- 19 hours ago
13 Reasons Why - Season 2 Episode 5
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:28Nothing that's worth anything
00:30comes without pain.
00:43A work of art is only good
00:45if it arises from necessity,
00:47from need.
00:50It can be political need
00:51or personal need
00:53or ideally both.
00:59Art should be confrontation.
01:01It should shock and scare you.
01:04And Hannah?
01:06She was an artist in need.
01:09And I think that's what happened.
01:12She freaked people out.
01:15All right.
01:19And how does this not make us
01:20more likely to be
01:21the targets of abuse and ridicule?
01:24Because it's like
01:26claiming the word as our own.
01:29Reappropriation.
01:30Like saying,
01:30we're the assholes,
01:32so don't fuck with us.
01:33Okay, yeah,
01:34sort of like our superhero outfits, right?
01:36Like, it's a bird,
01:38it's a plane,
01:38it's the assholes.
01:40It's us.
01:40Yeah, just
01:42maybe don't say that.
01:53A soul in need
01:54needs a way to express it.
01:57Silence is never the answer.
02:00When there's so much
02:01going on inside you,
02:05society expects us
02:06to stay silent.
02:16And it's a dangerous thing
02:17when there's so much
02:18going on inside you,
02:20but no one to share it with.
02:24Kevin?
02:25Honey, you forgot your lunch.
02:27Thanks.
02:28I'll be right there.
02:29Okay.
02:48Good Lord,
02:49these morning practices
02:50are killing me.
02:51I'm passing out
02:52at exactly 4.30 today.
02:55Or,
02:56you could come back
02:57to my place.
02:58I don't think
02:59I'm gonna have the energy.
03:01For dinner?
03:01My parents want to meet you.
03:02They do?
03:03Yeah.
03:04That's so cool!
03:06Oh, my God,
03:06that's so terrifying.
03:07No, it's no big deal.
03:09My dad just happens
03:09to be in town for a bit.
03:12I'm always talking about you.
03:14I'm so excited!
03:16Amazing.
03:16I'll see you in third.
03:17Okay, bye.
03:22Oh, hey, babe,
03:22I wanted to talk to you about...
03:23Wait, I should buy a dress.
03:25Can I use a bike dress?
03:26Okay, or at least
03:26go home and change.
03:28I'll need at least an hour, okay?
03:30Yeah, fine.
03:31Hey, how is practice?
03:32With all the captain's stuff
03:34and, you know, Jess?
03:36It's great.
03:37It's going really well.
03:38Cool.
03:39Awesome.
03:39Okay.
03:40Bye.
03:40Bye.
03:42Hannah needed to reclaim her power.
03:45Are you gonna ask him
03:46about the Polaroid?
03:47I don't trust him
03:49any more than I did yesterday.
03:50How can you not trust
03:52that little sleeping angel?
04:00What the fuck are you looking at?
04:04Justin, do you think
04:05that you can keep
04:06your shit together
04:07until someone comes over
04:08to look after you later?
04:10I'm not.
04:11I'm the runner-leader.
04:11I gotta get to school.
04:12I'm fine.
04:13I don't...
04:14I don't need a babysitter.
04:16It's just so fucking cold in here.
04:19It's chills.
04:19He has a fever.
04:20It's chills.
04:21You have a fever.
04:21Well, get him another blanket.
04:32Maybe a shower would help?
04:34Not that bad.
04:35You smell like dead feet.
04:36Just shower.
04:38Please.
04:39I'm hungry.
04:41How can you be hungry?
04:42You threw everything up.
04:45Maybe that's why I'm hungry.
04:48Take a shower.
04:52Have you seen this?
04:54Oh, God.
04:55Was there anyone in your class
04:57this Hannah wasn't involved with?
05:00What?
05:00What do you mean?
05:01Every day,
05:02there's another boy in this story.
05:05It's not surprising
05:06that she had a reputation.
05:10I will just be glad
05:11when this is all over
05:12for you tomorrow
05:13and you are as far removed
05:15from this mess as possible.
05:19Yeah.
05:34Hey.
05:35Your mom started to think
05:36you were avoiding us.
05:37Avoiding you?
05:38No, no, no.
05:38I've just got
05:39a lot going on, you know?
05:41You can't take every meal
05:42in your room, kiddo.
05:44I've just got
05:46so much work.
05:47How about taking
05:48a break with me tonight?
05:50Vertigo's at the Crestmont.
05:51Let's go.
05:53Oh, wow.
05:56Is that the shower?
05:58Yeah.
05:59Yeah, that's my...
06:00I just figured
06:01I'd grab some food
06:02while I let it heat up.
06:03Yeah, that new
06:03tankless heater
06:04takes a while to warm up.
06:05It shouldn't take this long.
06:06It's not a big deal.
06:07No, sometimes the valve
06:09is on the cold side.
06:09It's all good.
06:10Have some coffee.
06:12Yeah, I'll get more.
06:13Yeah, movie tonight.
06:15Exciting.
06:15So, yeah.
06:16Thanks.
06:25What the fuck?
06:26Ah, yeah, yeah.
06:28Plenty hot.
06:29Water heater's totally working.
06:34Shit.
06:35Sorry.
06:36Just twice.
06:37Okay.
06:45Can you get out now?
06:46Don't have to look like
06:47I'm the one in the shower,
06:48you idiot.
06:51Well,
06:53can you pass me
06:53some more shampoo?
06:55You need to be
06:56sympathetic, Olivia.
