00:20I'm Kyle the Chop Man Smith. Today I use my 10-inch high curb and geofag-
00:24Blade Games! America's 8th fastest-growing sport will continue after the break.
00:28Dude, I can't believe how cool Blade Games are! They're all like shing-ka-chunk.
00:35Shing!
00:37What do you two think you're doing? I'm not paying you to beat up the couch.
00:40In fact, I need you to thin the overgrown bamboo, get rid of the old Mylar balloons, shape the hedges,
00:46get rid of that tree stump, and prep the birthday salami.
00:50But can we finish watching these Blade Games first?
00:51It's Tankless Slice!
00:55Ah!
00:56Get to work right now!
00:57Fine.
01:00Dude, look. It's a Bam Blade.
01:03Shing!
01:04Mine's a Bam Blade, too!
01:06Shing!
01:10Unbelievable. It's every single day.
01:14Sorry, Pops. I didn't see you standing there with your towel.
01:17That's quite all right. I heard you yelling earlier and wanted to wash off the tension with an air bath.
01:24Okay. Well, look, Pops, I'm sorry for yelling, but I just can't get Mordecai and Rigby to do their work.
01:29Perhaps yelling isn't effective. I'd happily loan you my old managerial motivation tapes from when I was park manager.
01:36Sure. Thanks, Pops, but I can handle it.
01:39Ugh!
01:41Anyone seen a Bam Blade?
01:42Ugh! Give me the tapes!
01:44Ugh.
01:45This better work.
02:06This better work.
02:14A machine will never replace you. Great job!
02:18Thanks, Joan Crandon. I love you.
02:21As you can see, positive reinforcement reinforces positivity.
02:26Oh, duh.
02:27Hey, Joan Crandon, can't unwanted hugs be considered workplace harassment?
02:32Now don't get ahead of yourself, Bill. We'll cover that in my other series.
02:37It's the 80s with Joan Crandon.
02:40Oh, jeez.
02:42All I'm saying is, if you get Tankless Slice and the Chop Man in the same room, someone's walking out
02:46with one less limb.
02:48Shoot! Benson's coming!
02:52Well, well, well, if it isn't my two favorite employees.
02:57Where?
02:57Hedge, just look at that hedge.
03:03Gotcha!
03:05What?
03:07Gertjeb.
03:10Great job! I can see you've been working very hard!
03:13So you're saying we did such a great job, we can take a break to go watch Blade Games!
03:17Blade Games, Blade Games, Chopin' Everythang Games...
03:20No! That's not what I meant!
03:21...watch a bunch of Blade Games!
03:23It's time for lesson two, Mentorship.
03:26Mentorship is when you help a less experienced employee by mentoring them.
03:34Let me show you what I mean.
03:36Hi, Joan Crandon! I've been trying to understand this deal memo. Problem is, I can't read.
03:41Not to worry, Bill. I'll show you how.
03:45Oh, hi, Barb. I know you're super busy, but would you mind teaching Bill here how to read?
03:50No problem, Joan Crandon. And I don't expect extra compensation either.
03:55Thanks, Barb. You're the best. Don't hate. Delegate!
04:01Muscle Man, I have a special assignment for you.
04:05Wax it, relax it. Wax it, relax it. Faster! Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!
04:14Ow! Ow!
04:17One, two, three, four...
04:28Sorry for forgetting you're allergic to eggs, Rigby.
04:31Rigby, can you hear me? Blink once for no, twice for yes.
04:37That's great! Now, did you manage to finish any of your work before this happened?
04:44One more for yes, Rigby. Please blink. Rigby, just blink. Your eyes are getting dry.
04:53Aren't they hurting? Fine! I need to go watch a video.
04:58Welcome back. I'm Joan Crandon. It's time for lesson number three, reverse psychology.
05:05Uh-huh.
05:05With reverse psychology, you can motivate your employees to do the opposite of what they'd normally do.
05:12But you probably don't get what I'm saying.
05:14Yes, I do.
05:20Take that! Take that!
05:21Hey, guys.
05:23Oh, we were just about to do our work.
