- 14 hours ago
First broadcast 4th November 2011.
Stephen Fry
Alan Davies
Jo Brand
Andy Hamilton
Ben Goldacre
Stephen Fry
Alan Davies
Jo Brand
Andy Hamilton
Ben Goldacre
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00Good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening, and welcome to QI in my breeziest and
00:07most patronising bedside manner for a show that's all about illness, infection, and injury.
00:12Joining me in casualty are the slightly indisposed Andy Hamilton.
00:22The disturbingly insidious Ben Goldacre.
00:30The seriously infectious Joe Brand.
00:35And the terminally ill-informed Alan Davis.
00:44And to tell you the truth, their buzzers don't sound so hot either. Andy goes.
00:51Ben goes.
00:54Joe goes.
00:59And Alan goes.
01:08And don't forget, of course, that you have your Nobody Knows Jokers.
01:14Nobody Knows.
01:16Yes, in this series there may well be a question to which the real answer is Nobody Knows.
01:20And if you can guess which question that is, you've got extra points for playing your Nobody Knows Jokers.
01:24Now, before we start, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you all to fill in this questionnaire that
01:29I've got for you.
01:30It's on the Epworth sleepiness scale.
01:33It's about, really, how likely you are to fall asleep under certain circumstances, and therefore whether or not you have
01:39a healthy sleep cycle.
01:41You're all concentrating very hard on it.
01:47I'm glad you take that out, too.
01:49I've fallen asleep.
01:50Filling in questionnaires.
01:51Yes.
01:52That's the one that makes you fall asleep.
01:54Finished.
01:56Really?
01:56Well done.
01:57We won't go through them until the end, though.
01:59I'm very impressed.
02:00I've always filled in questionnaires, but I was, it's a problem I've always had, I think, if you finish first,
02:04that you get marks, somehow.
02:06Oh, I didn't know who they are.
02:07You'd better pick your name on them, hadn't you?
02:09Oh, who hasn't put their name on their work?
02:10Yeah, I see.
02:12I feel more than usually like a schoolmaster.
02:14Joe Brand.
02:15It was, hey.
02:17I think, I feel that men fall asleep more, somehow.
02:21Do you fall asleep in cat nap during the day, afternoon, for the television?
02:24Only during sex.
02:25Oh, sorry.
02:28That when you're watching sex or doing sex?
02:32Either.
02:35It is one of the afflictions of getting old, I fear.
02:38Falling asleep.
02:39So, while you're sleeping, we'll be playing QI.
02:42And the first question is, why would you swallow a pill made of a poisonous metalloid?
02:50Ears.
02:51Would it be, because you got really pissed one night, and then you woke up the next morning and realised
02:57you were next to Michael Winner in bed?
03:03Well, oddly enough, until you got to that last point, one of the uses of that poisonous metalloid was as
03:09a morning-after pill.
03:11But its other use was for the other end of the body.
03:14It's a metalloid called antimony, and it's a poison.
03:18But it was popular in the Middle Ages as a pill, because it's very good for constipation.
03:22The weird thing about it is, you'd make a pill of antimony, because it's metalloid, it would pass through the
03:27body.
03:28You would then rummage through your leavings, and wash it, and use it again.
03:36Rummage through your leavings?
03:37It wasn't quite sure I had to put it.
03:41I'm certainly going to use that again, though.
03:44I like that one a lot.
03:46And these things would get handed on from father to son through generations.
03:50But they'd use the same one.
03:52Because it was rare.
03:53Father's leavings and his father's leavings.
03:55This was always good enough for your great-grandfather.
03:58So that's the earliest example of a repeat prescription.
04:01Yes.
04:01Oh, very good.
04:03It means hundreds of years.
04:08But the other use of it was an antimony cup, where you would pour wine into it overnight, when you'd
04:13had a large evening.
04:14And then in the morning, you'd take the wine that had been soaked in this antimony cup, as it were,
04:19and it would make you vomit instantly.
04:21So it was used as a nematic.
04:22So it was just really...
04:23So what is it?
04:24It's a naturally occurring...
04:25Yes, it's an element.
04:26And it's an irritant, presumably?
04:28There's a mnemonic for remembering laxatives, which is there are bulkers, lubricants, irritants,
04:34softeners, and explosives.
04:38Explosives work like cholera.
04:42You've got to stick them up your bum.
04:44Right.
04:44It's a technical term.
04:45Or suppository, as we comedians say.
04:48Yes.
04:49So that's for a really serious case of being stuffed up.
04:53Yeah, proper phosphate enema.
04:55Rocket fuel.
04:56Wow.
04:57On a skateboard.
04:59In ancient Egypt, there was a doctor whose specialised function was to administer enemas to the ferry.
05:05It was known as the Nero Pthuit, which literally translates as shepherd of the anus.
05:11It was an official job.
05:12Rather pleasing.
05:13With the crook, you mean?
05:15Oh!
05:17It's obviously not a natural thing.
05:19Animals don't pump warm water up their arses, do they?
05:22It doesn't seem to happen in nature in any way that we know of.
05:25How did it come about?
05:27Well, they are very popular with quacks.
05:29I think there's something quite attractive about how transgressive it is to squirt a lot of something up your bum
05:34that makes pretend doctors feel like real doctors.
05:37But there was a guy, well, John Harvey Kellogg, the man behind the...
05:40Oh, yes, the road to Wellville.
05:42Yeah, yeah.
05:42So he had this big kind of quack clinic that he ran where the moment that you arrived,
05:49you had to make a visit to a man called the Rear Admiral,
05:52who would bend you over and fill you with fresh yoghurt.
05:56And then you would poo that out, and then you'd be ready to crack on with your detox.
06:01And they would deal with your thrush at the same time.
06:03What time's this show going out?
06:06Well, I mean, this is almost the most kind of...
06:12basic fact about us all is that we poo.
06:15And also that we are, as we age, supposedly, we get more obsessed by it.
06:19I mean, it's sort of all you've got left, really, isn't it?
06:23You know, and there are stories of nurses who get sent stools by grateful patients.
06:27You must have heard those stories, eh?
06:29They're not necessarily grateful.
06:33I think it's just...
06:34It's an explosion of love.
06:36No idea why, but that habit has followed me through into my comedy career.
