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00:00I think 72% of girls don't do something because they're worried about the way that they look.
00:05There's a psychological phenomenon called the spotlight effect.
00:12In this week's episode, I have Roxy Nafuzi. She is a self-development coach, a speaker,
00:17and the queen of manifestation. Her newest book, Confidence, offering eight practical,
00:22powerful steps and tools to help you to stop doubting yourself.
00:24I've just started dating. Have you? And nothing brings out your insecurities like dating.
00:30Lack of confidence could also potentially come from self-obsession. And I'm saying this all from
00:36a personal point of view. There's such a feeling of empowerment when you are able to recognize what
00:41you need, what you won't stand for, and honoring yourself. I'm Radhi Dablukia, and on my podcast,
00:46A Really Good Cry, we embrace the real, the messy, and the beautiful. Providing a space for raw,
00:52unfiltered conversations that celebrate vulnerability and allow you to tune in to learn,
00:57connect, and find comfort together.
00:59Roxy, thank you so much for being on this podcast. I appreciate it so much,
01:04and I'm so happy that you're here.
01:05Oh, thank you so much for having me. I've honestly been so excited to see you.
01:09Me too. And for anybody who doesn't know, me and Roxy have known each other for how many years?
01:13Oh, God. A good few.
01:15A good few. Yeah. And I feel like I've been such a fan of you online. And then when I
01:18got to meet you
01:18in person, I just felt that same genuine energy. And I felt like we just had been friends for such
01:23a long time. Yes. Yeah, me too.
01:26I've been reading your book, Confidence, and I have to say, it has been such a beautiful read.
01:31I felt like I got so many personal reflections from it. But even reading it as someone who was
01:36about to interview you, it made me think of how many people are going to benefit from it,
01:41but at every single age group. And I think sometimes in a book, that's really difficult to hit
01:45because usually you get a target audience. But I feel like confidence is something you can struggle
01:50with from five years up till 95 years old. So thank you so much for creating this wonderful piece
01:56of art. Honestly, that means so much. And I think, you know, you're so right. When I think about
02:02confidence, I think the first thing that always comes to my mind is that the pursuit of confidence
02:07and the need for confidence is such a universal thing. And whenever I do workshops, you know,
02:13I'm in front of a room of, let's say, thousands of people. And I always say to them, like, who
02:18here
02:18can honestly say that they are free of all self-doubt? Who is like truly confident in who
02:23they are? And nobody will raise their hand. And it's really funny because as humans, I think that
02:30we think that our insecurities or our journey with low self-worth is such a like solo pursuit.
02:35We think that we're the only ones in it. And yet the person next to us is battling the same
02:41things. We just don't tell each other enough. Yes. And so we don't realize that it's something
02:46that we're all in search of. It's so true. And with everything that you've been through in your
02:51life, and obviously you've just written a book on confidence, would you say at this point in your
02:54life, you feel like you're a confident person? Yeah. You know, that's so nice to be able to just
02:59say yes, you know, in that situation, in that question. Yeah. You know what? Honestly,
03:04I really can't tell you how much I have loathed myself all of my life. And I don't remember,
03:13I think probably when I was, and I always say this, like all kids like are born confident,
03:18right? And I, and I talk about it in the book that kids generally, if you look at young children,
03:22they are full of self-worth. They're not self-conscious. Little kids are walking around
03:27the supermarket as Elsa or Superman, and they don't, they don't care who's watching. Like they're
03:32so happy to express themselves in all the ways that they want. And then essentially like life
03:37happens to us. And for whatever reason, whether it's because of our caregivers, our friends, our
03:42teachers, society, essentially, we all come to believe that we're not enough as we are. And I
03:49definitely came to that belief very, very early on. And because of a series of many, many different
03:54events, that belief was so compounded and I lost all my sense of self. And I just felt so deeply
04:02unlovable and spent my teen years trying to mold myself into what other people might want from me
04:09or what made me likable and, and still didn't figure it out. And then found drugs and alcohol,
04:15which is the quickest way to find false confidence. And that just made things worse because then comes
04:22addiction and shame and guilt. And then when all that came away, when I was pregnant with Wolf,
04:29I had to suddenly give everything up. And what was revealed to me was the kind of depth of my
04:35self-loathing. And that really was the hardest time of my life without doubt. It was, every day was like
04:45such a struggle to just get through to the next minute. And it was, it was literally for me like
04:50a mental prison. And it all came down to this like deep self-hatred. You know, I felt I was
04:56disgusting.
04:56I felt I was monstrous to look at. I was a loser. I was, and it was just such a
05:04dark time. And I think
05:07I've only once ever talked about it. I won't go into like loads of detail now, but what I developed
05:12really, really severe body dysmorphia disorder, which is an anxiety disorder that is a form of OCD.
05:19So it's repetitive, uh, looping thoughts of like severe self-loathing and there can be tracking
05:24behaviors. And BDD is something that I think is more common than people realize, but people are
05:30very scared to admit when they have it because they think that it's about vanity and it's not,
05:34it's an anxiety disorder, just in the same way you would have an OCD or, um, or an eating disorder.
05:41And the BDD is for anyone that's experienced it, it is, I so was not expecting to speak about this,
05:50but anyway, it's so utterly exhausting. Uh, it's, it's, there's no, you, your brain doesn't stop.
05:56All you, all I thought about every minute of the day when I wasn't working was how disgusting I was.
06:02Really?
06:02And it plagued all my life. I stopped seeing friends. I stopped leaving the house. Even when
06:08we're in COVID and, you know, you can meet up with people for walks. I couldn't because in my head,
06:12if I met someone for a walk, all they would think about was how disgusting I was.
06:16And so, and I, I was convinced of it. So my journey to recovery and to finding self-worth,
06:23not just overcoming the body dysmorphia, but also feeling confident in who I was, was
06:28such an important one for me because as I was, you know, I'd launched a manifest in my career,
06:35I was growing, I was succeeding. I had confidence in that, but there was still this hole within me
06:40where I didn't feel fully worthy. And I knew that, uh, you know, for me, the crux of manifestation
06:46is self-worth. So for me to manifest as powerfully as I could, I needed to heal. So I, I
06:51made a really
06:52conscious decision that I needed to enjoy my life as much as possible. And I'd never be able
06:57to enjoy it if I didn't love myself like to the most that I could. So I went on this
07:03journey.
