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Watch DMV () free Season 1 Episode 13 online in HD on Dailymotion (2025).
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Short filmTranscript
00:08Some people would thank the colleague that drove them to work.
00:12You were in a confined area with Vic. I'm sorry.
00:15My car is still in the shop, but he made me ride in the backseat.
00:18Mariah rides shoddy because she doesn't complain.
00:21Mariah is a blow-up doll.
00:24HOV companion.
00:25Shh.
00:27You guys hear that?
00:28The distant roar of a 12-ton, 7.6-liter diesel engine?
00:34I don't hear anything.
00:36Quiet.
00:36There it is, that hiss.
00:38Maybe Mariah blew a patch.
00:40No sh- no.
00:41Compressed air from a split-panel folding door.
00:44Windows that don't retract fully.
00:47Paint. Industrial yellow.
00:49You can tell all of that from a sound?
00:51I can tell all of that from a nightmare.
00:55Are we standing?
01:00Hormones.
01:01Acne medication.
01:04Victoria's Secret's love spell.
01:07Happy Teen Outreach Day!
01:09Oh my god, slay.
01:11You ate.
01:12I knew it.
01:14High schoolers.
01:21As you all know from my email, which by looking at ear faces you did not read, today is Teen
01:26Outreach Day!
01:29Goals?
01:29Get teens driving and drum up good press for our branch.
01:32This takes me back to my days as a teacher.
01:35No aw.
01:35No aw.
01:37I break out into hives whenever I hear a backpack unzip.
01:40Do you know how bad a job it must have been for the DMV to be an upgrade?
01:44Barb, why did you bring this pimple parade in here?
01:45I'm gonna be photoshopping all day.
01:47I turned the parking lot into a driving course.
01:49You guys, I'm so excited!
01:50Today's gonna slap!
01:51Hey, what are these cards?
01:53Yeet?
01:54Bits?
01:54No cap?
01:56Handy teen slang translators.
01:58Ugh.
01:59Greg, don't be mid.
02:01I don't need these, RN.
02:02I got like a dozen baby cousins who are constantly texting me.
02:05They're like, obsessed.
02:06It's low-key sad.
02:07Low-key!
02:07Sort of.
02:08Secretly.
02:08These are great!
02:09Thanks, Barb!
02:10So dusty.
02:11Dusty!
02:11Oh no, that's not nice.
02:13I want everybody in slay mode!
02:15W's only today!
02:16No crap cap!
02:17Well, I'm gonna file a complaint with HR if anyone calls me bestie.
02:21What if I call you testy?
02:24Yeah, that's alright.
02:29What are you doing?
02:30Trying to throw out my back so Barbara will send me home.
02:32Ugh, Greg, you're being ridiculous.
02:34Wait.
02:35So chopped.
02:36Oh no, that's wrong.
02:37I'm not spending a whole day with a bunch of teenagers.
02:40Come on, if anyone should be doing row tests today, it's you!
02:44I bet you were a great teacher.
02:46What did your students used to call you?
02:48Mr. Mosley?
02:49Mr. Gregg?
02:50Mr. M?
02:51Ah!
02:53Busted!
02:53It's Mr. M!
02:54And do not call me that.
02:56Why don't you ever talk about teaching?
02:58Did something bad happen?
02:59Did you have an affair with the principal?
03:01Did you go on your Ben Franklin rant?
03:03No.
03:04And stop asking.
03:05Only if you agree to take at least one row test today, Mr. M.
03:09Fine.
03:10I'll do one test.
03:11Did you wear the wrong pants to school and then everyone made a really mean nickname
03:15and then you had to withdraw from the school altogether?
03:20Dude, I just saw my son.
03:22I'm sorry, what?
03:24My son.
03:25He must go to East Hollywood Magnet.
03:27Mate, you don't have a son.
03:29That's what I thought until now.
03:32See, there's a sperm bank nearby.
03:33And 17 years ago, I dropped off a little donash.
03:37So you, you donated and they accepted it?
03:40Many times.
03:42And then in comes these kids today and there's one that looks exactly like me.
03:48There he is.
03:50Him?
03:51I don't think that's your son.
03:54Woo!
03:58Is this the location for the examination?
04:01Look, I think you're right.
