- 12 hours ago
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Short filmTranscript
00:00:00Paris, 1789. The Great Revolution has begun.
00:00:03The hands of the masses are smeared with the blood of the poor bleeding aristocracy.
00:00:07Every day the tumbrils run a regular half-hour service between the Bastille and the many guillotines around the city.
00:00:13The growing mounds of noble heads are only matched by the growing mounds of unused return tickets.
00:00:19No one is spared. Madame la guillotine claims them all.
00:00:23Dukes and duchesses, lords and ladies, men and women of both sexes.
00:00:27A dozen times an hour the drums roll, the blade falls and the heads roll.
00:00:32Yes, every five minutes, a freshly sliced loaf.
00:00:35And there, as always, grimly watching the results of his evil machinations,
00:00:40keeping a watchful eye out for Q-jumpers, stands the most dreaded man in all France.
00:00:45Robespierre's chief of secret police, Citizen Camembert.
00:00:50And beside him, as always, keeping careful count of the grim harvest,
00:00:54his number one assistant, the toadying Citizen Bidet.
00:01:02I said heads, not tails. The wretched aristos, the wrong way round.
00:01:11That malabons, he doesn't know his head...
00:01:13He don't want to go into all that. He'll have to ally.
00:01:15Eh?
00:01:16He'll have to go.
00:01:33And the next one, s'il vous plaît.
00:01:56Go, go, go!
00:02:23What a carve-up!
00:02:25Disgusting!
00:02:25What, sir?
00:02:26Didn't you see that last one here?
00:02:27Terrible scurf.
00:02:29Sterilize the blade!
00:02:30Can't be too careful, you know.
00:02:31Oh, I agree, citizen.
00:02:33Sir?
00:02:34Sorry.
00:02:34Citizen sir.
00:02:35That's better.
00:02:36What's the tally for today so far?
00:02:37Uh, 26 out of Aristotle.
00:02:40Oh, that's very good.
00:02:42Carry on chopping!
00:02:45Meanwhile, just across the channel, far removed from the awful scene of carnage, the cosy little
00:02:51homes of England ring with merry, carefree laughter and satisfied after-dinner velches, as the
00:02:58aristocracy, oblivious of the horrors facing their counterparts in France, continue with
00:03:03their normal and fashionable country pursuits.
00:03:06Hunting.
00:03:12And, of course, shooting.
00:03:28fishing.
00:03:28Not to mention the most pleasurable of them all, fishing.
00:03:48No one indulged in these pleasures more diligently and energetically than two of society's most distinguished
00:03:54and fashionable layabouts.
00:03:55The powdered, bewigged, beribboned, Sir Rodney Effing, with two Fs, and his inseparable companion,
00:04:02Lord Darcy Pugh.
00:04:11Good day, gentlemen.
00:04:12Good day?
00:04:13I suppose so.
00:04:16It's all a monstrous bore.
00:04:17What say you, Darcy, my dear?
00:04:18Definitely the same old rounds.
00:04:20Same old people.
00:04:21Same old girls.
00:04:23Same old tea parties.
00:04:24Same old concerts.
00:04:26Same old balls.
00:04:29Henri, we regret to inform you we're bored with our appearances.
00:04:33Exceeding bored.
00:04:34You mean this wig you give me?
00:04:36They're absolutely common.
00:04:37Definitely below your usual standard, Henri.
00:04:40Please forgive me, gentlemen, but I've been so upset by the news I've received from my beloved France.
00:04:44Your beloved who?
00:04:45France, my country.
00:04:47Oh, I thought he meant a person, a chap, a girl.
00:04:50News?
00:04:51What news?
00:04:51Why?
00:04:52The revolution.
00:04:53Revolution?
00:04:54What does he mean, Darcy?
00:04:55Some new form of vice, I imagine.
00:04:57You know what they're like over there.
00:04:58Oh, yes.
00:04:59Another bore.
00:05:00No, no.
00:05:01Haven't you heard, gentlemen?
00:05:02All the aristocracy of France are losing their heads.
00:05:05But that isn't news.
00:05:07By the guillotine.
00:05:09Oh.
00:05:10Executed.
00:05:11Oh.
00:05:12For what reason?
00:05:13For no reason at all.
00:05:14Except that they are lords and ladies.
00:05:16Ladies, too?
00:05:17I say.
00:05:18That isn't cricket.
00:05:18Damnable waste, tribute.
00:05:20It's madness.
00:05:21Absolute madness.
00:05:22And no one is lifting a finger to help them.
00:05:25No one at all.
00:05:26Please excuse me, sir.
00:05:28I am so overcome.
00:05:32Step me sideways.
00:05:33Did you hear that, Darcy, my dear?
00:05:34They're actually chopping their heads off over there.
00:05:36No one lifting a finger to help them.
00:05:39Disgraceful.
00:05:39Damned.
00:05:41I say, Darcy, my dear.
00:05:43Do you think that you and I might...
00:05:44Lift a finger?
00:05:46Or two.
00:05:47I say, that would be a good idea, wouldn't it?
00:05:49Wouldn't it, chap?
00:05:51Darcy.
00:05:52To Paris.
00:05:52And so started the rescue operation that was to utterly bewitch, bewilder and bedevil citizens Camembert and Bidet.
00:06:00An operation in which Sir Rodney and Lord Darcy, by means of a series of audacious ruses and artful disguises,
00:06:06snatched the victims from the very steps of Madame L'Arculoti.
00:06:10You Give up your friend.
00:06:13Spont Together.
00:06:291 f picå±±
00:06:30Then it's one of four medals for the thrown and run away.
00:06:36Are you gonna wear shelters now?
00:06:38Yes, sir!
00:06:38But I'll pass on our merry tours.
00:06:38Oh, fun, you look small.
00:06:39You'll be very careful, Sam.
00:06:39Oh, my God.
00:07:23And he always leaves one of these things behind, eh, Citizen Camembert?
00:07:27Yes, Citizen Robespierre.
00:07:28What is it? What's it supposed to be?
00:07:30From inquiries that I've made, I gather it's a sign used in England to convey contempt.
00:07:35England?
00:07:36Yes, many of them have it on their coats of arms.
00:07:38Two digits rampant.
00:07:41And what you're trying to say is that this, this, um, what did you call him?
00:07:45The black fingernail, for want of something better.
00:07:47One of the nails is black.
00:07:48Yes, yes, yes.
00:07:49Is he a member of the British aristocracy?
00:07:51Oh, undoubtedly.
00:07:52I spit on them.
00:07:54So do I.
00:07:56Take your pardon.
00:07:58This man must be stopped, Hammond Bear.
00:08:00Don't worry, Citizen. I'll get him next time.
00:08:02Well, you'd better.
00:08:04Now, the Duke de Pomfret goes to the guillotine tomorrow as a prominent leader of the Royalists.
00:08:14I said Royalists, Camembert.
00:08:17Oh, yes, of course.
00:08:19That's better.
00:08:20Now, as I was saying, if the Duke de Pomfret should escape, it would be disastrous.
00:08:25Don't worry, Citizen. I have the guillotine platform inspected.
00:08:28There'll be extra soldiers on duty.
00:08:30By this time tomorrow, the Duke of Pomfret will definitely have had his chips.
00:08:55Here we are, then, Citizen. This is it.
00:08:58This is it.
00:08:59Working models of the guillotine.
00:09:00Only five francs each.
00:09:02Complete with six aristos with fully detachable heads.
00:09:06Take one over to the kids tonight.
00:09:08Play with it yourself later on and watch it fall off in your hands.
00:09:11Right. Here we are, it's five francs.
00:09:12Good old garcy.
00:09:14And that's right. Lovely day, eh?
00:09:16Come on, D-Day. Come on. Let's get started.
00:09:18Certainly, Citizen, sir.
00:09:20Le Duke de Pomfret.
00:09:21Le Duke de Pomfret.
00:09:24Le Duke de Pomfret.
00:09:27Le Duke de Pomfret.
00:09:29That's him. Get ready.
00:09:30Well, don't just tear me a man. Go and get him. Have him off.
00:09:33Eh?
00:09:34Yes, all right. Clear the way. Clear the way, Dach.
00:09:37The blower of the witch.
00:09:39Pomfret.
00:09:43Pomfret, we're waiting for you.
00:09:45Oh, hello.
00:09:47I shan't be long. I'm just on the last chapter.
00:09:51This is good, you know.
00:09:53Put that book down.
00:09:55Oh, I couldn't possibly do that.
00:09:57This is the latest Marquis de Sade.
00:10:01Come on.
00:10:02Take your filthy hands off me, peasant.
00:10:04Peasant.
00:10:05Peasant, am I?
00:10:07Let me tell you that my blood's as good as yours.
00:10:10Nonsense if anyone knows your father was a basket maker.
00:10:12Aha. That's where you're wrong, see?
00:10:15Because nobody knows who my father was.
00:10:16Not even me mother.
00:10:21You laugh on the other side of your face when your head comes off.
00:10:23Come on.
00:10:25I'm quite capable of making my own way.
00:10:31Nyah.
00:10:33Nyah.
00:10:43Nyah.
00:10:49Your Grace, there's an urgent letter for you.
00:10:52Oh, drop it in the basket. I'll read it later.
00:10:57Short back and sides, not too much off the top.
00:11:01One has to admire his courage.
00:11:03These aristotes are all the same.
00:11:05Anything for a giggle.
00:11:13Pauline.