07:03And so now when I'm asked this question, like, are you confident? I can't tell you how grateful
07:10and how proud I feel to be able to say, yes, I actually really like who I am. And I
07:15really,
07:16for me, the death, one of my definitions of confidence is being able to walk into any room
07:21completely and utterly yourself and walk out of that room, not worrying what everyone else thought
07:25about you. Yes. Great definition. And I feel like now I can do that. I can walk into a room
07:30and it's a feeling. It's like a feeling of just like, you just feel grounded because you can walk
07:38in there with an ease because you're not preempting. What if this person doesn't like me? What if I mess
07:45up? You're just like, you know, I'm safe to be who I am and know that that's enough. So that
07:50was the
07:50longest answer ever. No, that was such a beautiful answer. Thank you for sharing all of that. And do you
07:55think that, you know, we spoke about, you said how children you believe are born with confidence
08:00and then things happen in life. Would you say for most people it's a singular moment or do you think
08:06there's something in our mind that we start creating through the experiences that we're having? And what
08:12was it like for you? Was it a singular moment or was it, wow, there were so many things in
08:16my life that
08:16just kept knocking my confidence and I wasn't bouncing back from it? I think it can definitely be lots of
08:22moments put together. Look, for some people, there is one really significant trauma that happens that
08:28you could look back and say that was definitely the moment that impacted how I felt about myself.
08:35But for most people, it's lots of little moments. It's something that somebody said at school across
08:40the playground. It's, you know, I think even as parents, I can talk about it in the book, parents
08:46can think they're doing something good. Like if they always tell their children that they're pretty or
08:50they always tell them that they're clever, actually that you can think that's a good thing,
08:54but actually the child then pins all their worthiness on that identity. So then they think,
08:58oh God, well, if I'm not clever or if I don't pass my exams, then what am I? Where have
09:03I got my
09:04worth from? So there's loads of different ways that it can happen, I think. And, you know, I think part
09:09of
09:09it is like we are wired to need to belong. And from an evolutionary perspective, that was where our
09:17safety came from to be part of a tribe. And if I look at Wolf, you know, having kids is
09:21a great
09:22sort of way to like view our minds. It's an experiment, isn't it? It really is. And when he
09:29started school, I mean, he was about, just turned five and he refused to wear the Spider-Man hat I
09:35bought him. And I kept him being like, you love Spider-Man. Like I got you a Spider-Man hat
09:39for
09:39Sainsbury's. Why aren't you wearing it? And eventually he was like, I'm scared the other
09:44boys will laugh at me. And that, you know, where has he learned? That's not a learned thing. It just
09:50seems that somewhere as you start entering this new stage of life, we do start to become more aware
09:56of where we stand socially. And I think that's just part of evolution. I think that we all have it,
10:05but how that impacts us is depends on so many different factors. I was thinking when I was
10:11reading the book of the word confidence and I broke it down into confide in and what you were
10:17just saying where you, you knew that to be able to actually show up in the world, you really had
10:21to
10:21love yourself and believe in yourself. And that's really in my mind. I'm like, that's what confidence
10:25is confiding in yourself. You should be able to look internally and think I trust in my own voice.
10:31I trust in my own abilities. I believe in them, but I guess what do you, how do you think
10:37you can
10:37differentiate between confidence and arrogance or confidence and being cocky? Oh my God. It's such
10:43a good question because I think that one of the barriers that we actually have to confidence is
10:49that we are afraid of coming across as arrogant. So true. And especially, I would say this is very
10:55much for women. So I talk about it in step five, celebrate yourself. And it might be step six. I
11:02don't know. I can't remember. But in this step, celebrate yourself, I talk about this because
11:08one, what we've done is kind of across cultures, we really glorify, um, humility, right? And being
11:15humble is one of like the most desirable traits, you know, it's what makes you a good person or
11:21likable. And yes, being humble, of course, is a really important trait to have. We want to,
11:27it helps us to grow and, um, you know, to, it, it, it helps us to ground us, right? And
11:34be willing to
11:35become better people, um, and to be kind to those around us and being humble is good, but
11:41so often we take it too far and we become self-deprecating and we can't accept compliments
11:47compliments and we can't accept praise from others and we can't praise ourselves and we
11:53can't speak highly of ourselves. We start small businesses and we're too scared to shout about
11:58on social media. We pass our exams and we don't want to celebrate it because we just say it was
12:03luck or do you know what I mean? And so this like desire to be humble, kind of, we take
12:09that too far.
12:09And then on the other hand, we have this great fear of becoming across as arrogant. And part of this,
12:15I think is a bit of social conditioning because quite often confident people are labeled as
12:21arrogant or up themselves or cocky. And sometimes I think that's really doing a disservice to people
12:28who are confident. And really, I believe that those judgments come from probably a place of,
12:34it comes from a wound, you know, it comes from a place of, I kind of secretly maybe wish I
12:39had that
12:40confidence and that's natural. And that's not to pass judgment on anyone. I've done it plenty of times
12:44where I've gone, oh, they're so arrogant. And actually, are they arrogant or am I just a little
12:49bit envious of their confidence? And actually, I can use that envy to show me what needs healing,
12:54right? To show me that what I want more of. But arrogance and confidence, and it's so important,
12:58I have a whole chart in the book to differentiate them. Like, they are not the same thing.
13:04Arrogance is really about needing to be the best in the room. It's about needing to see yourself
13:10as superior to others and needing to put others down to make yourself feel better.
13:16Confidence is knowing that you are a work in progress, but also being sure of who you are.
13:24It's about loving yourself whilst also being able to admit that you're not perfect and that being okay.
13:31And I think they're so, so different. And I often say it's like, if you're worried about being arrogant,
13:37you're probably not. Because arrogant people don't have that self-awareness.
13:42So yeah.
13:43And, you know, I think about when you were talking about going into a room and I find the people
13:48that end up wanting to shout the loudest or speak about themselves the most or say it in a way,
13:54you can always feel the energy behind what someone is saying.
13:56Yeah, yeah.
13:57And I think when you end up trying to be humble, most people end up being falsely humble.
14:02But you can also feel that when you're like, no, I don't really want you to compliment me.
14:07But really, most people do like compliments.
14:09Yeah.
14:09And I think when you realize that your humility or what you keep saying negative about yourself
14:15is actually stopping your success, that's a sign that humility isn't actually working.
14:19Yeah.
14:19Because I find humility should be something that still helps you progress in your spiritual path,
14:24in your work, in every aspect of your life.
14:27But if you're being humble and it's stopping you from accepting, growing and becoming a
14:33better person, then you probably need to rethink and see maybe this isn't actually humility.
14:38And I need to rephrase how I say things.
14:40I think self-deprecating language is just so common.