06:43There was a chap recently who tried to kill somebody by, um...
06:46He packed his anus with, uh, explosives.
06:50And it was a Middle East prince.
06:51I can't remember which one.
06:52But he showed up and went...
06:54And his plan was, you know, shake the guy by the hand and then trigger it.
06:57But unfortunately, the body is very good at absorbing explosions.
07:00That's why, you know, heroic acts where people jump onto hand grenades and stuff.
07:03So all that happened was he shook his prince by the hand and the bomb went off
07:08and he just sort of bounced up in the air slightly and then jumped onto his knees.
07:12And the prince, like any sort of royal, just went, very good.
07:21Oh, dear, oh, dear.
07:22Well, that's antimony.
07:23As I say, antimony pills were quite literally passed down through the family.
07:28Now, placebos.
07:29Placebos are often administered in the shape of sugar pills.
07:34My question is, how do they work?
07:36Oh, oh, oh.
07:39Very good.
07:40Nobody knows.
07:41Now, you might want to, uh, question this thing.
07:47Um, I...
07:49Well, they do work.
07:50They do work.
07:50But nobody quite knows why.
07:52What's extraordinary is not only do they work,
07:54they work even when you tell someone it's a placebo.
07:59I mean, you obviously have studied the placebo effect more than most.
08:01Mm-hmm.
08:02It's amazing.
08:03And I think the magic ingredient of the sugar pills is, uh,
08:06it's belief and expectation.
08:08So, for example, we know that four sugar pills a day
08:11are a more effective treatment than two sugar pills a day.
08:14Yes.
08:14And, uh, and we also, we know that, uh,
08:16a saltwater injection is a more effective treatment
08:18than taking a sugar pill.
08:20Not because a saltwater injection or a sugar pill
08:22does anything kind of physically to your body,
08:24but just because an injection feels like a much more dramatic...
08:27Is it something to do with, you just feel you're being taken care of?
08:31There is some, some part of your body yields
08:33to the authority of an injection even more than to a pill.
08:38Yeah.
08:39And, you know, everything, pacemakers start working
08:41before they've been switched on.
08:43Yes.
08:44Yes, I've heard this.
08:45Or knee surgery as well.
08:46They've cut people's knees open and then sewn them up.
08:49And they've said they feel better.
08:51Even though they've not actually done anything.
08:53And that's kind of why it's important to do proper trials,
08:55because otherwise you'd be running around thinking
08:58that it was worth cutting people open
08:59and messing around with their heart.
09:01And actually it wasn't, it was just...
09:03The very, the intervention, the almost priest-like nature of the doctor,
09:07the faith that is reposed in them,
09:08and obviously that goes some way, I suppose,
09:10to explaining homeopathy,
09:11because a homeopathic pill is as inert as a sugar pill.
09:14I know there's someone who was told by a health visitor
09:16to take Arnica for a caesarean scar.
09:21So, and went and spoke to an obstetrician and said,
09:23now, is there any truth in that?
09:25Well, the thing is with homeopathic medicine
09:27is there haven't really been proper clinical trials.
09:31But Arnica is one that has been tested
09:34and it has been found to have absolutely no effect whatsoever.
09:39Homeopathy is a really good sort of teaching tool
09:41for evidence-based medicine,
09:43because the homeopaths' trials in general
09:46are so crudely rigged
09:48that they make extremely good sort of teaching examples.
09:51So they're not double-blind, randomised trials
09:53in the approved manner?
09:55Either each individual trial has been done poorly
09:57or what you get more commonly is cherry-picking.
10:00So if you run 100 trials of something,
10:03then it's inevitable that maybe five of them
10:06will throw up positive results.
10:08And if you only cite the positive trials,
10:10then you can make it look as if your treatment works.
10:13And actually, I mean, the pharmaceutical industry
10:14are even bigger buggers for that, really,
10:16than the quacks,
10:17because it sort of matters more.
10:20And there are still no laws to stop people
10:22from hiding trial data,
10:23not meaningful laws.
10:24This is the problem with people like me
10:26who are lazy,
10:26and I dare say you without being overdoing it.
10:28No, I mean,
10:29when we read in a newspaper,
10:32studies show...
10:33He's writing a novel under the death.
10:34No.
10:36I mean lazy in this sense.
10:37If I read studies show in some newspaper,
10:40you know,
10:40I kind of go,
10:41gosh, that's study shows.
10:42But it takes someone like Ben
10:43who'll go,
10:44what's the study?
10:45Who conducted it?
10:46How many people were used?
10:47You know,
10:48they never told that.
10:49That's basically the problem, isn't it?
10:50But I mean,
10:51to be fair,
10:51I think this show is probably
10:53more guilty of that than anyone else.
10:54No, no, no, no, no.
10:56But it's a very easy thing to fix,
10:58because what I...
10:58So I think every...
10:59every news story or feature
11:01or TV show or anything
11:02that makes a reference
11:04to a piece of primary research
11:06should give a link
11:08to that piece of research
11:09so that people can go and see
11:10what the evidence was.
11:12Yes, indeed.
11:14Anyway,
11:14the placebo effect
11:15is undoubtedly incredibly powerful.
11:17On the other hand,
11:18there are drugs that are powerful too.
11:19if you inject someone with cyanide
11:21and say it's actually a sugar pill,
11:22they will die.
11:23Yeah.
11:24But as Andy rightly said,
11:26nobody really knows
11:27quite how the placebos work,
11:29but work they jolly well do.
11:31What kind of condition
11:32that astronauts suffer from
11:33is measured by the Garn scale?
11:37That's G-A-R-N.
11:38Garn is what Steptoe used to say a lot.
11:40Yes, indeed.
11:41Garn.
11:42A lot of do little,
11:43says Garn as well, doesn't she?
11:45Yeah.
11:45It's named after Senator Garn,
11:47who was a senator,
11:48who became an astronaut,
11:50and he suffered very particular
11:51from what most astronauts suffer from.
11:53Depression?
11:54No.
11:55Seasickness,
11:56or at least travel sickness.
11:57It's really, really bad up there,
11:59apparently.
12:00There's a lot of vomiting,
12:02which is not nice in weightlessness.
12:04In weightlessness.
12:05So you take the pill.
