The Nut Farm 2024

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00:26:36What? Kim.

00:26:50Your mom sent this?

00:26:52Yep, the only single woman in a 50K radius.

00:26:56Oh, come on.

00:26:58There's got to be at least a couple single women within 50,000 miles.

00:27:02I meant kilometers.

00:27:03But that would be like three feet.

00:27:06Or are kilometers the big one?

00:27:09God, I always confuse kilometers with millimeters.

00:27:42G'day, mate. You must be the new bloke in town.

00:27:45Yeah, that's right.

00:27:46I'm Darren. Call me Dazza.

00:27:47Oh, okay. I'm Brendan. But you can call me Brenda.

00:27:51Sorry.

00:27:53Had to run Harry home to sleep at all.

00:27:56Don't think he'll be billing anybody this afternoon.

00:27:59Esme, this is Brenda.

00:28:03So, you work here too.

00:28:05Go wherever the pay is, love. Get your drink.

00:28:06We got Joseph's Brew, double pay fat bastard on tap.

00:28:09I'm afraid I'm out of Kelly's piss.

00:28:11Well, actually, I just popped in to find out if there's a general store around

00:28:14because I need basic supplies.

00:28:16Of course there is, love.

00:28:18You're standing in the middle of it.

00:28:20Mate, this is cobweb CDB, mate.

00:28:24Central business district?

00:28:28Country dual business, love.

00:28:30You get them in rural areas.

00:28:32So, the post office is also the cop shop.

00:28:34The public pool doubles as the crocodile shelter.

00:28:37That kind of thing.

00:28:39Do you have soaked granola?

00:28:43Well, I could probably run a packet of cornflakes under the tap for you.

00:28:48What about mouthwash?

00:28:54Blistering bushfires.

00:28:56How it's going out?

00:29:00I hope those fridges haven't been off for long.

00:29:05Greetings.

00:29:07Esme, saucy old duck.

00:29:10I'll take your milk, your yoghurt and all of your cheese, please.

00:29:13You're not cleaning us out like you did last time, Zoran.

00:29:17I'm putting a limit on you.

00:29:19Please do.

00:29:20Just limit me to all the fresh ones that are still under four degrees.

00:29:25So, big on the dairy, huh?

00:29:27Yes.

00:29:28I require more than the average person.

00:29:30I'm what's known as lactose inadequate.

00:29:34Are you sure that's a thing?

00:29:36Oh, I know who you are.

00:29:38You're none other than old Mitch's know-nothing nephew from America.

00:29:43Well, I do know a few things, buddy.

00:29:4550,000 people used to follow my crypto blog.

00:29:48That's so exciting.

00:29:50Did they follow you all the way down here?

00:29:52I believe we're almost neighbours.

00:29:53You're nobody's neighbours, Zoran.

00:29:56You're nobody's neighbours, Zoran.

00:29:58That's physically impossible.

00:30:00Best be on your bike, Zoran.

00:30:02You stupid shitbird!

00:30:12Very well, Dazza.

00:30:16It's nice to see everyone hard at work.

00:30:21Don't worry.

00:30:23It'll all be alright in the end.

00:30:26And if not, it'll just drag on.

00:30:30And seemingly never end.

00:30:32Alright?

00:30:38Oh, what an arsehat.

00:30:42Now this is either mouthwash or drain cleaner.

00:30:45Might be a good idea to test it.

00:30:48If you drain, smell good enough to kiss.

00:30:51It's probably mouthwash.

00:30:52Great. Thank you.

00:31:04What?

00:31:04You guys!

00:31:05Turn and spread them!

00:31:06What the hell?

00:31:08I didn't do anything!

00:31:09You're American, aren't you?

00:31:11Yeah, but that's not a crime, is it?

00:31:13Just trying to make you feel at home.

00:31:16I'm fine.

00:31:17Thanks.

00:31:18At least I was.

00:31:19Just trying to be nice.

00:31:21Sergeant Blake, Cobweb Homicide slash Postal Division.

00:31:25Homicide?

00:31:26Slash Postal.

00:31:28What do you know about today's disappearance of Strawberry John?

00:31:32Strawberry who?

00:31:33Strawberry John.

00:31:34Farmer who lives near your place.

00:31:36Yeah, I wonder what he grows.

00:31:38Avocados.

00:31:41Well, he used to grow strawberries, but he hated the nickname.

00:31:45Enough talking about farming.

00:31:48When did you last see him?

00:31:50I've never seen him.

00:31:52Ever.

00:31:52Sounds suspicious.

00:31:53How do you even know where I live?

00:31:55It's my job to know things.

00:31:57Oh, is it?

00:31:58Then maybe you know what happened to my Uncle Mitch?

00:32:01Alright, drop the tone.

00:32:03Considering you inherited his farm, maybe I should be asking where you were when he disappeared.

00:32:09I was in San Francisco.

00:32:10And what were you doing in San Francisco?

00:32:12Well, let's see.

00:32:13I was really busy not even knowing he existed.

00:32:18Guess that counts you out then.

00:32:20This is ridiculous.

00:32:21Can I go now?

00:32:22Yeah.

00:32:24But I'm watching you.

00:32:26So don't leave town, eh?

00:32:28Yeah, if only I could.

00:32:34Enjoy your milk.

00:32:35Our farmers are the best.

00:32:42Oh, why is everything so difficult in this backassment's country?

00:32:46Sir?