04:03Someone used your sperm for examination?
04:06Oh my God!
04:08There's two of you.
04:09Yeah.
04:14Excuse me, what are you doing?
04:15Uh, I told Sacramento Sally about Teen Outreach Day and she said,
04:19if we give her a 20-second clip, she'll put it on DMV TV LA.
04:25DMV TV is so lame.
04:26Nobody cares about the history of Asphalt or that silly little game show
04:29where you have to name road signs.
04:30Oh, win, lose, or yield?
04:32I love that show.
04:33The host is a traffic cone.
04:35Only idiots watch DMV TV.
04:37I heard that Ray Henderson, director of the California DMV, watches all the time.
04:41Mm-hmm.
04:42The point is, this is a huge opportunity for us.
04:45I already shot a bunch of footage.
04:47I just need my lead actor.
04:49My star.
04:51Star?
04:52Oh my God, Barb.
04:54Hello.
04:55I had so much on-camera experience.
05:00I was a baby model.
05:02Do you remember that serial commercial, but the baby was slightly too hot for a baby?
05:06That was me.
05:07Okay.
05:08You're hired.
05:08Ah, really?
05:09But it's only one line.
05:13One line?
05:14But tons of action.
05:15How do you feel about doing your own stunts?
05:17Are you comfortable with a small minor explosion behind your head?
05:21My whole vibe is small explosions.
05:26Okay, AJ, a few rules before we begin.
05:29No phones.
05:29No dabbing.
05:30No live streaming your driver era.
05:33Oh, but my followers need content.
05:35This isn't content.
05:36Am I clear?
05:38Whatever.
05:39Great.
05:39I love your enthusiasm.
05:41I'm gonna play some driving music.
05:43Do you have any preferences?
05:44I don't care what you listen to.
05:46What?
05:47A teen without ridiculously strong opinions on music?
05:51Oh, I get it.
05:52You just read Sartre in your English class and now you're trying on apathy.
05:56Bro, I barely read my texts.
05:59Okay.
06:00Well, skip the music and just start the test whenever you're ready.
06:05Okay, stop right there.
06:07You forgot to do the pre-drive safety check.
06:09That's an automatic fail.
06:13This is where you're supposed to beg me to give you another chance
06:15because you're supposed to pick up your crew from the Taco Bell.
06:18A crew?
06:20No, thanks.
06:21Ah, yeah.
06:22You're a loner.
06:23Zoom school got you scarred and now you're hiding behind Fortnite.
06:27Not into video games.
06:29Not into video games.
06:30Not into music.
06:31You don't care if you fail.
06:34Do you care about anything?
06:37Nah.
06:39Nah.
06:41Nobody nahs me.
06:43I invented nah.
06:52Oh, Greggles.
06:53How was the road test?
06:54Did you get the closure you needed about your teaching pass when your most promising student let you down by...
07:01You know what?
07:01It's not my place.
07:03Trading his textbooks for the heroin spoon.
07:06Not ready to share.
07:07Got it.
07:07That test was bizarre.
07:09Hmm?
07:10I've come across all kinds of kids.
07:12Jerks.
07:13Slackers.
07:14Druggies.
07:15Class clowns.
07:16Teachers.
07:17Pets.
07:17Oh, no, no.
07:18We're called tryhards.
07:20There was something about this kid.
07:21He didn't care about anything.
07:23Yeah, but that's every teenager.
07:25No, but this kid is different.
07:27I failed him.
07:28He didn't flinch.
07:30He just stared off into space.
07:32Pure apathy.
07:33I've never met anyone like that before.
07:36Um, have you met you?
07:39I know what this is.
07:40I think...
07:41I think you see yourself in him.
07:43Yeah, sure.
07:43If AJ was my age, I would love to grab a beer and dead-eye a wall until the bar
07:47closed.
07:48That is so sweet.
07:49I didn't stop caring until I was much older.
07:52Sixteen is way too young to be that disillusioned.
07:57Caught it.
07:58What?
07:59The sparkle in your eye.
08:01You're just itching to get back in the game to shape and inspire a young mind.
08:06Please.
08:06I'm done with that life.
08:08And also, I'll never see that kid again.
08:12Totally.
08:13I see those wheels turning.
