The Nut Farm

LegalDramaDaily

The Nut Farm

Transcript

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00:26:37Kim.

00:26:50Your mom sent this?

00:26:52Yep. The only single woman in a 50K radius.

00:26:56Oh, come on.

00:26:57There's gotta be at least a couple single women within 50,000 miles.

00:27:02I meant kilometers.

00:27:04But that would be like three feet.

00:27:06Or... or a kilometer's the big one.

00:27:09God!

00:27:10I always confuse kilometers with millimeters.

00:27:42G'day, mate. You must be the new bloke in town.

00:27:45Yeah, that's right.

00:27:45I'm Darren. Call me Dazza.

00:27:47Oh, okay. I'm Brendan. But you can call me Brenda.

00:27:52Sorry.

00:27:53Had to run Harry home to sleep at all.

00:27:56Don't think he'll be billing anybody this afternoon.

00:27:59Esme, this is Brenda.

00:28:03So, you work here too?

00:28:05Go wherever the pay is, love. Get your drink.

00:28:07We got Joseph's Brew double pay fat bastard on tap.

00:28:09I'm afraid I'm out of Kelly's piss.

00:28:11Well, actually, I just popped in to find out if there's a general store around

00:28:14because I need basic supplies.

00:28:16Of course there is, love.

00:28:18You're standing in the middle of it.

00:28:20Mate, this is cobweb CDB, mate.

00:28:23What?

00:28:24Central...

00:28:25Dizzness...

00:28:26Bistrick?

00:28:28Country dual business, love.

00:28:30You get them in rural areas.

00:28:32So, the post office is also the cop shop.

00:28:34The public pool doubles as the crocodile shelter.

00:28:38That kind of thing.

00:28:39Do you have soaked granola?

00:28:43Well, I could probably run a packet of cornflakes under the tap for you.

00:28:48What about mouthwash?

00:28:54Blistering bushfires.

00:28:56How it's gone here?

00:29:00I hope those fridges haven't been off for long.

00:29:05Greetings.

00:29:06There's me.

00:29:07Saucy old duck.

00:29:10I'll take your milk, your yoghurt and all of your cheese.

00:29:12Please.

00:29:13You're not cleaning us out like you did last time, Zoran.

00:29:18I'm putting a limit on you.

00:29:19Please do.

00:29:20Just limit me to all the fresh ones that are still under four degrees.

00:29:25So, big on the dairy, huh?

00:29:28Yes.

00:29:28I require more than the average person.

00:29:31I'm what's known as lactose inadequate.

00:29:34Are you sure that's a thing?

00:29:36Oh, I know who you are.

00:29:38You're none other than old Mitch's know-nothing nephew from America.

00:29:43Well, I do know a few things, buddy.

00:29:4550,000 people used to follow my crypto blog.

00:29:48That's so exciting.

00:29:50Did they follow you all the way down here?

00:29:52I believe we're almost neighbours.

00:29:53You're nobody's neighbours, Zoran.

00:29:56You're nobody's neighbours, Zoran.

00:29:57You're nobody's neighbours, Zoran.

00:29:58That's physically impossible.

00:30:00Best be on your bike, Zoran.

00:30:02You stupid shitbird.

00:30:12Very well, Dazza.

00:30:16It's nice to see everyone hard at work.

00:30:22Don't worry.

00:30:24It'll all be alright in the end.

00:30:26And if not, it'll just drag on.

00:30:30And seemingly never in.

00:30:32Right?

00:30:38Oh, what an arse hat.

00:30:42Now this is either mouthwash or drain cleaner.

00:30:45Might be a good idea to test it.

00:30:48If you drain, smell good enough to kiss.

00:30:51It's probably mouthwash.

00:30:52Great. Thank you.

00:31:04What?

00:31:04You guys.

00:31:05Turn them, spread them.

00:31:07What the hell?

00:31:08I didn't do anything.

00:31:10You're American, aren't you?

00:31:11Yeah, but that's not a crime, is it?

00:31:13Just trying to make you feel at home.

00:31:15I'm fine.

00:31:17I'm fine.

00:31:18At least I was.

00:31:20Just trying to be nice.

00:31:21Sergeant Blake, Cobweb Homicide slash Postal Division.

00:31:25Homicide?

00:31:26Slash Postal.

00:31:28What do you know about today's disappearance of Strawberry John?

00:31:32Strawberry who?

00:31:33Strawberry John.

00:31:34Farmer who lives near your place.

00:31:36Yeah, I wonder what he grows.

00:31:38Avocados.

00:31:41Well, he used to grow strawberries, but he hated the nickname.

00:31:45Enough talking about farming.

00:31:48When did you last see him?

00:31:50I've never seen him, ever.

00:31:52Sounds suspicious.

00:31:53How do you even know where I live?

00:31:55It's my job to know things.

00:31:57Oh, is it?

00:31:58Then maybe you know what happened to my Uncle Mitch?

00:32:01Alright, drop the tone.

00:32:03Considering you inherited his farm, maybe I should be asking where you were when he disappeared.

00:32:09I was in San Francisco.

00:32:10And what were you doing in San Francisco?

00:32:12Well, let's see.

00:32:13I was really busy not even knowing he existed.

00:32:18Guess that counts you out then.

00:32:20This is ridiculous. Can I go now?

00:32:23Yeah.

00:32:24But I'm watching you.

00:32:26So don't leave town, eh?

00:32:28Yeah, if only I could.

00:32:34Enjoy your milk.

00:32:35Our farmers are the best.

00:32:42Oh, why is everything so difficult in this back-ass man's country?

00:32:46Sir?

00:32:46What?

00:32:48I'm afraid we've just squeezed the last gas out from under Esme's place.

00:32:52My place! I bought it, it's my place, so I'm the one with the massive gas problem.

00:32:57This is a bloody disaster.

00:32:59We dig a tunnel all the way from the motherland, we put in a secret gas pipeline, and now you're

00:33:03telling me we don't have enough gas to squeeze through it.

00:33:06What's the latest test results say?

00:33:08Some below D's, but the real reserves are under old Mitch's nut farm.

