- 1 hour ago
Virgin Island Season 2 Episode 2
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:04I'm nervous. I'm going to take it one step at a time. I'm absolutely petrified.
00:11Twelve virgins are travelling to a unique island retreat that could change their lives forever.
00:18This has made me the strangest day of my life.
00:21Being a virgin at the age of 22 feels very lonely. I've just sort of given up all hope.
00:28In a world saturated with sex, more young adults than ever are caught in an intimacy epidemic.
00:35The thought of having sex with someone scares me. It gives me the ick. I don't feel confident.
00:40I'm missing out. Terrified at the thought of it. Nerve wracking. Gut wrenching. Embarrassing.
00:45All I think about is what I'm going to get wrong. Can you point to the outer labia? Nope.
00:55Now, they're getting a crash course in intimacy.
00:59Social media, porn, dating apps. There are so many negative messages and we can help them blossom.
01:06Use it by stimulating the area.
01:08Guided by a team of experts.
01:11You see yourself as...
01:12Propulsive.
01:13They'll confront their insecurities.
01:15I'm hiding. How upset actually do you feel?
01:18Exploring intimacy.
01:21In every form.
01:23Yes, yes. Good.
01:26And maybe...
01:27Have sex with a trained therapist.
01:32Desperate times call for desperate measures.
01:35Or even one another.
01:37Why are you nervous around me?
01:38I don't know.
01:39It's so good.
01:40I really do need to change my life.
01:43The question is...
01:45Get a room, guys!
01:46..who will finally be ready...
01:49Just, like, get a bit anxious.
01:51..to go all the way...
01:53Touching the hooker?
01:54Mm-hm.
01:54..on Virgin Island.
02:02In the first phase of the course...
02:04Shame really interrupts pleasure.
02:08..the group confronted their shame.
02:10Have I got a lipstick?
02:11Now you have a kiss.
02:13Bertie made small steps forward.
02:15What do you think?
02:16Let's go!
02:17But witnessing intimacy...
02:19..stared up Joy's feelings of religious shame.
02:22I literally thought that God cursed me with vaginismus
02:25to stop me from having sex.
02:27..and Alex revealed the extent of his anxiety.
02:30Penny for your sides.
02:32The main overriding thing is still that worry
02:35of not getting an erection.
02:37The phase ended...
02:38For me, shame is feeling ugly.
02:42Sorry.
02:43..with the group letting their shame...
02:45Let it go!
02:46Let it go!
02:47..go up in flames.
02:49CHEERING
02:51Now, things are set to escalate...
02:53Imagine that your cock is going inside my vagina.
02:56..with the second phase of the course...
02:58..good.
03:00Turn-ons.
03:01In society, a lot of people feel ashamed
03:03to talk about sex.
03:05It can be very embarrassing.
03:07Take a moment to look at your vulva.
03:09But to have a really fulfilling sex life,
03:11you have to know what turns you on.
03:14Ah!
03:21Good morning, morning.
03:23Morning!
03:24It's the morning of day three on Virgin Island.
03:28Oh, here we go, then.
03:31And time for the group to discover what's in store
03:34over the next two days.
03:36The next phase is turn-ons.
03:39I think turn-ons might involve a lot of dirty talk.
03:42It is quite a step up from hugging and stroking people's arms.
03:45Talking about, like, what turns you on is a private thing,
03:48but I guess nothing is private on this island.
03:52Morning!
03:53Good morning.
03:54I'm feeling nervous and tense over this.
03:59It's going to be a very big challenge.
04:03Turn-ons, guys.
04:04Your aim is to find everyone's turn-ons.
04:07LAUGHTER
04:08The thing is, I know all my turn-ons,
04:11but talking about it feels quite daunting.
04:14If one of the guys gets a boner, like, they're going to be like,
04:16we're so proud of you.
04:17We're proud.
04:20I'm very nervous.
04:21It just all feels like something I'm not allowed to think about.
04:24Like, oh, my gosh.
04:25No, no, no, no, no, no!
04:31You ready to know your turn-ons?
04:33No.
04:34Do you know your turn-ons now?
04:35Harry Styles.
04:37The group may be sexual beginners.
04:40Hi!
04:42But Celeste and Danielle want them to imagine they're experts
04:45and embrace their turn-ons.
04:51People get really confused.
04:53They're like, what turns me on?
04:54Is it positions or do I need to buy a new toy?
04:58But what really turns us on is the feeling that we get during sex.
05:03We call this our core desires.
05:06This is the cornerstone of the whole course.
05:09Everyone should know their core desires.
05:11If you want to have an amazing sex life,
05:12find out what you want to feel during sex
05:14and tell your partners.
05:16For me, in sex, it's all about feeling very special.
05:20I want to feel powerful.