12:06Drifting around the cabin.
12:07Exactly.
12:08In fact...
12:11They can't do that.
12:12Well, they've got a helmet on.
12:14You have to be...
12:16Yeah.
12:1847% of all the medication
12:20used by the shuttle astronauts
12:22were seasickness tablets.
12:23The sickest was Jake Garn in 85,
12:25and so after him,
12:26they used the Garn scale.
12:27A score of one Garn
12:28means you are completely
12:30incapacitated by sickness up there.
12:32It's the right word,
12:33because it sounds like
12:33someone chucking up a bit,
12:35doesn't it?
12:35It doesn't.
12:36Do you know what causes
12:37seasickness, for example?
12:38Is it going up and down on the sea?
12:42Yes, that's the condition
12:44in which it happens.
12:45You mean physically causes it?
12:46Yeah, why does it make one sense?
12:48Sometimes I've had
12:48unwell on a ship
12:49just from the throbbing
12:50of the engines,
12:51not even the boats
12:52not even moving about much.
12:54Yes.
12:54Some sensation
12:55that's making...
12:56It's constant movement
12:56that starts to make things come up.
12:59That sight of that would be...
12:59It's a disconnect
13:01between the visual information
13:02and the sort of
13:03balance information, isn't it?
13:04Yes, that's right.
13:05I'm at half a Garn
13:06at the moment.
13:07Oh, just looking at that.
13:10It's a horizon.
13:12Why don't birds get it
13:13when they're bobbing about
13:14on the surface?
13:15Why, they never seem
13:15to be throwing up.
13:16How do you know they don't?
13:17Well, yeah, that's true.
13:18Or, of course,
13:18maybe they just sort of
13:19evolved not to.
13:20But the bad things to do
13:22are going below deck
13:22for extended time periods.
13:24Reading a book,
13:24looking at a compass,
13:25doing detailed work
13:26or staring at one point.
13:28It's helpful to stay
13:29in the fresh air,
13:29drink plenty of water,
13:31avoid fatty and spicy food.
13:33They say that for everything.
13:35Everything.
13:36You can't move
13:38for advice now.
13:39You turn on Five Live
13:40and someone's always
13:41telling you,
13:42well, they've got an expert
13:42in because it's sunny today.
13:44What do you think
13:45we should do?
13:45Well, you want to watch out
13:47because you can get
13:47some burns.
13:48You may be a fried cream
13:49or wear a hat.
13:51You could be seriously
13:52saying this on the radio.
13:53What are you doing?
13:54Or do avoid fatty
13:55and spicy foods.
13:57Don't jump out
13:58of the window
13:59if you're on the tent floor.
14:00That must be from
14:01the film of
14:01The Perfect Storm.
14:02That looks like a film.
14:03I can't believe it.
14:04That would be
14:04an exceptionally good photograph
14:05from another boat.
14:09That's such a good point.
14:13How did you hold
14:14that so still?
14:17Anyway,
14:17that's the Garn scale.
14:18Almost half of all astronauts
14:20suffer from space sickness,
14:21it seems.
14:21What is intelligent falling?
14:25Jo Brand?
14:27Is it when you see
14:28Michael Winner
14:29coming towards you?
14:31You deliberately trip
14:32so that you can squash him.
14:37That would be intelligent falling.
14:41It's a very good advantage.
14:43You really got it
14:44into the winster,
14:45haven't you?
14:45I have.
14:46Yeah.
14:47Is it because he's not
14:47returning your calls,
14:49Jo?
14:49Is that really?
14:50Let go of that.
14:51Take me out to dinner.
14:54Is intelligent falling
14:56what Ronaldo does
14:57in the penalty?
14:59No, it's a kind of
15:00way of trying to demonstrate
15:02what scientists mean by theory
15:04because, as you probably know,
15:05they have in America
15:06this idea that
15:07it's equivalent
15:08to teach
15:09intelligent design
15:11design as it is to teach
15:12the theory of evolution
15:13because they say,
15:15well, the theory of evolution
15:16is only a theory,
15:18so why can't we suggest
15:20our theory,
15:21which is a misunderstanding
15:22of what a scientist
15:23means by theory.
15:24You've lost me.
15:25Yeah, well, you've heard
15:26of the theory of evolution?
15:28Yes.
15:28And you've heard
15:29of intelligent design?
15:30No.
15:30Ah.
15:31Well, in America,
15:32religious people
15:33who decide that evolution
15:34is contrary to what the Bible
15:36says about the creation,
15:38they want children to believe
15:40that all creation
15:41was made by
15:42an intelligent being,
15:44i.e. God.
15:44The universe is designed
15:45by some something.
15:46Yeah, and their name for it
15:47rather than saying
15:48just believe the Bible
15:48is intelligent design.
15:50They say,
15:51it's the theory of evolution,
15:52so why can't we have
15:53a theory of intelligent design?
15:54And they can both be taught
15:56in the same way.
15:57And all I'm getting at
15:58is that actually theory
15:59has a rather specific meaning
16:00in science.
16:01It's not the same as guess.
16:03It's not even the same
16:03as hypothesis.
16:05This is what the OED
16:06calls a theory.
16:07A statement of what are held
16:08to be general laws,
16:10principles, or causes
16:11of something known
16:12or observed.
16:14I.e. that's not a guess.
16:15The theory of evolution
16:16is, as far as any biologist
16:18or zoologist would say,
16:19is true.
16:20I mean, it is supported
16:21by facts.
16:23So what was intelligent falling?
16:24It was, uh...
16:25Intelligent falling is saying,
16:26well, Newton had a theory
16:28of gravity,
16:29but it was overturned
16:30by Einstein's theory of gravity,
16:31so why can't we suggest
16:33our theory,
16:34which is intelligent falling?
16:36Isn't the point partly
16:37that different theories
16:38are supported by
16:39different amounts of evidence?
16:40So, for example,
16:41David Icke has a theory
16:42that the royal family
16:44are all seven-foot green lizards
16:46in six-foot human skin suits.
16:48Yes.
16:49And he doesn't have
16:49a lot of evidence
16:50for that theory.
16:52Whereas the sort of evolution
16:54is supported
16:54by a lot of evidence,
16:55and if you want
16:56to question a theory,
16:58then you should do so
16:59by challenging
17:00its evidence
17:01rather than by...