06:57I worry about
06:58calling Ryan Shaver.
06:59His deposition
07:00was practically smug.
07:01When we're putting
07:01pieces together,
07:02we have to get
07:03Hannah's poem
07:03into evidence
07:04and he's the one
07:05who printed it.
07:11Good morning.
07:12Hi, I'm Andy.
07:13Oh, of course.
07:14I remember.
07:15Will you be joining us today?
07:17No, no, he won't.
07:20Well, I'll give you two
07:20a minute.
07:27I want to be here
07:28with you.
07:29I need to be here.
07:31I'm sorry I haven't been.
07:33The things that
07:34they've been saying
07:35in there,
07:36things that you'll hear,
07:39we have no idea.
07:41I'll learn.
07:47I don't know.
07:48It's definitely
07:49not the pool house.
07:52So where is it then?
07:54I could ask
07:55one of the guys
07:56and maybe figure out.
07:58No.
07:58Yeah.
07:59You stay here
08:00until you're clean
08:01for Jessica.
08:04I could just
08:04show this around.
08:06It's...
08:06No, I got it.
08:07Thanks.
08:08Fuck me.
08:09Fuck.
08:12Wait.
08:14He's my babysitter?
08:15What happened to Sherry?
08:17Sherry couldn't
08:17skip twice in a row.
08:19She's taking
08:19the evening shift.
08:21I thought he wanted
08:22nothing to do with me.
08:23No, I don't.
08:24So keep your mouth shut
08:26and don't piss me off.
08:27Don't piss me off.
08:29And if you puke
08:30on this leather,
08:31I'm going to have
08:31to kick your ass.
08:32Great.
08:33So,
08:36WebMD detox
08:37and contingency plans
08:38are on the desk.
08:38Don't let anyone
08:39see you.
08:40And I got to go.
08:42Have fun.
08:44Don't kill each other.
08:45Thanks.
08:46Bye.
08:49But as is almost
08:50always the case
08:51in high school,
08:51we mock
08:52what we don't understand.
08:53And that's what
08:54the kids at Liberty
08:55did to Hannah.
08:55And what about faculty?
08:56I mean,
08:57didn't they express
08:58concern over the poem's
08:59suicidal contents?
09:01The poem was read
09:01aloud in Mrs. Cusick's
09:02class.
09:03That's about it.
09:04So,
09:05no one addressed
09:06the anonymous author's
09:08obvious cry for help
09:10or ask you
09:11who wrote it.
09:12Nope.
09:13No one took it seriously.
09:15But then again,
09:16they rarely do.
09:36Mr. Downs,
09:37the city of night
09:38to the city of fools.
09:40Child without a horse
09:41that he rides to the school.
09:42My office?
09:43Now?
09:48Now?
09:59I think you know
10:00why you're here.
10:01Yeah,
10:02I'm aware.
10:09You want to tell me
10:10about these?
10:12Wait,
10:13that's what this is about?
10:14You took the pictures?
10:17Yeah.
10:18Last year.
10:20How'd they end up saying
10:21drunk slut?
10:23Mr. Porter,
10:23I didn't do that.
10:24I went into
10:25the photography classroom
10:26and the printed history
10:28in the lab
10:28said that you were signed in.
10:30Someone must have used it
10:31while I was developing
10:32in the darkroom then.
10:33Okay.
10:35So,
10:36do we know
10:37who might be doing this
10:38to Jessica then?
10:40Same person
10:40who smashed my camera.
10:41Did anyone ever find them?
10:43Who Jessica and I
10:44get messed with?
10:45And the people
10:46that deserve to get
10:47messed with never do.
10:48I think that can change.
10:50I'll believe it
10:50when I see it.
10:54Okay.
11:06Isn't this like
11:07your special resources period?
11:10Yeah,
11:10I hate that shit.
11:11I just,
11:12I gotta listen to these again.
11:16Alex,
11:20last time you listened,
11:21I think multiple times.
11:23Yeah,
11:23I don't know.
11:23I just,
11:24I keep listening to mine
11:26over and over again
11:26because it doesn't make sense.
11:29It's like I'm missing something.
11:33Do you,
11:34do you want to talk about it?
11:36Aren't we talking about it?
11:38I guess so.
11:46Hey,
11:46what,
11:47what is that guy doing?
11:48Uh,
11:49chalking the field.
11:51What is that machine?
11:52Well,
11:53I,
11:53I guess it's a
11:54chalk machine.
11:56I gotta go.
11:58Well,
11:58I don't know
11:58if it's called
11:59a chalk machine.
12:00No,
12:00I just,
12:02look,
12:03don't listen too hard,
12:04okay?
12:05Yeah.
12:25It seems like nothing
12:26until the hurricane.
12:28Is that why you did it,
12:30Alex?
12:36I can't pretend to know
12:37what's going on
12:38in someone else's head.
12:39It's poetry.
12:41Most of the poets
12:42in our group
12:42write about dark
12:43and messed up things.
12:44So,
12:44you had no idea
12:46that Hannah was
12:46crying out
12:47for help in her work
12:48or so the prosecution
12:49would have us believe,
12:50but you expect the school
12:52to draw that conclusion?
12:54Well,
12:54it's their job,
12:55isn't it?
12:55I mean,
12:56I'm sorry,
12:57but I'm not a licensed
12:58therapist or a teacher.
13:00Ryan,
13:01isn't it true
13:01that you worked with Hannah
13:03on many of her other poems?