05:23I want to feel like they're lucky to have me.
05:26And for me, I really like to feel like I'm the queen.
05:31People have many different feelings that they want to have during sex,
05:34and all of them are beautiful.
05:35We don't shame any of them.
05:38So you can just lie down, relax.
05:42To get them in the mood,
05:44Danielle begins with a visualization exercise.
05:48I wanted to start thinking about a fantasy that you might be having.
05:54It can be something that you saw in a movie or some erotics that you read.
06:01And then start noticing what is the feeling that you want to feel in that moment.
06:09You might want to feel loved or precious.
06:15You might want to feel masterful, desired.
06:23Whenever you're ready, come back, sit at the edge of your mat.
06:29With their core desires in mind...
06:33..the experts want the group to write them down on a stone
06:36and share with each other.
06:39You could just play Noughts and Crosses.
06:55OK, so who feels like they're ready to come up?
07:01I'm going to go.
07:02Great. Wonderful.
07:03For Joy, her desires have always been complicated.
07:07When I was in year seven and eight, I thought it wasn't OK to be gay.
07:13I spoke to a church pastor when he started going on a rant
07:16about gay people being really sexual and slutty and promiscuous.
07:21And I realized myself that I was bisexual.
07:26But sex with a woman is like an undiscovered landscape.
07:30I do feel a bit guilty for wanting to explore it.
07:35So, I put, uh, cherished, um, revered, uh, lost in the moment,
07:43free and ultimately ravished.
07:46Yay! That's my girl.
07:51As others step up...
07:53I'll do it.
07:54..some themes emerge.
07:56For me, I think the most important thing is to feel wanted.
07:58Feeling wanted.
08:00I put wanted... I've mainly put wanted.
08:02..and appreciated are common desires.
08:05I want to feel loved.
08:06Loved. Everyone wants to feel loved.
08:08I've only got pampered on mine.
08:10Special.
08:11Praised.
08:12And then we feel, like, nice and safe space.
08:14While some want to be dominated.
08:16I want to feel on edge and teased.
08:19Dominated.
08:20I feel like a little bit of a perv, telling you this, but, yeah.
08:22Oh, we love pervs.
08:23We love pervs.
08:24LAUGHTER
08:27So far, only 24-year-old Bertie hasn't stepped up.
08:33I do a lot of volunteering work in charity fundraising events.
08:39I'm the one to try and get a lot of rich people to give money for charity.
08:44We're disappointed in it, but...
08:45But when it comes to discussing, you know, sexual things,
08:50I don't see myself as a confident player.
08:55I think turn-ons, especially from the more sexual aspect,
09:01should not be shared in front of everybody.
09:03It should be kept as a secret between you and your partner,
09:07which is why I wrote,
09:09I have turn-ons, but I'm not sharing them in front of everyone.
09:12It should only be a secret between you and your partner.
09:16That's about it, really.
09:18APPLAUSE
09:31How are we all feeling?
09:32I really liked it.
09:33Yeah.
09:34I was just like, oh, wow, this feels a bit different.
09:37Felt something in my nipples, like, as well, you know what I mean?
09:40Oh, yeah?
09:40Like, it felt a bit...
09:44The turn-ons exercise may have worked for some.
09:47When I go home, if I'm ever in a relationship with someone,
09:49I'm just going to put it by their bedside table.
09:52Turn-ons!
09:56But Bertie is just not feeling it.
09:58I was the only person in the group to not do it.
10:01I didn't want to, like, say things in front of everybody, you know?
10:04I do kind of feel like I've been, like, the odd one out in the group now.
10:08I feel like I've just taken a bit of a setback after that.
10:12It certainly wasn't the most enjoyable workshop, put it that way.
10:15I felt a bit of uncomfortableness, like...
10:21..everywhere, really.
10:24To help the group discover their turn-ons...
10:27Who's got the one-to-ones today, mate?
10:29..they'll all have one-on-ones.
10:31You've got Illil.
10:33Illil, OK. Which one's Illil?
10:35She's a sexological body worker.
10:37Ireland vibes.
10:38Thank you. No, no.
10:40Starting with Alex, who has struggled to get turned on
10:43under the pressure of intimacy.
10:46Sex has been a sense of anxiety for me.
10:50Growing up, my dad was quite emotionally repressed himself.
10:53We had sex education in school at year five,
10:55and I talked to my dad about it, and he said,
10:58oh, that's rude, don't talk about that.
11:01I then became so embarrassed to talk or think about sex.
11:05Whenever sex or relationships or anything came on TV,
11:10I used to leave the room.
11:13It's estimated that half of modern men have experienced performance anxiety.
11:19To help Alex, sexological body worker Illil plans to get physical.
11:24I want to work with him on receiving touch for me and recognizing when that performance anxiety kicks in
11:31and letting me know what he needs in order to bring arousal up.
