00:07Almost ready, Dad? We gotta get a little practice in.
00:10Just lacing up.
00:12Delay the game on Dad!
00:16Okay, Parker, if you want to be our ref, at least wait until we start playing.
00:21Welcome back to the ref.
00:23Technical foul!
00:30What are those?
00:37Those are shorts.
00:40It was a dark time in fashion before you were born.
00:45These are primetime Pete Rooney's lucky shorts.
00:48He wore them when he led Bridgewood to the state championship, so he's wearing them now.
00:53And when he talks about himself in the third person, it means primetime Pete Rooney's fixing to win.
01:01Yeah.
01:04Our town has a big two-on-two tournament where an adult teams up with a kid and, uh...
01:09No girls ever won.
01:11Till now.
01:15I was saying that I'm gonna be the first girl to win.
01:17Was that not clear without the bam?
01:19Yeah, okay.
01:20BAM!
01:21WHAT?!
01:22Okay, Dad.
01:23I've seen you holding the clipboard on the court.
01:26Now let's see if you can still play.
01:29Oh...
01:29I can still play.
01:32Check it.
01:34What?
01:35Oh!
01:35Oh no!
01:49Just a little rusty.
01:53Traveling!
01:55Traveling?
01:56Yeah, those tiny shorts are traveling right up your butt.
01:59Traveling!
02:08Traveling!
02:08I'm all right!
02:09I'm up with the sunshine.
02:11Traveling!
02:12I lace up my hat!
02:13Traveling!
02:14Slam dunk!
02:15When you're not, yeah, show me what you got.
02:19I'm under the spotlight.
02:22Traveling!
02:22I dare you come on and follow!
02:24You dance to your own beat, I'll sing the melody.
02:28When you say yeah, I say no
02:33When you say so, all I wanna do is go, go, go
02:39You, you, the other house of me, me
02:43The house I'll never be, the house that drives me crazy
02:49You, you, the better house of me, me
02:53The house I'll always be, the weevils know
02:58You're better in stereo
03:05This is tough
03:07No, it may not look like Bernard, but I am not particularly gifted in the sports department
03:14Trust me, it looks like it
03:19Oh, I am dying to kick that ball out from under you
03:25But you seem to have gotten yourself a bodyguard
03:31Parker, this is Bernard
03:32I entered a raffle at the mall to win a personal trailer
03:36Turns out it was for a personal trainer
03:39Trainer
03:39I do not need
03:43Joe, you need a trainer much more than you need a trailer
03:49I respectfully disagree, Treetop
03:52A trailer is like a bathroom on wheels
03:56The possibilities are endless
03:58A trainer can give you tips on fitness and nutrition
04:02But also make your lives happier
04:04And healthier
04:07I'm already happy
04:09And healthy
04:11Ish
04:13Joy, when I was your age
04:15I hated to work out too
04:17The ladies laughed at Bernard 1.0
04:27But the ladies love Bernard 2.0 much more
04:32I want the ladies to love me
04:40Well, at least you know that I'm alive
04:44I am a pathetic lump of clay
04:49Mold me
04:57Oh, hey, Lip
04:58Oh, sitting and reading
05:00I remember when I used to have time for that
05:05Yeah, it's a play that the drama club is doing
05:08And they offered me the lead
05:10Come on
05:11Your first role since sang it loud
05:20Yeah, please don't ever do that again
05:24It's a story about a working mother
05:26Who struggles to juggle her career, home, and kids
05:31I'm just really not sure that I can pull it off
05:33I have that same thought every day of my life
05:38But, like, do we really want to play a character
05:41Who is so overworked and haggard
05:45That she can even barely make it through her day?
05:50Well, that does sound terrible
05:53Was there another character in the play
05:56Who's single and doesn't have kids?
05:58Actually, her sister
05:59Play her
06:04Hey, Max
06:05Rehearsal any better with Dad today?
06:07Okay
06:08One
06:08It's cold practice
06:10Two
06:11Rehearsal was a disaster
06:12He's running slower
06:16He's shooting worse
06:17And somehow his shorts got even shorter
06:23Does this mean that you aren't going to be the first girl
06:25To win the pageant
06:27Tournament?
06:28I knew it was wrong the second I said it
06:31I'm certainly not going to win with Dad on my team
06:34What do I do?