13:05Some,
13:06yes.
13:08And,
13:09do you recognize these?
13:16Yes,
13:17they're other poems
13:18from Hannah's journals.
13:19Defense exhibit F,
13:21your honor.
13:21Uh,
13:22Ryan,
13:23did you work with Hannah
13:24on this poem?
13:25Yes,
13:25I did.
13:27Would you read this poem
13:28for the court, please?
13:36Oh,
13:37fruit forbidden,
13:37so sour,
13:38so sweet.
13:39I have been banished
13:40from the garden,
13:41and I don't think I miss it.
13:43And yet,
13:44I want another bite.
13:48I like how you
13:49subverted the ode.
13:50That's good.
13:52some obvious
13:53metaphors there,
13:55but there's
13:56a universality to it.
13:59I'm just...
14:01Sorry,
14:02keep going.
14:03I was going to say,
14:04I'm just wondering
14:05if you shouldn't
14:06delve a little deeper,
14:07but you said
14:07you had another one
14:08you wanted to read.
14:09Uh,
14:09yeah.
14:11I...
14:12I...
14:12You know,
14:13it seems silly,
14:13but the no-phone rule
14:14is for a very good...
14:20Justin Foley?
14:23Shut up.
14:25Are...
14:26Hang on.
14:29Holy shit.
14:31He's your forbidden fruit?
14:32No, he's not.
14:33Like, we just text sometimes.
14:34Oh, you text.
14:35And talk on the phone
14:36a little.
14:37Since when?
14:38I don't know.
14:39He texted me that day
14:40saying I'm sorry,
14:41and then again
14:42the next day,
14:43eventually I stopped
14:44ignoring him.
14:45And it felt good
14:46to know that things
14:47didn't end up
14:48the way that people
14:48think they did.
14:49What?
14:50You just told me
14:51to delve deeper.
14:52Not into him.
14:53You said yourself
14:54he ruined you.
14:55I know.
14:56I know.
14:57I just...
14:58Okay.
14:58I get it.
14:59He makes all
15:00our panties drop.
15:01Wait, you think
15:02Justin's hot?
15:03Of course I do.
15:04I'm not blind
15:05or, like,
15:05chemically castrated.
15:07You said,
15:07and I'm quoting,
15:08that he was the exemplar
15:10of Athleticus Douchbaggaris.
15:12Which only makes him hotter.
15:13I know, right?
15:14How is that even fair?
15:15All right.
15:16No, enough.
15:17You put your hand
15:18on the hot stove.
15:18Owie,
15:19you've learned your lesson.
15:21Yes?
15:22Yes.
15:26You are going to
15:27delete him from your phone
15:28and cleanse him
15:29from your heart.
15:30Well, we should probably
15:31skip my next three poems.
15:34Why?
15:39It was the smile
15:40that did it first,
15:41the way it seemed so easy
15:42for you to be so happy.
15:45That smile,
15:46I wish I'd never seen.
15:48Stop it.
15:52And do you know
15:53who this poem is about, Ryan?
15:56Objection, hearsay?
15:57Declare and unavailable,
15:58Your Honor.
15:59I'll allow it.
16:00And who is this poem about, Ryan?
16:07I don't know.
16:10Ryan, why don't you
16:11read another poem for us?
16:15Fucking Ryan,
16:16Ryan Shaver.
16:17Every single kid
16:19who's gone to court
16:19has completely skated.
16:22No one has admitted
16:23what they did.
16:24It's just me.
16:24I'm the only one.
16:27Yeah, that Ryan's
16:28a fucking tool.
16:29Worst kind of gay.
16:34I mean, I didn't mean that
16:36because he's gay.
16:36Oh, I did.
16:37He's fucking shallow
16:39and pretentious
16:40and he fucking
16:40dresses gay
16:41every day.
16:43Classic homo.
16:45Chad's also gay.
16:47FYI,
16:48hence he can say shit
16:49the rest of us can't.
16:52And if you ever
16:53want to fuck with him,
16:55there's an app for that.
17:04I raised you
17:06three rectangular ones.
17:10If I win,
17:12we get to go outside.
17:14No.
17:14Come on, just for like a while.
17:16I'm sorry.
17:18You heard the boss, man.
17:19Besides, you get people
17:20looking for you
17:21on both sides of the law.
17:24Since when is Tony Padilla
17:25afraid of shit like that?
17:33Well, holy shit.
17:35You are scared.
17:38Why?
17:55My brothers and I,
17:57we beat this guy up.
17:58He ended up
17:59pressing charges
18:00a few weeks later.
18:01That was my second strike.
18:03Now I'm on probation.
18:05If I get seen with you,
18:07we get busted.
18:10That means number three.
18:11That means I do time.
18:16Shit.
18:23What the fuck
18:24happened to you?
18:26You don't gotta tell me.
18:27No, no.
18:28It's...
18:31It's cool.
18:33It's...
18:34I just basically
18:36blew through
18:36most of my money
18:38the first few weeks
18:39I was out
18:40living in like
18:41motels and shit.
18:44Yeah, oxy was like
18:45taking the edge off
18:46but
18:48all these pills
18:49are so pricey
18:50and
18:51that heroin's cheap.
18:55So you know,
18:56here I am.
19:00Shitting myself
19:01in Clay Jensen's bathroom.
19:10Put your fucking shoes off.
19:17So your parents
19:18weren't pissed
19:18about yesterday?
19:20No.
19:21They were disappointed.
19:23Oh, disappointed.
