- 12 hours ago
#comedy #romance
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00:01The End
00:00:38The End
00:01:10The End
00:01:30Thomas Jefferson Tyler
00:01:32He ought to be horsewhip for using that name
00:01:46Thomas Jefferson Tyler
00:01:48He's probably one of those chinless hacks
00:01:51Who bribes chambermaids to peek through keyholes
00:02:10Thomas Jefferson Tyler
00:02:12And he calls that writing, I suppose
00:02:13I've seen better writing on a board fence
00:02:45Thomas Jefferson Tyler
00:02:55Oh, there he is
00:02:58One place
00:03:01That's the young man I was telling you about
00:03:02Oh
00:03:08Oh, hello there
00:03:09Won't you join us?
00:03:10Thank you
00:03:11This is Mr. What is your name again?
00:03:13Thomas
00:03:13Tom Thomas
00:03:14Tom Tom
00:03:15How quaint sounds Indian
00:03:16This is my niece, Sarah Farley
00:03:18Good evening
00:03:19And the Count de Guillaume
00:03:20How do you do?
00:03:21How do you do?
00:03:23Sarah Farley of the Farley chain
00:03:25I can hardly believe it
00:03:27Sarah, show him a grocery store
00:03:30You know, I've been reading those articles about you
00:03:32Really?
00:03:33Yes, you see
00:03:33I run a small town paper
00:03:34And the news syndicates brought the series to my attention
00:03:37How interesting
00:03:40Well, naturally I didn't touch them
00:03:41Oh?
00:03:42Why not?
00:03:44I wouldn't print things like that
00:03:45I think it's outrageous
00:03:48Besides the folks in my town
00:03:50Are opposed to that sort of nasty writing
00:03:52Didn't I tell you he was charming?
00:03:55Would you like to dance?
00:03:56Not now, Audrey
00:03:57Tell me, Mr. Thomas
00:03:59Thomas
00:04:01Do people in small towns realize that I'm being liable?
00:04:04Of course
00:04:06They're just like city folk, Miss Farley
00:04:08Except that they have a sense of fairness
00:04:11You see, they rather like you
00:04:12They feel that you've been a victim of circumstances
00:04:15And bad public relations
00:04:17They feel that it's happened because your parents died
00:04:20When you were a little girl
00:04:22Well, you need a mother, a father, or a husband
00:04:27Shall we dance now, dear?
00:04:28This is a revelation, Mr. Thomas
00:04:31I always felt that most people believed those stories
00:04:34Oh, no
00:04:36No, Miss Farley
00:04:37You mustn't lose faith in the real people
00:04:39They understand you
00:04:46I'm sorry
00:04:47I shouldn't have started all this
00:04:48Spoiling your evening
00:04:51I don't suppose you'd care to dance
00:04:53I'd love
00:04:55Thank you
00:04:56Excuse me
00:05:02He's nice, don't you think?
00:05:04I do not
00:05:05I think he's trying to take the bread right out of my mouth
00:05:13He's stalking her now, my pigeon
00:05:15I can tell by the look on his face
00:05:41Hello
00:05:42Uh, let me speak to Miss Sarah Farley, please
00:05:45Yeah
00:05:53Hello
00:05:55Oh, hello
00:05:58Tonight?
00:05:59Oh, no, I can't, Mr. Thomas
00:06:01I promised Count de Guillaume that I'd go dog sledding with him
00:06:05No
00:06:07Dog sledding
00:06:08Okay, I'll try you again some other time
00:06:10Have fun
00:06:11With the dogs
00:06:14Thanks
00:06:14And you will call me again
00:06:17Good
00:06:18Goodbye
00:06:30Hello, get me the sports desk
00:06:34Oh, sports desk
00:06:35This is Mr. Thomas speaking
00:06:36I'd like to talk to someone in charge of dog sleds
00:06:41Oh
00:06:41Oh, I see
00:06:42Well, have him call me as soon as he comes in, will you?
00:06:45It's very important
00:06:46A matter of life and death
00:06:48Thanks
00:06:49Oh, thanks
00:06:57Oh, I see
00:07:23driver where's the other sled no speak english me esquimo hug and what are you doing here
00:07:32oh i'm an old dog driver from way back mush
00:07:53oh mr thomas
00:07:56mr thomas are you all right oh why'd you have to slug me i didn't you slugged yourself on that
00:08:05tree
00:08:05was i out long not long can you sit up yes
00:08:12you're hurt it's nothing at all just a compound fracture of the skull
00:08:17i guess i deserved it though for playing the smart aleck you need first aid i need peace and quiet
00:08:23come on get up we'd better start back to the lodge if we can find it
00:08:33hey look look there's one of those emergency ski cabins how very convenient mr thomas
00:08:39well we can at least keep warm until they find this
00:08:57keep still how can i if you keep poking into it i'm trying to decide if it's too deep for
00:09:02iodine
00:09:02iodine iodine in my first aid course oh no no never mind it's it's just a scratch believe me
00:09:07thank you anyway i have something much better there well you came very well equipped mr thomas
00:09:15do we pour it on your head is that the way you like it there's nothing wrong with my head
00:09:20i don't know you're probably suffering from shock and exposure oh no just curiosity
00:09:26you went to quite some pains to get me alone why
00:09:30pains is right but that tree wasn't in the script oh here hold these a minute
00:09:39i hope you won't laugh at me miss farley but
00:09:44i've written an article about you for for my little paper you too yes well i wouldn't think of
00:09:49publishing it without having you read it first that's the new wrinkle anyway so that's why i wanted an
00:09:53hour or so alone with you here if you don't mind this is uh begins right
00:10:01few people know the true story behind sarah farley
00:10:05she's been hurt deeply hurt by all the forces always arrayed against inherited wealth
00:10:16she's a fine warm human being who has been taught to conceal her true emotions
00:10:21behind an icy wall
00:10:28well you like it how could i help liking it but you're not really going to print this mr thomas
00:10:35you know i think it's time someone printed your side of the story a sort of rebuttal to people
00:10:39like that that tyler oh let's forget him here's to tyler may you drop dead
00:10:47well is it accurate have i my facts straight well this isn't true that i'm engaged to andre de guillon
00:10:53he's just an amusing companion and up here why don't you go through the whole thing tell me the
00:10:58real story then i can use quotes make it authentic you see with quotes from you we can make that
00:11:03stuff
00:11:03that tyler's been writing looks sick well if you like i'm not really that interesting oh you are to
00:11:09me go on tell me everything from the beginning and sometimes i wish i'd been born poor and then i
00:11:19kick
00:11:19myself and say don't be an idiot because i'm fond of all the things money can buy too
00:11:24even andre who comes high prices being what they are these days you see it's a very dull and prosaic
00:11:31story and i've talked about myself much too long oh no no i could listen to you all night i've
00:11:35never
00:11:36told anyone these things before have you enough in your article plenty i have your permission to quote
00:11:40you of course now this is dynamite for tyler that is he is to tyler may he drop dead
00:11:50i hate to think what he'd do with some of those quotes well he uh he probably sees things from
00:11:56a
00:11:56slightly different angle yes through a keyhole oh i uh i wouldn't be too hard on tyler he has to
00:12:02make
00:12:02a living after all not as far as i'm concerned he doesn't well i i do happen to know that
00:12:07he has a
00:12:08fine record as a war correspondent that makes it even worse that he should stoop so low
00:12:13and let's not waste any more time talking about him well this article will fix him but good
00:12:19you're not very experienced in newspaper work are you mr thomas uh tom already tom i make a living
00:12:27at it don't print that article what it'll only make you look foolish me in the first place it simply
00:12:37isn't good journalism i know tom i'm the expert they started in on me when i was in kindergarten
00:12:44when i won a prize for deportment there wasn't a line about it but it was front page news when
00:12:48i tried
00:12:48to scratch the eyes out of that little beast of a vandermeer girl the great reading public isn't
00:12:54interested in normal human beings they want freaks served up with all the trimmings in the second
00:12:59place you know what they'll say about you tyler and people like that that i took you in made a
00:13:03fool of
00:13:04you even that i paid you to write about me favorably i'm grateful to you tom for wanting
00:13:09to do it but it just isn't worth it do you care what they say about me miss farney sarah
00:13:18do you sarah
00:13:19yes i do tom why oh i don't know because because you're such a bad dog driver and because you
00:13:27get
00:13:27hurt so easily i don't want you to get hurt for my sake then you'll become warped and cynical like
00:13:32the
00:13:32rest of them you're too nice for that why are you looking at me like that tom as if you've
00:13:46never seen
00:13:46me before maybe it's the whiskey or the crack on the head i took or maybe it's just you