06:36Okay
06:37Here is an exercise that I've done in the past
06:39Close your eyes
06:41And let's visualize the best possible solution to your problem
06:49Whoa
07:02Whoa
07:07Oh, yeah
07:08Live Maddie, this is Bernard
07:10My personal trainer
07:11He's going to get me all jacked
07:16Which he says means muscular
07:20Nice to meet you
07:21Um, where is the trash?
07:33Nice shot
07:35Thank you
07:35I played a little college ball back in the day
07:39But come on, Joey
07:40The gym is that way
07:45I gotta get you ripped
07:51Ripped
07:52Ripped
07:52That also means muscular
07:56Oh, okay
07:57The visualization thing has never worked that well before
08:01So
08:02That was the universe telling me to dump Dad, right?
08:06The universe is screaming at you to dump Dad
08:09That's right, this wave
08:10Okay
08:11Now close your eyes with me
08:13And let's visualize
08:16Ryan Gosling
08:22Hey, teammate
08:23Hey, coach
08:24I need to talk to you about the tournament
08:26Great
08:27I've been working on my jumper
08:29Getting my rhythm back
08:30What?
08:31Oh!
08:35So, Dad
08:35Um, you and I have had some really great times together
08:42Um, I just don't think that it's going to work out
08:46What are you saying?
08:50I'm breaking up with you
08:53What?
08:54Why?
08:55What did I do?
08:56I can change
08:57I can be better
09:00See, it's not you
09:02It's me
09:05But I'm your dad
09:07Right
09:07And I will always have a
09:11Special place in my heart for you
09:14But
09:15It's just time that I move on
09:17And I think in the long run
09:18This is going to be better for both of us
09:22Wow
09:23Wow
09:23I can't believe this
09:25I thought we were good together
09:27You and me
09:31This is awkward
09:34Dad, there's someone else
09:36Are you okay?
09:43Yeah
09:44Yeah, yeah
09:45I'm fine
09:46You know
09:46Just a little surprise
09:48But it's cool
09:49You know
09:49You do you
09:50I'll do me
09:55Maybe I'll just get a ride home with mom
09:58I think that would be best
10:03Thank you so much for agreeing to be on my team, Bernard
10:08Sure thing, teammate
10:09I'm so excited
10:11Now hit me up top
10:18How about I hit you up the middle?
10:21Okay
10:21Boom
10:22Now let's win this tournament
10:25Bam!
10:26What?
10:27Woohoo
10:30I like that
10:31Can I
10:31Can I give it a try?
10:32I mean, you know
10:33It's kind of my thing
10:35But try it
10:35Okay
10:39Bam!
10:41What?
10:41Oh
10:44You, my good sir
10:46Are a natural
10:47Bam water
10:57Just got to get a little
10:59Just got to get a little warmed up, right?
11:01Bernie
11:08I'm thinking
11:10More of like a
11:11Like
11:12Like one hand
11:18Yes
11:19I hit the backboard
11:22I am on fire
11:29Uh, uh
11:30Bernard
11:31Thought you said you
11:33Played in college
11:35I did
11:36In the National Trash Care Basketball Association
11:45We used to roll around our office chairs
11:48And shoot up
11:48Wadded up paper
11:52Uh, trash can basketball?
11:58Yeah
11:58Trash can basketball
11:59I won defensive player of the year
12:03Three years in a row
12:06Yes
12:07Okay
12:08I judged a book
12:09By its cover
12:10But come on
12:12It was a seven foot book
12:18Hey, mom
12:19I'm so glad you're here
12:20So
12:21I've been thinking about this role
12:23And I think I had it all wrong
12:25She's not a
12:26Taggart
12:27Broken down housewife
12:28She's a
12:29Super mom
12:30Who gets it all done
12:31And looks great doing it
12:33So
12:34To prepare for that role
12:36I think I know the perfect person to talk to
12:40That is
12:41That is so sweet
12:43Mrs. Reichschneider
12:44My German teacher
12:49The one with the live-in housekeeper
12:53Yeah
12:54Yeah
12:55Yeah
12:56Ask her
12:59Ask her
13:05Sliv
13:05I have a huge problem
13:07Uh
13:09I'm listening
13:10Okay
13:10It's just
13:11The thing with Bernard
13:12Hold on
13:13Hold on
13:14Mom
13:17Do you mind?
