Confronting the WORST drivers

Tiny Tim's Adventures

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Transcript

00:00Like a kinder.

00:01F***ing hell, mate!

00:02He's got his number on the side of the van.

00:04Get that number.

00:05Hello?

00:05Well, hi.

00:06You've just been driving and nearly crashed into my Uncle Barry's car.

00:11I don't think so, pal.

00:12So I got your number off the side of the van.

00:15I will be waiting to know how's your driving absolutely crap.

00:19Well, have you got cameras or anything, though?

00:20Yeah, I've got a dashcam.

00:21Right, sure you do.

00:22I tell you what, mate. I've got a dashcam as well.

00:24Yeah, and you'll see that you nearly crashed into us.

00:27Right, one second.

00:28No, it approves, it approves.

00:29Hello?

00:30Hello?

00:31Right, shut up.

00:32You just nearly crashed into us, then.

00:33That was my lad just speaking to you, then.

00:37Why are you talking to him like that?

00:39You just nearly crashed into us.

00:40I've crashed into you.

00:42You just nearly crashed into us.

00:43No, I haven't.

00:44Yes, you have.

00:44No, I haven't. What are you chatting for?

00:46Yes, you have.

00:48Right, where was this, then?

00:49That was in Northern Quarter in Manchester.

00:51You've just passed us.

00:53I'm in the grey jag.

00:54You've just nearly crashed into us.

00:56Oh, right. Oh, you've got to bring me the jag and the jag into it, have you?

00:59Nah, right, sure.

00:59Yeah, they have, yeah.

01:00I know your type.

01:01My type.

01:02Do you know how to drive?

01:04Obviously not.

01:04Where are you now, then?

01:05Where are you now?

01:06We'll come and have a chat.

01:07Why, do you want to go and have a chat?

01:08We'll have a chat.

01:09Rather than being over the phone, you think I'm just bringing that I've got a jag into it,

01:13you know my type.

01:14I'll come and see you.

01:14Tell me where you are now.

01:15I'll work.

01:16I'll come and see you.

01:17I can **** your head and I can go home and have my tea.

01:19How's that?

01:21I'd like to see your tripod.

01:22I'll just levy you.

01:23No, you won't, lad.

01:24Shut up.

01:25Have you heard your little head?

01:26Why did you just nearly crash into me?

01:28I know I didn't.

01:30Yes, you did.

01:31Where are you now?

01:32I'll come and see you.

01:32I told you I'm on my way to Wimington.

01:34Right, I'll see you in Wimington in about 15, 20 minutes.

01:37Right, sure you will.

01:38So who's took on the number down?

01:39My lad's just took your number down.

01:41Come here.

01:42I took your number down.

01:44I took your number down.

01:45I took your number down and then it was just ringing in and out because we took your number down.

01:50Right, put your dad back on it.

01:51Oh, I wonder that.

01:52What?

01:52Right.

01:53So, and what?

01:54And what?

01:56You don't even know what you're saying, mate.

01:57Listen, lad, there'll be two hits, me hitting you and you hitting the floor, so shut your mouth.

02:01Brilliant.

02:02That's a good one.

02:03Where'd you learn that one?

02:04Get that off a lollistic, yeah.

02:06Yeah, yeah, sure it was, mate.

02:08Sure it was.

02:09Nice one.

02:09Why don't you practice in driving rather than delivering?

02:13Practice driving, yeah?

02:14I'm bored of this now.

02:15You're finished, yeah, so I can get home with the rest of me day.

02:18You're going to try and crash into more people, yeah.

02:20No, I'm going to do me job like a normal person, like a person who actually has to graft for

02:23the work rather than just living off the parents' dough.

02:25So what?

02:25I've earned it myself, mate.

02:27You've got some more big.

02:27Mate, I've earned to drive this Jaguar.

02:30I bring happiness to people every single day.

02:32What do you do?

02:33Sure, oh, do you.

02:35Is that what you do?

02:37Mate, I can't wait to come and see you around.

02:39I'll see you moving in about 20 minutes.

