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I have been married for twelve years now. We have two children a boy who is nine and a girl who is seven. - Reddit Stories
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00:00I have been married for 12 years now.
00:02We have two children, a boy who is 9 and a girl who is 7.
00:05My husband works as a manager at a warehouse and I work part-time as a receptionist at
00:10a dental office.
00:11We live in a small 3-bedroom house on a quiet street.
00:15Our life is not perfect but it is comfortable.
00:18Or, at least I thought it was comfortable until last Saturday.
00:21My younger sister came to visit for the weekend.
00:24She lives 4 hours away in a city and she does not come home often.
00:28She has always been the fun one.
00:30No children, no husband, just a small apartment and a job as a bartender.
00:35My parents adore her because she brings them gifts and laughs at all of my father's jokes.
00:40I am the older sister.
00:42The responsible one.
00:43The one who cleaned the house when we were kids and made sure my homework was done while
00:47she stayed out late.
00:48I have made peace with this a long time ago.
00:51She arrived on Friday evening with a bottle of expensive wine and a new haircut.
00:55She hugged my children and gave them each a $20 bill.
00:59They ran off to their room screaming with joy.
01:02My husband opened the wine and we sat in the living room while the kids watched a movie
01:06in the other room.
01:07Everything was fine at first.
01:09She talked about her new boyfriend who was a musician and about a trip she took to the
01:13beach.
01:14I told her about the kids' school plays and the leaky faucet in the kitchen.
01:18Normal things.
01:19Then my mother called and I put her on speakerphone.
01:22My mother asked my sister if she had told me the big news yet.
01:26My sister laughed and said not yet mom I am working up to it.
01:30I felt my stomach drop.
01:32Big news from my sister usually meant something dramatic.
01:35I asked her what was going on.
01:37She looked at my husband then back at me and said she had decided to move back to our town.
01:42She said she wanted to be closer to family because she was tired of the city.
01:45She said she had already applied for a job at a new brewery that was opening downtown and
01:50she had found an apartment to rent two streets away from her house.
01:54I was surprised but not angry.
01:56It is a free country.
01:57She can live where she wants.
01:59I said that would be nice for the kids to have their aunt close by.
02:03My husband nodded and said it would be good to have an extra pair of hands for babysitting.
02:07My sister smiled but it was a tight smile.
02:10Not her real one.
02:12The next morning I woke up early to make pancakes.
02:14My sister came into the kitchen in her pajamas and poured herself a cup of coffee.
02:19She sat at the table and watched me cook.
02:22After a few minutes she said she needed to tell me something else.
02:25Something that might upset me.
02:27I turned off the stove and sat down across from her.
02:30She said that when she moved back she wanted to host a weekly family dinner at her apartment
02:35every Sunday.
02:36She said she wanted to invite her parents and us and maybe some of her new friends.
02:41I said that sounded lovely.
02:42She shook her head and said no you do not understand.
02:46I want to host instead of you.
02:48I asked her what she meant.
02:49She said that for the past 10 years I had been the one who hosted every holiday, every
02:55birthday, every Sunday dinner.
02:57She said that she had noticed how tired I looked in every family photograph and how I
03:02never sat down to eat because I was always in the kitchen cleaning or serving food.
03:06She said that she wanted to take over so I could finally relax and be a guest for once.
03:11I started crying.
03:13Not because I was sad but because I was so relieved.
03:16I hugged her and thanked her.
03:19She hugged me back and said that is what sisters are for.
03:22That is not the drama part of the story.
03:24The drama came later that afternoon.
03:26My parents arrived to have lunch with us.
03:29My mother brought a casserole and my father brought a six pack of beer.
03:32We all sat at the dining table.
03:35My sister announced her plan to move back and to host the Sunday dinners.
03:39My mother looked at me then at my sister and said absolutely not.
03:43I asked my mother why not.
03:45She said because it would make me look bad.
03:47She said that if my sister started hosting all the family events people would think I
03:52was not capable of doing it myself.
03:54She said that I had always been the hostess and that was my role.
03:58She said that my sister was not a good cook and that her apartment was too small and that
04:02she did not have the right dishes or the right tablecloth.
04:05My sister laughed and said she could buy a tablecloth.
04:08My mother said it was not about the tablecloth.
04:11It was about tradition.
04:12She said that our grandmother had hosted family dinners and then she had hosted them
04:16and then I had taken over.
04:18She said that my sister had chosen a different life and that was fine but she did not get
04:22to just come back and change everything.
04:25My husband stayed quiet.
04:27He looked down at his plate.
04:28My father cleared his throat and said maybe we could take turns.
04:31My mother glared at him and he went quiet too.
04:35Then my sister said something that changed everything.
04:38She said that the only reason our mother was upset was because if the dinners moved to
04:42her apartment our mother would lose control over the guest list.
04:45She said that for years our mother had been telling her who she could and could not invite
04:49to my dinners.
04:50She said that our mother had banned her from bringing her old boyfriend because he had tattoos
04:54and she had banned her from bringing a close friend who was a woman because she thought
04:58that friend was too loud.
04:59I looked at my mother.
05:01My mother turned red.
05:02She said that she had only been trying to protect the family from awkwardness.
05:06I asked her if it was true.
05:08She did not answer.
05:10She just stood up and started clearing the plates even though everyone was still eating.
05:14My sister told her to sit down.
05:16My mother did not sit down.