19:25I hate that shit.
19:27Plus, they want me
19:28to go to group therapy.
19:29Talk to someone.
19:32You can always talk to me.
19:33That's what I said.
19:35Yeah, I won't, um...
19:38try to kiss you
19:39every time or anything.
19:41Yeah.
19:44About that, I, uh...
19:45No, I mean, I...
19:47We don't have to...
19:48We don't have to be about that
19:50ever again.
19:53Okay.
19:55Thanks.
19:59I listened to the tapes.
20:01Clay finally gave them to me.
20:05Jesus.
20:09Are you, um...
20:11Are you okay?
20:12Yeah.
20:13Are you?
20:16You never told me
20:17the whole story
20:17about Bryce.
20:19If I wanted to talk about that,
20:20I'd go to stupid group therapy.
20:23Okay.
20:25Yeah, I got it.
20:26I don't even know
20:27the whole story of myself.
20:29I don't remember all of it.
20:32Yeah.
20:33Me neither.
20:37Here we go.
20:40I think I saw
20:41one of those chalk machine things
20:42in here somewhere.
20:44Which would mean...
20:46The pictures were taken at school.
20:49And?
20:51You're gonna be huge
20:52for your case.
20:56And?
21:02And, holy shit,
21:03there it is.
21:18You gotta find that room.
21:19Do I put that target
21:20on my back again and again?
21:22Or do I face a lifetime
21:23of wanting the thing
21:25I should not have?
21:26You've read three of these poems now,
21:28so I'll ask you again.
21:30Who are these poems about?
21:32Objection.
21:32Asked and answered.
21:34Your Honor.
21:35I'll allow it.
21:43Who's the poem about, Ryan?
21:47Justin Foley?
21:50Justin Foley?
21:51So, after Justin Foley,
21:54in her own words,
21:55ruined her
21:56and destroyed her reputation,
21:58she maintained contact with him?
22:00Yes.
22:01And kept writing poetry about him?
22:04Yes.
22:04Nearly a half dozen poems.
22:07Any further mention of depression
22:08or cries for help?
22:12No.
22:14And to your knowledge,
22:16did she maintain
22:17personal contact
22:19with Justin Foley?
22:21I...
22:22I don't know.
22:39Uh, hey.
22:41You...
22:43You texted me you were here?
22:45Never thinking you would, like,
22:46come visit.
22:48Yeah.
22:49Well...
22:51Did you just feel like a latte?
22:54Uh, actually,
22:55do you think they have Gatorade?
22:57I'm guessing no.
23:00Yeah, I've actually
23:01never been in here.
23:02Well, neither have
23:03any of your friends,
23:04so it's safe.
23:06Well, that's not...
23:07I just...
23:11We haven't really talked
23:12in a while, so...
23:14I thought maybe
23:15I wanted to see you,
23:16that's all.
23:17Well, you see me at school.
23:19Yeah, but you know
23:20how that is.
23:21I don't, really.
23:22How is it?
23:23Look, I don't fucking
23:24like it either.
23:27But once you get tagged
23:28at Liberty,
23:29that's what you've got.
23:30Your tag seems a little easier
23:31to live with than mine.
23:33Look, I said I was sorry.
23:35You know, I've been
23:36saying it for months.
23:38Texting it, mostly.
23:39Well, I am.
23:44Sorry I'm late.
23:46Why, hello, Justin.
23:47Uh, hey, hey.
23:49What's up?
23:51Yeah, we were just
23:52finishing up
23:53some homework stuff, so...
23:56Yeah, I'll see you at school.
23:57Sure.
23:58Talk to you at school.
24:05He just showed up.
24:06Hmm.
24:07I didn't ask him to.
24:11I know.
24:13Okay?
24:14I know.
24:14Leave me alone.
24:15Cleanse him.
24:15Hannah, cleanse.
24:18Cleanse.
24:18I mean, she wrote about
24:20longing, about love,
24:21and the lack of love.
24:22Why didn't you publish
24:23any of those poems?
24:24Because they weren't
24:25any good.
24:26Ryan, be honest.
24:28You published the poem you did,
24:29not because it was her truth,
24:30but because you thought
24:31thought it would shock the most,
24:33didn't you?
24:39No.
24:41She wasn't happy.
24:43She was extremely upset
24:45and hurting.
24:46She wrote about Justin
24:47and other boys
24:48because she was lonely.
24:51It's not about them.
24:52It's about
24:53what they represented,
24:55what they did to her
24:56and what you're doing to her.
24:58No further questions,
24:59Your Honor.
25:00Thank you, Ryan.
25:00Redirect, Your Honor.
25:02Ryan,
25:04why do you think
25:05Hannah continued
25:05texting with Justin?
25:07Justin Foley was a bad decision.
25:10We all make bad decisions,
25:13especially when we're
25:14desperately alone.
25:17I think we should
25:18head back now.
25:19No.
25:20It's so nice out.
25:22Some fresh air,
25:23some vitamin D,
25:26some, some...
25:28Oh, shit.
25:29Oh, come on.
25:32Shit.
25:35Sorry.
25:36Jesus Christ, man.
25:37Don't fucking talk to people.
25:39I was just apologizing
25:40to the purple tracksuit ladies.
25:44I don't get this whole
25:45secret agent routine.
25:47Oh, really?
25:48You don't get
25:48that there are some people
25:49who might not be happy
25:50to have you back?
25:55Jessica wants me back.
25:57That's all that fucking matters.