00:33:15Biggest I've ever seen.

00:33:17Really?

00:33:18Well then, focus in that direction.

00:33:21Forget about the rock shelf. We go fast and close to the surface.

00:33:25Not too close, boss. Or we'll risk another cave-in.

00:33:28That last one took a lot of effort to clean up.

00:33:37That strawberry guy was so difficult to work with.

00:33:40Look, once we get above Mitch's reserves, we go vertical, delve deep into the bowels of the earth, spill some

00:33:48chemicals into that beloved aquifer they all bang all about.

00:33:52Iris, it is time to frack some more of this stupid island, and keep our beloved New Zealand powered, pristine

00:34:03and green.

00:34:04What about the nut farm's new occupant?

00:34:07The greatest American, ding-dong.

00:34:09Nah, he's so stupid he wouldn't even be able to tie his own shoes together.

00:34:12Iris, get digging.

00:34:20Yeah, I think this has probably got a staple cord.

00:34:24All pumped and ready for some first-time tractoring.

00:34:30Great work, Carl. You know, you're a handy guy to know.

00:34:34Hey there.

00:34:35Ah. Hi.

00:34:37Brendan, look. It's my still-attractive-for-her-age mother.

00:34:40I'm sorry. I don't know where he picks these things up from.

00:34:43Well, he's not wrong, so...

00:34:46Well, anyway, thanks for letting me borrow young Carl here, miss.

00:34:51I had to get my tractor up and running, so I can get out there and, uh, you know, do

00:34:57some shoveling.

00:34:57Shoveling.

00:34:59Mm, yeah, certainly sounds like something a farmer might say.

00:35:03And that sounds like something another farmer might say about something a farmer might say.

00:35:07Thus, two farmers saying stuff together.

00:35:11Yeah.

00:35:13Come on.

00:35:14Oh, hey, Kim. Thanks for sending that gift basket over the other day with Carl.

00:35:20You have beautiful handwriting.

00:35:23Oh, yeah, of course.

00:35:25It would be, um, rude to not properly welcome you to the neighborhood.

00:35:29And I really enjoyed the bell pepper.

00:35:33But if you're as sick of Mom's meals as I am...

00:35:35Excuse me, what was that?

00:35:37We could all go out to the town's only restaurant.

00:35:39All of us?

00:35:40Uh, no.

00:35:41How about Thursday?

00:35:42You've got nothing on Thursday, Mom.

00:35:44I already cleared your schedule.

00:35:46Actually, I'm pretty sure Philip has plans on Thursday already, so I'm free, too.

00:35:51Thank you, my little angel.

00:35:58Let's go home.

00:36:00Carl?

00:36:01Bye, Carl.

00:36:14Woo-hoo!

00:36:18Your ass is grass!

00:36:20Grass!

00:36:24You made a big mistake growing here, grass!

00:36:29Say hello to my little tractor!

00:36:31Oh!

00:36:34Oh, yeah!

00:36:36I go both ways, baby!

00:36:41You made a big mistake, baby!

00:36:44Oh, yeah!

00:36:46Oh, yeah!

00:36:48Oh, yeah!

00:36:50Oh, yeah!

00:36:51Woo-hoo!

00:36:53Brandon Brandon 1, arming 0!

00:37:01Nailed it!

00:37:05Philip!

00:37:06I'm home!

00:37:07Hope you've got plenty to eat today.

00:37:20Good one, Philip.

00:37:21You got me.

00:37:22You eight-legged knucklehead.

00:37:41How bad is this music?

00:37:42You had to hide it.

00:37:43I'm home.

00:37:52I'm home.

00:37:53You were home.

00:37:55You're home.

00:37:56I'm home.

00:37:59You're home.

00:38:00You're home.

00:38:01You're home.

00:38:01March 5E8.

00:38:02More suspicious signs...

00:38:04Stumbled across what looks to be soil test holes on route to next checked area.

00:38:09I suspect it's connected, but evidence is scattered.

00:38:12Evidence? What's he talking about?

00:38:29Um, shouldn't that cell door be locked?

00:38:33No, no, he doesn't make it home from the pub all the time,

00:38:36so saved some time and gave him a key.

00:38:37Oh, okay.

00:38:42Are you looking to post that somewhere today, sir?

00:38:44No, but I think maybe Mitch found something that got him in trouble.

00:38:47One second.

00:38:56I think the birds are up tonight, good.

00:38:58No, that's not what I...

00:39:00Alright, hang on. Let me find the red spot.

00:39:03Here, I'm gonna turn it up.

00:39:14Is this some kind of joke?

00:39:16No, Mitch has all kinds of different recordings.

00:39:18I mean, there's some really crazy stuff in there.

00:39:20Yeah, well, he would. Mitch was a total conspiracy nut.

00:39:23I was always coming in here complaining about stuff.

00:39:24One time he filed a complaint about chemtrails,

00:39:26as if there's anything I can do about chemtrails.

00:39:28They're controlled by aliens.

00:39:30Maybe what happened to Mitch, it's the same thing that happened to Strawberry John.

00:39:34Actually, glad you brought that up.

00:39:37That has been solved, thanks to yours truly.

00:39:40Look, received these in the mail this morning.

00:39:42Looks like Strawberry John's taken himself on a spontaneous little trip to New Zealand.

00:39:46So, reckons he's having the time of his life.

00:39:50That does look pretty fun.

00:39:55Nice of him to send postcards.

00:39:57It's so much nicer than an email.

00:39:59Better than the dick pics he usually sends.

00:40:12I'm parched as bro.

00:40:15This place is hotter than a volcano's asshole.

00:40:18Which bit is its asshole?

00:40:19The bit that's on top, of course.

00:40:22Hey.

00:40:23Isn't that the face?

00:40:24Volcanoes don't have faces.

00:40:26Let's get a drink.

00:40:35Oh, excuse me.

00:40:36Sorry.

00:40:37Brenda!

00:40:38How's it going?

00:40:39Farm life good?

00:40:40It's okay.

00:40:41Here's mate.