08:15You better park it.
08:16Totally.
08:20Would you take a look at this?
08:21Look right there.
08:23Right in there, I think.
08:24Oh!
08:26Splash!
08:26Literally.
08:27Kid's a genius.
08:29I'm gonna take him on a driving test.
08:31See if I can find out if he's mine.
08:33Yeah, well, he looks like you.
08:34He dresses like you.
08:35And he's a bully who doesn't read the room.
08:37Yeah, but still.
08:39I got a feeling.
08:41Last night, I binged Scorsese's master class on filmmaking.
08:44It's all about framing.
08:46You okay, Barb?
08:47Come on, can we just shoot this thing?
08:48I think we're good.
08:49Let's not let good be the enemy of perfect, okay?
08:52Good is the enemy of perfect.
08:53That's why everyone who's a seven hates me.
08:55All right, kids.
08:56Once you see the camera push in, I want you all to gather behind Ceci.
08:59It's gonna be a one-er like the Copacabana entrance in Goodfellas.
09:02Pretties in the front, braces in the back.
09:04Let's go.
09:04And no touching the talent.
09:06And action.
09:09Hello.
09:11Before we start, full disclosure, I got ED.
09:16Energy drink.
09:18Same dog.
09:20Same.
09:20Love me some ED.
09:22Woo!
09:23Yeah!
09:24All right.
09:25So, Nickter.
09:26You can just, uh, call me Nick.
09:29Oh, I'm Vic.
09:30Short for Vic-a-less.
09:32Oh.
09:35So, uh, before we get going, just a few standard cues.
09:39What's up with your mom?
09:41My mom's.
09:43Did you just say mom's plural?
09:46Yeah.
09:46I got two of them.
09:48And before you ask, they're both hot.
09:51Wait, are these questions like a part of the test?
09:54Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
09:55Family history affects driving, and so I'm gonna get it all down here.
09:59Two smoke show mummies.
10:01Hey, I got a question.
10:02Yeah.
10:03Favorite movie on three.
10:05One, two, three.
10:06Trick question.
10:07Not a movie.
10:09Entourage season three.
10:10Whoa.
10:13Dude.
10:14You passed.
10:15Flying cars.
10:16Really?
10:17Mm-hmm.
10:18Yeah, dog.
10:20I haven't even started driving yet, though.
10:22You passed something far more important, son.
10:25I mean, Lil Vic.
10:27Nick.
10:30Oh, Mr. M.
10:31AJ wants to talk to you.
10:33Uh, you pulled me off the bus and said I forgot to sign something.
10:36Oh, well, doesn't matter how we got here.
10:38Point is, you're here now, and you thought you'd never see him again.
10:41But here he is, a soft mind ripe for molding.
10:45What's happening?
10:46I'm sorry.
10:46My colleague is addicted to helping people, especially those who don't ask for it.
10:51I think you like helping people, too.
10:54It's just that you need a little nudge.
10:56Oh, well, here goes my bus.
10:59Yeah.
11:00Look at that, Colette.
11:01AJ missed his ride.
11:03I can take the public bus.
11:05Oh, no.
11:05Colette can take you home.
11:07She got you into this mess.
11:08I'd love to.
11:09But if you remember, my car's in the shop.
11:12Okay, fine.
11:13I'll drive you home.
11:14I'm coming with.
11:15I'm not gonna miss Mr. M in action.
11:17Wonderful.
11:18There's nothing I love more than having an audience during gridlock.
11:24Two moms.
11:26No dad.
11:27Enter Papa Vic.
11:29Papa Vic?
11:29Yeah.
11:30That's quite awesome.
11:31I know.
11:32So I just need his phone number so I can contact his moms.
11:35Can you hack into the database and snipe that for me?
11:37Dude, I don't think you want to ambush them like that.
11:39They got the product.
11:41Why wouldn't they want to meet the factory?
11:43Can't you just, like, call the sperm bank?
11:45That's a great idea.
11:47Okay.
11:47Gosh, I used to go there several times a week.
11:49I don't want to get anymore.
11:50They let me pick out my own magazines.
11:52Yeah, that's why.
11:53Please don't.
11:53I have some faves.
11:54And action.