00:32:46What?

00:32:48I'm afraid we've just squeezed the last gas out from under Esme's place.

00:32:52My, my place.

00:32:53I bought it.

00:32:54It's my place.

00:32:55So I'm the one with the massive gas problem.

00:32:57This is a bloody disaster.

00:32:59We dig a tunnel all the way from the motherland.

00:33:01We put in a secret gas pipeline.

00:33:03And now you're telling me we don't have enough gas to squeeze through it.

00:33:06What's the latest test result say?

00:33:08Some below D's.

00:33:10But the real reserves are under old Mitch's nut farm.

00:33:15Biggest I've ever seen.

00:33:17Really?

00:33:18Well then, focus in that direction.

00:33:21Forget about the rock shelf.

00:33:22We go fast and close to the surface.

00:33:25Not too close, boss.

00:33:26Or we'll risk another cave-in.

00:33:28That last one took a lot of effort to clean up.

00:33:37That strawberry guy was so difficult to work with.

00:33:40Oh.

00:33:41Look.

00:33:41Once we get above Mitch's reserves, we go vertical.

00:33:45Delve deep into the bowels of the earth.

00:33:47Spill some chemicals into that beloved aquifer they all bang on about.

00:33:51Well, Iris, it is time to frack some more of this stupid island.

00:33:59And keep our beloved New Zealand powered, pristine and green.

00:34:05What about the nut farm's new occupant?

00:34:07Well, the greatest American, ding dong.

00:34:09Nah, he's so stupid he wouldn't even be able to tie his own shoes together.

00:34:12Iris, get digging.

00:34:20Yeah, I think this has probably got a staple cord.

00:34:24All pumped and ready for some first time tractoring.

00:34:30Great work, Carl.

00:34:32You know, you're a handy guy to know.

00:34:33Hey there.

00:34:35Ah.

00:34:36Hi.

00:34:36Brendan, look.

00:34:38It's my still-attractive-for-her-age mother.

00:34:40I'm sorry.

00:34:41I don't know where he picks these things up from.

00:34:43Well, he's not wrong.

00:34:46So...

00:34:46Well, anyway, thanks for letting me borrow young Carl here, miss.

00:34:50I had to get my tractor up and running so I can get out there and, uh, you know, do

00:34:57some shoveling.

00:34:59Mmm, yeah.

00:35:00Certainly sounds like something a farmer might say.

00:35:02And that sounds like something another farmer might say about something a farmer might say.

00:35:07Thus, two farmers saying stuff together.

00:35:13Come on.

00:35:13Oh, hey, Kim.

00:35:15Thanks for sending that gift basket over the other day with Carl.

00:35:20You have beautiful handwriting.

00:35:22Oh, yeah.

00:35:23Of course.

00:35:25It would be, um, rude to not properly welcome you to the neighborhood.

00:35:29And I really enjoyed the bell pepper.

00:35:33But if you're as sick of Mom's meals as I am...

00:35:35Excuse me, what was that?

00:35:37We could all go out to the town's only restaurant.

00:35:39All of us?

00:35:40Uh, no.

00:35:41How about Thursday?

00:35:42You've got nothing on Thursday, Mom.

00:35:44I already cleared your schedule.

00:35:46Actually, I'm pretty sure Phillip has plans on Thursday already, so I'm free too.

00:35:51Thank you, my little angel.

00:35:58Let's go home.

00:36:00Carl?

00:36:01Bye, Carl.

00:36:19You made a big mistake growing here, grass!

00:36:28Say hello to my little tractor!

00:36:31Oh!

00:36:32Oh!

00:36:32How about you?

00:36:34Oh, yeah!

00:36:36I know both ways, baby!

00:36:40How about you?

00:36:42I know one.

00:36:42How about you?

00:36:53Brandon Brandon one farming zero

00:37:01nailed it

00:37:05Philip, home, hope you got plenty to eat today

00:37:19good one Philip you got me you eight-legged knucklehead

00:37:41how bad is this music you had to hide it

00:38:02so

00:38:03so

00:38:04so

00:38:05so

00:38:06so

00:38:43so

00:38:45so

00:38:45and I think maybe Mitch found something that got him in trouble

00:38:47one second

00:38:56I think the birds are up to that good

00:38:59no that's not what I

00:39:00all right hang on let me find the right spot

00:39:03here I'm gonna turn it up

00:39:14is this some kind of joke

00:39:15no Mitch has all kinds of different recordings

00:39:18I mean there's some really crazy stuff in there

00:39:20yeah but he would Mitch was a total conspiracy nut

00:39:22I was always coming in here complaining about stuff

00:39:24one time he filed a complaint about chemtrails

00:39:26as if there's anything I can do about chemtrails

00:39:28they're controlled by aliens

00:39:30maybe what happened to Mitch it's the same thing that happened to strawberry john

00:39:34actually glad you brought that up

00:39:37that has been solved

00:39:38thanks to yours truly

00:39:39look received these in the mail this morning

00:39:42looks like strawberry john's taken himself on a spontaneous little trip to New Zealand

00:39:46so

00:39:46reckons he's having the time of his life

00:39:50that does look pretty fun

00:39:55nice of him to send parse cards

00:39:56it's so much nicer than an email

00:39:58better than the dick pics he usually sends

00:40:12I'm parched as bro

00:40:15this place is hotter than a volcano's asshole

00:40:17which bit is its asshole

00:40:19the bit that's on top of course

00:40:22hey

00:40:23isn't that the face

00:40:24volcanoes don't have faces

00:40:26let's get a drink

00:40:35oh excuse me sorry

00:40:37Brenda

00:40:37how's it going

00:40:38farm life good?

