag?
01:01:05I don't know what's wrong, Sergeant.
01:01:06Oh, dearie me, Kitbag. Do something. We mustn't break down. Now, Kitbag.
01:01:14Sergeant, looks as though the engine's overheated.
01:01:17Oh, lordy. Give me a belt. I must have a belt. Kitbag, give me your belt.
01:01:23But why, Sergeant?
01:01:23I'm going to hang myself.
01:01:25No!
01:01:28Kitbag, come and give me a leg up.
01:01:30Oh, but, sir, it isn't worth killing yourself over such a whole thing.
01:01:33If I don't kill myself tonight, Fletcher is going to kill me tomorrow.
01:01:40Kitbag, will you hand me your belt now?
01:01:42No, I won't, sir. If you must have one, use your own.
01:01:45I thought you were my friend. If I hang myself with my belt, my pants will fall down.
01:01:49That would be most embarrassing for both of us.
01:01:51Okay, ma'am. Guard the prisoners and give them nothing to eat till morning.
01:01:55Kitbag. Quick, get yourself up here. Look over there.
01:01:59This dress should fit you.
01:02:06Good evening. My name is Delia. I wonder if you could help me.
01:02:09My mother and I have had an accident with a car. My mother has been injured.
01:02:13Where is she?
01:02:13Come and see. This way.
01:02:16Where does it hurt, ma'am?
01:02:18Right here.
01:02:22Okay, follow. Get back.
01:02:31What?
01:02:32I've got to find Fervis.
01:02:33I'll go get the car.
01:02:34Right, go now.
01:02:43Who's there?
01:02:44Call me Delia.
01:02:45Who are you talking to?
01:02:47Hello, boys.
01:02:48It's a chick.
01:02:49Say that again.
01:02:50Fancy a little fun, boys?
01:02:53But sure.
01:02:54Okay, one at a time. You come first.
01:03:03Come here.
01:03:04Want a kiss?
01:03:05Close your eyes.
01:03:09Brace yourself.
01:03:12That's one down.
01:03:13There's still another.
01:03:14Bring the other quickly.
01:03:15Hurry while I tie him up.
01:03:22Where's my pal gone to?
01:03:23He's going to get dressed.
01:03:25Come closer, my little soldier.
01:03:27Do you want a kiss?
01:03:28Close your eyes.
01:03:30Okay.
01:03:31Hey, what's this?
01:03:32I'll show you what.
01:03:32This is your dirty dog.
01:03:34Get him tied up, kidbag.
01:03:36And hide him in there.
01:03:42Quiet.
01:03:42Look, there's Fervis.
01:03:43Shh.
01:03:44Let's free him first.
01:03:48Farvas.
01:03:49Farvas, make him up.
01:03:50Yeah, I, I, I, I, I, I, I.
01:03:52My God, he even stutters in his sleep.
01:03:56The, the, the, the, fuck, fuck, fuck, yeah.
01:03:58The, the, the, the, kidbag, what would you address this?
01:04:01Shh, shh.
01:04:01We came to free you, you idiot.
01:04:03Now, in two minutes, I want you to free all the other prisoners.
01:04:07There.
01:04:07Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
01:04:09Shh.
01:04:09Get back and I are going to find the flag.
01:04:11Okay.
01:04:13Ah, yeah, it's for you, you quadhopper.
01:04:16Shh.
01:04:16Who put a foot in my gut?
01:04:17Sorry, doctor.
01:04:18It was an accident.
01:04:19Well, what are you doing in drag, damn it?
01:04:21Doctor, I told you before my name's Ramit.
01:04:23I know that, and you ought to be ashamed, you hussy.
01:04:26I've come to save you.
01:04:27Farvas, quickly free all the other prisoners.
01:04:29We're going to find the flag.
01:04:31Doctor, take this.
01:04:32Hurry now.
01:04:33All right, get me out of this, will you?
01:04:35Come on.
01:04:38What are you doing here, ladies?
01:04:39Well, we live in a village not far from here.
01:04:42We are crazy about you, soldier boy, so we were having a look around.
01:04:46Do soldiers tickle your fancy, too?
01:04:47I do like heroes.
01:04:48Well, you came to the right place to find one.
01:04:50Come into the tent, and we'll have a little party.
01:04:52No, no, we have to hurry home.
01:04:54No, don't worry about that.
01:04:55We'll drive you home later in the Jeep.
01:04:58Come in and have a drink.
01:04:59No, my mother is waiting for me.
01:05:02Oh, dear.
01:05:04Good.
01:05:05Right, we'll put some music on, and we can dance.
01:05:09What's your name?
01:05:10Ah, Delia.
01:05:12And your call?
01:05:13Susie.
01:05:14You came in a good time.
01:05:15In a few hours' time, the maneuvers will be over, and we'll be the winners.
01:05:19So we can start the party right here and now.
01:05:23Let's go.
01:05:43Hey, come on.
01:05:45Let's get those sons of bitches.
01:06:12When do we eat?
01:06:13I have meat.
01:06:16Come closer.
01:06:18Don't be fresh.
01:06:28Stop.
01:06:29Take this, you hessioni ratbag.
01:06:31Another down.
01:06:33Truss him up like a turkey.
01:06:39Mother warned me about men like you.
01:06:42Try this, you asshole.
