- 6 hours ago
The Boys - Season 5 - Episode 02: Teenage Kix
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📺
TVTranscript
00:00:10This is my son, your grandson, you're a fucking disappointment.
00:00:14Get out of the building now!
00:00:16Let's just stop!
00:00:17Everything you wanted, he's right fucking there.
00:00:19And now you blink?
00:00:20Ladies and gentlemen, the vice president of the United States.
00:00:24I know exactly what you're thinking, literally.
00:00:26Homelander wants more Starlighters arrested, as long as you're useful.
00:00:29Everything will come up, Ashley.
00:00:30Oh my god, Samir.
00:00:31Is that Zoe's dad?
00:00:35You're gonna make us some more of that virus.
00:00:38Chemical?
00:00:39You're still working on the virus, and you want Frenchy.
00:00:42Homelander's fuming.
00:00:43He's gonna execute Huey, Frenchy, and him in about 36 hours.
00:00:47We need your help to break them out.
00:00:49You're fucking crazy.
00:00:51Oh my god.
00:00:53Frenchy.
00:01:00What was I so afraid of?
00:01:02Ha ha ha!
00:01:03Ha ha ha!
00:01:03Ha ha ha!
00:01:04Ha ha ha!
00:01:25Ha ha!
00:01:26Praise the Lord!
00:01:28Praise the Lord!
00:01:32We come together to mourn the one and only A-Train.
00:01:36Amen!
00:01:37He loved his country, his God, but most of all his captain.
00:01:43Homelander, amen.
00:01:45Amen.
00:01:46Amen.
00:01:46Amen, sir.
00:01:47But, our martyred brother in Christ was struck down by that Jezebel.
00:01:58That wily emissary of Satan himself, Starlight.
00:02:02That's right.
00:02:04Now you know that ain't no figure of speech, right?
00:02:07It ain't no metaphors in this house.
00:02:09Starlight and her minions are literally possessed by demons.
00:02:13They spew and vomit.
00:02:15They eatin' babies.
00:02:16They turnin' little boys into little girls with garden shears.
00:02:20Lord have mercy!
00:02:25But we cast those demons out of this house.
00:02:28We fight hell fire.
00:02:29Yeah.
00:02:30We're holy fire.
00:02:31We fight with the ballot box.
00:02:34We fight with the ammo box.
00:02:37Yeah!
00:02:37Matthew 1034.
00:02:39I do not come to bring the peace, but a sword.
00:02:42You are not here to be blessed.
00:02:43You are here to do war.
00:02:46Amen!
00:02:47Amen!
00:02:48Amen!
00:02:49Amen!
00:02:51Can you feel the Holy Ghost power?
00:02:53I said, can you feel the Holy Ghost power?
00:02:57Then I need you to praise Him!
00:02:59Praise Him!
00:03:01Praise Him for victory!
00:03:02Praise Him!
00:03:03Praise Him for America!
00:03:04Praise Him!
00:03:05Praise Him!
00:03:06Praise Him for our superheroes!
00:03:08Praise Him!
00:03:11Stand up!
00:03:13Stand up!
00:03:14In the name of Jesus!
00:03:16This is mine.
00:03:20Amen!
00:03:22Amen!
00:03:23Amen!
00:03:25Amen!
00:03:26Amen!
00:03:41Welcome to the outskirts of airy Pennsylvania.
00:03:44A charming little burg, best known for its staggering amount of fentanyl overdoses.
00:03:53Oh, and uh, when you come in here, keep your mouth shut.
00:03:59Or I'll do the fucking law of you.
00:04:18You're still working on the virus.
00:04:22Not working.
00:04:23Sorted.
00:04:25Thanks to this diamond geezer.
00:04:32Samir.
00:04:33I found him not long after that bollocks with Newman and poor little Zoe.
00:04:40Well, you lot remember, don't you?
00:04:43When that cunt Homelander...
00:04:46Brutally murdered him in cold blood.
00:04:48Poor sods.
00:04:49Didn't stand a chance.
00:04:51Samir?
00:04:52Hi, I'm Huey.
00:04:53I was friends with Vicky.
00:04:57I...
00:04:59I'm so sorry for your loss.
00:05:00Are you an idiot?
00:05:01He cut off your leg with a hatchet.
00:05:02And kept me present.
00:05:03So did you.
00:05:04You shot me with the virus.
00:05:05Your leg regrew.
00:05:06Alright, alright.
00:05:07Listen.
00:05:08The only thing that matters is we buried said that shit so we could crack on with a godly work
00:05:13of revenge.
00:05:14And, good news.
00:05:16Samir's done it.
00:05:17As of last week, that naughty little bug of his is finally strong enough to top Homelander.
00:05:22Well, so we reckon.
00:05:23We just need a little... dry run.
00:05:26This thing kills just Homelander?
00:05:29Or every soup?
00:05:30Dunno.
00:05:31But we'll have a laugh finding out, won't we?
00:05:33Jesus fucking Christ.
00:05:35Will it infect humans?
00:05:36Well, you know, we gotta test it.
00:05:39We're close to Cleveland.
00:05:40You wish to test it on rock hard, no?
00:05:43I am glad you're back, mate.
00:05:45Rock hard?
00:05:46A member of Teenage Geeks.
00:05:48Rock hard is a living mountain.
00:05:51Nine hundred pounds of walking granite.
00:05:53Hasn't been seen since his unspeakable acts at the Lincoln Memorial, no?
00:05:58Oh, he's called fucked Lincoln in the year, filled it with so much hard calm it burst out of his
00:06:02mouth.