00:40:40it's okay

00:40:40yes mate

00:40:41eat him up with a beer eh

00:40:43look I uh

00:40:44I gotta go

00:40:45so hungry I could eat the ass out of a low flying net

00:40:51duck

00:40:51say Esme

00:40:53is there a mine nearby

00:40:54or something like that?

00:40:56nope

00:40:56no mine around here love

00:40:59nice to see some fresh faces buck

00:41:01we haven't had any tourists around here

00:41:04since the mayor took down those giant dangling nuts

00:41:07on the way into town

00:41:08hmm

00:41:09sorry I missed that

00:41:12oh

00:41:13oh

00:41:15look who the sheep dragged in

00:41:17if it isn't my favourite Australian

00:41:20thus

00:41:21as the worst job ever boss

00:41:24jubbering on about

00:41:26shrumps on barbies

00:41:27and tuts on bulls

00:41:29and adding completely unnecessary vowels

00:41:31and adding completely unnecessary vowels

00:41:31to the end of perfectly good words

00:41:33and thus

00:41:34I'm absolutely

00:41:36sucked to dick

00:41:37of getting about

00:41:39and this outfit

00:41:40that hasn't been washed

00:41:42in such months

00:41:43don't let the convict fashion get you down

00:41:45Mr. Dazza

00:41:46you're part of something far greater than yourself

00:41:49and you're not paid to complain

00:41:53found these idiots topside

00:41:55Indian uniform

00:41:56oh

00:41:57come on boss

00:41:58we've been down here forever

00:41:59we just need a little vitamin D

00:42:01well I'll give you a little vitamin kick up the arse

00:42:04if you don't get back to work

00:42:06move

00:42:06go back to work

00:42:07mmm

00:42:08come on

00:42:09come on

00:42:13now tell me about

00:42:18our new American neighbour

00:42:21will he flee home

00:42:22will he flee home

00:42:23before we start tunneling under his land

00:42:24or

00:42:25do I have to pay him a little visit

00:42:30sorry what was the question?

00:42:32do I

00:42:32I was asking if I had to pay him a little visit

00:42:34sorry

00:42:35I zoned out for a second

00:42:36that's ok

00:42:37um

00:42:37a wee bit difficult to tell actually

00:42:39really?

00:42:40yeah

00:42:41what's he like?

00:42:42thoroughly decent chap

00:42:43as far as I'm concerned

00:42:44yeah

00:43:04I reckon this will make your life a little easier

00:43:07do you want me to throw it up to you?

00:43:08uh that's ok

00:43:09I'll come down

00:43:10you sure?

00:43:15Russell Crowe it's hot up here

00:43:17yeah

00:43:19I thought I'd uh

00:43:20come and offer you an official welcome

00:43:22you wouldn't happen to have any nice refreshing

00:43:25cheese

00:43:26would you?

00:43:36good stuff

00:43:37was that single origin?

00:43:40I

00:43:41believe so

00:43:42it's magnificent

00:43:47you have some milk to wash it down

00:43:49sorry

00:43:49haven't been to the pub today

00:43:55so

00:43:56Mr. Brandon

00:43:57Brandon

00:43:58Brandon

00:43:59no it's Mr. Brandon

00:44:01Mr. Brandon

00:44:02first may I offer my sincere condolences

00:44:05on the tragic death

00:44:06of your uncle Mitch

00:44:07I mean people say he's dead

00:44:08but

00:44:09as he most surely is

00:44:11I mean

00:44:12the land around here claims so many

00:44:14it's a grueling life being a farmer

00:44:16and

00:44:16at the end your uncle was broken

00:44:18and bent double

00:44:19by enduring hardship

00:44:21and I would not be at all surprised

00:44:23if he just

00:44:25crawled off into the bush

00:44:26and lay down forever

00:44:27under his favourite tree

00:44:29you wouldn't happen to know where that is would you?