14:44It's just constantly, even if someone compliments your outfit, somehow you find a reason to say,
14:50no, it's not really that good.
14:51Oh yeah, I got it on sale.
14:52We were talking about it yesterday.
14:53We walked into, I was doing a recording in a Lucy, someone said, oh, I love your boots.
14:59And she was like, oh, they're only Primark.
15:00Yeah, exactly.
15:01And someone else said, oh, Lucy, you always do that.
15:03Stop saying that.
15:04Like just be, and so I have this like tool for people to use actually.
15:08So when people, and I share it both in manifest and confidence, because I love it so much.
15:12But when people give you a compliment, how you respond is a really reflection of your relationship
15:18with humility and self-celebration.
15:20And so what I challenge people to do is when someone comes to you and they say,
15:24hey, you did amazing that presentation, or, oh my God, I loved that video you put on Instagram.
15:29I love, you look amazing today.
15:31Whatever it is, rather than pushing it away or saying, no, I didn't, or downplaying it.
15:35I want you to just pause, take it in, like really allow yourself to hear it,
15:39and then respond with those two magical words.
15:42I know.
15:43Just say thank you.
15:44That's it.
15:44And it's so much less annoying also, because you know, when someone gives you a compliment,
15:47they're like, no, you don't.
15:48And then you have to be like, no, you do.
15:50Yes.
15:50It's like, oh my God, I shouldn't have bothered.
15:52It kind of doesn't allow the cycle of that conversation to be full circle.
15:58So, you know, when they say if someone gives you a gift and you don't actually receive it well,
16:02the cycle of giving and receiving isn't completed.
16:05Yes.
16:05And so the person who is actually giving you something is giving it to you in excitement,
16:09whether it's something physical, whether it's words, or whether it's energy or emotion.
16:12And then if you literally push it away from yourself, you're essentially pushing away something
16:19that they're trying to give you.
16:20It's so true.
16:21It's like if you give someone a gift and they're like, oh, you shouldn't have.
16:24And you're like, do you know what?
16:24I would have loved you to just say thank you.
16:26Yeah.
16:26It would have been so nice.
16:28And you're right.
16:28It's so exciting, gift giving.
16:30Yes.
16:31A compliment is a gift.
16:32Exactly.
16:32Yeah, yeah.
16:32I love that.
16:33That's so true.
16:34And the thing that you said about, I feel with confidence, so much of when I reflect in my life
16:40and I was reading the book, and I still think I'm working through a lot of the different
16:44things that allow me to feel full confidence in different areas of my life.
16:49But a big thing that changed it for me was when I started thinking about what I have,
16:54the skills, the attributes, the way that I look.
16:56Every single part of me has been a gift from God or from the universe to me.
17:02Yeah.
17:03And when you think of it like that, everything can feel, you can receive praise for it because
17:06you then don't have to necessarily take it on as, this is me and it's building my ego
17:11and I'm going to become arrogant from it.
17:13You think, yeah, actually, I am so grateful for it.
17:16And so saying thank you and accepting it is actually you accepting it as a way of showing
17:21gratitude to whoever you feel has given it to you.
17:24I love that.
17:25And I think that helps with that mindset of changing it from, oh no, don't compliment
17:30me.
17:30Oh, actually, yeah, I am so grateful for this.
17:33Yes.
17:33And so thank you so much for recognizing that in me.
17:36I love that.
17:36Do you have, you know, on the days that you, I'm sure confidence still ebbs and flows
17:41depending on what you're doing.
17:43And on those days that you're feeling a little bit lower, do you have like an SOS confidence
17:48kit?
17:48Like the things that you go to in the moments that you are finding yourself spiraling
17:53downwards or not feeling great about yourself?
17:55Do you know what?
17:56Yeah, I'll start.
17:57I've just started dating.
17:58Have you?
17:59Nothing brings out your insecurities like dating.
18:02I know.
18:03Oh my gosh.
18:04It's been a long time since I've been dating and, you know, really the last time I was
18:10dating was like seven years ago, right?
18:11And like properly.
18:13Yeah.
18:13And who I am now is like so different to who I was then.
18:17So I'm in a much better place.
18:19I'm really independent.
18:21I'm like, you know, very like spiritually evolved since, you know, back then.
18:25And yet still I noticed like, oh gosh, like this feeling of like, am I enough is coming
18:32back.
18:33And so for me, it was really a lot for me.
18:36It's like on the days where I have those like wobbles.
18:39Firstly, it's about like really being aware of your thoughts and not attaching to them.
18:44So for me, what I used to do, I think, is have a thought attached to it and let it
18:48spiral.
18:48Whereas now I can be like, where is that thought coming from?
18:53Where is the not enoughness really coming from?
18:56And for me, this is like the first step of any change of self-development.
18:59And actually it's a constant practice.
19:01And so I'm really, I love like self, like dissecting my own past and giving myself that
19:09kind of therapy by journaling or just doing it in my thoughts and just saying, okay, yeah,
19:13actually what relationship am I taking myself back to?
19:16And so that for me, it doesn't sound like a really simple tool, but it is when you're
19:20in the practice of it, because you're just constantly being able to question your own
19:23thoughts rather than just like take them as facts.
19:26The other is that I genuinely have got myself into a practice of changing my inner voice
19:33from, I call it in the book, from the inner heckler to the inner cheerleader.
19:36And so I have this journal and every morning, one of the prompts, it's my manifest daily
19:42journal.
19:43One of the prompts is a motivational message from your higher self.
19:46Oh, that's lovely.
19:47And so this took practice.
19:48So at the beginning, I used to write like, you got this, you know what I mean?
19:51Like quite generic.
19:52And then I started writing things like, hey, you really deserve to feel the joy from today.
19:58You've worked so hard for this.
20:00Or I know you're feeling I'm a bit low today, but I promise this will pass.
20:05And just remember how much you've achieved.
20:08And actually, I've got comfortable with that voice.
20:11And so much of change is about finding a new place of comfort with the way that you speak
20:16to yourself.
20:17And so it really is a practice.
20:19And so I'm always trying to think, what is like a kind of perspective?
20:23Or what is a kind of thing I could say to myself in this moment?
20:27And that's been really helpful for me.
20:29Do you think people always have to go backwards and figure out the root of their issues before
20:35being able to move forward?
20:36Yeah, I do actually.
20:38Because every meaning, all the meaning we attach to every experience we have is currently being
20:44viewed through a lens.
20:46And this lens is made murky from our current state of mind, our belief systems, our wounds,
20:55our past.