00:06:04Which makes Rock hard a perfect lab rat.
00:06:08Indestructible, or nearly.
00:06:09Almost as strong as Homelander.
00:06:11And no one gives a fuck about him.
00:06:13So, we nip in, twat him, bring him back here for a dose of kill juice.
00:06:18Lemon fucking squeezy.
00:06:22So...
00:06:23Let's get cracking.
00:06:24We gotta stop the hate crimes against Supes before they start.
00:06:30With President Calhoun's Freedom to be Free Act, local superheroes can now apprehend Starlighters before they commit any more violence.
00:06:42There you go.
00:06:44Where'd you get these from?
00:06:46Just friends.
00:06:47But they don't need them anymore.
00:06:52So, how are we gonna do it?
00:06:54Do what?
00:06:54Get the virus away from Butcher.
00:06:56Kill him.
00:06:56No, we're not gonna kill him.
00:06:57We're not just gonna go along with this, right?
00:07:01I'm sorry.
00:07:02Do we all have amnesia?
00:07:04Have we forgotten how fucked Butcher is?
00:07:06He murdered Vicky in front of her daughter.
00:07:08Now, he wants to murder every soup on the planet, which includes you.
00:07:12I said we take the virus and we run.
00:07:14Or kill him.
00:07:15Look, it's 10,000 soups to save 8 billion people worldwide.
00:07:21That's a good price in any war.
00:07:24Look, kid.
00:07:25It's a shit decision, alright?
00:07:27We're not denying that.
00:07:28But, they're out there wrangling people up as we speak.
00:07:30We don't have a motherfucking choice.
00:07:32Yes, there is a choice.
00:07:33And no, it's not yours to make.
00:07:34You're not the one who's going to die.
00:07:36Right?
00:07:39Why do you always give in to them?
00:07:43Kimiko, please, wait!
00:07:58Hey.
00:08:00So.
00:08:01It's been a tough year.
00:08:03No.
00:08:04No, I mean, I have been at Epcot mostly.
00:08:07Huh.
00:08:08Why do you bring it up?
00:08:10Just your whole vibe.
00:08:11Ditching Ivy and I at the camp.
00:08:13You're siding with Butcher.
00:08:14Your hair is different.
00:08:15Okay.
00:08:16Not so much about the hair.
00:08:17It's just, uh...
00:08:24Annie.
00:08:25Whatever you had to do.
00:08:28I get it.
00:08:29It's okay.
00:08:31We can...
00:08:33We can figure this out.
00:08:35We can...
00:08:37Talk?
00:08:37Yeah.
00:08:39Mm-hmm.
00:08:41Or...
00:08:42Counterpoint.
00:08:44Not talk.
00:08:46I mean...
00:08:48Yeah.
00:08:49That's a...
00:08:50That's a pretty compelling point.
00:08:51Mm-hmm.
00:08:58Mm-hmm.
00:08:59Mm-hmm.
00:09:01Mm-hmm.
00:09:01Mm-hmm.
00:09:02Mm-hmm.
00:09:03Mm-hmm.
00:09:03Mm-hmm.
00:09:07Mm-hmm.
00:09:07Mm-hmm.
00:09:07Mm-hmm.
00:09:07You stood there.
00:09:08Mon girl, listen.
00:09:09Jude off.
00:09:10Sliced into my homelander.
00:09:11Shot here, here, here.
00:09:13It hurt every time.
00:09:14But the virus?
00:09:14That was the only time I wanted to die.
00:09:16The pain.
00:09:17Okay.
00:09:21And you're okay with it!
00:09:23No!
00:09:26On my life, I'm not.
00:09:29But this is happening.
00:09:30With or without us.
00:09:32So I must learn everything I can about this pestilence.
00:09:37So I can protect you.
00:09:41I spent every day of the last year dreaming about you.
00:10:04You think that I would let anything take you away from me again?
00:10:11Yeah.
00:10:13I should invite you to.
00:10:17C'est incroyable.
00:10:20Your voice is even more beautiful than I dreamt.
00:10:34Close off now.
00:10:44Your bottom half.
00:10:46Is it really been grown?
00:10:48My vagina is tingling and damp.
00:10:51Don't ask me what you know is true.
00:10:55Don't have to tell me I love your precious heart.
00:11:01I, I was standing.
00:11:08You were there.
00:11:10And they will never tear us apart.
00:11:18I told you.
00:11:22That we could fly.
00:11:26But some of us don't know why.
00:11:30You were there.
00:11:30I, I, I, I, I, I, I.
00:11:34I was standing.
00:11:37You were there.
00:11:40And they could never, ever tear us apart.
00:11:46I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I, I.
00:11:58God damn it, Adrian.
00:12:06Didn't need to come to this.
00:12:09I don't know.
00:12:10You left me no choice.
00:12:12I know my leadership style can be stern, but it's for your own good.
00:12:21I like to think of myself as the big brother that you never had.
00:12:34You remember that girlfriend you had?
00:12:38Uh, Paul.
00:12:42Pop Fang.
00:12:44Betrayed us both to William Butcher, no less.
00:12:47It was a huge mess.
00:12:48Your fault.
00:12:48What did I do?
00:12:50What did I do?
00:12:52I gave you a chance to make things right.
00:12:55I, I reached out my hand.
00:13:00And you bit it.
00:13:02What did I ever do to deserve that?
00:13:06What, was I too nurturing?
00:13:08Too forgiving?
00:13:10Well, maybe, but damn it, you weren't like the others.