26:00Yeah.
26:01Yeah.
26:02Right?
26:03That's what she said, right?
26:04I didn't talk to her.
26:05Clay did.
26:07He said she wants me here.
26:11Yeah, I don't think, uh...
26:13I don't think it's that simple.
26:16What?
26:17What is it?
26:18Does that car look familiar to you?
26:20Whose is it?
26:21I don't know,
26:21but obviously,
26:22they go to our school,
26:24so you got your wish.
26:25Everybody's gonna know you're back.
26:33I'm glad you came.
26:35Me too.
26:36That was a lot to take.
26:38Well, today was a good day.
26:40It can get much worse, believe me.
26:42I believe you.
26:44We'll see you tomorrow.
26:50It's nice seeing you two together.
26:54And nice for the jury, too, right?
26:55That's not what I'm thinking.
26:57Well, I am.
26:58Okay.
26:59I understand.
27:01I'm worried about you, though.
27:04It's easy to fall into old patterns.
27:07To rely on someone who has proven unreliable.
27:13Don't worry.
27:15I've moved on.
27:18A lot of us keep holding on,
27:20even when we should let go.
27:31Shit.
27:33Floors don't match.
27:35No couch.
27:37Damn it.
27:39There has to be some athletics room somewhere.
27:42Maybe Justin could still help.
27:47You would say that.
27:49What does that mean?
27:52How are you so quick to forgive him?
27:54I didn't say I forgave him.
27:55Why do girls even like guys like Justin?
27:58I mean, why did you?
27:59He's always been an asshole.
28:01His best friend is a rapist.
28:03I didn't know that then.
28:05You were warned.
28:06Kat warned you.
28:08So it's my fault?
28:10I'm not saying that.
28:12What are you saying, then?
28:15I just...
28:19I don't understand
28:20why people love people
28:21who aren't good for them.
28:22I don't know what to tell you.
28:25We don't choose who we fall for.
28:30Yeah.
28:33Tell me about it.
28:59You sure it was Justin?
29:01That's what I heard.
29:03Hey, why would he be with Tony?
29:04You think he came back to testify?
29:06Fuck if I know.
29:07Okay.
29:08All right.
29:08Sit up.
29:12State guy's coming down tomorrow
29:13to do the screens.
29:15So if that is a concern for you,
29:17see me in my office.
29:20Hey.
29:21All set for tomorrow?
29:23For court?
29:24You want me to come with you?
29:25That's all right, coach.
29:26Thanks.
29:29You think that's why I came back here?
29:31I don't know.
29:32Drop it.
29:34Go.
29:34Everything's fine.
29:36Yeah, you keep saying that.
29:38You keep telling me
29:39you got shit taken care of,
29:40but I don't see it.
29:41And why the fuck do you care, exactly?
29:45You, man.
29:46Us.
29:47State.
29:49All taken care of.
29:51Go.
29:51Get your synthetic pee.
29:56Zach, are you coming?
29:57No, I'm good, brother.
29:58Don't need it.
29:59Not going to tell on us, are you?
30:01Why, you think I'm a rat?
30:04No, of course not.
30:06I just wish I had your genes, man.
30:09You did all right.
30:11You flatter me.
30:13Got your back, brother.
30:17Thanks, buddy.
30:18Yeah.
30:24Thanks, ladies.
30:25I'm probably overthinking it,
30:27but not every girl gets to meet the parents, right?
30:30True.
30:31Later, girl.
30:31Bye.
30:32Hey, Jess.
30:34Great work today.
30:36Thanks.
30:37Sorry we had to end early.
30:38I have to go home and change
30:39for dinner with Bryce's parents.
30:41I have no idea what I'm going to wear.
30:44Yeah.
30:45You know, I'm pretty sure you could wear anything, Chloe,
30:47and they'll still love you.
30:49Hey, Jess.
30:51We'll find you a man, okay?
30:53You just have to let me help you.
30:54I mean it.
30:55I kind of pride myself on my matchmaking.
30:58Look, Chloe, I don't want a fucking boyfriend, okay?
31:02The last thing I need in my life right now
31:04is some fucking guy.
31:08And you...
31:09The fact that you keep, like, offering that...
31:12means you're just as fucking clueless as I thought.
31:24I was trying to be Hannah's friend.
31:27I needed a friend as much as she did.
31:33Um...
31:34Hi.
31:37Hi.
31:38I, um...
31:40I was friends with Hannah,
31:41and I let her down, and I'm sorry.
31:43But I just wanted to come by
31:45and say that what they're doing to her is bullshit.
31:52Can I...
31:55Can I ask you some questions
31:57about Hannah's journals?
32:00Oh, um...
32:03Yes.
32:04Of course.
32:14She mentions the clubhouse
32:16in three different poems.
32:19Something changed
32:20after the clubhouse.
32:23I imagined myself for a moment
32:25one of the elite,
32:26but I never should have gone
32:27to the clubhouse.
32:28In his lucky letter jacket.
32:30Then that's gotta be Justin, right?
32:33It could be.
32:34I don't know.
32:36I...
32:36I don't remember anything
32:37about a clubhouse.
32:39Damn it.
32:40Okay, uh...
32:42What about
32:42the intruder?
32:45He comes up
32:46several times, too.
32:47There's a whole poem
32:48about him.
32:49Sometimes the intruder
32:50doesn't need to break a window.
32:52Sometimes they already
32:53have the key.
32:55Do you know this one?
32:57No.
