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Transcript
00:00Previously, unheated rivalry.
00:02Shane Hollander, I wanted to introduce myself.
00:04Okay.
00:05The two most talked about prospects in the world.
00:07Canada's Shane Hollander and Russia's Elia Rosanoff.
00:11It was Hollander and Rosanoff, right?
00:13We've seen each other a while.
00:14Yeah, Boston and Montreal play against each other often.
00:17What is your room number?
00:18This is such a bad idea.
00:20You're not going to tell anyone.
00:22There's no one to know.
00:23A lot of kids are going to be looking up to you.
00:25Where's your word, Rosanoff?
00:27My what?
00:27So what's my name going to be?
00:29Dreamed.
00:31How much pressure do you feel from the fans,
00:33from the hockey world in general?
00:35What was that?
00:35Not everything is about you, Hollander.
00:37What the fuck are you doing in public?
00:40No one is looking.
00:41You don't know that.
00:42Hollander, see you next season.
00:59You're in our way.
01:00You've got to see that.
01:02A sweet day.
01:05You could stay.
01:06We're in our way.
01:08Que los forever.
01:12Que los forever.
01:15Que los forever.
01:19Que los forever.
01:26Que los forever.
01:30Let's go!
01:58A golden star
02:00You think you're clever
02:02Good God
02:04She took a break
02:05Made a mistake
02:07When she made Trevor
02:11Get us forever
02:15Get us forever
02:19Get us forever
02:20You think I'm pretty
02:26You think I'm pretty
02:27You wanna fight me
02:29Close enough, one back out on the ice for Boston
02:31Tomorrow, little Boston
02:33Having a lot of games
02:35That's a big problem
02:36I give you magic things
02:37I hope you're gonna get out soon
02:40I really hope you're gonna get out soon
02:43Oh man, I hope you're gonna get out soon
02:48I really hope you're gonna get out soon
02:51I know you're at the light hushed over your phone like
02:58A tree atop a hill that's crooked from doing bad bites
03:06You say you're lost to seek all the power and the light
03:13You're lost to the relevant I'm standing in my light
03:21You're standing in my light
03:25You're sta-
03:34You think I'm pretty, you think I'm pretty cool
03:39You say you're scary, yeah
03:40I know most people do since the real world, honey
03:45In spite of everything, I guess there's just no city to
03:50Nice try, knock it out of the way
03:54Good job, just take a fucking hit
03:58I said I see up, you wanna be up, you wanna be
04:05Nice try, get out of the way
04:23Hey, if Rosanoff fucks you tonight, I'm gonna fucking back
04:29I think you mean fucks with, buddy
04:31I fucking mean what I mean
04:32You're burning a fake Rosanoff oxide right now
04:35The fuck does that mean?
04:37They do it to you all the time in Boston, you wanna see it?
04:39No, thanks
04:40Honestly, guys, it doesn't help me focus
04:42Yeah, maybe they'll be weird somewhere else
04:45I'm not even that weird
04:47Whatever you need, Captain
04:49Hey, Hollander, can you talk to NBC and some radio outlets in late time?
04:55Oh, Mr. Hollander
04:57What does Montreal have to do to win tonight?
05:00Well, hockey is a complicated, nuanced game
05:03But it would be helpful if we scored more fucking goals than the other team
05:07And how about that other team?
05:10Elia Rosanoff has been on a tear lately
05:11He had a hat-trick last week
05:13And he's almost caught up to you in the scoring race
05:15Wanna know what he had to say about that this morning?
05:16No, I'll listen if he actually catches up to me
05:18Thanks, guys
05:19Mm-hmm
05:20Mm-hmm
05:21Mm-hmm
05:37Mm-hmm
05:41Mm-hmm
05:41Mm-hmm
05:44Mm-hmm
05:45Mm-hmm
05:46Mm-hmm
05:47Mm-hmm
05:49Mm-hmm
05:50Mm-hmm
05:52Mm-hmm
05:52Mm-hmm
05:55Mm-hmm
05:55Mm-hmm
05:56Mm-hmm
05:57Mm-hmm
05:57Mm-hmm
06:59Shut your idiot face, Marley.