00:13:14Snakes.
00:13:16Backstabbers.
00:13:17I could count on you, man.
00:13:18I did count on you.
00:13:20I loved you.
00:13:23But here we are.
00:13:26Why does this keep happening to me?
00:13:34I guess the strongest men are the most alone.
00:13:39You wouldn't understand.
00:13:43Nobody does.
00:13:46I'm sorry.
00:13:47No, no.
00:14:01No, no.
00:14:03No.
00:14:05No, no, no.
00:14:05No, no, no, no.
00:14:09No, no, no.
00:14:10No, no.
00:14:11No, no.
00:14:11No, no.
00:14:11Nothing is.
00:14:12No, no.
00:14:33Firecrackers Flaming Freedom Sticks.
00:14:35I'm Countess Crow, Countess of the Crows, and we're doing a Votality Vamp Glam Tutorial.
00:14:42Wankers, can't even take a shit without it being sponsored.
00:14:46You know they could pay like 50 grand a post for this shit.
00:14:4950 grand?
00:14:50Mmm.
00:14:52Dog wankers.
00:14:56Guys, we drill any louder and the real housewives of country are gonna hear.
00:15:00Frenchy, how much longer?
00:15:01Teenage kicks you dead out on patrol any minute.
00:15:03They go out, we go in.
00:15:05Rockhart hasn't posted in a year.
00:15:07He might not live here anymore.
00:15:08Every day, Countess Crow, Countess of the Crows brings down a protein shake to the basement.
00:15:14I bet my bottom anal beads is down there.
00:15:22Everything okay?
00:15:24All good.
00:15:32Hey, look lively back there.
00:15:35All right, nothing fancy, yeah?
00:15:37Nip in, twat in, bring it back here.
00:15:42Keep the engine running.
00:15:51Are you ready?
00:16:21Internet's down.
00:16:37The fuck you ass slitters doing in here?
00:16:45Oh my god, asshole must weigh 30,000 pounds.
00:16:50My dick weighs more rich.
00:16:53Well, right in that way we can move him.
00:16:55Even with the three of us.
00:16:56So what now?
00:17:15You, what the fuck?
00:17:18No, no, no, no.
00:17:19It's okay, it's okay.
00:17:20I don't want to hurt you.
00:17:21You're safe, okay?
00:17:23You've been in deep freeze again.
00:17:24Oh, Jesus Christ.
00:17:27For how long?
00:17:27Almost two years in a CIA black site.
00:17:31I just found out this morning.
00:17:34You found out this morning?
00:17:35Yeah.
00:17:36But that just happens to be in your room.
00:17:42Did you fuck me?
00:17:44What?
00:17:44Is this some kind of incest thing?
00:17:46No!
00:17:46Then what the fuck is this?
00:17:48Look, I...
00:17:50I want you to find William Butcher.
00:17:53Find him yourself?
00:17:54Well, the people that work for me are limited and you are the best tracker there is.
00:18:00I just, I need you to find him and report back.
00:18:03Very simple.
00:18:05You want me to work for you.
00:18:08Well, why don't we say work with me and I can help you.
00:18:13I can give you a proper comeback.
00:18:16I don't need you for that.
00:18:17Well, the whole world does think that you're a Russian spy, so...
00:18:22Okay.
00:18:23Alright.
00:18:24Listen to me.
00:18:25I'm no ass felch and commie.
00:18:28You got that?
00:18:29I know.
00:18:30I know.
00:18:30And listen.
00:18:31I am Vaught now.
00:18:34Me.
00:18:35So the public?
00:18:36They're gonna believe that you are whatever I tell them you are.
00:18:40I can resurrect you.
00:18:41I can give you back what you lost.
00:18:44I can even make you number two in the seven.
00:18:47Number two?
00:18:49Or how about I finish the job and blast you to kingdom fuck?
00:18:57Hey, you could try.
00:18:59Who knows?
00:19:00You might even fry the V right out of my blood.
00:19:05Or you might not.
00:19:08But I'm betting that you hate William Butcher more than you...
00:19:11Than you hate me.
00:19:15After all, I'm not the one that betrayed you.
00:19:17Am I?
00:19:19I tried to kill you.
00:19:21The minute I turn my back, how do I know you won't return the favor?
00:19:25Look.
00:19:26Uh.
00:19:35You find William Butcher for me.
00:19:39All is forgiven.
00:19:49Looks like a fucking kindergarten ashtray.
00:19:53Improve your sleep.
00:19:55Strengthen your immune system.
00:19:58Nourish your soul.
00:20:00The ancient Taoists believed that perennium sunning stopped chi, life force, from leaving the body.
00:20:06And invited prana, solar energy in.
00:20:10Don't ignore your anal wellness.
00:20:12Introducing the new deep brand Sigma Solarium Bivot.
00:20:16Bye bros.
00:20:18Four bros.
00:20:19Okay, we need to abort.
00:20:20Your.
00:20:21Your.
00:20:21Mom.
00:20:22Should.
00:20:22Have.
00:20:23Aborted.
00:20:24You.
00:20:26Fuck it.
00:20:27Who tested here?
00:20:28What.
00:20:29Test?
00:20:30Monsieur Jean Coutet, the virus is contagious.
00:20:32As Samir says, c'est fini.
00:20:34The game is over.
00:20:35No, Butcher's right.
00:20:37Brock Hart has seen us, so...
00:20:39We can't leave.
00:20:40Virus?
00:20:41What virus?
00:20:42Look.