05:24Work? Nah, you guys don't have to work anymore today.
05:27We don't.
05:28All right.
05:29Forget about it. Just keep waving those brooms around to your heart's content.
05:36They should be getting to work any minute now.
05:41Any minute now.
05:43Double shing.
05:44Any minute?
05:46Mine's bigger than yours.
05:51Uh-oh.
05:53It seems that those pesky employees are beating you at your own game.
05:56It's time for you to...
05:59Gamify!
06:01Hmm.
06:02Gamifying is about motivating your employees by convincing them that their work is a game.
06:08Let's check on Bill.
06:1099, 100.
06:13I just got a high score in mopping.
06:16Yeah!
06:17You sure did.
06:19Gamify?
06:20I love games!
06:20Dude, let's play a video game.
06:22Blade games!
06:24I got it.
06:26Blade games competition at the park?
06:28All skills welcome?
06:29Aw, yeah!
06:31We're totally gonna enter.
06:32So crazy there's a blade games competition at the park right after we got into blade games.
06:36Whatcha doing?
06:38Being creepy?
06:39Oh, me?
06:39I just made a fake blade games competition to get Mordecai and Rigby to do their jobs.
06:44It's called gamifying.
06:45I think it's called lying.
06:47It's not lying.
06:48It's a motivational technique.
06:50Uh-huh.
06:51Good luck with that.
06:54Oh, are you two here for the blade games?
06:56You know it!
06:58More to cut?
07:00Rigged slice?
07:01Bet you can't guess who's who.
07:02Okay, so listen up.
07:03Here is how the blade games work.
07:06You have to get through these five stations.
07:08Slice the overgrown bamboo.
07:11Chop the edges along the western trail.
07:13Cut up the old mylar balloons.
07:15Light up that old dead tree stump and dice the birthday salami.
07:19The winner will get this.
07:21The official blade games trophy.
07:26Now, if you'll come right this way, we can get things started.
07:30Who are they even competing against?
07:33Ready, set, go!
07:37Big slice!
07:43I mean, they absolutely suck, but I'm oddly impressed they're motivated at all.
07:47Oh, how did you do it, Vincent?
07:49Just a little technique I learned from Pop's old motivational tapes.
07:55Jolly good show.
07:56There's something wrong about this.
07:58Oh, what's the worst that could happen?
08:00There's something wrong.
08:08Chapter 16
08:09Two, two, two, three, go.
08:12One, two, three, go.
08:14One, two, one, go.
08:18Who are Thou, the Chop, and Smith?
08:23Sign my blade!
08:24Mr. Chop, we're big fans.
08:26We're here for the blade games.
08:28Oh, I see the confusion.
08:30No, no, this is more of a work function.
08:32Not blade games?
08:33What? It's not blade games.
08:35No, no, it's blade games. Keep going.
08:38It's not really blade games.
08:40It's this thing called gamifying.
08:43Oh, you besmirched the name of blade games.
08:47And now we're gonna blade this park to the studs!
08:53It is real!
08:54Quick, before they chop it all down.
08:57Well, that could have gone better,
08:58but at least Mordecai and Rigby are still motivated.
09:07Okay, this is fine. The jobs are getting done.
09:09Oh, hey, Benson. Is that part of the competition?
09:14Wait, stop!
09:15Hey, Benson. Is that part of the competition?
09:21No, please stop!
09:22Hey, Benson.
09:23Is your car part of the competition?
09:28Oh, no, no, no!
09:29No!
09:30No!
09:38No!
09:44Take some for Ridglaid!
09:59Oh!
10:00Ha, ha, ha, ha!
10:14Geez, that's super awkward.
10:18Okay, time to cut and run.
10:21Later, guys!
10:25Oh, bro, this is pretty uncomfortable.
10:27Yeah, sorry, Benson. We'll go do our jobs.
10:30Yeah, man, geez.
10:31I'll see what I can do about your car.
10:37And remember, if gamifying doesn't work,
10:41pulling on the heartstrings is an effective tool that gets quick results.
10:48Emotional manipulation.
11:14Oh, yeah.
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