01:06:44Oh, sweet dreams, turkey shit.
01:06:48Oh, look, he's in front of everyone.
01:06:50No problem, kid.
01:06:53Zorro.
01:06:55Zorro, take that old hang outside and leave me alone.
01:06:59Okay, Capitan.
01:07:01Come outside, sweetie.
01:07:02Outside, why?
01:07:04Capitan wants to be left alone with your friend.
01:07:06Oh, but...
01:07:08Zexy, come here.
01:07:09Now, take it easy.
01:07:10Why?
01:07:10Still shy, are you?
01:07:11I'm a little shy.
01:07:13We could put out the light, get undressed first, and then put it on.
01:07:16Bravo.
01:07:16I like a girl with some praise.
01:07:18Oh, now you're a real fast worker.
01:07:21You want to kiss me on the nail on the head?
01:07:27Damn chick, what sort of a girl does he think I am?
01:07:30Who am I?
01:07:31All the prisoners are freed.
01:07:33What about the rest of your knee soldiers?
01:07:34We, we, we, we, we've tied them all up, Paki.
01:07:37Are you naked, mate, Shadow?
01:07:38Ready, you can turn on the light.
01:07:41Taught you, my little light, you've fallen in battle.
01:07:44What's this about?
01:07:45You're now in our hands, you're our prisoner.
01:07:48What nonsense, just wait till my soldiers get out of you.
01:07:51Ah, your soldiers have all been tied up.
01:07:53They are prisoners too.
01:07:56Purvis, tie the shit.
01:07:59Now tell me where the flag is.
01:08:01I'll never tell you where.
01:08:02At midnight, the manoeuvre's in, but the flag stays with us.
01:08:04If you don't talk in two seconds, I'll shoot you.
01:08:07You can shoot me, but I'm not talking.
01:08:08I'll only tell you my serial number.
01:08:10Sergeant, why don't you cut his moustache off?
01:08:11No, he'd only faint and we won't find the flag.
01:08:14But that's one thing you'll never find.
01:08:16The flag stays forever with the Hessiones.
01:08:19Doctor, have you a drug to make the shag talk?
01:08:22I know something that's better than a truth drug to loosen the tongue.
01:08:25Well, it's old-fashioned, but it works.
01:08:29In one second, he'll talk his guts out.
01:08:31Purvis, turn him over.
01:08:34Let me go, you go!
01:08:36Huey, pull down his long john.
01:08:41Now, maybe you'll tell us.
01:08:43For the last time, where is the flag, Shag, and no lies?
01:08:46I'll tell my serial number, nothing else.
01:08:48It's 10, 27, 8, 48.
01:08:52Don't be funny, Shag.
01:08:53Last chance.
01:08:54Tell me where it is.
01:09:04Now you're ready to talk.
01:09:06I'll tell you where the flag is.
01:09:08I'll tell you, I'll tell you.
01:09:11Samantha, Samantha.
01:09:13Hey.
01:09:16Samantha, Samantha, Samantha.
01:09:18Samantha, Samantha.
01:09:19We've got the flag.
01:09:27I'll take that, Sergeant.
01:09:28Don't trouble yourself.
01:09:29No, it's all right.
01:09:30I'll get a good price for it.
01:09:47I'll get a good price for it.
01:09:52I'll get a good price for it.
01:09:55I'll get a good price for it.
01:10:00Blum it.
01:10:01You're done for this time.
01:10:02From tomorrow, it's the shithouse for you.
01:10:05That won't be necessary, sweetie.
01:10:07Because for once, we didn't lose.
01:10:09For as you'll see, the day is ours.
01:10:12Take a look there.
01:10:26You've got Shag.
01:10:28Whose unit's responsible for this?
01:10:29My very own unit, General.
01:10:32What unit is that?
01:10:33Troop Rose Garden.
01:10:49You prick, General.
01:10:51I am a tender-hearted man.
01:10:59Ramit, we get spliced tomorrow.
01:11:00It's not necessary, light cheese.
01:11:02You said after the training was finished.
01:11:04I read in the papers that most of today's marriages end up in divorce.
01:11:07It's not worth the effort in that case.
01:11:09A waste of money, you know.
01:11:10Ramit, I'll carry you to the altar.
01:11:12Get back.
01:11:13Come on, my retreat.
01:11:19She taught me to your Lord.
01:11:22You're Lordy.
01:11:24You're Lordy.
01:11:25You're Lordy.
01:11:28Lordy, Lordy.
01:11:29Lordy, Lordy.
01:11:31Lordy, Lordy.
01:11:37Lordy, Lordy.
01:11:39Lordy.
01:11:41Lordy.
01:11:42Well now I'm gonna teach you how to yodel just like me
01:11:46It's easy when you sing and you go yodel O-O-D
01:11:50First you take a deep breath and it's K-O-1-2-3
01:11:54Then you'll hear a yodlin' if you listen close to me
01:11:58Yeah, this is how to yodel, yodel O-D
01:12:01Yodel O-D, yodel O-D
01:12:05This is how to yodel, yodel O-D
01:12:09Yodel O-D, yodel O-D
01:12:13But I can only, only
01:12:18O-O-D
01:12:21O-O-L-E-Y
01:12:27O-D, yodel O-D
01:12:33Yodel O-D, yodel O-D
01:12:37I
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