13:20More than you know
13:24Go on
13:25Okay
13:26I just
13:26I thought Bernard would be a better teammate
13:28But he's terrible
13:29Worse than dad
13:31Way worse than dad
13:33Are his shorts as bad?
13:36No shorts
13:37Are that bad
13:39The point is
13:40I'm not gonna win a tournament with Bernard
13:42So I need to figure out a way to
13:44Ditch him
13:44And get dad back
13:46Why would you want dad back?
13:48Because it's too late to get anyone else
13:53And because he's my father
13:55And I love him
14:00What am I gonna do?
14:01Oh I think you know
14:03Close your eyes
14:04And let's visualize
14:05The best possible solution
14:08To your problem
14:19Check it out
14:20I'm a fruit viking
14:21I'm a fruit viking
14:36All right Bernard
14:37Now I have set a fitness goal for myself
14:39Based on completely reasonable expectations
14:44I want you to make me into Joey 2.5
14:55Nice huh?
14:57I even have shoulders bigger than yours
14:59Nobody
15:00Has shoulders
15:02Bigger than me
15:06The only shoulder in the world bigger than this one
15:09Is this one
15:12Sorry
15:13But it's true
15:16Okay
15:16So what's the plan for today?
15:19All right Joey
15:20I want to determine your target heart rate
15:22We're gonna do some squats
15:24Some crunches
15:26And we're gonna jog a couple miles
15:30Oh
15:32What is that noise?
15:35Somehow you've exceeded your target heart rate
15:38By just
15:38Listening to me talk about exercise
15:43So
15:45We're done for the day
15:49Joey
15:49We haven't even started yet
15:53Now get ready
15:55To sweat
16:01This is fun
16:04Plus
16:05It's great cardio
16:07And it's easy on the joints
16:09Oh easy
16:11That is the word I've been looking for
16:15You can totally blast your quads
16:18And get a great core workout
16:20By just hopping from side to side
16:23Nah man
16:25I'm good just boinging in place
16:28Joey 2.5 doesn't boing in place
16:34You're done
16:35You're done
16:36You're done
16:36You paid your point
16:36You're done
16:37May I?
16:39Please do
16:51Hey
16:52Dad
16:52Can we talk?
16:54Sure
16:56Since it went so well the last time we did
17:02Look
17:03I made a mistake
17:05I think I finally realized that the whole point
17:09Was for us to win this tournament
17:11Together
17:14You're right
17:15That was the whole point
17:18Well
17:19Back to practice
17:21Really?
17:23I'm gonna go get changed
17:24Oh
17:25No no no
17:26Not with you
17:30With my new teammate
17:36Your new
17:37What mate?
17:41Diggy?
17:44Sup
17:45Rooney
17:46Oh
17:47Oh
17:47Oh
17:52Told you prime time Pete Rooney would find his rhythm
17:56Ring the alarm bells
17:57Cause I'm on
17:59Fire
18:03Wait but I'm your daughter
18:06How could you do this to me?
18:08Because Diggy knows not to stab me in the back
18:11Plus
18:12He's a great player with a solid jumper
18:14And
18:16Impeccable
18:17Fashion
18:17Sense
18:27If you were trying to psych out your competition
18:30Mission accomplished
18:48Sup
18:49Sup
18:49Diggy
18:51Okay
18:53Before you say anything
18:55I'm sorry that I teamed up with your dad
18:58And you had to see me in those shorts
19:03Relax Diggy
19:04I'm not upset with you
19:05You're not?
19:07Wow
19:08That's
19:08That's really cool of you
19:11You are being really cool
19:13Right?
19:15Way
19:16Cool
19:19It's just
19:20It's too bad though
19:22Whoa wait
19:23What's too bad?
19:25Oh you know it's just
19:27We're on different teams now
19:29And so we're enemies
19:30And I've sworn to crush
19:32All my enemies
19:35Are
19:36Are you saying that I can't play in the tournament with your dad?
19:40I would never tell you what to do
19:45Do you remember that one time that we went ice skating and I got cold?