11:55East Hollywood DMV held its first ever teen outreach day where we supported local teens
12:00on their journey to becoming licensed drivers.
12:02Okay.
12:03Great warm up.
12:04Let's do it again.
12:04Real deal.
12:05Real deal?
12:06Barb, that was the real deal.
12:07You weren't recording?
12:07And action!
12:10East Hollywood DMV held its first-
12:12I'm not hearing Hollywood.
12:15Action!
12:16East Hollywood DMV held its first ever-
12:18Oh, cut!
12:19Sorry.
12:19It's on me.
12:20Technical problem?
12:21Finger in the frame.
12:23Action!
12:24East Hollywood DMV held its first ever teen-
12:27Cut!
12:27Throw it away more?
12:28What does that even mean, Barb?
12:29What does that even mean, throw it away more?
12:31Smash 2 talent getting difficult.
12:32Difficult?
12:33Me?
12:33You think I'm being difficult?
12:34Barb, I've been standing here for hours waiting to say this dumb little line.
12:37Are you kidding me?
12:37I have a vision!
12:38Oh, well, you know what?
12:39Good luck with your vision, because I quit!
12:41Well, good luck to you!
12:42Because you'll never work at the DMV again for in-house promotional videos.
12:46I mean, your regular job is totally safe.
12:50So, AJ, are you going to retest?
12:54Nah.
12:55Why not?
12:55Relying on others for rides is very annoying.
12:58Just this morning, my driver tried to fart the national anthem.
13:01He made it to Rocket's red glare.
13:03My parents made me get my permit, and school forced me to come as part of this stupid day.
13:08I never cared about it.
13:10You never cared, huh?
13:11Hmm.
13:16Well, if Mr. M won't step in, can I ask, is there trouble at home?
13:21Have you been getting enough sleep, AJ?
13:23I-I love that you think some rando driving examiner is going to be the one to get through to
13:28me.
13:28Actually, Mr. M here used to be a teacher.
13:30Oh, sorry.
13:31Rando driving examiner and a failed teacher.
13:34No offense.
13:35Hmm.
13:36Offense taken.
13:37Collette, buckle up.
13:42Greg, what is happening?
13:47It's time for a lesson.
13:59Since you don't care about music, I'm going to play something that I like.
14:08When I was your age, driving represented freedom.
14:14Get in my car, get the wind in my face, kicking out some kick-ass tunes.
14:20I could go anywhere.
14:21Felt like I was alive.
14:23I'm going to die.
14:24I'm going to die.
14:25You are too young to be so jaded.
14:28You got to earn that.
14:30You have to care now so that you can really not care later.
14:33Not loving this message or the driving.
14:36Trust me, you need to build a deep, bitter well of small defeats.
14:42Like walking into the store and seeing someone grab the last bag of potato chips.
14:47You should not have let AJ sell crumbs.
14:50Or finally finding a pair of sneakers that you really love.
14:53But the 11 is too big and the 10 and a half is too small.
14:57And then there's the big ones.
14:59Taxes.
15:00Marriage.
15:01Realizing that your dream job is a nightmare.
15:04And that cilantro is in everything.
15:06But you know what?
15:07You can't cheat it, kid.
15:08You got to get your license.
15:10You got to get out there and experience the world.
15:12So you can find out first hand just how disappointing life can be.
15:17Because the worst thing you can do at your age is sit back and drift.
15:26So, can you like take me home now?
15:32Sure.
15:38What do you want?
15:39I got you something.
15:41Look, I wanted to apologize for using you as a prop in my pursuit of DMV glory.
15:47Honestly, it's okay.
15:48I'm too iconic for closed circuit television anyway.
15:50I just don't get why you went all crazy and made everything so complicated.
15:54Because I thought if we got a good spot on DMV TV, it would give us a leg up and
15:58I could help save us from getting shut down.
16:02Barb, you save us every day by being such a great manager.
16:06I mean, think about how many teens got their licenses today.
16:10Just promise to never yell action at me again.
16:13I mean, never.
16:14I will not.
16:15And this is my mug.
16:17You literally took it off my desk.
16:18Where I'm from, we never look a gift horse in the mouth.
16:20Yeah.
16:21You never look a horse in the mouth.
16:23They bite.
16:23That's why my cousin has that weird hand.