17:03Exactly.
17:03...by...
17:03The intelligent design
17:05believers,
17:06what do they think
17:07they put in their cars?
17:08It is a problem.
17:09I mean, it's a hard position
17:11to be a fundamentalist.
17:12On the one hand,
17:13you have to forgive people,
17:14on the other hand,
17:14you have to take their eye out.
17:15It's a bit difficult
17:17to know which one
17:18you're supposed to do
17:19at any one moment.
17:20Well, if Michael
17:21Winner's around.
17:21Yes.
17:24I've got this fantasy
17:27of Michael Winner
17:28sitting down saying,
17:29oh, it's Friday,
17:30what shall I do?
17:31I know,
17:32I'll watch QI.
17:33Joe Brand's on,
17:34she's my favourite.
17:37And the disappointment
17:38when he sees you being...
17:40So he won't be disappointed?
17:42No, no, perhaps he won't.
17:43Perhaps he won't.
17:44So there we are, yes.
17:45The fact is,
17:46evolution and gravity
17:46may be theories,
17:48but they work perfectly
17:49well in practice.
17:50Describe the symptoms
17:51of either drapetomania
17:53or diastasia aethiopica.
17:56Who the hell is that?
18:01I don't know,
18:01but that's what the girl's
18:02thinking as well.
18:04They're all thinking
18:05I would, aren't they?
18:06I mean,
18:09it's nothing to do,
18:10I have to say,
18:10with Gregory House.
18:11We're in the 1850s.
18:13Just before the Civil War,
18:14which is a clue,
18:16drapetomania
18:17was a diagnosis
18:18of a quite inexplicable
18:21outbreak
18:21of a sort of
18:22mental failing
18:23that happened
18:24amongst the slave population.
18:25Oh, were they singing?
18:26No.
18:26Were they singing
18:27cheerful songs?
18:28Even more inexplicable,
18:29this was a doctor
18:29called Samuel Cartwright
18:31who coined the phrase
18:32drapetomania
18:32to explain the mental disorder
18:34displayed by slaves
18:35who wanted to run away.
18:38Right.
18:40Surely.
18:40What?
18:41I know.
18:42He said it was
18:43as much a disease
18:44of the mind
18:44as any other species
18:46of mental alienation
18:47and much more curable.
18:48He thought it was
18:49caused by slaves
18:50being given
18:50too much authority
18:51and freedom.
18:52Do you know what?
18:53I think my husband's
18:54got drapetomania.
18:57He's always having
18:58a crack at running away.
19:01Shackles.
19:03Shackles is the answer.
19:04Shackles is the answer.
19:04That's right.
19:05He's got a massive
19:05bungee rope.
19:07Yeah.
19:08He claimed that slaves
19:09should have the desire
19:10to run away
19:10beaten out of them.
19:11Oh, I mean,
19:12that's always the answer
19:13with the slaves.
19:15Was that both,
19:16what was the first one?
19:17Trapetomania.
19:18And the second one was what?
19:19The second one I'll tell you about,
19:21this is
19:22Diasthesia Ethiopica.
19:23It's characterized
19:23by an aversion
19:24to doing slave labor.
19:26Again,
19:27what a peculiar thing.
19:29Other symptoms include
19:30rascality
19:31and not taking care
19:33of property.
19:34His description
19:34was to put the patient
19:35to some kind of hard work
19:36in the open air
19:37and sunshine.
19:38You do get quite a lot
19:39of these weird diagnoses
19:41though, even now.
19:42In Russia and in China,
19:43they had political mania,
19:44which was convincing
19:46your colleagues and friends
19:47of the need
19:47for political change.
19:49And in China,
19:50political mania
19:51has got symptoms
19:52like carrying banners,
19:54shouting slogans,
19:56and expressing views
19:58on important domestic
19:59and international
19:59political matters.
20:00Yes, you're right.
20:02The Russians famously
20:04through the 60s
20:05and 70s
20:05had the psychology
20:07sort of turned backwards
20:08and paranoia
20:08was defined
20:09as a yearning
20:10for justice.
20:11Truth and justice
20:12are commonly found
20:14in the personality
20:16of the paranoid delusional.
20:18I think it's what...
20:18Is that the phrase
20:19they used?
20:20Well, there is a book
20:21which is well known
20:23to anybody
20:23who studies mental health
20:24which is called
20:24The DSM,
20:25The Diagnostic
20:26and Statistical Manual
20:27which goes through
20:28various editions.
20:29A lot of it is cock.
20:31Indeed.
20:31A lot of it is cock.
20:33But unfortunately
20:33it's a very important cock
20:35because, for example,
20:36so if you're suing
20:37your employer
20:38because you claim
20:39you have a medical condition
20:40and whatever,
20:40it is the DSM
20:41which defines
20:42whatever supposed
20:43mental disorder you have
20:44and they go through
20:45current editions.
20:46We're at four at the moment,
20:47don't we?
20:47They're going to be...
20:48It's coming up for five.
20:49Coming up for five in 2013
20:50and people submit to it
20:52their idea of a condition
20:54and some of them
20:55are accepted
20:56and some of them aren't.
20:57We have up some for you
20:58which are under consideration
21:00or might have been suggested.
21:02And I wanted to see
21:03if you can tell
21:04what they are.
21:05Sluggish cognitive
21:06temper disorder.
21:07Can't dance.
21:10Guilty feet
21:11have got no rhythm.
21:12Yeah.
21:13Without being a student.
21:16Being a student, basically.
21:17I mean,
21:18your Daily Mail journalist
21:19would naturally write off
21:20as they do
21:21almost any mental condition
21:22as a shabby excuse
21:24for a character flaw
21:25but in this case
21:26when you read
21:27the descriptions
21:27of the symptoms
21:28of sluggish cognitive
21:29temper disorder
21:30the basic word
21:31you come up with
21:32is laziness.
21:33It is basically
21:35laziness.
21:36Relational disorder.
21:38Unpleasantness.
21:39Yeah.
21:40An inability to get on.
21:41Ryan Giggs.
21:42Sorry?
21:45Well, Ryan Giggs has got that.
21:47Yeah, Ryan Giggs is
21:48not getting on with Giggs.
