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00:01President Trump arrives in Beijing for a high-stakes summit with President Xi Jinping.
00:05Bruce Ratner, the filmmaker who has essentially been instructed by Donald Trump to make Rush Hour 4,
00:10is going on the trip as well.
00:11The series director has been a Hollywood pariah for nearly a decade.
00:15During the MeToo moment, Ratner was accused of half-dozen instances of sexual harassment or misconduct.
00:21Lately, he's been plotting his comeback tour,
00:23first by directing the documentary on First Lady Melania Trump,
00:26and now by shopping around Rush Hour 4.
00:29We know that Trump personally lobbied for a deal,
00:33and that Paramount, under control of the Trump-friendly Ellison family, will distribute the film.
00:40From the director of Rush Hour, Rush Hour 2, Rush Hour 3, and Rush Hour Melania,
00:46comes Rush Hour 4, the film that one man asked for.
00:51Great movie.
00:52After 20 years, your favorite detective duo is back to solve the greatest mystery.
00:57Why is Brett Ratner on a diplomatic mission to China, co-starring Xi Jinping?
01:03Wait, wasn't Ratner accused of yanking it in front of actresses?
01:09That's my kind of guy.
01:10Rush Hour 4.
01:12Rush Hour 4.
01:12It's the number after 3.
01:13Soundtrack by Kanye West.
01:15It's the Late Show with Stephen Colbert.
01:20Tonight, BYO billionaires.
01:24And President Barack Obama takes the Colbert questionnaire.
01:30Plus, Stephen welcomes Tom Hanks and a special performance from Broadway's biggest stars.
01:39Featuring Louis Kato and the great big Joy Machine.
01:44And now, live on tape from the Ed Sullivan Theater in New York City, it's Stephen Colbert!
01:52Yeah!
02:05Whoa!
02:07Very nice, everyone.
02:09Thank you!
02:12Welcome, welcome, one and all in here, out there, to the Late Show.
02:17I AM YOUR HOST, STEPHEN COLBERT, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
02:23THAT'S LOVELY.
02:25THAT IS A THANK YOU FOR OUR ENERGY.
02:27THANK YOU FOR THAT.
02:28I TAKE THAT AS A PRESIDENT.
02:29IT IS MY BIRTHDAY TODAY.
02:33YEP.
02:35STAY DOWN.
02:36THANK YOU.
02:37VERY KIND.
02:39YOU TOO.
02:41THERE YOU GO.
02:43THANK YOU.
02:44YES.
02:45IT IS MY BIRTHDAY.
02:50TODAY I TURNED I CAN PLAY 45.
02:54I CAN ALSO DRIVE STICK AND I'M AVAILABLE IN JUNE.
02:59TODAY ALSO, DONALD TRUMP IS IN CHINA.
03:02HERE HE IS ARRIVING.
03:10WOW.
03:12MELANIA WAS RIGHT.
03:14SHAN YOUN IS FANTASTIC.
03:20TRUMP'S NOT MAKING THIS TRIP ALONE.
03:22HE BROUGHT TIM COOK, ELON MUSK, AND A DOZEN OTHER C.E.O.S.
03:27IT IS SO SATISFYING TO REALIZE THAT NO MATTER HOW RICH OR POWERFUL YOU MAY BE,
03:32THERE'S A CHANCE YOU MIGHT GET STUCK ON A PLANE WITH ELON MUSK.
03:36YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
03:39THIS IS FUN.
03:41THIS IS FUN.
03:42LIKE, UH, UH, DOES ANYBODY WANT MY SPERM?
03:48SO, WHY ARE ALL THE BIG MONEY HOLES ATTENDING?
03:51WELL, ACCORDING TO TRUMP,
03:52I WILL BE ASKING PRESIDENT XI TO OPEN UP CHINA
03:56SO THAT THESE BRILLIANT PEOPLE CAN WORK THEIR MAGIC.
03:59OH, YES, THESE PEOPLE CAN WORK MAGIC.
04:02THEY'VE ALREADY MADE THEIR TAXES DISAPPEAR.
04:06ILLUSION.
04:08TRUMP ALSO BROUGHT THE DIRECTOR OF MELANIA
04:10AND OF THE RUSH HOUR FRANCHISE, BRETT RATNER.
04:13NOW, YOU MAY BE ASKING,
04:15WHAT THE HELL IS A DISGRACED HOLLYWOOD DIRECTOR DOING
04:17ON A VITAL, DIPLOMATIC VISIT?
04:19NOT SURE, BUT...
04:22THIS IS TRUE.
04:23DONALD TRUMP DID DEMAND A SEQUEL TO HIS FAVORITE MOVIE FRANCHISE,
04:27SO RATNER'S SCOUTING FILM LOCATIONS FOR RUSH HOUR FOUR.