00:44:31you are from San Francisco

00:44:32from what I hear

00:44:33yeah

00:44:33San Francisco

00:44:34my favourite of all the cities

00:44:36after Christchurch

00:44:37and Auckland

00:44:38and Wellington

00:44:39and uh

00:44:42and

00:44:43and Queenstown

00:44:45Squish

00:44:47and

00:44:49and

00:44:49Farmerston North

00:44:51but you must miss it terribly

00:44:53well sure

00:44:54I mean there's a few things I miss

00:44:55like

00:44:56sourdough bowls

00:44:57uh

00:44:57same day delivery

00:44:59medical marijuana

00:45:01sourdough bowls

00:45:02they take the bread

00:45:03and they

00:45:03hollow out the bread

00:45:04and put the clam chowder

00:45:05in the bread

00:45:06so you eat the soup

00:45:07and then you eat the bowl

00:45:10I mean

00:45:13it must be so hard

00:45:15being so far from home

00:45:16in a place that's so strange

00:45:18knowing that you stare down

00:45:20a fate as miserable as poor old Mitch

00:45:23I mean still

00:45:24I mean you could always just sell up

00:45:25you know

00:45:27move back to the big smoke

00:45:28with a big fat slab of cash in your pocket

00:45:31well actually the will that Harry had me sign

00:45:33and had a few

00:45:34surprise conditions in it

00:45:36Harry the old bush lawyer

00:45:38huh

00:45:39yeah

00:45:40he's been quite the

00:45:41prick in my ointment too

00:45:44you know

00:45:44just let me know

00:45:46if you ever want to

00:45:47get together in Eggers car

00:45:49sure

00:45:51in the meantime

00:45:52my

00:45:53sylvan soulmate

00:45:55that makes

00:45:55my

00:45:56cautified companion

00:45:58tell me about these will problems

00:46:04don't let mum catch you

00:46:05making friends with that turd face

00:46:07Zora and Clegg

00:46:08or we won't be able to go out on a date tonight

00:46:10yeah

00:46:11and I gotta start locking that dog door

00:46:12that's not how I get in

00:46:14did you just say

00:46:16our date is tonight

00:46:17I'll help you pick an outfit

00:46:28it's an interesting new look i told you

00:46:35hey i'd tell you the specials but we don't have any esme do you ever sleep i need the wheel

00:46:43so drinks to start yeah do you have a vegan water only tap and bottle

00:46:49tap i'll get both and wine so brendan what kind of romantic activities do you enjoy

00:47:00carl i'm sorry he watches too much tv no i mean i don't mind answering kim carl i uh let's

00:47:06see i

00:47:07enjoy fine dining uh three-person multi-generational dates being interrogated on said dates is always

00:47:14a real pleasure what do you see as your biggest weakness sorry buddy i thought we agreed if i

00:47:21didn't leave you at home to kill yourself by accident you wouldn't be a weirdo so kim

00:47:25i saw you moving your herd the other day oh yeah my cows all 144 of them wow that's a

00:47:33lot i mean i've

00:47:34always been a dog person so i guess that makes you a cow person a dairy farmer i'd say yeah

00:47:41i took over

00:47:42the farm when mom and dad retired cool you okay buddy

00:47:55you do realize that there's entire islands of plastic waste in the ocean right you know i would

00:48:01drink to tap and i'm sure the locals think it's lovely but if i'm be honest it tastes a little

00:48:06bit odd to me odd how it's sort of like it was fresh squeezed from satan's g-string odd

00:48:14what's a g-string i'll explain that a bit later in very little detail try this

00:48:31see you know what i reckon you need to get your rainwater tank checked mom rightio what's going

00:48:35on come on when was the last time that you did a really big sorry about this do your thing

00:48:41when

00:48:41did you last do a big poo don't use that word at the dinner table well it's pretty obvious to

00:48:46me

00:48:46that none of the blokes at this table drink enough water come on you're coming with me let's go i'm

00:48:50not going to the ladies well you just have to sort it out by yourself then won't you well things

00:48:54are

00:48:54really stuck what do i do you're going to have to take me me i don't think that's a problem

00:49:04i've

00:49:05seen plumbers unblock my sink before this isn't so different nice wood paddling how's it going in

00:49:16there buddy it came out halfway and then it stopped it's swinging all right all right carl can you see

00:49:23the water below you that's your target that's what you're aiming for there's hardly any water i don't

00:49:29get it either man in america we fill the toilet up to the brim your cheeks get a rinse when

00:49:33you sit

00:49:33down but an australian toilet i'm not going to lie carl it's more like a shot glass at the bottom

00:49:38of

00:49:38a well and it does take a bit of marksmanship that's fine if your poops are coming out like

00:49:4352 caliber slugs but honestly bro when i use a toilet it's like a sawed-off shotgun went off in

00:49:50there i got a real wide spread hey you two have gone a while you're okay baby yep all clear

00:50:07now

00:50:08as long as we never speak of this again sounds good to me carl hey mind if i go visit

00:50:13chef sure

00:50:24that's classified information that's between carl myself and that lady over there

00:50:36so can we start again yes what was that here try some of this vinegar dab it on wherever they

00:50:45got

00:50:46you god damn i didn't think car ants were real feels like a burning javelin in my neck don't worry

00:50:50it'll go numb in a minute what will my whole body it's made you've really got to get this old

00:50:55rust

00:50:56fumigated vinegar's cheaper well not the end of the night i was hoping for but you know it's still

00:51:02nice to get out of the spider share house for a little while i guess oh it's the nicest thing

00:51:08that anyone's said to me in years really yeah is this the bit where they put spit in each other's

00:51:15mouths oh hand me my glasses will you i probably should have been wearing them anyway

00:51:23yeah yeah i'm gonna take my boy and he's over active imagination home all right that's probably

00:51:29a good idea by the way chef great cooking tonight that sweet and sour dish was it was something

00:51:40well terrific date everybody we should invite more people next time

00:52:00peter jackson

00:52:07iris iris what was all that bloody noise about we're supposed to be doing a secret operation

00:52:14we've hit some kind of obstacle sir probably just more dinosaur bones

00:52:18had to do a little blasting well blast quietly

00:52:45hey d hey did you hear any loud noises outside last night can't say i did but mrs d and

00:52:52i were

00:52:52up celebrating our 40th anniversary 40 years how old are you d oh you know what they say

00:52:59a hard life in the sun keeps you looking young no i don't think anyone's ever said that actually

00:53:03like ever huh anyway it's forecast to be extra hot this week so make sure you water those trees

00:53:10will do thanks d will do thanks d d

00:53:32we could put them to work with the others i don't know it's a bit weird this one