11:35So, hopefully the erections will come when he has a lot of pleasure.
11:41Hello.
11:44So, the idea of today is for us to do full-body pleasure mapping.
11:49Mm-hmm.
11:50You're going to be guiding the whole thing.
11:52Whenever you feel yourself starting to worry about performance,
11:57you can just say, like, can we slow down?
12:01So, take your clothes off.
12:04I think I'd like to keep my boxes on.
12:07Yeah.
12:07OK.
12:08Pleasure mapping is an exercise where Illil touches Alex all over his body.
12:13So, we can start laying down.
12:16Including his genitals, so Alex can lie back and concentrate on pleasure.
12:22Is this the touch that you want?
12:23That feels nice.
12:24Yeah.
12:27I've heard three people that I would describe as a girlfriend.
12:33But I never had sex with anyone.
12:36The first time I tried, I had a panic attack.
12:38I was so nervous I couldn't get an erection.
12:41And, um, I then convinced myself that sex is something, I guess, scary or nerve-wracking.
12:48It's constantly playing on my mind.
12:52Is this the right speed?
12:53Yeah, that's great.
12:57Very erotic.
12:59So, touching close to your underwear line, it's almost like teasing you.
13:03Yeah.
13:04All right.
13:07What are you noticing?
13:08Getting more turned on.
13:10Mm-hmm.
13:11Really getting, like, excited.
13:13Mm-hmm.
13:15It felt really nice when you were brushing past my genitals.
13:17Would you like me to do that?
13:19Yeah, yeah, yeah.
13:22And I love when you move like that.
13:25It kind of really lets me know that you're enjoying yourself.
13:29Amazing.
13:39All right.
13:42Amazing.
13:43Amazing, amazing, amazing.
13:46I'm going to take my hand off very slowly.
13:51So, did you feel me fully aroused?
13:54Yeah.
13:55Could you feel you fully aroused?
13:57Yeah, yeah.
13:59Amazing.
14:01Have you ever felt aroused like that with someone?
14:04Not like that, not to the point where I'm, like, moving my hips and feeling tingly.
14:09You are very, very erect.
14:11Yeah.
14:12You did so good.
14:13Thank you so much.
14:15Bye-bye.
14:16I don't think I've ever felt that sort of level of eroticism before.
14:20She's just had such a calming presence.
14:22So, yeah, feeling really good and sort of inspires confidence going forward.
14:30Hey, guys.
14:31How did your one-on-one go?
14:33Good.
14:33It went into genital touching.
14:35And, yeah, that felt really good.
14:37I bet.
14:38LAUGHTER
14:49It was really windy last night.
14:51Yeah.
14:51Like, for a while, I think, like, my tent was going to blow away.
14:54Oh, my God, do a Dorothy.
14:56Go to the yellow brick road.
14:57Celeste and Danielle, I've turned into a tin man and a scarecrow.
15:00LAUGHTER
15:01I'd probably be the lion, because I'm the cowardly one.
15:06It's the afternoon on Virgin Island.
15:09How does that feel?
15:11Yeah.
15:11Yeah, it feels good.
15:13As the one-on-one sessions continue...
15:15It's good.
15:16You seem more open to me.
15:19Just baby steps.
15:20..the turn-on phase of the course is gathering pace.
15:23May I direct you in touching my breasts?
15:27Yeah.
15:27Yes.
15:28And a little more pressure-y.
15:30OK.
15:31Yeah.
15:34And the group continues to open up to each other.
15:37When I was at school, all the boys, like, would walk past
15:40and be like, oh, you're all lesbians,
15:42cos you go to an all-girls school.
15:43Yeah.
15:44When I was, like, 12, I remember thinking,
15:47oh, my gosh, why has God given me so many gay friends?
15:50I now have to convert all of them.
15:51It took me a couple of years to realise that I was, in fact, one of them.
15:55LAUGHTER
15:58Years of sexual anxiety have taken a physical toll on Joy.
16:02I have vaginismus.
16:03This physical and psychological problem, it causes pain.
16:07If I can't insert a finger into my vagina, you know,
16:11how can I physically have sex?
16:12With guidance from Malil,
16:14she'll learn how to relax her body around touch.
16:17We can actually practise towards penetration in a very slow process,
16:23creating an alignment between what the head wants to do
16:27and what the body actually feels comfortable with.
16:31Hello, beautiful.
16:36So, our intention for today is, if you feel comfortable,
16:39we can explore the opening of your vagina.
16:43Sometimes that's been hard, because it all, like, closed up.
16:46Yeah.
16:46Maybe we can see it today.
16:51I want you to just start by maybe putting your hands on your vulva.
16:57Would you like to have a look where you're touching?