04:31NO!
04:32NO, A PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES SHOULD NOT BE INVOLVED IN MOVIE STUFF.
04:35DIDN'T WE LEARN OUR LESSON WHEN JFK SAID THIS?
04:38ASK NOT WHAT YOUR COUNTRY CAN DO FOR YOU.
04:43ASK WHO'S PUMPED FOR THE MUSIC MAN?
04:46SHIRLEY JONES AND BUDDY HACKETT?
04:49MORE LIKE 76 THUMBS UP!
04:52SO BRINGING RATNER TO CHINA SEEMS WEIRD, THOUGH I WILL ADMIT HE DID
04:57BRING HIS OWN VERY SKILLED TRANSLATOR.
05:00DO YOU UNDERSTAND THE WORDS THAT ARE COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH?
05:04OF COURSE, GREAT.
05:06IT'S A CLASSIC.
05:08GOTTA GIVE IT UP FOR TUCKER.
05:12OF COURSE, ONE OF THE BIG ISSUES HANGING OVER TRUMP'S
05:15FABULOUS BILLIONAIRE BOYS TRIP IS THE WAR HE STARTED OVER IN IRAN.
05:19SHIPS ARE STUCK, NEGOTIATIONS ARE STALLED, AND THE COST KEEPS GOING UP.
05:24A COUPLE OF WEEKS AGO, THE ADMINISTRATION TOLD CONGRESS THE PRICE
05:26STACK OF THE WAR WAS $25 BILLION.
05:29THEN, THE PENTAGON UPPED THAT NUMBER TO $29 BILLION.
05:33BUT NOW, ONE PENTAGON BUDGET EXPERT SAYS THE CONFLICT WILL ULTIMATELY
05:36COST TAXPAYERS AT LEAST $1 TRILLION.
05:40OKAY, THAT'S AN ENORMOUS NUMBER.
05:42TO PUT THAT IN PERSPECTIVE, IF YOU STACKED $1 TRILLION, THE HEIGHT
05:46OF THE STACK WOULD MEASURE OVER 67,000 MILES HIGH, WHICH IS ALMOST AS
05:53HIGH AS WHOEVER THOUGHT THAT COMPARISON WOULD BE USEFUL.
05:59SO WHAT IS AMERICA GETTING FOR OUR HOT TRILLY?
06:03WAY LESS THAN WE WERE PROMISED BECAUSE WE JUST LEARNED THAT TRUMP
06:06HAS BEEN DRASTICALLY OVERSTATING U.S. MILITARY SUCCESS IN IRAN.
06:10WAIT A MINUTE.
06:12ARE YOU SAYING OUR COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF WAS BEING IMPRECISE
06:16WHEN HE GAVE THIS DETAILED REPORT ON COMBAT OPERATIONS?
06:19FIRE, POOM, FIRE, POOM.
06:23WHAT PART OF THAT DON'T YOU GET?
06:27BING, BING, BONG, BONG.
06:32NOT ONLY IS THE REGIME OVER THERE STILL IN PLACE, NOT ONLY DO THEY
06:36STILL HAVE THEIR NUCLEAR MATERIAL, BUT U.S. INTELLIGENCE NOW
06:39SAYS IRAN HAS RETAINED ROUGHLY 70% OF ITS PRE-WAR MISSILE
06:42STOCKPILLE, 90% OF ITS UNDERGROUND MISSILE STORAGE AND
06:45LAUNCH FACILITIES, AND ACCESS TO 30 OF THE 33 MISSILE SITES ALONG
06:50THE STRAIGHT OF HORMOOZE.
06:52WHICH MEANS I HAVE TO UPDATE MY LONG-SUFFERING SEGMENT,
06:56HORMOOZE NEWS YOU CAN USE, A TRILLION MISUSED,
07:02STOCKPILES BARELY REDUCED, I AM THE WALRUS COOKU-COACHOOZE.
07:10WE, TO BE HONEST, WE ARE RUNNING OUT OF RHYMES.
07:16LATELY, THE ADMINISTRATION HAS BEEN INSISTING THAT THEIR
07:18BOMBING CAMPAIGN, NAMED OPERATION EPIC FURY, IS OVER.
07:22BUT JUST IN CASE THEY'RE HUNGRY FOR SECONDS, REPORTEDLY,
07:26THE PENTAGON IS CONSIDERING RENAMING THE IRAN WAR
07:30OPERATION SLEDGE HAMMER. OH, YEAH!
07:35OPERATION SLEDGE HAMMER, BRO? OKAY, I AM BACK ON BOARD.
07:39TAKE ANOTHER TRILLION. TAKE ANOTHER TRILLION.