07:01You're straight up blushing, Russ.
07:02Well, no.
07:03Never in life have I blushed.
07:05Russians do not do this.
07:21You will murder me.
07:23Maybe.
07:25Get in.
07:30Why the fuck did you think it was okay to sex me before the game?
07:33What the fuck?
07:35You were hard, weren't you?
07:36For how long?
07:37The whole game.
07:39Such a fucking ass.
07:41Well, you missed me, didn't you?
07:42I fucking did it.
07:44And I still beat your ass.
07:46Oh, barely.
07:53Wow, nice place.
07:55Thanks.
07:57I bought it a couple years ago, but then this year I bought another one right next door.
08:04I eventually might turn it into one place, but for now I'm renting the next door one out.
08:08Mr. Businessman.
08:10Shut up.
08:11Mr. Landlord.
08:14You asked.
08:15No, I didn't.
08:29So what do you want me?
08:31In the kitchen, on the floor?
08:34Fuck you.
08:39Did your mom buy all these pillows?
08:41No.
08:42I hired someone.
08:44A designer.
08:47You think there is enough?
08:49Such an asshole.
08:52I think maybe you like it.
08:55I can smell the cigarettes from here.
08:57I had one.
08:59You shouldn't be smoking.
09:00You shouldn't be talking.
09:06Come here.
09:07No, you come here.
09:08No, you come here.
09:09No, you come here.
09:22It's the wound.
09:25It's the wound.
09:33Don't worry, it will fit.
09:47You think this will be enough.
09:49Fuck off.
09:58Where were you?
10:06Where were you?
10:16Please don't go.
10:24Please don't go.
10:28Oh, my God.
10:30Stay right here.
10:37He's okay.
10:46He's okay.
10:55He's okay.
10:56Close the door.
10:59Is he okay?
11:09It's you.
11:12It's you.
11:14Okay.
11:16It's you.
11:20It's you.
11:24It's you.
11:27It's you.
11:29It's you too.
11:34I'm sorry.
11:39It's you.
11:40I'm sorry.
11:44Oh my God.
11:52Are you...
11:54Are you...
11:55Oh, God, who owned her?
12:22Now the bed's all dirty.
12:25What?
12:27Shut up.
12:32I wish I would know, okay?
12:57You killed me in wonder.
12:59I'm dead.
13:01That was so fucking hot.
13:08Worth the wait.
13:23I should go.
13:26I should go.
13:32So, uh, obviously we won't see each other during the Olympics, right?
13:36Oh, right.
13:39Your family must be happy there in Russia.
13:44Yes.
13:45My parents are pretty psyched for me.
13:47They're pissed they can't come, but my mom is starting to wake up before I am to watch every game.
13:55I bet, uh, your parents will be there, right?
13:58My father, yes.
14:00Maybe my brother, but who knows.
14:03Cool.
14:04Anyways, I'm psyched.
14:06I've been dreaming about it my whole life.
14:08Dreaming of what?
14:09Ron's medal?
14:11Fucking wish, dude.
14:16Hey, uh, remember when I made you come hands-free?
14:19Don't fuck yourself, bro.
14:21It's not.
14:23Such a good drink.
14:25Your cab is definitely here.
14:32Okay.
14:37Bye.
14:46Welcome back to Man in the Crease, your all-star hockey podcast.
14:49For the first period, we are four days into this year's Winter Games,
14:53and there's already a contender for top story here in Sochi, Russia.
14:57What an embarrassing and too embarrassing year for the Russian men's hockey team.
15:01A hard pill to swallow on all mice, and especially for the young phenom Ilya Rozenov,
15:07chosen as his country's captain.
15:36All in there. What's up, motherfucker?
15:39Boys.
15:40Holy fuck, can you believe Russia?
15:41Be nice, Bonnie.
15:42Be nice, dude.
15:43I fucking lost Latvia.