00:14:02i guess we're being rescued i'm afraid we are
00:14:16tom's room's over there
00:14:31come in
00:14:36good morning sir oh good morning a little early aren't you it's nine o'clock your usual time
00:14:42sort of overslept yourself didn't you had a big night i guess you was at the fire
00:14:47what fire the old courthouse at three four here it's in the local paper
00:14:52burned to the ground nothing left of it oh a lot of folks went over from the laws
00:14:59yes sir we'll miss the old courthouse a lot of sun valley romances wound up there
00:15:04you know we used to have two or three weddings a season regular gretchen green you might say
00:15:11uh will that be awesome yes yes that'll be i'll sign that later
00:15:25oh uh hello let me speak to miss sarah farley please
00:15:28miss farley left word that she was not to be awakened until she called may i take a message
00:15:32no no that'll be all right thanks hello give me the transportation desk transportation desk when
00:15:41is the next train out of here 9 35 sir well this is mr thomas speaking can you get me
00:15:46a reservation
00:15:46on it anything but that's in half an hour i'll be ready can you get me on it yes sir
00:15:51thanks
00:16:05where are they i'm starving so am i i'll look and see
00:16:22are they coming andre is but i don't see tom why don't you and andre go ahead and have lunch
00:16:30well have you seen tom no i haven't and as a matter of fact i don't think you will either
00:16:36why not i inquired at the desk and found he's checked out checked out when about an hour ago
00:16:41without even saying anything why would he do that he had his reasons
00:17:12andre have you that wedding ring you're always flashing at me why yes saturday i have it right
00:17:16here this is so sudden i only want to borrow it now sarah that lying sneaking fruit twisting everything i
00:17:54say
00:17:55too intensely but he swept me off my feet and we were married at last i found a man with
00:18:01whom i can
00:18:01be really happy and to prove my love i've i've settled a million a million who is the account
00:18:08oh no oh what's this man who is it come on tom tom who tom tom better known as thomas
00:18:17jefferson
00:18:18tyler you look wonderful yes you too i did nothing but sleep on the train
00:18:35didn't you turn out any more copy yes we caught up on all the other stuff yes i did one
00:18:38more than
00:18:38the local gazette ran my picture and i had to beat it thank you
00:18:49in a way the public has always misunderstood her few people know the true story behind sarah
00:18:54farley she has been hurt deeply hurt by all the forces always arrayed against inherited wealth
00:18:59you call this a detached viewpoint you know i got a different slant it reads like a testimonial
00:19:04she is a fine warm human being
00:19:09who has been taught to conceal her true emotions behind an icy wall well let me tell you something
00:19:14duffy she's not the kind of girl we thought she was your dispatch observer thanks eva doesn't
00:19:37come in here what's the matter what are you doing that for let me get him out of here him
00:19:45why get
00:19:46him out or i'll print the next edition in his blood oh no wait a minute let's speak to me
00:19:51you benedict
00:19:52donald but this isn't true it's a lie they get him out of here come on will you no i'm
00:19:56not going
00:19:56this is ridiculous you don't believe me are you not happy in the back for a dirty man i wouldn't
00:20:01believe your dying conflict i'll get her on the phone i'll prove it's not on one of our phones get
00:20:05mr sarah farley out of here trying to i'm trying to explain two men like working here yeah why sure
00:20:11well he doesn't work here anymore so if you want to keep on working here throw him out shut up
00:20:15a minute
00:20:17please hello hello is this the farley well all right all right i'll use the phone booth in the hall
00:20:26out
00:20:32tom are you sure am i sure what you didn't fall for of course i didn't she's not a woman
00:20:38she's a
00:20:39corporate structure she asked for it and she'll get it i'll write a series of articles about her that'll
00:20:45burn her to a crisp for what paper what's that remember definitely fired you i can get another
00:20:51job i wonder after everything that's happened all right then i'll do the series for for pravda
00:20:56they'll eat it up typical capitalist behavior oh tom be serious the sensible thing is to demand a
00:21:01retraction from her not a chance from the papers that ran the story yeah i guess you're right i could
00:21:09do that good will you drop me off at my place wire the papers and then try and get a
00:21:13good night's sleep
00:21:23good night
00:21:25good night
00:21:44sirius
00:21:45Riley!
00:21:49Mrs. Riley!
00:21:51Mrs. Riley!
00:21:54Get out of here, you bunch of boots!
00:21:57This is not my respectable house and I don't want any trouble with any of you!
00:22:02Thank you, Mrs. Riley.
00:22:03Mr. Tyler, you rascal, you!
00:22:06No, no, please, Mrs. Riley.
00:22:07Oh, you never said a word about it, you sly boots.
00:22:11You dear boy, I could kiss you!
00:22:15Oh, no, you don't!
00:22:16Don't you dare come into my house!
00:22:20Everyone, get out of my house and you stay out, you hear me?
00:22:26Hello, get me Western Union.
00:22:29Hello, Western Union.
00:22:30This is Lexington 21598.
00:22:33I want to send a telegram to the Courier, Dispatch, Observer, all the New York newspapers.
00:22:37That's right.
00:22:38Now, this is the message.
00:22:40I categorically didn't...
00:22:42Hmm?
00:22:43Oh, never mind.
00:22:44I positively deny that I am married to Sarah Farley.
00:22:48I demand an immediate retraction and apology.
00:22:51Signed, Thomas Jefferson Tyler.
00:22:55Of course it's the truth!
00:22:56You send it just the way I gave it to you.
00:22:59All right.
00:22:59We want Tyler.
00:23:03We want Tyler!
00:23:05We want Tyler!
00:23:17Slick, oh, gentlemen, gives the hair that smooth gloss that makes you irresistible to the ladies.
00:23:23As irresistible as Romeo was to Juliet, as Anthony was to Cleopatra, as Tom Tom Tyler was to Sarah Farley.
00:23:32Dedicating the next number to this romantic pair, you will now hear a new recording of an old favorite.
00:23:37Thanks a million.
00:23:51It's me, Mrs. Riley.
00:23:58Are you alone?
00:24:00Yes, dear.
00:24:04Come in.
00:24:06I made your breakfast myself.
00:24:09Never mind about that.
00:24:10Did you get those papers?
00:24:11Yeah.
00:24:20Mr. Tyler, I hope you'll disregard that foolish note I sent you about last month's rent.
00:24:28I should have realized your head was up in the clouds and you had no time for sordid and mundane
00:24:34things.
00:24:53Is something wrong, Mr. Tyler?
00:24:55Everything's wrong.
00:24:56Oh, I can't be that bad, Mr. Tyler.
00:24:59A little tear for lover's spat.
00:25:01I always say the course of true love never runs smoothly.
00:25:04A little sun and a little shade makes the fairest day.
00:25:07Get out of here.
00:25:08Oh, Mr. Tyler.
00:25:09Get out.
00:25:09Mr. Tyler.
00:25:10Get out of here right now.
00:25:11It's a good thing you've got a million dollars.
00:25:13Get out.
00:26:05Mr. Tyler, only $1,500 and it's yours.
00:26:08Take it away.
00:26:08I'm not interested.
00:26:09But you don't understand, Mr. Tyler.
00:26:11It worked.
00:26:12Oh!
00:26:22Hi, Finley.
00:26:23Hello, Finley.
00:26:27Well?
00:26:29But this is crazy.
00:26:30Look, you've got to explain to him.
00:26:31Tell him that I...
00:26:32You know, Duffy, he won't listen.
00:26:33Here, Joe.
00:26:34Yes, sir.
00:26:34How's it going, Cinderella man?
00:26:36You don't happen to have a couple of grand in small bills on you, do you?
00:26:39Lay off, Eddie.
00:26:40Duffy's fired him.
00:26:41So is an unemployed millionaire.
00:26:43My heart bleeds.
00:26:44Joe, a round of drinks on Mr. Farley.
00:26:45Wait a minute.
00:26:46If I'm not married...
00:26:46Have a fight already?
00:26:48How can you argue with a million bucks?
00:26:50Maybe he doesn't want to get measured for his polo mallet.
00:26:53Well, here's mother in your spats.
00:26:55Why don't you two guys...
00:26:55Take your entire jokes back to the bar.
00:26:59Listen, Tom.
00:27:00Why don't you go home?
00:27:02If Sarah's there, maybe she'll convince you, too.
00:27:05Well, anyway, go home.
00:27:07If Duffy comes in here, there's going to be trouble.
00:27:08No, I can't go home.
00:27:09The hall's full of guys trying to sell me things.
00:27:12Real estate, insurance, perpetual motion machines, yachts.
00:27:16How can I prove I'm not married to that dame?
00:27:19How would you prove it?
00:27:21I'm married already.
00:27:22My wife hasn't got a yacht to her name.
00:27:33Jess, will you marry me?
00:27:36What?
00:27:36I said, will you marry me?
00:27:39It'll prove it, don't you see?