21:49He gets on with some people
21:50but they're easily married
21:52to other people.
21:53Yes.
21:54So, anyway.
21:56Negativistic personality disorder.
21:58Not being very nice.
22:00Well, it's being negativistic
22:01about something.
22:02Whining.
22:03Jeremy Paxman.
22:04What?
22:06Whining and complaining.
22:08Intermittent explosive disorder.
22:10That's flat.
22:13Well, it would.
22:14But this is the DSM.
22:16Basically, adult tantrums.
22:17People who lose their temper
22:18very, very good.
22:19And now,
22:20the point is,
22:21you know,
22:21one can laugh at these
22:22but there are some things
22:23that are obviously real
22:23that produce terrible conditions,
22:25mental conditions
22:26and that is well known.
22:28And then,
22:29somewhere along the line
22:30there are things to do
22:31with concentration disorders
22:33and compulsion disorders
22:35which seem so limited
22:37that you think,
22:38is that worth putting in a book?
22:39And do you need special treatment for that?
22:41Where do you draw the line,
22:43I suppose, I'm asking?
22:43Doctor, doctor, doctor,
22:44do tell us.
22:45Partly it's because
22:46some people want to be pathologised
22:47and have a label.
22:49Yes.
22:50And sometimes it's about
22:51flogging a treatment.
22:52I mean,
22:53female sexual dysfunction,
22:55for example,
22:56started being pushed
22:58at the time
22:59that various companies
23:00were trying to get licences
23:01for things like Viagra
23:02for the 50% of the population
23:04who are unlucky enough
23:05not to have a penis.
23:06And,
23:08along with that...
23:11So it's got loads of penises
23:13but they're all in a drawer.
23:17But FSD was about medicalising it
23:20and saying
23:21that, you know,
23:23desire is a matter
23:24of clitoral blood flow imaging
23:26and nitric oxide molecules
23:29in your body
23:29rather than...
23:30I think that might have been
23:30the most disgusting thing
23:31I've ever heard.
23:34Clitoral blood flow imaging
23:37dot com
23:38dot com
23:40Now that is a dirty book.
23:43Yes.
23:45Well,
23:45no, that's true.
23:46I'm pretty sure
23:47that if I had been born later
23:49I would have been diagnosed
23:50with having attention deficit disorder
23:52and been given...
23:53What is it?
23:53Ritalins?
23:54One of those drugs.
23:56As it was,
23:56I was called a tosser
23:57and expelled from lots of schools.
24:00Now part of me thinks
24:01I was a tosser.
24:02I couldn't concentrate.
24:03I was extremely aggravating
24:04to all those around me
24:05and I was expelled from schools
24:06and I was a damn nuisance.
24:07But it's probably true
24:09that I did have something
24:11in my brain
24:12was different to others.
24:13And some people
24:14will always want to see that
24:15as a moral character thing
24:16which is under your control
24:17and they will do it rigidly
24:19and refuse to accept
24:20that there's a medical condition for it.
24:22it's not only moral
24:23as it's social and cultural as well.
24:25Yeah.
24:26You know,
24:26because 50 years ago
24:27people who were gay
24:29were being given electric shocks
24:31or whatever they were
24:32to cure them
24:33of that illness.
24:35So as history moves on
24:36you medicalise
24:37different sorts of behaviour,
24:39don't you?
24:40Well, there you are.
24:41That's it.
24:42Some psychologists
24:43seem to have disorder naming
24:45compulsion disorder.
24:47which is not exactly fatal
24:48but who was the last
24:49British monarch
24:49to be deliberately killed?
24:52Was it one of the ones
24:52that got beheaded?
24:55No.
24:57You've managed to avoid
24:58saying Charles I
24:59who most people would think.
25:00Yeah, only because
25:00I couldn't bloody remember.
25:04It happened in Norfolk.
25:06So where would that likely be
25:08if it was a monarch?
25:09Sandringham.
25:09Sandringham.
25:10Oh, it's the Queen's dad.
25:11No, not the Queen's dad,
25:12the Queen's grandfather.
25:13This is King George V
25:15who was the grandfather
25:16of our current monarch.
25:17There he is.
25:18Looking spookily like
25:19his cousin Nicholas
25:20Zara Alexander
25:21and it's a tested story
25:23by the man who actually did it.
25:24It's quite extraordinary
25:25that it isn't better known really.
25:26In 1936 he was at Sandringham
25:28feeling unwell.
25:30On the 15th of January
25:30he retired to his bedroom.
25:32By the 20th
25:33he was comatose
25:34and clearly dying
25:35but still clinging to life.
25:37And this presented his doctor,
25:38a man called Lord Dawson,
25:40a bit of a problem.
25:41In Dawson's opinion
25:42the world at large
25:43would be better served
25:44by hearing of the King's death
25:46in the morning papers
25:48rather than by him
25:50lingering on a little bit longer
25:51and it being in what
25:52he sniffly referred to
25:53as the evening journals.
25:55So he decided to force the issue.
25:58He wrote a very famous bulletin
25:59on the back of a menu card
26:01which was telephoned to the BBC.
26:03The life of the King
26:04is moving peacefully to its close.
26:07He then went up to the bedroom
26:08and this according to his own diary
26:10is what he did.
26:12I therefore decided
26:13to determine the end
26:15and injected
26:16morphia
26:17three quarters of a grain
26:19and shortly afterwards
26:21cocaine
26:21one grain
26:22Lucky old king.
26:24Into the distended jugular vein.
26:27I did it myself
26:28because it was obvious
26:29that Sister B
26:30the King's nurse
26:31was disturbed by the procedure.
26:34So I injected Sister B as well.
26:38But essentially
26:39isn't that what a speedball is
26:40isn't it?
26:41He's basically gone
26:41the same way as John Belushi.
26:44He gave him a speedball
26:46of morphia and cocaine.
26:48And he told the family
26:49did he?
26:50Well he wrote it in his diary
26:51and this was revealed
26:52in 1986.
26:53Treason.
26:54Well
26:54it was quite extraordinary.
26:56And the weird thing is
26:57being a lord
26:58he was in the House of Lords
26:58and not long afterwards
27:00he voted against euthanasia
27:01in the euthanasia debate.