07:41OKAY? YEAH.
07:44THERE YOU GO. ALL RIGHT.
07:46THIS, THIS, THIS IS MY KIDS COLLEGE FUN.
07:49I TOLD MY WIFE IT WOULDN'T TOUCH IT, BUT SLEDGE HAMMER?
07:52I DIDN'T KNOW. I DIDN'T KNOW WE WERE GOING...
07:56I DIDN'T KNOW.
08:01I DIDN'T KNOW WE WERE GOING AND PETER GABRIEL ON THE RACK.
08:05LET'S SHOCK THE MONKEY.
08:11SO...
08:14BUT DON'T SHOOT THE FLOOR.
08:18NOW I LOOK MESSY.
08:20OKAY, WHY DID THEY RENAME IT?
08:22GET READY, BECAUSE THIS IS SUPER STUPID.
08:25YOU SEE, THE 1973 WAR POWERS RESOLUTION REQUIRES CONGRESS
08:29TO AUTHORIZE MILITARY ACTION WITHIN 60 DAYS.
08:31AND BECAUSE WE HAVE NOW PASSED THAT 60-DAY DEADLINE,
08:35THE ADMINISTRATION BELIEVES REPLACING THE NAME COULD ALLOW
08:38TRUMP TO ARGUE THAT IT RESTARTS THE CLOCK.
08:41OH, YEAH. TOTALLY NEW WAR.
08:44NOW IT'S OPERATION SLEDGE HAMMER, AND THE NEXT ONE WILL BE CALLED
08:48OPERATION AND JUST LIKE THAT, IT WON'T HAVE SAMANTHA,
08:51SO THE CLOCK STARTS AGAIN.
08:54THE WAR HAS ALSO...
09:03TRUMP'S WAR IN IRAN HAS ALSO PUSHED AMERICA'S ECONOMY
09:06INTO WHAT FINANCIAL EXPERTS CALL THE POOP SHOOT.
09:10VOTERS HAVE NOTICED THAT.
09:12RIGHT NOW, 70% OF AMERICANS DISAPPROVE OF TRUMP'S HANDLING
09:15OF THE ECONOMY, AND MORE THAN TWO-THIRDS OF AMERICANS SAY
09:17THE COUNTRY FEELS OUT OF CONTROL.
09:19OH, COME ON.
09:21THINGS ARE COMPLETELY UNDER CONTROL.
09:23DONALD TRUMP MAY SEEM UNSTABLE, BUT I'M SURE HE HAS A PLAN.
09:26WHAT IS YOUR PLAN, MR. PRESIDENT?
09:29BL-BL-BL-BL-BL-BL-BL.
09:39POLLS... TRUMP'S POLL NUMBERS ARE NOT GOOD.
09:43JUST ASKED CNN'S HARRY ENTON.
09:45THESE ARE THE UGLIEST NUMBERS I HAVE EVER SEEN ON INFLATION,
09:48And it's not just one poll, Johnny Berman.
09:51It's many polls.
09:52Just take a look here.
09:53President's net approval on inflation.
09:55The five worst polls ever for any president.
09:58The five worst polls ever.
10:00Five worst polls ever.
10:01Joe Biden's not in there?
10:02Joe Biden's not in there.
10:03Jimmy Carter's not in there?
10:04That's right, Jack.
10:05I'm not in there.
10:07Because I'm in here.
10:08That's right.
10:09How's it going?
10:11How's it going, Barack?
10:14What's going on?
10:16Okay, I'm not in there.
10:18Because I'm in here asking,
10:19remember how much better it was when I was in charge?
10:21Because I'll be honest, folks.
10:23I do not.
10:25Last Biden impression ever.
10:27Let's dance, everybody.
10:28Come on.
10:29You know.
10:31Come on.
10:32Yeah.
10:34Let's dance.
10:36You know you make me wanna.
10:40A little bit louder now.
10:44Watch me whip.
10:45Watch me nae-nae.
10:47Watch me.
10:48Watch me nae-nae.
10:50Twisting the night away.
10:52Of course, long-time viewers know that...
10:55Bro, bro, bro!
10:55What?
10:56What?
10:57Oh, gosh.
10:58Sorry, folks.
10:59That sound means it's time we talk about news from the troubled world of men.
11:04In the past few years, there's been a slew of manosphere wellness fads like look-maxing,
11:10which is when dudes try to maximize their physical appearance, sometimes in drastic ways.
11:14Well, it's taken a bit of a dark turn, a turn down south, because now there's a new trend called
11:19ball-maxing.
11:21An actual procedure where men actually inject saline to maximize their scrotum size.
11:28Nope, nope.
11:30No more hobbies for men.
11:34Fellas, fellas, you've got time to fill your balls.