00:11:14The Duke de Pomfret.
00:11:15Oh, hello.
00:11:16I'm sorry to bother you at a time like this, Your Grace.
00:11:18Oh, that's quite all right. It happens to all of us.
00:11:20Yes. A pinch?
00:11:21Thank you, no.
00:11:22Now, I represent Lords of London,
00:11:23and I was just wondering whether I could interest you in a little life insurance.
00:11:26I don't think so, thank you. Not today.
00:11:28It's a very good policy, Your Grace.
00:11:29It covers accidental death by drowning, shooting, stabbing, poisoning, banging.
00:11:33Beheading?
00:11:34No.
00:11:35Well, we can't take too many risks, you know.
00:11:37What's going on, dear?
00:11:38You, sir, how dare you obstruct the course of justice in this way?
00:11:41All right, all right. I'm only trying to make a living.
00:11:43A living?
00:11:44Are you fully covered?
00:11:45I hope so.
00:11:46Come on, come on, get off, come on.
00:11:48All right, now, go.
00:11:49Terribly sorry to keep you waiting, Your Grace.
00:11:52That's all very well.
00:11:53But this would never have happened under a royalist government.
00:11:56There's no need to make a political issue out of it.
00:11:59Carry on, Malabons.
00:12:08Now, what's the matter?
00:12:11Excuse me, but isn't the rope caught up at the top there?
00:12:14No, it isn't.
00:12:16I wish you'd mind your own business.
00:12:17I was only trying to help.
00:12:19We are quite capable of managing on our own, thank you.
00:12:21Well, I wish you'd hurry up.
00:12:23I'm getting a shocking pain in the neck down here.
00:12:25I assure you, my dear Duke, that once we get this thing working properly, you'll be the
00:12:29first to know about it.
00:12:31Excuse me, citizens.
00:12:32I think I can see what the trouble is here.
00:12:33What do you know about it?
00:12:35Plenty.
00:12:35Take that blade out.
00:12:38I'm sorry to bother you, Grace, but would you mind stepping out?
00:12:40Oh, really?
00:12:41Just as I was getting comfortable.
00:12:45Aha.
00:12:46I thought so.
00:12:47Who made this thing?
00:12:49I did.
00:12:49I approved the design, of course.
00:12:51Yes, well, you didn't do a very good job, did you?
00:12:53One of these runners got a kink in it.
00:12:55Yeah, that's what it is.
00:12:56You have got a kinky runner.
00:12:58I ain't got a kinky runner.
00:13:00Keep yourself.
00:13:04I don't see no kink.
00:13:06Oh, it's all right.
00:13:07Never worked like that.
00:13:08Of course it'll work, won't it, Malabon?
00:13:10Of course, of course.
00:13:12Do you want a bit?
00:13:12Yes, 100 francs.
00:13:15You're on.
00:13:15Right.
00:13:17We'll show him, won't we, Malabon?
00:13:19Yeah, yeah.
00:13:20We'll show him, yeah.
00:13:23Mon Dieu.
00:13:29Dear, oh dear.
00:13:30I owe you 100 francs.
00:13:32What have I done?
00:13:33Is there a doctor in the house?
00:13:35No!
00:13:37You have no right!
00:13:38Hit him off!
00:13:39Guard!
00:13:39Guard!
00:13:40Protect my person!
00:13:41Hit him off!
00:13:42Hit him off!
00:13:43Hit him off!
00:13:43I'm a faithful servant of the Republic!
00:13:45You have no right!
00:13:46Guard!
00:13:48My pleasure.
00:13:48Hit him off!
00:13:49Stay down!
00:13:50Down!
00:13:51Go!
00:13:51Go!
00:13:52Guard!
00:13:52Guard!
00:13:53Protect my person!
00:13:55Guard!
00:13:55Guard!
00:13:56Guard!
00:13:57You have no right!
00:14:00I'm Camembert!
00:14:02I'm the big cheese!
00:14:03Get off!
00:14:04Get off!
00:14:04I'm the essential member of the government!
00:14:06You have no right!
00:14:07Get him off!
00:14:08Get him off!
00:14:08Stay down!
00:14:09They told the fault of that British insurance salesman!
00:14:12Where is he?
00:14:13Where's he gone?
00:14:13I'll have his head for this!
00:14:16He's gone!
00:14:17So is the Duke de Pomfret!
00:14:19What?
00:14:20Get off!
00:14:21What is it, citizen, sir?
00:14:22The Black Fingernail!
00:14:25It seems that the English have struck again!
00:14:29Yes, citizen Robespierre, but then they say it's the one thing the English are good at, striking!
00:14:34I'm not amused!
00:14:36Neither am I!
00:14:37So, citizen head of secret police, Camembert, the one who calls himself the Black Fingernail, has fooled you again!
00:14:43Oh, I wouldn't say that, citizen!
00:14:44No, you wouldn't!
00:14:45No!
00:14:46This is his calling card!
00:14:47It was found on the guillotine after that disgraceful exhibition this afternoon!
00:14:51Yes, that's true, but he didn't fool me!
00:14:52Oh, no!
00:14:53Not for one minute!
00:14:54He didn't!
00:14:55Oh, perhaps I've got the story wrong!
00:14:57This time he posed as an insurance salesman, correct?
00:14:59Yes!
00:15:00Abducted the Duke de Pomfret from under your very nose?
00:15:02Yes!
00:15:03And tricked you into executing your own execution?
00:15:06Yes!
00:15:06And he didn't fool you for one minute?
00:15:08I knew who he was!
00:15:09I wanted to see how far he would go!
00:15:11What blooming jerk!
00:15:14He couldn't have gone very much further, could he?
00:15:17Oh, I don't know!
00:15:18We've still got the guillotine!
00:15:21Now, listen, Camembert, I want this fingernail caught!
00:15:27Do you understand me?
00:15:28Yes, citizen, but the trouble is I don't know what he looks like!
00:15:31Nobody does!
00:15:32You'd better find out!
00:15:34Or nobody will know what you look like!
00:15:36Oh, everyone always recognises me!
00:15:39Without a head!
00:15:41Now, get out of here!
00:15:43And find him!
00:15:43Yes, citizen, I'll do my best!
00:15:45But it won't be easy!
00:15:46The fingernail is a master of disguise!
00:15:48He could be anyone!
00:15:50Get out!
00:15:52Get out!
00:15:54Come now, girl!
00:15:56Admit it!
00:15:56You're a cursed aristow, aren't you?
00:15:58Come, come!
00:15:59We secret police of ways of making people talk!
00:16:02Shall we use the thumbscrews?
00:16:03No!
00:16:04No, no, we'll wait till Citizen Camembert gets here!
00:16:06If there's any screwing to be done, he'll do it!
00:16:09He's practically screwed up the revolution already!
00:16:11Ah, be there!
00:16:14All roads and other exits out of the city are guarded?
00:16:17Oh, yes, definitely, sir!
00:16:19But this woman here...
00:16:20Bridges that's securely held?
00:16:21I haven't asked her, sir!
00:16:22I said bridges, not britches!
00:16:24Oh, yes, yes, sir!
00:16:26Good!
00:16:26This accursed fingernail must be caught this time!
00:16:29If only we knew what he looked like!
00:16:31Don't worry, citizen, sir!
00:16:33I've given orders to hold anyone disguised as anyone!
00:16:36That'll be a lot of help, won't it?
00:16:38Who's this woman?
00:16:39What's she doing here?
00:16:41I was about to tell you, citizen, sir!
00:16:43She was out after curfew!
00:16:44Well, nothing wrong with a bit of, uh, after curfew, eh, madame?
00:16:48Mm-hmm.
00:16:49But you really shouldn't be out late, you know.
00:16:51Mm-hmm.
00:16:52You're a naughty girl, aren't you?
00:16:55Yes.
00:16:56And I bet you've done it before, haven't you?
00:16:59Oh, yes!
00:17:03Well, I don't think we need detain you any longer.
00:17:06You can go home now.
00:17:08Thank you, you're very kind.
00:17:14Just a moment.
00:17:17You'd better let me have your address.
00:17:19I'll be along later to, um, check-up.
00:17:32Nice little citizen thing, eh?
00:17:35You're not letting her go, sir.
00:17:37Of course I'm letting her go, bidet.
00:17:38I think you're making a great mistake, citizen, sir.
00:17:40You should get the chance to make such a mistake, citizen, bidet.
00:17:44Yes, sir, but she's probably an aristote.
00:17:47Have you ever known a lady of breeding who needed a shave?
00:17:49A shave?
00:17:50Yes.
00:17:51When she kissed me just now, I distinctly felt her stubble.
00:17:55Really?
00:17:56Why, not only that, she positively reeked of tobacco.
00:18:00Well, perhaps you're right, citizen, sir.
00:18:01Oh, of course I'm right, citizen, bidet.
00:18:06Make a note of these things and we'll make a policeman love you yet.
00:18:09Well, I must be off now, business, you know.
00:18:12Let me know immediately if there are any developments.
00:18:14Yes, citizen, sir.
00:18:15Where will you be?
00:18:16At this address.
00:18:17What is it?
00:18:18It was him.
00:18:20The black fingernail.
00:18:22Really?
00:18:27No wonder she reeked of tobacco.
00:18:29He, he, he kissed me.
00:18:34Don't worry, citizen, sir.
00:18:36It was a marvellous disguise.
00:18:38It would have fooled me.