00:40:42Hit him up with a beer, eh?

00:40:43Look, I...

00:40:44I gotta go.

00:40:45So hungry I could eat the arse out of a low-flying duck.

00:40:52Say, Esme, is there a mine nearby?

00:40:55Something like that?

00:40:56Nope.

00:40:57No mine round here, love.

00:40:58Nice to see some fresh faces, Buck.

00:41:02We haven't had any tourists around here

00:41:04since the mayor took down those giant dangling nuts

00:41:07on the way into town.

00:41:09Hmm.

00:41:10Sorry I missed that.

00:41:13Oh.

00:41:15Look who the sheep dragged in.

00:41:17If it isn't my favourite Australian.

00:41:20This is the worst job ever, boss.

00:41:25Jabbering on about shrumps on Barbies and tuts on bulls.

00:41:29And adding completely unnecessary vowels to the end of perfectly good words.

00:41:34And thus, I'm absolutely sucked to dick of getting about on this outfit that hasn't been washed in six months.

00:41:43Don't let the convict fashion get you down, Mr Dazzer.

00:41:47You're part of something far greater than yourself.

00:41:49And you're not paid to complain.

00:41:53Found these rits topside.

00:41:55End in uniform.

00:41:56Oh, come on boss.

00:41:58We've been down here forever.

00:42:00We just need a little vitamin D.

00:42:01Well, I'll give you a little vitamin kick up the arse if you don't get back to work.

00:42:06Move.

00:42:06Go.

00:42:07Back to work.

00:42:07Mmm.

00:42:08Come on.

00:42:13Now, tell me about...

00:42:18Our new American neighbour.

00:42:21Will he flee home before we start tunneling under his land?

00:42:24Or do I have to pay him a little visit?

00:42:30Sorry, what was the question?

00:42:32I was asking if I had to pay him a little visit.

00:42:34Sorry, I zoned out for a second.

00:42:36That's okay.

00:42:37A wee bit difficult to tell, actually.

00:42:39Really?

00:42:40Yeah.

00:42:41What's he like?

00:42:42Thoroughly decent chap, as far as I'm concerned.

00:42:45Yeah.

00:43:04I reckon this will make your life a little easier.

00:43:07Do you want me to throw it up to you?

00:43:08Uh, that's okay.

00:43:09I'll come down.

00:43:11You sure?

00:43:15Russell Crowe, it's hot up here.

00:43:19I thought I'd come and offer you an official welcome.

00:43:22You wouldn't happen to have any nice refreshing cheese, would you?

00:43:36Good stuff.

00:43:38Was that single origin?

00:43:40I believe so.

00:43:42It's magnificent.

00:43:47You have some milk to wash it down?

00:43:49Sorry, haven't been to the pub today.

00:43:55No.

00:43:56So, Mr. Brandon.

00:43:57Brandon.

00:43:58Brandon.

00:43:59No, it's Mr. Brandon.

00:44:01Mr. Brandon.

00:44:02First, may I offer my sincere condolences on the tragic death of your Uncle Mitch?

00:44:07I mean, people say he's dead, but...

00:44:09Well, as he most surely is.

00:44:11I mean, the land around here claims so many.

00:44:14It's a grueling life being a farmer, and at the end your uncle was broken and bent double by enduring

00:44:20hardship,

00:44:21and I would not be at all surprised if he just crawled off into the bush and lay down forever

00:44:27under his favourite tree.

00:44:29You wouldn't happen to know where that is, would you?

00:44:31You are from San Francisco, from what I hear.

00:44:33Yeah.

00:44:33San Francisco, my favourite of all the cities.

00:44:36After Christchurch.

00:44:38And Auckland.

00:44:38And Wellington.

00:44:39And, uh, and...

00:44:43And Queenstown.

00:44:45Squish.

00:44:47And to...

00:44:49Farmers to North.

00:44:52But you must miss it terribly.

00:44:53Oh, sure.

00:44:54I mean, there's a few things I miss, like sourdough bowls, same-day delivery, medical marijuana, sourdough bowls.

00:45:02They take the bread and they hollow out the bread and put the clam chowder in the bread.

00:45:06So you eat the soup, and then you eat the bowl.

00:45:10I mean, it must be so hard, being so far from home in a place that's so strange, knowing that

00:45:19you stare down a fate as miserable as poor old Mitch.

00:45:23I mean, still, you could always just sell up, you know, move back to the big smoke with a big

00:45:29fat slab of cash in your pocket.

00:45:31Well, actually, the will that Harry had me sign had a few surprise conditions in it.

00:45:37Harry the old bush lawyer, huh?

00:45:39Yeah.

00:45:40He's been quite the prick in my ointment, too.

00:45:44You know, just let me know if you ever want to get together in Eggers car.

00:45:50Sure.

00:45:52In the meantime, my sylvan soulmate, my... my... my countrified companion, tell me about these will problems.

00:46:04Don't let Mum catch you making friends with that turd-faced Zoran Clegg, or we won't be able to go

00:46:09out on a date tonight.

00:46:10Yeah, and I gotta start locking that dog door.

00:46:13That's not how I get in.

00:46:14Did you just say... our date is tonight?

00:46:17I'll help you pick an outfit.

00:46:28It's an interesting new look.

00:46:30I told you.

00:46:34Hey.

00:46:35I'd tell you the specials, but we don't have any.

00:46:38Esme?

00:46:39Do you ever sleep?

00:46:41I need the wheel.

00:46:43So, drinks to stop?

00:46:45Yeah, do you have, uh, vegan water?

00:46:47Only tap and bottle.

00:46:50Tap.

00:46:51I'll get both.

00:46:52And wine.

00:46:56So, Brendan, what kind of romantic activities do you enjoy?

00:47:01Carl?

00:47:01Sorry, he watches too much TV.

00:47:03No, I mean, I don't mind answering, Kim.

00:47:05Carl, I, uh, let's see, I enjoy fine dining, uh, three-person, multi-generational dates.

00:47:11Being interrogated on said dates is always a real pleasure.

00:47:15What do you see as your biggest weakness?

00:47:18Sorry.