11:37You've got time to fill the dishwasher, okay?
11:40All right?
11:46For those who don't know, for instance, me, until this morning, ball-maxing is all about going for the biggest
11:53balls possible.
11:54And you know what?
11:55Who doesn't want that?
11:57Not only does it make walking a challenge, but also by comparison, it makes your penis seem very small.
12:03Kind of like dropping a baby carrot onto a beanbag chair.
12:12One testicular maxinista is so committed to the lifestyle that he claims his scrotum is 14.5 inches or bigger
12:21than a mango.
12:29Mango?
12:32I don't think that man going anywhere.
12:35For anyone...
12:38For anyone...
12:41I got a little something.
12:42I got a little something to say.
12:43There you go.
12:45For anyone considering maximizing their balls, please know there are hazards.
12:50For example, after one session, this same mango man got his scrotum stuck in a toilet.
12:55Even more impressive, it happened while he was in the shower.
12:59We got a great show for you tonight.
13:03Tom Hanks is here.
13:04When we come back, President Barack Obama takes the Colbert questionnaire.
13:09Stick around.
13:35Drink him in, my friends.
13:37Louis Cato and the great big joy machine bringing the joy tonight.
13:41Yes, yes, yes.
13:42Louis, tonight, tonight, we have none other than Mr. Tom Hanks and...
13:49A very special Broadway performance.
13:53Stick around for that.
13:54You're not going to want to miss it.
13:54Folks, listen, I hope you caught my interview with President Barack Obama last week.
14:00Oh, lovely hanging out.
14:03All of the newsworthy revelations it contained.
14:06Perhaps the biggest was that he said I could call him Barack.
14:09I am still not comfortable with that, but the 44th president was, in fact, so comfortable
14:14with me that he was brave enough to bear his soul.
14:18Sir, you and I have had a chance to talk many times.
14:21It's been an honor every time.
14:23I've enjoyed it.
14:24You've been very frank and forthcoming.
14:26Yeah.
14:27But the thing is, even with the kind of in-depth interviews that we've had, sometimes you don't
14:32get to know someone fully by doing that.
14:35So we at The Late Show have come up with something called the Colbert questionnaire.
14:38It's a series of 15 questions.
14:39Let's do it.
14:40Ergonomically designed to penetrate straight to the soul of someone.
14:42But I want to warn you, if you answer these questions honestly, you will be fully known.
14:46Are you prepared?
14:48I've got nothing to hide.
14:49Let's go.
14:50Okay.
14:55Barack Obama, what is the best sandwich?
14:57A cheeseburger is the best sandwich.
14:59A cheeseburger sandwich.
14:59Okay.
15:00What cheese are we talking here?
15:02Cheddar.
15:02Cheddar?
15:03Okay.
15:04Lettuce, tomato, what are we doing?
15:05Lettuce, tomato.
15:06Drag it through the garden.
15:07Mustard.
15:07Okay.
15:08What was the first concert you attended?
15:13It was 1973, Elton John, Goodbye Yellow Brick Road Tour.
15:24Amazing.
15:25And the second was Stevie Wonder, Inner Visions Tour.
15:28They came through Hawaii, I think, on their way to Asia to make money.
15:33But at the Blaisdell Center.
15:35Powerful answers.
15:36It was great.
15:37Unbelievable.
15:39What is the scariest animal?
15:47This is a scientific nerd question, but mosquitoes are the scariest animal.
15:53Yeah, yeah.
15:54Because?
15:55They bring a lot of bad diseases.
15:57There you go.
15:57Yeah.
15:58Apples or oranges?
16:00Apples.
16:01Okay.
16:01Yeah.
16:02All right.
16:02Yeah.
16:03Can't put peanut butter on an orange.
16:04You can't.
16:07There's only one thing you can do.
16:10Eat it.
16:11Have you ever asked someone for their autograph?
16:18In 1977, I think Dr. J came to Hawaii for an all-star game, an exhibit game.
16:31And I asked Doc for an autograph.
16:33That's great.
16:34Yeah.
16:34You and I played waste paper basketball once back in the day, and it doesn't matter who
16:39won.
16:40But the first person I ever did that with, the first guest I ever did that with, was with
16:43Dr. J.
16:44Yeah?
16:44Who won?
16:45I won, and he was not happy.
16:47I know.
16:47Who accused me of cheating?
16:48Yeah.
16:49You probably did.
16:50I mean, you practice.
16:51I'm not.
16:52You crumpled the balls up.
16:53I never.
16:54You crumpled the balls up real tight.
16:55You've got to let it go, man.
16:57You've got to let it go.
16:57You've done a lot of great things.
16:58Let's continue.
16:59Don't let this be the thing that you're like, in the middle of the night, you go, what if
17:04I had won?