17:00Alil encourages Joy to explore her body.
17:03Oh, my gosh, that's so weird.
17:04Can you see?
17:06And in doing so, change the way she feels about it.
17:09Take a moment to look at your vulva and connect to her.
17:13Mm.
17:15She's beautiful.
17:16It's weird, because I feel like she looks ugly.
17:19When I was 12, I had this realisation that I had been masturbating.
17:24I went to Christian camp,
17:26and there was this call to come to the front for prayer for sexual sin.
17:31I felt convicted.
17:33Like, oh, my gosh, they're speaking about me.
17:34I've sinned.
17:35And I told my youth pastor,
17:38and then she staged an intervention.
17:41Yeah, it stuck with me.
17:43It's been hard to get that out of my head.
17:46And now I want to be free to explore a sexual side to myself.
17:50I want to enjoy my life and accept myself.
17:55So what part are you curious about?
17:58I think I want to just touch the outer labia.
18:01What?
18:02You can do like that.
18:05You can, like, bring a little bit of vibration.
18:09That's quite nice.
18:10Bit of rousing.
18:12Mm-hmm.
18:12Yeah.
18:12Do you want to try it with oil?
18:14Yeah.
18:17Put it all over your vulva.
18:23It does feel totally different.
18:24Yeah.
18:25Can you see your opening?
18:27You can see a tiny dot there?
18:29Yeah.
18:29So that's your, that's your clit.
18:31Oh, that's so interesting.
18:32The clit is like a miniature penis.
18:34You will feel there's like a shaft.
18:37See if you can feel the shaft.
18:39OK.
18:41Sexological bodywork includes one-way touch.
18:45Can I?
18:45Yeah.
18:46Here.
18:48Oh.
18:49Allowing a little with consent to help joy discover pleasure.
18:53Yeah.
18:54So how does it feel?
18:56It feels really good.
18:57I can feel arousal.
18:59That's new.
19:06Awesome.
19:08Thank you very much for giving me this experience.
19:11It's such a precious feeling.
19:13It feels really special.
19:18It's like, it's like she's safe.
19:20She's safe.
19:20She's good.
19:23You got her.
19:24Yeah.
19:26And I know what she looks like now as well.
19:34Hiya.
19:35How was your thing?
19:37Um, it was really good.
19:40Was it?
19:40Yeah, it was really good.
19:42She was like, you need to focus on what feels good for you.
19:44The thing is just like, really?
19:46I'm allowed?
19:48I feel really good.
19:50I feel really good, yeah.
19:51I just keep learning all these things about myself.
19:53So proud to really connect with my body
19:55and so pleased that I felt like we just had this breakthrough.
20:01Joy has leapt forwards,
20:03but not everyone is riding high.
20:05Bertie, would you like to join us?
20:07Slash, would you like a blanket?
20:08Um, go on then.
20:11What, go on then to the blanket or go on then to joining us?
20:13I'll see what I'll do.
20:15I'll see how you feel.
20:16Yeah.
20:16I think it's quite a chill convo at the moment.
20:18Yeah, I'll see what I can do.
20:20Lovely to talk to you.
20:21Nice to talk to you.
20:22I can socialise, don't worry.
20:23I know you can.
20:24I'm just inviting you to.
20:26I'll see.
20:28Do-do-do-do-do.
20:32Do-do-do-do-do.
20:42Here are the clipboards.
20:44It's late afternoon.
20:46This questionnaire is multiple choice.
20:48Please choose all that apply.
20:50To help the group explore the type of person that turns them on...
20:54I've got boobs so far.
20:56..the experts have handed out a list of questions.
21:00Body hair.
21:01I like my girls with a full beard, mate.
21:05Face shape.
21:06I've never thought about this.
21:07What's mine?
21:09Squirt.
21:10Are you calling me a squid?
21:12I don't think the colour of hair or the colour of eyes matter as long as the hair looks presentable.
21:22Great hygiene.
21:23Yeah.
21:24Clean hands.
21:25Clean nails.
21:26And they've got to have...
21:28I'm going to put banter.
21:31You know, you put banter.
21:35For Marianne, the questionnaire proves revealing.
21:39Ideal first date setting.
21:41I just want to go hiking and then have a picnic somewhere, but then I don't really necessarily want to
21:46be alone with a guy hiking on the first date.
21:48Yeah.
21:49It depends on how safe I feel, you know.
21:53A lot goes on in my head all the time, because I was diagnosed with ADHD when I was about
21:59four, and there's just a lot of emotions.
22:02Like, I'm never not thinking about safety.
22:05Like, when people do one-night stands in my head, I'm like, X, Y, Z could go wrong.
22:08How are you going to an unknown place with this?
22:10My brain goes sort of into overdrive.
22:14I don't trust men.