27:03But
27:03he said
27:04I'm not opposed to
27:05euthanasia per se
27:06having just killed the king
27:08not surprising
27:08I just felt
27:10it should be left
27:11to the discretion of doctors
27:13not anybody else.
27:14But there we are.
27:15Or a doctor.
27:16Or myself
27:17basically.
27:18Now for a bizarre illness
27:20what would you call
27:21a man who eats
27:22literally everything?
27:24Winner.
27:36Well everything
27:37like pens and
27:38yes
27:39basically
27:41polyphagism
27:41it's also known as
27:42pico
27:43an excessive appetite
27:44often for non-nutritious
27:45substances
27:46coal, clay, chalk
27:47nuts, bolts
27:49batteries, soil
27:49and so on
27:50it's a very exaggerated
27:51version of what can
27:52sometimes happen
27:53in pregnancy
27:53I don't know
27:54did you get any
27:54weird appetite
27:55things when you were
27:56pregnant?
27:56Yeah I ate a bit less.
28:00Some animals
28:00suffer from
28:01it in horses
28:01it's called
28:02depraved appetite
28:03but the most extreme
28:04example we can come
28:05across was a man
28:06called Tarare
28:07who was a Frenchman
28:07in the 8th 18th century
28:09and he lived
28:09a shortish life
28:10and he was abandoned
28:11by his family
28:12as a child
28:12because they just
28:13couldn't afford
28:13the food that he ate
28:14and after working
28:15as a street entertainer
28:16swallowing stones
28:17and live animals
28:18he became a soldier
28:20and they decided
28:21to test his appetite
28:22and he obliged
28:23and he ate a meal
28:24intended for 15 people
28:26in a single sitting
28:27he tore apart
28:28and ate
28:29without chewing
28:30live cats
28:32snakes
28:32lizards
28:33and puppies
28:34and so they thought
28:35maybe he'd be a useful spy
28:36so they gave him things
28:37to swallow
28:38to go behind
28:38there were at war
28:39with Prussia
28:39but he was caught
28:41first time
28:41he'd be a good spy
28:44he'd rather draw attention
28:46to himself
28:46eating anything
28:48but they thought
28:50you could just swallow
28:50some box
28:51with military secrets
28:52in it basically
28:52so when he was searched
28:54he would have nothing
28:54that was their theory
28:56anyway
28:56so he was then put on a diet
28:58in a military hospital
28:58and he would scavenge
29:00for offal
29:01in gutters
29:01he would escape
29:02from the hospital
29:03in rubbish heaps
29:03outside butcher shops
29:04he attempted
29:05for offal in gutters
29:07yes
29:07and outside butcher shops
29:09oh I see
29:09what just someone
29:10had gone over
29:11look at that liver
29:12yeah exactly
29:13and he attempted
29:14to drink the blood
29:15of other patients
29:16and eat the corpses
29:17in the hospital morgue
29:19aww
29:20you know who's like that
29:21don't you
29:26anyway
29:27he was eventually
29:28ejected from the hospital
29:29under suspicion
29:30of having eaten a toddler
29:33a toddler
29:35a little baby
29:35a child
29:36an infant
29:36yes
29:37which is
29:37against the law
29:38in France
29:40yeah
29:41they're picky
29:41the French
29:43they gave him
29:46an autopsy
29:47anyway
29:47he had a belly
29:48so loose
29:48he could wrap
29:49the loose folds
29:49of skin around
29:50his waist
29:50he sweated
29:51constantly
29:51and stank
29:52to such a degree
29:53that he could not
29:53be endured
29:54within a distance
29:54of 20 paces
29:55at table
29:56his eyes
29:57would become
29:57bloodshot
29:58and a visible
29:58vapour
29:59I'm becoming
29:59increasingly attractive
30:00a visible vapour
30:04would rise
30:04from his body
30:05when he ate
30:13and he seemed
30:14perfectly sane
30:15he didn't gain weight
30:17no
30:17on the eat everything diet
30:19he didn't
30:20you've got a whole cat
30:21and a dog inside
30:22they'll be probably
30:23eating everything else
30:23yeah that's true
30:24the little old lady
30:25who spotted the fly
30:26there was a diet pill
30:27like that
30:28where people would eat
30:29tapeworm egg
30:30and then wait until
30:31they got to their
30:32ideal weight
30:32and then they'd take
30:33the helminthicide
30:34that would kill the
30:35tapeworm
30:35and they'd poo out the worm
30:37and then get on
30:38nicely slim
30:40and his autopsy
30:42would be pleased to know
30:42also revealed
30:43an enlarged liver
30:44and gallbladder
30:45enormous stomach
30:46covered in ulcers
30:47and oozing pus
30:48so that's nice
30:50so time to hand
30:52your test results
30:53him
30:53and let's talk
30:54about your
30:55sleepiness here
30:56now we've got
30:57Ben here first
30:58I'll tell you
30:58what the questions are
30:59basically you fill in
31:00how likely you are
31:02to doze off
31:03in the following situations
31:04according to the
31:05following scale
31:06alright
31:06and the various situations
31:08are sitting and reading
31:09watching TV
31:10sitting inactive
31:12in a public place
31:12e.g. theatre
31:13or meeting
31:14travelling as a passenger
31:15in a car
31:16for an hour
31:17lying down to rest
31:18in the afternoon
31:19sitting and talking
31:20to someone
31:21sitting quietly
31:22after a lunch
31:22without alcohol
31:23in a car
31:24while stopped
31:25for a few minutes
31:26in traffic
31:26well Ben here
31:27scores 6
31:29and you'd be pleased
31:30to know there
31:30that 7 to 8
31:31is average
31:320 to 6
31:32indicates you get
31:33sufficient sleep
31:34I don't know
31:35that my taxes
31:36are going properly
31:37if a doctor
31:37gets sufficient sleep
31:38I pay you
31:39to be utterly
31:40overworked
31:41and underslept
31:42I thought this was
31:43a confidential
31:43medical
31:44oh sorry
31:44Darren
31:44yes
31:46that's very
31:47healthy results
31:48this is
31:49Joe Marlon Brando
31:53you've answered
31:54zero to everything
31:55yeah
31:55so you really do
31:56sleep enough
31:56you never fall asleep
31:57I never fall asleep
31:58anywhere
31:59no
31:59that's fantastic
32:01um Andy
32:02sitting and reading
32:03one
32:04watching TV