00:20:43I don't break you lot out of the pain to flap about.
00:20:46Now all we gotta do is seal of inhalation.
00:20:48Every exit point, tighter than a Boy Scouts asshole at Jamboree.
00:20:52No, no, no.
00:20:53C'est pas possible.
00:20:58Maybe.
00:21:02Yo.
00:21:05Is that motherfucker holding his breath?
00:21:07Uh-huh.
00:21:08His heart rate is 10 beats per minute.
00:21:10He can't probably hold his breath for a couple of hours.
00:21:13Like a blue whale.
00:21:14If he won't breathe, how do we get the virus in him?
00:21:17Whoa.
00:21:18He ain't our first whale, is he?
00:21:20You lot sort this.
00:21:22I'll fetch the virus.
00:21:23Kimiko, you're with me.
00:21:30Boy, you two, leave it out, would ya?
00:21:33Fucking work in here.
00:21:37Hey.
00:21:38Coming with you.
00:21:40What for?
00:21:41Who?
00:21:41I don't trust you.
00:21:43Hmm.
00:21:44Yeah.
00:21:46Suit yourself.
00:21:52We've so far identified the location of 10,000 active starlight sympathizers.
00:21:57Coincidentally, the map is almost identical to where the most nut milks are consumed.
00:22:01Where's more?
00:22:02He just disappears every afternoon.
00:22:04Won't say where he's going.
00:22:05Won't say shit.
00:22:06I think he's on the method.
00:22:08Meisner technique.
00:22:10Is that a Jew thing?
00:22:12We are using local soups and law enforcement to round them up, but you can invoke the Insurrection
00:22:17Act if we need to deploy the military, Mr. President.
00:22:20Good idea.
00:22:20What qualifies someone as an active starlighter?
00:22:24That's gonna be anyone who posts pro, starlight, or anti-Homelander content.
00:22:27Honestly, the Vaught Book algorithm does most of the work for us.
00:22:31We've got, what, 52,000 data points on every user.
00:22:36We truly live in an age of wonder.
00:22:38But we are gonna need to triple the amount of freedom camps to hold them all.
00:22:42Love it.
00:22:43It's just that after we've paid for Vaught's military contracts, all those corporate tax breaks,
00:22:48and for the existing freedom camps, Treasury's running a little dry.
00:22:53People get twitchy at rounding up their neighbors, but they'll flat-out revolt if we raise taxes.
00:22:59The President is thinking how insane this is right now.
00:23:02He'll back you.
00:23:03You can do it.
00:23:04Speak up.
00:23:04And a lot of these sympathizers are Vaught customers.
00:23:08Won't there are arrests eaten to your bottom line?
00:23:11Nah.
00:23:12We'll just start selling ads on Vaught Plus.
00:23:14Wow.
00:23:15Amazing, Ashley.
00:23:16You're a real Che Guevara.
00:23:17Well, alrighty then.
00:23:18Let me ask the most important question.
00:23:22Do I got immunity?
00:23:34For fuck's sake.
00:23:36Soldier Boy is the President, Vice President of the United States of America.
00:23:41They work for me.
00:23:43Everyone, Soldier Boy is gonna be number two in the seven.
00:23:47Once he is located William Butcher and Annie January.
00:23:51Wait, wait, wait, what, sir?
00:23:52No, sir.
00:23:53I can do this.
00:23:54I can bring them in.
00:23:54Well, like he did with A-Train.
00:23:56We're going in a new direction, Deep.
00:23:59Competence.
00:24:00Oh.
00:24:01And Steve, Soldier Boy is gonna need a full pardon.
00:24:03Well, sir, he, uh, he was guilty of, you know, treason.
00:24:11Consider it done, sir.
00:24:13Terrific.
00:24:13And you know what?
00:24:14I'm sure the man's dying for a drink.
00:24:16Uh, Steve, can you make him a...
00:24:19Manhattan.
00:24:21Manhattan.
00:24:22Thanks, Steve.
00:24:23Of course.
00:24:25Can I get you a glass of milk, sir?
00:24:28No.
00:24:29Steven?
00:24:31I'll also have a Manhattan.
00:24:35Goddamn.
00:24:37Since what could Supes teabag the president?
00:24:41Since me.
00:24:58Okay, what's next?
00:25:05What is that?
00:25:15Look out!
00:25:17Oh, God!
00:25:18Oh, God!
00:25:18Putain!
00:25:19Oh, yes, sir.
00:25:21It's mountain pornography.
00:25:23What?
00:25:24Almost got you, fuckers.
00:25:28Ha, ha.
00:25:29Oh, shh.
00:25:31No.
00:25:32What is that explains how he's groomed?
00:25:37From bashing his bishop.
00:25:40Gross.
00:25:48Mmm.
00:25:50No, that's what I'm talking about.
00:25:53Oh, God.
00:25:57Fucking unsanitary.
00:25:59Ugh.
00:26:00I know.
00:26:01I know.
00:26:02Yeah, you know.
00:26:03Yeah, I know.
00:26:03I know.
00:26:09It's not.
00:26:13I know.
00:26:14It's bad.
00:26:16I know.
00:26:18But, you know, I know.
00:26:23It's bad.
00:26:24It's bad.
00:26:30Next step will be to apply my fave foundation
00:26:33from my Votality collab, Velvet Ember.
00:26:37It doesn't fade even after a long day
00:26:38of shoving starlighters into police fans.
00:26:43We talked about this.
00:26:44I don't have a choice.
00:26:45They make me do this.
00:26:48There we go.