22:17Right.
22:17You're done, dusted.
22:18High five.
22:20Cool.
22:21Yeah.
22:21I know it is me, but I don't know how to move forward.
22:29Marianne is very much in her head.
22:32She's trying to manage her boundaries so she won't get hurt.
22:37And in that way, she's holding herself back from fully experiencing life.
22:44Good to see you.
22:47Danielle wants to try and help Marianne confront her barriers.
22:51What do you want for yourself in the retreat?
22:54When it comes to sort of entity, I always just have, I'm just, my first thought is just safety.
22:59So a lot of what you're trying to do now is really, like, keep yourself in check.
23:07If, like, it just feels like I'm all alone and I have to put up a guard.
23:12I'm just saying sort of no to everything.
23:14And I think my younger self feels quite sad that I'm still stuck with that feeling.
23:28I feel like I had a lot of issues growing up in South Africa.
23:32In school, I was one of three mixed-race girls and we didn't really know how to fit in.
23:37Because we weren't, like, black enough for the black guys, white enough for the white guys.
23:41I get viewed as this exotic thing.
23:45Sweetheart.
23:46So keep it with my hand on my hair.
23:49It has been sort of like a competition of guys.
23:51They would never be in a relationship with us, but they just want to, like, get our clothes off.
23:55And so it's really, really hard for me to, like, trust men.
24:01I just feel that I'm missing out on things and I can't differentiate, like, what's actual fear and what's just,
24:09like...
24:10Protection.
24:11Yeah.
24:13Can I please have a hug?
24:15Oh, I would love to.
24:20Marianne needs to learn to trust that men don't necessarily want to take advantage of her.
24:28And working with men to deal with all those issues, that's her biggest challenge on the island.
24:43Thank you so much.
24:44My pleasure.
24:47I knew I was going to be emotional, but everything sort of hit me.
24:58It was nice to have this session, because, like, I can just think more clearly about what's to come.
25:05But that's quite daunting.
25:21Morning.
25:22Morning.
25:22Morning.
25:23Morning, Karen.
25:23Morning, Marianne.
25:25Another day begins on Virgin Island.
25:28Oh, I've got a hot dog down my boot.
25:32That'll be a treat for someone later.
25:35And it's the turn-ons phase of the course.
25:38Another knock-up cover.
25:40This phase is pretty intimidating.
25:43I always thought myself as dead playful, dead flirty, but I started being really sheltered.
25:49So, I do feel like I've got a lot to learn.
25:54I personally feel a bit deflated, a bit dejected.
25:58I'm lacking behind.
26:00I know it's a marathon and not a sprint, but some people are running.
26:05I'm trudging.
26:08The phase is exposing deep-seated fears.
26:14When it comes to younger people, around intimacy and touch, there's just a lot more self-consciousness.
26:20A lot of people are afraid, you know, oh, maybe I'm going to get cancelled or cross a boundary.
26:25Nowadays, there is a lot of risk in saying the wrong thing.
26:28Like, if I make a weird, stupid mistake talking to a girl, that's done, isn't it?
26:33I don't want to do something wrong.
26:34I don't want to do things too fast or too slow.
26:38If I do come across as a creep in any way, shape or form, I don't mean to.
26:42I'm so scared of the thought of that happening.
26:45What do you think we're going to do?
26:46I have no idea.
26:49Having already worked on discovering their turn-ons...
26:52Oh, this is so scary.
26:55Celeste and Danielle now want the group to feel it in their bodies.
26:59This is a really safe place that we can practice touching all over each other's bodies.
27:04This exercise can definitely get people aroused and, frankly, I hope it does.
27:13Okay.
27:15One of the things that really gets in the way of us feeling our turn-ons is inhibition.
27:20And today's workshop is all about letting out your inner animal.
27:30So we're going to do a little demo, and then you'll get a chance to practice with each other.
27:35Sex doesn't have to be this thing that is very curated.
27:39It can be animalistic and fun.
27:42Animal game, you don't need much to be good at it.
27:44It's more about connecting with your own impulses and unleashing your inner animal.
27:52There's another animal just next to you.
27:58And you can smell.
28:02You're...
28:08It's so scary.
28:14Well...
28:17Yeah.
28:20Benny?
28:21Yeah.
28:23Yeah.
28:25Ah.
28:26Ah.
28:47I'm looking for a brave volunteer.
28:56I've got an injured foot. I know it sounds like a lame excuse, but with, like, my foot and everything,
29:01it's...
29:02OK, anyone else? Can I do it with you, Marianne?
29:05Yeah, I'm going to go with Marianne. Great, wonderful.
29:10Joy takes the opportunity to practise with a woman.
29:15So just take some nice, deep breaths in and out.
29:22When you feel ready, start exploring each other with your hands.