00:27:40I'm not going to marry you just to prove that you're not married to her.
00:27:43Now, look, all your life you've been railing against her kind of woman.
00:27:46Useless, troublemakers, parasites.
00:27:47You're not going to let her get away with this, are you?
00:27:49Well, I don't...
00:27:49Oh, please, Jess, see it my way.
00:27:51We can go right down to City Hall.
00:27:52Hey, what is this?
00:27:55Please, Jess.
00:27:57Let's go.
00:27:58I'll tell Duffy.
00:27:59You phone from the City Hall.
00:28:01I'll haul you from down there.
00:28:02Cinderella man went big there and hears about this.
00:28:04I'm going to ride down with you.
00:28:07Hello.
00:28:08I want to speak to Miss Sarah Farley, Johnson of the Courier.
00:28:12Oh.
00:28:13Just tell her her husband's getting married.
00:28:16That's what I said.
00:28:17He just went down to the City Hall.
00:28:25Look, I don't know what kind of license you fellas want, but this ain't the place for it.
00:28:31What's keeping the clerk?
00:28:34Probably can't read your signature on the application.
00:28:37Thomas Jefferson, Tyler, and Jessica Wood?
00:28:39Yes.
00:28:39Mr. Conner from the Chief Clerk would like to see you in his office.
00:28:42Right this way.
00:28:46What's up?
00:28:47Chief Clerk don't confide in me.
00:28:53You can't go in there.
00:28:55What's Conner talking about?
00:28:56Come on, give us something.
00:28:57You Thomas Jefferson, Tyler?
00:28:59Jessica Woods?
00:29:00Yes.
00:29:01These are the two that applied for the license, Fisher?
00:29:03Yes, sir.
00:29:04What's this all about?
00:29:05You may not know it, Miss Woods, but this man already has a wife.
00:29:09I have not.
00:29:10He's marrying me.
00:29:10He's married to Sarah Farley.
00:29:12Here it is all over the front page.
00:29:13I'm not married to anybody, and I insist that you give me a license.
00:29:15I can't be a party to a conspiracy to commit bigamy.
00:29:18You got any proof that you're not married to Sarah Farley?
00:29:22You know no one can prove that they're not married.
00:29:24Nobody issues certificates of non-marriage.
00:29:27You got to take my word for it.
00:29:28I'm not married to Sarah Farley.
00:29:30Tom, Tom.
00:29:32How can you say that?
00:29:35We had a little quarrel.
00:29:37I'm sorry, darling, and I forgive you.
00:29:39You forgive me?
00:29:40Now, you cut this out.
00:29:41Oh, this must be so awkward for you, my dear.
00:29:44I'm terribly sorry, but Tom, Tom is married to me.
00:29:46When were we married?
00:29:47Have you forgotten already?
00:29:49Where were we married?
00:29:50Oh, you shouldn't do this to me, and on our honeymoon, too, just because you're angry with me.
00:29:54It's so embarrassing.
00:29:55Where were we married?
00:29:57Don't shout, dear.
00:29:58We shouldn't hear our quarrels in public.
00:30:00She's lying.
00:30:01I'm not married to Miss Farley, and I insisted you give me a license to marry Miss Wood.
00:30:04Stop shouting at me.
00:30:05You ought to be ashamed of yourself, pulling such a scurvy drink.
00:30:07Listen, you're here to serve the public.
00:30:08I'm one of the public, and I insist on my rights.
00:30:11Take him out.
00:30:11You're denying me my rights by force.
00:30:13That man is setting up a moral censorship when all he was ever commissioned to do was to grant licenses.
00:30:22I just don't understand it, Jess.
00:30:24I'm absolutely innocent, and I lost my job.
00:30:27Can't go home.
00:30:28I can't even get married.
00:30:29No civil rights.
00:30:30I'm like a man without a country.
00:30:33Also, I'm hungry.
00:30:35Let's have dinner at my place.
00:30:36Have any money?
00:30:37I think I'd spend it all on taxi fare.
00:30:42We have four dollars.
00:30:44Come on.
00:30:44I'll be fine.
00:30:57Come on.
00:31:20Jess, this is a Farley store.
00:31:23Look, there's the caviar.
00:31:25Come on, here.
00:31:26Give me a hand with these.
00:31:28These, please, huh?
00:31:29Tom, we only have four dollars.
00:31:31Never mind about the money.
00:31:33I'm married to a rich woman.
00:31:35Come on.
00:31:35Bring your basket along here.
00:31:36Wait, we'll get another one.
00:31:37Tom, you'll never get away with this.
00:31:39Huh?
00:31:40Sure, I will.
00:31:41We can't possibly get all this stuff.
00:31:43Never mind.
00:31:44We'll put it away someplace.
00:31:46Ready, Monk?
00:31:52Three, six, and five.
00:31:54Where do you keep the champagne?
00:31:55No champagne, sir.
00:31:56No champagne?
00:31:58No type of store.
00:32:00Probably have boll weevils in the flower.
00:32:01Nine, eleven.
00:32:02Oh, no, sir.
00:32:04Six, eighty, five.
00:32:05Oh, you can stop that counting.
00:32:07That isn't necessary.
00:32:08Three, two, three, forty.
00:32:10Oh, yes, sir.
00:32:11I have to.
00:32:12Nine, thirty.
00:32:13You don't think I'm going to pay for this, do you?
00:32:15I own this stuff.
00:32:19Thirteen, eighty.
00:32:20Mr. Bissell.
00:32:24Mr. Bissell.
00:32:26Yes?
00:32:27One, one, forty, three.
00:32:29This man doesn't want to pay.
00:32:32Twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty, twenty.
00:32:43Five, five.
00:32:45Mr. Farley?
00:32:47Well, I mean, Mr. Tyler.
00:32:49Well, well, this is an honor.
00:32:52To be chosen out of all the Farley stores.
00:32:55I'm so pleased, Miss Farley.
00:32:57I'm not Miss Farley.
00:32:59This is Miss Woods, my fiancée.
00:33:00How do you do?
00:33:02Fiancée?
00:33:03But you're...
00:33:03My wife is very broad-minded.
00:33:05Five, fifty, two, thirty.
00:33:08Stop counting.
00:33:11Oh, I've lost count.
00:33:13Never mind.
00:33:15I hope...
00:33:16I mean...
00:33:17Well, congratulations.
00:33:24Pick up a couple of bags, Jessica, dear, and let's go home to dinner.
00:33:28There we are.
00:33:29Good night.
00:33:35I don't know what we're going to do with all this stuff.
00:33:37You can give it away if you like.
00:33:38There's plenty more where this came from.
00:33:40We could start another grocery store.
00:33:42Well, this has great possibilities.
00:33:49Jessica, this has even greater possibilities.
00:33:51Like what?
00:33:53Kim?
00:33:53That's how fast he is.
00:33:54Oh, don't you?
00:33:55Sonny?
00:33:56Huh?
00:33:57Here, is that your sister?
00:33:58Uh-huh.
00:33:59Well, you take that home to Mother now.
00:34:00Gee.
00:34:01Oh, thanks.
00:34:03I won't be home to dinner, dear.
00:34:04Where are you going?
00:34:06I'm going to call on my wife.
00:34:07shovels.
00:34:20Ah, come on.
00:34:22Ah, come on.
00:34:29Let's go.
00:34:30Oh, my God!
00:34:31Come on!
00:34:33Ah, come on!