00:47:19Buddy, I thought we agreed if I didn't leave you at home to kill yourself by accident, you wouldn't be

00:47:23a weirdo.

00:47:24So, Kim, I saw you moving your herd the other day.

00:47:28Oh, yeah, my cows.

00:47:30All 144 of them.

00:47:32Wow.

00:47:33That's a lot.

00:47:33I mean, I've always been a dog person, so I guess that makes you a cow person?

00:47:38A dairy farmer, I'd say.

00:47:41Yeah, I took over the farm when Mum and Dad retired.

00:47:44Cool.

00:47:45You okay, buddy?

00:47:55You do realize that there's entire islands of plastic waste in the ocean, right?

00:48:00You know, I would drink to tap, and I'm sure the locals think it's lovely, but if I'm to be

00:48:05honest, it tastes a little bit odd to me.

00:48:09Odd? How?

00:48:10Sort of like it was fresh squeezed from Satan's G-string. Odd.

00:48:15What's a G-string?

00:48:16I'll explain that a bit later in very little detail.

00:48:21Try this.

00:48:30See?

00:48:31You know what? I reckon you need to get your rainwater tank checked.

00:48:33Mum?

00:48:34Rightio, what's going on? Come on.

00:48:36Good.

00:48:37When was the last time that you did a really big...

00:48:39Sorry about this.

00:48:40Do your thing.

00:48:41When did you last do a big poo?

00:48:43Don't use that word at the dinner table.

00:48:45Well, it's pretty obvious to me that none of the blokes at this table drink enough water.

00:48:49Come on.

00:48:49You're coming with me.

00:48:50Let's go.

00:48:50I'm not going to the ladies.

00:48:52Well, you're just gonna have to sort it out by yourself then, won't you?

00:48:54Well, things are really stuck.

00:48:55What do I do?

00:48:58You're going to have to take me.

00:49:00Me?

00:49:00I don't think that's a problem.

00:49:05I've seen plumbers unblock my sink before.

00:49:08This isn't so different.

00:49:12Nice wood paneling.

00:49:15How's it going in there, buddy?

00:49:17It came out halfway, and then it stopped.

00:49:20It's swinging.

00:49:22Alright, alright.

00:49:22Carl, can you see the water below you?

00:49:24That's your target.

00:49:25That's what you're aiming for.

00:49:27There's hardly any water.

00:49:28I don't get it either, man.

00:49:30In America, we'd fill the toilet up to the brim.

00:49:32Your cheeks get a rinse when you sit down.

00:49:34But an Australian toilet, I'm not going to lie, Carl.

00:49:36It's more like a shot glass at the bottom of a well.

00:49:38And it does take a bit of marksmanship.

00:49:41That's fine if your poops are coming out like .52 caliber slugs.

00:49:45But honestly, bro, when I use a toilet,

00:49:48it's like a sawed-off shotgun went off in there.

00:49:50I got a real wide spread.

00:49:56Nice.

00:50:02Hey, you two have gone a while.

00:50:05You okay, baby?

00:50:06Yep.

00:50:06All clear now.

00:50:08As long as we never speak of this again.

00:50:10Sounds good to me, Carl.

00:50:13Hey, mind if I go visit Chef?

00:50:14Sure.

00:50:15Go on.

00:50:18But no rice wine.

00:50:19And don't touch the knives.

00:50:22Alright.

00:50:24So how do you do this?

00:50:25That's classified information.

00:50:26That's between Carl, myself, and that lady over there.

00:50:35So, can we start again?

00:50:39Yes.

00:50:41What was that?

00:50:42Here.

00:50:43Try some of this vinegar.

00:50:44Dab it on wherever they got you.

00:50:46Goddamn.

00:50:47I didn't think car ants were real.

00:50:48Feels like a burning javelin in my neck.

00:50:50Don't worry.

00:50:51It'll go numb in a minute.

00:50:52What will?

00:50:52My whole body?

00:50:53Isma, you've really got to get this old rust fumigated.

00:50:56Vinegar's cheaper.

00:50:57Well, not the end of the night I was hoping for.

00:51:01But, you know, it's still nice to get out of the spider share house for a little while, I guess.

00:51:06Oh.

00:51:08That's the nicest thing that anyone's said to me in the years.

00:51:10Really?

00:51:12Yeah.

00:51:13Is this the bit where they put spit in each other's mouths?

00:51:16Ooh.

00:51:17Hand me my glasses, will you?

00:51:18I probably should have been wearing them anyway.

00:51:22Yeah, I'm gonna take my boy and his overactive imagination home.

00:51:28Alright, that's probably a good idea.

00:51:30By the way, chef, great cooking tonight.

00:51:31That sweet and sour dish was...

00:51:33It was something.

00:51:40Well, terrific date, everybody.

00:51:42We should invite more people next time.

00:51:44Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.

00:52:00Peter Jackson!

00:52:06Iris?

00:52:08Iris, what was all that bloody noise about?

00:52:11We're supposed to be doing a secret operation.

00:52:14We've hit some kind of obstacle, sir.

00:52:17Probably just more dinosaur bones.

00:52:19Had to do a little blasting.

00:52:20Blast quietly.

00:52:45Hey, Dee.

00:52:46Hey, did you hear any loud noises outside last night?

00:52:49Can't say I did.

00:52:51But Mrs. Dee and I were up celebrating our 40th anniversary.

00:52:5540 years?

00:52:56How old are you, Dee?

00:52:58You know what they say.

00:52:59A hard life in the sun keeps you looking young.

00:53:02No, I don't think anyone's ever said that, actually.

00:53:04Like, ever.

00:53:05Huh?

00:53:07Anyway, it's forecast to be extra hot this week,

00:53:09so make sure you water those trees.

00:53:10Will do. Thanks, Dee.

00:53:25Dee?

00:53:32We could put him to work with the others.

00:53:34I don't know.

00:53:35It's a bit weird, this one.

00:53:40Uh, Mr. Bossman?

00:53:42One of those funny farmer fellas have fallen in the tunnels again.

00:53:46How on God's earth does this keep happening?