15:44I mean, did you see that game?
15:45Yeah, it was a straight-up shit show.
15:46A debacle.
15:48Hey, what did Ross say about it?
15:50Uh, I don't know.
15:51Nothing to me, that's for sure.
15:53I think he knows Canada has this in the bag.
15:55Uh-uh.
15:56It's USA this year, baby.
15:57We're fucking coming for you.
15:58Okay.
15:58Trust me.
15:58You look great in Silver Vani, don't even stress.
16:00Oh, good one.
16:01Yeah.
16:04Does your room have that smell?
16:06Yes.
16:07Yes, it does.
16:08Is it black mold?
16:09Because that's what JJ thinks it is.
16:11Yeah.
16:11He's probably right.
16:12The good news is, we're not going to be here alone.
16:14All right, so tonight we can do the men's short-form figure skating.
16:16My buddy Joe is in that program.
16:17We train together.
16:19Would you guys be cool to do that?
16:21I'd love to show up for them.
16:22Hell yeah, man.
16:23Show up for any dude who's that brave.
16:26What do you mean?
16:29Well, I'm assuming your buddy might be gay.
16:32I mean, fucking brave for a dude to show up to a place like this and be like,
16:36Hey, here's me.
16:38Russia is not safe for folks like that.
16:41Fucking balls of steel, man.
17:07Yeah.
17:14Man, your buddy fucking killed it.
17:16Yeah, you did.
17:20I'm just going to find the bathroom.
17:40Hey.
17:46I'm not here.
17:47No, I'm not.
17:50I saw you up here.
17:51I wanted to see how you're doing.
17:52Fine.
17:54Go sit down.
17:58We...
17:59We are not anything.
18:01Go away, Holander.
18:09Are you okay?
18:11Please.
18:12Go.
18:13You didn't answer my text.
18:17No, I did not answer your boring text.
18:19Now you go.
18:22Fine.
18:23Fuck.
18:36You're welcome.
18:38You're welcome.
18:51You're welcome.
18:52You're welcome.
18:55You're welcome.
19:00You're welcome.
19:02You're welcome.
19:31You're welcome.
19:32You're welcome.
19:32You're welcome.
19:33You're welcome.
19:33You're welcome.
20:05You're welcome.
20:05You're welcome.
20:09You're welcome.
20:11You're welcome.
20:13You're welcome.
20:17We need to go to the table on the house at night.
20:24So I am going to meet him with the minister.
20:28Yes.
20:29You ready?
20:30All right, let's go.
21:04You're too much talking to me.
21:07You're my angel. You're too much talking to me, especially when it's about hockey.
21:14Only when we win, Papa.
21:16I'm going to go to a bar and he's going to give me a bottle.
21:21Look how she's behind me.
21:24From childhood.
21:27I'm an angel.
21:28It would be nice if I could remember it.
21:31I want to drink.
21:33I want to drink.
21:33I want to drink something interesting.
21:52There's Niki.
21:57It's been a long time, Sasha.
22:04I think you played well.
22:07I would like to say thank you, but I know that you didn't watch any other games.
22:12I want to drink.
22:16I want to drink.
22:19I want to drink.
22:32I want to drink.
22:35I want to drink.
22:36I want to drink.
22:37These crazy games, when you have a real chance to win this year.
22:41Is it true?
22:42Yes, it is true.
22:44The Hunt and Admiral won't go through New Jersey.
22:46New Jersey won't go through Holland and Montreal.
22:50I think you will win this year in Montreal.
22:53In this year?
22:54Yes, in this year.
22:55Because I think that Midka is traumatized.
23:00Where do you know all this?
23:02On the extrasense.
23:04With the Travmitted Bratars, you will not be able to get there.
23:07You've seen the team quite well.
23:11Listen.
23:12It's the Vostok.
23:13Then you'll win.
23:15You'll win whoever you want in the South.
23:18Chicago, not that before.
23:21In the final, most likely, will be San Francisco.
23:25They're good, but too young.