00:53:40uh mr boss man one of those funny farmer fellas have fallen in the tunnels again

00:53:46how on god's earth does this keep happening you told us to dig near the surface sir please don't

00:53:51twist my words yes i wasn't twisting them that time oh my god why is this so hard well i

00:53:56actually

00:53:57just want to know what to judge but no words no words you'll be lost without me sir

00:54:10ah

00:54:11all right

00:54:16ah

00:54:18ah

00:54:20ah

00:54:22ah

00:54:23ah

00:54:25ah

00:54:44that's what that terrible noise was

00:54:50one all

00:54:51ah

00:55:06ah

00:55:07ah

00:55:09ah

00:55:19ah

00:55:24ah

00:55:25ah

00:55:26ah

00:55:28ah

00:55:29ah

00:55:38ah

00:55:41ah

00:55:48ah

00:55:52ah

00:55:53ah

00:55:56ah

00:55:57ah

00:56:00ah

00:56:01ah

00:56:01be Mitch. This is definitely not vegan water. I think I just came over looking for some fencing

00:56:13wire. Hey Kim. Poor blighter. Thanks yeah it's been a hell of a day. I was talking about the

00:56:20duck. Oh. Strange it even got in there. You know you're gonna need to get that tank emptied,

00:56:25sterilized, refilled. Why does farming have to be so much work? Well lucky this one's a job for the

00:56:32experts. You know I'm just gonna text Esme. I'll get her to bring over a vacuum and some cleaning tools.

00:56:37Esme's the tank person as well? Uh-huh. No she doesn't have much choice does she? Ever since

00:56:41she sold her farm to that dick-nosed Zoron. She barely even covered her debts. Yeah that Zoron

00:56:48doesn't seem very farmerish to me. And it takes one who's not one to know one who's not one. He

00:56:53never

00:56:54was one. He's just an easy gas money salesman. So no wonder my water tasted like ass. It had

00:57:00actual ass in it. Low flying duck's ass. You think that's a saying don't you? I learned it at the

00:57:08pub.

00:57:08It's just it's not flying very high so it's like really hungry. I mean I'm hungry.

00:57:17Sir we have movement detected in the main tunnel. You better not be more deserters.

00:57:27Hey guys. We're looking for Sydney. No idiot. That tunnel is just pipe gas back home to New Zealand. It's

00:57:35not a sightseeing hike for dilly dallying tourists. It's back the way you came.

00:57:39Ah not many sights bro. It's just darkness longer than Moria. It was the cheapest way to get to Australia.

00:57:46Why would you want to come to Australia? It's full of Australians. They have bad beer. They malign. All the

00:57:54great New Zealanders. Don't even get me started on the whole pervert with them.

00:58:01Um. Sir?

00:58:02No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Oh god. Don't leave the hatch

00:58:06open during the day. You're gonna ruin everything. You traitors.

00:58:09I'm real sorry about this Cape Ranchet but it's only gonna hurt for a second.

00:58:24Sergeant Blake. How are you? Hands where I can see him. Oh. Hey. Listen. I appreciate your unique brand of

00:58:32hospitality but I'm settling in just fine. Thanks.

00:58:36It's your mail.

00:58:38Prank.

00:58:40Oh. Delivering the mail?

00:58:42Well it is my job.

00:58:43Sorry.

00:58:45Oh great. This must be my snake repellent.

00:58:48What do you know about the disappearance of Farmer D?

00:58:50Wait. Which job are you now?

00:58:51Don't play dumb with me Mr. Brandon.

00:58:53Did you say D's missing?

00:58:55What do you know about it? Because you look real suspicious to me.

00:58:58Actually I think you should come down to the station. We need to have a chat.

00:59:03And uh. Newsflash.

00:59:05You're under arrest.

00:59:06But I'm an American citizen. So you haven't read me my Miranda rights. Plus I get one phone call.

00:59:13Okay. Well you call this Miranda chick and then come and find me when you're ready. I'll be over here

00:59:22sorting letters.

00:59:24Please? Sure.

00:59:35Even if she did arrest somebody where would they sit?

00:59:37I don't suspect she's ever had that problem.

00:59:48Did she just lit her?

00:59:52First Mitch. Now Farmer D.

00:59:54I mean something's going on around here Harry.

00:59:56Do you think maybe Mitch was on to something?

00:59:57He wouldn't tell me what his latest project was until he had all the pieces in place.

01:00:03I wouldn't give it much stock.

01:00:07Mitch was a secretive bugger.

01:00:09Had all kinds of working theories.

01:00:12You know what they say.

01:00:13Crazy in the head.

01:00:16Crazy in the bed.

01:00:19Speaking of which.

01:00:20Esme told me that when Kim picked up her bread and milk.

01:00:23She also bought a couple of packets of condom.

01:00:27Two packs?

01:00:28One medium.

01:00:30And small.

01:00:35All right.

01:00:35I'll see you at the weigh-in.

01:00:39All right here.

01:00:44What are the mediums for?

01:00:54Hey.

01:00:55You go enjoy your sleepover buddy.

01:00:57You have some fun okay.

01:00:59Hey.

01:01:03For trying to help me fix the fences this hour though.

01:01:06The cows will be fine mum.

01:01:08Go on.

01:01:09Run along.

01:01:09I'm going to take a look around before it gets dark.

01:01:12Mum.

01:01:13Yeah.

01:01:14Studies show it's important to decompress at the end of a stressful day.