00:18:40He did fool you, didn't he?
00:18:42What?
00:18:43You had him here in this very room and you let him go, didn't you?
00:18:46I did, citizen, sir.
00:18:47Yes, you did, citizen.
00:18:48Oh, you white white face, don't you?
00:18:52Oh, I've just remembered what I was about to try and do with him.
00:18:58He can't have got very far.
00:19:00No, neither could I.
00:19:01No, no, no, I mean out of the city.
00:19:03If we're quick, perhaps we can catch her, I mean him.
00:19:05Yes, that's right.
00:19:06Yes, he'd make for Calais if he can get past the roadblocks.
00:19:11Coachman, coachman.
00:19:12Could you call, citizen?
00:19:14Yes, prepare my coach.
00:19:15We leave at once for Calais.
00:19:17Right, citizen.
00:19:25Take Calais, pick as you can.
00:19:27Wait, wait for me, you stupid, white fool.
00:19:31Pick your ass up.
00:19:32You're supposed to make way for a superior citizen.
00:19:34Don't you know that?
00:19:35Alley, take Calais.
00:19:40Halt.
00:19:41Who goes there?
00:19:44Citizen Camembert.
00:19:49Listen, has anyone passed out within the hour?
00:19:53Only the sergeant.
00:19:54He's sleeping it off now.
00:19:56I'm looking for a woman.
00:19:58Oh, nothing doing out here, chum.
00:20:00You want to try my mantra?
00:20:01No, I don't mean that.
00:20:03Oh, I loathe these peasants.
00:20:05Give me the aristocracy any time.
00:20:07Has anyone passed through here this evening?
00:20:09No, not as far as I know, citizen.
00:20:11Well, you keep a sharp look out.
00:20:13Mind me hat.
00:20:14Keep a sharp look out.
00:20:15There may be an Englishman, a woman, and the Duke de Pomfret.
00:20:18Probably all disguised.
00:20:19What as?
00:20:20Well, how should I know?
00:20:22There'd be no point in the disguise if I knew what it was, would there?
00:20:25Oh, open the barrier.
00:20:27Coachman, Calais, with all speed.
00:20:30With pleasure, citizen.
00:20:58Oh, I'm sorry, fool.
00:21:02Wait here, coachman.
00:21:03The rest of you follow me.
00:21:04Come.
00:21:07Sorry, citizen, you're too late.
00:21:09I've already called Tomps.
00:21:11Curb your insolent tongue, wench.
00:21:13You're talking to Citizen Camembert,
00:21:15head of the secret police of the glorious new French Republic.
00:21:18Vive legality!
00:21:19Vive fraternity!
00:21:21Vive la liberté!
00:21:21Oh, shut up.
00:21:22I wish you wouldn't keep thieving all over the place.
00:21:25Now, listen to me, woman.
00:21:26Have you had any men in here disguised as women?
00:21:30Oh, I should say not.
00:21:31What other place do you think this is?
00:21:32We are looking for a man who's trying to flee the country disguised as a woman.
00:21:37Why, there's nobody here except me, and I'm just going off.
00:21:40She's gone off, if you ask me.
00:21:41She's gone off.
00:21:42Wait!
00:21:44She could be him.
00:21:45She's got the right build.
00:21:46Leave it to me, citizen, sir.
00:21:50All right, woman.
00:21:54Give us a kiss.
00:21:55Oh!
00:21:56Ow!
00:21:56Oh!
00:21:57Stop messing about!
00:21:58Oh!
00:22:02Well?
00:22:03No beard.
00:22:04Come along, then.
00:22:05We'll try the harbour.
00:22:06Come along.
00:22:09I'll let that be a lesson to you, woman.
00:22:12Oi, blackhead!
00:22:19Look!
00:22:20What?
00:22:20The horse is gone!
00:22:28The black fingernail!
00:22:29I don't believe it.
00:22:30The horse?
00:22:31He couldn't have been.
00:22:32Duke.
00:22:33Come on, Duke.
00:22:33Come on.
00:22:34Don't be where I am.
00:22:35Look out.
00:22:36Here they come.
00:22:37They can't be far away.
00:22:38That's tawny.
00:22:39We'll never get to the boat now.
00:22:40Don't worry about it.
00:22:41Just give me a hat and coat.
00:22:44Quick.
00:22:52A thousand francs for the first man who takes the fingernail alive.
00:22:55A thousand francs?
00:23:01I'll keep him busy.
00:23:02Meet you at the boat.
00:23:06You-hoo!
00:23:09It's me!
00:23:10It's he!
00:23:12After he!
00:23:13After who?
00:23:14After him!
00:23:14After you!
00:23:18You-hoo!
00:23:21Can't catch meat!
00:23:26Open the doors.
00:23:28He's in here somewhere.
00:23:43Sounds to the woman. And what a cracker.
00:23:46What means this intrusion, monsieur?
00:23:49How handsome he is. And if we each a gentleman.
00:23:52I mean you no harm, mademoiselle. Opportunity would be a fine thing.
00:23:55Please, leave at once.
00:23:58If he does, I shall surely swoon with disappointment.
00:24:01Alas, I cannot.
00:24:03Just look how that pretty bosom heaves.
00:24:05Pray, why not?
00:24:07Why does my pretty bosom heave so?
00:24:10The secret police are off to me.
00:24:13What's this pounding in my ear rolls? Could I be in love with her?
00:24:16A secret police? But why?
00:24:18Oh, my fluttering heart. Can it be I love him?
00:24:22They seek me because I am the black fingernail.
00:24:26Black fingernail? My hero in person.
00:24:30I must love her, or I certainly wouldn't have told her that.
00:24:33I and all France are in your debt, monsieur. I salute you.
00:24:40Well, that's what I call a salute.
00:24:42Oh, I would do anything for you, anything.
00:24:44Your wish is my command, and your desire is my desire.
00:24:48Really?
00:24:50Methinks if I play me cards right, I might be under a good thing here.
00:24:53Hooray! Hooray in the name of Citizen Camembert and the glorious new French Republic!
00:24:59Vive equality! Vive fraternity!
00:25:01Oh, shut up!
00:25:02Open up! We wish to search the room!
00:25:04One moment, please! You must, please!
00:25:12Open up!
00:25:15Come along in there! Open up!
00:25:17Go quickly, my dearie, it's love.
00:25:19I will return. Yes.
00:25:21Take this as a token of my undying love.
00:25:23What a beautiful locket.
00:25:25It was my mother's. It contains her last set of teeth.
00:25:28Thank you. I will think of you every time I clean them.
00:25:32Ouvrez! Ouvrez!
00:25:44Oh, I'll have another gown.
00:25:46Yes, you'd better.
00:25:47Show your authority, man!
00:25:48I can't!
00:25:49Show your authority!
00:25:50My trousers up, PJ!
00:25:52I know you, you!
00:25:55Ouvrez! Ouvrez!
00:26:00Stand aside, sir. I'll open this table.
00:26:15There he is! Seize him!
00:26:17So, the accursed fingernail is in our hands at last!
00:26:21It would seem so, monsieur.
00:26:22Oh, no!
00:26:23All your disguises and funny voices won't help you now.
00:26:26Take him below and get fresh horses.
00:26:28We'll leave for Paris immediately.
00:26:30And be...
00:26:31Be dead!
00:26:33Where is he?
00:26:45And this, you claim, is the black fingernail?
00:26:47Yes, it is in Robespierre.
00:26:50But this is a woman.
00:26:52Oh, yes!
00:26:54He may look like a woman, but the fingernail is a master of deception,
00:26:58just because he rode all the way from Calais, side saddle.
00:27:02All right, citizen Camembert. If you insist this is a man, prove it.
00:27:05Me? But how?
00:27:06How? How, he asks.
00:27:08Call yourself a Frenchman.
00:27:09If I might make a suggestion, citizen, sir.
00:27:13Well, what is it?
00:27:14Well, I have an infallible method for finding out the true sex, sir.
00:27:17Yes?
00:27:18Yes, sir. Sooner or later, sir, he or she will want to go and powder his or her nose.
00:27:24Right, sir. When that time comes, we merely put him or her in a place that has two cloakrooms, ladies
00:27:31and gents.
00:27:32Then secretly observe which one he or she goes into.
00:27:35Citizen Bidet, I really must commend you.
00:27:38Any time, citizen, any time.
00:27:41If I chopped off your head, you'd still have as much brains as you have now.
00:27:47Thank you, sir.
00:27:49I'll show you what sex she is.
00:27:53There.
00:27:54Have either of you ever seen a man looking like that?
00:27:58Well, it's marvellous what you can do with a bit of padding.
00:28:01If I could just have a bit of a prod...
00:28:03No, you cannot have a bit of a prod!
00:28:05Immersile! Admit it!
00:28:07This fingernail has made a monkey out of you yet again.
00:28:11All right, girl, tell me, where is he?
00:28:13Out of your reach.
00:28:14Safe back in England.
00:28:16It should be quite obvious to you now, Camembert.
00:28:18She and this fingernail have been in collusion together.
00:28:22Oh, no, citizen. I don't think they had time for anything like that.
00:28:27Take her away. And make her talk. And get me this fingernail.
00:28:32Yes, citizen. But it won't be easy if he's gone back to England.
00:28:36Then go to England. Find him.
00:28:39Unfrock this master of deception.
00:28:41But what if I fail?
00:28:43Then don't bother to get your hair cut!