00:26:50Today, I'm gonna be going for a dark hero look.
00:26:53So we're gonna be using Black Noir's
00:26:54Noir Black Liquid Eyeliner because it is the-
00:26:58Noir Black Liquid Eyeliner
00:27:00Do you dare enter my dark domain?
00:27:02I am Countess Crow.
00:27:04Countess of the Crows.
00:27:06And I shall make you do the day that you decide to-
00:27:09Fuck it.
00:27:17Fuck.
00:27:19C'est ça.
00:27:21It's like each layer of cum represents a slow passage of time.
00:27:27It's like a metaphor for life, no?
00:27:29It's a metaphor for my balls.
00:27:38What is the matter?
00:27:41A starlighter cell in St. Louis was raided, so they're all gone.
00:27:46Just like the one in Portland and Sacramento and Boise and I guess we can add a train to that
00:27:52list, right?
00:27:56You didn't kill them.
00:27:59They chose to fight.
00:28:00Yeah, because they thought that I was going to save them.
00:28:03I told them that we were gonna make it out.
00:28:07Fucking easy for me to say.
00:28:09I'm bulletproof.
00:28:12Have you told Petit U.E. any of this?
00:28:14No, no, because he'll say it wasn't my fault.
00:28:17So, I can't.
00:28:22So this is why you do not care if the virus kills you?
00:28:26I led them to a shallow grave.
00:28:32So, I just get a fucking white picket fence and cherry pie.
00:28:38No, I can't live like that.
00:28:40If I follow them, it's the only thing that makes sense.
00:28:50I am the heavyweight champion in torturing myself over lives lost.
00:28:57And yes, it's easier to wallow on your guilt.
00:29:04But the fucking shit.
00:29:06You get up every day and you keep going.
00:29:10Anything else is an insult to the dead.
00:29:15You creep.
00:29:16Just let go.
00:29:18Get your chopped old man hands off of me.
00:29:20Guess who didn't make it to patrol today?
00:29:21Oh, shit.
00:29:23Starlight.
00:29:24Oh, my God.
00:29:25You guys are terrorists.
00:29:29What do we do with her?
00:29:32Same as rock hard.
00:29:35You don't have a choice.
00:29:40All right.
00:29:41Come on.
00:29:42No, what?
00:29:44Let me go.
00:29:45No.
00:29:49No.
00:29:49Baby color.
00:29:51We're far off.
00:29:52Let's make it.
00:30:03Pounce on this starlighter scum right in our own neighborhood.
00:30:08All this crime stopping makes me so thirsty.
00:30:11Turbo Rush.
00:30:12The drink of heroes.
00:30:15Only 15 calories.
00:30:17Cut.
00:30:18That was a good take.
00:30:20No, please.
00:30:21This is a mistake.
00:30:22I am not starlighter.
00:30:24Only 15 calories.
00:30:25Yeah.
00:30:26Now with acai.
00:30:28Oh.
00:30:28And maca root.
00:30:30That's better than that.
00:30:31Mom!
00:30:31No, Cory.
00:30:32Go back inside, please.
00:30:33Yo!
00:30:34You stay back.
00:30:36Because if you ruin my shot, it's on site, bitch.
00:30:39Okay, let's go again and fix your tits.
00:30:42They're lopsided.
00:30:42Okay, come on.
00:30:43Come on.
00:30:44All this crime stopping makes me so thirsty.
00:30:48Turbo Rush.
00:30:50Now with acai and maca root.
00:30:53That's fucking perfect.
00:30:54Okay, great.
00:30:55Okay, have fun at camp.
00:30:56No!
00:30:57No!
00:31:01Mom!
00:31:03All over.
00:31:04Not a chance.
00:31:05We have to help them.
00:31:06Help them and every super than 500 miles will be up our ass within the hour.
00:31:10We stayed a course.
00:31:12Mine's on a fucking job.
00:31:13Fuck the job.
00:31:17Give me a go.
00:31:19Down.
00:31:21Okay.
00:31:25Get back up.
00:31:37Get married!
00:31:47Finally!
00:31:49Thank you, Lando.
00:31:55Sage, I was just, um...
00:31:58What can I do for you?
00:32:01Well, that was quite a surprise today.
00:32:04Are you sure waking him was the right call?
00:32:06Yes.
00:32:07Did you tell Soulja Boy about the virus?
00:32:09No, I did not. Of course not.
00:32:14Well, what am I going to say?
00:32:15Uh, yeah, hey, I really want you to do this job for me,
00:32:18but careful,
00:32:20because there's a soup-killing virus out there,
00:32:22and you may die screaming.
00:32:25Sure you would have jumped at that.
00:32:27Oh, you have a lot to learn
00:32:28about managing big personalities, young lady.
00:32:33Well, besides, if there is a virus out there,
00:32:37the better you take the risk than us, right?
00:32:39Ah, that's tactical.
00:32:41Exactly.
00:32:42Because for a moment I was afraid
00:32:43you'd only woken him because he was your dad.
00:32:49So when he gets infected and he dies...
00:32:51You don't know that's going to happen?
00:32:52When it does, you won't go to pieces,
00:32:55because it was tactical, right?
00:32:57Mm-hmm.
00:32:58Mm-hmm.
00:32:59Right?
00:33:02As you say,
00:33:02but you're not going to touch on your feet,
00:33:04Shouldn't get in there.
00:33:04You're not going to get into that,
00:33:05But I'm going to take the air...
00:33:12A little bit,
00:33:14I'm going to look at it.