01:01:20Why don't you go and have a play date with Brendan?

01:01:23It's not like anyone else around here is he?

01:01:26It's cool.

01:01:27For the only single guy in a 50k radio.

01:01:30Just be safe okay.

01:01:32I like being an only child.

01:01:35Carl.

01:01:37Honestly you.

01:01:39Things that come out of your mouth.

01:01:49Hey there.

01:01:50Hey.

01:01:51It's been a rough day.

01:01:52My cows have broken through an old fence.

01:01:55Buggered off somewhere.

01:01:56Well I could help you round them up.

01:01:57I've been practicing with Mitch's whip and I'm kind of a natural.

01:02:00Ah.

01:02:01I'd rather keep my eyeballs where I can see them.

01:02:04Huh.

01:02:04No I think at this time of day it's just a good idea to have a drink.

01:02:07So I've got this first and um.

01:02:09Well Kim harvest is tomorrow.

01:02:13Yeah yeah.

01:02:14But that does look like a pretty nice box of wine.

01:02:19Come on in.

01:02:21I'll be there in a second.

01:02:27Oi.

01:02:28Calm down.

01:02:41Enjoy your naughty wrestling while you can.

01:02:44Because you won't be making your 20 tons Mr. Brendan Brindle.

01:02:48Brandon.

01:02:49Brendan.

01:02:49Brandon would have been that.

01:02:55Soon Mitch's farm is going to be nice and empty.

01:03:13Good morning.

01:03:15Oh hi.

01:03:18Could we not mention this to Carl?

01:03:20Because I just know he's.

01:03:21Kim I know what you're going to say.

01:03:22He'll take all the credit.

01:03:24That wouldn't be fair.

01:03:26What's this?

01:03:27Family hangover recipe.

01:03:29Passed down from my great grandfather.

01:03:30God.

01:03:31Does this stuff even work?

01:03:33Nah.

01:03:33Seriously Kim.

01:03:34Your country drinks wine out of a bag.

01:03:37That comes inside of a box.

01:03:38And you don't have a solution for this?

01:03:40Oh we do.

01:03:41It's called hard milk princess.

01:03:50Good luck today.

01:03:52I'd love to stay and help.

01:03:53But I've got to go and get my cows out of Zoron's land.

01:03:56Before he milks them to death.

01:03:58Okay.

01:03:59See you later.

01:04:00Alright.

01:04:01Okay bye.

01:04:01Bye.

01:04:05Oh.

01:04:08Why?

01:04:09Did I do this to myself on harvest day?

01:04:13We've got a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot of work to do.

01:04:18Forget about your women.

01:04:22When you want a can.

01:04:24Today you're working for the man.

01:04:35I'm taking them up.

01:04:38I'm laying them down.

01:04:41I'm laying them down.

01:04:42Go.

01:04:43Go.

01:04:43Move along now.

01:04:46I'm going to pull to the left.

01:04:50Keep to the right.

01:04:52I want to kill them.

01:04:54But it wouldn't be right.

01:04:57Cause I'm working for the man.

01:05:00Working for the man.

01:05:03Gotta let him stand.

01:05:06Working for the man.

01:05:09Oh.

01:05:15Pick up his feet.

01:05:18Got a deadline to meet.

01:05:20Back, back, back, back.

01:05:21I'm going to see.

01:05:24I'm going to see.

01:05:26You don't get.

01:05:29You're going to see.

01:05:34ähnlich.

01:05:44Iris, what's the progress on the...

01:05:48oh these are nuts yes well they can't be that hard to open oh well bit difficult come on it's

01:05:56a

01:05:56bloody not how I squashed it that's kind of great maybe it's easy to cut the things oh careful sir

01:06:03I'm fine I did a knife skills class with Peter Gordon oh oh yes yes yes oh give it to

01:06:13me

01:06:17oh that is the second worst thing I have ever put in my mouth this is a stupid sport what's

01:06:26the

01:06:26progress on the prototype frag droid it should be reaching the midpoint of Mitch's farm sweet we go

01:06:33medical net minute mother life looks like a pretty good load of nuts to me

01:06:58it's a plethora of nuts a veritable profusion of nuts I would submit I'll settle for sufficient

01:07:08it's Brandon it's Brandon but never mind what's the weight your harvest come in just a

01:07:12beesdick short of 20 tons sorry I'm I'm new to metric system where do beesdicks fit in

01:07:19look just take you to the front office and uh we'll get you sorted

01:07:2712 kilos under is there any wiggle room in this I'm very sorry Brendan I helped Mitch draft up his

01:07:34will before I knew you and if you failed we expected you to fail in a really big way

01:07:41not by just 12 kilograms I worked so freaking hard can we round up or give me another chance I

01:07:51can do

01:07:52better any wiggle room I gave you would not stand up in court and your awful cousin Craig would surely

01:07:58contest it and win I'm so sorry I I really am so that's it I get nothing not even a

01:08:11tip

01:08:11which by the way in my country is customary when you appreciate someone's all-out effort

01:08:15every dollar from this crop has to be put back into the farm to keep it operating that was the

01:08:21point of the 20 ton minimum well can I at least have enough to fly back to the states put

01:08:28me down as

01:08:29farm equipment or an export you can have all the frequent flyer points that Mitch and I were saving

01:08:35up and that should be enough for a flight with maybe some leftover what am I going to do with