20:56And I truly believe that unless we process and figure out what lens we're looking at
21:04things through, we'll never be able to clear the way.
21:06Like we'll always be controlled by our past.
21:09You're kind of building on top of a broken foundation.
21:11100%.
21:12And I think that it is, I used to really be, oh, like, what's the point in looking back?
21:18I just want to look forward.
21:19Yes.
21:20You just can't.
21:20No.
21:21It will always have a hold over you unless you let it go.
21:24Like, even, I'll share an example with you.
21:26Okay.
21:26So I had this really stressful two weeks at work.
21:29And part of the stress was coming from that some people really let me down at work.
21:33And it made me feel so angry.
21:36I felt so frustrated.
21:38I felt so disappointed.
21:39And all I wanted was an apology.
21:41I just wanted them to take accountability.
21:43And I'm Aaliyah, so I forgive instantly, right?
21:45Aaliyah, yeah.
21:45So if someone says sorry, forgive.
21:47We're done.
21:48Yeah.
21:48I'm over it.
21:49Move done.
21:50Like, I don't care.
21:50I'm so forgiving.
21:52But I really need people to take accountability.
21:53And I was finding myself so stressed and so frustrated.
21:57And I spoke to my therapist about it.
22:00And she said to me, what really irritates you about people?
22:03And I said, the number one thing that irritates me is someone that can't take accountability
22:06for what they've done.
22:07And she said, when did this happen to you before?
22:10And instantly, a memory came up of something that had happened to me when I was younger.
22:14And this person had done something pretty awful to me.
22:17And they never apologized.
22:20And me and this person never, we didn't speak for three months.
22:23And three months later, they started speaking to me again and just kind of pretended like
22:27nothing had happened.
22:28And I remember in that moment, so strongly, I was about 12 at the time, thinking, I just
22:33lost respect for them.
22:34But I felt, I can't believe you haven't just said sorry.
22:38And for me, what that meant was that my feelings didn't matter, that I didn't matter.
22:43I wasn't heard.
22:44I wasn't seen.
22:44I wasn't valued.
22:45The things that we need, right?
22:46So now as an adult, when somebody doesn't take accountability, I don't take it as what's
22:52happening now.
22:53I make it mean that I'm not being seen or heard.
22:56And so it, it stirs up such deep pain and emotion.
23:02And so I'm not able to see the situation clearly because I'm focusing on the emotional like
23:07reaction to it that is from the past.
23:09As soon as I became aware of it, I was able to let it go.
23:14And so that is for me, the power in looking back and working on your past.
23:21It becomes so heavy as well, doesn't it?
23:23Because if you think about carrying all those things that you have been accumulating of all
23:28the pain that you've taken in, but not digested, all the trauma that you've taken in, but locked
23:34away somewhere, it's still in you, but it's somewhere that's hidden away.
23:38Actually, if you think about it, you go through all these years and suddenly you realize you're
23:43carrying so much weight.
23:44Yeah.
23:45And then the heaviness of that one situation that you'd already been in, the weight of that
23:50is continued in the conversations you're then having.
23:53So everything feels even more intense, even more irritating.
23:57You get even angrier than you normally would have because it's not a new situation.
24:01It's an old situation that you've still got all that weight attached to.
24:05And so something that you wouldn't normally have such a deep reaction to, you end up wiling
24:09out because...
24:10It's what being triggered is, right?
24:11Exactly.
24:12And for people listening, because therapy I know can be really expensive, but people can
24:16do this on their own.
24:17So for anybody listening, what they can do is, why don't you just for a moment, you could
24:21get a journal or a notepad and pen now, you could pause this and just consider what are
24:26the patterns that are currently present in your life?
24:28Like what keeps coming up for you?
24:30What issues, what situations that piss you off or make you sad or make you angry?
24:37And can you recognize any patterns within them, like within those situations?
24:42And then just look at, when did I first experience something like this?
24:46Yeah.
24:46And it can be as simple as that.
24:48And I really do say like that letting go, that process, it is just having the awareness.
24:53I don't know how, but it releases something.
24:56It's also being aware of what is this actual emotion?
24:59Because I feel like we have such small emotional vocabulary where it's like, this is making
25:03me angry.
25:03And then I read somewhere that anger is just a secondary emotion.
25:06So what are you actually feeling?
25:08Yes.
25:08What is the emotion you're actually feeling?
25:10What is it digging up inside of you linked back to, oh, it makes me feel unworthy, unheard.
25:15Yeah.
25:15It makes me feel like nobody's supporting me.
25:17It makes me feel like no one's listening to me.
25:18I don't feel intelligent in this room because of something that someone said.
25:22Yes.
25:22Whatever the deeper rooted feeling is, go beyond the, oh, I'm so angry right now because,
25:29okay, you're angry, but where has the anger actually come from?
25:32Because if it's a secondary emotion, there's somewhere deeper that you need to go.
25:36Absolutely.
25:36You spoke about dating.
25:38And one thing I've been surrounded by at the moment are my friends who really struggle
25:42in dating situations to say no and set boundaries.
25:46And when you were saying that, I was like, I guess it is linked to confidence because your
25:50ability to say no and set boundaries is you being able to trust in your personal self
25:56and knowing that saying no is okay.
25:59And if they leave, if they decide that they don't want to go on a second date, if they
26:02decide that they don't want to be with you, that's a sign that they're not supposed to.
26:06But saying no seems to be something that women specifically struggle with so much, whether
26:11it's in relationships or in friendships and the boundaries being put up.
26:15Um, what kind of recommendations or advice do you give to someone who's struggling to
26:20put up boundaries?
26:22Well, I think it all comes down to fear of rejection.
26:25Okay.
26:25So it's all really the, the fear is if I set a boundary, this person will leave me.
26:31Yes.
26:32And that fear, that fear of rejection, by the way, is very real.
26:35And again, be kind to yourself about that because that's an evolutionary response.
26:40The feeling of being rejected from your tribe would mean that you would be unsafe and that
26:45would create feelings of anxiety.
26:46So it's a very real thing.
26:48And so I think firstly, just be like kind to yourself by recognizing that it is causing
26:53a very real response.
26:54But I think that it's these, with boundary setting, I think it's really like chicken and
27:00egg because we can only gain confidence.
27:03Well, not only, but one of the ways that we gain confidence and self-worth is by setting
27:07boundaries because there is so much, there is such a feeling of empowerment when you are
27:12able to recognize what you need, what you won't stand for, um, and honoring yourself.
27:18And trusting that you are worth being honored.
27:21Like that is so, it's such a great feeling.
27:24Anybody that's ever set a boundary will know how good it feels.