00:28:49Go to England? What for?
00:28:51I told you. To find this accursed black fingernail.
00:28:54Well, what's going to happen to me while you're away?
00:28:56What do you mean, what's going to happen to me?
00:28:57Well, you're supposed to be my protector. Who's going to protect me?
00:29:00I can't think about things like that at the moment.
00:29:02I'm in immediate danger to watching me own head roll.
00:29:05Well, it wouldn't roll very far. It's too square.
00:29:07I wish you wouldn't keep doing that. Honestly, when you undress, it's like emptying a dustbin.
00:29:11Well, why don't you buy me a wastebasket, then?
00:29:13That's all I've ever really wanted out of life, the simple things.
00:29:17I'd like to marry a nice man with a fortune.
00:29:20And a chateau.
00:29:22And a title.
00:29:23Well, for heaven's sake, why don't you go off and marry someone with a title?
00:29:26Well, how can I when you keep slicing their blooming heads off?
00:29:29Who's that?
00:29:35Well, it's you.
00:29:38Sorry to disturb you, citizen, sir.
00:29:41I mean, you did say if it was anything important.
00:29:45Evening, citizen, miss.
00:29:52Well?
00:29:53Very nice.
00:29:54Very nice indeed.
00:29:56Well, don't just stand there, man. Get it out!
00:29:59Get it out!
00:30:01Get what out?
00:30:02Whatever it was that was so important.
00:30:04It's about the girl.
00:30:05It's like you said, sir.
00:30:06I spent half the night working on her to get information out of her.
00:30:10And what did you find out?
00:30:11Nothing.
00:30:12Nothing?
00:30:13Nothing at all?
00:30:14No, she kept mum.
00:30:15I'm not interested in her financial arrangements with her mother.
00:30:18What about the fingernail?
00:30:20Oh, well, there was this silver locket.
00:30:23It appears he'd give it to her.
00:30:24What's in it? A lock of his hair?
00:30:25No, a set of his teeth.
00:30:27A set of...
00:30:27A set of his teeth?
00:30:29Fancy keeping your teeth in a silver locket, I ask you.
00:30:33Isn't that just typical of these damned aristocrats?
00:30:35A glass of water isn't good enough.
00:30:37Mind you, sir, it'll help us to find him.
00:30:39All we've got to do is to look for a man who talked like that.
00:30:43A man who talked like that?
00:30:45That's no good.
00:30:46You know what these plutocrats are like?
00:30:48He's probably got a second set.
00:30:56What are you gawping at?
00:30:59I come from a poor family, miss, and we couldn't afford luxuries like you.
00:31:03Just a crust of bread and an occasional bit of crackling.
00:31:08Cammy, I'd be very much obliged if you'd ask this underling to take his hot, sticky eyes off me.
00:31:14Underling?
00:31:15There'll be no more of that sort of talk.
00:31:17In our glorious new republic, all are equal.
00:31:20Equality.
00:31:21Fraternity.
00:31:22Liberty.
00:31:23I don't care about the equalities and the fraternities, but I'm not having the liberties.
00:31:27Quiet, quiet, you two!
00:31:28I've got it!
00:31:29I've got it!
00:31:30Well, you didn't get it off me.
00:31:32This girl, she is the bait with which we set the trap.
00:31:35The fingernail must be in love with her.
00:31:37But how do you know?
00:31:38My dear B-Day, gentlemen don't go around giving silver lockets with their teeth in them
00:31:43to every casual acquaintance.
00:31:44I don't know.
00:31:45The English are a queer lot.
00:31:46Be that as it may, once we let him know we have this girl a prisoner, he will hasten
00:31:50back to France to rescue her and then he's in your trap.
00:31:55Then what?
00:31:56Shut your trap!
00:31:57I only asked.
00:31:58But how are we going to let him know the girl's a prisoner if we don't know who he is?
00:32:02We'll find out.
00:32:04We'll leave for England immediately.
00:32:05Let me see now.
00:32:06There's a packet leaving at dawn from Calais.
00:32:09Oh, no, no, citizen.
00:32:10It's too dangerous.
00:32:11Rubbish.
00:32:11It won't be the first time I've called a packet.
00:32:13I mean, to go to England, you know what they think of you over there.
00:32:17This is right, Cammy.
00:32:18Only aristos are welcome there now.
00:32:19Then we shall be aristos.
00:32:21Now hurry up, B-Day, order my coach.
00:32:23Yes, sir.
00:32:23And don't forget my bag.
00:32:24No, sir.
00:32:25Come on, dear.
00:32:25Not that one, you fool.
00:32:26I mean me travelling bag.
00:32:28Oh, I don't know, though.
00:32:29We'll need something to do on the journey.
00:32:34Oh, excuse me.
00:32:56You are hungry.
00:33:10I must congratulate you. A perfectly splendid charity ball. Thank you, Lady Binder. Now, do tell me, what is it
00:33:18all in aid of? S.F.A. Oh, come, it must be in aid of something. S.F.A. Stranded
00:33:25French Aristocrat.
00:33:26Oh, of course, a very worthy cause. And you've done them proud tonight. But then, you've always had magnificent balls,
00:33:36and I wouldn't miss one of them.
00:33:38Thank you, Lady Binder.
00:33:48Darcy, I've been waiting for you. What's the news from France?
00:33:51Nothing yet. We have agents making inquiries over there, but so far the girl seems to have disappeared.
00:33:55I've got to find her, Darcy. Did you tell them that they'd be able to recognize her by my mother's
00:33:59teeth?
00:33:59Yes. It's very difficult looking in every girl's mouth, you know.
00:34:03Not in her mouth, you fool, in a locket round her neck.
00:34:06What an end of me. Marvellous. No wonder they haven't been able to trace her. I'll have to go over
00:34:10myself.
00:34:11I wouldn't if I were you. There's a price on your head.
00:34:14Another thing. A couple calling themselves the Duke and Duchess de La Plume de Matande arrived in London from France
00:34:20yesterday.
00:34:21Escaped? Mm-hmm.
00:34:23Without our help? Exactly.
00:34:25There's something fishy going on, so I took the liberty of inviting them here tonight, all right?
00:34:29Good lad. It'll give us a chance to, uh, quiz them, eh?
00:34:40Oh, come along. What's the matter with you?
00:34:44It's all these humpback bridges and these English roads. I shan't be able to sit down for a week.
00:34:48I wish you wouldn't be so vulgar. Kindly remember, you're supposed to be an aristocrat.
00:34:52Well, don't they have bottoms, then?
00:34:53Of course they do, but they don't refer to them as such down here. They're called country seats.
00:34:56Oh, what do they call them in London?
00:34:58Surely you've heard of the London derriere.
00:34:59Oh, well, it'll be a long time before I can put my daddy here on a country seat.
00:35:02Ah, come on.
00:35:19Welcome to Effing House, my dears. I'm Sir Rodney Effing, 2F.
00:35:23Ah, Sir Rodney. I am Count Henri de la Plume des Martins, one pays.
00:35:30Delighted, my dear. Methinks we've met before?
00:35:32Oh, methinks not. This is my sister, the Countess Desirée.
00:35:37Time to make your acquaintance, Countess?
00:35:39Uliquid, I'm sure.
00:35:40It is seldom we're graced with such beauty.
00:35:42You're a picture, Mandel, trifle overexposed.
00:35:44You'll forgive this intrusion, Sir Rodney, but after we heard about your ball...
00:35:49Think not of it. My house is yours.
00:35:50You're very kind.
00:35:52And now you must make up for lost time.
00:35:54You've got a little behind you now.
00:35:56Oh, fancy you, Newton.
00:36:01So you've just escaped from France?
00:36:02Yes, by fishing boat.
00:36:05Oh, yes. I thought that perfume wasn't from Paris.
00:36:07We're anxious to make the acquaintance of the Black Fingernail.
00:36:12The what?
00:36:13The Black Fingernail.
00:36:14That gallant gentleman who's been helping so many of my dear compatriots to escape.
00:36:20Oh, yes. That big show-off.
00:36:21You know him, then?
00:36:22Heavens, no.
00:36:24I have no stomach for the manly virile types.
00:36:27Now, if you'll excuse me, my card is marked for this dance.
00:36:29Perhaps the Countess will honour me later with a measure.
00:36:32Delighted.
00:36:33If someone will mark my card.
00:36:36I will, Countess.
00:36:38Don't worry.
00:36:41You think that's him, sir?
00:36:42The Black Fingernail?
00:36:43Oh, that effing.
00:36:44Don't be silly.
00:36:46He seems very nice and he's got a title.
00:36:48Yes, I'm sure he has.
00:36:49And it's not one you use in product society.
00:36:51Well, what do we do now, sir?
00:36:53Circulate. Talk to people.
00:36:54Try and pick up anything that might give us a lead to the Black Fingernail.
00:36:58Circulate. Right, sir.
00:36:59But, remember, you must be circumspect.
00:37:02Oh, I was, sir.
00:37:03When I was a baby.
00:37:25Excuse me, my dear. May I cut in?
00:37:27Of course, Watney, darling.
00:37:28Thank you, my dear.
00:37:34Your friend, the Duc de la Plune de Mayant.
00:37:36What about him?
00:37:38He's the living image of Camembert.
00:37:40Lair.
00:37:40What, you mean the leader of the French secret police?
00:37:42The big cheese himself?
00:37:44What's he doing over here?
00:37:45What's he up to?
00:37:45Shh.