17:05What if I had achieved that?
17:06I'm getting kind of hot.
17:07Okay.
17:08Let's move on.
17:08What do you think happens when we die?
17:14I think that, I don't know, but what I accept that if we've lived a good life, I think we
17:25live on in the memories of the people who loved us.
17:30Do you have a favorite action movie?
17:35I thought the Daniel Craig, James Bond series was terrific.
17:40Yeah.
17:40Yeah.
17:42Casino Royale.
17:43Casino Royale.
17:44And Skyfall.
17:45Skyfall.
17:45Those are the two biggest.
17:46And I would go with Casino Royale.
17:49Come on.
17:50When he actually runs through the wall?
17:52Yes.
17:52Instead of going, fantastic.
17:54Blunt instrument.
17:55Uh-huh.
17:56Window or aisle?
17:59Window.
18:00So you don't need to worry about getting up and going to the bathroom?
18:03My bladder's pretty solid.
18:04Okay.
18:05Okay.
18:07Favorite smell?
18:09Now, I have to say, I wasn't entirely briefed on this, but I was told that Michelle said
18:15I smelled pretty good.
18:16So, like, I'd be-
18:18Wait, wait, so your favorite smell is you?
18:20No, I was going to say, it's obviously got to be my wife.
18:24Oh, oh, oh, I see.
18:25Wait, she says you smell pretty good.
18:27Yeah, she said.
18:28Oh, I see.
18:28When I asked her, exactly, so you've got to do reciprocal.
18:32I do.
18:32Okay.
18:33Absolutely.
18:34It's also true.
18:35And it has the benefit of being true.
18:39Least favorite smell?
18:43You know, I'm not overly sensitive to smells.
18:48Uh-huh.
18:49So, I mean, they're the obvious ones.
18:53I don't think I'm super original when it comes to least favorite smells.
18:56Do you have a favorite smell that you just-
18:58I don't answer the Culver question, I'll start.
19:01I'm sorry.
19:02Okay.
19:02These are the rules.
19:03I just-
19:03Which makes sense.
19:04Okay, yeah.
19:04All right.
19:05Earliest memory?
19:09Earliest memory is looking at tadpoles with my mom in a pond behind our house in Hawaii.
19:27Yeah.
19:28That's a good one.
19:29Do you have any sense of how old you are?
19:33Three.
19:35Yeah.
19:35Cats or dogs?
19:36Dogs.
19:38You only get one song to listen to for the rest of your life.
19:40You don't have to listen to it continually, but when you go to listen to music, this is the song
19:44you get to hear.
19:44What would it be?
19:50Marvin Gaye, what's going on?
19:53Maybe Nina Simone feeling good between those two.
19:58What number am I thinking of?
20:01Seven.
20:03No.
20:06Sir, please describe the rest of your life in five words.
20:10Um, joy, Michelle Malia and Sasha L. Count?
20:23Yes, there you go.
20:23That's three.
20:25Uh, useful.
20:28Congratulations, Mr. President.
20:30You are known.
20:31I hope so.
20:35Thanks again to President Obama.
20:37The Obama Presidential Center opens in Chicago on June 19th.
20:42We'll be right back with Tom Hanks.
21:02Hey, welcome back, everybody.
21:08My guest tonight, ladies and germs, I'm happy to say my guest tonight has a new docu-series on the
21:16History Channel called World War II with Tom Hanks.
21:21The Poles were outgunned by the Germans who had three-to-one tanks and five-to-one airplanes.
21:26So there's no question that the Germans were a superior force.
21:31Despite those odds, the Poles are determined to defend their country.
21:39Everyone had to help, and soldiers conscripted civilians on the street, putting them to work.
21:44I saw one man who was stopped six times on his way home with a loaf of bread.
21:53The Poles remain resilient.
21:56Ladies and gentlemen, Hanks!
22:00Ladies and gentlemen, thank you, thank you very much.
22:26Thank you, thank you.
22:33Tom, good to see you.
22:36I cannot help but notice that you brought a prop.
22:40Dude, you're moving on, and there is so much stuff to steal from the offices right now.
22:46They're never going to miss it.
22:47And one of the things I like to do, I hit that stationary closet, right?
22:51Yes.
22:51And it's like, okay, steno pads, got plenty.
22:54Cheap-ass ballpoint pens, don't need them.
22:56But stationary with the CBS logo on it?
23:00Dude!
23:04That is letterhead stationary.
23:06I mean, I'm going to talk about that.
23:08That Reba paper probably costs your benevolent overlords like 35 cents or something like that.
23:14I think they would say it costs them $40 million, but thank you.
23:18Thank you for saying otherwise.
23:19And does it does come down to the economics of the talk show business?