00:34:44yes hello is mrs tyler in who sir i'm mr tyler miss farley's husband oh yes sir won't you
00:34:51please come in miss sarah i mean mrs tyler didn't tell me you were pending my congratulations thank
00:34:57you i'm buried sir oh thank you barrett is she in no sir she's out for the evening well i'll
00:35:05see
00:35:05her later you have a spare room for me oh certainly sir adjoining me adjoining mrs tyler sir this way
00:35:12please may i say sir that the staff was delighted with your articles you like them i saw right through
00:35:26them sir i even predicted the marriage sir won 180 from the staff are they paid off yet they will
00:35:35at the end of the month sir it was child's play i recognize it immediately sir a kind of left
00:35:44-handed
00:35:44romance the devastating criticism of a man in love it's a nice deduction rather obvious if i may say
00:35:51so sir the writer of those articles was trying to avoid showing his affection you happen to know
00:35:58where she went barrett he's dining at the whitson's the where the whitson's sir
00:36:08the whitson's yes sir this one sir
00:36:16miss sarah's parents left mr witson in charge of the farley chain
00:36:20frankly say he doesn't know his wholesale from his retail
00:36:31barrett yes sir get me a cab
00:36:34yes sir
00:36:45mr witson residence yes sir is miss sarah farley here who shall i say is calling sir
00:36:50mr tom tom tyler the cinderella man i'm miss farley's husband
00:37:02darling mr tom tom tyler
00:37:08it's your last chance to call it off no you'll have to excuse us we're still on our honeymoon
00:37:18well dear you might at least introduce me oh this is mrs witson our hostess
00:37:24oh mrs witson how do you do i uh understood you were too ill to accept tonight mr tyler
00:37:29oh he is he's going right home aren't you d well i should say not i feel wonderful
00:37:34my husband mr tyler oh how do you do mr witson
00:37:38first one i've missed in years and mr and mrs vickers how do you do mrs vickers
00:37:43mr vickers how do you do and my favorite auntie hello
00:37:47is it true that you've given up newspaper work
00:37:49yes dear i'm going in for pigeon hunting
00:37:54miss clayton oh miss clayton how do you do mr sharp how do you do oh and can andre de
00:37:59guillaume
00:38:00why andre how are you good evening mrs witson this sounds like a wonderful party
00:38:07i always have wanted to mingle with a filthy rich but you know i can't afford one of those
00:38:12monkey suits and sarah hasn't bought me my trousseau yet darling you know you look feverish
00:38:16i really don't think you should stay oh no i feel like a million dollars
00:38:21million dollars that's pretty good huh the old beans working fine
00:38:26oh yeah thank you very much get out of here
00:38:30not unless you are uncle and make a public statement that we're not married
00:38:34not on your life
00:38:41no no thanks
00:38:43i'll stick with my peanuts
00:38:46goobers they call them where i come from
00:38:49and where is that mr tyler
00:38:51oh the hills of west virginia
00:38:53god's own country
00:38:55yep i grew up there as a barefoot boy with nothing more than a green thumb and a natural talent
00:38:59for making an eight the hard way
00:39:00but he's all right i got sarah
00:39:03ow
00:39:04his foot just happened to fit the glass slipper
00:39:07you know it's funny ma always used to say marry a rich girl feather your nest she said it can't
00:39:12hurt
00:39:13she was right
00:39:15guess you must still be watching over me
00:39:17has your mother passed on mr tyler
00:39:19oh no no no she's still up there in the cabin on the mountain
00:39:23the old witty of mount baldy they call her
00:39:25well she's about 70 now frail and white haired
00:39:28well i can see her there now
00:39:31smoking that old corn cob pipe that dad left her
00:39:35yes and you know sarah
00:39:36we'll have her come and live with us
00:39:38she's a wonderful gal
00:39:39well she chews tobacco just like dad
00:39:42only better
00:39:43she can drown a beetle at 20 paces
00:39:45oh she's you'll love her
00:39:47yes from the stories tom tells me mother tyler's terribly quaint and independent
00:39:51tell them about the time she shot the government agent
00:39:55oh well you don't have to hide anything here
00:39:58we have tax trouble too
00:40:00or do you think it would be carrying things too far
00:40:04why no no you mean about the time that the revenuers surrounded the still and ma came out with it
00:40:09yes that was the time
00:40:10well sure now come on
00:40:11you get over there and pretend that you're the agent
00:40:13oh no why don't you let mrs vickers be the agent
00:40:16well if you insist
00:40:19oops we busted our beads
00:40:21well don't worry about that
00:40:22there's plenty more where those came from
00:40:23you know i never could resist these stories
00:40:25because i'm mighty proud of my family's doings
00:40:28oh now mrs v if you'll just step right over here
00:40:30and pretend like you're one of those government varmints
00:40:32hiding behind an old pine tree
00:40:34he'd have to pick a big one just like you would
00:40:37why that's all right
00:40:37let's just step right back here
00:40:39that's fine now you stay there
00:40:40ma was down by the cabin
00:40:42standing guard with her squirrel gun
00:40:45oh um ma was quite a shot when she was sober
00:40:49well uncle porter
00:40:50he's my half-wit uncle with the hives
00:40:52uncle porter was heating up the mash
00:40:54and starting him to sweat out about a 40 gallon
00:40:56of the prettiest mountain dew
00:40:58that ever invited snakes to a picnic
00:40:59well ma suddenly spies that government varmint
00:41:02his treasury pallor give him away
00:41:03so she throws a sight on him and
00:41:07hey
00:41:09hey
00:41:09hey
00:41:09hey
00:41:10hey
00:41:10hey
00:41:10hey
00:41:26hey
00:41:52Not tonight, dear.
00:41:54Good night.
00:42:22Well, it's about time.
00:42:24How did you get in here?
00:42:25Where have you been since your rude exit from the Whitsons?
00:42:27Why was it store club with Andre?
00:42:29The store club, a fine thing.
00:42:31Get out of here right now!
00:42:32Remember the servants?
00:42:34What are you doing here?
00:42:35I've been waiting for you for hours.
00:42:37I made some sandwiches, I brought you some milk, and then I waited some more.
00:42:40How did I know you weren't killed or something?
00:42:42You worried about me.
00:42:44Well, if you'd been killed, I'd never been able to prove I wasn't married to you.
00:42:54Now will you go home?
00:42:55Oh, but I am home.
00:42:57I live here.
00:42:58I'm Mr. Farley, or your Mrs. Tyler, remember?
00:43:00Oh, fine wife you are.
00:43:03Still a bride and already you're out with another man.
00:43:10Are you going to marry this de Guillaume?
00:43:12That's none of your business.
00:43:18No answer.
00:43:19I gave all the servants the night off.
00:43:20You gave them the night off?
00:43:22Sure.
00:43:23I'm the new man of the house.
00:43:25Oh, I'll call the police.
00:43:27Good.
00:43:28Tell them I'm not your husband, please.
00:43:30Don't let me go through life with that blot on my record.
00:43:32You may as well get this straight.
00:43:34You are not going to get out of this.
00:43:37I'm going to devote my life to making you miserable.
00:43:40Especially after what you did at the Whitsons tonight.
00:43:43Well, I just showed pride in my family.
00:43:45Have a goober?
00:43:48You're going to get out of here if I have to throw you out myself.
00:43:51Wrong build.
00:43:52Nice, but wrong for the job.
00:43:55Why don't you try slugging me with a few old diamonds?
00:43:58Hey, hey, no, no.
00:44:00Hey.
00:44:00Hey, look out.
00:44:01Hey, put those down.
00:44:03Wait a minute.
00:44:04Have you gone crazy?
00:44:07Let me go.
00:44:09Now, you listen to me.
00:44:10I lost my job.
00:44:11My friends hoot at me.
00:44:12My girl feels foolish.
00:44:13And you get playful.
00:44:15Now, listen.
00:44:17You just listen to me for a minute, and then I'll let you talk.
00:44:20Okay?
00:44:21Did you hear me?
00:44:22All right.
00:44:24Now, first of all,
00:44:26I smell like the rose parade.
00:44:28That's your opinion.
00:44:30Let's stop being silly and get serious.
00:44:32Oh, certainly.
00:44:32When you get hurt, it's serious.
00:44:34Now, my attorneys happen to have checked on you.
00:44:37And you haven't learned to make an eight the hard way.
00:44:40You're a fair writer, but you're unscrupulous.
00:44:43And you're a wolf.
00:44:45That's a lie.
00:44:46Stella, Joan, Lucy, Martha, Tilly, Patsy, Lucille, Dee Dee, Poppy, Vera, Nancy, and Jessica.
00:44:54A round dozen.
00:44:56I see you like the athletic type, too.
00:44:59Dee Dee.
00:45:00A pitcher on a girl's baseball team.
00:45:03Probably had quite a wind-up.
00:45:05And Tilly, professionally known as the titillating twister from Tennessee.
00:45:09You gave her a fox scarf and then took it back.
00:45:12She gave it back.
00:45:13Oh, yes.
00:45:14She decided you weren't steady enough.
00:45:16No sense of responsibility.
00:45:18A gangster's mall, too.
00:45:21Don't remember, Patsy?
00:45:23You had to go into hiding until her boyfriend got caught.
00:45:25Remember?
00:45:27Yeah, well, I was just after a story.
00:45:29Anyhow, she was in hiding with me.
00:45:31Don't brag.
00:45:32Two FBI men were with you.
00:45:35According to the record, you're much worse than I am.
00:45:37So where do you get the right to criticize me in print?
00:45:42Okay.
00:45:44You through?
00:45:45Not with you.
00:45:46You're going to be mud in the public eye until I change my mind, Cinderella man.
00:45:51Sure?
00:45:53Positive.
00:45:55Okay, darling.
00:45:57I give in.
00:45:58I surrender.
00:45:59I'm your husband.
00:46:00Put out the cat, dear, and let's turn off the lights.
00:46:04What are you so surprised about?
00:46:06I'm still your husband.
00:46:07No, wait a minute.
00:46:09Come to your tom-tom.
00:46:11Go away!
00:46:13You maniac!