29:33Good, I love the way you're staying with the sensation and with your own bodies.
29:52And how was that for you?
29:54Marianne made me feel very safe.
29:56Same! It was very fun.
30:01As more of the group step up...
30:03Just follow what your body wants to do.
30:07..their animal instincts start to emerge.
30:14Touching and sensing...
30:24Anyone else?
30:28Fuck it.
30:29Yes, Bertie.
30:31Up until now, Bertie keeps holding back.
30:35If I don't do it now, I'll regret it later.
30:38I think this is the worst time to be a young adult.
30:43Because if you're someone like me who struggles with approaching and talking to women, it's near impossible.
30:51Right?
30:52I constantly think about what I could do wrong rather than what I could do right.
30:58But I have to do this because I want to improve my life.
31:05Start noticing that there's an animal inside you and you can rub against them.
31:16You can hold...
31:18Are you okay?
31:20I'm good, yeah.
31:21You sure?
31:22Yeah, I'm fine.
31:23You're getting comfy physically.
31:24Yeah.
31:32That's okay.
31:33Yeah.
31:34Let yourself feel how good it feels.
31:48I think we're done.
31:49Yeah, me too.
31:50Yeah.
31:50Yeah.
31:54Amazing.
31:55You want to share a little bit?
31:56I was a bit apprehensive about doing it at first.
31:58I mean, I thought you were doing a good job.
31:59It just all felt natural and not really nice.
32:02You've got nice hair to touch as well.
32:03All that wax has come in handy.
32:05That's what it is.
32:11There we go.
32:12Well done to you.
32:20So, how was that?
32:23I was still in that, like, ooh, frisky mood, let's say.
32:27And I was like, okay, so I'm going to just have to calm myself back down
32:29and start from Bertie's level.
32:32All right, Bertie.
32:33Hello.
32:34How did you find it?
32:35Good, good.
32:36You had the right amount of pressure on me that I like.
32:38It felt so natural and I was like, this is...
32:41Yeah.
32:42Oh, I think to say this is one of the bravest things I've done
32:45would be the understatement of the millennium.
32:48This isn't peer pressure or anything like that.
32:51I just feel like I kind of have to participate
32:54because if I am going on this island
32:57to be the same old person that I was for all my life,
33:02what am I doing here?
33:06As the course is going on, I can see people learning and changing.
33:10Everybody's trying new things.
33:11But for some people, therapy is very slow
33:14and totally goes at the pace of the client.
33:22Bertie may be working things out,
33:24but discovering turn-ons for some is slow progress.
33:28Guys, do you like hairy vaginas?
33:31I actually don't care.
33:33Yeah.
33:34Each to their own.
33:35And it starts coming out of their nickel line
33:36and you're like, oh, God, do you need to shave?
33:39Oh, no.
33:40I don't really look after myself very much, but...
33:43No-one's seeing it, so...
33:45After this, that won't be true.
33:51Intimacy is challenging for everyone on the island,
33:53but for 21-year-old Callum, it's also linked to tragedy.
33:58My dad passed away two years ago.
34:01He was an alcoholic.
34:05Erm...
34:06I don't really know how to respond to it.
34:10I'm living on my own in his house where he used to live
34:13and probably spend...
34:16It's probably about 16 hours a day gaming.
34:20Erm...
34:20I suppose it is a way to escape everything in the world.
34:24I struggle to meet people in person.
34:27It makes me feel...
34:29..alone.
34:33The experts want Callum to tackle his grief.
34:37Hi!
34:38Hello!
34:39With clinical therapist, Abby.
34:44Are there times in your life
34:45where you felt uncomfortable talking about these things?
34:49Yeah, I think so.
34:50I'm never really honest or open.
34:52I think it was when my dad passed
34:54that I really started to notice a lot of the stuff about myself.
34:57Talk to me a little bit about that.
35:01I really punished myself about everything.
35:04Yeah, he got admitted to hospital because he'd fallen.
35:08He was on the floor for two days and he couldn't get up.
35:10He couldn't reach his phone to tell anyone.
35:12Yeah.
35:13And the next day, being told that, you know,
35:16he's not got long left to live, so...
35:19He died within two weeks.
35:20Yeah.
35:21He got...
35:22It's okay.
35:24Liver cirrhosis.
35:26Talk about the feeling that comes up around that.
35:28I still feel like I...
35:30I failed him.
35:32That's not...
35:32It's not for you to take on.
35:38Is it reasonable for you to take responsibility of that?
35:41Maybe not.
35:44What are the thoughts running in your head?
35:49Regret?
35:50Yeah.
35:55I just want to make him proud and not flatten his name.
36:02You're making him proud.
36:11It's really emotional because a lot of it is shit, basically, that I hate dealing with.