02:41All right, see you in a bit, you clown.

02:42Right, yeah, sure.

02:42But yeah.

02:43Right, this is what's going to happen to you.

02:46Phone dead.

02:47Absolute clown.

02:48Move!

02:49Oh my God!

02:51Why did you just do that?

02:52What a clown!

02:53Hello?

02:54Are you the driver of the white van who just nearly crashed into me?

02:58I am the driver of the white van.

03:00Right, okay.

03:01Just to let you know, I've got your number off the back of your van.

03:03You just nearly crashed into me.

03:05I don't think so, pal.

03:06Who are you anyway?

03:07No, I know you.

03:08I just want to let you know, you need to start your driving out.

03:11Is it some sort of joke?

03:13No, you've just nearly gone straight into the side of me.

03:16Listen to me, you.

03:17Listen to me.

03:17No, you listen to me.

03:18No, you listen to me, mate.

03:21No, you listen to me, mate.

03:31You're going to drive like the way you did.

03:32Well, you shouldn't be calling this number.

03:33Listen, mate.

03:34I'm a very busy man.

03:36I'm on deliveries and I don't need this.

03:38Right, well, we'll just have a straightener then.

03:39Where are you now?

03:40I'll come and see you.

03:41Yeah, fine.

03:42I'm driving.

03:43I'm heading towards Limb Services.

03:44Limb Services?

03:45Yes.

03:46Alright, I'm going that way anyway, right?

03:47I'll tell you what, mate.

03:48I'll be there.

03:48You pull up there and we'll sort this out.

03:50What, and you clapped out white van again?

03:52Are you on your own as well?

03:53Of course I'm on my own.

03:54I don't need anybody.

03:55Who are you anyway?

03:56What's this all about?

03:57You just nearly crashed into me.

03:58Just nearly crashed into me.

04:00Where?

04:00In town, in Manchester, in town.

04:02I haven't been in Manchester for over half an hour, mate, so.

04:05Yeah, so it took me ages to try and...

04:07I don't think you'll have to compensate some sort of scammer, but it ain't going to work

04:10with me, mate.

04:11You better bring a few mates with you, because I'll take no people like you, mate.

04:14You sound like a bit of an old fellow as well.

04:17No, I'm a living show lad, mate.

04:19That's all.

04:19Oh, you're living show?

04:20Oh, I'm scared, mate.

04:21I'm well-known, mate, there.

04:23So you just...

04:23Oh, yeah.

04:24Who are you?

04:25Pick her then.

04:26Oh, mate.

04:27Pick me on.

04:28If you meet me at liver services, I'll see you there.

04:31Do you understand?

04:31Yeah, yeah, yeah.

04:32I'll be there, mate.

04:33I'll be there.

04:34Don't worry.

04:34Well, good.

04:35Good.

04:35But you need to sort out your driving.

04:37That's the main thing.

04:38You need to sort out how you drive.

04:39This is some sort of joke you'd have to sort of compensate.

04:42You ain't going to work with me, pal.

04:43Who do you even work for?

04:45Amazon.

04:46I'm a delivery driver.

04:47Are you some sort of joker or something?

04:49Is this some sort of joke?

04:50No.

04:51Why can't you drive?

04:52Your driving's a joke.

04:53That's what it is.

04:54My driving's impeccable, pal.

04:56Okay.

04:56And if you want to make something of it, I suggest you follow me to that service station

04:59and we'll sort this out.

05:01If you would have crashed into me, it would have gone through insurance.

05:04You wouldn't like that, would you?

05:05Well, I can assure you my van's got cameras on it, so if you want to make something

05:08of it, get in touch and we'll check the cameras.

05:12Yeah, we'll check the camera on your van.

05:13Yeah, well, that's what we'll do, pal.

05:15Bugger.

05:15Anyway, you need a new van.

05:17I don't need this nonsense.

05:18I don't need your nonsense driving.

05:20Where'd you get your license from?

05:22It's a cereal packet.

05:23Should've done a test, mate.

05:25Listen, I'm very busy.