00:37:46Back that, Roy.
00:38:04Oh, look at me.
00:38:05Oh, she wouldn't even request an audience.
00:38:07You've got one.
00:38:08I can't help it.
00:38:09It's the bubbles that get lodged in me chest.
00:38:11There's room for a few lodgers there.
00:38:14Well, I've got a lead over there.
00:38:15Psst.
00:38:16What?
00:38:16Psst.
00:38:17Don't be ridiculous.
00:38:18I've only had a couple.
00:38:20No, no, no, no.
00:38:21I think I've got a lead over there.
00:38:26The Duc de Pomfret.
00:38:31Do go on with your story, Duke.
00:38:33It's so thrilling.
00:38:34Oh, yes.
00:38:35Well, I was telling you.
00:38:35There I was, face down on the guillotine, with a basket full of dirty great heads staring
00:38:39right up at me.
00:38:40I've often wondered, what happens to all the heads?
00:38:43Oh, my dear, they have a special place for them.
00:38:44They call it the Napper's Yard.
00:38:48Do go on with your story, Duke.
00:38:49It's so thrilling.
00:38:50Well, the drum roll stopped.
00:38:52Everything went extremely harsh.
00:38:54Gosh, the executioner pulled the handle, and the knife came hurtling down, and bounced
00:38:58off the back of my neck.
00:39:00Bounced off the back of your neck?
00:39:01Yes.
00:39:01I had them fooled, you see.
00:39:03I was wearing a hard collar.
00:39:06Well, before they had time to recover themselves, I lived to my feet.
00:39:10I seized the sword, and I laid into them.
00:39:13Take that.
00:39:13Take that.
00:39:14Take this.
00:39:15Take that.
00:39:15Take this.
00:39:16Take that.
00:39:17Take that.
00:39:17Take that.
00:39:17Take that.
00:39:18Take that.
00:39:19And I must say, they took it very well.
00:39:21How many did you kill?
00:39:22Oh, six.
00:39:23Seven.
00:39:24Six or seven.
00:39:25What a bloody sight it must have been.
00:39:27Oh, my dear, if my sword hadn't bogeyed, it'd have been a bloody sight more.
00:39:30But what of the black fingernail?
00:39:32Was it not he who saved you?
00:39:33Him?
00:39:34Oh, no, my dear.
00:39:35He was above the place, but I didn't need him.
00:39:37Do it that, sir.
00:39:38What a load of bull.
00:39:39All men talk nonsense in their cups, beauty.
00:39:42It's what we call cock au vin.
00:39:44Oh, same.
00:39:45I bet he knows who the black fingernail is.
00:39:47I say.
00:39:48Would any of you young ladies care to join me for a stroll in the garden?
00:39:52I know a nice, quiet little nook.
00:40:00Not the nooky tights, obviously.
00:40:02Oh, well.
00:40:04Follow him, Desiree.
00:40:05See what you can find out.
00:40:06Why me?
00:40:06Because you are a woman, and women can do things to disarm a man.
00:40:11Oh, but the looks of him, he isn't even armed.
00:40:13Do as I say.
00:40:14Oh, all right.
00:40:15But I warn you, one hint of the old watsit and I'm turning it in.
00:40:20Follow her, B-Day.
00:40:22Watch what she does.
00:40:23Why, don't you trust her?
00:40:24Not all are as loyal to me as you are, my faithful B-Day.
00:40:30Thank you, sir.
00:40:33Wish I had someone to follow him.
00:40:37That's him over there.
00:40:38The one who looks like you're smelling something nasty.
00:40:40What do you think?
00:40:41Difficult to tell with that wig on.
00:40:43Yes, if we can think of some way of getting it off.
00:40:46Like a nice, juicy sneeze.
00:40:59Ah, Sir Rodney.
00:41:01All alone, my dear Count.
00:41:02Where's your gorgeous sister?
00:41:03They just popped out.
00:41:05That sort of thing is bound to happen with those low-cut gowns.
00:41:08Oh, I beg your pardon.
00:41:10You do take snuff.
00:41:10But taking up snuff is a vice of the degenerate aristocracy, and I love it.
00:41:15Oh, then you go simply mad about this one.
00:41:17This one is very special.
00:41:21Rather mild for my taste, I fancy.
00:41:29My wig!
00:41:31Where's my wig?
00:41:32Oh!
00:41:47Excuse me, madam.
00:41:48That's my wig, I think.
00:41:51That's more like it.
00:41:53Oh.
00:41:54Well, perhaps not.
00:42:23Oh, my gosh.
00:42:33Oh, excuse me, but I seem to have dropped my handkerchief somewhere.
00:42:36Oh, it was yours, was it? I did see it somewhere.
00:42:39Oh, don't bother, really. I... I...
00:42:43What is it?
00:42:44I feel a little worn.
00:42:46Oh, dear. Then perhaps you'd better sit down.
00:42:49Oh, cane joie.
00:42:51Is there somewhere we can be quiet and undisturbed?
00:42:53Oh, rather. There is a beautiful spot in the arbor.
00:42:57Oh, really? I had no idea we were so in the other sea.
00:43:00Ha, ha, ha, come.
00:43:12What a quaint little place.
00:43:14It is called a love pavilion.
00:43:17Oh, really? I wonder where.
00:43:19Yes, how do I. This marble seat is enough to call anyone's ardor.
00:43:23However...
00:43:24Why, sir, what are you doing?
00:43:26Mamsel, may I say that you are the most ravishingly beautiful woman I have ever seen?
00:43:31Am I really?
00:43:33No, no, sir, you mustn't. I bring you to sit still.
00:43:36Here, knock it off.
00:43:38What's wrong?
00:43:39Well, there is something I want from you.
00:43:41Oh, well, that's all right, then.
00:43:43As long as we're both together on the same line.
00:43:45No, no, sir.
00:43:46Besides, I insist we have a little talk first.
00:43:49Oh, very well, then.
00:43:51What about?
00:43:52I believe you'll know who the black fingernail is.
00:43:55Yes.
00:43:56Well, I enjoyed that little chat.
00:43:58Now, then...
00:43:58I haven't finished yet.
00:43:59Besides, my brother, the count, wishes to meet him.
00:44:03I'm afraid that is impossible.
00:44:05You see, I promise never to reveal his identity.
00:44:08Not even to please me.
00:44:10Not even to please you.
00:44:12Not even if I were to please you.
00:44:15Not even if you were to...
00:44:18Oh, that's different.
00:44:20I say, how pleasing do you think you can get?
00:44:24As pleasing as...
00:44:29That, for example?
00:44:30One or two more examples like that, and you can please yourself.
00:44:34Pam here, you little vixen.
00:44:35Stop it! Stop it!
00:44:37I can't stop it!
00:44:38I'm a heart, some pounding, my breasts, some pounding!
00:44:41Yes, but you answered, Pam.
00:44:42Get off!
00:44:43Viva l'amore!
00:44:44Down with everything!
00:44:48Dorothy, my dear, you really must be more careful where you sneeze.
00:44:51You're quite upset poor Monsieur Camembert.
00:44:53What's that?
00:44:54What did you call me?
00:44:55Aye.
00:44:55You called me Monsieur Camembert.
00:44:56Why?
00:44:57Oh, do forgive me.
00:44:58A slip of the tongue.
00:44:59The fact is, you look remarkably like a chap here of that name we met in Paris.
00:45:02Do you remember, Dorothy?
00:45:03Oh, yes.
00:45:03A weasley-faced little runt
00:45:05who tried to sell us those funny postcards.
00:45:08That's the one.
00:45:09Of course, it couldn't possibly be you, could it, Count?
00:45:11Do I look like a man who sells funny postcards?
00:45:14Not a bit.
00:45:15Actually, you look more like the chappy on the funny postcards.
00:45:18I hardly think that's possible.
00:45:20That's what I said to Rodney when I saw the postcards.
00:45:22Forgive me, gentlemen.
00:45:23I find this conversation rather boring.
00:45:25Well, then, let's change it, Count.
00:45:28Did you have any luck finding that chappy you were seeking?
00:45:30What did you call him?
00:45:31The, uh, big toenail?
00:45:33The black fingernail.
00:45:35Ah, yes, of course.
00:45:36Aren't I a silly effing?
00:45:41Excuse me, gentlemen.
00:45:42I see my secretary wishes to speak to me.
00:45:46Well?
00:45:47She's with him, sir.
00:45:48Pomfret in the garden.
00:45:49Excellent.
00:45:50Is she getting it?
00:45:51Not half.
00:45:52What do you mean?
00:45:54I'd what off?
00:45:55His gloves.
00:45:57Bad news, my dear, Clowns.
00:45:59On the contrary, sir.
00:46:00I fancy my quest for the black fingernail
00:46:02will soon be at an end.
00:46:14Oh, never again.
00:46:15The next time you want information,
00:46:17you can get it yourself.
00:46:18Have you suffered a distressing experience?
00:46:20Distressing?
00:46:21Talk about wandering hands.
00:46:22You could write a couple of travel books.
00:46:23Yes, well, never mind about that.
00:46:24Did you get the information?
00:46:26I want it.
00:46:26Oh, yes.
00:46:27He knows who the black fingernail is all right.
00:46:31Oh, there you are.
00:46:33Oh, hello, Duke.
00:46:34Naughty little girl.
00:46:35Running off like that
00:46:36just when my resistance was weakening.