05:17My sister said that for 10 years I had been killing myself to make everything perfect.
05:22That I had spent hundreds of dollars on food and decorations.
05:26That I had cleaned the house top to bottom before every gathering while my husband watched
05:30sports on the television.
05:32That I had never once complained even when my mother criticized my gravy or my choice of
05:36music.
05:37My husband finally spoke.
05:39He said that was not fair because he worked long hours and he deserved to relax on weekends.
05:44My sister turned to him and said that I also worked and that I also deserved to relax.
05:49He opened his mouth then closed it.
05:51My mother started crying.
05:53She said that she was just trying to keep the family together and that I was the only
05:57one who could be trusted to do things right.
05:59My sister said that was a lie.
06:01She said that our mother was a control freak who had ruined every holiday with her silent
06:06treatments and her size and her little comments about how this dish was too salty or that
06:10candle was the wrong color.
06:12My father stood up and said that was enough.
06:15He said we were all adults and we should be able to share a meal without attacking each
06:19other.
06:20My mother threw her napkin on the table and walked out the front door.
06:23My father followed her.
06:25My children came to the dining room because they heard yelling.
06:28My daughter asked if grandma was okay.
06:31I said she just needed some air.
06:33My son asked if we were still having dessert.
06:35I said yes and I served the pie that I had made the night before.
06:39My sister helped me cut the pie and we ate in silence for a few minutes.
06:43Then my husband said he thought my mother had a point about the guest list.
06:47I asked him what he meant.
06:49He said that my sister had strange friends and that he did not want a bunch of strangers
06:54in our house every week anyway.
06:55I reminded him that the dinners would be at my sister's apartment not her house.
07:00He said fine then he did not want strange people around our children.
07:03My sister put down her fork and said that her friends were not strange.
07:07She said they were artists and writers and people who worked at coffee shops and bookstores.
07:12She said they were kind and interesting and that maybe it would be good for our children
07:16to meet different kinds of people.
07:17My husband said he did not want his children learning bad habits from bartenders and musicians.
07:23My sister laughed and said that his children were already learning bad habits from him like
07:27how to sit on a couch for 6 hours straight while your wife does everything.
07:30That was when my husband stood up and left the table.
07:34He went into the bedroom and shut the door.
07:36My daughter started crying.
07:38My son asked if everyone was angry.
07:40I said no everyone just needed a minute.
07:42My sister apologized for losing her temper.
07:45I told her she did not need to apologize because everything she said was true.
07:49She looked surprised.
07:51I told her that I was tired.
07:53I was tired of hosting.
07:54I was tired of my mother's criticism.
07:57I was tired of my husband acting like he lived in a hotel.
08:00I was tired of being the one who remembered everyone's birthdays and bought everyone's
08:04gifts and wrapped everyone's presents and cooked everyone's meals.
08:08My sister held my hand.
08:09She said that is why I am moving back.
08:12Not to take anything from you.
08:14To give you a break.
08:15I started crying again.
08:17My daughter climbed into my lap and hugged me.
08:20My son patted my back.
08:22We finished our pie and then my sister helped me clean the kitchen.
08:25My husband stayed in the bedroom for another hour then came out and watched television without
08:30saying a word to anyone.
08:31My parents came back after a walk around the block.
08:34My mother's eyes were red.
08:36She hugged me and said she was sorry.
08:38She said she did not realize how much pressure I was under.
08:42She said that maybe my sister could host one dinner a month to start and we could see how
08:46it went.
08:47My sister said that was fine with her.
08:49My father said he thought that was a wonderful compromise.
08:53Then he asked if there was any pie left.
08:55That night after everyone left and the kids were in bed my husband tried to talk to me.
09:00He said he was sorry for being lazy.
09:02He said he did not know I felt so overwhelmed.
09:06He asked if we could start over and split things more evenly.
09:09I told him I did not want to talk about it that night.
09:12I was too tired.
09:13He said okay and went to sleep.
09:15I stayed up for another hour just sitting in the dark living room looking out the window
09:20at the quiet street.
09:21I thought about my sister moving back.
09:23I thought about Sunday dinners at her small apartment with her strange friends and her
09:28cheap tablecloth.
09:29I thought about my mother learning to let go.
09:32I thought about my husband maybe learning to help.
09:35I do not know if any of it will work out.
09:37But for the first time in a very long time I felt something that was not exhaustion or frustration
09:41or guilt.
09:42I felt hope.
09:43My sister starts her new job next month.
09:46She signed the lease on her apartment yesterday.
09:49I helped her pick out a tablecloth.
09:51It is bright yellow with orange flowers.
09:53My mother saw a picture of it and she said it was very cheerful.
09:57My husband asked if he could invite his brother over for the first Sunday dinner.
10:01My sister said yes as long as his brother brought a dessert.
10:05My daughter asked if she could bring her best friend.
10:08My son asked if he could bring his remote control car.
10:11I said yes to both.
10:12I am not sure what will happen when we all sit down together at that yellow flower table.
10:17Someone might say something mean.
10:19Someone might cry.
10:21Someone might walk out.
10:22But I think that is okay.
10:24Because a family is not a perfect photograph.
10:27A family is a bunch of people who love each other even when they are angry.
10:30Even when they are tired.
10:32Even when the gravy is too salty and the candles are the wrong color.
10:36This is the story I wanted to share with you.
10:38This is the story I wanted to share with you.
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