01:08:40extra-frequent flyer points I don't know maybe trade them for your imaginary coins or whatever they are

01:08:51good luck

01:09:29how much were you short by well there was something about a bee with a 12 kilogram dick

01:09:40how would such a thing get off the ground even if it did it would break every flower it landed

01:09:45on

01:09:46probably get kicked out of the hive the queen would be sorry to see him go might as well drink

01:09:52this no

01:09:55I actually thought I was doing a pretty good job here I thought all this was gonna be mine

01:10:01I'm really sorry Brendan you know you're gonna work something out you will

01:10:07Kim this was me working things out and look where that's ended up I'm gonna go home in worse shape

01:10:11than I arrived

01:10:15you're going back to San Francisco

01:10:17well it's clear that I'm no farmer and I never will be I mean the only thing I was ever

01:10:22good at was

01:10:22guessing crypto until I wasn't

01:10:26I'll be disappointed to hear that

01:10:29Kim I didn't know I didn't mean I mean it's it's not like we promised each other anything I mean

01:10:34well one day and a half decent wine fueled route and what's that

01:10:42you you thought it was half decent I thought it was wine fueled

01:10:48let's not drag this out yeah I've got a lot to do so I'll see you around

01:10:56you you you said decent also before the part after that

01:11:10you

01:12:08I thought we were getting along.

01:12:10I fed you and I watered you.

01:12:13And you couldn't give me 12 more lousy kilos?

01:12:17I'm talking to you, John F. Kennetree.

01:12:20And you, macadamia winehouse.

01:12:23And you.

01:12:24You broke my heart, Lee, for Sutherland.

01:12:48Where were you guys when I needed you?

01:13:08You broke my heart.

01:13:37You broke my heart.

01:13:56Hopefully Mother Nature will water the trees for me while I continue my search.

01:14:04Breaking Dawn at suspect site.

01:14:08Appears to be a bunch of soil test holes.

01:14:11Something is afoot underfoot.

01:14:23Hey, it's Kim. I'm probably milking cows right now, so leave a message.

01:14:27Hi, Kim. Listen, I'm sorry about before. I know I've been a real low-flying duck's ass lately.

01:14:33I don't even know what I was trying to say, but listen, I think I've discovered something.

01:14:46March 15, G8. Entrance has to be around here somewhere.

01:14:53Entrance? Entrance to what?

01:14:56Because I know volcanoes.

01:14:58I doubt you've even been to a volcano.

01:15:05Uh, Mr. Cleek, boss Monday.

01:15:08I can't be sure, but I think we've been spotted coming out of the hatch.

01:15:12How many times do I have to tell you idiots to keep that hatch closed during the day?

01:15:17And once and for all, volcanoes do not have assholes!

01:15:26Kim, Kim, Kim, I'm so glad that you called-

01:15:28Brandon, I think I'm being two-point-miners!

01:15:31You mean underage kids?

01:15:32Not children, you know, that's-

01:15:34Dick, awesome!

01:15:37Kim, could you hear me?

01:15:39Oh, shit.

01:15:41Hey, it's Kim. I'm probably milking cows right now, so leave a message.

01:15:44Kim, I'm coming. I just- I don't know where you are.

01:15:50More stupid bloody coordinates to cross off the list.

01:15:53Moro, I'll move on to G7.

01:15:56G7.

01:16:00G7 part one.

01:16:12G7 part one.

01:16:16More voices detected directly below.

01:16:23Getting dark will have to continue in G7 tomorrow.

01:16:26G7 part one.

01:16:28G7 part one.

01:16:30G7 part one.

01:16:31G7 part one.

01:16:34G7.

01:16:35G7 part one.

01:16:39G7 part one.

01:16:40Where are you, Kim?

01:16:45So that's north.

01:16:59oh that tastes like socks and carpet which idiot put oat filth in the fridge

01:17:14harry listen i don't know if i'm gonna need a police woman or a lawyer

01:17:20what no i'm not planning a stag party get over here i'm in the woods behind these place

01:17:43isolating penetration of the reserve within five minutes sir excellent iris soon

01:17:50our beloved new zealand will have enough gas to power the flat screens deep into the night

01:17:58let's fuck this joint sorry about this miss but it'd be good to have experienced

01:18:04the key oh wow that might have been a bit much brendan ken i thought i was gonna have to

01:18:14kiss

01:18:14these nuts goodbye these nuts ain't going anywhere my friend my guy you're mitch are you from the cia

01:18:22no i'm brendan brandon you're no nothing nephew i follow the clues you left what did you follow

01:18:27them so slightly i'll be coming out of my mind down here and my back's killing me brendan you need

01:18:33to

01:18:33get the keys sure wait what oh my god you're strawberry john how was new zealand did you go

01:18:40inside that giant inflatable ball where they push you downhill and then you got to kind of steer while

01:18:44you're in it i'm dying to do that thing oh i think you might have me confused with someone else

01:18:49some

01:18:49avocado john no you're not you know you're not allowed to pick your own nickname strawberry that's

01:18:54true actually brendan the keys yeah okay right kimi by the way i'm sorry about what i said i don't

01:19:01want to go maybe i can drive esme's taxi on our free night we can talk about it later okay

01:19:05you've got

01:19:05to stop zoron he's about to dump a load of chemicals into the aquifer if he does all these farms

01:19:10are

01:19:10going to be ruined got it mitch yes okay go we're going to be fine go go get zoron go

01:19:17no no no not now

01:19:19not now don't now ow clouded house oh come on satan we're so close i can almost smell the gas

01:19:32zoron you cheese eating bastard stop whatever crazy you're doing right now and you're too late

01:19:39you take one step closer and i will push this button not yet sir 20 seconds to go

01:19:45you couldn't keep that yourself

01:19:55come on mitch

01:20:03no no no no no no yes no no no no jeez

01:20:10Ow! Dick!