27:27When you just say, do you know what, actually I'm not available for that.
27:30Yeah.
27:31It is the best feeling, but the more confident that you are, also the easier it is to do that.
27:38Right.
27:39So you're kind of working on these things all the time.
27:41That's why these comfort, these six steps of, the eight steps of confidence that I lay out
27:46in my book, you really work on them simultaneously.
27:48And boundary setting is part of that.
27:50But I think with dating specifically, the reason that that boundary setting is so hard
27:54is because, I mean, there's so many reasons, but some of them are that, you know, basically
27:59that what we've learned about whether we love starts from so young, right.
28:03From, you know, the way that we're, the relationships that we have with our caregivers or parents.
28:06Yeah.
28:07So that is like really deep within us.
28:10So to feel like we are, most of us, most of us didn't have unconditional love, right,
28:16growing up.
28:16It's like, it is conditional.
28:18It's, if you are good, you are lovable, right?
28:21And that's not to blame our parents or our caregivers.
28:24It's just how they were taught to parent as well.
28:27And so it's very hard for us as adults to then believe that we are worthy of unconditional
28:33love.
28:34And I think that also there's society and our friends where you're constantly hearing the
28:41narrative.
28:41It's so hard to meet someone.
28:43Yes.
28:44How many times do you hear people say that?
28:48It's so hard to meet someone these days.
28:50Oh yeah.
28:50Nobody meets someone.
28:51And it is trickier.
28:53That's true.
28:54But the more that we're saying it to each other, the more that we're kind of convincing
28:59ourselves that there's, we're in the scarcity mindset.
29:01Yeah.
29:01So, well, if, if I set a boundary and I don't have this person, where the hell am I going
29:06to meet anyone else?
29:06Right.
29:07Right.
29:07So then you're stuck in this like, well, I'll just take what I can get rather than actually
29:11being able to say, no, I know I'm worth more than this and I'm going to wait.
29:16And that's what step four of my manifesting process, overcome tests of, overcome tests
29:21from the universe is really all about this.
29:23I truly believe that we won't meet our one until we are able to say no to what isn't right
29:29for us.
29:30And as long as we are allowing someone to treat us with any level of disrespect or, you
29:39know, anything that really isn't reflective of what you actually want, we won't be able
29:44to create space for what you do want to enter your life.
29:47That makes so much sense.
29:48It's like, you're, you're already holding things in your hands.
29:50So how do you expect the God or universe?
29:54It's ready for you, but if you don't let go of what's not for you, you don't have the
29:57hands to catch what is for you or even the eyes to recognize that it is that even if
30:02you're being sent all the signs, all the signals.
30:03I was just this morning listening to, um, the audio book of conversations with God.
30:09Have you read that?
30:10I've, I just go into the first chapter, but it was so beautiful because, um, he was talking
30:15about how he was asking God, okay, but how do I know you're talking to me universe?
30:19How do I know that you're speaking to me?
30:21And God said, I'm literally sending signs and signals all the time.
30:25I am showing you not, he goes, words are actually the most, the lowest form of communication.
30:30Words are actually the lowest, most unreliable form of communication, but actually through
30:36the way that you actually feel, through the way people behave around you, through, um,
30:42the tiny things that happen in your day.
30:44Those are the indications that I'm communicating with you, but you need the eyes to be able
30:48to see it, the hands to receive it.
30:50And I just thought that's so true, right?
30:53Like that the signs are being shown to us all the time, but we have to know when to let
30:58go and when to receive.
31:00And that comes with, I see confidence as alignment as well, because the more that you feel that
31:06you are spiritually connected or in alignment with the universe around you or with God,
31:10the more you're able to receive those signals and the more, you know, that they are the trusted
31:14source.
31:15But to get there, you obviously have to build self-trust.
31:18And so what were some of the tools and techniques that you have used in your life to actually
31:23build trust in your own voice and your own capabilities?
31:26I think it's such a good point.
31:28So self-trust for me is really being able to trust your own word and trust in your decision
31:33making.
31:33And they're kind of two separate things.
31:35So in terms of trusting your own word, I think that it's really important that you do
31:40the things that you say you'll do.
31:42And for me, this is like really foundational to confidence.
31:45If you are saying to yourself, I'm going to go to the gym tomorrow, I'm going to finish
31:51this task, I'm not going to drink tonight, whatever it is, if you are saying those things
31:55to yourself and you're not doing them, then it's how are you going to learn to trust yourself?
32:00And so it really is about, that's why I think self-discipline is a form of self-respect
32:04and self-love because you need to start following through with your own word.
32:08Just in the same way that if you had someone in your life that never did the things they
32:13say they'd do, you'd stop trusting them, you'd lose respect for them.
32:16And so you have to treat yourself with the same kind of standards.
32:21The next thing is decision making.
32:23So I think that it's particularly when we have low self-worth, we often turn to the people
32:27around us to help us make all our decisions.
32:30So, you know, you might call your mom, what should I have for lunch today?
32:33You know, or I don't know what to do.
32:35Should I post this on Instagram?
32:36Should I stay in this job?
32:38Should I break up with my boyfriend?
32:39We ask the people around us to help us make all our decisions.
32:44And actually, I think that being able to make our own decisions is like one of the quickest
32:51ways to building that self-trust and self-confidence.
32:55And so how do we do that?
32:57I often talk about us being able to visualize our higher self, right?
33:01So if you were to sit and think about who is the best you that you could be and visualize
33:07that version of yourself and think about what does that version of you do day to day?
33:11How do they feel about themselves?
33:12How do they walk into a room?
33:13What are they attracting into their life?
33:16And then I want you to use that higher self as your decision maker.
33:19So before every decision you make, instead of asking your friend what to do, you can ask
33:24yourself, what would my higher self do?
33:27And it is such an amazing, it's like a filter for you so that your decision filter that will
33:32help you to make more empowering decisions and gain that confidence on the way.
33:38Because then you also don't get stuck in the temporary feelings that you have.
33:42It's like my friends always text me at like 12, saying, should I text him?
33:45And I'm like, make that decision in the morning.
33:47Yeah, yeah.
33:48Don't do that right now, because what emotion you are feeling right now will not be the same
33:53as what you're feeling in the morning.
33:54And so that's obviously such a small example, but thinking of what would my higher self do?
33:59It's almost like thinking into the future, if you will.
34:01It's saying, oh, okay, how will I feel about myself in an hour's time?
34:07Or if I was looking at myself from an outside point of view, what would make me feel happy
34:11in the decision that I made in that moment?