19:50Of course
19:50That was the first time we ever hung out together
19:53You were so cute
19:54Yeah here's the scarf that you loaned me
20:01Okay
20:02Alright I'm really getting the feeling you're saying not to play in that tournament
20:07I'm not saying anything
20:09Here's a collection of every single note that you've ever left in my locker
20:12Okay
20:12Okay
20:16I get it
20:16I will find a way to get off your dad's team
20:21I mean
20:24If that's what you really want
20:34And I really want to play Coach R
20:37But
20:37Ah my arm just hurts so bad
20:39Cut down in my prime
20:43It's a tough blow to team short shorts isn't it dad?
20:47It sure is
20:49Let me ask you one question Mr. Smalls
20:52Would Maddie by any chance be
20:54Pressuring you
20:56I don't know
20:56To
20:57Fake
20:58This
21:00Ha ha
21:02That girl's no good for you son
21:06Dad you don't even like Diggy
21:08That's not true
21:09He's a fine young man
21:10Really sir?
21:11Stay out of it Diggy
21:13You leave Diggy alone
21:15No
21:15I'm the basketball coach
21:17You two
21:17Knock it off
21:24Now I don't know who started this war
21:26But I'm ending it
21:27Get in the kitchen
21:30Now
21:31No
21:41Awesome
21:42Yeah
21:42I really want you to dig in on this last session
21:46I feel like I've made a lot of progress
21:50Progress?
21:52Sure
21:59Progress
22:00He said prize
22:02Yokey
22:05Let's do this burn nasty
22:09Burn who?
22:12Burn that
22:13You're not ready for nicknames
22:15Not from you
22:17Good one Treetop
22:19Thanks P-Train
22:20Alright Joseph
22:23This is simple
22:24All you have to do
22:26Is run to me
22:27While fighting those resistance bands
22:30Piece of cake
22:33Everything
22:34Is not a dessert
22:36Run to me
22:41As though the walls
22:42Are chasing you
22:43Ooh
22:44Can I imagine a zombie?
22:48If you must
22:51Come on Joey
22:53Big Joey
22:54All you have to do
22:56Is touch my hand
22:57And you'll be Joey
22:582.5
23:02Yes
23:07No one can stop me now
23:13Bye bye
23:19Hey do you do birthday parties?
23:22My pals will really enjoy you
23:24Anytime P-Train
23:26Up top
23:32Guys
23:36A little help over here Treetop
23:41P-Train
23:43Help me burn nasty
23:50You two are so stubborn
23:52Can we at least agree
23:53There are more important things
23:55Than winning
23:58You two have been playing basketball together
24:01Since Maddie was five
24:03And now you're gonna let this
24:04Wonderful thing you share
24:05Tear you apart
24:06She started it
24:09I swear it's like you two
24:11Are the same person
24:12I know
24:16Shocking
24:16Now figure it out
24:22Is it possible
24:23There are things
24:24More important in life
24:26Than winning?
24:28Doesn't seem right
24:29Does it?
24:32I'm sorry I dumped you dad
24:35I'm sorry I dumped you back
24:40Are we supposed to hug now?
24:42My brother would play basketball
24:44Let's play basketball
24:49Hey
24:49Listen Diggy
24:51Um
24:51Maddie and I got back together
24:55Beat it
24:58That actually makes us less awkward
25:00I'm teaming up with the big man
25:03And if anyone's confused
25:07I'm the big man
25:11Just a warning Diggy
25:13That big man is a big mistake
25:15Yeah about that
25:17Bernard is a lot better with his goggles
25:41I'm so much better when I can actually see the hoop
25:47Good luck in the tournament
25:50Losers
26:09Honey I know it was hard to lose the championship game to Diggy and Bernard
26:13But the tournament's over
26:14You need to give it up Pete
26:16But we can win next year
26:18No no I made your Daisy Dukes
26:21Cause no one wins when you wear those
26:26Hey
26:26Prime time Pete
26:28Rooney's been practicing a lot
26:30And he's got his groove back
26:31He'd like you to check this out
26:38In your face old man
26:43Exercise this butt
26:45Thanks for having me
26:47Thanks for having me
26:48I'm ready to wash up
26:48Now
26:51We're going to do robots
26:52Thanks for a даль
26:53You got our foot
26:53I've beenweekend
26:53You got my foot
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