00:53:49You told us to dig near the surface, sir.

00:53:51Please don't twist my words.

00:53:52Yeah, see, I wasn't twisting them that time.

00:53:54A little bit before, but...

00:53:55Oh my God, why is this so hard?

00:53:56Well, I actually just want to know what to...

00:53:57Dad, you...

00:54:00But...

00:54:00No words.

00:54:02No words.

00:54:03No words.

00:54:05You'll be lost without me, sir.

00:54:08Fuck off.

00:54:12Not running.

00:54:17No words.

00:54:21Yes.

00:54:28Ah...

00:54:44So that's what that terrible noise was.

00:54:50One all.

00:55:18One all.

00:55:44Brendan Brandon pulls into the lead.

00:55:59Oh, please don't be Mitch.

00:56:04This is definitely not vegan water.

00:56:08Oh.

00:56:11Oh.

00:56:11I think I just came over looking for some fencing wire.

00:56:14Hey, Kim.

00:56:16Poor blighter.

00:56:17Thanks.

00:56:18Yeah, it's been a hell of a day.

00:56:20I was talking about the duck.

00:56:21Oh.

00:56:22Strange it even got in there.

00:56:23You know you're gonna need to get that tank empty, sterilized, refilled.

00:56:28Why does farming have to be so much work?

00:56:30Well, lucky this one's a job for the experts.

00:56:32You know what?

00:56:33I'm just gonna text Esme.

00:56:34I'll get her to bring over a vacuum and some cleaning tools.

00:56:37Esme's the tank person as well?

00:56:38Uh-huh.

00:56:40No, she doesn't have much choice, does she?

00:56:41Ever since she sold her farm to that dick-nosed Zoron.

00:56:45No, she barely even covered her debts.

00:56:47Yeah, that Zoron doesn't seem very farmerish to me.

00:56:50And it takes one who's not one to know one who's not one.

00:56:53Well, he never was one.

00:56:55He's just an easy gas money salesman.

00:56:58So no wonder my water tasted like ass.

00:57:00It had actual ass in it.

00:57:02Low-flying duck's ass.

00:57:06You think that's a saying, don't you?

00:57:07I learned it at the pub.

00:57:08It's just it's not flying very high, so it's like really hungry.

00:57:13I mean, I'm hungry.

00:57:17Sir, we have movement detected in the main tunnel.

00:57:21There'd better not be more deserters.

00:57:27Hey, guys.

00:57:28Uh, we're looking for Sydney.

00:57:30No, idiot.

00:57:31That tunnel is just pipe gas back home to New Zealand.

00:57:35It's not a sightseeing hike for dilly-dallying tourists.

00:57:38Back the way you came.

00:57:40Ah, not many sights, bro.

00:57:42It's just darkness longer than Moria.

00:57:44It was the cheapest way to get to Australia.

00:57:46Why would you want to come to Australia?

00:57:48It's full of Australians.

00:57:50They have bad beer.

00:57:52They... malign.

00:57:54All the great New Zealanders.

00:57:55Don't even get me started on the whole cab motor thing.

00:58:00Um...

00:58:01Sir?

00:58:02No, no, no, no.

00:58:03No, no, no.

00:58:04No, no, no.

00:58:05God, don't leave the hatch open during the day.

00:58:07You're gonna ruin everything, you traitors.

00:58:09I'm real sorry about this, Cape Ranchet, but it's only gonna hurt for a second.

00:58:24Sergeant Blake.

00:58:26How are you?

00:58:27Hands where I can see him.

00:58:29Oh, hey.

00:58:30Listen, I appreciate your unique brand of hospitality, but I'm settling in just fine.

00:58:35Thanks.

00:58:36It's your mail.

00:58:38Prank.

00:58:40Oh.

00:58:41Delivering the mail?

00:58:42Well, it is my job.

00:58:45Oh, great.

00:58:46This must be my snake repellent.

00:58:48What do you know about the disappearance of Farmer D?

00:58:50Wait, which job are you now?

00:58:51Don't play dumb with me, Mr. Brandon.

00:58:53Did you say Dee's missing?

00:58:55What do you know about it?

00:58:56Because you look real suspicious to me.

00:58:59Actually, I think you should come down to the station.

00:59:01We need to have a chat.

00:59:03And a newsflash.

00:59:05You're under arrest.

00:59:07But I'm an American citizen, so you haven't read me my Miranda rights.

00:59:11Plus, I get one phone call.

00:59:13Okay.

00:59:15Well, you call this Miranda chick, and then come and find me when you're ready.

00:59:20Sorry.

00:59:21I'll be over here.

00:59:23Sorting letters.

00:59:25Sure.

00:59:35Even if she did arrest somebody, where would they sit?

00:59:38I don't suspect she's ever had that problem.

00:59:48Did she just litter?

00:59:51First Mitch, now Farmer D?

00:59:54I mean, something's going on around here, Harry.

00:59:56Do you think maybe Mitch was onto something?

00:59:58He wouldn't tell me what his latest project was until he had all the pieces in place.

01:00:03I wouldn't give it much stock.

01:00:07Mitch was a secretive bugger.

01:00:09Had all kinds of working theories.

01:00:12You know what they say.

01:00:13Crazy in the head.

01:00:16Crazy in the bed.

01:00:19Speaking of which, Esme told me that when Kim picked up her bread and milk, she also bought a couple

01:00:25of packets of condom.

01:00:27Two packs?

01:00:28One medium, and small.

01:00:31I don't know.

01:00:35I'll see you at the weigh-in.

01:00:40All right, Harry.

01:00:44Who are the mediums for?

01:00:54Hey!

01:00:55You go enjoy your sleepover, buddy. You have some fun, okay?

01:00:59Hey.

01:01:01Thank you for trying to help me fix the fences this arvo.

01:01:06The cows will be fine, Mum.

01:01:08Go on, run along.

01:01:09I'm going to take a look around before it gets dark.

01:01:12Mum?

01:01:13Yeah.

01:01:14Studies show it's important to decompress at the end of a stressful day.