00:33:14Let's go.
00:33:14That's a little bit.
00:33:15Don't get as much as I get in here.
00:33:16But I'm going to go...
00:33:17We're going to get the air.
00:33:18You're going to get a beer...
00:33:22You're going to get some juice.
00:33:24There you're going to get some juice.
00:33:25How are you going to get some juice?
00:33:28You're going to get some juice.
00:33:33testing a biological weapon in an uncontrolled environment is dangerous enough
00:33:38transporting it without the necessary
00:33:41let's talk in we'll give in
00:33:45i'll take it
00:33:52so how fragile is this very very fragile if it broke on the way
00:33:59it could kill every superhero on earth
00:34:02there's also a non-zero percent chance it could wipe out every human on earth
00:34:09well
00:34:12best not drop it
00:34:13thank you so much
00:34:27breathe
00:34:39you get him to breathe yet
00:34:40what did you get him to breathe yet
00:34:45i'm too late no the conard is imparious
00:34:48well the rest of kicks will be back soon
00:34:50merde alors we're doing everything we can
00:35:02you know you were wrong earlier we're not terrorists
00:35:06oh god when everyone comes back jetstreak's gonna shoot an rpg up your ass and sheeline
00:35:11is gonna take a shit in the gaping hole that's left
00:35:14look you being here was not part of the plan all right it's just a shitty situation
00:35:20yeah the shittiness ratio is absolutely equal here
00:35:28we don't want to be here any longer than we have to be all we need is to get rock
00:35:33hard to breathe
00:35:38does your face full of pubes mean your friends fuck your pussy mouth
00:35:41i got a teenage daughter
00:35:43that shit right there bounces right off me
00:35:46hey didn't you used to have like
00:35:47you used to have like 10 crows at one time
00:35:49what's it called a murder
00:35:52oh let me guess
00:35:55sheila and h crows
00:35:57damn
00:35:59countess they don't give a fuck about you
00:36:00or the two crows you have left
00:36:02their names are russell and cameron
00:36:04point is vod doesn't care about y'all neither
00:36:07they're draining you for what 60% of your earnings
00:36:10it's ridiculous
00:36:12oh
00:36:15motherfucker don't go through my shit
00:36:17rosak
00:36:18welbutrin
00:36:20lexapro
00:36:20great
00:36:21great
00:36:21kid what are you 19 years old
00:36:23why are you grinding yourself to the nubs for these people
00:36:26all they're gonna do is squeeze you for every cent you got
00:36:29and then sell you out in a heartbeat
00:36:31why are you risking your life for them
00:36:38please
00:36:40please don't kill me
00:36:41i just want to go home
00:36:44i miss my mom
00:36:45and my dad
00:36:48please
00:37:02careful
00:37:07boy
00:37:08fucking smart will you
00:37:10i mean ain't you a little glad atrian's dead
00:37:16no i'm not glad he's dead
00:37:18atrian did a lot of horrible things but he saved our lives
00:37:21and he died a hero
00:37:23a real hero
00:37:23and there are a lot of other soups that don't deserve to die either
00:37:27listen
00:37:28i know you've just done it here in the gulag
00:37:31you've earned your seat at the table so
00:37:34i'll give it to you straight
00:37:36you gotta knock this wet gaping pussy shite on your head mate
00:37:40ain't doing no one no favors
00:37:42especially your girl
00:37:43i mean that's why she's giving her cold shoulder
00:37:45talk to me about annie
00:37:46you don't know what's going on with her
00:37:47well i know that she finally knows the fucking score
00:37:50and she knows
00:37:51that you
00:37:51poncing about
00:37:52with this
00:37:53jimney cricket
00:37:54listening to your heart bollocks
00:37:56she's gonna get her killed
00:38:00is there any part of you left that's still human
00:38:06you're gonna get any killed not me
00:38:10but i won't let you do it
00:38:15love it
00:38:29you hate the vial
00:38:33it's good
00:38:37wait
00:38:38is that?
00:38:42well, well, well
00:38:44he's dead right?
00:38:45he's supposed to be dead?
00:38:47supposed to be
00:38:50Mallory put him on ice for a bit
00:38:54you're telling us this now?
00:38:58somebody up there likes us mate
00:39:00in what fucking way?
00:39:01well, we wanted a guinea pig
00:39:04who better than homelanders old man?
00:39:09new plan
00:39:12boy
00:39:14ain't you supposed to be a giant ice dudo?
00:39:16aren't you supposed to be smart?
00:39:17running a truck under the name Don T be a cunt?
00:39:20same alias when we headed to hero gasm
00:39:22well
00:39:23oldie better goodie
00:39:29no mate
00:39:30just you
00:39:31and me
00:39:40i guess it's true
00:39:42you're one of us now
00:39:44well, if you can't beat him
00:39:46join him
00:39:47then fuck it
00:39:48beat him
00:39:48being super is not gonna save you
00:39:50that don't stop us helping each other
00:39:53homelanders double the cunt now
00:39:54if that's even possible
00:39:56he needs doing more than ever
00:39:57you still fancy a seat on the seven buncher?
00:40:00fuck you
00:40:00we had a deal
00:40:02i held up my end of the bargain
00:40:04and you sold me out
00:40:05put me back in a fucking box
00:40:07and for what?
00:40:09cause i was gonna kill some dumb kid?
00:40:11a kid
00:40:11is your grandson
00:40:12well was it worth it?
00:40:14you feeling good about that call right about now?
00:40:16where is that fucking brat?