32:05three
32:05your total
32:06which you haven't
32:06bothered to do
32:07thank you so much
32:07three
32:08I got too tired
32:09nine ten
32:11your total is 14
32:12yes
32:13Alan has answered
32:14three to almost
32:15everything except
32:16sitting and talking
32:16to someone
32:17thank goodness
32:17um
32:18don't sleep
32:19Ben
32:19and you score
32:2119
32:21yeah
32:22wow
32:22I sit and read a book
32:23I will fall asleep
32:24immediately
32:25now
32:25well anyway
32:26so there you are
32:26you get sufficient sleep
32:27Ben
32:28the rest of you
32:29I'm sorry to say
32:30seven to eight is average
32:31well anything above nine
32:33indicates you should seek
32:35the advice of a sleep
32:36specialist without delay
32:39yes
32:39okay I'll get on to it
32:41straight away
32:42well there you are
32:43so now drop your trousers
32:45it's time for a dose of general ignorance
32:47fingers on beepers
32:48please
32:48why shouldn't you sleep
32:50with a dog
32:52yes
32:53he won't respect you
32:54in the morning
32:55will he
32:57it's against the law
32:58isn't it
32:58well I don't know
32:59I don't mean to sleep
33:00with it in the sexual sense
33:00I mean literally
33:01share a bed with
33:02I'm afraid it's
33:03really terribly unhealthy
33:04quite a lot of plague
33:07amazingly
33:07good old bubonic plague
33:09especially in the
33:10southern states of America
33:11not in this country
33:12sure
33:12not at the moment
33:13we seem to be okay
33:14in this country
33:15but
33:15because dogs are wearing
33:16those anti-plague hats
33:17yes
33:20when you say
33:21apropos of nothing
33:22what hideous pillowcases
33:25who there are
33:26aren't they
33:27except for the 70s
33:28that picture
33:29I bet they're
33:29that kind of brushed nylon
33:30where you can catch
33:31your fingernails on it
33:32I know
33:32record nylon
33:33actually
33:33the diseases you get
33:35off animals
33:35are often
33:37worse than the diseases
33:38you get off people
33:39because
33:40diseases that live
33:41in humans
33:41can't kill you off
33:44instantly
33:44and universally
33:45because otherwise
33:45the disease would die
33:47up
33:47they need you to carry on
33:48going to work
33:49and sneezing on the bus
33:50and scratching your ass
33:51and preparing food
33:52and all the other things
33:53that you do
33:53to transmit stuff
33:54but something that lives
33:56on a dog
33:56it doesn't care
33:57if it kills off
33:58a dead end host
33:59like a human
34:00because that's not
34:01what it's bred to
34:02to live
34:03it's not part of its normal
34:04life cycle
34:04anyway
34:05letting dogs and cats
34:07share your victim
34:07cause all manner of problems
34:09so now I'm having a panic attack
34:10what do you recommend?
34:14yes
34:14a paper bag
34:17ah
34:18yes
34:19good old
34:20paper bag
34:20no longer
34:21recommended
34:22no it isn't
34:24no
34:24nor indeed
34:25the other
34:25standby
34:26take a deep breath
34:27both of those
34:27are now considered
34:28rather bad
34:28pull yourself together
34:29pull yourself together
34:30is probably okay
34:31I think you can manage that
34:32doctor doctor
34:33I think I'm a pair of curtains
34:34slap her
34:35she's hysterical
34:35yes
34:36that's a fine one
34:37she had I think
34:38I think we could
34:39she had good reason
34:39I think she did
34:40because at that moment
34:41Jack was not behaving normally
34:43was he
34:43no
34:43he was being a little odd
34:45but no
34:46there's a new treatment
34:46called capnometry assisted
34:48respiratory training
34:49or CART
34:50encourages people
34:51to take shallow breaths
34:52rather than deep breaths
34:53you want to avoid
34:54blowing off too much
34:55carbon dioxide
34:55don't you
34:56yeah that's the thing
34:57it's because you're
34:59hyperventilating apparently
34:59you're getting rid of
35:00too much CO2
35:01and the idea was
35:02that if you do it in the bag
35:03then you're breathing
35:04back in the CO2
35:05but apparently this is now
35:06not considered a very good idea
35:08it's dangerous
35:08and should be retired
35:09is the apparent
35:10current medical opinion
35:12quite hard to find
35:12a paper bag
35:13so I'm going to try it
35:15on winner
35:15yeah
35:17and avoid
35:17if you can
35:18fatty and spicy foods
35:20um
35:20so
35:21now
35:22I'm feeling
35:23extremely angry
35:24what should I do
35:27calm down dear
35:32that's very good
35:34you felt right
35:37what's the best thing
35:38to do
35:38when you're angry
35:39have a cigarette
35:41no I'm not sure
35:42that would be medically
35:43recommended
35:44lie down in a darkened room
35:45think about something nice
35:46those are all good suggestions
35:49the suggestion
35:50I'm glad you didn't make
35:52is let it out
35:53there was this idea
35:55that if you got very angry
35:56you should punch a punch bag
35:57and shout and let it go
35:58and they've done some
36:00experiments again
36:01and it turned out
36:02that those who
36:03let out there
36:04became over time
36:05more aggressive
36:06and the hypothesis
36:08is that blowing off steam
36:09may reduce
36:10psychological stress
36:11in the short term
36:12but it acts as a kind
36:13of reward mechanism
36:15reinforcing aggressive
36:16behaviour
36:16because you feel good
36:17when you then
36:18let it out again
36:19so maybe it's better
36:20to bottle it up
36:21be British
36:22in other words
36:22stiff upper lip
36:24don't make a scene
36:25don't make a fuss
36:26don't make a bloody fuss
36:27and above all
36:29avoid fatty
36:30and spurs
36:33yes
36:33also
36:34according to the psychologist
36:35at the University of California
36:37Santa Barbara
36:37it's best to make decisions
36:39when you're angry
36:40which goes again
36:41rather against
36:42what you might think
36:43it seems that anger
36:44will actually
36:45and there again
36:46it's a hypothesis
36:47that anger is designed
36:49to motivate people
36:51to take action