23:22No, that's mine!
23:23I'm taking it home!
23:24Dude!
23:25Listen, the country is about to celebrate a big birthday.
23:30The big 250!
23:31Yeah, 250 years!
23:33To celebrate, you've got a new docu-series on the History Channel, as I said right there,
23:36World War II with Tom Hanks.
23:38Yeah, right.
23:38Now, I'm fascinated with World War II.
23:41I had family over there.
23:43What is it?
23:43Why do you think you, but also the general public, why do you think people are still so fascinated
23:47with World War II?
23:48Okay, first of all, I'm of two minds of this.
23:52One is the day...
23:53I always go back if I think I'm 19 years old, I'm 22 years old, or maybe I'm 15, and
23:59I can
24:00lie about my age and get into the Marine Corps.
24:02Sure.
24:03The world was at this place where it's like, hey, if someone doesn't take up the mantle,
24:09who will?
24:12Suddenly, there was a moment where half the world was going to be robbed of the basic
24:18freedoms that made us Americans.
24:20The freedom of speech, religion, assembly, and the press.
24:26One half the world, that was taken out by essentially one guy.
24:30In Europe, one guy just sold this narrative, and the next thing you know, you have, you
24:36know, crosses at the cemeteries of enormity.
24:39So I can't get past that.
24:40And the best thing I can say about it is mercy...
24:42Where was mercy in World War II?
24:44Where was it?
24:45It didn't exist?
24:46No, it did exist.
24:47Mercy was granted upon the surrender of the vanquished.
24:51We conquered no territory.
24:54We didn't even ask reparations from them.
24:57We said to the vanquished in Germany and in Japan and the Far East, all right, that was
25:04then, this is now.
25:05The only thing that we require of you is to go on and guarantee your people the freedoms
25:10of speech, religion, assembly, and the press.
25:15And they did, as opposed to the rest of the half the world.
25:17So, there you go.
25:18All right?
25:20That's it.
25:21Hold that thought.
25:23We'll be right back with more Tom Hanks, everybody.
25:40We gotta do that.
25:42Hey, everybody, wait, wait.
25:45Tom, don't talk.
25:46Okay, sorry.
25:50Tom Hanks, you've got a coffee here that benefits Veterans Charity.
25:55Tell me about the coffee.
25:56Well, based on Newman's Own, I worked with Paul Newman at the time he was doing it.
26:00He has these great products that he loves, and all the money goes to his Hole-in-the-Wall
26:05gangs for sick kids.
26:07We have done the same thing for the veterans' communities.
26:10Great.
26:11Now, here's the deal.
26:13Quality stuff.
26:14Let's try it out.
26:14Well, okay, I believe that's grounds, you know, that's not instant coffee.
26:18Just a little...
26:19Yeah, but a little pinch between your cheek and gum.
26:22Gives you full coffee flavor without lightening up, Tom.
26:24It tastes good, but I have a...
26:26This might be disappointing for the band, guys.
26:29These are legal addictive stimulants.
26:32Oh, man.
26:33I've asked some musicians this.
26:35I've got, like, Bruce Springsteen top...
26:37You know, what are Bruce Springsteen's top five Bruce Springsteen songs?
26:39Wow.
26:39They're like, yeah, what?
26:41When can...
26:41Did he already do that?
26:43Because I'd like to know what they're doing.
26:43Well, he said it all on the show.
26:44You should check out the show sometimes.
26:45It's pretty good.
26:45Okay, all right.
26:45Now, you missed an episode?
26:48Are you saying you missed an episode of this show?
26:50If it's not encapsulated by the New York Times the next morning, I'm not really paying much attention to it.
26:55That's fair.
26:56You know?
26:56We all do that, you know, last night?
26:57So, I'll ask you.
26:59Tom Hanks...
27:00Okay.
27:01Does Tom Hanks have a list of Tom Hanks' top five movies?
27:04Okay, no.
27:07Because, like...
27:07You can't name five good movies, you can't?
27:09No, I can name...
27:11I can name, like, three right away.
27:13I can name three.
27:14Okay, yeah, yeah, sure.
27:15But this actually comes down to moments that happened in the making of the movie.
27:21Okay.
27:22One was my very first movie, Ron Howard, it was called Splash, and it played my...
27:27Familiar?
27:29Yeah.
27:31Peaked in the 90s.
27:32Thank you very much.
27:33Um, he said, okay, you got the job, and then you're gonna have to learn how to scuba dive.
27:38I said, what?
27:40I...
27:41You...
27:41This is like being on vacation.
27:43I get to...
27:44I have to learn how to scuba dive?
27:46Well, this is the greatest friggin' job on the planet Earth!