01:01:20Why don't you go and have a play-doh with Brendan?

01:01:23He's not like anyone else around here, is he?

01:01:26He's cool.

01:01:27For the only single guy in a 50K radio.

01:01:30Just be safe, okay?

01:01:32I like being an only child.

01:01:35Carl!

01:01:37Honestly, you...

01:01:39Things that come out of your mouth.

01:01:49Hey, there.

01:01:50Hey.

01:01:51It's been a rough day.

01:01:52My cows have broken through an old fence, buggered off somewhere.

01:01:56Well, I could help you round them up.

01:01:57I've been practicing with Mitch's whip, and I'm kind of a natural.

01:02:00Ah.

01:02:01I'd rather keep my eyeballs where I can see them.

01:02:04Oh.

01:02:04No, I think at this time of day, it's just a good idea to have a drink.

01:02:07So I've got this first, and um...

01:02:10Well, Kim, harvest is tomorrow.

01:02:14Yeah, yeah.

01:02:15But...

01:02:16That does look like a pretty nice box of wine.

01:02:19Come on in.

01:02:22I'll be there in a second.

01:02:27Oi!

01:02:28Calm down!

01:02:41Enjoy your naughty wrestling while you can.

01:02:44Because you won't be making your 20 tons, Mr. Brendan Brindle.

01:02:48Brandon...

01:02:49Brendan...

01:02:49Brandon, whatever you name is.

01:02:55Soon, Mitch's farm is gonna be nice and empty.

01:03:14Good morning.

01:03:15Oh.

01:03:16Hi.

01:03:18Could we not mention this to Carl?

01:03:20Because I just know he's...

01:03:21Kim, I know what you're gonna say.

01:03:22He'll take all the credit.

01:03:23That wouldn't be fair.

01:03:26What's this?

01:03:27Family hangover recipe.

01:03:29Passed down from my great-grandfather.

01:03:30God.

01:03:31Does this stuff even work?

01:03:33Nah.

01:03:33Seriously, Kim.

01:03:34Your country drinks wine out of a bag that comes inside of a box.

01:03:38And you don't have a solution for this?

01:03:40Oh, we do.

01:03:41It's called Harden Up, Princess.

01:03:50Good luck today.

01:03:52I'd love to stay and help, but I've gotta go and get my cows out of Zoron's land.

01:03:56Probably milk some to Des.

01:03:58Okay.

01:03:59See you later.

01:04:00Alright.

01:04:01Okay, bye.

01:04:06Why?

01:04:10Did I do this to myself on Harvest Day?

01:04:13We've got a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot of work to do.

01:04:19Forget about your women when you want a can.

01:04:24Today you're working for the man.

01:04:35I'm picking them up.

01:04:38I'm gonna lay them down.

01:04:41I'm gonna lay them down.

01:04:42I'm gonna lay them down.

01:04:44Move along now.

01:04:46I'm gonna pull to the left.

01:04:50I'm gonna be leaving the right.

01:04:52I'm gonna kill them.

01:04:55But it wouldn't be right.

01:04:57Abi.

01:04:58I'm thinking come out.

01:04:58I'm waking for the man.

01:05:00Working for the man.

01:05:03I'm working for the man.

01:05:15I'm working for the man.

01:05:18You're gonna let them lay.

01:05:21I'm working for the man.

01:05:27You don't relax

01:05:29Come on, Elmo, we're back

01:05:32I want to save you

01:05:34I want to go

01:05:44Iris, what's the progress on the, uh...

01:05:48Are these the nuts?

01:05:50Yes.

01:05:51Well, they can't be that hard to open.

01:05:53Oh, well, they're...

01:05:54Difficult.

01:05:55Come on, it's a bloody nut, Howard.

01:05:57You squashed it.

01:05:59That's kind of great.

01:06:00Hang on, what have you got?

01:06:01Maybe it's easy to cut the things.

01:06:03Oh, careful, sir.

01:06:03I'm fine.

01:06:04I did a knife skills class with Peter Gordon.

01:06:07Ow.

01:06:08Oh, yes.

01:06:10Yes, yes.

01:06:12Oh, give it to me.

01:06:17Oh.

01:06:18That is the second worst thing I have ever put in my mouth.

01:06:24This is a stupid sport.

01:06:26What's the progress on the prototype frag droid?

01:06:29It should be reaching the midpoint of Mitch's farm.

01:06:31Oh, sweet.

01:06:33We go vertical, net minute, motherlite.

01:06:38Oh.

01:06:39Oh.

01:06:53Looks like a pretty good load of nuts to me.

01:06:58It's a plethora of nuts.

01:07:00A veritable profusion of nuts, I would submit.

01:07:05I'll settle for sufficient.

01:07:08Mr. Brendan.

01:07:09It's Brendan.

01:07:09Never mind.

01:07:10What's the weight?

01:07:11Your harvest come in just a bees dick short of 20 tons.

01:07:14Sorry, I'm new to metric system.

01:07:16Where do bees dicks fit in?

01:07:19Look, just take it to the front office and we'll get you sorted.

01:07:2712 kilos under.

01:07:29Is there any wiggle room in this?

01:07:31I'm very sorry, Brendan.

01:07:32I helped Mitch draft up his will before I knew you.

01:07:36And if you failed, we expected you to fail in a really big way.

01:07:41Not by just 12 kilograms.

01:07:45I work so freaking hard.

01:07:48Can we round up?

01:07:50Or give me another chance.

01:07:51I can do better.

01:07:52Any wiggle room I gave you would not stand up in court.

01:07:55And your awful cousin Craig would surely contest it and win.

01:08:02I'm so sorry.

01:08:03I really am.

01:08:06So that's it.

01:08:07I get nothing.

01:08:10Not even a tip.

01:08:11Which, by the way, in my country is customary when you appreciate someone's all-out effort.

01:08:15Every dollar from this crop has to be put back into the farm to keep it operating.

01:08:20That was the point of the 20-ton minimum.

01:08:24Well, can I at least have enough to fly back to the States?

01:08:28Put me down as farm equipment or an export.