32:59I think it's about
33:00the bullying at the school.
33:03The house is on fire.
33:05Her lungs are filling up
33:07with smoke,
33:07and the intruder,
33:08it's this other Hannah
33:10that everyone thought
33:11they knew.
33:12I don't know.
33:13That makes sense.
33:23It's fucking useless, Ryan.
33:25We write and write
33:26about shit,
33:27and nothing ever changes.
33:28I'm done.
33:29Hannah,
33:30you have a gift.
33:31I'm not just gonna
33:31let you throw that away.
33:33A gift?
33:34You say that so easily,
33:35like you know.
33:36I do.
33:37Yeah, well,
33:37I wish I did.
33:39I wish I didn't need people
33:40to tell me that I'm good,
33:41or that they like me,
33:43but I do.
33:44That's great stuff.
33:46That's what you should
33:47write about.
33:47No.
33:48Enough writing
33:49about my emotions.
33:50Can we just eat them?
33:52Yeah, we can totally
33:53eat them.
33:56Vanilla or mint chocolate chip?
33:58Please.
33:59Vanilla is not a flavor,
34:00it's an admission of defeat.
34:08Hannah was so talented,
34:10but she didn't know it.
34:13And she wrote out of love,
34:14out of need.
34:20And I wanted to show her
34:22that the rush of people
34:23loving your work
34:24is just as good as love.
34:28So I stole her poem.
34:38It was just one poem.
34:48But I was wrong.
34:50I'm sorry I can't be
34:51more helpful.
34:54Sometimes I fantasize
34:57that all the answers
34:58are in these
34:59torn out pages.
35:01Oh, I don't think so.
35:05I imagine those
35:07are just false starts
35:08or things she's ashamed
35:11to even admit to herself.
35:14Why did she keep
35:15in contact with Justin?
35:17Loneliness.
35:20It can be intense
35:21at our age.
35:22It's not just
35:23at your age.
35:30What she needed most
35:32was love.
35:33Human connection.
36:02Eden quit.
36:04Eden quit.
36:05Cheerleading because
36:06Justin's back.
36:10And our news travels
36:11fast in these halls.
36:13Don't care.
36:14You don't care
36:15that he's back?
36:16No.
36:17You know where he's staying?
36:21Justin needs help, too.
36:24He should be enrolled
36:25in school.
36:26The only address
36:27I have of him
36:28is his dad
36:29in Sacramento.
36:33Oh, well.
36:34just, I'll
36:35be honest.
36:38I know what it's like
36:40to try to be strong
36:43and keep your problems
36:44all of you.
36:45But it does not work.
36:49You don't have to talk to me.
36:53But talk to someone.
36:56If I don't have to talk to you,
36:57can I go?
37:07Justin's never met his dad.
37:10His mom lives
37:11with some drug dealer
37:11named Seth.
37:27Do you think she likes her?
37:29Your mother?
37:30Yeah.
37:30Yeah, sure.
37:34Chloe's a great girl.
37:36Very pretty.
37:37She's got a brain, too.
37:39Her grades are better
37:39than mine.
37:42She's loyal?
37:44Yeah.
37:47That's important.
37:48You do good.
37:50Thanks, Dad.
37:52There we go.
37:53Okay.
37:55Wow.
37:57You seem quite happy,
37:58the two of you.
38:00Oh, yeah, absolutely.
38:01He's so sweet to me,
38:02like, all the time.
38:04Sweet.
38:04Yeah.
38:06That's good to hear.
38:07Okay.
38:16Oh, cheerleading.
38:18Full contact sport.
38:20I see.
38:22Okay.
38:25How do you know
38:26about Justin?
38:27Because Jessica told me
38:29when we ditched
38:29with your car yesterday.
38:31I said that Clay
38:32went and found him.
38:33Clay?
38:34Yeah.
38:36Okay, well,
38:36do you know anything
38:37about, like,
38:38where he's living
38:38or why he's back?
38:40No, Zach,
38:40I really don't fucking care.
38:42Why is everything
38:43always about fucking Justin?
38:44Whoa, relax, dude.
38:46It's not.
38:49Hey.
38:50Are you okay?
38:52Yeah.
38:53Jessica and I kissed yesterday.
38:56Seriously?
38:57Dude, that's great.
39:00Is that great?
39:02Yeah, well,
39:03but then she freaked out on me.
39:06And now it's just,
39:07it's totally weird.
39:10Yeah, I mean,
39:11it makes sense
39:11that she would freak you out.
39:13Yeah.
39:14But I just,
39:15I still think it has
39:16something to do with Justin.
39:18And you know what's
39:19the most fucked up?
39:21It's when we kissed.
39:22I couldn't even feel anything.
39:25You mean, like,
39:26emotionally or?
39:27No, like,
39:28down there.
39:29I was just numb.
39:32Huh.
39:33Yeah,
39:33I haven't really felt anything,
39:34like, post-coma.
39:36Have you tried porn?
39:38Yeah, of course
39:39I've tried porn,
39:40but I thought
39:40with a real person
39:41maybe it would,
39:41you know.
39:43Yeah.
39:44Well, dude,
39:45honestly,
39:46it'll happen.
39:47Just gotta find
39:47the right girl.
39:48Yeah?
39:49Yeah.
39:50All right,
39:51well, let me know
39:51when you find yours.
39:53Maybe she's got a friend
39:54who's into scrawny
39:55and broken.
39:57Well, not broken forever.
40:00Let's go.