27:49Now, that translated to me being dressed just like I am, under 40 feet of water, with iron
27:56weights in my pants, being towed into place by a safety diver, but, you know, kind of like...
28:04But that's a pretty...
28:05That's a pretty fun job.
28:06Okay.
28:07Uh, number two is, uh, we were making, um, uh, The Da Vinci Code in Paris.
28:14Yeah, thank you.
28:15Nice to meet you.
28:16And I had to...
28:17Audrey Tattoo and I had to run through the Louvre Museum, and I had to change into special shoes.
28:24And so I did so.
28:25I said, oh, Tom, there's an apple box, and your shoes are in this other room.
28:28And so I go in there, and I sit on an apple box, and I'm surrounded by masterpieces, and
28:32I'm putting on these running shoes.
28:33It's like, well, there's the Mona Lisa.
28:35How about that?
28:37Hey, girl, what are you up to?
28:40What's that odd little smile?
28:42And I'm there all by myself.
28:45Now, what gig allows that?
28:48We're crying like that.
28:49Oh.
28:49And, okay, and then I will tell you this other amazing moment that I swear...
28:53This is absolutely 100%.
28:56Rob Reiner, God bless his eternal memory.
28:59We worked with Nora Ephron and Sleepless in Seattle.
29:02There is a...
29:04Do you have a picture of it?
29:05We do, actually.
29:05I was going to ask you about this.
29:07This is the famous tiramisu.
29:09This is a tiramisu.
29:10See, Rob Reiner and me, we're shooting in Seattle.
29:13Now, that's it.
29:14Okay.
29:15We got to know each other really well on this, and our kids were all about the same age.
29:18And so, one day, we go to...
29:20We say, yeah, let's go to Disneyland.
29:21Let's get out of the house.
29:22And so, we all drove in one car, Rob, Michelle, our kids, me, and Rita.
29:26And we drive to Disneyland.
29:28And understand, when you go to Disneyland, spend one hour for every year of age for your kids.
29:34So, if your kids are seven, you stay there for seven hours.
29:38If your kids are 12, you stay there for 12 hours.
29:41Anyway, so we had a great day.
29:43It was great.
29:43And then they were driving home, and, alas, we left in the middle of the most hideous traffic
29:48than Los Angeles can allow.
29:50You could take the 110 to the 405.
29:52You are stuck in traffic.
29:53So, we're on the 405, right?
29:55Literally.
29:57And we happened to be next to a bus, a commuter bus, and their job was to get people from
30:04the Valley to LAX, or from the LAX to the Valley.
30:07We were right next to this bus for the longest time.
30:13And Rob was riding shotgun, and I was driving.
30:17And we happened to notice that in this bus, because people are stuck on it for so long,
30:22they have TV monitors that play movies.
30:26I swear, this is absolutely 100% true.
30:30And as we're going, I'm like, hey, look, they're playing movies.
30:33And then Rob says, I think that's sleepless in Seattle.
30:39And so I'm trying to, like, you know, get up as much as we can.
30:46And we're leaning over like this, and sure, we can see up in the window of this bus, our
30:50movie is playing on a TV screen right there.
30:54And not only that, Rob says, I think the tiramisu scene is coming up.
31:00And I said, oh, my God, you're right, because we did the thing first.
31:03And up on the screen, in this bus, this scene is playing, right?
31:10And then Rob says, oh, my God, that's a tiramisu.
31:13So I start honking the horn, and there's a guy that is watching the movie like this.
31:19Honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk, honk.
31:26And Rob and I go, no, that's us.
31:30We're right there.
31:32We're on the lake.
31:33And this guy that is absolutely as surreal a moment as you could possibly.
31:44That is absolutely true.
31:47We'll be right back with more Tom Hanks, everybody.
32:00Anyway, we're back with Tom Hanks, and that happened.
32:03That actually happened to her.
32:04We're back with Tom Hanks, everybody.
32:07I have been warned that you have something in a box back there.
32:12I have no idea what this is about.
32:14I know it's my birthday.
32:15It is.
32:16It is your birthday.
32:17Is it more paper?
32:19Well...
32:23Did I just...
32:24I didn't mean to...
32:26You are close.
32:28It is.
32:30But yet, what makes this box of paper special for your birthday?
32:35Open it and find out.
32:37All right?
32:39Drums.
32:42For your birthday, Stephen Colbert, I have for you, dot matrix paper.
32:53Is this for an okidada?
32:57Okidada?
32:58Thank you so much.
32:59Very kind.
33:00Do you understand that this is great paper that is always connected?
33:04All you have to do is remove this, isn't it?
33:05Yes, the periphery comes up to the side.
33:07Now, Nehemiah, I wonder, what the heck are you going to do with such a thing?
33:10This is all connected.