23:28So you'll win the Cubs of San Diego before I was talking about.
23:36I'm sorry.
23:37I'm sorry.
23:37I'm sorry.
23:38I'm sorry.
23:39I'm sorry.
23:39I'm sorry.
23:41I'm sorry.
23:42You're always looking at me.
23:43You're always looking at me.
23:44But you need to get up.
23:48We'll see you later.
23:50See you later.
23:54See you later.
23:57Well, what?
24:00How's your friend, Sasha?
24:03Wow.
24:05It's cool.
24:06I just love this place.
24:10Clubs?
24:12It's my head.
24:13Children.
24:15It's just nice.
24:18And the boys?
24:20Well...
24:21You've seen French boys?
24:25Yeah, Ilya?
24:31And the boys?
24:33Boze...
24:34I never know...
24:37You don't like a thing.
24:41You're a little, you're not joking.
24:43You're not lying.
24:44You're not flaring.
24:45You're not flirting with a answer.
24:48This is...
24:50...Rаньше...
24:51...you were more fun...
24:56...you remember?
25:08Here? Seriously?
25:11Seriously?
25:12It was dangerous. It was before you.
25:16If you remember, don't you remember me?
25:21We are the children, Sash.
25:26Yes.
25:28That's right.
25:33Stop it.
25:36Okay. Let's go somewhere else.
25:40No.
25:49Okay.
25:54Okay.
26:03Okay.
26:06Okay.
26:25What happens here?
26:26Yeah!
26:27Yeah!
26:29Yeah!
26:29Yeah!
26:29Just put them down. What?
26:31What am I supposed to do with this?
26:32I don't know. My mom told me to get by.
26:33Oh, my God.
26:37There's ginger ale on the pitch.
26:39Okay. Playoffs are over.
26:40You cannot keep the beer.
26:41That's not a rule.
26:41You just make that up.
26:43Hollander, is that a rule?
26:44Unfortunately, it is.
26:45Fuck you, Hollander.
26:46You can barely even grow one.
26:47No, no. Fuck you, Swedish inbred.
26:50Fuck you, AJ.
26:51Just fucking do it, Hayden.
26:52Stop!
26:53Boys, it's starting.
26:56Turn it up.
26:57It's game six and the cup is somewhere inside as we speak.
27:00You know that Ilya Rozenov wants this bad.
27:03Rozenov and the Raiders have been on fire since the Olympic break.
27:06A heartbreaking game for the Russians seems to have only intensified the young Boston captain.
27:11Ooh!
27:11He's on a tear, scoring ten goals over the past six playoff games.
27:15Okay, listen the fuck up.
27:19Look, I don't give a fuck how many goals I've scored.
27:23I don't give a fuck how I played two fucking nights ago.
27:26I don't need to think about that.
27:28That was yesterday.
27:29That was before.
27:31Now, I only need one thing.
27:35I need to win.
27:39Here, at home, tonight.
27:43As much fun as it would have been to go to California and humiliate them there.
27:47But I want to hear our fans.
27:49I want to hear them scream.
27:52I want to fuck San Francisco.
27:57I know you can do it.
27:58I've seen you fucking do it.
28:00I've seen every one of you do it.
28:03So leave it all the fuck out there tonight.
28:07Because this is our fucking night.
28:12This is our fucking cup.
28:15Fucking fuck San Francisco!
28:22Wait for it.
28:23We'll fuck you.
28:28I can't believe that asshole's about to win the cup.
28:32Shane hates him the most.
28:33What?
28:35You hate Rosanoff.
28:36Of course.
28:37But...
28:38He's very good at hockey.
28:40The best, probably.
28:41Eh, nah.
28:42You're the fucking best, Orlando.
28:44Okay?
28:45Not that animal shit show cock sucking Russian.
28:48Now that is that.
28:50The Boston Raiders are your MLH champions.
28:54What a comeback story this year from Ilya Rosanoff.
28:57Ah.
28:57The captain did absolutely everything in these playoffs.
29:00Leading his team in block shots.