00:46:39Oh, Duke, this is my brother,
00:46:40the one where I was talking to you about.
00:46:42Hello.
00:46:42Delighted to meet you, Duke.
00:46:43My sister says you have some information for me.
00:46:47Oh, you must be the one
00:46:49who's looking for the black fingernail.
00:46:51Yes, I am.
00:46:52There you are.
00:46:57Oh, why can't we go back home?
00:47:00I'm fed up with this country.
00:47:02All they seem to want you to do
00:47:03is to talk about their parents.
00:47:05What do you mean?
00:47:06Well, I've had dozens of men come up to me
00:47:07and say, what about a bit of ours, your father?
00:47:10Well, what else can you expect
00:47:12from a bunch of beef eaters?
00:47:14Why don't they eat frogs' legs and snails
00:47:16like normal people do?
00:47:18Oh, the English have always been a very backward lot.
00:47:20Do you know, they're still taking people's heads off by hand?
00:47:23Oh, no.
00:47:25It doesn't surprise me.
00:47:26People who keep false teeth at silver lockets
00:47:28are capable of anything.
00:47:29The locket, I almost forgot.
00:47:31We may trap the fingernail yet.
00:47:33Put this round your neck.
00:47:34Oh, no, not that horrible thing.
00:47:35It's got false teeth in it.
00:47:37Oh, that's all right.
00:47:38They won't bite you.
00:47:39Oh, all right.
00:47:40Here they are.
00:47:40When you go back in the ballroom,
00:47:42make sure you dance with every man there if you have to,
00:47:45but also make sure he gets a good look at that.
00:47:49They always do.
00:47:51I mean the locket.
00:47:52Oh.
00:47:53Go on, then.
00:47:54And don't forget, keep flashing it.
00:47:57Watch her be there.
00:47:58Report to me immediately if anyone recognizes the locket.
00:48:01Oh, yes, sir.
00:48:13I see you're admitting my locket.
00:48:15What locket?
00:48:16What locket?
00:48:17What locket?
00:48:23Excuse me.
00:48:27Pretty, isn't it?
00:48:29Magnificent.
00:48:29Here, have a good look.
00:48:30That better?
00:48:31Yes, thank you.
00:48:32It was rather in the way.
00:48:34Oh.
00:48:35Excuse me.
00:48:54Um, excuse me, but, um, that locket.
00:48:58Yes?
00:48:59What about it?
00:49:00Would you mind taking it off?
00:49:02It keeps bashing me in the face.
00:49:05It does.
00:49:07Well, it's not the worst.
00:49:07Oh, yes.
00:49:23Oh, yes.
00:49:29It does.
00:49:36It'll really surround me.
00:49:38This chain round your neck, may I pull it?
00:49:40Please do.
00:49:44Where did you get that?
00:49:46You recognize it?
00:49:47Yes, it was mine. I gave it to...
00:49:48Yes.
00:49:49I must talk to you alone.
00:49:51Yeah.
00:49:52In the arbor in five minutes.
00:50:17You didn't tell anyone about our assignation.
00:50:20I didn't even tell them we was meeting.
00:50:22Clever girl.
00:50:26Oh, sir, you mustn't.
00:50:29I must say it, though.
00:50:31I must confess his kiss-kindles are flaming me.
00:50:34I simply cannot help it.
00:50:36I'm absolutely enamored of you.
00:50:39I've got to say, even if she does get on my wick.
00:50:41And I have you from the first moment we met.
00:50:45Oh, how can I betray him to Cammy?
00:50:48This is a bit of luck.
00:50:49I'll be able to find out where she got that locket from.
00:50:51My little poodle.
00:50:53I never knew the Englishman could love so.
00:50:55Hold me close again, I pray you.
00:50:57I cannot if you are the black fingernail and an enemy of France.
00:51:02How did you know that?
00:51:03Oh, because you recognised the locket.
00:51:04It was set there to trip you.
00:51:06By Camembert.
00:51:07And you know who he is?
00:51:08From the moment I saw it.
00:51:09Now, tell me, I've got to know,
00:51:10where is the girl you got that locket from?
00:51:12I will tell you if...
00:51:14If what?
00:51:15If you will make me thine.
00:51:17Make you mine?
00:51:18Make me thine.
00:51:20I don't think I can go that far.
00:51:23Look, I want to be Lady Rodney Effing.
00:51:26Yes, all right, providing you promise not to tell Camembert that I am the black fingernail.
00:51:31Gladly.
00:51:32Right.
00:51:32Now then, about that girl.
00:51:35Camembert.
00:51:37As her prisoner.
00:51:39The Bastille.
00:51:40I know what he is.
00:51:41Where is the girl?
00:51:42I've just told you she's in the Bastille.
00:51:45Oh, swine, I'll kill it.
00:51:47No, no, you must not do that.
00:51:49He has left orders that if he does not return within the week, she will go to the guillotine.
00:51:54Now, I've got to get back to France immediately.
00:51:55Here!
00:51:56What about our bargain?
00:51:58I haven't forgotten it.
00:51:58Well, then seal it.
00:52:00I haven't got any feeling, wag.
00:52:01Oh, I have.
00:52:02Now, wag him!
00:52:03Wag him!
00:52:04Wag him!
00:52:04Wag him!
00:52:04Wag him!
00:52:07It worked.
00:52:08It worked.
00:52:08We've got him.
00:52:09Who is it?
00:52:09Who?
00:52:09You'll never guess.
00:52:11Sir Rodney.
00:52:12What?
00:52:12That effing impossible.
00:52:14No, Tim, all right.
00:52:15I heard him say the locket was his.
00:52:16I can't believe it.
00:52:18That fiddlesome fop.
00:52:20That doodling dandy prat.
00:52:23The black fingernail.
00:52:24Yes.
00:52:25Shall I do him now?
00:52:26No, no, no.
00:52:27This must be handled with caution.
00:52:28We're not in France now.
00:52:29In this ridiculous country, you must have a reason for killing someone.
00:52:32Where is he now?
00:52:33In the Rose Arbor with Desiree.
00:52:35In the Rose Arbor?
00:52:37Doing what?
00:52:38Well, you can bet your life they're not watching the plants.
00:52:41He's played right into my hands.
00:52:45I'll walk in there, surprise them both at it, play the outraged brother, and challenge
00:52:50him to a duel.
00:52:51The...
00:52:51Ow!
00:52:53Aren't you, uh, aren't you taking a bit of a chance, sir?
00:52:56You seem to forget me, dear.
00:52:57I am the finest pistol shot in France.
00:53:00And it's obvious he is no use with any sort of weapon.
00:53:03You wouldn't say that if you'd seen him in the Rose Arbor.
00:53:07I'll, uh, go and fetch a duel in pistol, sir.
00:53:09Oh, but just to be on the safe side, and make sure you only load one with ball.
00:53:12Oh, yes.
00:53:17What's this I see?
00:53:19Oh, my own sister ravaged before my very eyes.
00:53:23No, no, it's the other way around.
00:53:24You despicable car, sir.
00:53:26I demand immediate satisfaction.
00:53:29There seems to be a failing in your family.
00:53:31Enough, sir.
00:53:31You have insulted the honour of the De La Plumes to say nothing of my chance.
00:53:36Ooh, that hurt.
00:53:37As the injured party, I have the choice of swords or pistols.
00:53:41Oh, well, we won't quarrel over that.
00:53:42You have the swords, I'll have the pistols.
00:53:44Do not jest, sir.
00:53:46Believe me, I am deadly earnest.
00:53:49And I am living, Rodney, and I'm going to stay that way.
00:53:51You have no choice.
00:53:53This is an affair of honour.
00:53:54We meet at dawn.
00:53:56Couldn't we make it a bit later?
00:53:57I always sleep until midday.
00:53:59At dawn, sir, one hour from now.
00:54:01Oh, very well.
00:54:03Where?
00:54:03You may choose the location.
00:54:05What about the Garden of Fragrance?
00:54:07The Garden of Fragrance, it is, sir.
00:54:09They say the scent's lovely there in the morning.
00:54:12Till dawn, then.
00:54:18What hour is it?
00:54:21Minute before dawn, sir.
00:54:23I know.
00:54:24Here they come.
00:54:25Can't say I admire your choice of locations.
00:54:27I know what I'm doing.
00:54:29The horse is ready?
00:54:29Waiting.
00:54:30Do you intend to kill him?
00:54:31No, I can't.
00:54:31And if I do, he'll have the girl's head.
00:54:32We've just got to delay him long enough for us to get a good start.
00:54:39Morning.
00:54:40Well, here we are, then.
00:54:41What happens now?
00:54:42What happens now?
00:54:43Haven't you ever fought a duel before?
00:54:45Only with Concord.
00:54:46It's going to be a piece of cake, sir.
00:54:48Really?
00:54:48I've never had a fight with cake.
00:54:50With me?
00:54:51What's he doing here?
00:54:53The Duke de Pomfret has agreed to act as referee.
00:54:55Good morning, gentlemen.
00:54:56A lovely day.
00:54:57Are we all ready?
00:54:58Yes.
00:54:59Splendid.
00:54:59Now, I want a good, keen fight.
00:55:01No fouling, plenty of action, and no shooting below the belt.
00:55:04Right?
00:55:05Right.
00:55:05Right.
00:55:06Now, then, arm yourselves, gentlemen, please.
00:55:13For me?
00:55:14Oh, thanks.
00:55:16You're only supposed to have one.