00:46:14But I love you, dear, as I have a legal right to do.
00:46:17Go away! Stop it!
00:46:18Do you want this thing to be a farce, a travesty, unconjugal bliss?
00:46:21Didn't you promise to love and cherish me?
00:46:24Well...
00:46:29All right, all right.
00:46:31You win.
00:46:32A signed statement that I'm not married to you, hmm?
00:46:35All right.
00:46:36I'll sign it in the morning.
00:46:37Now get home.
00:46:38No, we're going right down to the Chronicle office now.
00:46:40There's plenty of time for the late edition.
00:46:42But I've got to see my lawyer.
00:46:43I can't sign anything.
00:46:45Now.
00:46:46All right.
00:46:47And this better not be a gag, darling.
00:46:49Hello?
00:46:50Hello, Duffy?
00:46:51Listen, I'm bringing Sarah Farley right down to the Chronicle office.
00:46:54Yeah.
00:46:54Meet me there.
00:46:55You'll get her signed statement and a story to top all Farley stories.
00:47:09What are you in a huff about?
00:47:11I'm the injured party.
00:47:13After all, other reporters wrote things about you, too.
00:47:14Why pick on me?
00:47:15Because you pried into my personal life, wormed your way into my confidence, and then twisted everything I said.
00:47:21Well, it was my job.
00:47:26Well, I'm still hungry.
00:47:30It's occurred to me I could have used a sandwich myself.
00:47:34And there's a lunchroom up ahead.
00:47:36They say truck drivers always find the places that serve good food.
00:47:47You know, in a way, this has sort of been fun.
00:47:51Well, shall we go?
00:47:53No.
00:47:55I mean down to the paper.
00:47:56I understood you. I said no.
00:47:58Well, we've got to get there before the deadline. Duffy will be waiting for us.
00:48:00No.
00:48:02Sarah, you're not going to start this all over again.
00:48:04I'm not going.
00:48:06Don't shush me.
00:48:07Sarah, please.
00:48:08I've changed my mind.
00:48:14It's a fine thing.
00:48:16Every time I eat, you get richer.
00:48:22Let go of me, you monster!
00:48:24No.
00:48:25Don't you dare hit me!
00:48:26Why not? You're my wife.
00:48:27What's up, bud?
00:48:28Oh, it's just a little family argument.
00:48:29She's my wife.
00:48:30I am not.
00:48:31What?
00:48:32Repeat that.
00:48:33Louder.
00:48:34Listen, you're a witness.
00:48:35Are you going to stand there and let him hit me?
00:48:37Nope.
00:48:38They're married, Hoyman. It's legal. Don't mix in.
00:48:40Who is mixing?
00:48:43You smell nice.
00:48:45What you got on?
00:48:46I can get some for my wife.
00:48:50Oh, Sarah.
00:48:51Now, Hoyman.
00:48:53I'm chairman of the local, ain't I?
00:48:54I said we don't mix in.
00:48:56Now, wait just a minute.
00:48:57You keep out of this.
00:48:59I got a right to disagree, don't I?
00:49:01What about the bylaws?
00:49:02Gentlemen, please.
00:49:03Let's take a vote.
00:49:04What's the resolution?
00:49:05Do we got a right to mix in another union's troubles?
00:49:07That's the resolution.
00:49:08Get me to the sheriff's office.
00:49:10Please, gentlemen.
00:49:11Excuse us, lady.
00:49:12It's illegal.
00:49:12Influence the voting.
00:49:13Two-thirds vote or simple majority?
00:49:15Majority.
00:49:15I'd like some discussion on this subject.
00:49:17Point of information.
00:49:18Now, gentlemen, just a minute.
00:49:19He's calling you a gentleman, so answer him, stupid.
00:49:22Are you a member of the truck driver's local?
00:49:24Well, I...
00:49:25No.
00:49:26Well, then shut up.
00:49:28Oh, Sarah, I...
00:49:28Wait a minute, bud.
00:49:29We ain't even voted yet.
00:49:30No, but he's gone.
00:49:30Wait a minute.
00:49:31You started this.
00:49:32Now you can wait till we count the votes.
00:49:34If you don't let him...
00:49:34I'll let him go.
00:49:49You shouldn't have done it, Hyman.
00:49:51He was out of order, wasn't he?
00:49:53Well, you should have fielded the chair.
00:49:54Oh, you brute!
00:49:57Now, lady, is that parliamentary?
00:49:59I warned you, Hyman.
00:50:01It's purely jurisdiction, just like you said.
00:50:03Tom!
00:50:04You would have a glass jaw.
00:50:10Wake up.
00:50:12Wake up!
00:50:13What's the matter with you?
00:50:34I won't be long.
00:50:36Come on, get up there.
00:50:36Here comes his honor.
00:50:39I can't see why they have to get you up at all hours, Homer.
00:50:43I've got to do my duty, Martha.
00:50:44A regular crime wave we've been having.
00:50:50Court's in session.
00:50:51What's the charge, Sheriff?
00:50:52Disturbing the peace, rioting, drunk and disorderly, and assault.
00:50:55But this is ridiculous.
00:50:56That'll be five dollars for five days.
00:50:58But it isn't true.
00:50:59I was merely twenty...
00:51:00Not ten dollars for ten days.
00:51:02But I have a right to see a lawyer.
00:51:04Now it's twenty dollars for twenty days.
00:51:06And if you want to make it more, just keep on talking.
00:51:09But you can't do this to her, Judge.
00:51:11Don't you know who she is?
00:51:12Don't know and I don't care.
00:51:14Now it's thirty dollars for thirty days.
00:51:16But this is Sarah Farley, the grocery store heiress.
00:51:19Sixty?
00:51:19She'll take this courthouse and...
00:51:20Oh, Tom, stop it, please.
00:51:23I'll pay.
00:51:24How much is it?
00:51:26Sixty dollars, like the judge said.
00:51:28Well, I haven't any money with me, but if you'll let me use the phone.
00:51:32Lock her up, Dan.
00:51:35What's so funny?
00:51:36I was just thinking about you and your millions.
00:51:38I shouldn't think you'd laugh.
00:51:40But now I can't make that statement to your editor.
00:51:42It's too late for the morning papers, but I'll bail you out tomorrow in time to sign it.
00:51:45Why, you!
00:51:46None of that now. Come along.
00:51:48Take her away, Sheriff.
00:51:50Good night, Your Honor.
00:51:51And I want to thank you for restoring my faith in human nature.
00:51:53Wait a minute.
00:51:56Come here, boy.
00:51:58Who?
00:51:59Me?
00:52:00Me?
00:52:50Oh, give me land, lots of land, neath the starry skies above.
00:52:56Don't fence me in, let me rock.
00:53:01Why, Tom, don't you like my singing?
00:53:05I'm trying to sleep.
00:53:07On our honeymoon.
00:53:55I'm trying to sleep.
00:53:57Tom.
00:53:58What?
00:53:59I'm cold.
00:54:01If I could get it to you, I'd warm you up, but good.
00:54:05Darling, you have got a terrible disposition, haven't you?
00:54:21I'll tell you what I'll do.
00:54:23I'll give you my coat.
00:54:24Well, don't tell me under that rude exterior lurks the soul of a gentleman.
00:54:30That's not all that lurks there.
00:54:32Thanks, pal.
00:54:33You're welcome.
00:54:35You know, it could be a lot worse.
00:54:37Suppose we were really married.
00:54:40Uh-uh.
00:54:41My imagination doesn't carry that far.
00:54:43A lot of girls would be very glad to marry me.
00:54:45Well, I suppose if a girl kept the keyholes plugged up and looked under her pillow for microphones every night.
00:54:50I'll get this straight.
00:54:51It's the first time in my life I ever took an assignment like that.
00:54:53Why'd you take it, then?
00:54:57Well, I, uh, I like to ski.
00:54:59And I saw a chance to get a vacation at Sun Valley on the paper.
00:55:04Don't you ever do anything honestly?
00:55:06I did once.
00:55:07Never again.
00:55:08When?
00:55:09You remember that article you read in the cabin up there?
00:55:12Oh, yes.
00:55:13The bait for your filthy little trap.
00:55:17Well, I admit that's why I wrote it, but, uh,
00:55:19the funny part of it is that I turned it into Duffy just the way you read it.
00:55:23You're lying.
00:55:24No, ask Duffy.
00:55:26Well, listen, I'm not proud of it.
00:55:28No man likes it to get around, but he's soft in the head.
00:55:31He'd probably have fired me for it anyhow, even if you hadn't given out that story.
00:55:35And he'd have been right.
00:55:36A reporter's supposed to dish out facts, not moonshine.
00:55:40You shouldn't be so self-critical, darling.
00:55:42You should leave that to your wife.
00:55:44My wife?
00:55:46I've always wanted to be someone Severo's critic.