16:28Well, Nictor is not my son.
16:31Guess you wanted to be a dad, huh?
16:33I wanted someone to want my sperm.
16:35Hey, I'm sure somebody wanted it.
16:37No.
16:37The bank said not a single vial has ever been bought.
16:40How is that even possible?
16:42My donor profile is so sick.
16:47Oh, okay.
16:48Wow.
16:48Hobbies include lifting and feeding my pet snake who gets me.
16:53It does.
16:55I'm sorry, man.
16:57It's not my fault people are idiots.
16:58Yeah.
17:01Hey, you know what?
17:03I think I see what the problem is here.
17:05Like, your profile, it's just a little outdated.
17:08Like, it hasn't changed in years, right?
17:10But you have.
17:11You know, you're right.
17:12I have grown.
17:13Mainly in my trapezius and upper glutes.
17:17Right.
17:17So maybe if we spiff this up, it could get some more traction.
17:21Yeah?
17:21Uh, okay.
17:23Obsessed with me much?
17:25Great.
17:26Um, where do we start?
17:27Uh, how about physical description?
17:29Where it says eye color, you wrote...
17:32Bronze.
17:33But, um, your eyes, they're brown, mate.
17:35So why don't we just say brown?
17:37Dark gold.
17:37I'm just gonna write brown.
17:48Whatever it is, just get it out.
17:49I just want to apologize for that whole mess with AJ and dragging you into it.
17:56And for throwing up in your car.
17:59You're paying for the detailing.
18:01Absolutely.
18:02I never should have tried to bring back Mr. M.
18:06But you did say it was your dream job.
18:08And you stopped.
18:10Because...
18:11Oh, I never told you why.
18:12No, you didn't.
18:13And I never will.
18:15That's mean.
18:16That is mean.
18:16I will tell you this.
18:17It was really fun to get back into the teaching saddle.
18:21Especially the part where I got to tear up the parking lot.
18:24After the DMV screwed me over with this chair, it felt good to get back at them a little.
18:29But you gave such an amazing speech, and AJ just didn't care.
18:33Well, that's teaching.
18:34There are no clear victories.
18:36You never know when or if something's gonna get through to them.
18:39Such a hard job.
18:40I guess that's what makes teachers heroes.
18:42Heroes?
18:43No, we do it for the long summer breaks.
18:46Hello?
18:47You two?
18:48Our DMV TV spot is about to play right now.
18:50Come on.
18:51Oh, great.
18:53In a world where teens are forgotten...
18:56I want freedom!
18:56Get out of my room!
18:57Nobody gets me!
18:59I just want to drive!
19:01There's one place that puts teens first.
19:04And into the driver's seat.
19:07It's the...
19:08DMV!
19:10From the mind of Barbara Jason Berry.
19:13And introducing Cecilia Maria Lucia Rodriguez as Ceci.
19:18East Hollywood DMV held its first ever teen outreach day.
19:21Where we supported local teens on their journey to becoming licensed drivers.
19:28You brought my vision to life.
19:31How on earth did you do that overnight?
19:33Remember that little man that's obsessed with me?
19:35He, like, owns a studio or something.
19:40Thank you, Ceci.
19:42Okay, Barb.
19:43Excuse me.
19:46Where do I go for a retest?
19:53You did it, Mr. M.
20:02There he is.
20:03Dude, after you redid my profile, somebody bought a batch of my teeny tiny tadpoles.
20:09Really?
20:09Yeah.
20:10That's great.
20:11Yeah.
20:11The receptionist I was vibing with called me all hush-hush.
20:15I think she saw my hot new profile and wanted an excuse to talk to me.
20:19A little invitation.
20:22Oh, congratulations, man.
20:23Hey, you believed in me, man.
20:25So, um, when that kid is born, I want you to be the godfather.
20:28I don't think that's how it works, but thank you.
20:30I'm flattered.
20:30You to GF.
20:39Hi.
20:40Hello.
20:41Um, I recently, uh, purchased a vial of your spi- uh, the stuff you sell.
20:48Yes.
20:48I was just wondering.
20:49I don't actually have to come pick it up, do I?
20:54Okay.
20:55Yeah.
20:56I'll be there by seven.
21:00.
21:01.
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