00:55:18Yes, only one.
00:55:23Well, for heaven's sake, get on with it.
00:55:25Now, now, temper-temper.
00:55:27Now, I am the referee, and we shall start when I am ready.
00:55:30Ah.
00:55:30Ready?
00:55:32Seconds.
00:55:33Out.
00:55:36Hmm.
00:55:37Well done.
00:55:38Now, then, will you face me, gentlemen, please?
00:55:42Splendid.
00:55:43Now, when I give the signal, you will turn.
00:55:46Walk ten paces and fire.
00:55:48Are we ready?
00:55:49Good show.
00:55:59I say, you're a bit close, aren't you?
00:56:01You nincompoop, you're supposed to go the other way.
00:56:04Which other way?
00:56:04Over there.
00:56:05Go on.
00:56:06Did you see that?
00:56:07He deliberately pushed me.
00:56:09Come back here at once.
00:56:18I'm very cross with you.
00:56:20Another incident like that, and I shall send you both off.
00:56:22Well, he started it.
00:56:23No, I did not.
00:56:24Yes, you did.
00:56:25That's enough.
00:56:26Really?
00:56:27All this fuss over a silly little girl.
00:56:30Now, take your position to game.
00:56:32We will start back to back this time.
00:56:37That is better.
00:56:38Now, are you ready?
00:56:41I love you.
00:56:42Perry, I beg you.
00:56:43No.
00:56:44No.
00:56:45Don't kill him.
00:56:46I love him.
00:56:48No.
00:56:49Get out of the way, woman.
00:56:51Get off.
00:56:51Get off.
00:56:53Get her off.
00:56:54Get that fight off the pitch.
00:56:56Oh, oh.
00:56:57I have never seen anything like it.
00:57:00You're a disgrace.
00:57:02If I may say so, sir, you're showing an extraordinary lack of control.
00:57:06So are you in those draughters.
00:57:07No, you mind your own business.
00:57:09Now, for the last time, gentlemen, Paces, please.
00:57:12Yes.
00:57:13Oh, thank you.
00:57:16Are you ready?
00:57:17Excuse me.
00:57:18Oh, what is it now?
00:57:19Could we make it 15 paces instead of 10?
00:57:22What on earth for?
00:57:22Well, 15 is my lucky number, you think.
00:57:24No, all right, all right, all right, 15 paces, for heaven's sake, let's get this thing over with.
00:57:28So, let's walk, let's walk, let's walk.
00:57:38Ah.
00:57:40Oh, no.
00:57:42Get off.
00:57:44Oh, no.
00:57:45Oh, no.
00:57:50was it the uh the cesspit where he belongs
00:57:53oh he's right in it this time that's why you picked this place yeah that's it get the horses
00:57:59come on
00:58:14looks like you've lost your newfound love
00:58:36hello what's happened no chopping today oh it's too early the unions won't let them work before
00:58:40breakfast i don't know why you didn't get rid of old stinky camembert when you had the chance
00:58:45you stupid darcy if camembert doesn't get back to france alive the girl's gonna get a chop
00:58:50now then where is this bastille pomfrey where is it i haven't got it you've been there oh they are
00:58:55yes of course follow me
00:59:08i shall want half your detachment captain yes citizen right up you follow
00:59:39we're too late
00:59:44he hasn't got a search she's still here look i can see that for myself you're a great nitwit
00:59:49citizen nitwit if you don't mind sir in our new people's republic all are entitled yes yes i know
00:59:55all that rubbish so mamsell we meet again i'm not afraid of you send me to the guillotine if you
01:00:02will
01:00:02you will never learn the identity of the black figure nail from me i don't need to mamsell i already
01:00:07know who he is what yes an english fop a dancing dandy and mincing ninny his name is sir rodney
01:00:16effing with
01:00:18two f's sir rodney effing with two f's even his name is music to my ears furthermore i happen to
01:00:25know
01:00:25that he's in paris even now and that he intends to try to rescue you and when he does try
01:00:31i shall be
01:00:32waiting for him oh what a dust of skim now now none of filthy bourgeois language here thank you i
01:00:38shall not
01:00:38let him come here i shall get warning to him somehow i thought you might try that so i've arranged
01:00:43to
01:00:44have you secretly conveyed to another place of detention come i can't stand it i'm going in
01:00:52you you must be joking there's too many of them we're not even armed so what who knows what's
01:00:58happening to her in there death or even a fake worse than death well i shouldn't worry i haven't
01:01:03tried death but i've tried the other thing it's not half as bad as they say somebody's coming
01:01:25right you know where to take her yes citizen pickering and guard her well if you value your head
01:01:33i want two men on duty near her old cell night and day captain yes citizen and you bidet will
01:01:42remain
01:01:42in her cell if anyone tries to get in arrest them immediately no matter who or what they look like
01:01:48understand don't worry citizen sir he won't fool me with any of his disguises again good let me know
01:01:54the moment anything happens i shall be in my office nice of them to tell us they're setting a trap
01:02:05yes
01:02:06isn't it we'll make good use of it how well first thing we've got to do is find out where
01:02:11they've taken
01:02:11it's very simple it's very simple come on
01:03:04what at last at last
01:03:28what are you doing i'm arresting you that's what i'm doing you fall i all have your senses it's me
01:03:32citizen camembert yes yes of course and i'm madame pompadour don't you take that home with me you
01:03:37insolent upstart watch it watch it oh you've made a right mess of this one haven't you you don't
01:03:43even look like citizen camembert but i am him i mean he yes yes we'll see about that god you
01:03:48fool
01:03:50does this look like she doesn't come on better you no not half ugly enough no we're there
01:03:55a beady little eye and that long snotty nose and the rabbit teeth see all right take him away
01:04:00fools out of your heads for this where are you taking me to citizen camembert but i am
01:04:10he's not here of course he's not here because i'm him why don't we take him straight through the
01:04:22citizen robespierre will you please tell these fools who i am well who are you i don't believe it
01:04:28you know me citizen camembert little cammy i know citizen camembert very well but who are you oh no
01:04:37oh i caught him trying to rescue the girl in the cell sir well done b dave of course the
01:04:42idea for
01:04:43the trap was mine citizen your idea don't believe in the two-faced little rat the girl isn't in the
01:04:49cell i had her removed so the fingernail couldn't get her oh where to the chateau nerf chateau nerf eh
01:04:56with a guard of 20 soldiers over her now would i know all that if i weren't camembert
01:05:01i'll look into it bidet guard him well yes sir you two come with me
01:05:09so trapping the fingernail was your idea was it yes that's right of course citizen camembert's not
01:05:14a bad old stick but he hasn't got it up here like me you know you stupid great fool what
01:05:20is that
01:05:20oh no citizen robespierre no it can't be just went out it wasn't him that went out you blithering
01:05:35idiot that was a fingernail he's done it again then you must be camembert yes now will you believe me
01:05:43you blithering idiot oh no the girl i told him where she is my coach quick
01:06:06well there we are the shadow now or as you would call it number nine it's well named won't be
01:06:11easy to
01:06:12take not against 20 soldiers are those doors the only way in there yet they look pretty solid to
01:06:17me we'll need a ramp we passed one in the field that was a you oh never mind about that
01:06:21i got a
01:06:21better idea come pad it come on
01:06:42i don't know
01:06:52yeah what about me
01:06:58well hurry nice man is that muscle
01:07:01oh
01:07:11Oh, it's you citizen. The girl, is she all right?
01:07:14Oh yes, citizen. Fine. Thank goodness for that. We're in time. What's all of that?
01:07:27What's going on in here?
01:07:37Stop it! Stop it at once! Get off the furniture, you lunge!
01:07:41How dare you see it all? Traces empty! How dare you spoil beautiful things with your grabby seat marks!
01:07:47It's a disgrace! What's she doing with that arp?
01:07:49Plucking it, citizen. I didn't think she was knitting herself a jumper.
01:07:53I didn't see there was any harm in letting her have a bit of freedom.
01:07:55No harm when the fingernail may arrive here at any moment.
01:07:58Take her to the top room of the high tower.
01:08:01Yes, citizen. But there's a window there. He might see her at it.
01:08:04Fool! I want him to see her at it. She is the bait that will draw him into my final
01:08:10trap.
01:08:10Yes, citizen. Right, you two. Bring the girl. Follow me.
01:08:23Oh, filthy great louts. Oh, absolute vandalism. They don't appreciate good stuff when they see it.
01:08:30What's all the fuss about? A crummy old bit of furniture?
01:08:33Crammy? This was the home of Prince Jacques de Teville, one of the greatest art collectors in France.
01:08:39Every piece in it is priceless. So what? It's not yours, is it?
01:08:42Yes. It was presented to me as a reward for all my services to the revolution.
01:08:48Who by? Me, of course. Oh.
01:08:50But what about Prince Jacques de Torville? Never mind Jacques. I'm all right.
01:08:54Yes, but where do I fit in? Wouldn't you like to be mistress of all this?
01:08:57No, I'm finished with all that. It's marriage for me now or nothing. The Princess de Ziré de Chateau Neuf.
01:09:03Yes, I like the sound of that. We'll see. We'll see. Come.
01:09:07I must show you the private apartments. They're absolutely magnificent.
01:09:11Why, do you know, even the China thing is Dresden. Bidet?
01:09:14Yes, citizen, sir? I shall want top security here.
01:09:16Remember, this is my final trap, and she is the bait.