33:11It's like three miles of paper.
33:13It is.
33:13There's nothing hid underneath it.
33:15This is, in fact, he is a man of his word.
33:17Exactly right.
33:18Now, now...
33:18This is paper.
33:19It's not enough to have great paper.
33:22You need a tool with which to use that paper.
33:25And you're going to be doing some serious resume writing and what have you.
33:31Yes, I am.
33:31And so, Stephen Colbert, for your birthday, I would like to present, via the Hankettes,
33:38Happy Birthday, Stephen Colbert!
33:50Thank you, girls.
33:52Shall I?
33:53Go ahead.
34:04Now, Stephen, this is not just a typewriter.
34:08It's a mid-century portable typewriter made by the Underwood Corporation.
34:13It is not just an Underwood.
34:17It is the Underwood Ace Model.
34:20A-C-E.
34:22Which means, should you ever want to take on the mantle of a cub reporter,
34:28what better name than Ace Underwood Cub Reporter?
34:35So, you can get typing, and as long as you have an idea in your head, you can just type
34:43and type and type.
34:45Let's say, for example, you got an idea that you've got to get down and it's 47 pages long.
34:51You know what would help you with that?
34:52Just like Jack Kerouac wrote On the Road With?
34:56Perhaps some addictive stimulants could get you through that.
35:02And so, between that typewriter, this paper, and Hank's Coffee, you are on your way.
35:18Thank you, Tom.
35:19You will never lose your data.
35:21Tom Hanks, everybody.
35:23World War II with Tom Hanks premieres May 25th on the History Channel.
35:27We'll be right back with a performance by Broadway's biggest stars.
35:53And now performing one of my favorite Sondheim songs, putting it together, ladies and gentlemen,
35:57Annaleigh Ashford, Christopher Jackson, Bernadette Peters, Ben Platt, and Patrick Wilson.
36:09Bits by bit, putting it together, piece by piece, only way to make a work of art.
36:16Every moment makes a contribution, every little detail plays a part.
36:20Having just the vision's no solution, everything depends on execution.
36:24Putting it together, that's what counts.
36:28Ounce by ounce, putting it together, small amounts, adding up to make a work of art.
36:35First of all, you need a good foundation, otherwise it's risky from the start.
36:39Takes a lot of earnest conversation, but without the proper preparation.
36:43Having just the vision's no solution.
36:45Everything depends on execution.
36:47The art of making art is putting it together, bit by bit.
36:55Note by note, looking on projection.
36:58Lips, teeth, throat, looking for a moment to inhale.
37:02Keeping the emotional connection, even when your fellow actors fail.
37:06Pointing up the subtext by inflection.
37:08Helping your director reach perfection.
37:10Even though you have a strong objection.
37:12To the way she's handling the direction.
37:13The art isn't easy.
37:17Every minor detail is a major decision.
37:22Have to keep things in scale.
37:23Have to hold to your vision.
37:25Even when you're feeling apprehensive.
37:27That you're looking bland and inoffensive.
37:29And you wish your wardrobe was extensive.
37:31Don't forget the spangles are expensive.
37:51The light love.
37:55A little to the right love.
38:00It isn't very bright, love.
38:07And what's there three so tight, love?
38:19He does this every night.
38:27Bit by bit, losing inhibition.
38:30Head, hands, feet.
38:32Trying to relax, but not too much.
38:34Trying to lay out the exposition.
38:36But without exposing it as such.
38:38Trying to affirm, but not audition.
38:40Trying to establish recognition.
38:41Trying to persuade the electrician.
38:43That he should destroy the competition.
38:46All isn't easy.
38:47It's not easy.
38:49Every word, every line, every glance, every move.
38:53Make you improve and refine and refine each in through bit.
38:59Bit by bit, putting it together.
39:03Piece by piece, working out the vision night and day.
39:06But it takes time and perseverance.
39:08Jumping the trail along the way.
39:10Filling produce and end of air.
39:12Spreading running off and disappearing.
39:14Filling up the holes with animation.
39:16Covering the flaws and the construction.
39:18Lacking any scenic ostentation.
39:20This is not a Paramount production.
39:25Finding every tiny syncopation.
39:27Hitting in the tiny orchestration.
39:29Working for a tiny compensation.
39:31Hoping for a thunderous salvation.
39:33The art of making art.
39:36It's putting it together.
39:38Bit by bit.
39:40Part by part.
39:42Fit by fit.
39:43Start by start.
39:44Stride by stride.
39:45Kick by kick.
39:46Glide by glide.
39:47Shtick by shtick.
39:48Side by side, by side, by side, by side, by side.
39:52And that is the state of the art.
40:09Broadway's finest, everybody.
40:11Good night.
40:13Good night.
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