00:40:18homelanders the one fucking you over mate
00:40:20or did he mention
00:40:21that we've got an ubervirus
00:40:23strong enough to kill every fucking soup on the planet?
00:40:27bullshit
00:40:27god's honest
00:40:28the things this virus can do
00:40:33fucking die pollockum
00:40:35why'd you think he sent you here?
00:40:37instead of coming himself?
00:40:39hmm?
00:40:40you're a sacrificial cunt
00:40:41again
00:40:43i guess we'll see
00:40:45you don't get it do you?
00:40:48me
00:40:48homelander
00:40:50your old crew
00:40:52everyone fucks you over
00:40:54do you wanna know why?
00:40:57cause you
00:40:58are a dumb fucking twack
00:41:08what the fuck was that?
00:41:18hey!
00:41:19you two fucktards the local soups?
00:41:22holy shit
00:41:22soldier boy
00:41:24what?
00:41:25you're a dead socialist
00:41:28the fuck
00:41:29fuck
00:41:30this was being stupid
00:41:31now shut your cum bucket and listen
00:41:32a jap and a fairy took off east
00:41:35find them and kill them
00:41:36or i'm gonna rip your intestines out of your asses
00:41:38and tie them together like shoelaces
00:41:42move!
00:41:45fuck
00:41:46fuck
00:41:51fuck
00:41:51fuck
00:41:51fucking figures
00:41:57hey man get ready we're coming in
00:41:59whoa whoa whoa slow down kid
00:42:02soldier boy
00:42:04he's alive?
00:42:06fuck that just how long do we have?
00:42:09just-huey
00:42:10Yui!
00:42:13We gotta move.
00:42:15Our fucking H-bomb is headed this way.
00:42:17Oh, shit.
00:42:48Go!
00:43:29I got a drop for dookie.
00:43:32Get it?
00:43:34That's you.
00:43:36You're the dookie.
00:43:59I got you.
00:44:03I know.
00:44:17Oh my god, are you ok?
00:44:18Is the virus?
00:44:20Let's get everything.
00:44:20Ok.
00:44:23Oi!
00:44:24Prince!
00:44:26Oh shit.
00:44:26Move!
00:44:28Go!
00:44:34You're with me.
00:44:38Hey!
00:44:47Yui Campbell, how's a useless cock gobbler like you still alive?
00:44:53All your jokes are about dudes blowing dudes.
00:44:56You're kind of obsessed.
00:44:59Is this the virus he was going on about?
00:45:02The so called soup killer?
00:45:04Huh?
00:45:04Well not today you semen swilly butt pirate.
00:45:07What?
00:45:14No.
00:45:15Virus.
00:45:16Bitch.
00:45:16I will shoot.
00:45:18Hot.
00:45:18Come in.
00:45:20Your face.
00:45:21Bro.
00:45:21Not.
00:45:22Not right now.
00:45:22Wow.
00:45:31What the f-
00:45:53No.
00:45:55No.
00:45:58No.
00:46:23No.
00:47:06No.
00:47:08They did?
00:47:09Very.
00:47:10Oh, fuck, I wish I would've seen that.
00:47:12No.
00:47:13You don't.
00:47:16Come on, let's leg it.
00:47:19No, no, no, Monca, and until we are certain I have not been infected with this plague.
00:47:59Yes.
00:48:01May I have a word?
00:48:03Wait out there.
00:48:07What are you doing?
00:48:08I'm about to enjoy a Mexi Melt.
00:48:09There is extra if you want to join in.
00:48:11No, thank you.
00:48:12Crunchwrap Supreme, cheesy gordita crunch?
00:48:13No.
00:48:14Cantina crispy chicken taco?
00:48:15I don't want any taco fucking bell.
00:48:16Okay.
00:48:17Rounding up all the starlight sympathizers is a well thought out plan.
00:48:22Clearly the right call.
00:48:23He's not in the building.
00:48:24Thank fucking god.
00:48:26What the fuck?
00:48:27Why are we doing this?
00:48:29Doing what?
00:48:30If posting weird shit were a crime, I'd be serving two life sentences.
00:48:33Homelander sets the agenda.
00:48:35I just execute.
00:48:36That's bullshit.
00:48:37You're the smartest person on the planet.
00:48:39There is no way you don't have an angle here.
00:48:41My angle.
00:48:43My angle is that I could have Warren Buffet on the ground tongue lashing my clit till he needs a
00:48:48D replacement.
00:48:49All the rich white fucks in the world hang on my every word.
00:48:53It's nicer than I expected.
00:48:57Ashley, she's smart.
00:48:59She's gotta listen to reason.
00:49:01Look, I've been there.
00:49:04Literally where you're sitting.
00:49:06But that chair isn't a pedestal.
00:49:07It's a chopping block.
00:49:09And I can help you.
00:49:11But you gotta talk to me.
00:49:18Don't strain yourself trying to read my mind again.
00:49:20You know you can't.
00:49:21You're gonna blow out the back of your skull.
00:49:30Wow.
00:49:31You're unbelievable, Ashley.
00:49:32That was the most pathetic display of a backbone I've ever seen.
00:49:35They're arresting innocent people.
00:49:37But sure, let Sage suck down her garbage chalupa.
00:49:41I need a minute.
00:49:48From back here I see a spine.
00:49:50Fucking use it.
00:49:51Do I get laser eyes?
00:49:52No.
00:49:53I get a psychic fucking tumor.
00:49:55This is junior year all over again.
00:49:57Do you remember when you let Danny Trachtenberg finger blast us behind the friendlies cause he had Jamiroquai tickets?