34:13Exactly.
34:14And I want to kind of go back to addiction just a little bit, because I find for many
34:20of my friends as well that have been through difficulty in confidence or lack of self-worth,
34:26it's so interesting how addiction plays such a big role in that, in whichever way, whether
34:31it's alcohol, drugs, sex, whatever it is.
34:36People's natural instinct is to go towards something that suppresses and gives temporary
34:42satisfaction, even though the pain is greater after.
34:46So after, I know Wolf was the reason you ended up giving up, but what did you do in those
34:50struggling moments where you were going to turn to addiction if you had any moments like
34:54that?
34:54And what were the things that actually stopped you?
34:56Because I find that's the hardest moment to make those decisions in.
34:59You know, it's really interesting.
35:00I mean, I think ultimately what we're looking to do is escape, right?
35:04And escape from the pain of being ourselves.
35:05And that's definitely what I was doing for a long time.
35:10And when I had Wolf, when I gave everything up during pregnancy, I have to say it was
35:17unbelievably hard.
35:18Giving up smoking was one thing.
35:20Giving up drugs for me was horrendously difficult.
35:25Like, all I wanted to do was like, just go out and take drugs.
35:29And it felt really hard.
35:30And actually, at the time of being pregnant, I was like, oh, when I have Wolf, I'm just
35:35going to go back to it.
35:36Like, I really wanted to at that point.
35:37I thought that's what I would do.
35:40But what happened was, during my pregnancy, I started figuring out what my purpose was.
35:46I started to figure out what I wanted to do after I had Wolf.
35:48And straight after I had Wolf, I started to turn my life around.
35:51And within five months, I'd basically started my career, which was I started with hosting
35:56workshops.
35:57What kept me from going back to drugs wasn't necessarily being a mom, if I'm honest.
36:03It was that I found a purpose.
36:05And that I found something worth waking up for the next day.
36:08Yeah.
36:08And something that was giving me a sense of self-worth.
36:11I felt like being of service to others was my reason for being.
36:16And that all the pain I'd been in before was so that I could connect with others.
36:20And that feeling of being of service, that feeling of having something that was greater
36:28than me became my anchor.
36:30And that was the start of my confidence journey, really.
36:34And that's why step seven of confidence is be of service.
36:38I think people underestimate how being of service can actually impact our own feeling of being
36:47valuable in the world and feeling like we are, yeah, feeling we are of value.
36:52And I think it's so important.
36:54And that can be in any way.
36:57It can be through charitable work, volunteering, through what you do.
37:02But it can also just be through how you support the people close to you, your family, your friends.
37:06It doesn't have to be like, it really can be anything.
37:10But just knowing that we can help others, I think it's just so integral.
37:16Yeah, when I read that part of the book, you know, every time I think about service,
37:21I think about it's just an opportunity to get yourself out of your own mind and into someone else's life
37:27or into someone else's pain or discomfort.
37:30And you also feel more useful in that situation, which helps with the purpose aspect of it.
37:35But it also made me think about how confidence or lack of confidence could also potentially come from
37:42self-obsession in a certain way.
37:44And the reason I thought that was because when you end up obsessing over yourself so much,
37:50obsessing over how people see you, obsessing over looking in the mirror 30, 40, 50 times before you go out
37:56of the house,
37:56obsessing over what you're wearing and what other people are thinking.
37:59And I'm saying this all from a personal point of view because I used to,
38:02it actually really messed up mine and Jay's relationship at the beginning
38:06because I was so insecure of every part of my body.
38:10Oh, my God.
38:18Okay.
38:18Yeah, this is a really good cry for a reason.
38:20Yeah, I was so insecure that every time we would go out,
38:24I would, the thing I'd be obsessing over was before we'd left the house,
38:28I would be like, oh, does this look weird on me?
38:30Or every part of our conversation would be based around that.
38:33I'm crying because I was like, how sad it was back then that it ruined so much of my experience
38:38of the relationship, of the experience of going to wherever we were going.
38:42And it was so interesting to me because it went on four years from such a young age,
38:47probably because I grew up overweight and I was just always obsessing over that.
38:51But how it was purely through self-obsession of the thought that other people are going
38:56to be thinking about all of this stuff to do with me when really people are just thinking
38:59about themselves.
39:00Yeah.
39:00And so the obsessiveness of constantly thinking people are thinking about me,
39:07people are looking at me, people are doing all these things and it's all to do with me
39:10has destructive tendencies.
39:13Yeah.
39:13Like it really is so destructive to the conversations you can have with people,
39:17even when you interact with them.
39:18I could be thinking right now, oh my God, I wonder if she's looking at me and what she
39:22thinks about my makeup, for example.
39:23Yeah.
39:24Or I could be listening to what you are saying and participating in this conversation.
39:28And I just find it makes me sad for other people thinking if there's so many people who go
39:33through that, where it strips them and takes away their ability to actually connect, communicate
39:40and live in present moment with people.
39:43And I think it's such a difficult place to get out of as well.
39:46I think having obviously a partner who's so supportive in that and was like, no, repeating
39:51himself over and over again, but eventually being like, I really want you to care about yourself
39:56and love yourself because I see you and I think you're this, this and this, but you don't
40:00see it.
40:01And that's, that nothing else matters.
40:03How other people see you makes no difference.
40:04And so I think creating these tools and techniques like you've got in both your books, I think
40:10it's just so important because the whole world just seems so sadder than, than happy.
40:16Don't you think?
40:16I agree.
40:17And thank you for sharing that.
40:19I didn't expect to do that either, but.
40:20It's, um, I think it's like so amazing to experience that kind of emotion.
40:25And when it's compassion, it's like feeling like sad for the old you and like, also I
40:33think sometimes it's also really touching to see how far you've come sometimes and remind
40:39yourself and it is really sad that we waste so much of our lives worried about what everyone
40:46else thinks of us.
40:47And I think there's a stat in the beginning of the book that Dove did, which is, I think
40:5372% of young girls don't do something because they're worried about the way that they look.
40:59So they're like genuinely missing out on their life.
41:03So much of their life.
41:04And it's, there's a psychological phenomenon called the spotlight effect, which is literally
41:09where we assume that other people are focusing on the things that we notice.
41:13Yeah.
41:13So if we've got a spot, we're convinced that everybody's staring at it.
41:16Yeah.
41:16Or if we're messing up in gym, we think that someone's watching us.
41:20Nobody is.
41:21Yes.
41:22Nobody, we are not the main character of anyone else's story.
41:25No.