01:20:13What are we doing?

01:20:15You two sort yourselves out?

01:20:21Iris! Iris!

01:20:23Come on, that's the longest

01:20:2410 seconds ever! Sorry!

01:20:27Just a little firmware update.

01:20:34Get the rematch!

01:20:41Ow!

01:20:44Ow!

01:20:49No! Not a blackout!

01:20:52Ah!

01:20:54Ah!

01:20:55Ah!

01:20:56Ah!

01:20:58Ah!

01:20:58Enough!

01:21:01Hey!

01:21:06Oh.

01:21:11Ah!

01:21:12Oh, no, no.

01:21:13Ah!

01:21:15Oh!

01:21:20No!

01:21:20Come on, hurry above me, up there!

01:21:22Come last!

01:21:23Sorry?

01:21:24Ah!

01:21:26Ah!

01:21:28Art!

01:21:35Looking for these, milk-breath?

01:21:40You son of a hippie!

01:21:52Sweet gans.

01:21:53I did make my quota.

01:21:55You thieving, low-flying duck-tash!

01:21:57No!

01:21:59Suck my nutsack, Zora!

01:22:02Brazen, come on. We gotta go.

01:22:09Your cowardice Cyrus brings a shadow of shame upon the long white cloud.

01:22:15Let's go home, cuz.

01:22:19Our duel is not yet finished!

01:22:22Come back down and face me!

01:22:29There! Come with us! Please!

01:22:32You and I can start again, in a less hostile country!

01:22:36Really? We have one small setback and you're gonna walk out the door!

01:22:40God! If you leave Iris, we will never steal together again!

01:22:46Zora, hey, even though no one likes you up here, you should probably get out of there!

01:22:51Right on, face some kangaroo court!

01:23:01You make me sick to my four stomachs!

01:23:13Brandon!

01:23:15Are you okay?

01:23:16I didn't fail. I didn't fail. Is Harry here? Harry! Sack! Check my sack!

01:23:23It must be at least 12 kilos!

01:23:25Mitch!

01:23:27You're alive!

01:23:29Oh, thank God!

01:23:31Oh, Harry, my darling!

01:23:32I thought I'd never see you again!

01:23:36So do you still think all my theories are crazy?

01:23:40I'm just happy that you're okay.

01:23:42Okay and desperately in need of a shower.

01:23:50Oh, young love.

01:24:00Very proud of you, Brendan. Thanks for bringing him home.

01:24:03Well, you're welcome, Harry.

01:24:05Aside from saving me from being a mole person, Harry tells me you've shown some real grit, Brendan.

01:24:11Family farm is yours, if you still want it.

01:24:15I'd like that a lot. I mean, it's hard work, but weirdly, I think I really like being a farmer.

01:24:24But you're still alive, Mitch. I mean, what are you gonna do?

01:24:27I realize down there what's important, and I've no time to waste.

01:24:31Harry and I are going traveling, and if we still like each other after that, maybe we'll get married.

01:24:37Maybe I'm not too old to make that mistake again, but I will need a better proposal than that.

01:24:43By the way, Uncle Mitch, for what it's worth, I promise to make ongoing attempts to not let you down

01:24:47completely.

01:24:49Might have to come by and teach you a thing or two about farming before we leave, though.

01:24:54Yeah, that didn't go too well.

01:24:57Say, Uncle Mitch, what's with that freaky chicken of yours?

01:25:00That's where I hide my crypto wallet.

01:25:02I've been following your blog for years, and I have a very nice nest egg to show for it.

01:25:06Lucky I went missing before you started pushing Digido.

01:25:10Son of a gun.

01:25:20So, does that mean that you might be sticking around a bit longer?

01:25:23It does look that way, ma'am.

01:25:29Next, we'll have to sort out your visa.

01:25:31A lot easier if you two were married.

01:25:36Tell me all the things you would change

01:25:40I don't pretend to know what you want

01:25:44When you come around and spend my talk

01:25:47Time and again, time and again

01:25:51No fire where I lit my spark

01:25:57I am not afraid of the dark

01:26:00Will your words devour my heart

01:26:04And put me to shame

01:26:06Put me to shame

01:26:09When your seven worlds collide

01:26:13Whenever I am by your side

01:26:16And just from a distant sun

01:26:21We'll shower over everyone

01:26:31You're still so young to travel so far

01:26:36Old enough to know who you are

01:26:40Wise enough to carry the scars

01:26:43Without any blame

01:26:45There's no one to blame

01:26:47It's easy to forget what you learned

01:26:51Waiting for the thrill to return

01:26:55Feeling your desire burn

01:26:59And drum to the flame

01:27:02And your seven worlds collide

01:27:05Whenever I am by your side

01:27:11Just from a distant sun

01:27:14We'll shower over everyone

01:27:19We'll shower over everyone

01:27:20Dust from a distant sun

01:27:22Dust from a distant sun

01:27:23Grr

01:27:25Grrr

01:27:26Sigh

01:27:26D

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