01:08:31You can have all the frequent flyer points that Mitch and I were saving up.

01:08:35And that should be enough for a flight with maybe some left over.

01:08:39What am I going to do with extra frequent flyer points?

01:08:41I don't know.

01:08:42Maybe trade them for your imaginary coins.

01:08:45Or whatever they are.

01:08:51Good luck.

01:08:52I don't know.

01:09:28How much were you short by?

01:09:35Well, there was something about a bee with a 12 kilogram dick.

01:09:40How would such a thing get off the ground?

01:09:43Even if it did, it would break every flower it landed on.

01:09:46Probably get kicked out of the hive.

01:09:49The queen would be sorry to see him go.

01:09:51Might as well drink this.

01:09:53No.

01:09:55I actually thought I was doing a pretty good job here.

01:09:58I thought all this was going to be mine.

01:10:01I'm really sorry, Brendan.

01:10:04You know, you're going to work something out.

01:10:06You will.

01:10:07Kim, this was me working things out.

01:10:09And look where that's ended up.

01:10:10I'm going to go home in worse shape than I arrived.

01:10:15You're going back to San Francisco.

01:10:17Well, it's clear that I'm no farmer.

01:10:19And I never will be.

01:10:21I mean, the only thing I was ever good at was guessing crypto.

01:10:23Until I wasn't.

01:10:26Carl would be disappointed to hear that.

01:10:29Kim, I didn't...

01:10:30No, no, it's fine.

01:10:31I mean, it's...

01:10:32It's not like we promised each other anything.

01:10:34I mean, well, one day and a, you know, half-decent wine-fueled route.

01:10:39And what's that?

01:10:42You thought it was half-decent?

01:10:44I thought it was wine-fueled.

01:10:48Let's not drag this out, yeah?

01:10:49I've got a lot to do, so...

01:10:52I'll see you around.

01:10:56You said decent also before the part after that.

01:11:31I'll see you around.

01:12:07Man, I thought we were getting along.

01:12:10I fed you and I watered you.

01:12:13And you couldn't give me 12 more lousy kilos?

01:12:17I'm talking to you, John F. Kennetree.

01:12:20And you, macadamia winehouse.

01:12:23And you, you broke my heart, Lee, for Sutherland.

01:12:48Where were you guys when I needed you?

01:13:08You broke my heart.

01:13:30You broke my heart.

01:13:41You broke my heart.

01:14:04Breaking Dawn at suspect site

01:14:08Appears to be a bunch of soil test holes

01:14:11Something is afoot underfoot

01:14:22Hey, it's Kim

01:14:23I'm probably milking cows right now, so leave a message

01:14:26Hi, Kim

01:14:27Listen, I'm sorry about before

01:14:30I know I've been a real low-flying duck's ass lately

01:14:33I don't even know what I was trying to say

01:14:35But listen, I think I've discovered something

01:14:47March 15, G8

01:14:49The entrance has to be around here somewhere

01:14:53Entrance?

01:14:55Entrance to what?

01:14:58I doubt you even been to a volcano

01:15:06Uh, Mr. Cleak, boss one day

01:15:08Can't be sure, but I think we're being spotted coming out of the hatch

01:15:12How many times do I have to tell you, idiots

01:15:14To keep that hatch closed during the day

01:15:17And once it were all

01:15:19Volcanoes do not have arsehole

01:15:26Kim, Kim, Kim

01:15:27I'm so glad that you called

01:15:28I think I'm being chased by minors

01:15:31You mean underaged kids

01:15:32You mean underaged kids?

01:15:32Not children, you know

01:15:33That's what?

01:15:34Ding, awesome

01:15:36Kim, could you hear me?

01:15:39Oh, shit

01:15:41Hey, it's Kim

01:15:41I'm probably milking cows right now, so leave a message

01:15:44Kim, I'm coming

01:15:45I just, I don't know where you are

01:15:51More stupid bloody coordinates to cross off the list

01:15:53Moro, I'll move on to G7

01:15:56G7

01:16:00G7 part one

01:16:20More voices detected directly below

01:16:23Getting dark, we'll have to continue in G7 tomorrow

01:16:29Who wants

01:16:34G7

01:16:40Where are you, Kim?

01:16:45So that's north

01:16:59Oh, that tastes like socks and carpet

01:17:04Which idiot put oat milk in the fridge?

01:17:13Harry, listen

01:17:15I don't know if I'm going to need a policewoman or a lawyer

01:17:19What?

01:17:21No, I'm not planning a stag party

01:17:23Get over here

01:17:24I'm in the woods behind these place

01:17:42I'm starting penetration of the reserve within five minutes, sir

01:17:46Excellent, Iris

01:17:48Soon

01:17:50Our beloved New Zealand will have enough gas to power her flat screens deep into the night

01:17:58Let's

01:17:58Fuck this joint

01:18:01Sorry about this, miss

01:18:03But

01:18:03A good day of the experience

01:18:04Oh, wow

01:18:08That might have been a bit much

01:18:11Brendan

01:18:13I thought I was going to have to kiss these nuts goodbye

01:18:15These nuts ain't going anywhere, my friend

01:18:19My guy

01:18:20You're Mitch

01:18:21Are you from the CIA?

01:18:23No, I'm Brendan

01:18:24Brandon, your know-nothing nephew

01:18:25I follow the clues you around

01:18:26What, did you have to follow them so slowly?

01:18:29I'll be coming out of my mind down here

01:18:31And my back's killing me

01:18:33Brendan, you need to get the keys

01:18:35Sure

01:18:35Wait, what?

01:18:36Oh, my God

01:18:37You're Strawberry John

01:18:38How was New Zealand?

01:18:39Did you go inside that giant inflatable ball where they push you downhill

01:18:42And then you got to kind of steer while you're in it?