41:26Nobody's, I would say it in the book that I'm like, nobody's tuning in to the next episode
41:29of the series of my life.
41:30No, they're really not.
41:31No one gives a f***.
41:32They really don't.
41:33And I think as soon as you start living life that way, I had this lady called Liz Moody
41:37on my podcast.
41:37Yeah.
41:38And she had something in her book that really changed it for me, where she said she was
41:42really conscious because she felt really uncomfortable in a swimsuit.
41:45And so her whole family went away on holiday and they all were in the ocean.
41:50She was like, there's no way I'm getting in the ocean because my thighs look like this.
41:54People are going to be thinking, why is she even in the ocean?
41:56Why is she even wearing that swimsuit?
41:58She was sitting there, sitting there on the beach, thinking that constantly while she was
42:02watching her whole family enjoy themselves so much.
42:05And suddenly she was like, when I'm 80 years old, am I going to be sitting there thinking,
42:10thank goodness those people didn't see my cellulite?
42:12Or am I going to be remembering feeling the ocean on my skin and feeling the sun and laughing
42:18with my family?
42:19And am I going to remember those laughs for the rest of my life?
42:21Yeah.
42:22And she goes, in that moment, I took off my sarong and I ran into that ocean.
42:26And I remember that story and I share it so much because that is literally how we live
42:32most of our life.
42:33I'm not going to dance with my friends because I'm not good at dancing.
42:35I'm not going to go out and wearing that thing I want to wear because my thighs don't
42:40look like that person's.
42:41Um, and I think jealousy, moving on to something that I think another is another part of lack
42:47of confidence, which is jealousy.
42:49How in your life have you dealt with feeling emotions of jealousy of other women or other
42:55people in your life?
42:56And what are some tools that you've used to navigate that?
42:59So I think envy is a really, it's a core emotion, right?
43:04Yeah.
43:04We have it from like children.
43:07Honestly, like Wolf cannot stand to see his cousin, Adam, even look at one of his toys.
43:14Like, oh my gosh.
43:16Yeah.
43:16And you learn that it is a core emotion, but as adults, we have so much shame around it.
43:21Like we don't want to admit that we're jealous, but it's normal to feel jealous, right?
43:25And I think that the first, for me, I know that what I used to feel really jealous of was
43:33people on Instagram looking like happy and playful and playful and fun because I was in
43:40such a deep depression for all my life that when I see people on social media, just being
43:45like carefree, I'd be like, oh my God, like I would crave it.
43:51Like it would make me feel so shit about myself.
43:53Yeah.
43:54And I really struggled, I think, with social media because I just didn't have any confidence
43:59myself and I think that the thing with envy is that it's most, if we feel it the most
44:06in the areas of our life where we feel the most insecure, but I have a whole step on like
44:11how to stop comparing yourself to others and I have lots of tools in the book about how
44:15to do that and I've used them lots myself.
44:19So one of them is one that is turn envy into inspiration.
44:24So allow people to really like show you what's possible rather than being in this scarcity
44:30mindset where if someone has something that might be less for you, it's in fact allowing
44:34someone else to show you what's possible.
44:35So being able to watch your envy, recognize when it props up and say, what is this showing
44:39me is possible or what's it showing me I need to heal more, right, in myself.
44:43But there's a few other tools that I love.
44:45One of them is all about changing your perspective.
44:48So I often think about if you, I describe the situation of like, if you're in a car
44:52and if you're in a line of traffic and if you're in a line of traffic and you were to
44:57look in your rear view, well, if you, you could be in, sorry, imagine that you're in
45:01a line of traffic and you're looking ahead at all the people ahead of you and you're
45:03like, oh my God, I wish I was up at the front, right?
45:06But if you took a moment to look at your rear view mirror and you saw all the line of
45:10traffic
45:10behind you, you might actually be able to just be like, do you know what?
45:13I'm so grateful for where I am.
45:14And it's called the basic, there's something called upward comparison and downward comparison.
45:19An upward comparison is where we tend to look at people that we perceive as better than
45:23us.
45:23And this can be quite damaging for our self-esteem if done too much.
45:26Some is nice because it can push us, right?
45:29It can push us to do better and to grow and to strive for more, but it can have a
45:32negative
45:32effect when we do it too much.
45:34And we're constantly thinking that everyone else is better than us.
45:37Downward comparison, it's not about looking at people as if we are above them, but it's
45:41about understanding that we are fortunate for where we are because there are people that
45:46don't have what we have yet.
45:47And so this is actually, that's where you have a kind of healthy level of comparison
45:52where you can have a little bit of both.
45:54So being able to just like sit back and just say, actually, I'm so grateful how far I've
45:58come.
45:59And do you know, I'm in such a fortunate position because look, you know, by making some downward
46:04comparisons can be really helpful.
46:06Another thing that I love is consider what you don't know.
46:10So when we see somebody's something that someone has that we're jealous of, we are just seeing
46:15that one small part of their life.
46:17But consider what you don't know about them, all their challenges, their traumas, their
46:23difficulties that you can't see.
46:25And then ask yourself, would I really trade my entire life for this?
46:28And the answer is always no, right?
46:30You'd rather, you know, rather the devil, you know, but you know, wouldn't you rather
46:34your own challenges and your own, you know, but everything that you have, you wouldn't trade
46:40all of that just for one part of someone else's life.
46:43That's so true.
46:44And I always find jealousy sometimes comes out, brings out the worst words and worst thoughts
46:50in your mind as well, where you become so much more critical about other people because
46:54you kind of don't want them to succeed.
46:55Like jealousy turns into this desire of, oh, they can't really be that good or there must
47:00be a flaw in something there.
47:02So do you think you can be critical of others, but still have confidence?
47:06Or do you think there has to be a disconnect between the two?
47:10I think as humans, I'm not going to sit here and say we never judge anyone.
47:13It's just not possible.
47:16But would I say that the majority of the time I see the best in people?
47:20Yes.
47:21I think that I don't care to, because I feel confident in who I am, I'm not, why would,
47:29why would it matter to me if someone wants to express themselves in this way or that?
47:33Like good for, everyone should be free to be who they are.
47:36And I think that really comes from confidence.
47:38And I definitely would say that those feelings of comparison or envy that I experienced before
47:44are much, much, much, much, much less.
47:46Yes.
47:46Not to say that I don't sometimes have the odd moment with a friend where we're like,
47:51you know, we're human.
47:52It happens sometimes.
47:53Totally.
47:54But if it does, I'm also, but majority of the time I will always give people the benefit
47:59of the doubt.
47:59Yeah.