36:17But I've never really had that emotional response.
36:20And I spoke properly with someone who understands it.
36:23And it's kind of, I think, a fuzzy feeling.
36:26I just feel...
36:28I feel like I'm a little off steam.
36:29I want to run around.
36:36Hello.
36:37Hello.
36:37Hello.
36:38How did it go?
36:40Very emotional.
36:41Looking at shit from a different angle, I suppose.
36:43Do you feel good that it's been light off your chest?
36:46Mm.
36:47Tell you what, though, it's so hot in the teepee.
36:49I sweated it all out, so...
36:51It wasn't tears, it was just sweat coming at your eyes.
36:54Yeah, yeah, yeah.
36:55It wasn't tears, no.
36:56I don't know.
37:06Are you going to bomb it in?
37:08Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
37:09It's late afternoon.
37:11We just, like, glided in.
37:14And many of the group are embracing island life.
37:17To be a man, hey.
37:19Get your hair wet and just, like, come out and be fine.
37:21Yeah, yeah.
37:21Not need your moisturiser, not need to, like, shower.
37:25Oh, God.
37:25Well, I think men need showers.
37:27Yeah.
37:27I hope, I hope they shower.
37:30As some take a dip, the experts have decided it's time
37:34for others to immerse themselves in the retreat's
37:37most advanced therapy, undertaken by three specialists.
37:43Surrogate partner therapy works with the surrogate partner
37:45and the client, practising with everything from different
37:48kinds of touch, through genital touching, oral sex,
37:51or even intercourse, so that people can practise the full
37:55range of sexual experiences.
37:57First is 35-year-old Ellen.
38:00Hello.
38:01Hello.
38:03While all surrogate partner therapy is supported
38:06by clinical therapist Abby...
38:08What I do is therapeutic, emotional discussion.
38:12Kat will be Ellen's surrogate partner therapist.
38:15So I do the relationship side.
38:17Doing touch work and relational work is, like, completely
38:20led by you.
38:21Okay.
38:22And hands are, like, really important in lesbian sex.
38:26Yeah.
38:27Meanwhile, Tegan will work with surrogate partner therapist
38:30Rizden.
38:31And notice the sensation of me touching you.
38:38How did that feel?
38:40It felt good.
38:40It felt really nice.
38:41Okay, great.
38:42But before Marianne can consider a surrogate relationship,
38:46she first has to learn to trust men.
38:49It gets to a point where I need to feel the energy,
38:52you can feel they want more.
38:54And I can't cross the boundary.
38:55Just can't.
38:56My brain just gets stuck.
38:58Like, I really want to challenge myself.
39:00I'm going to do it with a guy and see how I feel.
39:06Trust is everything.
39:08Out of all my friends, I'm the only virgin.
39:10And I do feel lonely.
39:12But I do want to be in a relationship with someone.
39:15If I haven't figured it out by 26 years,
39:19then clearly I do need some help.
39:21First step for Marianne...
39:23Hello.
39:25..is simply being comfortable in the same room
39:27as potential surrogate partner, Andre.
39:31How are you feeling now?
39:33A little bit anxious in my stomach.
39:35And that's just because of unknowns and things.
39:39Yeah.
39:40Working with Marianne,
39:41it's very important that we start slowly
39:44to build the trust in myself.
39:47I'm going to be moving around the room
39:49and going to be noticing how your body is reacting
39:54to where I am.
39:55The idea is just to learn how someone being close to you
39:59can potentially feel.
40:01Yeah.
40:02Okay, so go ahead and close your eyes.
40:11And so I've moved.
40:12You might feel I am further away.
40:20See if there's any noticeable change in sensation.
40:27Growing up, I really never saw how a relationship should be.
40:33My dad just wasn't there.
40:36And seven, eight years ago, I found out I had a new horse sister.
40:40My dad was just sort of collecting mini-families.
40:44Yeah.
40:47Just noticing what's happening in your body.
40:51So anything that reminds me of my dad, you're instantly vetoed.
40:54Trust-wise, I'm very sceptical.
41:00What was, like, kind of going on in your head?
41:03By the end, I liked it.
41:06Hmm.
41:07It just felt warm by the end.
41:09I felt, if I'm being honest, more sort of turned on with the second one that was there.
41:15For some reason.
41:16Yeah.
41:17Wonderful.
41:17Okay.
41:18Great.
41:18I feel a lot more relaxed, yeah.
41:21Good.
41:22After the exercise...
41:24I would love a hug.
41:26Marianne is clearly calmer.
41:29It helps that you smell like salted caramel.
41:31Do I really?
41:33Yeah.
41:34It's very, like...
41:34I like that.
41:36I'm feeling a lot more reassured working with a guy.
41:40He's very lovely and I felt very relaxed.