01:18:45Dying to do that thing

01:18:46Oh, I think you might have me confused with someone else

01:18:49Some avocado John

01:18:50No, you're not

01:18:51You know you're not allowed to pick your own nickname, Strawberry

01:18:54That's true, actually

01:18:55Brendan, the keys

01:18:56Yeah, okay, right

01:18:59Kimmy, by the way, I'm sorry about what I said

01:19:01I don't want to go

01:19:02Maybe I can drive Esme's taxi on our free nights

01:19:04We can talk about later, okay

01:19:05You've got to stop Zoran

01:19:06He's about to dump a load of chemicals into the aquifer

01:19:09If he does, all these farms are going to be ruined

01:19:11Got it

01:19:12Mitch

01:19:13Yes

01:19:15Okay, go, we're going to be fine

01:19:16Go, go get Zoran

01:19:17Go

01:19:17No, no, no, no, not now

01:19:20Not now

01:19:21Not now

01:19:23Ow, clouded house

01:19:25Oh, come on, Satan

01:19:28We're so close, I can almost smell the gas

01:19:32Zoran

01:19:33You cheese-eating bastard

01:19:35Stop whatever crazy shit you're doing right now

01:19:38And you're too late

01:19:39You take one step closer and I will push this button

01:19:42Not yet, sir

01:19:43Twenty seconds to go

01:19:46You couldn't keep that to yourself

01:19:52Boom, come on, Mitch

01:19:57Come on, Mitch

01:19:58Come on, Mitch

01:20:01Come on, Mitch

01:20:04No, no, no, no entonces

01:20:07No, no, no, no, no

01:20:08Yes, no, no, no

01:20:10Please!

01:20:11Ow!

01:20:12Dick!

01:20:13What are we doing?

01:20:15You two sort yourselves out?

01:20:16Right.

01:20:21Iris!

01:20:22Iris!

01:20:23Come on!

01:20:24That's the longest 10 seconds ever!

01:20:26Sorry!

01:20:27Just a little firmware update.

01:20:34Get the rematch!

01:20:41Ow!

01:20:49No!

01:20:50Not a blackout!

01:20:56Nonono!

01:21:35Oh

01:21:36Looking for these milk breath

01:21:40Oh, you son of a hippie

01:21:52Sweet guys, I did make my quota. He's beaming low-flying duck-task. Oh

01:22:08Come on

01:22:10Your cowardice Cyrus brings a shadow of shame upon the long white cloud. Let's go home cuz

01:22:19Our jewel is not yet finished

01:22:23Come back down and face me

01:22:29Come with us, please you and I can start again in a less hostile country

01:22:36Really we have one small setback and you're gonna walk out the door

01:22:40God if you leave iris. We will never steal together again

01:22:46Hey, even though no one likes you up here. You should probably get out of there. But I'll face some

01:22:53Kangaroo court. No, thank you

01:22:57Wow

01:23:02You make me sick to my four stomachs

01:23:08Brandon

01:23:15Are you okay?

01:23:16I didn't fail. I didn't fail. What?

01:23:19Is Harry here? Harry!

01:23:21Sack!

01:23:22Check my sack!

01:23:23It must be at least 12 kilos

01:23:25Mitch!

01:23:27You're alive!

01:23:29Oh, thank God!

01:23:31Oh, Harry, my darling

01:23:33I thought I'd never see you again

01:23:36So do you still think all my theories are crazy?

01:23:40I'm just happy that you're okay

01:23:42I'm just happy that you're okay

01:23:43Okay and desperately in need of a shower

01:23:51Oh, young love

01:24:00Very proud of you, Brendan

01:24:01Thanks for bringing him home

01:24:03Well, you're welcome, Harry

01:24:05Aside from saving me from being a mole person

01:24:08Harry tells me you've shown some real grit, Brendan

01:24:11Family farm is yours

01:24:12If you still want it

01:24:15I'd like that a lot

01:24:16I mean, it's hard work

01:24:17But weirdly, I think I really like being a farmer

01:24:24But you're still alive, Mitch

01:24:26I mean, what are you gonna do?

01:24:27I realize down there what's important

01:24:29And I've no time to waste

01:24:31Harry and I are going traveling

01:24:32And if we still like each other after that

01:24:35Maybe we'll get married

01:24:37Maybe I'm not too old to make that mistake again

01:24:39But I will need a better proposal than that

01:24:43By the way, Uncle Mitch

01:24:44For what it's worth

01:24:45I promise to make ongoing attempts

01:24:46To not let you down completely

01:24:49Might have to come by

01:24:50And teach you a thing or two

01:24:51About farming before we leave, though

01:24:54Yeah, that didn't go too well

01:24:57Say, Uncle Mitch

01:24:58What's with that freaky chicken of yours?

01:25:00That's where I hide my crypto wallet

01:25:02I've been following your blog for years

01:25:04And I have a very nice nest egg to show for it

01:25:06Lucky I went missing before you started pushing digi dough

01:25:10Son of a gun

01:25:20So does that mean that you might be sticking around a bit longer?

01:25:24It does look that way, ma'am

01:25:29Next, we'll have to sort out your visa

01:25:32A lot easier if you two were married

01:25:36Tell me all the things you would change

01:25:40I don't pretend to know what you want

01:25:44When you come around and spend my talk

01:25:48Time and again, time and again

01:25:52No fire where I lit my spark

01:25:57I am not afraid of the dark

01:26:00I am not afraid of the dark

01:26:01Will your words devour my heart

01:26:04And put me to shame

01:26:06Put me to shame

01:26:08When your seven worlds collide

01:26:13Whenever I am by your side

01:26:17Then dust from a distant sun

01:26:20Then dust from a distant sun

01:26:21We'll shower over everyone

01:26:32You're still so young to travel so far

01:26:36Old enough to know who you are

01:26:40Wise enough to carry the scars

01:26:43Without any blame

01:26:45There's no one to blame

01:26:48It's easy to forget what you learned

01:26:51Waiting for the thrill to return

01:26:56Feeling your desire burn

01:27:00And drawn to the flame

01:27:02When your seven worlds collide

01:27:05Whenever I am by your side

01:27:09Whenever I am by your side

01:27:10Dust from a distant sun

01:27:14We'll shower over everyone

01:27:19Dust from a distant sun

01:27:22Dust from a distant sun

01:27:24Agh!

01:27:26Agh!

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