05:26I don't need stupid little idiots like you.

05:28Not stupid, mate.

05:29Waking your time.

05:30I'm not stupid.

05:31I told you, just follow me then.

05:33I'm going to limb service station now.

05:34We'll sort you out there, shall we?

05:36Alright, see you soon.

05:38Clown.

05:41Oh, well.

05:43I'm wondering, how do I go about getting a job as a truck driver?

05:49Because it looks dead easy.

05:50Well, the first thing you have to do, mate, is stop talking like that

05:53because you'll get the sh** kicked out of you in the yard.

05:56So, just letting you know, I'm a third damn black belt in Kenpo Jiu-Jitsu,

05:59so no one's going to beat me up.

06:01So, how do I get...

06:02With a voice like that, I'm sorry if it all pick on you, do you, mate?

06:05How do I get a job driving a truck?

06:06Because it just looks dead easy.

06:08You're HDB1 or 2?

06:10Which one have you got with license?

06:12One?

06:12Number one's the best, innit?

06:14You've got that, have you?

06:15You're HDB1 driver.

06:16No, I want to be the driver.

06:18Have you come through the agency, or are you just falling off the bat to get a job?

06:21Because I was thinking of the easiest job.

06:23What are the easiest jobs that I can get?

06:25I thought, I can get a job as a pilot, because they've got autopilot,

06:29and I thought, hmm, I don't like heights.

06:31And then I thought, ah, I could get a job as a truck driver,

06:35because all they do is just sit in lay-bys, watching the phones.

06:38You cheeky little, listen mate, this is a wind-up, I haven't got time for this today.

06:43No.

06:44I've got people to speak to.

06:45Yeah, speaking to me, so can I get a job?

06:48No.

06:48You've got the point, innit?

06:49Just, I've seen the amount of money that truck drivers are on,

06:52and I think, yeah, I could do that.

06:53For that amount of money, I sit in the lay-by, watching my phone,

06:57I draw the curtains, go for a sleep.

06:59Sounds lovely, but you've still got to drive the truck.

07:01Because now I'm really just in a lay-by, not sometimes.

07:04It's a serious job, mate.

07:06Is it?

07:06You cannot take heavy goods lightly.

07:08I don't need training.

07:09It's been 20 years.

07:10Shush.

07:10Yeah, you sound like a smart , if I'm honest with you, mate,

07:13but I don't want to speak to you.

07:14Yeah.

07:14Because I'm busy.

07:16I'm very articulated.

07:18But I do struggle, I do struggle spelling HGV.

07:22You struggle spelling HGV?

07:24Yeah.

07:25Good.

07:26How old are you?

07:27Old enough for a job.

07:28So, can I...

07:29Well, you'd know how to f*** right off, then, wouldn't you?

07:31Oh!

07:33Right, they're waiting to speak to me,

07:34and I'm speaking to you and waiting my time.

07:36I'm not waiting your time.

07:38I'm going to go.

07:39Can I...

07:40Go where you want.

07:41I'm going to ring your back.

07:43You are not ring...

07:44Try that, sometimes.

07:45See how far you get.

07:47I'll probably get you on the end of the phone.

07:49I've got a phone or ID.

07:51I'll know it's you,

07:51because it'll come up on the screen.

07:53Can I get a job or what?

07:55What?

07:55Can I get a job or what?

07:56No, you can't get a job.

07:58I'll tell you what,

07:59not only do you have to be a different age,

08:00but I think you've actually got to grow up.

08:02Is that why you're not a truck driver?

08:03You're a receptionist.

08:04I don't...

08:05No!

08:06Get yourself...

08:07I'm the...

08:08I'm the...

08:08I'm the truck...

08:09Do you a favour, mate.

08:12This time of year.

08:13Just go and take yourself ice skating while it's thin.

08:19Right, let's see.

08:20I've got to go,

08:20because there's a truck driver show in there.

08:25If there's one of ours,

08:26if he's in our union,

08:28he'll probably kill you.

08:29No, it won't.

08:29Bye!

08:30Love you, bye!

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