01:09:20And what a smashing bit of cheese, sir.
01:09:42Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, isn't this lovely?
01:09:48What's that mirror up there for?
01:09:50Oh, as I was telling you, the Prince was a great connector, you know.
01:09:53Oh, yes. It had some beautiful pieces.
01:09:56Just look at this wardrobe here.
01:09:59Oh! These are the Prince's?
01:10:02His wife's. I was going to say.
01:10:05Oh, look at this beautiful one.
01:10:07Would you like me to get it out for you?
01:10:08Oh, yes, can I?
01:10:09There we are.
01:10:10Oh! Oh!
01:10:11Oh! Oh!
01:10:13Isn't it lovely?
01:10:15Why don't you try it on?
01:10:16Can I?
01:10:17Of course.
01:10:18Oh, Gabby! Oh, this is fun!
01:10:20Why don't you get the dress off?
01:10:41Why are these doors bolted?
01:10:42So the fingernail can't get in, of course.
01:10:44Imbecile! We want him in! That's the trap!
01:10:46Open them at once!
01:10:47Yes, but I'll...
01:10:47Open the door!
01:10:48I've had my order, Citizen.
01:10:50Oh.
01:10:50Well, never mind. I'll do it.
01:11:06Well, come along.
01:11:07Wait a minute. The doors are open.
01:11:08I know, but they opened them.
01:11:10What was that noise?
01:11:11PJ! PJ! Where are you?
01:11:23I don't like it. It looks like a trap.
01:11:25Rodney's right.
01:11:25It's the old spider and the fly trick.
01:11:28We'll have to find another way in.
01:11:29I've got to get into Jacqueline's room somehow.
01:11:33It would be marvellous.
01:11:35Can't trust him to do a thing without making a mess of it.
01:11:37B-Day! B-Day!
01:11:40B-Day! Are you all right?
01:11:41B-Day!
01:11:43Mother!
01:11:44Sorry, Citizen, Sir.
01:11:46Oh, I can't think straight.
01:11:48My brain's not working properly.
01:11:49Yes, he's all right.
01:11:50Perfectly normal.
01:11:51The Blackfinger Day will be here any minute.
01:11:54And remember, no shooting.
01:11:55I don't want any bullet holes in my furniture.
01:11:57All right, back to your stations.
01:11:58Keep out of sight.
01:11:59Yes, Citizen.
01:12:08Are you sure this thing's gonna get me up there?
01:12:10We used it at the Seas of Agincar.
01:12:13All right, go on.
01:12:13Let me go, sir.
01:12:21I can't believe this.
01:12:33I can't believe this.
01:12:44and you never kept it i promise you if you help me you'll marry your title
01:12:48oh no bright see that wet see it dry if i break my promise you can spit me out
01:12:53not now well all right it's a deal
01:13:03and what pray is the meaning of this intrusion what was that crash oh that well i had a little
01:13:08accident opening the window a little accident that was worth thousands of francs it's a stained
01:13:14glass window well if it was stained it needed replacing didn't it it needed someone's been in
01:13:21here don't be silly i don't believe you search the room please yourself i will
01:13:49you
01:13:50citizen sir what is it look earmuffs you idiot and knee pads
01:14:14i've got him a black figure there he's trapped citizen camembert citizen
01:14:20i'm a bad
01:14:22oh
01:14:47Hello, is Citizen Karenware wants me to speak to the girl?
01:14:51Certainly, madam.
01:15:03Oh, that was a hair-raising experience.
01:15:07You?
01:15:09Yes, it's me.
01:15:12You said you would come back.
01:15:13Yes, I said I would come back.
01:15:14And you are here.
01:15:15And I am here.
01:15:16Just like you said you would.
01:15:18Just like I said I would.
01:15:19Oh, all right.
01:15:19He said he'd be back in his ear.
01:15:20What are you trying to do?
01:15:21Make a play of it?
01:15:22But I never thought you would come back like this.
01:15:24It was the only way.
01:15:26You took a big risk.
01:15:27No, half as big as the one I took.
01:15:29I love you.
01:15:30And I love you.
01:15:33Oh, that's enough.
01:15:36Come on, let's get out of here.
01:15:37But how?
01:15:38I've got friends.
01:15:39Here.
01:15:40See?
01:15:41They're waiting for my signal.
01:15:45Right, my friend.
01:15:46To arms.
01:15:52In case it slipped your mind, you're supposed to be getting us out of here.
01:15:55Eh?
01:15:56Oh, yes.
01:15:57Right, tell you what.
01:15:58You go first and we'll follow.
01:16:00In a couple of days.
01:16:00Oh, no, you don't.
01:16:02We all go together or not at all.
01:16:04All right, then.
01:16:05Spoilsport.
01:16:06Go on.
01:16:07Make a noise.
01:16:07Call for help.
01:16:19Stay here or send you when it's over.
01:16:21Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:16:24Yoo-hoo.
01:16:25It's me.
01:16:26The black fingernail.
01:16:27After him.
01:16:28Good.
01:16:31Hold all the doors, Bidet.
01:16:34We've got him in the trap.
01:16:35Yes, sir.
01:16:48Come on, Pomfret.
01:16:50Ah.
01:16:51Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
01:16:52Come on.
01:16:53Fend yourself, you coxy name.
01:16:55I'll have you arrested for this.
01:16:56You know what you're doing, don't you?
01:16:58You're masquerading.
01:16:59Help!
01:17:00Help!
01:17:01Help!
01:17:02Help!
01:17:02Attacks!
01:17:03Stay night!
01:17:04Ah!
01:17:05Ah!
01:17:06Ah!
01:17:07Ah!
01:17:08Ah!
01:17:08Ah!
01:17:08Ah!
01:17:17Ah!
01:17:19Ah!
01:17:20Ah!
01:17:21Ah!
01:17:22Ah!
01:17:23Ah!
01:17:25Ah!
01:17:26Ah!
01:17:26Ah!
01:17:26Ah!
01:17:28No, no!
01:17:28Shoot!
01:17:29Mind the furniture!
01:17:32No, no! Use your swords!
01:18:00Oh, no!
01:18:11Oh, no!
01:18:13Oh, no!
01:18:17Oh, no!
01:18:19Oh, no!
01:18:20Oh, no!
01:18:20Oh, no!
01:18:20Oh, no!
01:18:21Tremendous blood!
01:18:23Ah!
01:18:23Oh, hold them off!
01:18:26Oh, oh!
01:18:38Oh, no!
01:18:39Oh, no!
01:18:39Oh, no!
01:18:41Oh, no!
01:18:41Oh, no!
01:18:42Oh, no!
01:18:42Oh, no!
01:18:46You'll pay for that window!
01:18:48You'll pay for it, you hear?
01:18:51Oh, no!
01:18:52Oh, no!
01:18:56Oh, no!
01:18:57Oh, no!
01:19:06Hey!
01:19:29Can't you be more careful?
01:19:31Ruin me, petty boy!
01:19:42It could never have happened before the revolution!
01:20:04Oh, beautiful thing! Irreplaceable!
01:20:24Wait!
01:20:25Mind the vase!
01:20:27Here!
01:20:29Ready?
01:20:40Oh, no! One of the finest collections in France!
01:20:46Bruin! Bruin! Gone forever!
01:20:48Come on!
01:20:52Come on!
01:20:55Come here!
01:20:59Come on!
01:21:09Go!
01:21:10Get out!
01:21:11Oh, yeah.
01:22:10Oh
01:22:16It won't be a minute, Duke.
01:22:18Oh, no, not the heart.
01:22:23Oh, I say.
01:22:34Thank you, Duke.
01:22:41Spandles, years to make.
01:22:45Oh, beautiful thing.
01:22:54Bidet, bidet, speak to me.
01:22:58Oh, me bust.
01:23:01Oh, no, beautiful thing.
01:23:15Oh, shut up.
01:23:16Let's go.
01:23:26Look out, Rodney.
01:23:30Oh, no.
01:23:31What have I done?
01:23:35Well, Monsieur Cheezface, the reckoning has come.
01:23:37All right, Sir Rodney, you win.
01:23:38Now give up.
01:23:39What shall we do with him, Darcy?
01:23:41Well, there are lots of things we could do with him.
01:23:43Hang him, drown him.
01:23:45Or just ventilate him.
01:23:47I'm coming, citizen, sir.
01:23:49No.
01:23:51Oh, no.
01:23:52Oh, no.
01:23:53No.
01:23:54No.
01:23:55Rodney, bring the girls.
01:24:01Come on.
01:24:02Let's get out of here.
01:24:04Come on, Paul, drink.
01:24:05Pull it out.
01:24:08Come on, man.
01:24:09Come on, isn't it?
01:24:13Let's get out of here.
01:24:14Come on.
01:24:36Well, anyway, we've drawn a big crowd, sir.
01:24:38I have, you mean.
01:24:39You don't think they've come to see your miserable head fall, do you?
01:24:42I hope the rain keeps off.
01:24:44I forgot my hat.
01:24:45Thank goodness the accursed fingernail is not here to see this.
01:24:49I got news for you.
01:24:51I wouldn't have missed this for the world.
01:25:01Nice way to keep a bargain, I must say.
01:25:04What's the matter with you?
01:25:05I promise you a title and he's got one.
01:25:07Hey, to think what it is.
01:25:09Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
01:25:12ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
01:25:12ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
01:25:12ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
01:25:12ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,
01:25:13ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha
01:25:17You
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