00:55:48Listen, you're not going back on your promise.
00:55:50You're gonna sign that statement tomorrow.
00:55:52How can I?
00:55:53Thanks to you, I'm stuck here for 60 days.
00:55:57You won't get out of it that easily.
00:55:58That lunatic of a judge will have to let us use the phone in the morning,
00:56:01and then you can call that gigolo of yours.
00:56:03Better yet, I could call the press.
00:56:05Can't you see the headlines?
00:56:07Tom, Tom and heiress, honeymoon in jail.
00:56:10Lovers, tiff, lands, glamour couple in the clink.
00:56:13You wouldn't.
00:56:14Oh, wouldn't I?
00:56:15Apparently your education hasn't been completed yet.
00:56:39Could I have a cigarette, Tom?
00:56:51It's the last one.
00:56:53Oh, one puff then, please.
00:56:56Well, you don't deserve it, but here.
00:57:00Ah, I'll hold it.
00:57:01I can't reach it there, Tom.
00:57:05Here.
00:57:06That better?
00:57:07Perfect.
00:57:09Ow!
00:57:10Ow!
00:57:10You cannibalistic...
00:57:11Give me back my cigarette.
00:57:13Give me that cigarette, do you hear?
00:57:15Give me back that cigarette right...
00:57:17Oh, I should have known better to trust you.
00:57:21Give me that cigarette.
00:57:22Give me that cigarette right now.
00:57:27I should have known...
00:57:29Judge!
00:57:30Judge!
00:57:32Cut out that racket.
00:57:35What's going on in here?
00:57:36What's all this noise about?
00:57:38She bit me, Judge.
00:57:39She bit you?
00:57:40How in the world could she...
00:58:03I don't know how you've done it, but don't do it again.
00:58:14Ten...
00:58:16Twenty...
00:58:17Thirty...
00:58:18Forty...
00:58:18Fifty...
00:58:19Sixty.
00:58:20There you are, Your Honor.
00:58:22Is that correct?
00:58:23Yep.
00:58:23And, uh, here's twenty dollars for you personally.
00:58:28Uh...
00:58:28Are you trying to bribe me?
00:58:30Oh, no, you're right.
00:58:31Emptured bribery.
00:58:32I'll fine you twenty dollars.
00:58:34Well, that's not my money.
00:58:35Let's go.
00:58:37Well...
00:58:41Right there.
00:58:42Now, don't crowd around, fella.
00:58:43Darling, what a terrible experience.
00:58:46It wasn't so bad.
00:58:47It reminded me a little of your chateau.
00:58:50Especially the plumbing.
00:58:51How about a safety?
00:58:54Well, we had a little disagreement.
00:58:56I'm sure you wouldn't want to pry into the reasons for it.
00:58:59But, Tom-Tom has apologized.
00:59:03And now you can say we're very, very happy.
00:59:06Is that true?
00:59:07Hey, Cynthia, do you want anything to say?
00:59:08No comment.
00:59:09How much is his bail?
00:59:12Sixty dollars.
00:59:13Pay it, Andre.
00:59:14She's going to bail you out.
00:59:15Boy, I wish I had a rich wife.
00:59:16No, she's not going to pay my bail.
00:59:18Why, Tom-Tom.
00:59:19Stay right here in jail.
00:59:21You'll meet a better class of people.
00:59:23How about a statement?
00:59:25You want a quote from me?
00:59:26Okay, then take this.
00:59:28Rather than accept one nickel of her tainted money,
00:59:30I'll rot here in jail for the rest of my life.
00:59:39My poor darling.
00:59:42In all my experience, I have never met a more frightful cad.
00:59:45Imagine turning down your generous offer.
00:59:47Can't you imagine it, Andre?
00:59:49Of course not.
00:59:50If the man were a gentleman.
00:59:51He'd have accepted my money.
00:59:53Yes, as a matter of simple courtesy.
00:59:55It's the first time anyone ever insulted me by turning down my money.
00:59:59Well, it just shows how far he'll go to demonstrate his hatred.
01:00:04Hatred?
01:00:07Do you think he really hates me, Andre?
01:00:09Well, naturally.
01:00:10You want him to hate you, don't you?
01:00:13Yes.
01:00:15Yes, of course.
01:00:16You can't really blame him.
01:00:18You've made him a national laughing stock.
01:00:21You're right, Andre.
01:00:22But now I...
01:00:25Now I think it's time to deny the story.
01:00:28As you say, I've accomplished everything I set out to.
01:00:31A very wise decision, my dear.
01:00:34After all, you can't go on pretending that you're married to him
01:00:36and then marry someone else.
01:00:38Someone who really has something in common with you.
01:00:57That's why I didn't show up with her. I got knocked out and thrown into jail.
01:01:01Every paper in town beat us to it again.
01:01:03But I couldn't call you. I tell you, I was locked up.
01:01:07Yes?
01:01:07Mr. Ketchel is here.
01:01:09That's gonna wait a moment.
01:01:09I've got a way out of this whole thing.
01:01:11I'm gonna prove I'm not married to her.
01:01:13I'm leaving town this afternoon.
01:01:14I'm going up to Maine or Canada or someplace.
01:01:16And I'm really going to get married.
01:01:17Let Sarah Farley charge me with bigamy.
01:01:19Married? Whom are you marrying?
01:01:21Jessica, of course.
01:01:22We'll come back with this whole thing licked.
01:01:23That Farley dame will just look silly.
01:01:25I'll keep in touch with you.
01:01:26And after the ceremony, just let me write the story.
01:01:28Jessica, that's rather drastic, isn't it?
01:01:30I mean, rushing into marriage is...
01:01:32You know, there might be another way out of this.
01:01:34Send Ketchel in here.
01:01:36There's the man to help us.
01:01:37Ketchel? How?
01:01:37He's a lawyer.
01:01:38Well, what of it?
01:01:39We can sue Sarah Farley and have the facts established in the court of law.
01:01:42No, you're not getting me in any deeper.
01:01:43I've had enough of this.
01:01:43Tyler, you've made this newspaper a laughing stock.
01:01:46News boys sneer at me as I go by.
01:01:48Why?
01:01:49Because every paper in town beat us on our own yarn.
01:01:51They did not.
01:01:52It's not true.
01:01:52I'm not married to Sarah Farley.
01:01:54That's what you say, but can you prove it?
01:01:56No.
01:01:56No.
01:01:56Now, you're responsible for this and you can repay me in some small measure for what you've done to me.
01:02:00Come on in.
01:02:01I'm married, Jess.
01:02:01Now, we can not only prove we were right and they fell for a gag, but we can get an
01:02:05exclusive story.
01:02:05Because you'll be the plaintiff and you'll be covering the story for us.
01:02:08Who are we suing this morning?
01:02:09Sarah Farley.
01:02:10Why?
01:02:11Won't you give him his allowance?
01:02:13Oh, very funny.
01:02:14Sarah claims she's Tyler's wife and Tyler's suing for libel.
01:02:18Do you mean to imply, sir, that this beautiful specimen of American womanhood, this veritable flower of ravishing femininity who
01:02:24represents how much?
01:02:25A hundred million?
01:02:26Merely claims that she's married to you and you want to sue her for libel?
01:02:29Don't make a campaign speech out of it.
01:02:31Now, you can sue for defamation of character, damage to his reputation and livelihood, holding him up to public ridicule
01:02:36and great mental anguish.
01:02:37How does it strike you?
01:02:38I don't know.
01:02:39Why don't you sue for divorce and get a fat settlement?
01:02:41Because I'm not married to her.
01:02:42Can we win?
01:02:43Well, if he's telling the truth, we can.
01:02:45He's been damaged all right.
01:02:47Damaged to the tune of a million dollars.
01:02:48I don't care about the money.
01:02:49Just get me out of that mess.
01:02:50We'll save our face and we'll get an exclusive on a great story.
01:02:53File suit right away.
01:02:54Draw up the papers.
01:02:55This gets you out of the nutcracker.
01:02:56Maybe.
01:02:57And maybe it'll be worse.
01:02:58More headlines about me.
01:02:59That's not getting me out.
01:03:00A legal decision will be better than this, won't it?
01:03:06I'd like to see Thomas Tyler, please.
01:03:08Name?
01:03:09Sarah Farley.
01:03:11Freddie.
01:03:14Miss Sarah Farley to see Mr. Tyler.
01:03:19Oh, right this way, Miss Farley.
01:03:28Just a minute, Freddie.
01:03:30I'll take care of this.
01:03:31What are you doing here?
01:03:33Are you making a career out of bonding me?
01:03:34Well, I just came to give your editor the statement.
01:03:37What?
01:03:38I'll sign the statement.
01:03:40You mean it?
01:03:42It's no gag?
01:03:43What made you change your mind?