36:52it actually helps people
36:53take the right action
36:53buying shoes
36:55buying shoes when you're angry
36:57making sure you're really livid
36:58when you go in the shop
36:59I want my shoes
37:01which pair would you like
37:02those
37:04I'm really pleased with these
37:06you are apparently
37:07letting your anger out
37:08just makes matters worse
37:09so if you want to wash
37:11the bacteria
37:12off your hands
37:12what temperature
37:13should the water be
37:15killing bacteria
37:16I would say
37:17it needs to be
37:1830, 40
37:19well the point is
37:21in order to kill the bacteria
37:22the water would have to be
37:23far too hot
37:23it would have to be
37:25about 80 degrees
37:26centigrade
37:26it's nothing to do
37:28with the temperature
37:28in fact
37:29it is to do with
37:29as you would know
37:30as a doctor
37:30it's actually the vigorousness
37:32of the scrubbing action
37:33actually for proper
37:35infection control
37:35we should all be
37:36naked below the elbow
37:38oh really
37:39short sleeves
37:39is the answer
37:40which you do see
37:41some doctors
37:42I've noticed that
37:43is that now the norm
37:44yeah I think so
37:46yeah that's interesting
37:47I like those taps
37:48they have
37:48you know the elbow
37:49oh yes
37:49that's it
37:50I guess they're those
37:51for home
37:51no
37:54but do above all
37:55avoid fatty and spicy
37:57how many portions
37:59of fruit and veg
38:00should you eat
38:01each day
38:01oh no
38:03in Japan
38:03they say nine
38:04that's the thing
38:06it's different
38:07all over the world
38:08it seems
38:09the five
38:09is being chosen
38:11in Britain
38:11basically because
38:12they think that's
38:12the most they can
38:14persuade the British
38:15to eat
38:15they are the most
38:17reluctant to eat
38:18anything
38:18anything green
38:20is repulsive
38:21to us
38:22Denmark says six
38:24France ten
38:25Canada it's between
38:26five and ten
38:27somebody just went
38:28oh
38:31Scotland it's one
38:32Scotland
38:35I know
38:36I suppose it's
38:38seven for women
38:39and
38:39seven for women
38:45that's a vegetable
38:46star mix
38:49I had a bag of
38:50Dolly mix
38:51I really wish
38:54my fridge looked
38:55like that
39:00I can't see a
39:01single pork pie
39:02in there
39:03to me
39:04is no fridge
39:07I love pork pies
39:09I like pork pies
39:10but I find
39:11you start a pork pie
39:12you think I really
39:13like this
39:14but the two thirds
39:14way through
39:16I start to go
39:17off it
39:18and I don't know
39:18why
39:19is that to do
39:19with me
39:20send it to me
39:20the rest of it
39:22you've got
39:23complex pork pie
39:24avoidance
39:25yes
39:29it's actually
39:30rather staggering
39:30there are only
39:31British people
39:31left alive
39:32on the world
39:34it's just amazing
39:35we all eat
39:35fatty spicy foods
39:37and certainly
39:38don't get our
39:38five a day
39:40and lastly
39:41here's something
39:41every teenage boy
39:42should know
39:43what is it that
39:44burns when you
39:45set fire to
39:46your farts
39:49you want someone
39:50to say methane
39:51don't you
39:51I'll say it
39:54no
39:55no
39:55I really thought
39:56it was methane
39:57yes everybody
39:57thinks it's methane
39:58no
39:58most human beings
39:59do not produce methane
40:00in their
40:01extrusion
40:02it seems
40:03it seems that we
40:04produce about
40:04three pints
40:05of wind
40:06a day
40:06released
40:07pints
40:08yes pints
40:09it's measured
40:10in pints
40:10released in
40:1110 to 15
40:12individual
40:13episodes
40:15you can get a
40:16box set as well
40:24oh you can have
40:25a feature length
40:26so pyroflatulence
40:31is the practice
40:31of igniting these
40:32episodes
40:33can lead to
40:33serious burns
40:34so don't try it
40:34at home everybody
40:35but methane in
40:36the body
40:37results from
40:38microbes called
40:38methenogens
40:39but only about
40:40a third of humans
40:41have methenogens
40:43among their gut
40:43flora
40:44so no one knows
40:45exactly why
40:45that appears to be
40:46genetically determined
40:46and a 2009 study
40:48by Arizona State
40:49University showed
40:50that methane
40:50producers are more
40:51efficient at converting
40:52their undigested food
40:54into fat reserves
40:54which bluntly put
40:55means fat people
40:56fart more
40:58the major components
41:00of fletus
41:03the major components
41:04are all odourless
41:05the distinctive aroma
41:06is caused by
41:07scatol, indole
41:08and hydrogen sulfide
41:09during the great plague
41:10of London
41:10doctors recommended
41:11patients store
41:13their farts
41:13in a jar
41:14and then when
41:15they were feeling
41:15unwell
41:16smell them
41:16and apparently
41:17this would help
41:18anyway
41:19it's usually
41:20hydrogen
41:21in fact
41:21that's lit
41:22but as I always
41:23say better out
41:24than in
41:24definitely
41:25bit like
41:26Simon Cowell
41:26in a lifeboat
41:32and now the
41:33complication set in
41:34as we look at
41:35the final scores
41:36it's very exciting
41:38because in first
41:39place with a very
41:40positive and a very
41:41thrillingly impressive
41:42eight points is
41:43Andy Hamilton
41:50and in second place
41:52with five points
41:53is Dr. Ben Goldacre
41:59but by no means
42:00the sickest patient
42:01on the ward
42:02with only minus
42:03seven is
42:04Alan David
42:08I'm afraid
42:09it's get the mortuary
42:11trolley ready
42:12at minus
42:1324
42:14Joe Brown
42:22well that's all
42:23from us tonight
42:23so it's good night
42:24from Ben
42:25Andy Joe
42:25Alan and me
42:26and I leave you
42:26with this heartwarming
42:27tale from America
42:28in 1981
42:29the mayor of
42:30Springfield Illinois
42:31suffered a heart attack
42:32during a council meeting
42:33the council voted
42:34to wish him
42:35a speedy recovery
42:36by a margin
42:37of 19 votes
42:38to 18
42:39good night
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