00:50:01And then he took Miriam Applebaum?
00:50:04Going along won't get you what you want.
00:50:06Going along is why we're still alive.
00:50:08You should have left with A-Train when he asked you to.
00:50:10At least he had a shred of decency.
00:50:13That's why he's dead.
00:50:14First they came for the communists and I did not speak out because I was not a communist.
00:50:18I don't need Martin Neumola right now.
00:50:19You used to love his poetry and Birkenstocks and throwing clay.
00:50:23You used to want to do some good in the world.
00:50:26What happened?
00:50:27I tried.
00:50:28I tried.
00:50:29But there's nothing I can do.
00:50:31Half of Washington thinks Homelanders bat shit.
00:50:34The CIA.
00:50:35The Pentagon.
00:50:36They will follow you if you lead them.
00:50:38I'm not a leader.
00:50:39I'm vice president.
00:50:41You can still do some good Ashley.
00:50:43We can still do some good.
00:50:44Just shut up.
00:50:46Or I'm gonna float on my back in the tub again.
00:50:48You want that?
00:50:50You're better than this.
00:50:51You are better than this.
00:50:53No!
00:50:55Ow!
00:50:56So, we're clear.
00:50:58You're absolutely sure?
00:50:59Triple check the results.
00:51:00None of you are carriers.
00:51:02Humans are immune.
00:51:03Oh, no chance.
00:51:04Thank you for your mother.
00:51:06No!
00:51:18Goddamn.
00:51:19I've only seen shit like this one at a time.
00:51:23It was on you outside of that truck stop whorehouse on our 23.
00:51:27Soldier cunt down.
00:51:29Homelander to go.
00:51:30We fucking did it.
00:51:32About time.
00:51:38Won't care.
00:51:46Let's run away.
00:51:50What?
00:51:51There are over 50 uninhabited islands in the Pacific.
00:51:55We just need to find one so remote.
00:51:58Nobody will ever find us.
00:52:02You were right.
00:52:05This virus.
00:52:06There is no contain in it.
00:52:08No stuff in it.
00:52:09I do not know how to protect you from it.
00:52:12Except to take you as far away from here as possible.
00:52:32Mon amour.
00:52:34Mon amour.
00:52:34You did not see its carnage.
00:52:36It's too dangerous.
00:52:37It's dangerous for everyone.
00:52:39No innocent people are being wound up.
00:52:41No, je pepon.
00:52:43Don't ask me to watch you die.
00:52:46I think this is how we make amends.
00:52:50The lives we've taken.
00:52:51I think we have to...
00:52:54Get up every day and keep going.
00:53:01Yes.
00:53:07Yes.
00:53:09Yes.
00:53:11Yes.
00:53:13Yes.
00:53:17Yes.
00:53:25you're allowed to freak out you know this virus
00:53:30it's fucking brutal i don't know for a rock hard i'd say it's an improvement
00:53:39i haven't exactly had a magical year either neither of us is fine
00:53:45and we shouldn't be and if you don't want to talk about it you don't have to
00:53:50thanks but i'm not letting you die
00:53:56i'm gonna keep fighting
00:54:00and if you can't then i'm just gonna fight for both of us
00:54:06but just don't turn into fucking butcher okay
00:54:25why not i'm late
00:54:43all right tara
00:54:47time for your meds
00:54:58he's a good boy
00:55:00well hey be careful sir there's a viral contagion
00:55:18i got here as soon as i heard and i locked shit down
00:55:21i'm sending soldier boy to test the waters pretty fucking strategic sir
00:55:25you're always playing 3d chess aren't you
00:55:28i told him to report back
00:55:31told him not to go in alone why would he do that
00:55:33well it's more like soldier doy am i right
00:55:37leave
00:55:39well i just um i gotta be here sir to do this should have been you
00:55:42oh hey i'm sorry leave
00:55:49i was swimming
00:56:12no no no not you too not you
00:56:29why does everyone keep leaving
00:56:35i'm sorry
00:56:46i get no doubt
00:56:48i get no doubt
00:56:53i get no doubt
00:57:18He drinks a cider drink. He sings the songs that remind him of the good times. He sings the songs
00:57:23that remind him of the best times.
00:57:25Oh, Danny boy, Danny boy, Danny boy.
00:57:33I get no doubt, but I get up again. You never know to keep me down. I get no doubt,
00:57:39but I get up again. You never know to keep me down.
00:57:42I get no doubt, but I get up again. You never know to keep me down. I get no doubt,
00:57:49but I get up again. You never know to keep me down.
00:57:54It's in the night away. It's in the night away.
00:58:01He drinks a whiskey drink. He drinks a vodka drink. He drinks a lager drink. He drinks a cider drink.
00:58:06He sings the songs that remind him of the good times. He sings the songs that remind him of the
00:58:10better times.
00:58:12Don't cry for me, extraordinary love
00:58:19I get no doubt, but I get up again
00:58:22You're never gonna keep me down
00:58:24I get no doubt, but I get up again
00:58:27You're never gonna keep me down
00:58:29I get no doubt, but I get up again
00:58:31You're never gonna keep me down
00:58:33I get no doubt, but I get up again
00:58:36You're never gonna keep me down
00:58:38I can't go down, but I still can, you never have a boy hit me down
00:58:42I can't go down, but I still can, you never have a boy hit me down
00:58:47I can't go down, but I still can, you never have a boy hit me down
00:58:52I can't go down, but I still can, you never have a boy hit me down
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