01:03:45Oh, a lot of things.
01:03:46Your glass jaw and your gallantry and giving me your coat last night
01:03:49and sharing your last cigarette with me.
01:03:53And it suddenly stopped being fun, darling.
01:03:55I don't want you thinking I'm hard and vindictive because...
01:03:59Well, I wouldn't want anyone to think that.
01:04:02Oh, I knew I was right about you.
01:04:04That's what I told Duffy.
01:04:05That isn't what you wrote.
01:04:07No, but he didn't have a chance to run the last installment.
01:04:09That was the only one that was legitimate, on the level, and flattering too.
01:04:13Oh, what a relief this is.
01:04:14You're a great girl, Sarah.
01:04:16Duffy won't believe this.
01:04:17But I told him, I said you weren't the girl that we started to write about.
01:04:20I knew you'd come through.
01:04:22Sit down over here for a minute.
01:04:23I'll see if he's in his office and break the good news to him.
01:04:25Now, don't go away.
01:04:25I'll kiss you for this.
01:04:27In fact, I think I will.
01:04:50Miss Sarah Farley?
01:04:51Yes.
01:05:34Duffy.
01:05:35Look at this stuff.
01:05:37Everything was going fine till you hit her with that summons.
01:05:39Just bad timing, that's all.
01:05:40Anyway, we've tried to explain.
01:05:42We tried to apologize and she wouldn't listen now.
01:05:44She'll get what's coming to her.
01:05:45She'll get what's coming to her.
01:05:47Maybe you don't know what's happening.
01:05:48This morning an old lady came up to me on the phone.
01:05:50She took me on the street and hit me over the head with an umbrella.
01:05:52What for?
01:05:53She said she was doing it in the name of American womanhood.
01:06:33And now, Mr. Tyler, I'm certain that you would agree that you could hardly have forgotten such an important event
01:06:39as your marriage, could you?
01:06:41Do you have a good memory?
01:06:43I have a very good memory, Mr. Prosecutor.
01:06:45As a matter of fact, I recall that you asked me that same question about 20 minutes ago.
01:06:49I'm not a prosecutor, Mr. Tyler.
01:06:52I'm the legal counsel for the defendant, which you very well know.
01:06:55The plaintiff will refrain from further sarcasm, proceed with the examination.
01:07:00You remember everything that happened at Sun Valley, for instance?
01:07:03Yes.
01:07:04Do you remember falling off a dog sled and being knocked unconscious?
01:07:07Yes.
01:07:08Memory doesn't function during an unconscious period, does it, Mr. Tyler?
01:07:12I mean, if you were unconscious, you couldn't very well remember what happened while you were unconscious, could you?
01:07:18Nothing happened while I was unconscious.
01:07:20How do you know?
01:07:22Well, I...
01:07:24Nothing happened.
01:07:25Isn't it possible that while you were in this condition, you might have done quite a number of things you
01:07:30don't remember?
01:07:30I remember everything.
01:07:32Isn't it possible that after the accident in the sled, you visited the local justice of the peace?
01:07:37No, it is not possible.
01:07:39I've just told you I remember everything.
01:07:41And I resent your attempts to make me appear an idiot.
01:07:43Your Honor, do I have to stand for this?
01:07:45The matter of who is or who is not an idiot has not been brought into this action.
01:07:49The witness will answer the questions.
01:07:51By the way, Mr. Tyler, while you were serving as a war correspondent, were you ever wounded or injured in
01:07:57any way?
01:07:58Yes, but I assume that's no crime.
01:08:00Seriously enough to be hospitalized?
01:08:02Yes.
01:08:03Would you tell the court what was the nature of your injury?
01:08:07I was struck on the head by shell fragments.
01:08:09Which resulted in a loss of memory?
01:08:11Yes.
01:08:12But it was only temporary.
01:08:13Objection.
01:08:14This line of questioning is irrelevant and immaterial.
01:08:17It seems to me that whether or not the plaintiff had a good memory has a great deal of bearing
01:08:21on this case.
01:08:22The objection is overruled.
01:08:23Thank you, Your Honor.
01:08:25And now, Mr. Tyler, according to your deposition, it is your contention that you are the helpless victim of a
01:08:30diabolical plot on the part of the defendant.
01:08:32That is definitely my contention.
01:08:34It is the whim of this evil and designing woman to wreck your life.
01:08:37That's exactly what she's trying to do.
01:08:39Isn't it just the other way around, Mr. Tyler?
01:08:41Didn't you lure this young woman to a cabin in Sun Valley?
01:08:44I did not lure her.
01:08:46Well, did she invite you there?
01:08:48No, but...
01:08:49Then how did it happen you were there with her?
01:08:51Well, I wanted to be alone with her.
01:08:52Ah, you did.
01:08:54You wanted to be alone with her in the seclusion of a cabin in the woods where you subsequently...
01:08:59You're putting the wrong connotation on this.
01:09:01What other connotation could be placed upon it, Mr. Tyler?
01:09:05The truth.
01:09:05You're making it appear as though I had a personal interest.
01:09:07Whereas I was only collecting material from my articles.
01:09:10Nothing else.
01:09:10Now, Mr. Tyler, I ask you to look at the defendant.
01:09:14In your articles you described her rather flatteringly.
01:09:18Do you still agree that she has charm?
01:09:21I do.
01:09:22She's young and desirable?
01:09:24Yes, she is.
01:09:25Then she'd naturally attract the attention of most men.
01:09:28I suppose she might.
01:09:30And yet you maintain that while you were collecting material for your articles...
01:09:33The defendant was so overcome by your manly charms...
01:09:36Your magnetic personality and beauty...
01:09:39That without any encouragement from you...
01:09:41She dreamed of a fraudulent marriage to you...
01:09:44And threw her considerable fortune at your feet!
01:10:06And although you had never seen him before...
01:10:08You permitted him to enter the house because he said he was her husband?
01:10:11Yes, sir.
01:10:12I gave him the room adjoining hers.
01:10:14I was always put in the guest house.
01:10:16Was he still there when she returned?
01:10:19I don't know, sir.
01:10:20He gave me the night off.
01:10:22He assumed the rights of the man of the house?
01:10:25Yes, sir.
01:10:25Was he still there on the following morning when you brought up your mistress's breakfast to her?
01:10:30No, sir.
01:10:31But there were signs of a struggle or some unpleasantness, sir.
01:10:35Ah?
01:10:36What signs?
01:10:37Broken perfume bottle, sir.
01:10:40Did it look as if she had defended herself against violence?
01:10:43Objection.
01:10:44Presumption on part of the witness and leading question.
01:10:46I know where it's leading.
01:10:48So do I, Counselor.
01:10:51Objection sustained.
01:10:55And the plaintiff charged these purchases for the Farley account?
01:10:59$67.84, we estimate.
01:11:02And you permitted him to charge such a large amount?
01:11:05Well, he said he was her husband.
01:11:07Of course, I thought it was very odd.
01:11:09What was odd?
01:11:10Well, he said he was married to Miss Farley.
01:11:12Then he pointed to that woman there and introduced her as his fiancée.
01:11:26Having heard the accusations of the plaintiff, Mrs. Tyler,
01:11:30would you be kind enough to tell the jury your reaction to them?
01:11:33Oh, I forgive him.
01:11:35He doesn't really mean it.
01:11:37She forgives me.
01:11:39I think you deserve a lot of credit for your forbearance, Mrs. Tyler.
01:11:43Now, Mrs. Tyler...
01:11:45Objection!
01:11:45The defense counsel constantly addresses the witness as Mrs. Tyler to influence the jury.
01:11:50But she is Mrs. Tyler.
01:11:52We dispute that.
01:11:53We're here to prove that she's not Mrs. Tyler.
01:11:55Sister, it'll be stricken from the record.
01:11:58Perhaps you may address the witness as Sarah?
01:12:01Yes.
01:12:04Sarah.
01:12:05Now, Sarah, you met Mr. Tyler at Sun Valley?
01:12:09Yes.
01:12:10Can you tell us what happened at Sun Valley?
01:12:12Oh, it was just wonderful.
01:12:13Because we fell in love.
01:12:14Just like that.
01:12:16Just like that, eh?
01:12:18Now, Sarah, ordinarily a woman has too much pride to contest a lawsuit like this.
01:12:23Will you please tell the jury why you're contesting?
01:12:26Well, because I know he loves me.
01:12:30After all, he came to the Whitsun dinner party because he couldn't keep away from me.
01:12:33And if he had no emotional interest in me, he wouldn't have wanted to strike me.
01:12:39That's why he broke into the house at three in the morning.
01:12:42The woman knows about those things.
01:12:44He was so jealous of the Count de Guillaume.
01:12:47But even though he was in a jealous rage, he was so sweet.