40:01Come on.
40:06I'm sorry, Sherry.
40:08He went to the movies
40:09with his dad.
40:11He must have
40:12forgotten to text you.
40:14Yeah, he must have.
40:17I'm happy that you two
40:18are friends again.
40:20I know you've been
40:20through a great deal.
40:22Yeah, we have.
40:24I think Clay's still
40:25working on trying
40:25to forgive me, though.
40:26Well, he asked you
40:28to come study.
40:29Yeah.
40:30Actually, why don't you stay
40:31and wait for him?
40:34Sure.
40:40Can I ask you a question
40:41for a case
40:42that I'm working on?
40:44Let's say a boy
40:46and a girl
40:47have been texting
40:48a lot
40:49and then all of a sudden
40:50it stops.
40:52What would that mean?
40:54Well, they were probably
40:55dating, right?
40:56Then they broke up.
40:57What if they never dated?
40:59I don't know.
41:00That's probably
41:01just a hookup.
41:03Hannah was desperate
41:05for human connection
41:06and I betrayed her.
41:11I guess I left her
41:13even more lonely
41:13than she was before.
41:19And I guess I know
41:20how she feels.
41:41How'd it go today?
41:43Um,
41:44not great, actually.
41:46But you're fine.
41:47I didn't say anything
41:47if that's what you're worried about.
41:48I wasn't.
41:49I just wanted to know
41:52how you were doing.
41:53Are you here alone?
41:56You want to join us?
41:58Us?
42:00Caleb,
42:01Ryan,
42:02Ryan,
42:02Caleb.
42:03Nice to meet you.
42:04Nice
42:06handshake.
42:07Wow.
42:09Are you sure
42:10you don't want to join us?
42:12Yeah, actually,
42:13no, I was just leaving.
42:14I got set up.
42:15Apparently my date
42:15joined the app today.
42:16He's a noob,
42:17so, you know.
42:19Um,
42:20forget him.
42:20Stay.
42:21Plus I want some dirt
42:22on Mr. Perfect here.
42:23Oh, he knows about our past.
42:25That's barely any of it.
42:27So you're not interested
42:28in high school bullshit?
42:29If it's about you,
42:31I am.
42:32Come on, Ryan.
42:34Seriously.
42:35Stay.
42:38What Hannah needed
42:39was a friend.
42:41And I wasn't that.
42:44For the longest time,
42:47nothing was the same.
42:49How long I slept,
42:51what I ate,
42:52what I wore.
42:55I mean,
42:55my clothes
42:56didn't feel like me anymore.
42:58You know,
42:58just bright colors
42:58made me feel like a fraud,
42:59and my black clothes
43:00didn't seem dark enough,
43:01and just nothing
43:03seemed to fit.
43:03Just literally
43:04everything felt like a lie.
43:07And nothing I did
43:08seemed to help.
43:09No drink,
43:10no drug.
43:12Well,
43:13I didn't actually
43:15try every drug,
43:15but let me tell you,
43:16we just had me crying
43:17and all in my feelings.
43:19You know,
43:20the one thing
43:21that did seem to help
43:21was all of you.
43:24And I'm thankful today
43:25that just
43:27coming here
43:27and talking to you
43:28has been the thing
43:29that's brought me
43:30back to who I am.
43:32You know,
43:33a loud, pushy,
43:34pain in the ass.
43:37But you know
43:38you love me.
43:39And I love you.
43:50Took you long enough.
43:54How did you know
43:57about me?
43:58Um,
44:00I didn't.
44:01I just figured
44:02in case those rumors
44:03were bullshit,
44:04which they obviously were,
44:05that I'd be a friendly face.
44:07friendly and
44:09slightly stalkerish.
44:11I don't stalk,
44:12I lurk.
44:13Oh, okay.
44:14It worked,
44:15didn't it?
44:18Yeah.
44:41Hey, sorry, what?
44:43That's, um,
44:46some music.
44:48It's punk.
44:50Oh.
44:52They sound
44:53angry.
44:55They are.
44:56Oh.
44:57Okay.
44:58Uh,
45:00what are they
45:02so angry about?
45:04Everything.
45:06I see.
45:07Yeah.
45:12Mr. Barber
45:13called today
45:14from up the street.
45:16He said he saw
45:17you and your friend
45:17Cyrus shooting guns
45:19on his property.
45:21What?
45:23Shooting guns?
45:26That wasn't me.
45:27I don't know.
45:28I don't get crazy,
45:30I guess.
45:30He said it was you.
45:32That's why he called me
45:33and not the police.
45:37Oh, wait,
45:38does he mean,
45:40does he mean Cyrus's
45:41BB gun?
45:42Is that what he's
45:43talking about?
45:44A BB gun?
45:45It's like this
45:46old thing Cyrus has.
45:47It's like a toy.
45:49You know,
45:49it's not real.
45:50Oh.
45:51That's what he saw.
45:52Okay.
45:54Hmm.
45:55Still,
45:55you know how I feel
45:56about guns of any kind.
45:58Yeah, no, I do,
45:58I do.
45:59And I even,
46:00I told Cyrus that,
46:01which is why we went
46:01to Mr. Barber's field,
46:02just to be extra careful.
46:04And did Cyrus give you
46:05that music?
46:06And that shirt?
46:09We made the shirts
46:11ourselves, you know.
46:13They're quite bold.
46:15I hope you save them
46:16for the appropriate audience
46:17and not school.
46:21Yeah.