41:44It has helped my brain not be as fearful.
41:50I'm really proud of myself.
41:55Hi.
41:56Hi, Marianne.
41:57Welcome back.
41:57How did your one-to-one go?
41:59It was good.
42:00Hell yeah.
42:01Nice to meet you.
42:02How many people can actually fit in this bed?
42:04That's a real question.
42:05Bertie, do you want to come join us in the bed?
42:08Um...
42:08Actually, please do.
42:09It's an open invitation.
42:11All right, no worries.
42:14After getting back on track earlier, the experts don't want Bertie to lose momentum again.
42:21Bertie jumped up.
42:21I thought he was going to use his foot as an excuse, but he didn't.
42:24And he was so good.
42:26He seemed so sensual, so, like, animalistic.
42:30It's really important that he feels successful.
42:33Yeah.
42:34When it comes to dating and sex, I just want to be able to be more confident in myself and
42:42know what I'm doing.
42:43Because the thought of me approaching a woman and asking them out, it would make them think, oh, God, this
42:51is embarrassing.
42:52What have I done to deserve being asked out by Bertie?
42:57To help boost his confidence...
43:00Good afternoon.
43:00Good afternoon.
43:02Celeste wants to push Bertie's boundaries.
43:05How was the workshop for you?
43:07I know I got a few things wrong, but that was the first time I didn't really feel uncomfortable.
43:12I was super proud and impressed.
43:14And I think we can use this session to just do more kinds of practices that will be helpful for
43:18you.
43:19Sounds good.
43:20To get more technique together.
43:21It's good to brush my teeth, then.
43:27Celeste starts.
43:28So try to, like, lay me back.
43:31Like this?
43:31Yeah, exactly.
43:33Simulating the missionary position.
43:35How am I going to do this?
43:36It'll be awkward at first.
43:38Yeah.
43:38So don't worry about that, OK?
43:40OK.
43:40Teaching Bertie the basics.
43:42And then you want to line up so that your dick is connected to my pussy.
43:47Of course, OK.
43:48OK.
43:50Right.
43:51Like this?
43:52Yeah, exactly.
43:58And you'll need to hold up some of your weight.
44:01Yeah, sorry.
44:02No, it's OK.
44:03And if you want me to show you what I mean, I'm happy to do that.
44:05It's fine, you can if you want to.
44:06OK.
44:07If you lie down.
44:10OK, so if I'm on top of you.
44:11Yeah.
44:12See how, like, I'm not all the way down here.
44:15Yeah, no.
44:15Because it's just a little too much pressure on the chest.
44:17Yeah.
44:18Yes.
44:23When you thrust, I want you to imagine that your cock is going inside my vagina.
44:28Like this.
44:28Yes, exactly.
44:30Yes.
44:30Yes.
44:31Yes.
44:33Do you want to try that?
44:34Yes.
44:35Let's try it.
44:38Then you get between my legs.
44:40Yeah.
44:41And you pull me up.
44:43Exactly.
44:44You can kind of be all the way up.
44:46Yes, yes, yes.
44:48Good.
44:50Yeah, like that.
44:55Thank you very much.
44:56I feel lightheaded.
44:58Oh, yes, I bet.
44:59You are an absolute miracle worker.
45:01I ain't leaving.
45:02Thank you very much.
45:04I'm just going to be rooting you on in every moment.
45:06Oh, yeah.
45:07I love you.
45:12Oh, Bertie boy.
45:14Hi.
45:15Hello.
45:15How was it?
45:15Good.
45:16Celeste has taught me how certain sexual positions work.
45:21Wow.
45:22So, yeah.
45:24I feel very happy at the moment.
45:26It's amazing what a bit of rolling around on the floor doing different sexual positions
45:32can do to one's mentality.
45:34But I've made progress.
45:36And I'm proud of myself for that.
45:38And I'm thankful for everything that Celeste has taught me.
45:43Oh, my God.
45:47All that thrusting has made me hurt my bollocks.
45:52It's because I have to sleep on my back tonight.
45:54Christ almighty.
45:56Next time.
45:57Look at my pussy.
45:59I'm definitely laughing.
46:00The dating phase panics Ellen.
46:03I just don't feel like I'm good enough.
46:06Alex ups his game.
46:08Do you want to see how hard you are?
46:10And things heat up.
46:11Cheers.
46:12With island dates.
46:13I'm so nervous still.
46:15Why?
46:15I think it's because it's you.
46:36I'm so nervous.
46:37It's because I owe you everything.
46:38Again, sushi ice.
46:44Else.
46:45It's because I have also showed you everything for the reasons.
46:45And so.
46:46i
46:46To the other contour Without mind talking about sc ScoC Scoop.
46:46And this is my personal identity.
46:47Have to do one.
46:47You
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