01:12:50He went down to the kitchen and got sandwiches and milk.
01:12:54Well, I was hungry.
01:12:57Of course, he hates rich people.
01:12:59He blames me for having money.
01:13:01He does?
01:13:02He's the only man I've ever met who really isn't interested in my money.
01:13:09A man often reveals things without knowing it.
01:13:14I guess we both fell in love before we knew it.
01:13:17Well, Sarah, if he isn't interested in money and he loves you, why do you think he's suing you?
01:13:24Well, sometimes he's a heel.
01:13:28I object, Your Honor.
01:13:30Sustained.
01:13:31The question led to an opinion on the part of the witness and was so designed.
01:13:35However, it has become increasingly clear that there are rather unusual factors behind the testimony so far given.
01:13:43The court cannot disregard certain emotional implications which apparently have remained undetected by opposing counsel.
01:13:50Therefore, I shall ask both litigants and their attorneys to meet with me in my chambers.
01:13:54Meanwhile, the court will recess.
01:14:15Will you be seated, please?
01:14:17Be seated, please.
01:14:21It's not in the province of the court to interfere in libel actions, but this action basically is one of
01:14:26domestic origin, deriving from the marriage or non-marriage of the litigants.
01:14:30Now, it's always been my policy to attempt reconciliations in the public interest and because I'm just an old meddler
01:14:37with a sentimental streak.
01:14:39Now, everyone in the courtroom, including the jury, is fully aware that you two are eminently suited to each other.
01:14:47The way you look at each other and the way you smile at each other, you've got a good marriage.
01:15:00They're not married, Your Honor.
01:15:01Ask her where they were married.
01:15:02This is a conference.
01:15:03She's not on the stand now.
01:15:04Gentlemen, please.
01:15:05This is entirely off the record.
01:15:07It's a sort of a family affair.
01:15:09There's no courtroom procedure whatsoever.
01:15:11It's merely a matter of good manners and no raised voices.
01:15:16Well, where were we married?
01:15:18Well, off the record, at the courthouse at Three Forks, Idaho.
01:15:21Three Forks, Idaho.
01:15:22We can check that in about two hours, Your Honor.
01:15:24Well, unfortunately for all of us, that's impossible.
01:15:26You see, the courthouse burned down and the records were destroyed.
01:15:30That fire?
01:15:31Mm-hmm.
01:15:32Uh, Your Honor, I'd like to confer with my client.
01:15:34You may.
01:15:40But she...
01:15:42She's right.
01:15:44We can't prove a thing.
01:15:45We're late.
01:15:46Not yet we're not.
01:15:46Now listen to me.
01:15:50Your Honor, we're prepared to concede that it's possible Mr. Tyler did in fact marry Miss Farley.
01:15:55Uh, this concession, however, introduces certain other factors.
01:15:58Such as?
01:15:59Oh, merely routine matters.
01:16:01All to the benefit of the Farley Enterprises.
01:16:03In what way?
01:16:04Why, my client, being cognizant of his obligations as a husband, wishes to assume his duties in regard to the
01:16:09Farley interest.
01:16:10He'd like to see the financial statement.
01:16:12Uh, to protect his wife's interest naturally, he'd like to assume his position of authority and take active charge of
01:16:17the business.
01:16:17Take the money of the business!
01:16:19I nearly want to help.
01:16:20I don't need your help.
01:16:21After all, Mrs. Tyler, your husband's devoted to you.
01:16:24Devoted to you.
01:16:24His devotion will have you bankrupt in six months.
01:16:26Your Honor, the purpose of this suit is very evident now.
01:16:29This literary ne'er-do-well really wants you to validate this marriage so that he can establish his dowel
01:16:35rights in the Farley fortune.
01:16:36Oh, come now, Mr. Rice.
01:16:38Your Honor, this suit was brought to determine whether or not Mr. Tyler married me.
01:16:43He's admitted that he did, so I feel that my reputation has been cleared.
01:16:46I ask just one other thing at the court.
01:16:48And that is to clear my name.
01:16:51I want this marriage annulled.
01:16:53So soon?
01:16:53I only admitted to being married a few seconds ago.
01:16:55Perhaps you're being a bit hasty, my dear.
01:16:57Hasty?
01:16:58Oh, no.
01:16:59I'm just not quite bright.
01:17:01I really thought you were the one man who wasn't interested in money.
01:17:04But you're just a little more clever than the others.
01:17:06You'll...
01:17:07You'll cherish me, will you?
01:17:09You double-crossed and lied to me every chance you had.
01:17:13At Sun Valley, when I came to your office, and now, and I...
01:17:17Well, you can just go cherish somebody else's checking account.
01:17:23Well, Mr. Rice and I can discuss the terms of the divorce.
01:17:25I said annulment, not divorce.
01:17:27But on what grounds?
01:17:32Why, yes.
01:17:34On the grounds that they haven't lived together as man and wife.
01:17:37Could anything be simpler?
01:17:39Wait a minute. How do you know we haven't?
01:17:41After all, I was there.
01:17:42You may have been unconscious, but I wasn't.
01:17:45That has nothing to do with it.
01:17:46I deny the allegation.
01:17:47I deny everything.
01:17:48Just a minute.
01:17:49The procedure...
01:17:49The law is the law.
01:17:51You won't get away with it.
01:17:52You've got to find your husband conscious or unconscious.
01:17:54I'm still your husband.
01:17:55Quiet!
01:17:56There's been deception and trickery throughout this trial.
01:17:58Bailiff!
01:17:59The chambers of the court are not the place to settle domestic feuds.
01:18:02Bailiff!
01:18:03Nor is it the proper place to seek an annulment of marriage.
01:18:05Bailiff!
01:18:06I'm not only throwing this case out of court,
01:18:08but also the plaintiff, the defendant, and their attorneys.
01:18:12And I'm very disappointed in you, too.
01:18:26Your Honor.
01:18:28Bailiff!
01:18:29Your Honor, please.
01:18:30I want some advice.
01:18:31Bailiff!
01:18:31Bailiff!
01:18:32I gave you my advice.
01:18:34Only fools repeat themselves.
01:18:35I'm willing to take it now, but I'm being annulled.
01:18:37What can I do about that?
01:18:39You want her back?
01:18:40Yes, sir.
01:18:41You convinced me.
01:18:42But she wants to get that annulment.
01:18:44Well, well.
01:18:45So I convinced you, hmm?
01:18:46Yes, sir.
01:18:47My boy, I can't advise you personally, but if you want a judicial tip,
01:18:52the way to forestall a legal action is to remove the grounds.
01:18:57To remove the...
01:18:58Remove the grounds.
01:19:00The court's adjourned.
01:19:02I mean, good evening.
01:19:03Did you call me, Your Honor?
01:19:04Huh?
01:19:05Oh, yes, Bailiff.
01:19:06Good evening.
01:19:16Good evening.
01:19:20Miss Farley, I meet Mrs. Tyler.
01:19:23You were right the first time, Barrett.
01:19:25Miss Farley, I want to tell you that...
01:19:26In the morning, Barrett.
01:19:28Good night.
01:19:39Miss Farley, I got aizaas.
01:19:59Interesting!
01:19:59I had my favorite day, La, I'm Lookì‹œì£ .
01:20:08Oh, thank you.
01:20:11Hey, Brighton, it's only me.
01:20:12How dare you come in here?
01:20:15Get out or I'll call the police.
01:20:17You'll call nobody.
01:20:19I'm your husband.
01:20:20We haven't been a no.
01:20:21We'll see about that.
01:20:22We're going to settle this once and for all,
01:20:23and we're going to settle this now.
01:20:28How dare you handle me this way?
01:20:31Let me up.
01:20:31Not until you listen to what I have to say.
01:20:33I'm not interested in anything you have to say.
01:20:36Hey, help!
01:20:37Ow!
01:20:39You do that again, so help me and I'll...
01:20:40You're what?
01:20:42I'll tell you what I came up here to tell you.
01:20:44I love you.
01:20:48Well, there's no law against a man telling his wife he loves her, is there?
01:20:53If there is, there shouldn't be.
01:20:57Oh, Tom.
01:20:59I'm so glad you're not annulled.
01:21:04Just a minute.
01:21:04There's one thing I'd like to know.
01:21:06What really happened at Sun Valley?
01:21:08Did I marry you?
01:21:10That's something you'll never know.
01:21:12No, but I've got to.
01:21:14I mean, well, you know, if we have children, why...
01:21:17Well, it wouldn't be legal.
01:21:18Oh, all right.
01:21:20If you're going to worry about it, we'd better settle this.
01:21:22We'll get married all over again, just to keep you happy.
01:21:26Good idea.
01:21:27It'll keep the children happy, too.
01:21:29Good idea.
01:21:32Good idea.
01:21:36THE END
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