46:22Mm-hmm.
46:25Okay.
46:28Wow.
46:34Don't stay up too late.
46:36I won't.
46:38Good night.
46:39Love you.
46:39Good night.
46:41Good night.
46:41Good night.
47:03I'm cutie.
47:05Um,
47:07my name is
47:08Zach.
47:10Well,
47:11hi.
47:12Zach.
47:14If I can't see you,
47:16how will I know
47:17how big and hot you are?
47:21Um,
47:22well,
47:22I could describe myself.
47:24Yeah,
47:25I'm 6'3".
47:27I'm jacked
47:27because I
47:28work out a lot.
47:30Sounds like a hot bod.
47:33Do you like this?
47:37Yeah,
47:37I do like that.
47:42Yeah,
47:43that's good.
47:43Oh,
47:44yeah.
47:46Oh.
47:48Oh.
47:54Oh,
47:54God.
47:56Fuck!
47:58God,
47:59damn it.
48:02What's wrong?
48:03You,
48:03you,
48:03you don't like?
48:04No,
48:05I,
48:05I mean,
48:06yes,
48:06I do,
48:06I,
48:08no,
48:09I do like it.
48:09It's not you.
48:10It's,
48:10it's me.
48:11I just,
48:13I don't work.
48:17And I'm not,
48:18I'm not 6'3".
48:20I'm not jacked.
48:21I'm,
48:22I'm really skinny
48:23and funny looking
48:25and my dick's broken.
48:28Okay,
48:29um,
48:30honey,
48:31how old are you?
48:3425?
48:35Uh-huh.
48:37Look,
48:38it's 18 or older.
48:40Sorry,
48:41kiddo.
48:51I'm sorry,
48:52I didn't get your text message.
48:53The procedure is
48:54if you see the car,
48:55you go through the window.
48:56Your whole family
48:57has the same car.
48:58I thought it was you.
48:59Mine is smaller.
49:00Okay,
49:00anyways,
49:01look,
49:01I made an excuse
49:02to go to your room
49:03and use your bathroom
49:03so that Tony could leave
49:05and Justin's been sleep
49:06ever since.
49:07Well,
49:09at least he didn't
49:10get discovered.
49:11Yeah,
49:12um,
49:13how about that?
49:22When were you gonna tell me
49:23someone saw you?
49:24When were you gonna tell me
49:26about Jess?
49:28I talked to Tony.
49:30She doesn't want me here,
49:31does she?
49:32It's complicated.
49:33You lied to me.
49:34No,
49:34it's the truth.
49:35Jessica just
49:37doesn't realize it yet.
49:39She'll change her mind.
49:40You just
49:40have to get sober
49:41and she'll see.
49:42Fuck that.
49:45I'm wasting my time.
49:48She kept her postcard.
49:53It's how we found you.
49:56She kept it,
49:57Justin.
49:58Nancy,
49:58I'll always love you.
49:59Sid.
50:01Why would she keep that?
50:07I really did love her.
50:13So stay.
50:22Do you want to know
50:23why Hannah wrote these poems?
50:26She was reaching out.
50:28She was desperate
50:29to be heard,
50:29to connect.
50:33And people took
50:35that lifeline
50:35and they twisted it.
50:38Hey, kiddo.
50:41You okay?
50:42Yeah.
50:45I was...
50:48I was thinking
50:49maybe I'd try
50:49to sleep in here tonight.
50:51Really?
50:55It's wonderful.
50:57Yeah, well,
50:58it's fine.
51:01you want me
51:02to tuck you in
51:03or is that silly?
51:07Silly?
51:11They took her own story
51:12away from her.
51:17And she fought
51:18to get it back.
51:25Who are you?
51:27Kevin Porter,
51:28your guidance counselor
51:29at Liberty High.
51:31I'm looking for your son.
51:33Look, what can I tell you?
51:34He ran away.
51:35You don't want to know
51:36how he's doing
51:36or is he alive?
51:38He can take care of himself.
51:40Okay?
51:40Always has.
51:41Ma'am,
51:41he's 17 years old.
51:44Who the fuck are you?
51:49I'm Justin's guidance counselor,
51:51Kevin Porter.
51:52And you are?
51:52I'm the one
51:53that punk stole
51:54a thousand dollars from.
51:56So you're gonna
51:57get me my money back
51:57or what?
51:58Well,
51:59I'm not really here
52:00for that.
52:00Then I suggest
52:01you get the fuck
52:02off my property.
52:04Listen,
52:05Justin,
52:05he needs a home.
52:07Well,
52:08he had a home
52:09and he fucked it up.
52:10Case closed.
52:11Goodbye.
52:11Okay,
52:12I wish you would
52:12back off.
52:15What?
52:15Don't do that.
52:17Are you gonna
52:18give me detention,
52:18punk?
52:23Come on!
52:31But in the end,
52:32the story they told
52:34was so loud
52:34that it's all
52:35that she could hear.
52:37And she started
52:38to believe it
52:38and forgot
52:39who she was.
52:45Fuck.
52:48It's easy
52:48to let that happen.
52:50To lose yourself.
52:54To believe
52:55that no one
52:55could ever know you
52:57or love you.
53:08And that you're
53:09the only person
53:10that knows
53:11what you're going through.
53:18and you convince
53:19yourself
53:20it's going
53:20to get better
53:23and then it doesn't.
53:44For help finding
53:45crisis resources,
53:46visit
53:4713reasonswhy.info
53:49business activities
53:50.
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