48:00And if I notice myself feeling jealous of someone, it's like, ooh, okay, what is that
48:06showing me?
48:06Yeah, what is it that I want in my life?
48:08And then quickly changing it.
48:09You know, I really think being happy for other people is such an amazing and wonderful quality
48:14to have.
48:15So I always, wherever possible, celebrate other people's success.
48:18Yeah, whenever I used to get jealous of other people, the first thing I would try and do
48:22is compliment them in my mind.
48:23Yeah.
48:23Or even out loud.
48:24Yeah.
48:25Because as soon as I get a negative thought about them, I'm like, okay, but what is it
48:28about them that I truly admire?
48:30Yeah.
48:31Because there's always admiration that's tucked into jealousy because obviously you want
48:34what that person has.
48:36And so trying to turn that jealousy into words of admiration or appreciation ends up being
48:42really useful in those moments too.
48:45So you wrote in the book that confidence is built through action, not affirmation.
48:49Could you explain a little bit about what you mean by that?
48:51So I say that like actions speak louder than words.
48:53So sometimes someone can show you they love you, not by just saying I love you, but by
48:56helping you move house, bringing you a cup of tea in the morning.
49:00It's through what you do.
49:01Yeah.
49:01And I think the way we treat ourselves really does matter.
49:04I think that we can speak to ourselves kindly and that's so important.
49:07Yeah.
49:07But how are we treating ourselves?
49:09Are we giving our body the nutrients it needs?
49:12Are we moving it?
49:12Are you honoring rest when you need to?
49:15Are you getting fresh air and being out in nature?
49:18You know, I think that we need to show ourselves through the way that we treat ourselves how,
49:24what we deserve.
49:25Yes.
49:26Yeah.
49:26I think that action is very important.
49:29Especially if you keep telling yourself something, it goes back to the self-confidence
49:33and self-trust, right?
49:34You keep saying something and not doing it.
49:35Exactly.
49:36I wanted to go a little bit on affirmations and some affirmations of confidence that people
49:41can say every day.
49:42Do you have any favorites?
49:42Oh my God, so many.
49:43My favorite favorite is I am enough.
49:46I have always been enough.
49:48I love that.
49:48Do you know the first time I said that when I cried?
49:50Because I think I just needed to hear it so much.
49:54I am proud of how far I have come.
49:57I am proud of who I am and who I am becoming is one that I love.
50:03I am of value to the world and the people around me.
50:06I think a great way to figure out what affirmation is good for you is to think about what are
50:12the limiting
50:13beliefs that you know that you hold.
50:15What are your things?
50:16It might be that you don't feel like you're good with people or you don't feel that you're
50:21clever enough to be in the job that you're in or whatever it is for you.
50:25And then basically, you just write an affirmation that directly opposes that limiting belief.
50:31And I think what people always need to remember is you don't need to believe it to be true to
50:35say it.
50:36Like, people say, well, I don't believe that.
50:38How can I say I am, you know, incredible at interviews if I don't feel like I am, right?
50:44Or how can I say I'm calm at ease when I'm feeling so anxious?
50:49But the point is that we're trying to give our brain these thoughts that it can then make reality by
50:58repeated use.
50:59And I think it's, you know, Marissa Piero says that your brain's job is to make your thoughts true.
51:03And I love the way she describes it.
51:05And it's, you know, we are telling our brain how to feel by inputting these, like, nourishing thoughts.
51:11And so I love affirmations, you know, first thing in the morning as I'm waking up,
51:15when our brains are really susceptible to that positive messaging, that for me is my favorite.
51:19Like, I'm always, like, I wake up, I'm excited for what today could bring.
51:23I'm resilient and strong.
51:24I'm ready to handle any challenges that come my way.
51:27I'm proud of where I am, you know.
51:29And so I think, yeah, I just love affirmations.
51:31You're inviting it into existence, even if it doesn't already exist in your own mind,
51:35or you don't believe it yet.
51:36And starting your day off in that way, it creates that, instead of a negative filter,
51:40you end up kind of putting in that, the different lenses of living life through those affirmations.
51:47What would you say has been the hardest truth that you've had to learn on this journey?
51:52Healing really isn't, like, a linear process.
51:56I think that I found it really challenging in times where I'd think that I'd made so much progress
52:02and I could have a long stretch of feeling incredible.
52:04And then all of a sudden, I feel like I'm right back.
52:07Right.
52:08But actually realizing you're never right back.
52:10And it was really hard to, it was really scary for me at times because I thought,
52:15oh my God, I'm going back to that depression.
52:18Or it was, that was scary, but actually now with experience, like the other, I told you
52:25when I came in today, the other week, you know, I had two weeks where I honestly don't
52:30remember the last time I felt that much anxiety.
52:33I really felt on the edge of like a breakdown.
52:35I felt really unwell mentally and I hadn't felt that bad for a long time.
52:40And it was scary in a way, but I had enough experience to trust that something amazing
52:48was coming on the other side.
52:49And that you had all the tools and techniques you needed to make sure you come out of it.
52:53Yeah.
52:54You built that.
52:54I had the tools, but most importantly, I had the hope.
52:57Yeah.
52:58And that's sometimes, when you're in those moments, that is what you need, is you just
53:01need hope that after the dark days, better days are coming.
53:06Yes.
53:06That's really beautiful.
53:07I'm going to do a last few quickfire questions.
53:09What's your favorite affirmation right now?
53:12I am ready to make my dreams come true.
53:14A book that changed your life, apart from your own.
53:20The Four Agreements.
53:22Yes.
53:22Yeah.
53:23Great book.
53:24What's always in your handbag?
53:25My phone and a pair of eyelash curlers.
53:27Yeah, nice.
53:29A place to visit that's still on your bucket list.
53:32Turks and Caicos.
53:33Me too.
53:33I recently saw someone there, actually.
53:35It looks so gorgeous.
53:36It looks beautiful.
53:37For a quality that you're trying to embody or work on right now.
53:41Calm.
53:43Just feeling more grounded and calm in my responses.
53:47Nice.
53:48An area in your life that you're trying to grow and heal in right now.
53:51Love.
53:53And can you finish this sentence?
53:55Confidence is not.
53:57Being the loudest in the room.
53:59Love it.
53:59Thank you so much.
54:00Thank you so much.
54:01So wonderful.
54:03I'm so grateful.
54:04I love the conversation.
54:05And I really hope all of you got so much from it.
54:08And it helps in your journey to becoming more confident and vibrant humans.
54:12Thank you so much.
54:13Thank you, my love.
54:14That was so lovely.
54:15That was so great.
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