29:02In shots.
29:03It ends.
29:03And obviously...
29:07Catch it now, Lamar!
29:31I'm literally hungry as it got...
29:37Wow, nice watch.
29:38I gave this to you for free.
29:39Where the fuck were you, Ron?
29:41Five seconds.
29:42Yeah, 25 seconds.
29:43What were you even doing?
29:46And now, presenting the Lord Tower Award.
29:49I was busy.
29:50Was who?
29:51Ilya Rosanoff and Shane Hall.
29:59But the most important thing
30:02is the friends we make along the way.
30:06Hey, before we give out next award,
30:09can I get a selfie with you?
30:11What?
30:12Come on, when will this ever happen again, buddy?
30:15Okay, fine, but hurry up.
30:24Great.
30:25Give me your number, I'll text them to you.
30:27No chance.
30:29And the Lord Tower Award
30:31for most sportsman-like player
30:32goes to...
31:18What the fuck do you want, Rosanoff?
31:22You haven't answered a text from me in like six months.
31:26You won't even acknowledge I exist unless there's a fucking camera pointed at us and
31:29then it's for some fucking clown show.
31:32So yeah, what the fuck do you actually want from me?
31:37Well?
31:41I want you to suck my dick.
31:43Oh, fuck you.
31:44You are unbelievable.
31:45You suck my dick.
31:59Maybe you ask nicely.
32:07Hmm?
32:09Please.
32:14If you want me to get on my knees on this filthy bathroom floor and suck your dick, you
32:19will have to ask nicer than that.
32:24Please get on your knees on this filthy bathroom floor and suck my dick.
32:33Please.
32:44None.
32:48What?
32:50No.
32:53We will go back to our seats, watch the rest of this boring show, and then go to boring
32:58party after.
33:01And then we might have been waiting all night.
33:04You'll come back to my hotel room and I will maybe, maybe, do more than just suck your dick.
33:15When did your English get so good?
33:19I, uh, I read the New Yorker now.
33:22Really?
33:23No.
33:24The New Yorker is boring.
33:28My dad loves it.
33:30Ah.
33:31So being boring is, is genetic.
33:35Wow.
33:36Genetic.
33:42Let's make a deal.
33:44If you win MVP tonight, I will blow you, fuck you, whatever you want.
33:52And if you win?
34:11Good luck coming.
34:12Good luck coming.
34:13Good luck coming.
34:27You're gonna be on line.
34:29I'm in this position.
34:30I'm in this position.
34:32We're in the last place.
34:36I'll show you this way.
34:58Congratulations.
35:01Now take off your clothes.
35:04You're such an asshole.
35:07You're such an asshole.
35:50What?
35:53Just a lot of windows.
36:17good now get on the bed
36:26this is a good hotel very nice vodka it's hard to find in america okay
36:36touch yourself what show up for me i want to watch you
36:40you what it's my special day hollander i want to watch i've never no shit fuck you
36:49give me some vodka at least no no no vodka is for after it's your reward
36:55so
37:29do you want to know how it feels how it feels holding the cup you
37:37fucking i can barely describe it oh my god hollander
38:03are you gonna fuck me we will see
38:09i need you
38:13what you know tell me
38:19you
38:25i need you
38:26i need you
39:26So Russia this year was something else.
39:34It's intense there.
39:41So are you heading back soon?
39:44Back.
39:45To Russia for the summer?
39:49Oh, yes.
39:57Why?
39:59What do you mean, why?
40:02Do you have to?
40:05There is no have to.
40:06It's home.
40:09Yeah.
40:12But I don't know.
40:13Is it safe?
40:16What do you mean, safe?
40:18I don't know.
40:21Do you even like it there?
40:30What difference does it make?
40:32A pretty big one, I think.
40:40I need to sleep.
40:43Oh.
40:45Yeah, me too.
40:46I should have.
40:56So, I'm off.
40:59Goodbye, Hollander.
41:30Let's go.
42:30Let's go.
43:00Let's go.
43:30Let's go.
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